How is Twitter free? #87

she took a shower and her snapchat school went up by 50. ouch how's it going cuties pewdiepie here and welcome to how's twitter free the series where we take a look at the funniest tweets from all across twitter.com little kids staring at you in restaurants it's too accurate man jeff bezos take my credit card go buy me a coke and get yourself something nice too me can of coke and oh an extremely expensive and large mansion yeah just on the side you know cnn said the world is 217 trillion dollars in debt who the freak we owe thanos i'll be the first youtuber to admit it i shoot loads on my 100k subscriber plaque when i'm really in the mood we all do it secretly he's right i personally think cinderella should have lived a happy life with all her animal friends rather than settle for a man who had a try on a shoe because he didn't recognize her without makeup friendly reminder that fiona chose a literal ogre over a short guy [Music] pain 2001 versus 2020 okay so in 2001 this billboard said say hello to ipod 1 000 songs in your pocket fast forward uh 19 years and it says 60 million songs on your wrist it's actually kind of scary how fast we're progressing as a species who knows where we'll be in the next 20 years boys but i'm probably finna be dead so uh make sure you floss in the chat when i die my man looking like the chief of police in lazytown wow i wonder how much hairspray went into making this like a possibility incredible my uber driver making sure i get that ac in the back about to stick something else inside there i really hope this dude's talking about his head or maybe like his elbow or something please please don't put your pee pee down there bruh it's definitely time sisters gf messages him saying haven't ate in five days your ps5 comes first wedding rings in google search yes do it a woman like this just uh anyone like this actually who's willing to not eat five days to get your ps5 needs to be loved needs to be cherished needs to be secured cheat on her to test her dedication [Music] no just got my own house at only 18. hey mom i'm going to live by myself great your bags are on the driveway it's like sorry mom that's my crib now no one kickballs that have been stuck in the middle school gym ceiling since 2011. bruh [ __ ] posts a video saying tattooing my girl all quarantined long since i can't tattoo the public done in two days update i am single poor guy marine biologists be like wow this guy actually did a pretty good job of staying underwater sitting on that chair it's quite hard like when you're underwater not to start floating up good stuff bro breaking tom holland depart spiderman role following in the news of his first child i love the role of spider-man but nikki needs me she's going to be a wonderful mother and i want to be the husband she on the second imagine how iconic that would be that if tom holland and nicki minaj actually had a child together be like so unexpected that time i spilled red wine on my new white pants and my friends were taking a pic because i notoriously always spilled drinks and they told me not to buy the pants but bella hadid thought we were trying to take a pic of her bruh [Music] man this is why it would just suck so badly to be a celebrity i feel like you just couldn't go anywhere in public and enjoy it without the kind of feeling that people are looking at you or maybe trying to take a picture of you or whatever like clearly in this instance uh the people at the restaurant who spilled all the juice were like not even trying to take a picture of bella hadid yeah she's sitting there like oh my god dude someone trying to take a take a snap of me this is the perhaps and like that's that's the mindset you live in when you're a public figure like that and i think that really sucks like i always think for example with pewdiepie if he was just like walk down the street one day he's gonna have so many people just running up to him treating him like a little zoo animal yo beauty beauty can i can i get a picture dude 12-yard army or is it 11 year old i don't know um okay next up we have a couple of images uncaptioned uh-oh google search how much sperm is in the ocean the average blue whale produces over 400 gallons of sperm when it ejaculates but only 10 of that actually makes it into its mate so 360 gallons are spilled into the ocean every time one unloads and you wonder why the ocean is so salty and we got this youtube video badlands chugs one gallon of thick water and then the ocean two mil subscriber special oh bruh just think about all the whale sperm my boy be consuming right now y'all got fancy free monitor setups led lights three thousand dollar pcs and zero [ __ ] [Music] guys this uh this kind of hurts is anyone else feeling this pain right now six thousand dollar setups lots of rgb one monitor more cash than you could ever spend own house owned company i'm 17. i have more respect for women so won't address them as brass but i'm happy single thanks he's too powerful teen earns all 138 boy scout merit badges maybe he should earn some branches what would you prefer though guys having lots of branches or 138 boy scout merit badges i know exactly which one i'm choosing then bear just be swag i can't believe we stayed up and screamed happy new year for this [ __ ] yeah everyone was there on like the end of 2019 being like oh let's celebrate happy new year guys this is gonna be awesome no it has been pain this has been the worst day of my life by far guys anyone else agree probably next up with a video of leonardo dicaprio captioned he's so great in acting he intimidates me why does film twitter always act surprised when a multi-million dollar actor is good at acting was this really necessary jimmy from linkedin sister jimmy on linkedin messages are saying hello candice thanks for accepting me here i welcome your friendship jimmy and then sends a pretty peculiar voice message hello candice how are you doing and good morning how have you been hey candace this is me jimmy from linkedin and the reason i was giving you this quick voice message call was to say thank you so kindly i really appreciate it that you have accepted me here on the linkedin flank platform what we will do is learn from each other i appreciate your kindness jimmy from linkedin hey candace this is me jimmy from linkedin jimmy's on linkedin and he thinks he's sending like an xbox live voice message bro what a beast jimmy the next day when people show him the video at work i've been catching you in 4k bro thanks dad you tweet too much all those followers but no girlfriend sad and guess another text from his dad hey erase that right now it'd be a bit awkward if your dad actually follows you on twitter though want to apologize to anybody who i've ever been toxic to in game some players are so damn mean and i get xdddd even if i pretend i don't i've used success as a rebuttal to rude slash comments in game don't ever want to stoop down to that level again i'm guilty i'm sorry i also want to apologize to everyone i verbally destroyed in a mw2 or halo 3 lobby if it makes you feel better i never did anything with your mom i waited three months for this to come in the mail [Music] i'm far less attracted to you now ouch dude i'm so confused like i didn't realize there was actually anything more attractive to a female than a guy who gets dressed up in an iron man suit like come on ladies can you agree with me here there's nothing better than this you see your man walk into the crib wearing this kind of outfit and you think oh my god what a babe next up we have a video captioned the coolest amazon driver you'll ever meet and we get to take a look at the adventures of an amazon worker yeah girl i'm so tired of this dumbass job bro these [ __ ] just be ordering any and every [ __ ] thing like what the f did you need to buy this heavy ass [ __ ] table for bruh i gotta carry that [ __ ] up three flights instead and then someone leaves him special instructions for like a drop off saying if possible pretty please ring the doorbell and say happy birthday geo oh yeah i got something special for they ass they finna get a whole song [ __ ] happy birthday geo happy birthday happy birthday go hey happy birthday bro i gotta go [Music] i feel like if jeff bezos saw this video he'd be fuming and then later on the dude who posted this video captions the tweet saying got fired sad face ah i guess that's why you got to be careful of what you post online if it's to do with like your job and stuff oh big bezos saw it when she fall asleep while sexting be the worst you like i can't wait to fill you up she replied the next day like hi females trip once and wear these rest of the school year anyways guys that's it for this episode of house twitter free really hope you enjoyed and uh if you want to check out more just click on the screen have an absolutely epic bra moment of the day and uh i'll see you on the next one much love [Music] peace [Music] you

Channel: Fainted

Views: 463,104

Rating: 4.9661903 out of 5

Keywords: how is twitter free, funny tweets, funny, tweets, how is twitter free? #87, fainted

Id: uIHYYMrBK_o

Length: 11min 16sec (676 seconds)

Published: Mon Jul 27 2020