Episode 114 - This Is Cringe

what's up guys welcome to TMZ podcasts this is actually last week's episode if you want today's episode that'll be on our patreon right now you can get it a week early if you contribute its patron calm slash tiny meet gang so thanks if you do that and if not enjoyed this one who's nobody tell us they must have boosted that laugh track or something cuz it was great in there yeah so felt yeah was the same thing at the shorties I felt like no one responded to anything I said I got off stage all these people like congratulations oh my god I was so funny I I remember like distinctly after the very first line like Matt King or someone was like just hearing one laugh yeah I mean one laugh is worse than no laughs you think just one single ah not then then that gives you the out this guy gets it you can call everyone else a [ __ ] this guy gets it shouts to you my man my boy I know we're on the same page everyone else yeah [ __ ] idiots dip shits and those dip shits - this guy you and me you want to get up here actually yeah come up here bro come up here bro you mom means we're married now it sounds like one of those [ __ ] horns like a duck corner so yeah anyways guys this is us [ __ ] destroying the streamys eating [ __ ] dude no no we crushed that's right let's run it wait before you before you start this I will say that what they said right before we came out was there's nothing cringe about our next 2 / 4 there's nothing cringe about these next two presenters yeah give it up for toady CO and Noel Miller fringe and then we go and do this to the tune of Old Town Road gonna take my dance to the old dance floor I'm gonna dance to my face until I can't no more can't nobody tell us nothing do you know what old town road is no idea Kotick Oh our and I are here why did you say my full name I plucked him here's a little refresher of the nominees it said it on the prompter and I remember saying to myself I'm not gonna say that and then I did and yeah that was me being like I said it oh [ __ ] [ __ ] me [ __ ] [ __ ] man dude I gotta give us credit we really committed to the concert no we did we committed to the bit we really did like it's not a tea I don't think that's the easy thing especially when you're sitting in front of all those people that are just like [ __ ] you see Logan Paul and all these people like ya watching you yeah ya know most be [ __ ] most people I think on a bit like that would say it you know say oh yeah we should do it and then get out there and then just go back to the script and Zac we really committed and I was credit for that yeah nod I think so just so you guys know they they sent what they wanted us to do I don't even know if we can discuss what they wanted us to do but we will anyway yeah they [ __ ] they wanted us to come out there and essentially why do it it's just funny it's just funny every I just like putting BTS [ __ ] it freaks me out why I don't know because you don't know which one's your favourite there's do I need to choose what exactly yeah I feel you know the the script originally was for us to actually come at your message whoa oh oh damn it okay it's all right Nate don't show that yeah Nate don't show that [ __ ] so they wanted us to actually come out and and do some of that dialogue to the actual Old Town Road like they want us to come out there dancing going like I'm gonna take my dance to the old dance floor um this was the original joke this is the one that they wrote I'm gonna take my dance to the old dance floor and then I'm gonna dance until I can't no more like we actually sing it and dance what we're doing it okay nobody Taylor then they want us to go four bars into that for four bars singing and dancing and then one of us goes ship I shouldn't take your horse to the dance club yeah president say there goes you have nuts on a great idea and then Cody Cohen I are here to present the Award for Best Dance elite doesn't [ __ ] make sense you know what we've been really good is if we went up there and did the four bars and then instead of the instead of I here the nominees we should just stood there for a second and as a you felt that yeah they wrote that they wrote that they wrote they wrote that they wanted us to do that and we did it and you all feel that feel that right it [ __ ] sucks anyways here are the nominees especially after directly interfacing with the chick that wrote it yeah in the green room before she's like are you guys sure you want to do this cuz she's like what why don't we just go back to the original real quick we read that and we read it again we were like no I can't do that I'm not gonna [ __ ] dance right now just go right alright let's do what you want go eat [ __ ] and then we went and ate [ __ ] whatever man no I'm I'm proud of that bomb more than anything else because that bomb is that's us like drawing or putting our flag in the sand saying no well not everyone else did their cringy uncomfortable you know presenter bit nah we said no we did our own thing yeah so we ate [ __ ] on our terms yeah that's the thing yeah everyone else ate [ __ ] on the streamys terms no the odd ass [ __ ] yeah yeah not us at least we and here's the other thing we bombed because we committed to a [ __ ] not a super meta bit but it's kind of meta yeah yeah yeah you you really have to get if you don't understand that first line which is to the tune of Old Town Road if that escaped you you're out yeah so that's why we got the one ah which which is better than nothing that's what I'm saying my man's duck horn in the audience we got one duck horn you got one I like to imagine instant hey ah I like to imagine instant crying just like it hit him so hard he immediately started crying he's like just weeping are you hearing this she's like just stone face it was awesome you know we bombed in front of everybody everybody low mic all that sounds good and I just see them just look cuz I think people were expecting us to be really funny yeah well thanks streamys Thank You streamys I have so many but it's the first time we've ever been to some [ __ ] like that yeah especially on stage like him like you know being announced and even being nominated or anything like that aside from the shorties but like we both weren't there mm-hm and like everyone is there looking at us everyone from the [ __ ] YouTube world is there yeah daring it up at us like okay these guys better [ __ ] let's see what they can do yeah yeah that that part of it feels bad but then I also don't care oh yeah no I don't the thing I thing I cared a little bit about afterwards is I thought that people might have thought we were like giant [ __ ] same for like cuz it almost came off like we were acting better dreamiest when really we were just trying to do a funny bit like I just thought it would be funny to act like yeah we don't know what the bug Old Town Road is yeah it just so happened that we happen to do that [ __ ] bit right after they played Old Town Road and did like a dance number to it which they did not tell they didn't tell us so any kids yeah exactly it was like kind of too late by that point to change all the [ __ ] anyways I felt like I we came off like like oh these guys think they're [ __ ] or they're just we get it we get to go up there and eat [ __ ] but they can go like act like they're better or whatever yeah I was like now it's just like it was just just trying to be like dry yeah well I think the other problem dude is that event is so dry yeah that it just doesn't work mm-hmm like no one's in a laughing mood man I got I don't even know if we can say any of this why was so many bones to pick with that show why you got all the [ __ ] lights on yeah the this the agent everything was so weird yeah it never felt like the show started yeah the lights were on the entire time yep freezing as [ __ ] that room cold as hell also can't hear [ __ ] mm-hmm I don't know what anyone's saying people are singing and stuff you don't hear it did I just see a person up there and I hear beats and like vague just like I was watching one of those videos were it's a music video without the music and it's just sound effects yeah soft just also the dude was like don't bend down and talk into the mic he's like it'll pick you up just stand up straight you'll like it way better when you watch it back you'll you'll appreciate the fact that you were standing up and not bending over to the mic I was like no [ __ ] way don't know awkward no way he'll just stand there like robots and talk and first of all it wasn't picking them away at a home they look like this yeah marques Brownlee was up there saying [ __ ] I was like yeah what'd he say he said I was like no I'm gonna make sure yeah these people hear me eat [ __ ] not only that he said that and the only reason you can hear is cuz we [ __ ] leaned into it yeah yeah exactly we're like right upon and we go da da da da I hope that part I've asked my girl was stupid man it's whatever we don't even got to get into it yeah this is the last time we ever get invited to that orgeous that's the last time I want to go [ __ ] glorified work party that would that was that was some [ __ ] man that oh the best was when we went to the goofy little red carpet hmm and they put our names on the little board and they held it up we walked out in all those photographers just looked at the floor we got one picture yeah the two of us one I think that was just someone from the streamys who was like you has to take pictures of the talent everyone else is like don't don't no these guys are don't [ __ ] care it was so funny we walk up in the one person that Cody Noel could he know we're like okay cool like you know feeling all like hot [ __ ] we're on the red carpet whatever she snaps a picture and then we look at the other ones and nobody even makes eye contact with us and we're like oh I guess we're done and she was like yeah I guess you're done yeah it was like and then some girl was like oh I'm running the Instagram for the streamys can you do a little bit and I just as she was saying it I felt both of us just died inside a little bit yet and then she starts recording and we're like yo it up you're here at the streamys with the tiny me gang yeah yep yeah I was a [ __ ] it was a banger I really wanted to go out there and say like yeah okay we'll do the script yeah yeah yeah and then right we go to the mic this [ __ ] sucks doesn't it that would have made us look like ass yeah I know yeah but that would have been funny give it over david dobrik yeah he's gonna win the whole thing doesn't even matter these nominees are cuz David's gonna win it and he not compete doesn't matter he's got it now dude we should have opened the envelope for Best Dance this said David ever wanted was innominate it david dobrik in the entire bar squad Wow come on get up here guys yeah we actually have 19 straight out there everyone here Congrats guys you guys really gave your all on that dance number yeah so you know ladies and gentlemen sir I had no idea that you have to pay yeah I guess it's like that at every award show yeah if the pay to get nominated yeah but not when like you don't pay to win no so it's like all the PR agencies submit people every year that's how they make money besides advertising mm-hmm I can't I can't like it can't be that lucrative no it can't be no that show is made with like $14 yeah I know it's crazy anyways guys I'm sorry that you can see my taint today I have an awful rip in the crotch of my pants because my balls are so sharp everyone said well I wasn't looking but now I am now I can't focus on the podcast cuz I'm looking at it's your taint it's it's [ __ ] 7:45 a.m. 7:45 a.m. and we're here doing this mm-hmm mm-hmm trying to act awake no it's fine actually I feel lying I just I'm a little bit my eyes are a little bit swollen from my [ __ ] dog uh yeah you getting a little bit you know what it is it hasn't been bad at all but I pick him up and I get an awful rash on my wrist yeah that's the worst worst like part of the allergies so far I had one moment it was on stream where I was fine with ollie and then I brought him home and like pet him on stream and like a hair just flew up into my eye and there's like a vada of me just like playing for tonight and you just see my eye like total like just quickly turning red it's like getting inflamed I'm like uh guys I have to go and half my head is just where are you allergic some dogs yeah okay but I just oh wait wait and it stopped and it stopped but it's it's recording again yeah it is reporting okay it's fine all right we're good see that's the test we need to ladies and gentlemen so yes yes yes anyway sorry guys so so yeah you're allergic to some dogs some dogs yeah that's why I don't touch every dog yeah don't be just touching any [ __ ] mm-hmm I don't yeah I don't just make out with any dog yeah I've got to be my own dog yeah yeah that's for sure rose cruising RT d dat yeah I don't you know that is who spell it out for people like it yeah I can't spell that listen yeah so I'm gonna doing for my kids in the future just say they know I don't go on reddit you know so baby balls cruisin re d di t earlier that is that is such some parent [ __ ] oh yeah this is such some parents say I was giving her the OL you know DI ck and she was going nuts and I was reading a story about a kid he says am I the [ __ ] if I am NOT warm - my dad's a new wife from an affair and basically this kid is living with his dad who owns a business and he's now married to his current employee that he was cheating on the kid's mom okay it's [ __ ] up uh-huh and the mom breasts of all [ __ ] up the mom got so beat up by it that she basically turned to drugs and she got all [ __ ] up from it and she lost like custody of the kid and he only gets to see his mom on the weekends and he blames his dad for it and his dad gets a note like tries to basically whenever his new wife talks to the kid the kid just gives her a default response he describes everything is nice yeah these people are nice yeah it's very nice she snapped on him she's like not everyone is nice everything can be nice with you and his dad sits him down says hey bud you gotta come on you got a you got me a little bit nicer you gotta be a little bit nicer and just the density of this guy so if you like you gotta be nice to cheated on your mom with yeah you can't [ __ ] that's a [ __ ] up situation that sounds like a movie yeah it does it's probably a script it's probably you know it's probably super real though yeah definitely real yeah Netflix is gonna make that do have you seen marriage story yet yeah is it depressing not really okay it's is it good acting why the [ __ ] people everyone's talking about it um no but no I've never heard I've never seen anyone say it's really good everyone's just like it's really yeah it's like it's intense I just think it's 40% of people who want to [ __ ] Adam driver another 30% that like ScarJo with short hair mm-hmm and then the rest are theater people mm-hmm yeah it feels it honestly it feels more like the performance feels more like theater and it does like acting acting okay and actually uh how do I say this it's like a death of the it's like a Death of a Salesman type movie what's that you're old doesn't salesman oh you got a you got a you should watch that it's like an old movie it's a book you read in high school but it's interesting it's basically about a guy he like he goes insane okay it's kind of interesting but it feels like that the thing that had me crying though is someone took the scene like drama and they read it but with the voice of me anymore [Laughter] no you want to present yourself as a victim because it's a good legal strategy fine but you and I both know you chose this life you wanted it until you didn't you used me so you could get out of L oh my god and then you blamed me for it deny ready aware of what I was doing wrong how I was oh my god is a long ass clip dude dude that a lot of that movie when the drama is happening I'm like yeah wrap this [ __ ] up B and some people got bent out of shape on some of the dialogue because they felt like he was super preachy I interpreted it as like I thought it was like irony mm-hmm and like this person is a [ __ ] yeah like they're supposed to come off that way but I don't I don't know it had me questioning if I even really understood the movie mm-hmm she's an actor right yeah and she and he is like a writer or something he's a theater director Oh play director yeah it doesn't sound like to people that I'm gonna watch ya have an argument yeah you know yeah yeah people who take themselves way to say exactly it just almost feels like mm-hmm that's why I don't I don't empathize with anyone who didn't get into the movie so you should have known this is like the most first world yeah just the most just people in LA watching other people in LA yeah and being like damn this is my life dude I feel things so hard the the inside baseball jokes like just made me like die inside because I could hear every pretentious a pasty actor going like oh yeah hit to be like that yeah that's all I gotta [ __ ] oh I gotta move to Nashville yeah so you just don't just don't get that [ __ ] yeah you really don't you don't get that [ __ ] it's just people being like you want to drink a beer a recurring a recurring bit is people in New York saying like you got to move to LA so much space and then the people in LA saying I wanna go back to New York but there's so much more space here it's like just like uh it's like funny the first time and then you know that's the only joke that people are gonna take away from the film mm-hmm are you just like damn it stop it just stop yeah I know yeah there are entire dinner conversations that happened after that movie that are just centered around that bit yeah someone said it's so true and then they just went into a whole thing about some guy that used to [ __ ] in New York and they didn't get along and you just hear it I hate it anyway we got to do a movie about how hard it is to be a podcaster that would be some [ __ ] Oscar [ __ ] that'd be so hilarious and stupid like it's us arguing like that like that the equipment you never send anything to the talking points thread anymore to talk about anymore dude I'm going crazy I've I've literally written every single thing we could ever talk about we don't connect like we used to have you read the comment was the last time you sent an idea for that cringe where was it dude after lie after we're done crying and like we really cried out like someone one of us leaves and goes into the cars like what's up guys just crying just and they just says nothing just says nothing and it's just holding the camera and it's just tears going down my face and then that's the Oscar moment people look at that interpreted as a high [ __ ] art they're like oh my god you feel the pain in this man crying to the camera oh my god making a drama about podcasting dude dude that would be so [ __ ] good have to do but we have to do it like like actually thoroughly 0% tongue-in-cheek like make it as serious as we can uh-huh uh-huh so that nobody can even pick up that it's irony just like our streamys bit cuz that went really well that's right yeah but now we could do that but for nine and an hour and a half one and going to go into a room and pitch it as here we do a scene from the movie yeah we think you guys need to have a little taste of what its gonna be like so we've prepared a little something why do you keep eating all my Cheetos this is this is not a studio just come to share it it's my apartment dude I don't want to do love island anymore the game is boring to me was it so boring when you we didn't get it was over we didn't get Matty song it was over for me then and it's over for me now oh my god dude oh my god uh-uh this just reminds me like trying to a repressed memory what a repressed memory that reminds me dude I got molested we Kelsea [ __ ] I got if she didn't send me the link or anything like that she found these [ __ ] tik toks yesterday yeah of this this guy I think it must be a trend or something but this dude it's like it's like the POV trend he's like really basically treating it like an audition tape oh and so he creates his own POV POV oh yeah yeah I've seen he's not him but I've seen these okay so with this one dude just the absolute best version of these I've seen thus far one of them was him saying POV my wife or you're my wife and you come home and give me the good news okay have you sitting at his desk and he turns around goes oh hey babe what's up I'm just writing why what what did you have to tell me and he's like taking a sip of water and then he spits it out and he goes you're pregnant but I thought the doctor said you couldn't get pregnant oh my god it's a miracle it's our little miracle baby any like she's like welling up and like start kind of cry is it weird or is he good he's 0% go get what color's his hair what do you mean like is it blonde brown oh no cuz I saw another oh yeah like what does that matter I mean yeah it definitely matters it can't be a miracle baby if he's blond that's first and foremost no it's he's brunette he's probably like probably like 16 or 17 okay really really thinks it may be maybe acting is in his future he's kind of got to look okay but he really thinks that he's a [ __ ] limb like ace right now okay look he kinda you can see that he thinks of himself as kind of a Leo yeah the mayor or a Ryan mmm-hmm when really he's not at all that he's more of oh what's the guy from the room or what Tommy was though Tommy oh yeah yeah yeah thanks for coming home tell me the good news hmm you're pregnant I thought the doctor said that does impossible Wow that's a miracle bee babies are like the miracle baby baby babies watch one of another POV of this this lady the POV was your kid hit my kid at the plate or you hit my kid at the playground and she's really into it she's in full wardrobe and she looks the camera and she says what did it what are you doing did you just hit my kid and the what I was watching was a duet with it okay and it's this young 17 year old dude you know his humor is just [ __ ] humor yeah cuz it starts off with him being like what's up what's up he's like shocking the ground she's like did you just hit my kid he's like yeah I just punched him in the [ __ ] face no no I hit him again and it first locked up but kind of funny ya know it definitely gets funny I mean he's not violent about it yeah did you know the human just great a [ __ ] humor by the way sorry I'm trying to find you're trying to find just searched POV on tick-tock careful all these dudes look exactly the same yeah I gotta find it by the way I saw a red one comment that said I get sad when Cody goes on his phone while Noelle's talking oh but it's just because I'm looking at the talking points right yeah a lot of times and he's being really boring yeah that's that's it I'm being really boring you know no I so desperately want to find this because I just think we would have a good chuckle over it well I have to say one more thing that I realized that the stream is that I did believe everyone else needs to realize is that Collin's key is the Chad version of ninja yeah yeah yeah good observation that [ __ ] had me dying I couldn't unsee it after watching him at the streamys look I mean just let me pull up a picture of ninja okay all right ninja and then you know wow we need a full body we gotta see the difference in physique all right this is solid now let's go to Colin's key come on come on I gotta find this [ __ ] please look at our man's here can we get full but I mean Colin's key is massive he that dude is tall and yoked I'm trying to find a shot of this dude you know who else I didn't realize was [ __ ] massive was goddamn Rhett from rhett and Link he's huge a fool is a Titan literally he's [ __ ] Hugh that guy has Viking blood for sure yeah definitely he was he was born out of a sacrifice that [ __ ] is gigantic you'll pull up ninjas this look you see that you can just see the [ __ ] Oh what the [ __ ] is that suck my dick pull up huh oh yeah by the way six 9s trowel is today so we'll see if he gets out or not gets uh yeah pull up ninjas outfit at the game awards oh the the camo yeah here's the thing if you google ninja outfit you just you get some good ass [ __ ] you really know how it was you get it's a put gamer no ok gamer Awards this keyboard is weird man yeah yeah yeah my man is I mean a styled up what a [ __ ] oh no no no I did find sir let me find it oh this is rapidly turning into computer - guys in the computer alright here we go here we go here we go here we go here we go it's video but mmm this camo is camo suit no just go on his [ __ ] wife's Instagram oh not that I like no purple not that I wear does this [ __ ] um so up no let's have a picture it's this one yeah it's that giant look at our man's look at our man oh it's not even a good go to his Instagram yeah yeah you gotta be the man got that [ __ ] Soviet camo bruh this is straight from the USSR brother that camo is crazy old dude looking like [ __ ] dude this [ __ ] looks like baloney with mold on it yeah it really does it's like a moldy it looks like camo that's gone bad who is your style is bruh fire them yeah oh god you're in the hair on top of on top of that it just doesn't just makes it so bad is this like a this is just like an awful prom outfit yeah it really is dude but yeah but you know he probably didn't go so props for him for doing you know surprising and go all white all white suit is like I mean that would have looked fine with the blue hair yeah true it actually would look pretty hard yeah it will look fresh better than this yeah the [ __ ] [ __ ] moldy baloney camera they're gonna put this color away on an off-white and just call it off white moldy Bologna Bologna deli meat deli meat this is brutal it's like a Christmas tree with ham hung on the as ornaments I just can't get over how much he looks like him like that's the problem with the suit is you should never look at a suit and get the vibe that is actually ham you don't know me yeah yeah yeah like I see the suit and I don't think it's clothes I think I really think it's food like someone's just standing there checking this is Adele we need planning on that one also looks like a dick sort of almost definitely on the left yeah that one's pretty phallic yeah I got the ball sack right there and then arts like you know that could even be the head you know that's coming off of an appendage the camel doesn't make sense bro cuz cuz camo but also why why black underneath yeah the black shirt and black tie well yeah it just doesn't work at all to me yeah cuz usually the the black has blended in right oops even if you go with like digital camo print right that's like pretty crazy I even like it's just like this there's there is an aesthetic mm-hmm there's like purpose I mean not that I've like ever watched the video on YouTube explaining like the history of digital camo that I've ever done that or like the purpose but like what why is this the bottom left so big with no pattern that's that's the that's the issue is it's not camo it's not camo at all alright let's just splotchy we just assumed it was camel so that's that's where the designer is gonna call us tiny-brained cuz that were idiots and we just saw camo but also it's not camo yeah what is it then yeah it's it's I don't know it's baloney that's for sure yeah these were looking better those as he got the [ __ ] off twitch yeah I mean yeah now that he's got his mix her deal I guarantee streaming is a [ __ ] Cruiser for him dude we were [ __ ] so someone like brought me a Red Bull the other day and his face is on the can yeah plus now he's got his own shoe with adidas it's probably that public we kind of me oh yeah that's a ninja shoe deal okay yeah yeah that was announced in August okay yeah yeah he's got a shoe like the dude is cleaning up and it for what he just got a really good [ __ ] management or something yeah well I think I think it was a layup for him because he naturally and he weirdly just became the face of gaming without asking for it but yeah exactly and I guess like what I'm saying is that he's not like overly charismatic no I think it's that because he was so popular on Twitch all these brands just assumed this is the entry point this is how we get in because there were so many eyeballs on him and honestly his name like that is just such like oh you couldn't ask for a better marketing ploy yeah you know what I mean yeah so easy to get kids into that yeah all the merch just everything it's just so simple yeah I mean it's just like sounds like this kind of the perfect storm right place right time mmm I was dying like obviously he worked hard like you just dreamed a lot and everything but it's like years yeah exactly but it's like so he put himself in the right position it's just look weird like I'd see him on these shows and stuff and I'm like yeah why are you aunt like you're not just nothing he's like I said he's not like charismatic or or that funny or or you can't really relate to him that much because now he's like this rich gamer yeah it's like why do kids still see him as like a role model and why are these brands putting him on so hard I think it's I don't know I have with one I think I've said this before but I think it's ironic that the face of gaming ends up being a white dude with the name ninja yeah that's true too I I can't prove this and this is probably some dumb [ __ ] but I feel that he is what the rest of the middle 30% thinks like what a gamer is so like phase Trott has tried and been trying to break out of the gamer mold that they you know half those dudes are jocks you know or like washed paintball and hockey players that love Call of Duty and you know we're [ __ ] fitted hats and they don't look like gamers they work out they [ __ ] G fuel all that [ __ ] but phase even with [ __ ] even with the offset half invested doing [ __ ] pop-up shops with them they're just not cool no one cares yeah and they even got that model guy that didn't work no people kids [ __ ] care about phase kids like phase but what I mean is people who sell entertainment I just feel that ninja fits the mold yeah I feel like they look at him and and said they looked at him and said oh yeah we can move this guy he's like the gamer yeah I don't know I just feel like in their minds they connected with that yeah I can't prove that and maybe I'm completely off-base that's what I feel is that he's like a meme of a gamer the same we were talking about people like to watch like like yeah the concept of what a TV show is supposed to be rather than a good one mhm I feel like they look at him like oh yeah he's pale and pasty and he can't sing and he doesn't have [ __ ] personality yeah you totally a gamer I don't know it's so bizarre to me yeah but then again who else would it be exactly yeah that I mean it's probably more that there's probably more that the when you look at other big streamers like summit some it's been a big streamer for forever and and shroud it but my [ __ ] name up why am I completely second-guessing that shroud yeah those guys are insanely popular yeah it's that you know what it is is that ninja has just enough charisma that's what it is there's none of my conspiracy cuz they're like shroud shroud will get twenty on Twitch he would get like 20k 30k concurrent viewers and he's barely talking he's just focused on the game and you're purely watching him for the skill that's not monetizable for most brands yeah they can't you know if getting him to do an ad read in the middle of stream yeah yeah but it's also like even know personalities better than ninjas personally don't get me I'm kidding but like you know what I'm saying I don't know I'm just I'm just thinking you know that I purely think it was the numbers though cuz at his height he had like a hundred thousand people watching him yeah and I guess it was the [ __ ] that's I'm saying he put himself in the right place at the right time this should be Drake I'm all that stuff mm-hmm like popped him off and B he became like the mainstream guy yeah her gaming yeah and now he's got like I just it's so what what weird dystopian future are we living in where he's the face of [ __ ] adidas yeah it's funny cuz the next season of black mirror is gonna have to try really hard yeah it can't be like you know gamer gets famous yeah and [ __ ] a video game characters like nah this it is like that's real now I just ripped ass by the way thanks to sorry yeah pre-show Kyle is there only one one page of ads okay well damn okay well sorry that really stinks they don't so it hasn't traveled my way read through the mouth there's trouble my way well spawn of 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what is that hold on let me go to Maya this it had me hysterical I was crying like I have not laughed as hard in a [ __ ] minute dude there's another caption for this so this is a this is like you don't understand why are you doing mrs. buhdeuce here oh-de-boy dude [ __ ] I'm just trying to get to the beginning so this is a screen recording of a girl going through her messages on facebook and this dude is leaving her voice memos like as opposed to typing the caption on this is if your [ __ ] gonna have me like this please put it on me bro no matter where my god from crying cuz this girl was gonna dump is there play that again I gotta here like I was my god a boy you no matter what damn you gotta cry hard to almost pee dude her [ __ ] message is so funny can you [ __ ] stop dude this is not love at all imagine almost throwing up because a girl was gonna leave you man that [ __ ] five-year-old [ __ ] at the end when he's like six year old crying oh my god I couldn't believe that man I just kept picturing this dude in his car like screaming at his phone and then getting to the puke part and still hitting San likes I didn't didn't think that would be a loss of character no she has to hear me frantic that's pretty funny frantic feel like that's that's something that like babies and dogs do yeah like holy doing something so hard that some other bodily function really realize it and they just just push past it bring up that [ __ ] this dude's tweet was yeah I think tinder is not for me can you read this [ __ ] you'd be [ __ ] with but I'm trying to tell you I'm a grown-ass man I ain't got time to be playing that [ __ ] Oh what okay so I guess the story is that they met on tinder and he said he was gonna take her to a rave okay and she asked for him to buy her a Jersey okay and he said no and that was that I guess is that's where this is I don't [ __ ] with thirsty guys limo so quit you're assuming you should honestly feel lucky you have a girl that looks like me as your rave Bay for the oh this is like a movie we got an 8 we got to make another movie about this oh yeah rapes a rave Bay hunter birthday gets better by the way guys a numerous drop pasties for men coming next year it's example petals but for your balls yeah I got to talk about that dog that punched me square in the nuts dude anyway no cockiness or none but I look ABG's [ __ ] asian baby girl and you look nothing like an a beep oh my god this is a movie this is a movie keep going dude I look a B G as [ __ ] and you look nothing like a Navy be sorry just being blunt right now no games need to be played right now since you groan right I can hear this [ __ ] oh yeah then no time for games just be honest I'd look dumb next to you lol imagine sending [ __ ] 15 messages in a row like this yeah you and you know no case I'm pretending like you don't and ending it with lol like you don't care yeah that cocaine imma borrow from Twitter that cocaine kicking her ass what's that from that [ __ ] clover that lady the white [ __ ] eyes just going nuts she's like the clip was pretty funny but that the caption is just so funny okay it's like a perfect phrase to describe like tweaking too hard on like adderall and [ __ ] like that it's kicking my ass you say that like I never been with an you say that like a nerve build an ABG before this is to raise you ball I love the auto capitalization at all and I turn that [ __ ] off man this is like you're trying to act like you don't care and it's like you do you act like I've never been with a Asian baby girl before this is the fast and furious of rate of rave arguments and yeah I'm still choosing to go with you I look like those bad stuck-up [ __ ] oh you look like one but you aren't one you just look like what so what am i doing dancing on you don't find are they arguing like while at the rave that I have no idea maybe they like went to the merch table and she was like I want that Jersey and he was like no [ __ ] and then she was like maybe she ditched them then and then now they're getting go find another ABG then that's cool lol I will lol I will wha go ask another coffee shop girl for show alright let mount your loss well it's been a fun two days don't care see it's good see if you could have just like he could've just left it there but you know this is a sign that he wants us to keep going of course the fact that he said well it's been a fun two days yeah yet he's pushing her you know he wants her to keep [ __ ] blown up also if you're a BG the why are you using oh wbg as your emoji damn messed up huh you had a fun night but you want to be so you could have had a fun I want to be so hard-headed I sound blinds [ __ ] damn complimenting herself in the argument I sound bluntness [ __ ] em yeah I just want to take a moment here just to say I sound pretty blunt right now kind of sick it's not the Jersey coz your ground right it's the principle law not office show gonna have a fun ass night regardless ty Lopez told me he taught me it's not the money it's the principle of it the guy that I literally met at the rave took me shopping the next day I did have to ask why me makeup all I'm asking is a jersey like sixty bucks oh my god dude get a job this is such only child [ __ ] this is such only child [ __ ] get the [ __ ] out of here it's like 60 bucks 80 max come on I was gonna dance up on you and you can't shell out 80 bucks you cheap it I was gonna dance up on you with the Jersey what now who's gonna wear the jersey I would have been your AVG all night in the Jersey for 80 bucks but you want to be [ __ ] hard-headed yeah I gotta be blunt as [ __ ] right now babe it's not the 60 or 80 bucks so what is it no it's the principle it's the principle behind it you can't just ask me for a jersey and expect me to [ __ ] buy you one we're not at school where's the principal am I like in trouble or something I need attention oh I didn't know we were in high school what you talkin about the principal I'm talking about $80 you're talking about the who's the principal [ __ ] it dude oh my god she had a job [ __ ] sounds like you fumbled the bag LOL damn bruh imma give him plus one for that I like that well that was a [ __ ] I like that one that was a sneak overhand right yeah she jabbed her then the fist came over the top she's like what took it right there I don't dance like all the oh here we go here we go this is the best part right here you ready yeah I don't dance like these girls out here I really don't it's different but pretty LM out it's seductive has a girl seductively been on you before passionately slow but on b-bros this save the last dance what the [ __ ] is this man and [ __ ] out of here wait wait a minute passionately slow but yet still on B that is crazy he's like how are you doing this so passionate I'll do imagine just just listener imagine for one second okay an a BB or perhaps perhaps an ABG yeah whatever you're into whatever you're into dancing up on you okay they're not dancing like these other girls out here and then not at all okay you look down you think how are they dancing so passionately so slowly but yet still at 130 BPM dude I imagine she says the BPM of whatever alidium song is playing right now bro imagine imagine this imagine this it's 160 BPM it's fast it's hardstyle but somehow she can dance halftime perfectly so it's like Burnett panic panic but her as like but it's to the Hat and you're just like so so you would say it's slow but yet still um be on be I lost count of how many times you told me you know how to dance because it's really something else that's how I that's how much I'm trying to let you know it's that different you will love it you would want me to stop at all so she she hasn't even danced on him although this is hilarious something else is like the most like boomer term yeah she's not using it like that but it's like this dancing is really something else yeah yeah Oh telling you it's really something else out of this world you know it's not as not as not often that you find an ABG with moxie but this girl right here she's got moxie fellas I tell you look at these text messages right here exactly something else that's a choice bit of calico I say hmm no that's the end oh it's not the end there's way [ __ ] more but that's the end of the good part you wouldn't want me to stop at all like my dances are worth throwing money at than be a stripper be yeah I know for sure remember that but I can dance better than these grown women oh all right you know there's more to life than being on the dance like a stripper right ooh Travis with the [ __ ] of course that's why I've been studying all day for fun oh now now she's talking about school yeah that's why I've been studying all day for finals this oh [ __ ] don't call her dumb [ __ ] Brett yeah I know I studied for my finals this morning [ __ ] if it's for school bet I'm studying all out for it if it's for a bet out of dance all out for it you know the funniest thing about this whole thing is is that like you know when you see to me at least you know when you see like girls at raves like rolling so [ __ ] hard just staring at their phones just typing maniacally this is in the dark you know [ __ ] Major Lazer's playing or some [ __ ] and their lights just on their eyes and they're like trying to see them it's this this is what they're typing bro we almost missed the best part right here find a girl that cares a lot for school and loves to have fun and loves to dance seductively and ratchet what are you looking for in a girl oh you know man just a girl that loves school yeah and knows how to have fun mm-hmm she loves to dance yeah I love this you know things seductively though seductive dancing okay but also ratchet oh yeah cool yeah you know oh oh oh oh what's this that's a whole page of gray that's a whole page of receives messages but not a single one sent huh the Hindu both it is really down about it oh damn she waited imagine all of this over 80 [ __ ] dollars yet now I'm out I'd have been hit block out a bid the first 15 I'd have been block 9 night see Jersey yeah it's a [ __ ] Jersey yeah yeah turn your phone off yeah for a walk see ya dude mmm forty minutes later I danced on this guy and realize he didn't even deserving me dancing on him like that oh [ __ ] here we go so I regret that I mean do you deserve me dancing on you if you really want me to be your rave AAU this is [ __ ] how could you ever send in the word rave Bay seriously what the hell is now what's the magic word you said please please stop there you go haha I'll stop you want me to stop stop like leave you alone alone oh my god oh my god bro no no no this is oxic man here that give me something that's nice ik [ __ ] all that so I think what we do is we make I think what we got to do is make like a sort of like a hip-hop song that's also sort of EDM like futsal shuffle or whatever we call it rave Bay yeah yeah I think that's a good move for us yeah we should I actually think that's a really funny concept will you be my rave BAE did I really have to go the bathroom you got it like that like that like that that's like like it's crawling out your ass and and the other side too I have to puke as well to puke and [ __ ] I won I love watching back in the playback you pounding coffee and then roughly being like I have to go I have to go I fish [ __ ] you go wait I can wait yeah yeah yeah I [ __ ] not to whatever but I almost regret doing this weird DM series cuz I live you get a lot of weird [ __ ] now not because it was it was like now I'm worried that people think everyone that watches me is like insane they are I mean yeah but like confirming it and then also yeah I'm getting some stories that it's I just like first of all it's too many okay it's way too many now it just started as like a few people being like alright I'll tell you this thing and like you read it and whatever some of them now a little bit more wholesome and very funny dude I would like the first one was it the the kid with who sent the twin the twin new the twins nudes that's [ __ ] up that's are actually [ __ ] that dark dude crazy he didn't recognize his own nipples though yeah I know they might have that Buffy yeah I just dude that's [ __ ] - man oh that's Fox kids are [ __ ] up yeah they are she now yeah yeah you could be so much worse yeah like that and ology and stuff you couldn't you couldn't have done that you could have done 20 years ago not even close no that was anyway close if you don't know what we're talking about the kid this is the dam that he got in his video yeah they they they basically sent this guy his twins nudes that she was sending one of their friends and they cut up her they cut off her face so that he couldn't see and they pretended to be some random girl being like yo check out my nudes and got the brother really into it and then sent the full picture with her face in it being like I hi you are attracted to your sister how [ __ ] is that so completely [ __ ] yeah yeah that's not a Vivi that's not a BB at all that's what I'm sure the coma piece of [ __ ] yeah you're a piece of [ __ ] man if you're listening to this again Europe you're [ __ ] awful you're a bad person you and all your friends hope you all have to lose one nutsack as [ __ ] penance for the that kind of electively yeah they all have to give a piece of metal to form one nuts yeah yes speaking and that's this dog punched the [ __ ] out of my knots dude didn't you already tell the story no I told it was in person when we were doing that thing oh yeah right okay yeah oh god yeah yeah yeah this is this is almost funnier I know what you're thinking right now what you could put this [ __ ] in the toilet or you could put it on someone it's a guy got a not what I was thinking this is where it starts now what else thing at all so where the [ __ ] terrorism start oh I see there like god damn it 60 minutes we made it through and now we almost made it made it through a full episode without [ __ ] talking about it I just I had to man we think I got a poop and pee you know yeah that's the worst cuz it's putting pressure on each other mhmmm we could we could uh we could wrap it with them yeah Moll Kamal's new body come on got that new body man I cannot believe how [ __ ] jacked he got brother is yoked um yeah look at that tree in his arm yeah it's crazy man that's a full-on [ __ ] bamboo tree unbelievable dude that those veins yeah are transporting more muscle right now yeah no blood yeah just more muscles building more and I love that he just he left all the hair on just had to you see he doesn't have that much chest hair no but if I I feel like he was just like you know what I could he could go clean is that okay I would make him look even more Jack really is I'm a Wolverine it that's how ripped I am you don't even need to see the crevice between my pecs yeah I'm gonna just crowd at all yeah leave it [ __ ] it let me go to the next one the next one is even crazier look at these [ __ ] arms yeah his arms are insane here's the thing is that I obviously have a ton of respect for someone that can [ __ ] do this transform themselves like this I mean it takes like a ton of dedication and focus and hard work and everything but at the same time it's like if I if I'm getting paid two million dollars yeah in a year to be jack yeah and my full-time job for the next year so yeah rip is getting ripped I think I could do it yeah yeah I think I could do it I think most people could I don't I don't know yeah yeah yeah yeah if if you get a lump sum and you're just okay you have one year to get [ __ ] yoked yeah most guys I think are gonna do it yeah yeah for that for that I'm not fumbling this bag fumbling the bag I mean I don't know if it was a requirement for him to be jacked I mean bro you're doing a superhero movie there's no way they're gonna let you show up to set looking flabby yeah there's no way yeah you got to look in shape I wonder if that was part of it um like I would have liked it here's the job but start you know Jim a little bit here we got you a peloton yeah as a gift from the studio years ago I've seen this before you [ __ ] [ __ ] yeah well I'm starting my peloton again I'm a peloton so we can conference in to the class just for the instructor that's sake come on won't you get in the gym did you push him wait around I mean un-fuckin'-believable good for him dude good for him yeah buddy's yoked I was one chimney yesterday he said that he was because they did Stuber together or whatever yeah and he said he was like he like went to like hug him at the end of some at the end of you know the shooter something like that and he like tapped him up and he was like hug him he's like wait a minute what the [ __ ] and his wife's like I know right his wife is hey huh I spelled his name wrong wicked like a [ __ ] oh that's right the movie was about that movie was about his wife right oh the big sick yeah was it no I'm wrong I'm wrong I'm wrong as [ __ ] Ronis [ __ ] what yeah whatever uh [ __ ] was I just about to say no it is it is right am I crazy spouse spouse I saw a clip from Silicon Valley where he's you're something wearable chair clip no I I would say bring it up but uh probably gonna get copyrighted for it yeah it's so [ __ ] funny dude we really got to watch that show yeah so like accurately Silicon Valley yeah just one dude who's like this awful co-worker of his like walks over and it's like hey can you save me those tech specs and he's like I sent them to you five times he's like yeah but they're buried in my inbox and I don't want to search so if you just resend it it'll be on top he's like okay I'll do it in a second he's like I can wait and then he leans back and if the shot goes from behind you you see he's got these like two chair legs connected to like almost like a heart oh yeah yeah as he says sound this hop out yes I have seen that yeah and so he like just purchase on this [ __ ] chair that's built into his ass and the guy's like a wearable chair as the like I hate it man that's why I had to stop cuz it's just - it was - yeah like like were like and that at that time the first and second season were dropping when I was like my first dev job and is the most intense one I've ever had yeah 12-hour days back-to-back all the time and there was no way I was like going home and being like yeah this is just exactly what I did yeah let's go work yeah that's like that's like Barry that's why I almost had to stop watching it no cuz of the act yeah yeah cuz it's just so [ __ ] accurate not it not a exaggeration at all I need to go to an acting class but you gotta you gotta see you gotta just do it just to see my acting sucks but I like I I I don't want to go because of that oh man oh it's like that Cody just straight up walked out on the puck he didn't you I know you did that [ __ ] on purpose that is hilarious man Carly he just looked at me and left costliest red cows got ear pods in it's fine that's fine I'll do the show alone [ __ ] it I'm here I'm alone while Cody takes a gigantic [ __ ] and see now it's all I want to talk about because he just roughly dipped out of the show to take a [ __ ] deuce whatever man we used this time of self promo um go watch my latest video guys if you haven't already oh brother what first analyze video let me know what you think also Cody just sent me a picture of no toilet paper so this man this man about a just deploy a payload in that Moffat and he can't he can't clean it mister shitty ass give it up for mr. shitty ass everybody start clapping give it up for mr. shitty ass he is now on the toilet bombing hard and he can't he can't clean it up he can't clean it up you can't even do what that full set on tick tock if you haven't seen it I can't there's no way I'm gonna find it but it's this dude talking about how to save toilet paper in prison matter of fact let me see if I can find it tick tock save toilet paper yep yeah we got it what what am I saying what am i saying I can't find I didn't find it at all one sec one second damn it basically says dude he's like I'll - Joe who told the paper in prison basically you take one sheet folded you tear off a corner you put your finger in it and he basically describes utilizing your fingernail to help clean your [ __ ] and in that little corner you tore off on the folded piece you use that to clean out your thumb now I want to vomit saying that that's the first time I've wanted to vomit while telling a [ __ ] thing that is awful I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry but at this point you should be through your breakfast or meal so you should be good goddammit anyway um yeah go watch my last video tell me what you think of it I was a little bit worried that I don't know maybe maybe wasn't smart maybe it was too dark that's what I want to know was it too dark I reached out to some of the people I put in that video because I had second thoughts I wanted to make sure if they were good and I'm actually gonna talk about that in the next one if I do another one but I I think I actually creeped myself out by reading some of these stories this someone does [ __ ] let me just go into my DMS and read one because here's just a random one this is a random one okay Oh see I chose it at random I chose it at random i'ma just I'm gonna just abbreviate this for you okay the top line is you want some weird [ __ ] I'm a nightshift nurse okay just that here's the thing typically the punchline of these stories is all the way at the bottom I've realized that now so there's a lot of there's just I'm gonna just give you buzzwords here okay colostomy bag all right that's a that's a buzzword that I'm picking out in the first part you back did you use the tick-tock method to clean your [ __ ] better you haven't seen that I just said it I can't explain it again what is it basically dude says you like fold up a piece tear off a corner utilize your finger I wanted to vomit when I was saying it I want to vomit again and you use your you incorporate your fingernail into the wipe and then you use the corner you tore off the little piece to clean out your fingernail he says you did that in prison yeah yeah so speaking of [ __ ] I want to I just want to highlight how [ __ ] up my message requests are now okay yeah I was just doing the buzz words I'm not even gonna read the full thing we'll just end it on this top line is you want some weird [ __ ] so I'm a nightshift nurse already bad cuz nurses they just go through awful [ __ ] at night yeah in the first paragraph I see colostomy bag I already know there's gonna be awful oh no all capitals this [ __ ] was taking his [ __ ] from his [ __ ] bag and injecting it into his bloodstream what why I see that I don't even want to read the whole thing - no you know what I mean uh why would you do that asked him why he did it and he denied everything and left against medical advice yeah it's like I I'm like I'm actually very worried that I like opened up a weird Pandora's box like I should not have made that video yeah you're like the [ __ ] post post secret or ever now yeah that website yeah that [ __ ] that tumblr yeah that old one that old one the old internet [ __ ] yeah they made a book about how secret right that's before tumblr yeah this way before wasn't oh yeah it was its own web send in confessions and they would post them anonymously there's only one that ever stuck out to me was a postcard of a bunch of famous people and I was like one of these people pays me a lot of money to not talk about our baby I was like whoa oh damn that's sick that's hard as [ __ ] yeah imagine that's hard having that secret yeah that and it's as hard as hell like just being like just being that celebrity like the fact that she can say that about him and every time he's gonna [ __ ] bricks yeah yeah it's hard having that blackmail why would you need to do that though like who knows who is that famous where who is like that that famous someone who's married like even Drake when people found out he had a kid and they were like damn it's more [ __ ] up so you just like didn't tell people about the kid who's not married what I assume whoever that is is married oh oh oh it's like a cheating yes so what well sitcom you know this is it's a that was another funny thread going around on Twitter it was like text her i'ma post us and post the reply and like this a buncha do is I hittin up girls me like I'm a post us like you know a picture of us and there's like all these girls being like what like someone like slow down although you could tell which ones are the white girls cuz they were like I really don't feel like you should do that I just don't feel like we're in that place like long paragraphs like giving emotional reasoning as to why they shouldn't do that what is this it was this aw yeah I was like a tweet thread and one guy was like just he said text her i'ma post us and see what she says like post her reply Wow and dudes are just screen capping and then like one dude was like I'm opposed to us and then the girl said post your girlfriend ain't no us and then some guys like pushing it to be funny they like work together then girls flat out being like we're not together we're not we're just walking around we're not together one girl was like no don't do it then your hoes are gonna see like the funniest way to say like no don't do it then all the other girls one chick was like dude you're literally talking to two of my friends right now and the previous texts were her saying she's coming over but she knows that he's hitting of her friends so good dude should I have not made that video I really am having second thoughts about that sure why not I don't know I just you're just gonna have awful dm's forever now yeah I mean I guess I just had a bad thing I guess I have to double down and just own it yeah anytime you want a little bit of cuz you know it yeah like I said it a bit I will say this is the redeeming part I'm not gonna read this one just like don't read it out loud this one had me like laughing really hard I thought users he popped it in his mouth and just ate it because he was hungry see that's messed up but funny I don't want to know that [ __ ] because you like those cuz I like eating gas I don't want to know the [ __ ] up [ __ ] people do behind the scenes like but that's not funny it was innocent you know recently read the second sentence the second science was like it was like a oops like like the one but then it's like he ups the second one he's like [ __ ] so put it back in the put it in the garbage and pay for both of them but he couldn't then paid then didn't throw the one out and steal it you ever do you ever you ever try to steal a gas station hot dog yeah yeah dude put it up your butt and waddle out I mean I basically just read this but like I feel like I have to keep that one dude that one's too good yeah um anyway should we get out of here yeah some other [ __ ] team G pod calm you want to get some merch Merry Christmas huh buy it by the way everyone it's it is you got a little Christmas present on the way mm yeah we do yes we do I don't know what you're talking about but oh yeah yeah okay yeah okay yeah yo we got ya for y'all yeah nobody happy holidays actually to everyone who listens for real we appreciate you and we hope you have a fantastic Christmas whatever you're doing this is our second Christmas with you guys this is dope third the third no we just hit two years oh yeah cuz we started in November yeah there's Arthur W third Christmas yeah uh-huh Wow what do you do sent staying around here yeah yeah sitting on my ass my ass my ass sitting on my fat ass sitting on my [ __ ] ass on my ass my ace say no my ace sitting right here on my ace yeah the [ __ ] I'm doing for Christmas I'll sit around my [ __ ] age I gotta go as well once you do dad Wow go crazy alright every body and we love you pod comm you next week Christmas Wow

Channel: Tiny Meat Gang

Views: 799,379

Rating: 4.9496226 out of 5

Keywords:

Id: OFPQ1A5-btc

Length: 78min 36sec (4716 seconds)

Published: Thu Dec 26 2019