FUNNIEST TEXTS EVER

bro i just watched avengers end game wanna know a spoiler okay but just one i saw your gf at the cinema with other guy wow that really is a spoiler hey what's up cuties my name's fainted and today we're gonna be taking a look at some funny text messages leave a like on the video right now for a slice of beef very epic hi are you still selling that mercedes car yeah can you send a photo bruh no i mean of the car i love you love you too more than zero two know your limits oh that's sad within a certain radius around a nuclear explosion all frozen pizzas in supermarkets will be perfectly cooked did you just explode a supermarket ah yeah this guy definitely got straight a stars in science class bro my computer is stuck in caps lock i don't know why though i press something and i can't get it off please help i'm on chromebook poor guy hello star wars fan here is hayden christensen from star wars i lost my credit card can you please send me some money i will come meet you together with george lucas and even mcgregor tomorrow um how can you prove me you're the real hayden christensen yep this is me hayden christensen wait can you prove me that you will come meet me with georgia dewan and then they send through this oh wow yeah that's definitely not a scam this is the greatest credit card scam i've seen since john wick asking for people's money to get out of tilted towers it's tiffany farting from eating too many peeps that's me the easter bunny did you get your card not yet still in eugene okay have a good day oh yeah i got some these what is these these nuts ugh i knew you're going to say that wow this person's mother just you can tell the disappointment from that text like did i really give birth to this kid dead dead gromit mug is dead just like me inside i've never seen so much pain in that little smiley face babe i have to tell you something i've cheated on you i cheated on you too april 1st january 27th oh man you just got caught in 4k chief hello hi i have an offer for you what surprise me i will send nudes um i don't want nudes wow a gentleman surprised yeah completely now said nudes really bruh so are we gonna talk about this talk about what you just tagged another friend and a meme and commented this is so us so how long has this been going for omg please don't do this you know what you are a friend nothing can uh spark jealousy more than seeing one of your homies tagging someone else in a facebook meme being like this is so us wow bro wow you ever think about us getting back together nah i don't want a chick who's been married before or has kids i was married to you and then your kids douchebag see too much bs i love you why should i trust you all the guys i have dated were dogs um well aren't you going to say anything um meow outstanding move dude i cracked my screen omg like the glass cover so it's not that bad look and he sends for a screenshot like bruh i don't think that's how it works man i'm gonna start going school from next week so i'm confused what to buy from these okay which one should i pick ah i see dark blue one what about these dark blue shoes will go with the bag so okay but i'm having a huge problem between these two okay what the heck well that conversation just went completely down a different direction i'm so ugly no no what no cap damn hey yo ain't you going on a date with that girl from algebra tomorrow yeah why bro look at what she posted on her private snap sos will someone have a fake b day dinner with me tomorrow night so i can get out of going on a date thanks oh man that hurts that really hurts like could she just text this guy and say yo sorry but i just don't really want to go on a date with you like damn come on guys bit of honesty would be nice what's harry potter's favorite way of getting down a hill uh i don't know how walking joke rolling please lose my number i wish i had a boyfriend who liked the same music as me you have a great taste of music haha don't you like tame impala so much i've seen him alive twice see this is what i mean i needed you who isn't you i like your profile pic i'm removing it i like your status i'm removing it i like your dress well played yo um want to go to starbucks and study soon and then she screenshots it and says help me reject this boy oh oh my gosh it's all right poor guy message to crush hey i finally gathered all my courage to say this so i'm just gonna say it i like you i like you a lot really are you kidding me oh um i'm sorry no wait i mean actually i've been liking you for a long time as well me oh my fbi agent so proud biker chicks i was your uber driver like three months ago please leave me alone you are the king hair king you dropped this if i ever see you litter again i'll break your fingers one by one whoa that was uh unexpected you don't wanna anime go catch a new littering guys damn son where'd you find this the pick isn't loading but i swear if it's the freaking bagel freak you sounds like this guy's been sending for a lot of bagel images [Music] i've been depressed lately because my grandma drowned ah i see sorry bro drowned in drip oh damn she flexing baby good look at that grill bro this guy really thought like his grandma was drowned and was like i'm so sorry bro but now she's just drowning in a drip baby looking icy that's a dub tristan check your mail tristan check your mail tristan check your mail um okay what's this we have here really now is time to come back with the milk home lol joke i'm still fighting for that bottle of milk with the old lady this war lasted for three years but i won't surrender your mom uh you're you're you're ugh i freaking hate it when people purposely use your instead of your it's quite aggravating you're ooh what the frick you're rude just got 10 pounds imma spend it on bobox mg what the frick i'm torn between whether this guy's going to spend 10 pounds on roblox or 10 pounds on botox which one is it guys this is discord we are anything we freaking want to be yay i can be an acceptable member of society um well almost anything yeah it's a bit of a stretch dude dab me up all right my man loneliness i accidentally changed my keyboard to arabic and it won't freaking change [Music] poor guy and look at the little emoji reaction as well la mao my cat died ah that must suck lol what must suck that your cat died i don't have a cat um it died thanks now time for me to go back to work good luck since he's busy i'll annoy you instead heck yeah oh you enjoy it i guess i'll stop annoying you talk to me freak you even bots hate me robert that's just sad can we get uh 10 likes to pay respects for this dude not even a bot wants to talk to him i see you have entered my palace did he bring the ego oh you did good let's start the ritual what kind of ritual is that bro homie's just sitting out on like an entire stack of pepsi boxes this is a level 100 boss you come across in a freaking veteran run on call of duty campaign if covert doesn't take you out can i um i'm vaccinated it was worth a shot whoa that threw me i'll throw you around too if you give me a chance you match with britney hey want to hear a super random story well i'll share the girl in most of your picks used to work with me and her name isn't britney so just out of curiosity why you catfishing chief got caught in 4k wow you're kind of cute um yo you are actually we've got some english geniuses in here bro when you get rejected and try to play off cool hey i've liked you for a while and i was just wondering if you'd like to go out with me um no sorry my cat ran across my keyboard works every time dude so when are we going to do this date um this week we can for sure want to go get a beer or something so classy oh sorry would the madam be available for tea by the freaking polo courts i will never tire of sending random messages like this to random numbers it's done from this moment forward we don't know each other sorry who is this very good okay uh how bad of a pickup line do you want like a good bad pickup line or a terribly awful one terribly awful hit me with the worst one you got i don't have any kids but if you want you can meet my future ones face to face oh it's april 9th you know what that means um no yeah um me neither frick yeah let's freaking go wake up quick very important dude i'm jacking off biss off mcwetus mcdonald's announces new healthy item a single piece of wet lettuce oh that is tasty baby mcdonald's really be out here with the revolutionary ideas bro hey girlie i've been following your profile for a while and i must say you are gorgeous one goal to another though some of the selfies you've posted are looking kind of different from the others all that foodie pose looks tasty as frick but not so tasty on the hips i can help you shed those extra 5 to 10 pounds and get you beach ready um what it happens to the best of us please circle where i need to lose weight you do mine and i'll do yours wow rude i thought i'd message you to help but you're just a douchebag i'm a busy mom i don't have time to live at the gym like you this is jessica's father you took my daughter's virginity sorry sir it won't happen again hey dr park this is matt from the baba booey vascular lab i have an outpatient here with an external iliac occlusion with cold foot pain and numbness that started three days ago what should i do with her hi this is hannah um i think you have the wrong number but i googled it and i'm pretty sure you need to put a stent in her left radial artery best of luck matt sorry wrong number hannah she ended up actually getting a stent took about three hours longer for trained medical professionals to figure out what took you three minutes great job yo you're hiring you know what dude i'm not sure who's working at the baba booby vascular lab because honestly how can you take three hours to figure out something that you can literally google search bro damn girl are you a construction worker because you are building um what thumbs up what is she building i don't really want to know are you a donkey owner what because you have dead ass question mark okay yep that is the thumbs up of like just pure sadness bro they really thought they'd hit them with like the level zero tinder pickup line it would actually work lx next time dude i'm worthless actually cornea thirty thousand dollars heart 130 000 liver ninety eight thousand dollars lung one hundred and fifty thousand dollars kidneys sixty two thousand dollars kidney pancreas a hundred and fifty thousand dollars damn time to harvest some organs uh i always knew i wasn't worthless just useless that's actually wild dude you just sacrifice your liver get a nice hundred bands or maybe if you really want to go next level sacrifice your lung for 150k so don't ever tell yourself you're worthless okay guys you're worth at least like four hundred thousand dollars my pants yeah okay thanks for that one some dude actually read this at 7 50 a.m i mean that is a message you do not want to be reading first thing in the morning dude my dad texts me to take out the trash every wednesday morning trash trash hey trash trash trash did you feed the cats dude that's when you know you have a loving father like some people's dads walk out to go get a bottle of milk okay and they never come back but this guy's dropping a text every single week with the trash that's when you know your dad loves you but seriously if you zoom out it almost looks like an xbox live message can you help me practice french today uh i'm sorry i have bull cancer i can't today you bro tell that to my boss victoria are you doing okay no i have bowl cancer oh wow that was very unfunny i have a new theory joe biden is a time lord yesterday joe biden said that commercial planes can fly at 21k miles per hour which is mach 14. if mach 5 can break the sound barrier maybe mach 14 can break the time barrier and maybe joe biden flew a plane at 21k mh accidentally and went back in time and became president to slowly drop clues about the future so he accidentally said that planes fly that fast um how high are you six foot one why nice good afternoon is this johnny my name is petty officer taha and i'm a special operations recruiter i got some information saying you were interested in joining the navy is that true tell me a joke if you can't see the number you join the air force join the army join the marines join the coast guard join the navy join the national guard oh no i'm gonna laugh can anyone actually see a number on that join the navy though for me it just looks like pretty much straight yellow but i guess that's the joke me and my friends are playing russian roulette with a glock i'm going first wish me luck hey yo this is harrison's friend yo wait no harrison dang i might just send all the females feedbacks can i cop yeah five dollars head six dollars i'll give fee pics and i'll babba boo your pee pee wait no damn bro that's cheap five dollars fee picks bro sign me up normally i have to pay egos like at least a thousand dollars for some feet picks dude i need a ride home put the hoe last night on this dating site called and now i'm stuck in her bedroom that's what happens when you use dirtbag websites like plenty of hoes i'm at my sisters all day so i can't help you bro i'm upstairs you start the engine oh no what the frick oh man the disrespect smashing your homie's sister like that ouch this guy asked my very illegible friend out after they just met he didn't like that she proposed a different cafe option so now he's dateless and material for my twitter feed okay let's check these texts out the kind of girl i'm looking for would say yes great see you there to my offer she would then show up on time we would have a drink there then if the vibe was good walk to my place hooked up and potentially have something good together on the regular basis any other response to me shows either low interest slash respect or a bossy tendency to be masculine bossy potential for future power struggles etc i like my girls to be feminine submissive cooperating happy for the opportunities i create yep it's for the best the kind of guy i'm looking for would say remarkably less sociopathic things lol good luck well produced guy must have really liked the cafe he wanted to go to dude how dare you propose another cafe me knows how to speak sign language to deaf people also me yo you still down for lunch at one dude i'm deaf remember oh shoot yep see you then bad drawing but it has the baby in it so 10 out of 10. get this guy signed up for an art scholarship at harvard oh my gosh me telling my gf how much snow we are getting tonight five to eight inches tonight ready for you baby uh i think she might be um thinking about something else don't bring pop tarts home tomorrow okay can you get me pop-tarts are you sure wow dude that would actually really annoy me if someone texted me that what's happened in those 20 hours to change this person's mind on um getting some pop-tarts i wonder um i'm not really sure this image is but okay hey oh you seem tired how was your day oh i see you've had a rough day i'm sorry you had to feel that way but i'll make you feel a bit better well i'm not sure if it'll work here lay down on my lap pat slap of course you can i give you permission now rest sleep drift off forget about your day i'll take care of you i promise what the heck so we have a message from october 11th 2013. hey january 14th 2018. hey sorry my phone died wait so your phone died for five years wow you definitely have an android don't you chief i'm joking and it's funny because the person hit them with their hey like you know when you see that many why's this person's like probably interested in you or whatever and in five years down the line they finally get that reply back this dude might be dead by now anyways guys that's it for the video i hope you enjoyed click on the screen to check out more and yeah i'll see you on the next one much love peace

Channel: Fainted

Views: 2,094,045

Rating: 4.9387512 out of 5

Keywords: funny text messages, funniest text messages, funny, texts, chats, messages, text messages, funny texts, funniest texts, funny chats, text fails, best texts, fails, memes, fainted

Id: Ct2oS-GIXb8

Length: 20min 6sec (1206 seconds)

Published: Wed Apr 28 2021