Episode 151 - Cody Flirts with Death

what's up guys welcome to the tmg podcast this is actually today's episode today's free episode but if you want uh the bonus episode that went up today as well you can find that on our patreon that's patreon.com tinymeatgang and uh the free episode will be ad free as well on there so uh and if not thanks and enjoy this one peace peace hello i think i i think i almost died last night really yeah how actually okay i want to know if anyone is if anyone knows anything about electricity about wattage about amps about joules i don't know what other uh units electricity is measured in oh um uh uh amber and i already said amp and pin watts um fucking um vibes yeah vibes that's a fan of electricity yeah yeah like sort of chemistry like the electricity you're giving me it's like the vibes mm-hmm so yeah you almost die though so i i was um i was in bed and i was wearing my necklace okay and i took it off and i dropped it and it landed on top of my power bar that like my uh phone charger is plugged into okay and i think one of the ends went in one of the holes and the other end was touching another like the other side of of the phone charger or something like that because when i picked it up it blew up like a fucking giant spark it exploded pretty much and i like fell back i think if i was touching the ground maybe i would have like died because i was on my bed so i wasn't grounded i like i'm just honestly just trying to trying to uh you know um like collect my seventh grade uh knowledge about electricity and circuits and stuff like that yeah so any scientists in the chat let us know if cody almost died um and then afterwards i look down i look at my necklace and it's blown in half the phone charger is all black on it i feel like i almost died i mean you definitely yeah yeah yeah that's um that's easily like you know you could put that like in a song or something you think i'm saying like yeah yeah like like dwp came to get me i'm saying like dwp just tried to kill you bro like we what we should do is stop this podcast and realize and figure out how we're going to get them back because not only did they fucking snatch your chain but they almost killed you are we beefing now with dwp or b with dwp ddwp snatch my boy's chain that's what they that's what they did they didn't even snatch it they just blew it up they blew up my voice which is even worse of a move could you imagine just ruining someone's jewelry not even stealing it yeah i mean how how could you like i look i i always look at you know rappers and they have like crazy chains like that and i just think man it takes a certain level of not give a fuck to just have that in a restaurant and just even eat like spaghetti or something yeah you know and yeah to not have like a bodyguard around you at all times that and just to not care it's like oh a little hot dog grease whatever on oops on my hundred thousand dollar chain yeah oh oh just wearing a mortgage oops just wearing a down payment for a house so yeah oh that's somebody's whole salary that'd be a hard ass chain a chain with a pendant that says down payment yeah or your salary or your salary your rent so mean that's great just like specialized chains per interview like hey man i went and got this chain for you and it says like academics rent it's like what like yeah i talk to conflicts i figure out how much money you make yeah i put it right here just so you could know i talk to complex and then i talked to your landlord yeah figured out what your annual rent would be this isn't monthly this is annual we're talking 12 months your annual rent and annual rent here's the thing though bro it's so it was so small that i couldn't spell out your annual so i had to upgrade to your your 10-year rent period you don't even like pay enough rent to give me a chain do you understand how rich i am this is actually i so i actually calculated what this would be in 10 years if you deposited now and compounded 5 interest over 10 years this is what your salary this is what your salary now is going is going to be when you're 50 years old could you just sit in there like oh so um yeah the new album has the baby on it and oh wow that's like all 10 years really right there right there in your neck yep yep 10 years of salary all invested damn so literally that this is also if you don't even spend any so you can't go on vacation oh oh wow yeah so that's so cool man um so yeah track three you got halsey that's like um yeah halsey yeah yeah that's the track called health insurance because we have it oh a ton of it way more than i can use you got a chain that covers my copay because that would really hurt me i mean bro that's i mean that's like not what not to bring up last week but that's what i said on stream about fucking after i got my eye exam yeah i like got done and i'm like i feel better and then it cost me half a playstation and i was like what the fuck is this oh did it yeah it was like 300 bucks just to get my what yeah it was crazy jesus christ i mean like i don't you know i think uh i think it's because i don't ever really have like good eye coverage because i mean i don't think i have any and mine is like 150 or something dude i'm doing this next time we go on tour people going to be like trying to infect our eyes and shit just a uv laser light oh what's up boys a laser a laser pointer all the way from the back row yeah i just blinded them on stage and you meant like in the meet and greets people are going to be trying to too yeah yo what's up good to meet you cool good to meet you a kid has an eye patch and he lifts it up and it's just like a fucking uv laser gun underneath that shit he's like surprised bro wait speaking of health insurance i don't know what reminded me i don't think we talked about this last week but i watched the shia labeouf movie my guy my guy oh my god tax collector cinematic masterpiece oh cinematic masterpiece you don't even know how a movie could be that bad with that much money you have no clue it's absolutely insane and here's the thing if you hadn't if you i didn't tell the other people that we were watching it with that i had already gotten a review from someone right i was just like i want to see this and i want to see if they think it's as bad right like i want them to remain unbiased and i'm going to judge this for myself right right all of us within like 10 minutes they were like this kind of fucking sucks dude i'm surprised you guys are nice you gave it 10 minutes uh we watched the whole thing no but no what i mean is like you at 10 min roughly what felt like 10 minutes and you you were like yeah this is kind of ass it was like it was probably in the moment where they were driving they were driving back from the first scene right so it's child abuse and other guys we're going full spoilers you haven't seen tax collector by now don't pause it go watch it and come back yeah or just don't just don't see it yeah it's a giant fucking waste of time dude dude actually so funny to listen to a movie review podcast and you never watch a single movie but you talk to people like you have all these opinions about film yeah yeah yeah yeah the director didn't really do a good job with that oh what made you feel that way some podcasts yeah i didn't see the movie also i never watched it i actually don't watch movies anymore i just i just vicariously know about them to other people it's great so anyway yeah so the first um uh what is the first scene is it the very first scene he like wakes up and then they have the birthday party wait that's the first scene isn't it i meant i meant the one where he goes and opens the office and that girl is in there sleeping get the fuck up that's the first scene is it not no because because he wakes up and then um they have they're having the birthday party and then he has to go you know he does the whole like i got i got to go to work and they're they're making it seem like it's like this is his nine to five right right right sonny gets up and he goes down to the auto shop yeah bro yells at some people yeah and then tax collector shows up and then they they like threaten that guy dude what was that fucking like uplifting death monologue like they had all that music playing while he was like talking to that guy you know he's like he's like i'll fucking i'll come for this and i'll come for that and they do you know you remember what i'm talking about yeah i think so yeah it's like why labouff is giving his first monologue yeah and you're like but it i see at that point even then it's like okay i'm still gonna give this a chance maybe this guy is actually a hard ass this is a little bit weird that he's like doing a mexican like accent like but maybe i'll give it a shot maybe like but here's the thing is he supposed to be mexican yes so he's supposed to be he's playing a mexican guy well latino i don't know what what like you know yeah he's supposed to be yeah anyway yeah it was just we it was just like pretty racist wasn't it i mean he's in the fucking car on the on the way home and he's like he's like what does he say about the he's like on a diet he's like i mean good and shit yeah i was like i was like yeah dude what like why wouldn't oh my god bro i was i was dying laughing because i'm like who is this director who is this and of course it's not you know it's not like a latino of any kind you know it's just like what is it not no okay david ire yeah dude the best part about it is that shia plays this tough guy the whole time he's bro the tax collector right for anyone that hasn't seen it he's like the guy that's supposed to be the muscle he's like the one that's threatening everyone everyone's scared of him he's supposed to be the fucking hard ass yeah and at the beginning at the very beginning he threatens this guy and it's like kind of scary but then the rest of the movie he never does anything bro you never get to see him use his weapon or punch anyone or do anything dude and then he dies he fucking dies what a waste what a waste of a casting you know what i'm saying like oh yeah dude they pissed me off bro i saw him getting like getting tortured and getting killed and i was like what yeah it's just like out of nowhere you have one of the best actors i mean one of the one of the most sought-after actors at least right now in hollywood in your movie and that's what you're going to do with them oh dude well here's what's funny though so the guy so the guy directed it he wrote uh the fast and furious the original no way and i'm laughing at this wikipedia shit cause on his wikipedia it says director and it's in bright red it goes no oh yeah i forgot you can see this yeah but oh yeah wait wait wait wait yeah you could yeah oh yeah yeah yeah this is no but tax collector is the first one he's not the first one but he directed wrote and produced and so clearly our guy is not a director or a producer maybe just a writer but even then dude i'm like what he did uh he did uh wait go down he did fury sabotage suicide squad it's kind of cool yeah he wrote that and he directed it well 2016 suicide squad um like he's made good movies before how does this one go so wrong bro i like oh my god where do i even start where do i even start first of all did you see what i meant by the editing how like they took the scenes and like they did weird like three second advancements and all the cuts so you're like i was i was watching for that but i didn't pick it up okay it seemed pretty natural to me i don't know the first like moment when he wakes up from the dream and stuff i'm like is this like a montage or is this happening in real time yeah okay the one the one part where i do remember that happening is when he walks into the hotel room and his wife is dead on the floor but he like passes her and goes to the sink at first and yeah the whole thing is intercut with flashbacks and i was like what the fuck is happening you walk into a hotel room and your wife is dead on the floor you're like you're gonna see that she wasn't hidden at all he he just dips right past goes to the sink what's his face which who the fuck does that in real life by the way that's the most movie shit ever like just oh and then he turns around and he's like my wife it's like what the fuck bro and then uh i like the one where i feel it's most obvious is when they first introduce george lopez at the auto shop first of all them talking in sign language because the place is wiretapped yeah yeah just but they only did it that time but then like later in the movie like they're having like full-on conversations about like murder and shit on the outside i'm like isn't this place bugged and then and then like in that sequence like there's the girl when he walks in and she's like oh what's up with you whatever and then like they cut and then they cut again and then she's just like sitting on the couch but she was just standing by the desk so i'm like oh okay she just fucking teleported that that stuff i'm willing to let go like maybe that's just me being nitpicky but like like they could have simplified that story so so much yeah yeah and they would do stuff like they would build stuff up and then it wouldn't happen when they when they when the tax collector and the guy go to that you know that when they basically meet the villain for the first time yeah and the guy threatens them and he says there's a new guy in town leave we're not paying you your money right and then they go back to the auto body shop and they talk with george lopez about like what their plan is gonna be because they're gonna attack these guys right right and so you're like oh fuck okay this big battle is gonna happen where the protagonists uh confront the antagonist and then all of a sudden all of a sudden just cut to this shooter he's just dead they cut to the shooters at the auto body shop going crazy killing everyone you're like what the fuck it's this is even the point dude they did they hit every fucking cliche like in the book it was crazy it almost felt like it was like a meta it wasn't even supposed to be a full movie it was just like let's just take every classic action movie cliche and let's just try to hit as many as possible yeah guys the league guy was so bad oh like i don't think hold on hold on um but you looking up ladies and gentlemen we um we have a special guest reader today um our boy uh why don't you tell him cody well he is the swim king i would say the most amount of gold medals ever at the olympics yeah ever i'm pretty sure i'm pretty sure that's true and we're so happy to have him guest read an ad on the podcast today and that is michael phelps that's our boy michael phelps michael take it away mike take it away yeah take it away hey michael phelps here i want to tell you a bit about online therapy online therapy is not about time and place it's any time and any place did you know that over 50 percent of americans struggle with their mental health i'm one of them and that's why i'm here to tell you about online therapy and how it can change your life online therapy is easy as joining a video call or texting with a friend only you'll be talking to a licensed therapist from your device on your schedule talkspace is more committed than ever to making therapy accessible and affordable for all go to talkspace.com and start working with a licensed therapist today brought to you by talkspace therapy for all sorry sorry sorry i just got a text from this from this fucking repair guy um what was i gonna say okay the um oh yeah the lead guy i don't think he's a bad actor i think no so wrong for that role no yeah i don't yeah i don't i don't i don't i definitely don't think that that was for him wait because job was in that movie how did i miss that really yeah i looked up the cast and he's in it no this can't be right this definitely can't be right is that crazy who is that hold on oh screen with this while i was laughing that they had fucking brian ortega in there and dude the weird like um the weird like sort of meta on like the bloods and and like they're gang like oh yeah okay i was like what is this this supposed to be like a like a like a like a fable for like gang members or something it was just totally the whole thing was crazy weird it made me want to watch sicario so bad oh yeah yeah like after the movie ended we were all pissed we were like i cannot believe we just wasted an hour and a half of our lives on that and now we just got to go to bed just that's oh and like the way they they uh they bring up the cartel and it just doesn't even have like no cartel member has any uh like it like a cartel member never shows up the closest thing to it was uh the dude who i forget whatever his character's name was but who's like you know he's like oh yeah they don't work for you he'll hillside doesn't work for you anymore they work for me now and it's just like okay so is he in the cartel or is he just like a badass you know what i mean like it's just he's just like there's a there's an enigma that's just all of a sudden there and he's like the man all of a sudden like he's who that's another thing how would they not know that this guy exists they show up and he's got a full crew already and they all respect him it's like he's a boss but where did he come from then they've been text fucking here forever dude and and like and then even when they bring it up to george lopez's character his character like isn't even like fazed by it he's just kind of like yeah whatever we'll handle it and then fast forward oh you didn't handle it you got your head cut off yeah i fast forwarded his head's in an ice box that was another thing at the strip club he shows him that i'm like come on dude bruh bruh and he does like that weird like um uh what was it what's his name from 300 xerxes the whole like bend the knee shit he's like you just got to kiss the ring kiss the ring all you gotta do is kiss the ring you know what's tight about live dude you know what's tight about that movie you get to see like five movies in one yeah you know what i mean like it's kind of it's like the neapolitan ice cream with movies yeah yeah yeah you just get a little bit of everything yeah that's true you get a little shia sometimes he's white sometimes sometimes trying to be mexican his accent oh his accent is thicker than the other dude bro i know yeah he's like he's in the car he's like fucking i'm gonna die eating shit and the guy's like that's cool it's like dude oh my god oh my god why don't they just name him something you know that makes him like supposedly white-washed and then he's just shy then you can just let him be shya yeah yeah i agree just let him be himself also bro the tattoo though i know where you're laughing now because the only scene you see this hat too you don't even fucking see it first of all it's covered in one scene and he's getting tortured and he's covered in blood you don't even see it and you got an entire chest tattoo for that chest hand stomach for life dude i can't even needing to be going method for that role like you're just like a guy in a suit it's like a fucking snl sketch or something like that bro and then when they got david castaneda in there and and he's the dude from umbrella academy okay it's like when they have like their little um their little gang meeting at the at the tire shop and they're all posted up there in suits okay yeah i mean some part of me ventures to think that like shot callers like that are not gonna meet up like a corporate meeting at least in an open area like a fucking tire shop yeah i mean like when you're moving like big weight and i don't know man yeah i mean i i don't know what it's like it just feels like no it feels like someone it feels like you wrote it without knowing anything about crime or the way that right right the actual like underbelly of this stuff works right like dude like i mean like some of the concepts actually could have been kind of dope like when uh sorry keep going when when when they when they had the the gang member tied up and they were beating him and and they and then you know shaya and and whatever his boy's name is they pull up and they're like what's going on here they're like oh he was fucking this dude's girl yeah yeah and they fucked a guy up as like a like a sorry like that scene could have been good yeah you know where they like pull up like they bring the dude and then it's about to be some shit like that could have been shot in an interesting way but instead they just gave these guys this corny ass dialogue being like nah nah player what the fuck is all this like yeah i don't know oh yeah oh yeah typecast like a motherfucker yeah and it hurt me yeah that one scene i think we all laughed at that because it's something that some one of them said which was like that was so unnatural it's like you typed in mexican gangster on oh bro and just copy and pasted whatever the fuck mexican slang yeah dude who's tax collecting in a fucking uber black i know i know in suits over black in suits i feel like gang activity is a bit more discreet yeah so you know my favorite thing to do was is like whenever i see a movie like this just go read the reddit comments yeah yeah yeah just hundreds of people being like what the fuck is this dude oh man yeah i couldn't but i'm glad that i'm glad to i'm glad that i watched it just so we could talk about it oh yeah i mean bro the the craziest part to me was when uh when was his face sacrificed that girl out of nowhere oh oh my god he's just like praying to the devil and then that girl gets up off the bed like she's naked oh just it's like you just kept going through the movie they're like he's not evil enough he's not coming off evil enough what should we do oh let's make him a satan worshipper and he's one scene where he's puts on a goat head or some shit like that takes this like like prostitute that he's with and just slits her throat and like what puts the blood on him or something like that yeah i was like is this a rob zombie film what the fuck is happening here oh man and then they had that weird music video sequence where he's like doing like the whole satan monologue and then you just had the video girls in the background like yeah oh yeah and he's like ah you know fucking it's like a dmx acapella like the flesh of the flesh the blood of my blood and you got these girls in the goat heads i'm like this is if they just put a beat behind this this would be a cold a double xl like that's what double xl needs to be doing is like that exactly yeah that's it was crazy you know if you want to do acapella give it some production value could you imagine they bring them into a full set all right choppa um we put out very all all of these are our prop we put your various guns um all different shapes and sizes and colors we just want you to go crazy with it um yeah do your thing man go ahead yeah there is that model right there has consented as well to getting her throat slit so if you want to do that it's totally up to you it's whatever makes you comfortable but that would be you know that would play great for us so it's like um we have a hundred people here rigged up with um all kinds of you know uh plosive packs so uh whenever you feel like it there's a little laser on this gun and we're just gonna simulate like a fucking absolute massacre at your discretion okay whatever you want whatever you want however it's however yeah however much you you feel comfortable you want to pull you know a couple times whatever just script the whole action scene isn't expecting a rap in the middle of it yeah also when he fucking busts in at the very end to kill the villain and he has a machine gun he's like two feet away from them and he misses a full clip and misses every bullet it's like come on dude this guy killed your fucking wife you why you wouldn't go in there just like right like dog that fucking wrestling match they had in the bathroom that was sick i was lat i was like dude is this the matrix like that's what happened in the matrix right like they had like superhuman strength going through the sink and shit yeah i'm like this is funny because then they flash back to his like tai chi or his channel or whatever he's training and he doesn't use it he doesn't use it that karate kid moment i was fucking crying like are they really doing a remember your training moment remember you're training but the thing is he doesn't do like doesn't he not use it at all he just slams the guy's head against the yeah he doesn't like put him in like a triangle or like give him an arm bar or something that's what i thought he was gonna do that's what it implied was that he's going to use like martial arts to to submit this guy but then he just like fucking slams his head against the sink dude i know that's because they got brian ortega in there and they were like hey bro we need a location and he was like oh you can use my boy's gym and they're like great yeah dude the way that scene was lit was dog shit too you know they just went in there with the camera they were like all right yeah just get what we can in here yeah all right guys fight so yeah tax collector i think if you're that movie could be better on drugs it would be funny i think yeah if like you're high i that's the one thing i regret is i didn't get stoned and watch it i think if i was high that would probably be the like uh the best movie i've seen all year yeah yeah dude i feel like i feel like he went in there and everyone was just like normal and he was like hey um could you kind of dial up the you know just make it a little more stereotypical and they're like yeah oh how do you how would you like me to say the line he's like like really leaning lean into it and then they just for the rest of the movie are like damn i was sleeping and shit he's like perfect yeah yeah yeah yeah he's like you know a little bit more you know you know a little bit more you know like play the part guys like i'm not following what do you what do you want me to do what do you mean i'm just i'm not doing he's like just be a little bit you know like you'd expect what he likes around he's like you know like what's up fool like let some of that in there come on yeah yes sprinkle it with a little what's up they're like i don't you just keep staring at them going this feels like a south park scene yeah you know just give it a little more efflue i'm sorry i don't quit you know just this little more that's what's up eyes guys isn't that super racist no you're come on you're like a little bit mexican aren't you well you grew up around latinos right but you were you know you're in l.a come on yeah bro fool he's like come on fools come on fool come on i'll do it with you i'll do it with you come on let's do it back and forth what's up fool what's up what's up fool come a little more a fool come on come on it's in there i know it's in there smacking his chest a fool dude a fucking director with a comb over just being like put some more of that foo in there oh fool yeah get some more food maybe a homie you know just foo it up put some salsa on it come on let me throw a little pico de gallo on there huh huh put a little foo in there put a little foo in your step god damn it all right guys we're gonna have a great shoot today very excited thank you all for joining the project just remember um you know just general direction for everyone don't be afraid to foo it up we want maximum food vibes here today connects his iphone to the bluetooth speaker all the homies would know what i mean lean like a cholo yeah you guys like this one like a what like a cholo side to side right guys elbows up side elbows up guys side to side let's carry that energy through the chute okay guys bro i'm so surprised they conned all these people into being in this movie yeah oh my goodness man i couldn't believe it guys my ass wants to say a giant thank you to the sponsor of this episode which is meundies miandi's wants to talk about your underwear like seriously they have a lot of feelings about it and want to chat with anyone who will listen so here goes meundies just wants everyone to feel comfy as heck with the freedom to express themselves that's why they make the world's softest undies in classic colors and fun prints like dinos and surprises whatever you put on your everyday they want you to be comfortable you yeah no wait what they want you to be comfortable to be you that's what it is to be you and they want your ass to be comfortable to be your ass cody how how long has meundies been taking care of your ass years now yeah and i love it they're all over your ass honestly yeah and i have a whole bunch of fun prints and because i'm not scared to be me you know yeah well would you say your undie drawer or something to be proud of or a little embarrassed by proud of right now because it's 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no-brainer okay especially because they have a 100 satisfaction guarantee so get your 15 off your first order free shipping 100 satisfaction guarantee go to meundies.com that's meundies.com tmg morning david how are you i'm good feeling like a cholo you same oh yes that ever says that every morning uh you know david i'll be honest you've been saying that 10 days into the production now um and we just we just kind of feel like you know we should i should do it more yeah you should yeah david do it more you got it man it's like every day for lunch it's like tacos and oh my god just like fucking the most yeah yeah yeah just fucking like getting like like mexican food and like fucking tupperware and like bucking his eyes at him like i had someone's abuela make this for me they're like yeah we're just gonna get the catering man we're good dude i'm dying laughing thinking about when they're like all on break and all like the half the cast is like speaking spanish and then he's just sitting in the middle of it like what you guys talking about yeah yeah yeah yeah dundee yeah oh it's uh yeah oh my god he used to catering and he's like hey george you loving it it's 100 degrees dude i don't know how to say hot muy caliente bueno bueno everyone i bueno like everyone got the set and they got the vibe and they're like why did i get take this movie yeah what the fuck did i take this movie yeah yeah they had shya walking around with this full you think it was like full method when he wasn't on set like just like definitely just walking around outside the trailer without his shirts like well some homes are like oh okay all right yeah this is gonna be an all right movie and they're like okay i'm feeling it now shia labeouf banging on people on set don't fuck with the lights eh cereal i'll fuck you up dog can we uh can we get some makeup on shia's face what the fuck are you doing fool just tries to slap box to pa anyway sorry i'm getting carried away um that's so funny yeah so el pollo loco for lunch oh if you're wondering no boya loco so so do you guys eat taco bell or is that a that's an american thing okay got it got it got it i just wasn't sure i just had to ask do you have it down there or is it you don't you don't have taco bell dynamite okay just just curious yeah just curious i've always wondered i've always wondered you know god i love me a brc though from el pollo loco oh lord bueno bueno bueno god damn dude i don't know how that movie couldn't be more fucking insensitive man yeah yeah anyway so go go watch the tax collector man you it's it's probably it's actually the greatest comedy to come out this year yeah dude i want to know here's the thing though shia wasn't bad did you think he was bad like minus the accent that's the only thing that was bad oh my god mine is that he was good bro that's what it was brendan shaw was in the club he was he he was in the club i don't remember i didn't see him he was like he was i think he was like posted on the couch or some shit um with uh with like beside the villain guy yeah okay yeah god damn bro i need a fucking roll like that i want a roll where i can just sit and then people are like hey you want to roll you can be no no no no no no no no no i was like okay no go over something new i'm like i need to roll like that fool yeah you're like what cody what are you doing i was so dumb hey what's happening it's your boy cody cole and uh i'm here with my boy noel we're gonna do that's cringe you're like dude what are you doing cody what the fuck are you trying something trying something different this is brand new yeah anyways die like today or whatever we got like this fool he's like he's mad weird and shit cody's maddie we know maddie why you acting like this god damn bro anyway i want to i want a role where i can just sit there and not say anything not do anything and then but it's like a pivotal scene you know like like i'm the centerpiece about to do anything you're just kind of looking in on the conversation like turning your head directly to the actors as they converse with each other you're like and then i look directly into the camera yeah you're like and that's the scene that's it that's all i'm and then people are like that's cody that was weird he kind of broke the fourth wall dude i was thinking about like uh imagining like a a background actor like doing something weird and a director getting really fucking upset and he comes over and he like says some shit to him like you know he's like he's like what the fuck you doing with your hands the background actor goes you want me to do something with my hands bro and then like they kind of get into it and a background actor just fucking dropping a director just like just cleaning him whole set's like oh that's what's up oh he's just saying his face he's like you just acting on real life i'm about it dog you're just fucking playing games fool you don't even know you can direct these balls into your mouth motherfucker everyone says like damn he you should be in something did you just drop michael bay you just fucking you just knocked out michael bay the 80 walks over like extends his hand he's like yolo key low-key that's what's up i'm gonna take care of you you're gonna get fired from this but i'm gonna get you on the next one don't you worry we've all been waiting for this moment whole set starts clapping yeah like slowly just oh oh man and that's actually how um um daniel day lewis got his start that's how vin diesel got his start he fucking yeah that's where the i'm in your face line came from on fast and furious because he knocked out michael bay and then uh uh you know you know that wasn't even supposed to be on camera they just were accidentally recording arm in your face i'm in your face he was in my face i'm in your face uh yeah anyway oh bad go watch tax collector man get high watch tax collector minutes go watch that shit guys go watch that shit now that you know you gotta watch it going in knowing how bad it is because then you can really enjoy it and really enjoy how like you can really nitpick you know bro should we uh dog bella thorne getting fucking uh only fans like yeah well so what is it now it's um okay she went on there she promised nudes i guess and then they promised them for 200 bucks a pop which is cool and then they ended up not being nudes the whole thing was because she's writing a movie or doing a movie or some shit on only fans are on the people that use only fans and the effect that it has in your life or something like that i don't know it's a movie nobody asked for yeah and i guess she popped on there to do research and then as uh an effect from this was that basically she got off the platform is because she scammed so many people they like lowered the maximum donation for like a private image or something like that yeah and they also increase the time between payments so you used to be able to get paid out i think weekly or something like that which is i guess pretty crucial for people that are like you know living paycheck to paycheck i guess yeah you know or people that like whose rent depends on weekly payments from only fans i guess yeah and so they change it where you can only get paid out monthly so she basically fucked over like tons of people and then just pieced out with two million dollars in her pocket which is pretty unbelievably shitty bruh she literally fucked everybody on only fans yeah that's that is so wild how do you how do you even bruh she was like i'm meeting with only fans to you know i'm sorry for anyone i've hurt it's like you didn't just hurt people dude you fucked with their livelihood yeah i wonder what the result of all that is because it's been a few days let's see bella thorne she apologized on our twitter trying to find it yeah i i i read it it was pretty i don't know okay only fans confirms new caps on tips and pay-per-view content but says the changes are unrelated to bella thorne ah yeah right lie again yeah i mean it's i don't know it kind of feels weird if you're doing like a movie on it or something why would you advertise it so much yeah i wonder if she was the one or publicist or something was the one that reached out to everyone and they were like hey she's joining she's joining yeah let's build hype let's build hype because if you really wanted to do genuine research wouldn't you like join low-key and then like kind of have it be word of mouth because they don't pick it up anyways but like and then to price your like nude at 200 bucks which is like probably the maximum yeah like it just kind of i don't know no no it feels like she wanted to make money yeah yeah 100 no what are you talking about dude she just you know she's about the art she's yeah she's offering her art that's actually crazy that she promised a nude and she didn't have to give it i think that's what everyone says or not didn't have to but but she thought that that was going to fly i want to create i want to create only fans like catfishing and then i want to do like a pay-per-view like nude and all they get is a video of me like eating a bagel or something yeah yeah like oh hell yeah i'm like what's up bro you got god sorry sorry you gotta you gotta admit though you got got and they're like i did get get i did get god all right guys we wanna thank honey for sponsoring this episode of the podcast because it's amazing if you don't if you don't use honey already what are you doing you should be using it yeah it's awesome every time you buy something online you use honey it's a plugin that goes on your web browser and automatically it searches for coupon codes whenever you buy something online and i'm talking 30 000 stores all right anything from gaming products tech popular fashion brands even food delivery yeah it works yeah just imagine you're in one of your favorite websites okay you go to the checkout i'm picturing it i'm picturing okay there's a button that says honey and it drops all you have to do is click apply coupons you wait a few seconds honey searches for coupons you can find for that site if honey finds a working coupon you just got to watch the prices drop that's it um you know we've used it a ton just on anything any retail site i use it every fucking day yeah honestly i really do yeah i use it every single day it takes 10 seconds yeah it's super easy and if you don't already have honey you could be straight up missing out on free savings it's literally free and installs in a few seconds and by getting it you'll be doing yourself a solid and supporting this podcast also uh if you want to do that that'd be nice yeah so get honey for free at joinhoney.com tmg that's j-o-i-n-honey.com thank you honey bro you want to go on down like some you want to get like some deep meta what all right you know what uh are you familiar with gan like don't do this don't do it don't you fucking do it no no no i swear i swear you do you swear i swear on on god and cap and all the above okay this is not a malone brown i'm not not alone you know i'm sorry if i celebrated too much off the the malone brown i was literally just like a fucking dork on the night before christmas thinking like if i really get him with this because before when we when we do like the ligma and the sugma it's kind of like okay all right we're doing this all the time it's not going to work you know it's not going to work but now it's so much time it passed and we're in as you know we're in a weird paradox where yeah you know malone brown dick it's like it's starting to make a bit of a comeback so oh yeah and there's more out there there's oh yeah uh there's more that people have never even thought of probably yeah now is it people have enough time to really think about it you know the the round table of ligma is really coming up with some new yeah catchy phrases the lords of like the lords of ligma well it's not gonna stop that's a thing yeah between us it's not going to stop yeah until one of us gets the other one so bad that it just that they quit the pocket you imagine like oh you know what dude i don't even think you respect me anymore yeah yeah fucking do you hear what happened with jane buddich's who who jane buddich's i don't know butt itches that's a that's a joke that's a joke that kelsey's like grandpa used to tell her something oh yeah yeah who's yeah uh my poor buttitch is well that's scratchy ladybug scratch it and then the other person's fuck you dude i've had enough of this shit i quit no so so gann is like this um it's like a fucking and i don't know if it's the only one but basically one of those algorithms i can like take a bunch of images and like uh learn them and then like generate something off of that yeah yeah face or whatever yeah is it that new g is it like based on the gpt-3 or whatever they do oh no no i think gbt3 is um that's like um text and like ai they do images too does it okay yeah there's an image library i think that's built on top of it oh okay yeah i didn't know that um i thought yeah i thought it was purely like just text and whatever um i think gan is its own thing i could be wrong but either way bro you you get like a bunch of girls like full body naked photo and you fucking you you run them all through gand and you create like a fake lady okay that way if you catfish it's not it's not illegal right like it's okay you know it's like technically it's kind of is a real person right so then you catfish with that and this is my supreme bit right here i hold up an a picture of the nude or i just i feature it in the video and then it cuts to me eating the bagel and i go you got god bro that's a game oh nice that's you got gand you got gan fished yeah gang fish you got gang fish tommy no but even that would be worth it you know what like they fork up 150 bucks and they're like ah okay he he he tried pretty hard for this prank dude they paid 200 bucks and it's just a lesson on fucking image algo like like it shows the image like you're probably wondering where is this lady and the truth is she's not real uh and i'm gonna take you through exactly uh how i built this and uh the data set i built using mongo two hours later i didn't see any titties but i definitely learned something yeah yeah that was actually really interesting oh my fucking god man what were you saying the other day we gotta we gotta make a show on only fans um was i saying we've got we got to be like the first network show that's like that's right oh yeah right yeah because we could fund it ourselves yeah yeah we we have people pre-sign up or whatever then they're already paying monthly and then we can we can produce a like a legitimate tv show and have it just be on only fans yeah we we make the first episode and people pay for that and then based on the earnings for that that dictates the next episode yes and so on and so forth 100 what would the story be uh just something like really pg and innocent like maybe you know a child's no sorry go ahead go ahead now no no you can maybe like something like milo notice you remember that oh okay okay okay i was gonna like a story about some like dogs that get lost oh man so it's not even about coming back home no maybe it's just about pets yeah like it's like a stuart little story yeah stuart little trying to find his new car yeah maybe okay i was gonna go even more like you know like cw like a man wakes up from a coma and he tries to piece his life back together and in the process of doing that he finds love it's like really really kind of deep and like damn like so far from sexual like like in like a you know a spiritually uplifting way yeah you know yeah yeah i love it you know the show could be like um and the people keep waiting for the for the sexualness to happen because it's on only fans but it never does never never never it's and it's like uh the title could be something really really deep like tomorrow's not lost yeah and it's fucking army hammer is the lead i love it dude just you know little what are you watching oh it's this show on only fans oh damn what's her name no no no it's uh it's tomorrow's not lost it's uh it's featuring army hammer yeah it's really good actually it's really good yeah this is him waking up from the coma check it out it'll be like that quibby show yeah exactly yeah yeah yeah exactly you'd be like our army hammer oh does he got a hammer i don't know you never see him you never see him naked he's just a really emotionally like it's really uh like the depth of this character is fantastic ooh depth like you mean he'd be hidden in depth no no no no it's not sexual at all it's i'm saying ew just the emotional weight of this guy is fantastic it's unbelievable it's it's it's amazing how how much he can just project i mean the the character is just oozing oozing oozing just you know just it's just such a rich yeah yeah keep going keep going ah damn dude or or we we we recreate the social network but it's the guys who created only fans yeah that's probably going to happen i bet yeah yeah oh yeah that would be good that would sell that shit for a billion dollars yeah that can make a billion dollars and it's one guy i think i think it's just one dude is it hold on movie about the start of porn we've brought this up before fans middle senator what who's heard our only fans yeah timothy stokely that's who it is my brother's 37 years old 36 acres 37. you cut off yeah damn yeah 37 years old he's a banker's son nice nice oh danny harwood became the first brit to make 1 million euros from the site since joining in 2019 wow that's crazy man yeah isn't that crazy to know that like you could just like you just be born with a million dollar set of um bazingas or cannons or you know you got a hammer that's worth a million bucks it's got to feel pretty good right yeah yeah oh yeah i was thinking about that like with fighters like when when a guy like conor mcgregor becomes like huge uh not like his dick but yeah what do you mean i was thinking about when fighters get hard you know yeah exactly no like when they when they when they blow up and like they like look at their hands and that that feeling of being like damn my hands are literally worth like 25 million dollars this is fucking crazy yeah that is pretty wild just swinging your neck around in the mirror who's a millionaire you are slapping it against your thighs you are 10 grand 10 grand 10 grand 10 grand 10 grand oh time to go to work buddy 50 g's 50 g's yeah i don't know this is like the fifth episode in a row we've talked about only fans but it's actually crazy that it's been around only since 2016. yeah sorry i just had a thought about calling your insurance company like you know they there used to be that myth that jlo had her ass insured yeah getting your dick in shirt after like your first big only fans check yeah i'm gonna have to add another member to my policy nice and it's got one eye okay so vision impaired i wouldn't say impaired yeah there's nothing impaired about this you might be yeah yeah later you might be filing as well yeah you might be filing a claim after taking a taking a ride with this bad boy you might be impaled let's just say okay how old is the member well you know he's my age but uh boy is he strong okay it's my dick oh right yeah my penis it's my penis it's incredibly large oh my god mr mr stokley built only fans after he previously created a bdsm and fetish like glamwarship.com what was that let's see i'm gonna control c control v that no longer available oh interesting we're no longer around huh you should buy this domain client just restart the business back up this is our no that's our new merch website yeah you want some new merch cleanworship.com um in the spirit of the original creators we're making everything out of leather leather snapbacks leather that's not really that crazy um sounds dope though yeah uh yeah there's nothing really crazy that you can do with leather anyway um yeah whatever bella thorne two million dollars off only so yeah that's the story with her she made two million and then bounced that's pretty crazy i wonder if she's just gonna pocket that money like if that's just her yeah fuck yeah dude fuck yeah maybe it'll maybe she's like using it to fund the movie or some shit but i don't know it's just i don't know you know kind of shady i just think uh i mean it's just so cool that you could have just like a remote anywhere job like you can literally masturbate anywhere like you can you know oh bro what if like only fans creators become like the next wave of uh like picture only fans creator being like the next wave of of like tai lopez and like they just become obnoxiously about like you have to grind you have to grind yeah the gary vee of only fans yeah you can literally jack off anywhere i can go jack off anywhere right now we live in the 21st fucking century you can take a camera you can go jack off anywhere anywhere no one's stopping you back in 1980 i predicted this i was talking to my friends i was like there's literally going to be an option where you can masturbate anywhere on camera and charge people for it and i was right and here's the thing guys you got to be if you're going to do this you got to be jacking off every single day every single day repetition is key here if you're doing it every day that's 10th out you want 10 000 hours of jacking off before before you become a pro everyone else doesn't matter what you do doesn't matter what you do if you do enough hours of it you will become a professional a professional why would that be any different from masturbating and then dixie demilio's dad is like right right cool cool so like i shouldn't listen to the hate never ever listen to the hate no never listen to the hate you guys people are gonna people are gonna call you crazy things all right they're gonna call you you know mark mark masturbation and um you know uh uh paul pound off stuff like that right don't listen to them keep jacking your dick paul pound off is kind of hard though gary i kind of like that name that's a great porn name paul poundoff paul pound bro bro bro yeah oh do i even hold up wait what are you gonna say no no no never mind no what no it's um you said you said mark what whatever i thought you're gonna bring up mark wiens no but i've i uh i saw your profile picture changed dude like that are you back into mark wiens or what's that no no no no no no no no i uh let me pull this up uh so i i um i knew he's been i've known that he's made videos for like ever and uh uh he did a podcast with someone and it featured some old footage of him okay and i was and i thought yo that mark wiens is a very different mark wins and i want to show you this mark wiens yeah show me i could not i'm like this is not the same guy okay who is this guy i was blown the fuck away play or yeah wait playoff because we gotta get oh no this is yeah no no we do we can ride this out okay okay yeah yeah okay wait is this the scene's good and everything yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah first of all it's music this is from 2009 11 years ago what what so this is mark wiens i'm about to try some durian here in malacca malaysia i'm going to eat some all right he is higher than god bro what he is he's also he looks like he's in the fucking sway house dude dude he he looks like he's like a tick tock fuck boy dude he's a he's a complete fuck boy it's like a dude and all the comments are like thirst it's like oh my god mark he's got he's kind of fucking hot dude no it's like it's like you see this shit and you're like oh how did he what happened to him mark was fuck mark was fucking man mark was definitely definitely dude oh my god he probably started this whole thing because he was in fucking you know uh coping yang for the half moon party or whatever oh yeah yeah and then he was just boys he just hired and then he was like yeah it's like he drank a couple shroom shakes and he's like we should videotape this dude just wait we've got a durian and i'm going to show you guys how to eat it i love those things basically you just want to kind of open it up it's pretty sharp oh mark yes split it mark split it open mark you got some there it is right there dude the jewelry and everything he's like wearing rings yeah yeah so dude he like eats a shit ton of it and he's not all weird and exaggerated about it like he just like bites into it and then like wait for this part he sounds normal hmm surprisingly i kind of like it oh my god who's that mark the highest shit ever yeah i know you're looking at that you're like mark you scound what are you doing mark what are you doing everybody doing work probably about eight chunks of durian i thought the durian was pretty good at first and it actually was but the more i ate it the more you can kind of you can kind of see a little mark in there you can see a little weenie in there you definitely you don't see the weenie just let it just this one you see the weenie it just hasn't like fully burned no just just wait for this one though this one right here this is mark wiens with migrationality.com it's on the website i got the blog which i'll constantly be adding to and i also got the gallery which includes all kinds of pictures from all types of excursions uh i will constantly be upgrading adding to creating just wait just wait but anyway have a look keep coming back and it's mark wiens migrationology.com yeah i'm out i just dude his voice kills me yeah yeah it's mark wiens at migrationology.com like he's such a fucking tool yeah i'm about to fuck up some durian right now fucking with my ho yeah i fucking i found this girl down at the beach and i'm gonna fuck her brains out you know after i eat this durian we're going to eat durian and fuck like okay dude the inner cut of him just eating the shit and like spitting it out like with the red eyes just like putting the camera all the way up to it oh man so now we got to fast forward to a current to a recent video oh bro so you can see what he's like dog it's it's yo it's mark wiens you can't even just this first line let me play it again while i queue this up about to feed this bitch my street meat queens with migrationaling.com this is mark wiens with migrationology.com about to get my fucking dick sucked after hey wait go back go back go back dude that first video oh man flow yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah no no bro that's what i'm going for now let me let me let me let me switch this over you're not even ready you're not even ready for fucking long hair mark wayne's bro oh my god dude yeah that's what i'm going for yeah our listen wait wait for our boy to be backwards headed though hold on let me skip to the let me just get where's he at where's my guy there he is where's my guy grunge bro brushing a beer tower probably play it play it but also a little bit tangy and you can also taste a little bit of peanut um because it's sort of mixed in but it's definitely a refreshing drink so now he's like made the transition i honestly feel like and i don't want to speculate on his life and like if you watch this don't like don't go fuck off his comments and shit just leave mark b but i feel like maybe you know cause he's he's not actually that old he's like a few years older than us okay so i think that video of him like all like stoned and shit i think he was like 23. yeah yeah yeah i mean that makes sense right so but i think like he because now he's like he's pretty religious i think so i i feel that he used to get really fucked up and then i don't know maybe maybe found faith and then now that's kind of what maybe inspired him to be a little bit less more like yeah i'm about to get my fucking dick sucked before eating this durian mark wiens with migrationology.com um you know what's you know what's the best post post fuck snack durian me and this broad are gonna fuck up this durian split it open like i just split her open wait go so go to a recent video now i want to see him dog i got to get reminded of his oh man what's up mark wiens here he's here oh it feels like a wiggling a wiggling hot dog in your bomb are you gonna eat it yes this is what's for lunch this is what's for lunch today he's such a goober now oh my gosh it's wild the transition to goober is crazy you think it's the same same girl same woman no it's not bro is so wife's name now is a ying and i was laughing because there's a comment on the fuck boy video they're like that is not yang oh this is great this is great how did you find that i mean because yeah he just he did uh he did a podcast episode it was like kind of like an interview and then they featured a clip of him with the long hair and he's like i'm in malaysia i'm like who is that fool what a fucking bitch elena's like what video was that i was like close your eyes bro yeah yeah exactly i'm out here in malacca malaysia getting my dick sucked and eating durian getting my shit sucked off this place rules anyway what's fucking good it's mark wiens here all the way from tucson arizona i'm out here in fucking cambodia getting my shit sucked i mean i guess all right guys we'll see you in the bonus episode we can just get pick this up and keep going with the bonus episode

Channel: Tiny Meat Gang

Views: 309,488

Rating: 4.9402514 out of 5

Keywords:

Id: 0ijI8IfAdFM

Length: 70min 7sec (4207 seconds)

Published: Thu Sep 03 2020