How is Twitter free? #90

just got accepted into oxford university congratulations your place at university of oxford oh free free for medicine has been confirmed and then oxford replies saying yes see you in october who said i was gonna accept and then they say my dad won't let me leave london and they've accepted a place at university college london so oxford really got blueballed there yikes so i was looking at the comments on one of the last videos and i came across this one i want him to say hey cuties in a deep and i mean deep voice okay hey cuties it's your boy fainted and welcome back to howard's twitter free the series where we take a look at the funniest tweets from all across twitter.com no i didn't get you ma'am yeah can you say subscribed fainted subscribe yeah can you say subscribe to fainted subscribe to simpson yes 2020 and people still put in dead relatives in their bio rookie mistake and you may be wondering why is that a rookie mistake well this is why this girl tweets out saying men under five foot 11 shouldn't exist and this dude says i'm 5'7 but that's 11 foot 7 over your dad if that helps and if you go to check out her bio it says r.i.p dad 1971-2019 oh no that is nasty and this dude jeffrey says in reality i'm six foot stand on her dead dad i'm still six foot thuff i mean i feel pretty bad reading this out but at the same time she did say men under 5 for 11 shouldn't exist which is a pretty harsh thing to say really you don't want to mess with under fifa 11 twitter nation bro seriously she's very clean i bet how long are showers between 5 and 15 minutes and look this girl opened his snap 575 weeks ago yeah i'm not sure about that shower anymore bro so after not tweeting all the way since 2014 blockbuster comes back and says just checking in six years later no blockbuster i thought you were shut down bro and dr disrespect says you know who you're talking to right yeah some dude who got banned from twitch alfredo pasta plus glazed plantains plus full chicken what a movie um that egg looking like about to be sacrificed having pe for first was a different kind of hurt holy smokes i almost forgot about that time ben shapiro tried to own dogs dogs can sniff out prostate cancer from urine samples is there anything they can't do build civilizations shapiro be going deep bro yikes my mum i gave all your old toys to your little cousin 20 year old me sad how could you do this straight white girls be like oh my god he's so dreamy and he looks like this yo it's that vic bucks i'm joking bro i'm joking you're scared to take a four year course because you're 28 and by the time you finish you'll be 32 whether you take the course or not in four years time you'll still be 32 so why not be 32 doing something you love talking facts baby talking facts i track my packages soon as i hit confirm payment your order has been pla [Music] i don't know what it is man but when you're waiting for a parcel or a package to arrive as an adult it's kind of like being a kid on christmas day i'd say it's like the equivalent you know many people have been using quarantine as a time to perfect their bread or coffee making skills but i personally have taken this as an opportunity to make increasingly unsettling eggs ho lee smokes man how is this creation even possible what powers do you need to yield to do this i really don't get this one how is the egg yellow bit bigger than the white this one probably tastes quite nice though like i definitely prefer the yellow bit to the white of the egg so much tastier man visiting facebook feels like visiting a dead mall in ohio at this point i hope zuckerberg doesn't see this tweet or he's gonna come at us with all that sun cream on his face i live with my girlfriend and we have two completely separate rooms and bathrooms we regularly have nights alone in our rooms normalize that stuff personal space is everything for a healthy relationship yeah like if you're with someone it doesn't necessarily mean you have to sleep with them every single night of the week you know especially if you've been playing fortnite until the early hours and you're like a sweaty greasy pig not many chicks gonna want to share a bed with that bro and that's fine and then this person comes out of nowhere and says 40 million people are at risk of eviction this fool christina now i look back at this tweet i guess it is kind of unintentionally a light flex the fact that they have two completely separate rooms and bathrooms just the bathrooms on the top as well you know like ah pretty sick cardi b responds to carol baskin speculating about animal abuse on what sets girl you killed your gosh damn husband i refuse to read the whole article this headline has everything i need next up the timeline has been blessed with fee froggy pictures bruh and i reply like the simp i am with this pick fainted i would like to seize this opportunity to thank you for helping me in my rough times by making funny videos and calling me a cutie and thanks for the new house you gave me in new york the other day i really appreciate it love inserts heart emoji no problem bro you know it's just part of the job pretty smooth you know thanks for saving the school bus from crashing the other day you saved so many kids lives i'm a busy man hey fainted thanks for paying for my new mercedes appreciate it bro also i will return your helicopter you let me borrow all right dude just make sure this time when you return my helicopter that it isn't fill up with gamer girl condoms that was kind of weird but uh you know you do you bro netflix is definitely convenient but blockbuster was an experience looking through all the aisles for a movie and picking up snacks while you were there what a time and not to mention hollywood videos that store was my childhood wow i must not be as old as i think because i don't even know what hollywood video is i don't recognize this one i used to work in a game crazy in my local hollywood video and i can still clearly recall what the inside of the store smelled like the intoxicating cologne of thousands of plastic vhs and dvd cases sometimes you just can't beat the classics you know what i mean yeah netflix is the new cool thing to do it's really easy you got everything on there for you but it's not the same it's not the same as going down and getting a fresh dvd next up this dude tweets out man with a couple screenshots from instagram oof so this is ad on instagram that says mail models wanted message us and say model sister does it and says model hey thanks for the message this is julie how are you today not that great actually awesome unfortunately we do not want to take you on as a model for our product you are not attractive that is so so rude the best bit is how julie asked this dude oh how's your day going and he's like not that great actually you know having a pretty bad day and then judy likes to top off by saying you're not attractive sorry buddy ouch you changed yeah i sweat through the other shirt chill out bro she's dating both of us you're my boyfriend-in-law that's one way to look it i don't typically post dms but i was really proud of this one so she gets a dm saying would you laugh at my tiny pp please do not send me a picture of your pp and of course he does and she says this is an automated message generated by the twitter team your image has been found to be a violation of 42 usc 2020. an image you sent has been scanned by our ai bots and was flagged as an unsolicited picture your account is scheduled to be reported to the police our bot is currently in beta testing sometimes it makes mistakes if you believe this message was an error reply help otherwise you'll be contacted by the local authorities within 24 hours help no frick you that's perfect man um guys you should probably copy this little text out here if anyone ever sends you an unsolicited peepee pic you know what to do me after i find out she loves food loves anime and loves fainted videos let's go i approve of this one i really do please god find me someone like her that's a mod they're not real no you freaking know i'm buying this fainted shut up and take my life savings and underneath it's got a picture of the what's up cutie's match yes this is the energy we love to see on the timeline if any of you haven't already heard yes i am dropping some incredible epic anime girl merch on the 30th of august seriously man you will look so swag wearing this stuff you guys don't buy v bucks this month by fainted much i just want to say a big thank you to the artists who i worked with together on this project and they did an absolutely amazing job on the design so um definitely show them some love and check out their artwork because it's awesome thinking about the time in college when a girl paid me fifty dollars to write an essay for her and i brought my campus laptop to a frat party and let everyone there write a different paragraph of the paper after playing edward forty hands she got a 12 percent i'd also like to give a psa for those saying i'm a douchebag but sometimes this is what you get when you wait until four hours before the due date to start a seven page minimum essay and then you ask an 18 year old freshman to do it for you because otherwise it's not going to get done i wasn't even in the damn class and hardly knew the girl she just lived in the same door okay um i don't know if this is unpopular opinion but dude if you're gonna take the fifty dollars like you should at least do a good job or at least try like if you got some kind of moral issue with doing someone else's essay then um maybe don't take the money and don't say you're going to do it to them because if you said no maybe they'd have actually done it themselves i don't know guys do you agree with me or do you think i'm a freak at jaden the freak happened to you i don't know bro that's it for the video bro click on the screen if you want to check out more epic funny tweets from the series and yeah i'll see you guys on the next one have an absolutely amazing day much love peace

Channel: Fainted

Views: 347,754

Rating: 4.9634843 out of 5

Keywords: how is twitter free, funny tweets, funny, tweets, how is twitter free? #90, fainted

Id: rVVmOQLKMJI

Length: 11min 51sec (711 seconds)

Published: Mon Aug 17 2020