r/Cursedcomments · slurp

this is what coke looks like when it's sun bleached i found it on the railroad tracks take a swig and let us know if the sun changed the taste how's it going everyone welcome back to easy peasy my name is zach and today we're going to be taking a look at r cursed comments girl delete her boy okay boy delete him girl but he's my friend i can delete him if you want says coronavirus 18f i wanted to be an artist but i'm slowly going blind r slash rose to me oh oh no the silence after your kid falls over is the worst because they're either absolutely fine or filling their lungs with enough air to mimic an air raid siren or they puncture both lungs and are silently suffocating i mean he's not wrong the doctor after the urine test i no who did you watch your name with they could be the person you will eventually marry according to a japanese rumor people who watched it alone i watched it with my sister oh no real gamers plant saplings if only we could farm skeletons and use their bone meal to grow trees instantaneously in real life well you technically can it's just illegal i'm wanted in 37 countries for grave robbery give me my grandpa back when you kill someone as the imposter and you see that little pet just sitting there all alone i'm sorry little one there should be an option to kill it too jesus christ man ladies may i introduce human magic arming the names to destabilize the existing government on foreign soil how american thanks gold's gym for the free workout happy mother's day because she earned it average texas resident average california male i'm from europe and i'm an average california male how much for the feed pick what is your wish mortal well i wish i would stop second-guessing myself really you're going to wish for that hey it's my wish so i get to be the hey jumps off a bridge oh what's under there huh oh oh kitty reminder oh no i don't usually like gender reveal parties but that one was lit the entire state gets to care about your baby now it's not just your son it's our son this quarantine got me seeing things go to horny jail bunk i can still fap to this are you a moth at everyone my school just went into an unplanned emergency lockdown everyone in my class is thinking the same thing since we are all american who's the imposter anger is not the way of the jedi from absolute gain have you ever heard the story of doth diabetes the wide i don't want to get political but 478 million people live in the come zone so germany austria and switzerland is the gas zone princess i have come for you there is no princess in this castle but dragon you are my princess wholesome until rule 34 gets involved oh a devastator cool buy me one no black people can't be sold anymore he's he's telling the truth partially jesus christ what are some guy secrets girls don't know about we can't move our penis without closing our butthole you just made men all over the internet clinch their ass that's power you can't buy while i nodded nearly napping suddenly there came a clapping as of as cheeks gently clapping clapping at my chamber door tis a visitor i muttered dummy thick and nothing more a villain is just a victim whose story hasn't been told yeah have you heard of this german victim that didn't get accepted to art school twice in a row notre dame on fire is the most aesthetically pleasing visually i've ever seen i'm going to burn your mother we'll see if it's aesthetic damn i hope when i die my ashes will be spread on the women's long jump sand thanks peter griffin thank you mario but your princess is in another castle but toad you are my princess so that's why the mushrooms make him grow no dug these up in my yard today if anyone knows alyssa hallie maddie and xander from iowa i have these for you keep digging and you'll find them oh what is your favorite non-dildo dildo 10 basketballs tied together to make homemade anal beads i would pay to see that curious boy nearly dies after sticking 53 magnetic balls up penis he's got some balls of steel you must wear a face i have rights never said had to be my face i sure do love pizza i hope nobody comes on it classic reverse psychology i'm just as impressed promised my kid ice cream if his team won this is what motivation looks like hard to eat ice cream if your eyes have popped out men should ejaculate at least 21 times per month to reduce the risk of developing prostate cancer it's september 9th and i'm already done with october i fixed a pigeon's wing so he went to fetch his girlfriend and now they live at my house dude honey looks like we're having pigeon tonight if you have a small penis smile if you have the big one put a coin in this guy deserves a phd in marketing imagine you're with your girl and you put a coin in and she smiles imagine if she puts a coin corky that's cute until you realize that the way you remove the corky is by brutally stabbing into the corkscrew your sister returning from the strip club you going to the strip club damn i missed her again sunscreen companies after inventing the sun gas companies after creating hitler oh no male wizards are always old men female wizards are always young women why because male wizards are meant to be wise masters of the arcane art and female wizards are meant to get my dick card my oversized hoodie my erection the entire school well this is why my gf wears oversized hoodies wait a [ __ ] minute yo what's up it's your neighbor mike from apartment 204. yo what's up mike can y'all get quieter please it's 12 a.m and i'm trying to sleep i'm at work right now mike where'd you go bro mike went to join i eat twice as much me just so that one vegan thinks he or she is making a difference is actually making no difference at all why do people hate vegans the last one i knew it was delicious one day in the future somebody is going to live in your room and not know anything about you or the experiences you had in it once they find the bodies they will build a man of fire and he'll be warm for an hour set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life true you go to hell and satan forces you to marry his daughter she gives you a job she can literally suck the life out of you i finally filled it after five months it is what you think it is thanks man has to be six feet has to be smart has to be rich has to have a perfect body i think your standards are still low can't be fat yes they have to be alive deep fake president kennedy discusses rick and morty it makes sense that he's a rick and morty fan his brain was so big it covered an entire car after all u.s marines have a dance-off with south korean marines nah fam they all just in the pre-game lobby there is zero person in the u.s named gay bowser me who is about to have a kid i will do what i must your wife you will try now we kidnap the child from the mcdonald's play place desperate times call for desperate measures thomas jefferson his 600 plus slaves all men are created equal his 600 plus slaves jokes on you they couldn't read airplane forced to make emergency landing because woman's crotch smelled so bad so did she previously have a mug shot or did her crotch smell so bad that it was deserving of a mug shot no that was literally a picture of a crotch i'm so wet mom what the [ __ ] what do you mean honey you're so wet yes haven't you looked outside it's pouring go to horny jail bunk hot moms are closer than you think straight people have read it what made you realize you weren't gay every time i suck dick i'm not really that into it but they keep paying and you keep sucking you guys are getting paid do you have school tomorrow yes shut up when you eat your brother's strange broccoli a kid is playing video games in his room minding his own business his mother walks in honey come meet my new boyfriend i'm kind of busy right now can you bring him in here instead a minute or so later her boyfriend walks in hey champ how you doing the kid ignores him don't like champ huh that's fine how about blue dragon 72 the kid turns his head quickly i haven't heard that name since i was 10. he then realized it can't be call of duty right i told you i'd bang your mom that's a beautiful story i'd read a book of that she must have had a long ass day holy moly the best part is that at some point you know she went down a crowded aisle and brushed against someone imagine their horror as they turned to see what it was and realize it's this monster's bulbous ass meat wings this would never happen and you all know why men are never told to give an ugly woman a chance because she's nice at the end of the film she turns back into a human guy starts freaking out because he was so excited about the furry woman and now it's ruined and he has a cell for plain old normal sex this is why i stopped standing naked on my rooftop because you are a giant dick got him i'm not a burger you're more than a burger you're a steak you're a stew a versatile queen is what you are finally a new way to compliment my wife damn y'all sleep naked what if demons tickle your [ __ ] bro that's why i sleep naked learn japanese while sleeping eight hours learn all basic phrases i listen to this while sleeping and now my private parts are pixelated a school rejected albert einstein he taught the world someone else also got rejected from a school not sure he did the right type of teaching sir isaac newton died a virgin that's what you get for inventing calculus when you're explaining the history of beyblades but the cop interrupts you and asks why you haven't paid your taxes since 2004. we get there when we get there it's like when he asks about the body in the back so impatient in russian they don't say i love you they say whatever that is which means we are one and the same and i think that's beautiful eat the flesh of the capitalists oh that's what it says i found my ex-gf's body in the morgue i work at it was very awkward still giving you the silent treatment the cold shoulder did she ghost you men convicted of rape will be castrated in nigeria under new law so what if he has been falsely accused just glue him back on i don't speak japanese but i'd say she enjoyed that she repeatedly is saying stop oh what's the best response to are you sexually active at a doctor's appointment with your parents not that i'm aware of an angel crying at the cradle of the aborted child he was to guard well he didn't guard it very well then the licking part was so realistic until i figured out my earbuds fell out and my uncle was looking my ears instead the uncle jokes they never stopped my mom asked me if i was a lesbian and i was like no way i love big fat kicks in my mouth and she still got upset moms hate competition my apple broke the apple cutter and now i have a weapon keeps the doctor away girls on instagram i won't date you if you aren't six feet or above the girl bro she's six feet wide let us never forget the time the world's smartest man made a dick joke i can finally get an erection the doctors disabled my pop-up blocker stand up comedy come on man i i see a light don't go grandpa congratulations it's a healthy baby boy that is very scary several religions are typing arrest that child just because you've been reincarnated doesn't mean you can't escape your war crimes the wallpaper that i had whenever i was 10 the wallpaper that i have now evolution japan before and after the trash can love where's the trash can under the sink wait i'm not married imagine a raccoon has been giving you no jobs the entire time her do you have any condoms him no her this way hate when a nostril is dirty oh our slash prequel memes a surprise to be sure but a welcome one when you ask your crush for a pic and she sends a picture of her cat it is acceptable why is he looking at his hand like that we all know why just found out there is a species of many great white sharks called salmon sharks and i think everyone should see this they need to make a new jaws with these sharks and midgets stop disney gave us memories dreamworks gave us memes and pixar gave us thick moms mater is the thickest pixar mom horrifying sperm bank slash greek yogurt mix-up scandal oops oops is insufficient the fact they're being stored in the same place should tell you all you need to know about greek yogurt meet robert pramp also known as the happy scientist on youtube arrested with 20 hard drives full of cp christ i used to watch this video so many years ago hopefully the science ones lol so that's the girl who bombed my house in syria i totally forgive her huh if he grew a mustache it would also be his beard elmo decides to visit the real world specifically your house tonight good this dick ain't gonna suck itself sportscar a beautiful gf to become ceo of microsoft to become a professional hacker this is so obvious lamau take the girlfriend murder her harvest and sell her organs take hacking classes with the money use the money to buy a car use the car to get more girlfriends repeat until you have enough money hire a hitman to kill a ceo take the ceo's skin and wear it as a suit and pretend to be him it's so simple i'm over 100 days free from self-harm 118. i can't believe it it feels like yesterday was my 10th day clean yeah op bloody amazing i relapsed last week a few days short of 100 but i'll be there soon real happy for you thank you i believe in you too hang in there word choice my guy what the hell my uncle showed me a similar trick to this day i haven't figured out how his finger ended up in my ass imagine having sex with someone and they moan your twitter name instead of your real name yeah says add somebody else legs are so weird because like you can do this but then you can do this the top one is a all heil feeler million dollar idea a tampon but when you pull it out you see it's grown into a surprise dinosaur like those ones that grow in a glass of water after your period will you get a stegosaurus or a velociraptor only your cervix knows after your period do you know how many tampons a girl goes through in half a day on her period let alone an entire five to seven days if one show them you can build a [ __ ] jurassic park and you're angry they don't deserve this damn that baby's cool as hell just vibing and well ladies and gentlemen we have reached the end of our slash cursed comments thank you all so much for watching if you enjoyed what you saw be sure to hit that subscribe button and the bell so you get notified every time you use the pc uploads and if you want to hear more of me my personal channel zach's fuller is in the link in the description below you

Channel: EzPz

Views: 388,801

Rating: 4.959487 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, reddit top posts, reddit best posts, reddit top posts of all time, top posts of all time, top posts, best posts, posts, reddit posts, reddit funny, r/, subreddit, top all time, reddit true stories, Cursedcomments

Id: wsNijwRhALU

Length: 13min 50sec (830 seconds)

Published: Sat Feb 27 2021