How is Twitter free? #79

ten year old me on my k/d customizing shoes i was never going to buy I was up cuties my name is fainted and welcome to how is Twitter free if you're new here please subscribe we trying to get one mil subs bruh I came knowing cares let's get into the video history students in 2040 highlighting the important stuff in the chapter about 2020 yeah sorry guys it's just gonna highlight the entire book because 2020 was that wild my kid had a sleepover and in the morning I offered to make waffles but the friends said that they couldn't eat gluten or sugar or dairy so I offered scrambled eggs and this kid goes do you have duck eggs I'm sorry child this is not Scotland 1745 it's my house Dumbledore the first rule is that first years can't have brooms Harry I want one no Dumbledore Lamar okay fair the second rule is that no rules applied to Harry tell me a story about yourself that sounds like a lie but it's absolutely true I handed a CV into dominoes when I was 16 and as I was walking out I got ran over by a car and everyone inside saw that's painful my mum has put an onion in the corner of every room in the house because whatsapp advised her to this is the peak of the whatsapp mother's cult I'm unable to can Wow that house is gonna be smelling pretty interesting my son got the spider-man costume he's been wanting forever today I held him up in various positions and in Photoshop myself outs turned out pretty good [Music] I'm a forensic image analysis and I have been studying this image for 20 minutes and have concluded there is no manipulation here your son is spider-man and then Sony of all people reply with like their little moon eyes emoji like what's up yo that's pretty cool right sup copyright lawsuit I've ordered the same Subway sandwich since 2006 brah say I ain't loyal nope you're right you loyal thanks G see you soon Ivan there's any other social media app where you can have these kind of conversations with like huge companies just so casually I love it I think I won this trade okay so this guy has these sneakers for sale at $300 this guy Gustavo misters him saying I this is still available yes will you trade for a full breed German Shepherd female seriously man who would trade such a cute dog for a shoe I bro why yeah this guy definitely did win the trade by a longshot bro I mean unless his dog has some kind of underlying condition where Hasek a pooping problem maybe something that this guys aren't telling him about this dudes taking the dub the slight rocking up to Pokemon club back in school with a shiny Charizard and I'm walking away of a Pidgey I imagine when the dog finds out that he was traded for a shoe and how's this guy even agreed to do this like a little flex pick at the end to be like yo check out the trade Scott's finessed you finessed yourself these aren't even epic Yeezys bro why would you want to capture that moment bro we're gonna do send the Flex pick to let your girlfriend or your mom or something you'd be like hey Luke I just traded my dog for a shoe and even if this was like one of those epic Yeezy hype shoes that is like worth 50 grand I still wouldn't trade that for a life bro that is a a dog right there it needs to be respected and loved not trade it for a smelly shoe dude it's 2017 a party I forgot busted so I put on pajamas sprayed axe in my mouth to cover up alcohol and hopped in bed when the cops knocked on my door I pretended like I've been trying to sleep and party was friend without my consent to our free roommates got a citation guess who didn't both you've been hit by you've been struck by a smooth criminal Adele has to give our ex-husband a hundred and forty million to settle the divorce all of a sudden these pictures make so much sense [Music] a hundred and forty million pounds just because somebody splits up with you Wow I can see why it that was out here like this bro this is her realizing the fact that her man's finna drop all this cash on only fans and maybe I don't her a little bit of roebucks on the side I like to so good at school today and not one single man bumped into me made me drop all my books help me pick them up accidentally reach for the same book I was grabbing touched my hand laughed and looked in my eyes instantly fell in love with me asked for my hand in I mean yeah kind of sucks all the cool stuff that happens in these high school movies and when you actually go there in real life no never happens like where was Troy Bolton in my school experience bro nowhere is that it was just a badger game stuck in the bin every week I miss outside as if my brothers went to Thailand and got a tattoo of himself on his back wait you gotta be kidding me right did he's just himself as in like an image no work in progress boys wild man oh no you know I've seen a lot of weird tattoos in my time but I've never known anybody to get themself tattooed in such a large area of their body I always have to respect that bro and I absolutely love how the tattoo artists just like yo I just did this bro that's some good work there man when I was a kid my sister told me that the paper strips that's in the chocolate kisses were edible and I ate them with the chocolate for like a year they are wait for real why would you believe in this again baited twice bro my go brought me home drunk last night and my mom forgot she dyed her hair sister's mom takes some saying who was that white girl that just went down them steps get her out of here now before I lose it on you I know you see me calling you you need to go back wherever you came from I'm tired of you disrespecting his house disrespecting us and you disrespecting the Senate no how how and if you want to mess around leave her alone and I'll be telling her about the girl now I'm asking you one more time to get her out of here oh my goodness I will be telling her you just mistake there for a white girl I'm crying right now oh I felt so stupid when I seen her car I forgot she dyed her hair sorry Louise mom says like this ain't no ho house like mom it's my GF chill the unspoken group dynamic when all your friends are in an uber on your way to the club and the people in the backseat are lit dancing and scream talking and the person in the front seat is the group's PR person and talks to the driver and just keeps saying I'm sorry for that please excuse them in the back me after guessing the password of my own email incorrect password incorrect password change password new password can't be the same as current password login successful hacker man I can relate this one bro you'll be sitting there for 25 minutes trying to guess the password for your PPI premium account and then the next thing you know when you did a forgot password and you try and enter in a new one it's like I'm sorry dude but you can't use your current password it's your new password and it's like on the second eye I've literally been trying to use that exact passive for the last 25 minutes I don't I don't get it it shouldn't be possible by sweater sometimes happens generation Z will throw the tear gas back the National Guard's but be nervous to ask a girl to prom this is the best thing I've ever done so scout post onto our story saying made an only fans long link below and I've got these dudes who got baited into it next up we have a really funny story time that I came across and I think you're all gonna enjoy this as a public service in these stressful times I'd like to offer as a palate cleanser the most embarrassing moment of my life Tenace years ago my ex-boyfriend and I visited a spa in Germany it's swimsuits in the pool but you have to be naked in the sauna by the way I speak no German boyfriend and I agreed to me in the cafe I get undressed grab a little towel and go after the sauna there are two unmarked doors at the end of the corridor I take a guess and go through the one on the left it's not the door to the sauna it's the fire escape the door locks behind me I am trapped inside the fire escape in the NIP it's two stories dark grim noisy because of huge fans I bang on the fire escape door until I actually hurt myself nothing yell for help nothing fully crying I run downstairs trying to work out which part of me I should cover with the little towel my face a single buttock bang on the second floor doors for 10 minutes yell some more nothing on the ground floor there's an unlocked door jackpot but no it's a terrifying machine room with massive fans and pumps and electrocution symbols and everything friends there's nothing quite like running naked and crying around an industrial machine room I spot a service lift Wow [ __ ] fear I run into the lift covering each boob in turn mashing the buttons I go up and down in the lift a few times the security camera in the lift torn between I don't want anyone to see this and I really really want someone to see this and rescue me I moved a little towel between strategic areas while sobbing and waving at the camera after a few rides up and down there's a German loudspeaker announcement and I just know it's about me like the maked girl in the fire-escape lift please stop mashing the buttons or whatever but I can't understand it so just cry louder and gesture at the camera eventually the lift doors open a spar employee stands there he's the most dressed man to ever be wearing clothes he has brought no towel for me he says something in German I cry he sais ways for me to follow him I go after him switching around this washcloth apparently the only way out the fire escape is to fully leave the building so I'm carrying on the edge of the pavement hysterical and he points around the corner the only way back in is along the street through reception where people are queuing out the building I now have an out-of-body experience a shame blackouts I've reached my max I go fully for embarrassment and out the other side time slows down I can hear the music of the spheres I stop crying drop the washcloth shoulders back head high follow him along the street past people parking their cars standing in line with their families people say things points I cannot hear them I am transcendent with shame untouchable reception is busy so busy he has to yell at people to make way so I can get rid of crowd the guy explains I'm guessing the city that a receptionist this takes actual minutes an old lady gives me her pool floats is shaped like a lobster the claw rests on my boobs the receptionist asked me for ID I am wearing only a lobster we're friends where would I be keeping my freaking ID receptionist sighs and lets me through the turnstile ten minutes later when I run sobbing into a towel and find my boyfriend in the cafe he has the audacity to be grumpy because he's been waiting for an hour Finn Mead oh oh my goodness me I can't believe I've just read that but I think the bit that makes us all that much worse is the fact that her boyfriend's just like babe where have you been for the last hour like he must have got absolutely destroyed for saying that same energy [Music] it's hard to decide which one of these two is more scary but I think I'm gonna go for the cat hey that's it for this episode of house 2 it's free every hope you did enjoy and yeah click on the screen if you wanna check out another one and of course please do subscribe because we're trying to get at that Millie thank you so much for watching and I'll see on the next one I don't have the amazing day much love peace

Channel: Fainted

Views: 832,246

Rating: 4.9388323 out of 5

Keywords: how is twitter free, funny tweets, funny, tweets, how is twitter free? #79, fainted

Id: 1HL1vvEAb9s

Length: 13min 14sec (794 seconds)

Published: Sun Jun 07 2020