Your Influence in his life | UMU | Tony Gaskins

hey tony guys here now i want to talk to you about really understanding the way men approach relationships and help you realize something that i feel like most women don't understand you know some can talk about it everybody tough in the comments like i in the comments oh my goodness every woman just so classy just got the most class got the most strength a man cannot buy her a man cannot sleep with her a man cannot get over on her i mean ain't never been played ain't never been lied to ain't never been bought i mean just classy in the comments but then in real life when you get hit with that test in real life oh we gonna see or we gonna see so i hope you're ready and yesterday i was talking about a man buying a woman and a lot of you know people think that that means when i'm talking about that that's talking about a rich man it's not talking about a rich man because for once not even that many rich men so to be in the top 1 of america you have to earn 365 000 a year the average man in america earned 45 000 but guess what if the average man in america earn 45 000 then the average woman in america may earn 45 000 whatever google said do but we don't know but when you just look at 10 women that you know personally like your cousins your aunt your your grandma whoever your mama whoever working take take 10 women you know personally put their income if you know it and then add it all up divided by 10 that'll give you an average for your life for what you see because now if you live in beverly hills your average is probably going to be different um if these 10 working women if you live you know in a regular city then the average gonna be different so when you look at that when i was talking about don't get bought i want to talk about a rich man who could buy you a bentley when he cheat on you that was just an example what i'm saying is if you make 35 000 if you make fifty thousand and he makes seventy five thousand y'all at a hundred and twenty five thousand what you could do at a hundred and twenty five thousand dollars a year is totally different than what you could do at 50 000 a year and that's what i mean by don't get bought because at 125 000 a year you may be able to afford a certain school that you want your children to go to at 50 000 a year you might not be able to afford that so understand that so so that that way when you see it in the real world you not thinking oh tony was talking about a rich man by me no what i'm saying is a man who add income to the table that you live out of that income that you utilizing his income and without his income your life gotta change that's what i mean so sit with that get that in your mind and that happens every day so some people like oh this is so rare oh this never happens oh oh no no rich man if i'm not gonna talk about a situation that only applies to one percent of people so even though i may use that example in talking for an hour i'm talking to the general public i'm talking to an everyday situation so understand that and i and i just i be hating to have to spell stuff out but i'm learning when you're talking to people you got to spell stuff out you literally got the s-p-e-l-l-s-t-u-f-f-o-u-t you got the spell stuff out because people like oh well and and as you know as a teacher on here you you don't want anybody left behind you want everybody to get it you want everybody to be up to speed so that ain't nobody getting played if they came under the sound of my voice i don't want you to get played okay but now today what i'm talking about we just had to do some house notes from yesterday class today in class what we talking about this understanding man men university okay umu understanding men university now i want you to realize something about me because i noticed that women and it could be just genetics it could be just the way we're wired just dna but one thing i noticed is that women give men more credit for being tough than we deserve women think that men are tough women think that men are hard women think that men are you know just downright ruthless killers i mean yeah we got to go do that in the service yeah if you in the streets of chicago you got to do that but or la you got to get like that but women just assume a man is the big bad wolf now you do have some men that will put something on you and as soon as you recognize that and what you got to read before he put something on you you're gonna see other little behaviors and when you see those behaviors that cursing you out calling you out your name throwing stuff breaking stuff before he touch you he gonna break some other stuff and when you see that that's when you need to be gone but a lot of women let that scare them and then they stay and then you take and you help create the monster by reinforcing the behavior so you can't reinforce this behavior because a man will do what he can get away with point blank period and everybody you know so many people not everybody say well talk to the man teach the man you need to teach these men how to be real men need to teach these men men are not listening to these messages men are not looking for advice on what to do in a relationship men not doing that that's why you see women here and that's why you see women in the comments when you go through the comments how many men do you see men not showing themselves and saying hey i'm here listening and learning teach me men not doing that because and the reason why men are not doing that is because nothing matters to a man other than what the woman he is with is going to allow him to get away with so i can tell every man i can when i get enough money i'm going to buy me a network and it's just going to be teaching around the clock it might just it might just be me sitting at a table and i just got enough content that it's going 24 hours i might have 365 days worth of con content it just replay every year when i get enough money now and i might need to buy my little local station first get my little small little small local station hey remind me about that let me check and see how much that cost and so when it messed around when a man could sit there and listen to me talk to him all day long and the reason why the reason why i don't really care to do it is because i feel fake doing it because as i'm doing it i'm like i'm wasting my breath i'm wasting my breath i'm not gonna get this time back i'm not gonna get this time back in life see when i'm teaching a woman how to understand a man i'm not wasting my breath because that's not common sense that's not common knowledge that's why so many women getting dogged out be and getting mistreated that's why we have so many single mothers that's why we got so much domestic violence that's why we got so much going on in our world because women understanding men is not common knowledge but when i stand here and i'm telling a man hey listen you know you need to speak to this woman with respect you know do not raise your voice at her do not curse at her do not cheat on her you need to be a man he already knows that he already know that he uh that's how a man gets a woman on her back when you got on your bike did you get on your bike for a man that came in to the situation hey hey come here girl hey what give me all your money hey give me your money if a man did that what you gonna do trap me you gone but he come in hey you know how are you i just want to get to know you just want to just i want to learn more about you so like tell me what you like to do you know what do you like to watch on tv like do you believe in god like tell me about your walk with the lord that's how he come in that's what have you on your bike you get you don't get on your bike from a man come in hey um find the dog you out you hear me you finna get dogged out what suck my toe right now get hit on my big toe right now that ain't how man treat you when you meet him to get you on your back so my point to you is men already know how to treat women that's common sense people say oh your six year old i said my son know how to treat women the little girl in his class said oh he learned that for you no he didn't he didn't learn that from me i don't show nothing around that like that from him he don't even we don't have him kind of conversation and he don't see me with his mama like that i mean he see me with his mama but ain't no affection and holding hands and all that he don't see he learned that from me that's innate he already he just know this is a this is a little girl i like her hair her voice is different than mine she got different body parts he already they know that they learned that early on so he know let me be gentle let me let me be gentle [Music] and he watched me and his mom he seen his mom you know spray me with ketchup and mustard put me in a chokehold she's stronger than me so that's just innate he he little boys men know how to treat a woman but see this the thing that women don't understand that this man the man you're dealing with he's not tough he's not tough he he might be tough you know because he was made to be tough but at the core of his heart he still cry he still cry he's still hurt he's still scared he still have fear in his heart he a human being he's a teddy bear he worries he need life coaching he need a confidant he need encouragement he needs you to speak into his life he's scared of the world he's scared of failure [Music] he he's scared to walk by faith he struggled with all that he struggled with all that and literally can be whipped into shape can be whipped in shape see think about this now think about this now think about this we used to be slaves [Music] we used to be slave how and see this is why i need you to understand how the brain can be trained we used to be slay so you mean to tell me hit or kuna kente he you we had slave that was six six lebron james ain't a new creation i know loud no it was a slave that looked at like lebron james and then he'll go the master five feet tall yeah yeah turn around and just used to tear us apart why mental conditioning see today a lot of women are being mentally conditioned to feel like and to believe that you are less than and that you are nothing without a man you being made to believe that if you don't do what a man tell you to do that you gonna be broke busted and disgusted you're gonna be lonely you're gonna be barren you're gonna be miserable that if you don't let a man do what he want to do i can't even say let a man be a man because a man cheating on you and cursing you out and putting hands on you is not a man being a man but it's women who have been led to believe that a man gonna be a man so if he wanna watch a little perm then watch love her ain't nothing listen yeah hey that's looking not touching if he want to go to the script like let him go to school because squirrel club got rules he can't even he can't even do nothing in there i went to school two times in my life um one time with some friends from college took me back to new york city where they from and we went to script club it's a haze we got kicked out because my friend stuck his thumb in the girl booty and so they kicked the shot because you're not allowed to touch him and so he and uh ain't gonna bro what is you you don't know how to control yourself you should not be in there if you got to do that stick in your thumb you know come on nine man and so i just always was disgusted by it but it's women who have been led to believe that that's normal that no let a man go to the club that's normal that's what men do i have quote unquote classy women tell me well tony in atlanta eating lunch at the script club is normal that's what every man i'm like what that's normal i don't want to be biting no wayne i'm buying a wayne smelling booty what that's just not normal i'm not going to be an eye you know on the stage clapping like come on well she's sweating the the routine and went too long the dj's forgotten he didn't loop the song so she just supposed to be playing one time but not he he like what he's saying he don't play the song two three times third time now she glistening with sweat it's activating moisture back then smell starting to come off now like she gonna pull the double shift didn't get the shower and i'm trying to by the way that's not normal that ain't normal but it's women who have been led to believe that that's normal behavior that that your man ought to be allowed to go to the script club and then there's women who believe that they should be going to the script club there ain't nothing wrong with them going to the script club we shout out we shout out we toe down you hit me bro busted and disgusted tore up from the floor looking like who shot john for got to kill him we doing bad we doing bad where is when who have allowed society to take the perversion that satan has put in place and make it normal that thinking it is normal for a man to watch pern for a man to go to the script club for a man to be touching himself for a man to desire a another woman to be enough with threes y'all in that thinking that it is normal awesome i heard when something falls i'm like what three one three of y'all wanting enough y'all had to go to full what in the world what's going on like what's going on that's normal see listen to him what you got to realize listen i'ma tell you the truth okay i'm a man right now you know my advice is i'm looking at calls every day i just like look at call i look at call think about what call me get next because that's just my little fun but guess what i got savings i got money on the market and i got and i'm gainfully employed got active income coming in so i can afford to look at cars and like i'm broke busted and disgusted looking at cars you see what i'm saying so that's that's my advice right though listen i don't watch no perm hear me i ain't watching over her i ain't going no scream uh you ain't handler ain't getting high ain't getting drunk ain't none of that normal i'm not gambling ain't none of that norm that's not normal that's a perversion of the spirit i don't curse you don't hear me say no curse words no if you thought you heard me say a cuss word you misunderstood my accent i don't curse i don't even say the d word i don't say the a word you know when people say they peed off you know peed off but they say it p.i crooked little crocodile e.d i don't even say that word that word uh uh my daddy don't curse but he say that word i don't say that word i unheard my mother-in-law say that word and then uh oh everybody everybody i know curse and except for my wife and she don't curse around me if she slip and say a cuss word it ain't around me so i don't believe that she cursed but she might because all her friends and stuff curse but if she knows she if she know she if she curses around me everything's stopping everything the the clock on the wall stopping everything stopping because i don't courage reason why i don't curse because curse words are profane it's profanity i'm sacred i'm living with the lord the god is righteous i'm trying to be righteous you can't mix the profane with the sacred that's why i don't curse so listen i want you to understand that a lot of stuff and see if i go talk to my wife and see my wife she know she know not because see this the thing you got to take your spirit as a woman you got to take your spirit all the way back take your spirit back to when you were pure take your spirit back to when you were pure as far back as you got to go some of you gonna have to go back to four years old some of you gonna go back to six some of you you lost your way at 11 12 13 somebody is going to be 16 somebody's going to be 18 somebody's going to be 22 somebody's going to be but take your spirit back to when you your spirit was pure when your spirit was pure and you were not perverted by the world you were not tainted by the world you did not believe perversion is normal go all the way back okay and then think about what made you change your mind [Music] when you thought when you what made you think that a man cursing you out is a part of a relationship where did you see that where did you see that that made you say oh so that happened in relationships and yet they still stay together and they'd be happy where did you see that at think about it oh yeah i'm working with you i'm working with this life coach this ain't just random talking this is right here you got to do the work on this hill you got to do the work all right some of y'all talking about y'all be laughing that's just cause you got a good spirit that mean that your spirit in the right place if you get your laugh cuz i'm not telling you no jokes on these videos i ain't telling no jokes i'm not no stand up comedian so yeah i must be a sit down comedian and call me to sit down comedian if you get a laugh that's because where your spirit at and then cause me cause i don't tell jokes okay i'm not a comedian i'm telling the truth we doing real work here all right so now go home go back then when your spirit was pure because see somebody got had your little boyfriend in kindergarten he turned i remember i was in kindergarten and i'm sitting on the back row you know you used to have duct tape and they'll put a little circle put a bigger circle put a bigger circle put a bigger circle put a bigger circle me and my homeboy used to sit back on the bike circle oh yeah we was in the bike cool and i had one hand and we had i'm right here she right here he right there i got my hand down her pants on one cheek i'm cuffing one cheat he got his hand down a pain he cuffing the other cheek in kindergarten in kindergarten it break time when we go to the little house that's why i say you got to be actively raising your kids all right you think you you think oh they're so innocent all right think that you want to when it was time to play house i get on top of for a few seconds then i get off the heat get on top of for a few seconds and this was a little caucasian this was a little caucasian girl now so we was and we're in the south so we was all across the line you hear me but as kids we know no different we know no different i learned later 10th 11th and 12th grade that where i live black guys can't talk to white girls i learned later but in kindergarten oh we had us look we gotta look okay and me and my friend was sharing them and this was happening you see what i'm saying so some of you you got to go back so now if she and she was willing to participate she was having a blast she used to come to us hey come here hey you wanna oh put your hand down there okay so we know no better so that's why i say some of y'all you got to go back to when you was in kindergarten when you was pure because you might got turned out by your boyfriend in kindergarten maybe third grade maybe a fifth grade now it's around middle school guys start putting hands on their girlfriend around middle school so some of y'all in middle school your boyfriend push you grab you you know what happened why he saw that at home you might have saw it at home too so both of y'all think it's normal think about it and see this what you got to realize what turned you out what turned you out what turned you out who turned you out and that's where you got to go back right there and you got to address that pain did you ever learn good touch bad touch if you did not learn it now you know it good touch bad touch so now you got to go back all the way you got to take your mind back and you got to sit right there in that moment you got to relive that moment you might it might make you cry it might make you shocked it might your mouth might hit you you your chin might hit your toe but you got to relive that moment and then you got to tell yourself that is not right that is not right that is not pure that is not whole that is not holy that is not righteous that is not fair and you have to speak this out loud by yourself that's why when i talk to you you need to be by yourself because you need to speak this out loud it is not right for a man to watch and y'all understand the word i'm saying but just sometimes it's right here you know grab words and it'll use what i'm saying video be okay so i say stuff wrong on purpose something y'all apparent what did he say i'm talking about nasty movie hearn okay so can you say sir all right so [Music] you look at that it is not right for a man to watch it is not healthy it is not pure you see what i'm saying it is not pure it is a distraction it is a gateway rug okay it opens the door to promiscuity because this man when he entered this and even for y'all women that's into it you're feeding lust you feeding lust and i see people who do not even understand that they in pain don't even understand that they spear them been turned over that they haven't been turned over to a reparate mind i could see on my twitter i used to be arrogant on twitter i would only follow 25 people people kept saying stuff about that it was getting mad because i hadn't got to like a hundred thousand followers and i was only following 25 people and a lot of people getting their feelings like i'm following i'm following you can't follow nobody back i'm unfollowing so i just went to my follow list one day and i just hit follow so now my twitter i follow 50 000 people it was a mistake i wish i could unfollow everybody and start all over it was a mistake because if i do if i do like this two times on that twitter timeline [Music] i'm fantasy baton ball you hear me i'm fantasy batting balls and i ain't talking about baseball but i'm seeing baton balls and just women i'm seeing all kind of stuff in my timeline and it's because of people retweeting it they follow nasty pages and they retweeting it and i click on the person page to be like who am i following i've been unfollowing people now because i didn't realize that when i didn't click and followed her i was doing it so fast just to follow all these people but i ain't realize i was following all kind of wretchedness you hear me so now when i see certain stuff for somebody i go on follow i know they might get mad they might unfollow i don't care but i'm like i got to guard my spirit but when i tell you i see some nastiness on that timeline and i'll click it and it'll be a young lady in her 20s that look like your daughter that looked like the girl next door she dressed regular how regular don't you don't see no sign of nastiness or wretchedness but she was turnt up at a young age she was violated at a young age and have not addressed that pain have not gone to therapy so she tweeting like i saw a lady yesterday a young lady looked like ill 20 look like probably around 25 to 35 you just can't hardly tell ages these days she said she tweeted i want a reason so bad i would like wow [Music] who tweets that oh my goodness i say well lord i don't know maybe my message need to be maybe you want me to reach and reach the ratchet because why how you follow me talking about that right though but it be the devil it'd be the devil sending them sending sending them trying to debate me sending uh now i'll tell you one thing by loose booty women they do not dm me lose blue women do not dm me so that must just be the ore and the anointing on me that's repelling that stuff loose blue women don't don't dm me and the end time it look like a fake account yeah but like a real woman that's a real loose booty i they don't dm me for whatever reason i do not know i don't know why i guess they just they respect the oil i don't know what it is but they don't dm me but i see it and i'm like man so it's so many women who have been turned over so many women who have lost their weight and then it's this narrative of body freedom and sexual freedom and [Music] listen you swimming in bacteria so if that's what if if if you run you around here catching bats and balls all day two three four different men a month talking about you got sex with free all right you finally have a recompense in your body like the bible say they received a recompense in their body you about to have a re-confidence in your body okay so don't be hot in my body freedom and all it says read them okay when you get that health heal hiv when it when you get there right now all right oh you're free okay yeah all right you were free okay now you see what come with that freedom you see what come with that freedom all right and you got stuff all everywhere and you going through and just and it's because of promiscuity there's some people that contract stuff and it was through genuine love it was through they were trying to love somebody they weren't being promiscuous and they were trying to love somebody and contracted something guess what it's still love for you out there it's still love for you out there when you make an honest mistake and something like that happen it's still love for you it's still you still could bounce back you still you still have love you still have options you still have a chance you still have a choice going forward but when you are here and you just get turnt over and you start to wallow in that and live like that oh no oh no something to come and then ain't going to be able to deal with it trust me when i tell you but see this was happening today so it's so many the society pushing so much promiscuity so much nastiness that people are accepting nastiness i need to go live on instagram after this see i turn my comments on instagram because you have too many trolls on there two minute troll when i go live i ain't been live a long time but i'm planning to start going live on instagram most so you might miss it if you don't follow me on instagram but you probably could catch the replay and i may say some of the same stuff but it'll be some different stuff too so what i'm what i'm noticing is you have to you got to look out here and you got to see and if you got twitter you got facebook scroll scrolls sometimes on your news feed and you won't see you're going to see women you went to school with men you went to school with that was cool calm and collected that was good people turnt up turned out talking nasty retweeting nastiness you're you gonna see all you gonna see that kind of stuff you're gonna see that kind of stuff and you're like wow what happened see when you look back you're gonna see that it could have been a moment in your life where you were vulnerable it could have been where you wanted love or you were trying to be accepted it could have been where you felt powerless or you were powerless because you were underage and you felt like you didn't have a voice you got to revisit that moment and then you got to re you got to correct that lesson that falsity that you accepted as a truth you have to correct that you got to speak life into that you got to speak to it you got to call it out and say that is not right this is what is pure this is what is right and see so so my wife i i joke with her sometime hey so baby so hey you cool with me going to the script club hey what you hey what'd you think about that me going to script club i'm just testing that and she shoot it down immediately she don't even think about it she don't even she don't even entertain her she don't even say are you serious like is this a serious question like is that something that you feel like you need right now in your life like there's a lot a lot of stress or something she don't even think she's like what all right you will pack your clothes when you go keep your clothes in your car so because when you come out and you ain't coming back here so go on and she dad's here she dash ears sometimes i be thinking about trying i just you want to try just see what she going to do like man i'm going to screw up man man i'm scratching you ain't screaming me you ain't going to screw up first time if you want to try it i might have to try it one day and like do a video of it just see what you do then i have to beg and please and i have to have y'all all y'all send a letter to our p.o box just begging to just say look tony just did that's for us to just show us what how a real woman respond to stuff and and it was all a joke it was all the prank i might but i think she could hear me right now i think in her closet so i it ain't gonna work but anyway i'll try everything in hey what you think about it you know what i'm saying me watching a little perm just to you know see so it's a lot of women at this stuff coming up and they telling the man well am i not good enough for you like i can do what they do i actually used to do that i didn't tell you but i used to strip well not really if you're going to get upset about it no i never did that okay no but am i not good enough for you well okay well i'll ask you this before you go let me show you this new move that's how this is women doing this now well let me show you what i can do first before you go and then you make a decision so here you will you end up oh you got all kind of move you don't hit your head on the pole you know put in your room and then the next day yeah you know you know that was cool and everything and i appreciate what you're doing but i just need an outlet see you were inlet i need a outlet so it ain't even about the women it's just about getting out of the house just being somewhere in a different environment just having some of them uh lemon pepper lou williams wings and just like it's called magic city for a reason because when you go in there you feel magic and it like it just unlocked your brain and you just convision it's like one thing about me because see i'm from the street so like one thing about me i got to have money i got the hustle and so it's like when i go in there and i'm in that magic and it's like magic city and it's like i could see the city and i could feel the magic happening in my bones it's like i have visions and like so for me it's like because i'm from the streets it's like you i could provide a better lifestyle for you if i just could free my mind then i could get the money that you need but see legally because you already know from screen so i used to do it illegally so he hit you with that and you like [Music] oh well i i do want louis vuitton i have been wanting me a louis vuitton never full bag and it's like crystal got one brandy got one and i i understand you working hard so if you feel like but if you need more inspiration and if you feel like bumble bee triple x is gonna just help you open your mind and them lou william lemon pepper wings i mean by all means i i cannot say i'm extremely happy about it but if that's what you feel that you need at this stage in your life because it's like women go through menopause men go through andropause i seen that in the comments on tony guy's video and it said me and go through andropause so maybe you have an early onset andropause and so if that's the case go go go ahead just i'm just going to ask you for one thing do not sleep with one of them you can go build up all that you want to build up but then come back and bring all of that to me that's all i'm gonna ask you that's all i'm gonna no i i don't want to go with you because i'm catholic okay and i cannot go in there no i'm pentecostal whatever you is that's it you let them know that's what you is so that's why you can't i'm amish i cannot go in there so just go by yourself i'll be here ready and waiting and this was happening and see you never know when you're going to be confronted with it because he does the thing and that's why i try to tell y'all because everybody tough in the comments everybody tough in the comments but it's totally different if you bit when you'd have been with a man five years seven years ten years you didn't gave him your life you had two or three children with them y'all got a home together you got calls together you got join account together and then he hit you with that fake depression he hit you with that fake depression that say that he need to watch perm he need to go to scripture he need to gamble he needs to start cussing you out to get steam off his chest he hit you with that and your whole life invested nah it ain't that easy to just say oh no i would never a man would never go to strip club if he gonna be with me yes either say when you single as a dollar bill but that's not gonna be that easy when you locked in two three children and they absolutely love and adore him and he paying half for the bills or 75 of the bill or all other bills and then he hit you with that so see that's what you got to understand what you have to understand about a man unless he devoutly walking with the lord see my wife don't have to check me i check myself my wife didn't tell me to stop cussing i ain't cussed when she met me so she helped tell me to stop smoking i didn't smoke she ain't telling me to stop getting drunk i didn't get drunk see how tell me stop gambling i didn't gamble because see i know the lord and i want to be closer to the lord see so it's about my relationship with god but see if your man don't have no real relationship with the lord you're gonna have some stuff you got to deal with and that's what i need you to understand all right we finna bring on home from the horn on the end we got 20 more men that's what i need you to understand a man can be taught he can be trained and you don't like neither one of those words because what you say is oh i should not have to train a man he ought to be already fully grown i should not have to teach a man anything and i can tell you that's already probably in the comments 20 times because they ain't got this far in the video and don't even realize i'm talking to them and about them but but i ain't got this far already i'm not going to teach about nothing listen you gonna have to and this what this what i'm telling you it's not about teaching him and training him that's when we putting it on him it's really about knowing your standards so he's learning from your standards see because i know that yelling at my wife is a no-go that she would never tolerate that then i'm not gonna do that because i know i'll be single and i know i got a good woman and i don't want to be single because i know that just spending money willy-nilly buying all this stuff for my friends and family is a no-go with my wife that she gonna look at me as irresponsible weak and soft then i know i cannot do that i gotta do and help and i help but buying just extra stuff extravagant stuff for friends and family just trying to please them and get them some i know that's a no-go with my wife because that's not being a good steward of my money until we because we ain't there yet the way we could do that we ain't at that place so i know that so it's things that i know i can't go out and go to no strip club i know i can't take a paycheck and go to the casino and gamble that whole check away i know i can't watch no nasty movies i know i can't do that because i know my wife's standards and the reason why i know her standards is because i know that when i told her i was gonna be home at a certain time come to her apartment at a certain time and i didn't get that certain time she let me know about that she wouldn't let me in when i got there and she let me know the next day don't ever try me like that again so i know i know that when i was questioning her and trying to be controlling when we first in the first two three months i know that she cut me off and said we need to take a break but i know that when we did that i didn't hear from her for six months i knew i'd never heard from her i reached out to her six months later for a friend to connect a friend with her roommate so i know when i came back to my wife when we hit it back off we got back together when when life crossed our paths again and we hit it back off i knew then that my wife would cut me off for a little or nothing you hit me so guess what when my wife showed me that with me questioning her like she my child that she would cut me off cut complete ties with me and treat me like casper the ghost okay that let me know that if i can't even be controlling verbally like wait because i i'll talk to her when we was first dating where are you oh at the mall who are you with i don't believe it let me hear that voice let me hear her voice let me talk to her you watch a room let me talk to her that's where you at i don't believe so if i come up there right now it's just you and her that's how i was trying to be because i was toxic in my relationship before that that's the type of relationship i had before my wife my wife let me know knew all right buddy this ain't gonna go we need to take a break that's what she said i ain't hear from her we were done if i if my homeboy hit me up the say hey hey tell your girl i wanna highlight a room mate cause he ain't know he was broke up i ain't telling nobody that was embarrassing that was my first time ever getting dumped i ain't i had never got done he knew me as the ladies man i used to supply them with women i ain't never got done my wife dumped me that was the first time a woman don't mean so guess what that's the woman i want i want the woman who love herself the most i want the woman who gonna hold me accountable that's what every man won't every man who got a real man inside of him not a grown boy he don't want to be held accountable because he don't want nobody he's gonna self-destruct so you gotta get out of his life and let him self-destruct but see when you come in and you put your foot down and you do not compromise and you're not afraid to lead you ain't afraid to leave like right now i know my wife ain't afraid to be single i know she ain't afraid to be a single mom if she got to be a single mom she's not afraid she gonna do it and she's gonna ball a lot she's gonna put him on child support she's gonna get spousal support she's gonna get half of everything and she's gonna ball a lot she's gonna live her life she gonna find a way to earn get uh she'll work from home she got to she'll be a school teacher and be doing virtual learning and and making money that way she'll start a tutoring class and be tutoring people she'll be planning events on the side i already know she can earn six figures i already know it she just don't have to do that right now but i know what she capable of because from the first two three months that i knew her in 2005 when i met her 15 years ago she showed me what she bought because in a society where women allowing allowing men to run over them talk to them any kind of way because they think that sexy they think that means that they man tough because he be in control and they think that he cares and a lot of women think that that's cute my wife's like this ain't cute um you being insecure and controlled this ain't cute no i'll play boy i got to go i already just left a grown boy ain't gonna go from one grown boy to another grown boy you said i'm saying so i actually made her ex-boyfriend look like a viable option because of the way i was acting out supposed to be an upgrade but see i was an upgrade to get her in the first two three months i was an upgrade to get her then i showed my true colors you see what i mean and then when she showed me oh all right now that i can see you i'm gone and listen we were young we were dumb we were living in sin you know we back then we were fornicating we weren't really walking with the lord like that we was in our backslidden state we knew the lord had been brought up in the lord so i've been on both sides of the spectrum and that's why i teach what i teach because i made the mistakes that you have made or that you should not make if you young if you 18 to 21 i'd have made a mistake keep your legs closed don't be in fornication do it god's way i don't try to do it the wrong way so even though we have been opened up to some form of promiscuity what not promiscuity some form of sin through fornication my wife didn't allow that to trap her and say oh well because he and i you know been talking three four months or however long it was it time flew i know how long it was and because we have fornicated i'm just going to put up with him questioning me and being controlling and being insecure because i've already went to third base or went to home plate with him she didn't do that she said i'll cut my losses and i'll move on with my life so that showed me something so when i got her back and then 10 months later we got married i said okay let me try it again see the grown boy was still trying to well up in me the devil the devil wants you he don't want you to have no happy prosperous relationship he won't you so he gonna keep attacking your boyfriend yo your husband he gonna keep tempting him he gonna keep chanting him see i don't watch nasty moves but now i go on twitter they have it on twitter you click on a trending topic you click on the trending topic and then in the thing you'll see nasty stuff nudity and i'm like whoa but twitter they're allowing that stuff because they lost half they were they they business became worth half so they trying to let anything go everything fly just to have people on there and and keep it alive keep it keep it going because they were about to go out of business a couple years ago about a year ago when when them stocks cut in half and so now the devil here had it out there and it just be the tribe i was talking my wife about it the other day i said well the devil can't get me you know uh directly so he tried to get me inadvertently i say look at some of this stuff being on my timeline i was telling my wife she was like oh you i bet you over there looking at it too and i'm like no child looking at that i say don't do nothing for me and truthfully it don't because i have not given into that so i beat that i beat that side of me and so what you have to understand is a man can grow he can change but see with humans we need accountability you started smoking weed because your friends smoke weed you started getting drunk and your friend was getting drunk you started scamming cause somebody you met was doing scams put you onto it you started doing fraud because somebody you met with doing fraud you started sleeping around cause somebody you met want to sleep with and introduce you to it or one of your friends told you that they did it they tried it and it was fun and that they liked it and it made more boy it made them boys like you mo so you started doing it so you got to go by go back to when you started allowing something and why you allowed it who introduced that to you and made it sound okay and why did you listen to them and it may be because you were vulnerable because you loved them because you wanted to love them because you wanted to please them because you want to fit in with them because you want to be with them whether it was a friend or a lover or a family member and so you have to look back at that and what what i need you to understand is that if you have standards this m the man you dealing with he's gonna learn from that so when i got my wife back and then we got married i said okay i gotta now let me do something that i want to do that she don't agree with to see if she gonna no i'm just gonna take my chance because we married now you can't leave now so i went back to the street life got me a little work from my cousin got in the streets hushing i'm selling it i'm getting all food and then i come home one day and my wife's saying we need to talk she said i told you i wouldn't be with a man that's going to be selling drugs she like i can't do it because i refuse to be with you and then you end up in prison and i'm a single mother so if i may end up a single mother i'm just finna leave anyways instead of trying to build a life with you and then being left high and dry now see i'm thinking back to this see the devil wanted me see right now i could be right now i could be in prison right now or i could be a kingpin had already done six seven years in the feds and and on this other side had my wife not took that stand there was nothing in my way to stop me from selling drugs there was nothing in my way like my cousin who gave me to work eventually got out the streets but i honestly believe because he started to get older having kids and then he also he looked at me and he saw i found a way out so he did the same thing i did he wrote a book and then he became a speaker and he tried to do the same thing i did because he saw like man he used to work up under me getting stuff from me and i look at what he doing now he making more money than me and i remember one time he came to me because i was a speaker and an author and i remember one time he came to me years ago and uh he was like and he started a trucking company and he wanted me to be the broker and he said cool man i'm trying to put some money in your pocket trying to help you out cool cause he went from an adult boy to investing in businesses the you know go legal and i said cuz oh i said cuz i make a half a million dollars a year he was like what the what what you said carl you mean to tell me you made a half a million a year i was like yeah girl how you do that i say call just speaking engagements books my book sale i'm a ghost writing everything because i got a lot of streams of income i'm like i got audio stuff out there on itunes i'm like i write people bulls i i do speaking in game i get endorsement deals the post on social media i'm like make a half million yeah now they were years ago now he was like what and i'll say yeah but see had my wife not said you i would not be with you if you're not gonna get out on the streets i wouldn't have got out the streets i did that because not because i wanted to get out and that's what a lot of women don't understand so many women say a man not gonna change till he want to change a man ain't gonna change till he want to change i barely want to change i wanted a little bit of change but i did that because i wanted my wife i wanted my wife and my child i ain't want to change that bad i wanted my wife and my child that's why i got out the streets and then i had to find something else to do so i said let me push this book that i just published a couple months ago that book ain't make no money that book weren't making no money so i said i'm gonna stay on this job as a group home counselor [Music] and i'm gonna keep pushing this book and then now i'm gonna try to get some speaking engagements then i'm trying to get some coaching start getting coaching clients and that's what changed my life so here i was in the streets i probably in the streets probably would have made at the level i was trying to stay at because i wasn't trying to go to prison and i wasn't trying to get killed at the level i was trying to stay at i probably at the most would have made a hundred thousand a year dirty money on average dope boys out there making thirty forty thousand it on average dope boy ain't making all that kind of money you have some that's touching 10 to 50 000 a week but it just they living off of a woman still or they got roommates so you see a lot of designers you think they got a lot of money ain't really a lot of money but if somebody making 1400 a week and all they do with it is shock it's gonna look like they making money they ain't making no money not no real money now that i know living legal and earning from my natural gifts now i know what real earnings is and that the streets we were broke in the streets even the kingpin was was broke compared to legal money that you see people out here getting today legally using their gifts and owning a company and providing services i i know credit repair people making millions you know hair stylist making six figures hair companies making six seven figures legally and so when my wife took that stand guess what that pushed me into purpose to change my life and so i i am who i am today because she would not stand for who i wanted to be and for who i was so that's why so she trained me up she taught me just by having her own standards so a lot of times women take that the wrong way and think that that i mean you a teacher in a classroom okay so okay right here we're gonna write manhood okay now the three things that comprise a man are integrity character i'm not talking about that i ain't talking about you you got to get up to the blackboard or you got to sit down the whole class when i say you teach a man when i say you train a man what i'm talking about is you knowing who you are you having your non-negotiables you having your standards to where you say absolutely no way play your absolutely you not yelling at me absolutely you're not cursing at me absolutely you're not telling me you calling me at a time and then don't call me absolutely you're not saying you coming over here a certain time then don't show up absolutely you're not cancelling another date you absolutely not finna cheat you absolutely not going to spirit club you're absolutely not going to be gambling you absolutely not me when you say no i refuse to be with a man that dude this this this this this if that man wants you he gonna change he might try you not you may have to leave him you can't say hey i'm leaving you for a week my wife never said that she never said i'm leaving you when she left in the marriage she was gone for three days that's what the 72-hour rule come from if you read the book a woman's influence make sure you get a woman's influence go ahead and get a woman's influence so hey y'all going right now today you got 25 dollars hey get this right here you're going to see you don't want you're going to learn something here now for those y'all who ready it's still got five stars to god be the glory y'all thank y'all for being honest and and for raiding the book five stars and for showing that love but that's what a 72-hour rule you see on the back they say the 72-hour rule the 72-hour rule come from when my wife was gone for three days she didn't say hey i'm leaving for three days to think she just gone i thought she was going for good i was blowing her phone up you hear me i saw on the movie a man called the woman 81 times i said all right i got to get the 81 phone calls i just kept calling all right calling hey i had i had to get my wife back you hear me and so listen to me that is why i think today i'm gonna have to go over how that is why i changed my life so women feeling powerless that's why the book is called a woman's influence because who i am today and doing what i'm doing today is because of her it's because of her influence yes it's because of god but it ain't god alone because god used people see god use people to bless you god use people to reach you some people try to come on sometimes i see people say well all you need is the holy bible no that's why god god don't see in the holy bible you're not going to see a specific scenario of a relationship that's spelled out it's not going to talk about in the bible uh should you argue over who's yelling the loudest over yelling or not at the soccer game the bible's not going to talk about that the bible's not going to talk about having a joint account and and how you have a how you manage a joint account in a relationship and how you manage your individual accounts so yes you can read some things in the bible and you can infer but that's why god raises up teachers that's why he had the bible written so that he used men to write the bible and he used women and their life for their life story to be shared in the bible so sometimes people come and they try to knock life coaches and teachers and speakers if y'all just read the bible and you won't need no life coaches you that read the bible that's why god give a gift of teaching the bible tell you you're going to have prop you have prophets you have teachers you have prayers you have leaders you have bishops it you there are different gifts certain people were given the gift of speaking in tongues not everybody was given that gift certain people was given the gift of prophecy not everybody was given that gift so what god does is god takes and he uses a woman to influence a man and see the devil emulates god so god uses a woman to influence a man and the devil uses women to influence a man because when the devil jump on a man back and he say hey hey watch a little bit of the hill but hey so this man had his inclination right that's that spirit talking to him then what happened is when he go to his woman or his woman catch him in it and then she okays it because her spirit has been stolen her spirit has been broken she's been defiled she's been violated she's been turned over to a reprobate mind so now the devil got hurt too so now she can say well you know i don't see anything wrong with that you know i know it's people out here like it's tony gaskins talking about that men should not watch horn but it's like as long as you're not going and finding that woman and trying to physically sleep with her i don't see anything wrong that you're in your comfort of your own home we can have some fun with it we can watch that let there be a role play and then we can do it and see what that woman don't understand is that she don't understand the nature of men is that that's not that video is not gonna be enough that video is not gonna be enough he's feeding lust and now he's gonna get on the hunt and he's gonna go he might not find bumblebee triple x but he's gonna find him next to ken up here at the grocery store he finna bump into a woman look like her and he going to get him but see the woman don't understand that because she don't understand the nature of men she don't understand the nature of human being she think that a man gonna have the same control she have men and women are different men we not the same that's why we got different body parts we not the same you can have different body parts in different dna and different features and be the same person no we look at life differently we handle temptation differently men are not like women so you have to understand the nature of a man and then when you do that now you start to get a breakthrough and when you understand that it's not about you teaching and training him it's about you knowing you and it's about that you are a catalyst that's just your place in the world you can't fight that you're a catalyst you're a catalyst in a men in a man's life you're a catalyst in your children life you're a catalyst in the world you're the backbone of society you're the backbone of the world and see the same reason why the white man put the black man down is the same reason why the men put women down you try to control and suppress that which you fear because when you look at it and you see the greatness in it you don't want that what you have it to recognize the greatness within him or her because if he or she recognize the greatness within them you know that that person is called to rule you know that that person is called to greatness you know that that person and you start to see them as a threat so the reason why society has brainwashed women to be weak and docile and feel less than is because men see the excellence and the brilliance of a woman and know that a woman could run the world know that a woman could be the president of the united states men know that because men see with the majesty a woman runs a household running the country is no different than running a household it's just a big house then you see how that who which is in office runs it terribly so there you know then how terrible he will run a household but see a man can look at a woman and see her excellence and see her greatness so what so what a man will try to do what a grown boy try to do is try to suppress that and strip that and steal that from you because he know you will have more influence in his life than he'll have in yours that's what men know that's what i'm talking about in the book of women's influence i had to come to terms with myself as a man and i had to just be real and when i started to look at how fearful and fearfully and wonderfully created a woman is i had to realize like wow lord lord you one fell you want fat when you made the creation because this woman got more power influence than than i do the woman got more influence in my life than i got in her life yeah i got some influence on her life but she got mole in my life and that's every woman but women have been stripped of that and do not understand that and so women bow down to the man i ain't saying you got to fight them ain't saying you got to cuss them out ain't saying you got to dethrone them ain't saying you got to try to run everything what i'm saying is you got to stand on your square and refuse to be knocked off you got to know what you know you got to know that you don't want no man that's in the pawn you got to know that you don't want no man that gamble you got to know that you don't want no man that curse you out call you out your name that don't keep his word that's lazy and sorry and don't got no ambition you got to know that you don't want no atheist that you don't want no non-believer that you want you a christian man that love the lord that fear the lord that's working and trying to serve the lord trying to get close to the lord you got to know what you want and when you know what you want and you refuse to settle for less guess what if the if the man is for you he's going to elevate to the level that you need him to be on you hear what i'm telling you when i met my wife i was making twenty thousand dollars a year on my job you hear me but i didn't elevate it because she stood her ground and she refused to let me just be settled in being a dope boy being in the streets trying to hustle for some extra money outside of working my dead end job she said no use your gifts she told me i had to write a book she told him rachel book and she published a book for me she self-published the self-published my first book what daddy never told a little girl that was my wife money from school because she had scholarship so she would get a refund check because she had more money than what it cost to go to school so she would get the rest in a check not alone now it was scholarship and it would track money she was on track team and she had scholarships and grants and so she every semester in august she would get a ten thousand dollar check and in january she would get a ten thousand dollar check not money that she owed back now little free money for her and out of that money she gave me sixteen hundred dollars to publish my book she gave me the money i published the book february 1st 2007 and then i gave her my behind the kiss in june 2007 when i went back to the streets and then she gave me her behind the kiss when she said i'm out of here and then i begged her back and then when i got her back i realized this woman she left me once in dating when she said we need to take a break she actually left i really want no break because i would be in control and then she left me once in marriage when i went back to the streets so now i realize she gave me a second chance to date and now she didn't give me a second chance in marriage i know that if this woman left me off of this stuff and this was not cheating this was not beating this was not cursing her out like this stuff wasn't even that bad like i'm like this ain't i'm like it's way worse happening out here than that now men are here having whole babies on a woman and they want me stand i'm like so if she leave me off of this oh my goodness if i do something real she's definitely gonna be gone you know what i'm telling you so i knew then i had to grow and i had to change so that's what i'm here to tell you understand this it's not about getting it through your mind now and if you see somebody that don't get this it's because they didn't get to this part of the video it's not about you training a man it's not about you teaching a man i say that because that's what's happening but it's not about you holding class it's about you knowing who you are and refusing to compromise your morals and your values it's about you standing on what you believe in and not allowing the world to normalize buffoonery and coonery and tom dashery all of this stuff that the world is saying is normal and everybody do it threesome foursomes drug love gambling porn smoking weed everything that the world is saying is normal that you knowing your spirit is not healthy and is not normal because if it was healthy and normal you would have been doing it as a child now some of y'all was doing that child but you know that you was raised by savages or you was left to yourself or you was in a bad neighborhood with people who was misinformed misguided not being raised people just growing but not being raised so you know that it was not right the lessons that you received you know in your heart that it's not pure stick to what you know is right and what you believe and then the man who wants to be in your life will have to adapt and adjust and when he adapts and adjusts he will fulfill his righteous calling he will be pushed into purpose because you refuse to settle which there entail means he cannot settle so when he has to step into his greatness into his fullness in order to be in your life now it betters the both of you it betters your relationship and it helps and it heals and it makes everything different now you step into what you were called to be so now my wife and i our lifestyle our life our blessings the life that we have built is so far removed from what we first had when i was looking to settle and i was looking to be a grown boy and had she allowed me to do that she had she said all right just go ahead and sell drug because we do need the extra money and it is almost legal and ain't nobody getting caught for that and they ain't even giving people time for that no more especially at the level that you're doing it at you won't even get caught with enough to even really get into real time you're going to get put on rope patient go ahead and do it so many women have done that so many women do that every day right now while we speaking somebody watching this video and they and they man still in the streets scamming or selling drugs and they and they dealing with it because they think because he told her this what he got to do to make it the world ain't fair and this all he got that's the only option she he got and she believed in him she believe in it and because she don't feel like starting over she don't want to leave him but they got a child together they got multiple children together they've been together for a year two years five years seven years ten years he's saying this is the only way i he can't get no job so she believe in it guess what my wife could have believed it too and i'd have still been doing it today if not for prison or the grave if i won if i wouldn't be in prison or gray i'll probably still be doing the same thing if she allowed me to do it because see people need reinforcement your child probably want to eat skittles all day if you let your child eat skittles all day then all their teeth gonna be gone by the age of 10 if you let them eat skittles all day but when you say no you cannot sit and eat candy then they say oh all right okay you can't alright eat the broccoli all right you want to get on that game eat the broccoli so now now you rewire them that's the same thing with human of all ages when you want to take a shortcut and do something that may feel comfortable or pleasurable in the moment because you don't understand that pleasure leads to pain not to happiness but then when you are stopped and you are held accountable and and you said no you cannot do this and if you do this this is the consequence the speed limit is 55 you go 70 you're gonna get a ticket every time you're gonna get a ticket for 200 after x amount of tickets your license gonna be suspended you're not gonna be able to drive you get caught driving without the license you're going to jail you see what i'm saying is consequences so why don't we drive 70 in a 55 because it's a 55 and there's consequences that's human nature that's human nature humans need accountability humans need to be held accountable humans need standards human needs rules so if you don't have rules and you don't have standards in your life as it relates to a man he gonna do whatever you allow him to do and a good man yes a good man will because a good man was a bad man a grown man was a grown boy who was held accountable that's that's when you see when you see me oh i want a man that's just like tony no i was sorry i was terrible i'm this man because of my wife is it a man not going to just change on his own that's why god made a woman if a man could just do everything on his own it wouldn't be no need for no women men would not get married men get married because they see a better version of themselves men get married because they want an accountability partner men get married because they they know that they can achieve greatness with the love and support of their woman and vice versa that that woman can achieve greatness with the love and support of the man one hand watch the other you scratch my back i scratch your back now we both got a back feeling good all right don't get mad get get glad scratch your booty get glad okay so so now this is what it is being realized and so as long as you as a one long as you as a woman run from your calling of strength and dignity and standing your ground as long as you run from your calling of and yes it's painful but or it could be annoying or frustrating to have to be responsible to be the responsible and you like oh why i got to be responsible why the man can't be the responsible one wow i just wanna do hood rat stuff with my friends like the little boy said and i know you feel like that sometimes but god called you the greater that's why he gave you the influence he gave you the influence so when you know who you are and you walk in who you are you got that influence and it's going to it's going to move mountains it's going to change lives and see this what i want i want women to realize their greatness i want women to realize their greatness see our world needs the woman our world in order to be at its best needs women screen record this put this on your facebook and instagram the last little part in order for our world to be its best the world needs women to realize and understand their greatness and when a woman realizes that god did not make a mistake when she was fearful and wonderfully created and a woman walks in what she was created to be and do and stands her ground and stopped letting men run over her and take advantage of her and lie to her and use her and misuse her but stand her ground a man gonna have to get right or get left behind he gonna have to get right or get left he gonna have to step up in your life or get the stepping out of your life you hear what i'm telling you so don't run from and say oh i'm waiting on the man to be mature first you'll be dead you'll die first if you're waiting on a man to get it to the other no you are a part of the equation you are the catalyst you are the x factor you are the reason he gets it together that's what you got to understand that's why god said this man need help let me create woman that's that's that's what it was so don't run from that i know you fatigue i know you're tired i know you're stressed but listen you was created with the conditioning to run this race so do it for yourself you ain't doing it for a man you ain't doing it to get a man or the keeper man love yourself have your standards and you stand ten toes down and this man gonna realize he gonna have to do the same if he wanna be in your life hey this tony gaskin god bless you this my first time ever on a teaching video going over an hour but this one need to be said i probably have to say this 10 more times because no matter how much i say it so many women feel like that i'm taking the responsibility off of the man and putting it on the woman when in fact what i'm doing is i'm talking to a woman when i talk to a man i put the responsibility on the man i got plenty of videos on here that's four men and you're gonna hear me go at the men and i'm hard on the men and i'm real with the men but there's also a responsibility of a woman and that is to know who you are and stop compromising your morals and your values for the sake of a relationship stand on your ground stand on your beliefs and do not give that up and so is responsibility for a man it's responsibility for a woman but what you're going to realize is that as a woman when you stand on when you stand firm on what you believe you have greater influence and you influence the man in your life which in turn influences your household which in turn influences the world you got more power than you give yourself and that's what i'm trying to tell you so stop getting angry and getting frustrated thinking that the man getting off scot-free no the man gonna have to pay a price men got to pay a price man got the answer to god for what for what we're doing wrong for being sorry man got the answer to that but don't you can't worry about the man getting heels you got to worry about you doing what you call to do and as long as you do what you call to do then everything that's for you you're gonna get it that's why my my wife has the life that she have she got everything that she could want and need spiritually emotionally physically financially everything because she refused to compromise her morals and her values and her self-respect and so that created the life that she dreamt of that created the life that other women dream of and it's because she refused to compromise so that pushed me into purpose that pushed me into greatness and when you understand that and you stop being angry and frustrated and just trying to put it all on the man and say oh you need to be a man no when you become a woman as well then the man who is ready and willing and the man who deep down see deep down i had to want this i wasn't totally against it i just honestly needed to see a better way i honestly need to be held accountable so yeah it was deep down yeah i wasn't ready yeah i wouldn't did it by myself but because i had an accountability partner that would not accept less from me it made me who i am today hey that's what i need you to understand get it in your spirit and before you argue before you argue from your pain before you argue from your frustration before you speak from your from your frustration and your pain and everything you fed up with and you tied with listen to this video three times listen to the video three times sit on it pray on it and you'll hear what i'm telling you i'm not absolving the man of his responsibility but a message needs to be directional it can't go every every way and read something in order to set that blade of grass on fire with that magnifying you got to stay focused on it so right now the message is for you and this what you as a woman need to do and then i have messages for men and what men need to do i got a whole course called men healing talking to men on what they need to do so get what's for you do what you got to do and then in other videos we gonna address the man and what he got to do and then the two gonna come together and then we doing what we got to do and that's going to change our world hey this is tony gatson god bless you we'll talk soon

Channel: Tony Gaskins

Views: 62,155

Rating: 4.9433198 out of 5

Keywords:

Id: BiI-r0wVAMo

Length: 82min 30sec (4950 seconds)

Published: Tue Oct 13 2020