r/Cursedcomments · not the vegans!

a russian wedding should be called a soviet union change my mind and an alabama wedding should be called a family reunion change my mind no you both make very good points what's going on everyone welcome back to easy peasy my name is david the baker and today we're going to be taking a look at our slash curse comments just a little warning prepare to be uncomfortable and without further ado let's go in cloudy with a chance of meatballs every president on mount rushmore except abe lincoln gets pie directly in the face lincoln takes a pie to the back of the head which is how he was assassinated so you're telling me he got creampied in the back oh god got no kids hire a babysitter anyways say that your kid is asleep upstairs and must not be disturbed then when you return ask where your child is sometimes my genius it's almost frightening even better open the window before you leave and make the bed look like it's been gotten out of and if they go to check on them they'll freak out okay calm down satan eminem with handicapped fan in 2019 what kind of condition is that every i'd like to see him face off against giga cop what the f is that what do they feed this guy other cops no minorities it's almost 14 years since this movie was released and i don't understand how a bull has tits it's a kids movie would you rather see a 25 centimeter ding dong bouncing around the entire movie well kinda it would make it it would definitely make it more interesting weapon name rusty knife condition badly damaged element none damage 98 to 134 super effective against non-vaccinated kid four times the damage oh that's neat bacon lovers meet baby pigs next they should do cannibals meet toddlers not gonna lie i would totally watch that are you a bullet because i can't get you out of my head dang dang that's deep uh the bullet i mean this rabbit you see here risked his life to catch this cat now he's a cop it's because the cat's black isn't it florida man kills friend calls it delayed abortion burned grandparents alive early cremation oh yikes for every upvote you give a sex offender dies on the spot but what if i don't want to die believe me it's for the greater good oh that's sweet it's like mom can she play inside with me nah nah nah it's more like mom i brought dinner i'm a strong female character no i am a strong female character amateurs what was that punk amateurs of course she's the strongest because she can handle donkey's massive pee-pee china's police now have laser rifles that can set a whole person on fire up to a kilometer away crispy well you can't eat them raw yeah i mean you gotta cook your food come on i know this is tender and i'm supposed to be overly sexual but screw that your eyes are freaking enchanting oh thank you i appreciate the normalcy lmao may i have them give me your eyes dead people often fart right after dying is that how your soul escapes the body exactly ah yes because our souls are just captured farts that need to be released it's kind of poetic gordon ramsay shooting at ducks on the next episode gordon shoots and prepares a vegan me personally i don't have anything against vegans but the idea of hunting one down is kind of hilarious i mean there are people who don't eat meat at all and you hunt them and consume them for their meat like that that's just kind of gangster gta and vr would be so badass it's called minneapolis me goes to bed my nostrils oh my god yes this is a good representation of two other close holes together on my body really emily why you gotta say things now is not the time to be gross so you have chosen death welcome to today's episode of who's hotter scarlett johansson or this boy in summer one will give me blue balls whilst the other will give me red balls i don't know to be honest are you kidding me the slide is definitely hotter a mad lad to be feared i can chop anything bring anything to me and i'll chop it wood tire or even strong wood i'm giving a 400 reward for bringing me something i cannot chop can you chop a human i mean given his record probably so mind conf pdf but chill i gotta read it for school uk police nice save bro go ahead oh that's why homeland security raided my house i should have added the four school part when i searched up how to build an intercontinental ballistic missile in your garage yep you see that was your mistake there dear men what is stopping you from looking like this i kinda wanna eat them the forbidden haribo what's the best situation to eat at doritos that's assuming that there's a bad time to eat doritos well a funeral would be [ __ ] up though i'm literally flying to a funeral right now i'll test your theory update you were absolutely right why you should not be the president i am a german rejected art student luckily you're not austrian though yeah maybe you should just avoid political power just to be safe yes i'm gay yes i live in iran we exist iranian government not for long how many times will this image be reposted across the internet i see less pixels every time the pixels represent the gays in iran oh i see isabelle remembers her time in the ussr isabel remembers when the soviets sent her mom laika to space oh yes we all remember that when they sent a dog into space and then just kind of left it there to die so cool bros so like jesus could walk on water oh god watermelons are 92 percent water i can walk on watermelons and so i'm 92 jesus i can walk on ice and ice is 100 water therefore i'm 100 jesus so you'll be 100 crucified hey i mean you got to take the good with the bad karen's against police brutality i'd like to speak to the manager of systemic racism perhaps i treated you too harshly nah she ate karen oh come on she's helping karen protesting police brutality the karen's are caring nah nah nah the karens are carrying with a k maybe they should start a caring caring club with all k's so the care and caring club or kkk for sure oh crap playing kobe on nba 2k20 tried the helicopter dunk but the game crashed ah that's so funny i can't breathe neither can kobe wow hey buddy too soon oh cool it's mr beast with 10 million legos i'm kind of sad he didn't show them knocking the towers down yeah well the last time someone knocked down two towers it didn't go well okay so we have an elf holding an assault rifle just kind of like huh this should help what do elves have schools pumped up kicks medieval style everyone's a night till the class jester brings a longbow to the monastery let me guess your home it was and it was beautiful the trees can't be harmed if the lorax is armed capitalists can't make coats if he slits all their throats now these are the rhymes doctors who should have been writing i don't know what he was thinking never give up 2016 and 2019 wow he lost two things his body fat and his rights had a dream about a monkey jacking me off in the zoo what the f go to the zoo and make your dreams come true seriously though what the heck's going on in your dreams man what surprised you about sex after having it for the first time the girl's mother trying to barge in the door was blocked by a dresser and her gaze beamed into the room like the eye of sauron you shall not come oh god what a crazy mother roses are red i want to hug you gently it's a giant mushroom maybe it's friendly japanese people on august 6th and 9th in 1945 yeah but that mushroom cloud was not very friendly my son got the spider-man costume he's been wanting forever today i held him up in various positions and then photoshopped myself out turned out pretty good nails would have been quicker than photoshop yeah but he's cosplaying for spider-man not jesus nasa wants to probe deeper into uranus than ever before imagine if we started hearing loud moaning sounds from uranus nasa oni-chan oh god yeah be careful what you wish for autistic artist draws 18-foot picture of new york after taking 20-minute helicopter ride over city see vaccines aren't that bad i mean that's not the argument i would lead with but i mean whatever floats your boat a jewish girl asked for my number i told her we use names now this joke contains too much chaotic energy for me hey droplets group hug ah what a hug wow they made us i'd packed hey man why you gotta ruin the cartoon it was a wholesale meme and your comment just ruined it coming out of the closet son mom dad i'm pansexual the parents realizing why the food tastes weird so that's why my sister thought it tasted familiar human tastes most like pork oh so that's what pork tastes like i'll probably just stick to human i have super huge private part i mean with a size like that it kind of becomes a public part am i right i mean you got a point if it's over two feet it's no longer private it's for the world to see a finger guillotine oh goodness this is really good for those who need a quick circumcision i mean you're not wrong touche says something racist uh that's kind of racist haha oh yeah what are you gonna do about it i also kill myself when someone says something racist gta 5 police arrest me after saying hello and that's why gta is one of the most realistic games out there seriously the way they pull the gun out on you is so realistic r slash crappy super powers the ability to resurrect dead people by finger banging them forgive me grandma ooh please include me in the r slash curse comment oh if i'm in there put a giraffe next to me i always love these comments because of course these people don't need to be in here but it's good to know that somebody got some benefit from this post because us the reader definitely didn't people holding on to a man trying to commit steid no one should escape we're all in this crappy earth together how did they just happen to have rope some of them were on their way to off themselves this scene was so sad vader made a nice meal for everyone and han solo just starts shooting like a [ __ ] how the media portrays it white terrorist fires at peaceful dark magic scholar i mean technically the truth when your shampoo says repairs damage but you're still broken on the inside that's why you drink it silly every job is stupid name one cool job the guy who shoots the bullet through the cds to make the hole i raise you the guy who shoots the bullet in the donut to make the hole the guy who shoots a hole in bruce wayne's parents to make batman up okay this guy wins congratulations omar colgate smile the only smile i couldn't brighten was my own no colgate not like this your username becomes a real being with a human mind and spawns in your house what is the outcome the soviet union oh no oh god no what have you done ah yes the soviet union is alive and well again r slash jokes i went to the sperm bank today the lady asked if i could masturbate in the cup i said i'm good but i'm not ready to compete in a tournament just yet i got fired from the sperm bank yesterday every time a man walked in i'd say get a load of this guy my friend got fired for drinking too much on the job oh no marina took to social media holding a photo of her pregnancy test while cuddling her 20 year old stepson influencer reveals she's pregnant with her stepson's baby i wonder if she was stuck under a table or the washing machine here i was thinking that all that p-hub stuff was just fiction and then i see this what a mess this crap just ruins my childhood if you zoom in to where her hand is uh it's not so appropriate what she's just practicing her strokes our slash cursed comments are slash cursed comments you are trapped in your most hated person's body you have 48 hours to ruin their life you may not kill or be killed what will you do for 47 hours i shall sit and waiting then on the last hour i will proceed to eat 15 ghost peppers and a little treat i like to call the leftover food scraps from taco bell from three weeks ago combined with 15 kilograms of rotten dog food then i will swallow a whole bottle of laxatives super glue my mouth and butthole shut and get the hell out of there and wait for the fun to begin oh hi satan dang man may i shake your hand i've always wanted to meet evil incarnate no really this is some next level craziness right here i don't even know what to say yeah you know what me neither all the tall people shall be decapitated i mean that's what it looks like tear gas me if you have a tiny penis this guy the girl cops dang even the girl cops got tiny penises redditors who sort by new how do you know it's a banger when you see it this one will rise to the front page don't ask me how i know oh i know you're doing the tingle isn't it yeah it's like a spidey sense except for your ding-dong buy him food play with his hair and take him out on a date we reciprocating ladies suck his titties yes that is the equality we need sometimes i feel like i have the worst job in the world yeah right puts toothbrush up his butt those intestines won't clean themselves did you know that obama passed a bill requiring every tire to be equipped with a gps chip so that you can be located in the 5g networks trump hasn't reversed this yet if you don't want to be followed all you have to do is cut out the little antenna that sticks out oh god they place one on my body too grab scissors hey man whatever you got to do to be safe you know if that means you got to cut your ding-dong off he's got to cut your ding-dong off my uncle watching me pee dang your uncle's got a nice stare doesn't he he's just he's just watching he ain't even blinking he knows what he's looking at and he likes what he sees i respect that teacher remember to practice safe sex my mind safe sex oh yeah unlock me daddy oo woo and the idea is ruined thanks naked girls get thousands of upvotes how many can our parasaurus get i'll fap to anything shower thoughts if a vegan is friends with a cow then the meat from that cow is vegan friendly oh so you care about cows name every cow then okay steak veal rib eye t-bone milker ice cream cookies and cream milkshake vanilla bean and ribs yeah that's about all of them man f velma don't mind if i do oh hey google how old is velma from scooby-doo daphne is 16 years old velma is only 15. scooby-doo is seven years old yeah maybe you don't want people to quote you on this one fbi open up i went to bed with a blind girl once she said i had the biggest ding-dong she ever felt i said you're pulling my leg then i put my actual ding-dong in her hand and she replied no thanks i don't smoke oof that's gotta hurt this man is paralyzed but his friends held him up to get married i bet they f his wife for him too you see this is why you get so many downvotes nobody wants to hear that r minecraft did i do it right huh ah yes the privilege wither r crappy superpowers if you snored a person's ashes like cocaine you gained their knowledge then why am i still stupid i'm sorry what guess she didn't choose the right people katara can really only get pregnant if she wanted to ah you're right just take the upvote i'll do you one better pp requires blood to become big pp that and the fact that she can bloodbend yeah ah wait what the heck is wrong with me she has the power to give and take boners ah heck my childhood has been violated fact white people abolish slavery how come we never hear about this who else was gonna do it the slaves yeah and hitler killed the leader of the nazis but we don't celebrate him well most of us don't uh you got a point animation sweatshops should be banned cartoon network animators spending 300 hours animating a small child farting they all hate their jobs except for the file that's his favorite part at least they get free advertisement though weebs gamers sony what the heck is this the ps5 is one day old you degenerates uh yeah this post right here officer why do you want to suck your own ding dong do you want to go in your own mouth or something sincerely a girl who wants to know what the f is up with y'all because if you want a job done right you better do it yourself cheers i'll drink to that i would rather not know what you drink given the context do not feed or molest the ducks what the hell happened here the do not molest sign isn't there for the duck's safety it's for yours you don't want to know what these ducks have done man my boyfriend cheated on me with a slag she's called susan but she goes by the name chelsea i've heard she's in here too chelsea responds dude and he won't cheat next time dang chelsea come on it was not that deep oh it's female star wars characters female yoda please wrinkled coochie i have okay whoa that one's old obi-wan and anakin fighting psych they're at the strip club who has the high ground now kenobi we commit to stand in solidarity and take action with the black community as they rightfully demand justice that's why from june 6 to june 12th only ebony videos will be available on our website so we can see the blacks getting [ __ ] again no thanks things a police officer can say at work and in the bedroom who's the judge gonna believe me or you that's [ __ ] up when the teacher removes your name from kahoot so you kashoot up the whole school what do bags of chips and a gun have in common when you pull them out everyone wants to be your friend god this comment section is dark hey what happened in december 2020 well there was the moon landing yes finally some good news uh maybe it's not as good as you're thinking imagine there will be at least one person who spreads his or her legs as it happens and lets the moon f him or her what a magnificent way to go uh patrick i don't think we can loot this any further nonsense spongebob oh god the joysticks are the balls shower thoughts in a span of a few years our parents go from telling us that sex is bad to i want grandkids and from don't make me feel old to make me a grandparent yeah screw them no no that'll just make them parents again wait what what is a good slogan for a funeral parlor just because you died a virgin doesn't mean you'll be buried as one yeah that's good hey wait a second if you're 28 and a man is taking you to red lobster as a date then you need to reevaluate the kind of men you're dating if you're 21 and you're still evaluating men based on where they take you out to eat rather than the quality of time spent you need to re-evaluate your life this is one of the reasons why men don't date anymore i'm 85 and i'm telling you i would completely suck a ding-dong for red lobster's admirals feast and biscuits okay grandma i see you when she can build her own toys out of ice her coochie would be freezing cold the coal never bothered her anyway oh even more i once found an el santa bdsm video on p-hub and elsa was putting balls of ice up on his vj i'll see if i can find the link edit people did not want the link yeah that's why you have negative 11 up votes congratulations you managed to gross out the internet when she buys me that ps5 me moms are great aren't they ah really come on what do you think sex was like back in medieval times what about cavemen times um let me smash what are you doing step boonga oh goodness this is a biological squirt gun it costs you zero dollars to keep your mouth shut oh yeah shoot you a squirt gun yuck lord big vader dang she's freaking hot i would greatly screw her with my lightsaber obi-wan kenobi 69 jesus christ anakin why don't you go back to effing padme oh wait you can't because she's freaking dead geez obi-wan you didn't have to go so hard that's what she said ah shut up vader what on god's name is this twinkle tush is an accessory that hangs from a cat's tail to cover their butthole fashionably purchase here for 5.99 for just 5.99 you can start explaining to concerned strangers that your cat is most certainly not wearing a butt plug it's just a fashionable butthole medallion see that's much less creepy uh no it's not yep and we're done that's it well everyone that's it for the episode of r slash curse comments if you like this video make sure to support the channel by leaving a like down below and don't forget to press the subscribe button and the notification bell to be notified of all our easy peasy uploads but anyways i'm your host david the baker and i will see you in the next video peace out and three thumbs up

Channel: EzPz

Views: 593,084

Rating: 4.9406252 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, reddit top posts, reddit best posts, reddit top posts of all time, top posts of all time, top posts, best posts, posts, reddit posts, reddit funny, r/, subreddit, top all time, reddit true stories, r/cursedcomments, r/cursedcomments top posts, cursed comments, r/cursedcomments ezpz, reddit comments, blessed comments, emkay, ezpz, ez pz

Id: 47kb2ZlB-SA

Length: 19min 16sec (1156 seconds)

Published: Tue Oct 13 2020