How is Twitter free? #88

oh you're with that dude now all right check this out government wants to open schools up when there's kids that cough like this hey what's up cuties my name is fainted and welcome back to howard's twitter free the series where we take a look at the funniest tweets from all across twitter.com and guys i have some sad news since we hit 1 million subscribers my sub growth has just plummeted so yeah i need to come up with a new strategy to beg for subs and i think i found it instead of having this queen saying subscribe to fainted at the start of every single one of my videos i actually want you guys to do it instead just record a video of yourself saying subscribe to fainted make it funny make it original do whatever something crazy upload it to youtube with the title fainted is my overlord and yeah i'll choose a different one for every single new video that comes out bro [Music] you want a glass of pilk uh um what's what's pilk oh pepsi and milk mixed together gimme gimme if you have a throw party you know what to be serving the guests i gave a little kid some frozen yogurt today at work and his mum says okay what do you say and he looks me dead in the eyes and says i love you dude that yoghurt must have just tasted unreal or should i say yogurt breaking president trump says he will ban the tick tock app in the united states as early as tomorrow if you tick-tock famous and sad about the news tomorrow here's a thread for you indeed.com snagajob.com simply hired.com you better start looking for a job bruh those little tick-tock dances ain't about it anymore chief you ain't gonna be thrown it back for a check no more buddy sorry seriously um i feel sorry for those kids who like dropped out of school because they're like mom i'm gonna be a famous tick-tocker and then uh two weeks later trump's like nah close it down bro that's really awkward and speaking of tick-tock this person posts a few screenshots saying i'm crying so hard can you guys fill the comments with what gen z lawyers would say please and then a bunch of kids on tick tock did actually fill up the comments saying stuff like this okay and what do you want me to do about it no your honor but i frick with you for trying it was the lack of effort in hiding the body for me you'll hear some because i don't there's no evidence for that but go off i guess it's the judge for me your honor that's cap sorry she's a scorpio this you if you saw my client committing a crime no you didn't that'd be crazy man you're sitting in a court of law someone's just been accused of murder and then the lawyer pulls up and he says your honor let's cap these two bullets collided in the battle of gallipoli in 1915 the chances of this happening are one in a billion names something more unlikely to happen free bullets colliding absolutely infuriated by how large pizza grows if it's not properly harvested hmm well this is something they don't teach you in school you got to harvest these bad boys to make them into like the little small bite-sized ones we eat because without it'd just be kind of awkward bro like you can't be delivering your pizza that fat shark that killed new york city woman confirmed this great white and it's still out there was it supposed to turn itself in he keeps texting me saying busy with god what does this fish have that i don't next up this dude posts free selfies captioned being old-fashioned is foreign nowadays and um this is the first picture which is quite confusing this is the second picture very handsome and this is the third yo that swag bruh the first pick confused the freak out of me the mao take a long hard look at this image and try and decipher what's actually going on his body was just like eyepiece i'm heading out do you think people in 1920 were like man i miss 1916. from what i've heard i think they roared mostly landlords really don't deserve rights message from landlords saying hi just check this is amounts that arrived 736.64 plus 229.992 equals 2946.56 but the rent is 2946.67 success your payment of 0.11 to d patel has been made so yeah basically her landlord was getting angry about 11 pence out of three racks with all due respect what if everyone misses 11 pence off it mounts up in the end you wouldn't expect to pay 11p less for a coffee or a dress so why the house you live in mr patel's not going to shag you mate congratulate your friends no matter how big or small the achievement is small small well done or i'm proud of you can impact them a lot remember in high school teachers would be like your college professors will not tolerate this kind of behavior well here's four screenshots of examples which say otherwise dear professor i had some technical difficulties and outside distractions during the test today something hit my computer and caused it to submit the test when i had less than half of the questions answered by something i mean a meatball had tragically fallen onto my keyboard as i was taking the exam this said meatball caused some malfunctions with my laptop and caused the test to submit itself while i have yet to comprehend how the sequence of events even occurred i have provided you some primary evidence of the event occurring i know that you dropped the lowest module test grade but i just wanted to let you know that this grade was an accident and i have been working very hard with the course material i completely understand that a fooling meatball is no excuse for the failing grade on this exam but is there any possibility of retaking this test and an attached to the email is this snapchat image saying i'm not kidding i'm sitting here eating a meatball sub taking my econ test a meatball falls onto my keyboard and exits out of the test yeah some pretty undeniable evidence right there 39.17 this is a freaking joke but guess what the uh professor actually replied and it worked samantha well this is certainly a new and unusual excuse for a low score for that reason it seems unlikely you've made this up i've extended your deadline for the module 6 test until midnight tonight you should be able to go back to your test and finish it if not let me know you can of course decide to drop this one as your low score up to you and i'd recommend you take the test either before or after dinner smiley face but remember guys that ain't gonna fly in college absolutely disproven by a person who literally fails a test because apparently they drop the meatball onto their laptop excuses like that work in college don't let your high school teachers tell you otherwise this is where i draw the line breaking news the first dog in the u.s to test positive for covert 19 has died buddy the first dog in the u.s to test positive for covert 19 passed on july 11th according to national geographic the german shepherd tested positive in early june right that's it i'm taking shots i still scream at the fact that i did a full body shave at the age of 13 to go see one direction as if i was gonna get railed backstage thesis analysis graduation thesis history repeating itself i can't really read what's going on but my boy's got the trip analysis the evolutionary importance of 2d ppiography yeah i'm not sure i can read this one out to be honest but holy smokes my boy has the most fire outfit i've ever seen i'm not even cabin bro we need to see more of this in the um educational curriculum bro i never got to experience this in school and i'm honestly crying right now anyone who stands up in front of a whole class and does a thesis analysis presentation about the evolutionary importance of 2d um anime girls be looking cute and stuff yeah bro i just i respect it big time we need more of this guys screw y equals m c squared x plus two let's talk about the anime girls i am in tears which one of you hurt this man okay so this dude messaged her on snapchat and he wasn't too happy this is why guys won't get married anymore you just can't even heat up a donut for heck's sake but this lack of skill translates to other things and if you're gonna screenshot this at least do the whole conversation you say it's just a donut then it's just thanksgiving dinner then it's he's just a friend then it's i just let him me once it starts with the doughnut figure at the f out you cannot be serious i'm dead serious how has this guy gone from talking about a donut to his girl cheating on him i'm so broke i think you're reading into that a little bit too far like if a chick can't somehow cook up a doughnut properly it probably doesn't necessarily correlate with her cheating on you maybe i'm wrong with what you reckon [ __ ] it cat walking [Music] i love how the other cat in the background's just peeping like what the frick is this dude doing he's too powerful huh i actually think ratatouille is a boring movie me shakes head at waiter bringing the engagement ring yeah she's just not wife material when that happens no shade if this is your thing but nightclub culture is so cringe to me paying one thousand dollars for a table just to attempt to get drunk off one bottle of grey goose between six people while listening to top 40 spun by a random dj just no i'm sorry man but i gotta completely agree with this quite frankly clubs consist of like three things number one awful music and extremely loud secondly 35 year old gym lads men trying to scrap you out and they're like all sweaty and you'd be on the dance floor just minding your own business and because their ex-wife deborah recently broke up with them and took the kids they'd be trying to start a scrap like they'd literally go out clubbing just to start fight with people and then finally um what's the other one oh yeah really overpriced drinks like you can't find anywhere else on planet earth where you have to pay that much for drinks bro clubs of purple no snapchat i don't want to see the memories from the last time i was truly happy it really burns deep this one i don't want to see her face and how happy i was of her all i can do now is just wish i could spend one more day with her she wasn't the source of your happiness bro you are the source of your happiness she was just an ark in your anime who controls the memes controls the [Music] universe [Music] anyways guys that's it for this episode of how's twitter free really hope you did enjoy and of course tag me in funny tweets at fainted sad if you want to see something in the next episode anyways yeah i'll see you next one have an absolutely amazing day myself [Music] peace

Channel: Fainted

Views: 432,158

Rating: 4.9738188 out of 5

Keywords: how is twitter free, funny tweets, funny, tweets, how is twitter free? #88, fainted

Id: gH3WoM6lyDs

Length: 12min 20sec (740 seconds)

Published: Mon Aug 03 2020

Reddit Comments

[u/MemeSick4Ever]

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[u/MiniLillyxx]

Upvoted! Please upvote my last 20 posts and I promise to do the same for you 🤍 Thank you so much 🙏

[u/907sig]

Upvoted

[u/tutorpewter]

how ya doin'......I have upvoted.....Please upvote my comment too. Thanks!!