A man and YOUR money! | Tony Gaskins

hey tony guys here want to pop in and touch on something i've dealt with this last couple weeks and that is a man in your money talking to a woman because today what what you see happening is so many women back in the day long time ago you know women weren't allowed to work or some women would work but it would be like you know as a maid or office assistant it would be like little admin jobs in the early 1900s you know even 1950s 60s so on you know waiter stuff like that but today a woman can be the president we have a woman who was the vice president of the united states so women can go as high as a woman wants to go and with that so many women are starting businesses if you missed the interview i did last saturday with the young lady she is able to earn if she's working and grinding and you know doing her what she does she's able to earn millions of dollars over a million dollars a year it's not a lot of men that's going to be able to match that unless they got the same type of grind and hustle and go get a attitude and so a lot of women are becoming degree holders and when you get a degree it does establish you for jobs in the marketplace and that masters and that doctorate yes there's certain jobs that you have to have a degree and just like climbing the ranks inside of a company like you could go be a school teacher but the principal of the school typically has a master's degree and so when you look at it a lot of women are graduating at a much higher rate now than men and a lot of men trying to work with their hands and do stuff like that but a lot of women still climbing the ranks and so with that in the dating scene you're going to see today a lot of women who are bread winners who are the ones who earn more than the man and that is a very dangerous situation for a woman and the reason being is because the only thing a man enjoys as much or more than sex is money that's it see a man from the time he wakes up to the time he goes to sleep a man is thinking about money how much money can he make and money money money money how to make it how to you know how to spend it a man is focused on money especially when the sex is already built in and that's gonna come and see men don't have sex every day but have to make money every day look for a way to make money every day so it so when you really look at it money means more to a man than a woman than sleeping with a woman and so that's just where it is and if you look around and you pay attention you'll notice what i'm telling you if you look at some of the men you've been dated or men you know you'll see that they're more money focused if you're in a relationship right now ask yourself how many times do we sleep together you don't sleep together seven days a week you know you don't sleep together five days a week if y'all do y'all nasty like little bunny rabbits need to go check into somebody's uh hospital for the sex edition but you don't sleep together five days a week but how many days does this man go to work if he's a working man at least five some six some seven so he that means he actually focus on money more than being between your legs and a lot of women don't understand this now i believe some women do but they kind of maybe look at it like well look i don't have this going for me i don't have that going for me i might as well let this money go for me and so it's a lot of women today that's buying a man and you don't want to do that you don't want to do that because that man will take every dime that you have and he will destroy you and he will leave you high and dry he will divorce you and then you will be paying him alimony you'll be paying him child support you'll be paying him spousal support ask mary j blige ask women who earn more than a man and then go through a divorce they paying that man spousal support and he never wanted them to begin with he was there for the money it's so many men that can be bought we see we see you think women we've always called women the gold digger but men could be bought now there was a certain time to where men did not want a woman who earned more than them men would be like new on the bread when i got to be the bread winner i got to bring home the bacon i got to be able to provide for my family i need to be financially able and ready to provide for this family i don't want a woman earning more than me because that made me feel less than a man because it's my place as a man to be able to pay for the dinners be able to pay for the groceries be able to pay the bills that's how men used to be today men will kick their feet up so fast man a kid they feed up and then we'll have the audacity to manage your money how to audacity see not listen see let's uh because he's not i don't know what one thing you gotta say about me see i'm from the street and see one thing with us what we do is we know how to manage money because when i used to have to flip it to get it and i used to have to turn an ounce into a pound listen that right there took budgeting understand that right now because that's one thing about me coming from the screen that took budgeting so now what you got going on you don't know how to manage no money i can already see that i already see that right now you know how to make no money you know what you know how didn't have the money no money you ever had to turn an ounce to a pound all right then you don't know what you're doing a man will come in can you spell currency and want to manage your hard-earned money want to be the ceo of the companies you have started that's why you see these men like winnie williams husband i think that she just went through a divorce with i think he was a manager you seen all the actress monique her husband her manager these men come in on tomorrow braxton her husband what's her manager i think these men come in and want to manage something barely could walk into bubble gum kane bend down and tie these shoes huffing and puffing going up one flight of stairs and then want to manage somebody come on i know brother you're not gonna manage me but that's what's going on so today let me tell you as a woman you got to protect your coins you got to protect don't let a man experience your money don't let him experience your money inside of a year he shouldn't experience your money because if he takes your money if he takes your money you no longer know if that man wants you or he wants your money i'm a man that used to be my goal that's how i know how these men think it's just that god flipped the script on me but my goal was to be a stay-at-home dad so i know in and out how they think because listen to me when my wife told me she was a biomedical science major oh so oh so what'd you do with that she said she wanted to build i look well i just saw couches i saw feet up i saw a kid running around i saw check direct deposit i s i just saw me swiping her card and living lavish off her doctor salary you hear me yes i was a grown boy but the lord grabbed me did some of my heart flipped it and now it's the other way around my wife don't work for nobody she worked with me inside of our companies she didn't work for nobody and it's me taking and doing courses and doing speaking and doing books and doing things like that and earning and and she managing it you see on it so that's how god will do you when you know the lord lost that child you're not feeling to get over you're not finna get off like that no son i got something to do for you but a lot of y'all dealing with the devil children you ain't dealing with a child of god he he'd been turned over to reprobate mind so if he talking with the lord walking with the lord trying to live for the lord then the lord ain't going to do a work in him the way he becomes the breadwinner no he's going to stay in the same position he is eating off for you in front of eating the crumbs from your table but see when he know the lord not a lot boo all right hey my daughter queen she could work if she wanna work but i want her to be able to focus on what she want to focus on in and out of season so she want to focus on the kids right now so she could be there with them let me see that right now oh hey i gotta pop up i ain't got this thing set on do not disturb that man said don't do nothing y'all forgive him thought i put my thing on do nothing stir i had a pop-up pop up i'm asking for a password somebody trying to hack my phone man and so the lord said hey my daughter so right now my wife it is a full-time job with these two sons it's full-time managing the house is full time like to be honest with you that's a lot of work you know and that's what she want to do i'm told look you want to go be a doctor go ahead you could do that you know don't be a doctor she said no no not right now because i'm not trying to work 40 60 80 hours a week i'm not trying to study 16 hours a day right now why we got two sons like if i want to do that i'll probably be a doctor without borders the ones that go to the different third world countries and provide health care you know free of charge and you doing it through a foundation or something she said i'm gonna do it like that as a passion but right now being that this is our life i need to be there for them be a hundred percent locked in and so that's what the lord did but see if you dealing with an everyday man who don't know the lord ain't never really knew the lord ain't trying to get to know the lord then he gonna stay where he at and you're gonna be being used for your money now some of y'all don't care some of y'all don't care some of y'all like listen i ain't got the buddha i used to have i ain't got the breath i used to have if i got to buy me a man i got to buy me a man i just don't want to sleep alone so if i got to pay for his meals and if i got to pay his bills and invest in his little raggedy business ideas that are so terrible and they keep failing i'm gonna just do that just so i can have me a warm body that's what some of y'all doing and that's what you saying without saying it that's what you saying without saying that's the worst thing you could do in the world that's the worst thing you could do in the world because see with a man a man would use you had you hind drive and i haven't seen this situation happen over and over well man come in and before you know it he trying to steal money from the woman before you know it he's spending all the woman money before you know it and this money she didn't work hard for he's spending all her money he's stealing from him he's trying to scam him because men don't love the way women love to begin with so it take a man a long time to fall in love longer than it take a woman so a man will come in and you'll think that's your man and really that's your enemy and you sleeping with the enemy you got an enemy behind the lines and your whole financial future is at risk because he mapping and he planted and he finna siphon all that money from you and he know that you're gonna be so down and out and depressed and worried that you're not gonna have the energy to go hire a lawyer and take him to court you just gonna chalk it up and say well imma earn more so i'm gonna just let him get what he gonna get this man will gamble your money away he'll spend your money he'll be spending your money on other women and the reason why the reason why this happens too is because most men have not come to terms with seeing a woman as his equal most men have a problem with a woman earning more because they see a woman as less than they see the woman as less capable so when a woman earns more it's like the man looking like how are you less than me how are you weaker than me the bible say the woman is a weaker vessel so the man saying well how are you the weaker vessel but your money is stronger than mine this ain't adding nothing to me how you the weaker vessel but your credit's stronger than mine this ain't adding up so it's it's it's upsetting him so what this man does is instead of becoming your teammate he becomes your opponent and he wants to help destroy you even though y'all in the same household he want to break you down and he want to spend all your money and he want to stress and depress you so that you become dependent on him and you said well tell that ain't a grown man that ain't kind of man don't be with that's a that's a grown boy you right but that's what's out here if you meet 10 men eight of them gonna be grown boys so you still got to be able to recognize this because you gotta invert a grown boy into a grown man this grown you're gonna meet a grown boy on average and he grows into a grown man i told you about my mindset that's why i'm transparent to let y'all know i ain't just wake up like this i ain't that wake up a good man i ain't just wake up no faithful man with good intentions no i grew into this because my parents introduced me to jesus christ at the age of six years old so i had an anchor in my life see i they train me up the way that i should go so that when i was old i would not depart from it what the holy bible said so because i had a foundation i could get back to that foundation had i not know knew god then i would have been a lost cause so i was back in a backslidden state the devil had his hand on me he was trying to sift me like wheat he come to steal kill and destroy and that's what he was there to do but he couldn't get me because of what my parents had already taught me and introduced me to so that's what you have to understand does your man have the foundation to where he really knows spiritually who he is and who he should become even though he may be struggling or in a backslidden state that's what you got to ask yourself if not then you got a man who's been turned over he for the streets he got community dangling and that's not the type of man that you ought to be dealing with your money and when you meet this man if it's new he ought to be now about perfect because if he's showing you red flags already he already smoking or he already drinking too much he already gambling he already spin bad if he's showing you that right now before he had full access to your earning potential you can only imagine how but while he gonna go when y'all become one and y'all got a joint account and then you want a man so bad that if you're not willing to have a joint account he gonna be like oh i don't want to be with you then because you don't want to have a joint account that means we not one that means we too that means you don't trust me oh i don't want to be with you then if you still want to manage and control all the money yes you earn more than me but i'm the man and in the order of god is god the man the woman so i should be the head of the finances and i should be able to make decisions in the fight this is what he's gonna be telling you i should be able to make decisions in the finance what i have to ask you and beg you and check for you because we want and because i love you and so what's yours is mine and what's mine is yours yeah but you ain't got nothing that she needs you bringing enough to the table tomorrow mine and yours you barely got a shirt on your back so you can't provide her no clothes and shelter yo what's mine is your what do you got to give her a driver license the only thing you got in your name is a driver license so what you gonna do with that she she could take your driver like she get arrested and go to jail for false identity do you have a house that her name could be put on the deed do you got uh some retirement accounts that her name could be put on there as a beneficiary do you got you a nice insurance policy that she could be a beneficiary like what are you bringing to the table now see some men he they'll be bringing something but if they're not bringing what you're bringing so it's like you bringing the turkey you bringing the stuffing you're bringing the cranberry sauce he's bringing orange juice we don't want no orange juice on thanksgiving you see what i'm saying that's the equivalent of it he bringing the punch that's a dollar punch and you just mix three one dollar punches up and call it your special card that ain't what we come here for he got no champagne he got no expensive wine that's been in the cellar for 10 years come on man so that's the equivalent of what he brings to the relationship he bringing us to the relationship and you bringing all this to the relationship and he well you know i just believe in submitting to a man so it's like yes i earn more to him but i don't want to step on his toes i don't want to step on his ego and so it's like i'm just going to let him manage the money and i'm just going to let him give me an allowance give him an allowance and just let him pay the bills and just i'm not worrying about who's paying what it's like all our money going into one account what are you crazy what are you crazy did man do you like burning madoff you know who bernie madoff feels look him up look him up burning made off i think he's still in prison the man took all everybody money taking everybody money you ain't got that much money that he took but this man take all this money this man i had your money now see listen to me because he listen did not listen to me because there's one thing about because he me you already know where i'm from see listen i know how to invest so this one i'm gonna do we're gonna take what you're earning all right we're gonna move it over here to this account and then you just let me do what i do you know everything you got right now watch watch what i tell you watch what i tell you that's what he gonna tell you and so you just you uneasy about it but you you you struggling with submission you're struggling with these words that you don't heard you struggling with ephesians 5 where i say wives submit unto your husbands as unto the lord now he want to print it out he then printed it out he he he left the part off about husband love your wives as christ loved the church he just want to print that out why submit them to your husband adam said you know what hey you know joshua will say as for me and my house we gonna serve lord so we serving the lord but this right here this right here got to be the cornerstone of our relationship why because see i'm gonna tell you something about today the problem with today is too many women don't wanna submit so look this ain't really nothing about you i just want to put this scripture up just for like for me too just to understand that i got a queen and then i got a woman that is willing to submit and that just remind me because then that helped me know how i got to treat you because we looking at this scripture wives submit until your husband as unto the lord and so that right now that's going to be the cornerstone of our relationship [Music] so that what he didn't sold you that's what he sold you and you like you your southern baptists met a of me coget you know all your church upbringing everything you struggling with you dealing with this and you like yeah i need to submit it he is a man and i don't want to step on his toes and i don't want it y'all got to forgive him i got too much moisturize on today i don't want to step on his toes and i don't want to ah you know i'm just gonna let them be the man just let them handle fine but then it's like listen now you still you're going into the relationship and y'all not really equal because some of y'all will say you ain't talking to me because i don't care i don't care he's not gonna have access to my money he's not gonna be investing my money he's not gonna be spending my money the money that i don't work hard for businesses i had before i met him he's not gonna be touching that without my permission and he ain't going to be doing all this and that so but then it's like that's still going to be a riff in your marriage he's still going to harp on that so that's still going to destroy your marriage so you really don't get no cookie for that like what you want to cook no you don't get no cookie for that because that just means that you ought to be in a place to where the man make enough money that you trust and feel comfortable that he know what to do with the money that you earn and that y'all could be part to see me my wife she managed to finance she managed to find out yes i could do it but you know i delegate that and she do that i know in a lot of households the men manage the money my wife manage the money because i just really don't care nothing about it and all of our earning go into a joint account and it's some other accounts you know where business accounts and stuff go to to their accounts but all of what we live out of it going to a joint account she see that and she get paid out of that every day she get paid out of that off the gross off the top and so that and she and what she get paid out of that she can do whatever she want to do because all the bills paid for out of that joint account so her money that she gets she can spend how she want to do the money that i get i can spend how i want to do and that joint account pay the bills that's how we do it i got personal accounts she got personal account but all the money go to one account first then it go like this and it ain't like oh i created this tony guys academy so that mean i need to be my allowance need to be this and yours need to be this no it ain't like that we won but you need to be in a situation that you feel comfortable merging with this man so i feel comfortable doing this because i'm a man i also realize and understand that at any given time my wife could be the sole winner just like if she become like a aisha curry one day she's not into trying to do brand deals trying to blog trying to vlog because she focused on being a mother and so she's not trying to spread herself too thin right now because she got a man that can handle business and that can provide a lifestyle and a living so she could focus on being the absolute best mother in the world to our underage sons when they at the house then it's like then she might want to start her clothing line or she might want to start blogging and vlogging regular and start you know doing endorsement deals and sponsorship deals and things of that nature but right now that's not her focus so i realized at that point i might be stale like an old dorito that's been left out the bag i might be stale when my sons go to college people might be tired of hearing me i might be untouched on every topic i could think of and i ain't got no more topics and all i can do is answer emails do do talks with tony but i might be stale but then she might be like well boom hey we want to give you a cookware line hey we want to do your clothing line hey we want to do a makeup line with you hey we want to sponsor your vlog sponsor your blog do what she might be making millions so i realized that so i'm not gonna say no i'm finna do like this and do like this and control because what if the table will turn i would want her to love and trust me so so that's me as a man taking initiative when you as a woman you first have to realize that you don't fully understand me you also have to realize that you don't fully understand the way men see money and uh see if my wife go to earn and offer her name her brand i still ain't gonna be trying to take control of money because that's just it don't move me i could go broke every single day i could spend every dime i got every single day and i'd be fine and i wake up the next day and i know the lord clove the lilies of the field feed the files of the air i know he gonna provide for me so i'm not really worried about that but yes do i like to earn money yes do i worry about money yes do i try to earn and set records yeah absolutely i absolutely love earning but it's not going to control me one thing i noticed though is that with us men we can and if money funny oh man but we in our feeling women too but men on a whole another level in our feeling man i'll be hey what's wrong with you right nine ain't no i'm good man to be salty i could tell when my homeboy is money funny hold demeanor off whole demeanor off so you have to understand as a woman when you dealing with a man money turned him on more than you turn him on money turn him on differently than you money affect him differently than it affects you so when you got money if he has not found a way to earn money and he don't see a clear path on how he's going to earn money and and be able to get it without you having to help him too much then you become a meal ticket and see the way of my a man mind work he will play the role he will fake it and he will be that arm candy that you've been desperate for you've been wanting you a ding-a-ling in a jar that you just could whip out and take care of yourself whenever you get ready so he'll be that you've been wanting your arm candy so when you want to go on a date when you want to go on a trip you got him he'll be that so i'm popping up on my computer forgiven there but it trying to hack me all kind of way um he'll be there you just want to say you got a man you want you a man that you could post on social media because you've been tired of being single for years since now you're so happy to be able to have somebody to post he'll be that because what he envisioned he envisioned his brand new car once he get good enough good good with you he know you gonna buy him his dream car he he envisioned in the house he gonna be living in this palatial house that you done built he envisioned he envisioned all the vacations he gonna take but this would he know he knows that you got to earn because you grind so he know why you grinding and you fall in love because he been so perfect that he gonna be able to step out and cheat oh yeah i'm working on me hey i'm trying to work on me so it's like i got to go out here to vegas for this conference before the 100 black men conference out there and just work on me yeah he got that babes all right somebody else taking a flight from charlotte from detroit from atlanta meeting right out there he he at the one woman conference out there in that hotel room told you he's going to the 100 men come here in the hotel room one woman might be two women because how they get down out there so here and then call you hey baby what's going on oh man i'm just learning so much just like just roi you know roi okay you already know and just learning about ira uh you know our okay you already know yeah and just learning you know fico you know what if i call me fico mean the frederick isaac correctional officer that's what he was before he started doing credit yeah oh my god i'm just learning something just learning so much but oh my goodness i got another breakout session man they working us today baby i love you i love you thank you so much for trusting me let me come out here today for this 100 black man karma i love you i'ma call you right later all right guys hey you need to understand what i have to do because what i'm doing with her and her money this you you finna say something and that's why i told you you got to know your place see i got to be with her for at least five years for the prenup to be activated then boom because she putting on a prenup because she makes so much money but what boom five years we are all the time all right uh five and a half years i'mma let one argument blow up boom net thing you know irreconcilable differences boom i'm paid out boom i get half we right now we already got about 40 real estate properties now we already got about 10 companies we start i get half and then i can be with you cause you know you're the one i really wanted and i wanted you this whole time so you gotta understand sometimes a man have to do what a man have to do so jeff be patient with me just be patient with me i i'm counting the days i got four years six months and 28 days until i could activate the plan and then me and you but we gonna get to do this because i'm gonna go to a conference every month all you do just meet me now boom she give me allowance get to my own account to where i don't put it this thing let me tell you what i did let's see me you know i'm from screen so we don't get transparency so what i did that's what i told him i told her this all our money go into a joint account because you know i'm trying to do construction i try to tow cars i'm trying to you know watch call detail try to do all kinds of stuff so cause i'm a hustler there's one thing about me so what i told her it's all our money going to a joint account but we have to have transparency i mean we got to have trust so her allowance gets sent to her my allowance gets sent to me and what i told is i'm not gonna check your money and your account i don't wanna see your personal account what you do with that and you don't check mine because we got to build trust that's how i'm paying your rent every month because of what i done built so you gotta understand what i'm trying to build i'm taking you that right now that right there is high go down that right that's how i go down so this man who got with you and he saw your money see you let him experience your money before he fell in love with you it take a man two years to fall in love he may have love for you eight months a year in but to fall in love the minimum time frame for a man to fall in love is two years two years and that's a good-hearted sweethearted man that's a passive man two years just how many bill most men a lot of men never fall in love and on your average man it's going to be four to five years to fall in love so your question is so you mean tell me men get married before yes well why would he get married if he's not in luck the society societal norms what his mama keep telling him to do he doing it for his mama keep saying i want to have grandkids when you're going to get married and give me some grandkids tired of waiting or when you're going to get married you got three four kids with three four different women when you're gonna settle down to be a respectable man every time i'm going to bingo my friends ask me how you doing and i got to tell them he would another woman that he's sleeping with i'm protecting and they gonna end up with another child another baby mama and still ain't gave me no daughter-in-law i got already got granted so that's why men get married before falling in love because that's what society tells us to do so you have to understand that so this man when you let him experience your money now he becomes a scavenger now he becomes a vulture now he's starting to plot and he started to plan because you didn't ex because you telling yourself oh well i like the little certain way i got a lot of little lifestyle i need a little i gotta have a certain lifestyle so if i would pay my own weight if he can't do this can't do that i'm fine so now he gets experience your level of living so that right there the average man you think is going to motivate him no that demoralize him because he he realized he can't catch up he can't because if he could catch up he'll already be there so he's looking like i'm not gonna be able to earn what she earned i might as well just throw in the towel and just figure out a way i'm gonna ride her coattail okay so let me start plotting this scheme all right what i got to do okay all right monday night rubber feet tuesday night liquor net wednesday night suck on toad third tonight cook down on friday night play with a kid you said what i'm saying so he come up with his plan to just get you all the way relaxed get you all the way comfortable you falling in love you falling in love that's because you don't understand a man's motivation you think he motivated by you he motivated by who ain't nothing that you doing on your bike that ain't already been done for him unless he a virgin he hasn't seen it all done at all ain't nothing special about what you think you got going on oh tony he trusts me he never had none of this the way i put it down you see the muscles in his neck oh trust me he didn't had it all ain't none you doing that's special you not motivating him he motivated by your monty and i see this what you gotta understand everything is relative so don't think just because you earned forty thousand fifty thousand that hang with you for your money listen if he earned 20 or if he earned zero or twelve thousand or his credit score is you know people that weigh more than his credit score meaning that's how low it is that you got friends and family that can stand on the scale and that scale is a higher number than his credit score then you having a 700 oh he know that that's power he know y'all gonna be able to get cars y'all gonna be able to get houses y'all gonna be able to get anything y'all want so he see that just like he see money because now he know you could put him on your credit card and that's gonna raise his credit see when you introduce a man to your level see when you meet a man you gotta let him court you what can he do for you and you got to see if you comfortable with that first you got to see if you comfortable what can he do what can he afford for y'all to go out to eat this steak tastes like ache like stomachache mistake like without the st it tastes like ache because of me i my god i'm starting to get hot in here do you show this meat good this tastes like it got mike got mad cow what's the name of this restaurant el papolito i'd like to go to stk this is what you going through oh no that's where he at are you comfortable with that because whether something happened to you what if something happened to you you had your surgery what if something happened to you you disabled but now you gotta live on the level that he can provide he's taking you to el papolito so they meet been saying not too long he you used to eat that stk and and 112 and ocean prime and all of that that anyway he at vacation where can he take you on a vacation where y'all going y'all going to daytona beach to that hotel that was built in 1920 and y'all got to do that six hour tour or the hotel to get y'all two nights three days so y'all do that six hour tour then you gotta go sit down at the table i know i know i haven't seen this honestly so now you got to sit down at that table and you got to argue now y'all got to argue with the sales person about why this timeshare is worth it and you said no i just want to come to the beach sir listen sir i don't mean listen i i know i'm supposed to be submitting to the lord and all that right there i don't mean step in your toe sir listen we don't listen he can't afford no timeshare and we all ready to share too much time with this six hour tour and you showed us the same three rooms six times sir we have to go unfortunately we got to go by so what you need to do when you meet a man let him see what kind of boat he could put you on y'all like in a kayak [Music] let him show you where he could take you to eat let him show you what he can take you on vacation so now you see if y'all really compatible and i see i tell y'all like this right here i always say don't judge a man buy his money judging by his character but you got to be okay with that it got to be a balance so if you go eat a el pablito and this carne asada is kind of a little asada without the carne then you got to be okay with that because with his character now if he a good person and you see that he on his million dollar plan that he grinding and he going to get it and he going to be going up you going to fall in love with him so much and his hustle and his grind and just his ambition that you okay going a little slower and you okay still making your money six figures but you letting him show you where he at first he really don't even know he shouldn't even know what you earn he see what you do but when he google that what you get paid there's different scales so he really don't fully know you see i'm telling you so you see what he had just in case something was to happen with you you still got to be comfortable with this man and the lifestyle that he could provide and if he is not where or going where you comfortable riding with him then you may you got to rethink some things because if his ambition is not where it need to be then you know he's going to set sights on your money on your trajectory on your future and he going to ride your coattail so you you realize that you know that and so you got to pay attention to that now see what i'm trying to tell you it takes some intelligence because it's a lot of caveats and nuances in here it ain't a one-size-fits-all this none of this is is you know 100 proof it's look it's variations in this so what i'm saying is if he making thirty thousand but on his job he gotta put in time and in five years ten years he'll be at a hundred thousand that's totally different than a man who is on a job where there's no room for growth and he gonna be at thirty thousand till the day he die if he making thirty thousand but he has an entrepreneurial spirit so outside of his job he's building business so he working for the job monday through friday but on saturdays he going and he doing his landscaping and he might boom get paid 200 a customer so now he got 10 clients so now he can 2000 a month so now do then he able to do other stuff that might be 400 500 he on thumbtack and he is a handyman so he do handyman working he might make 500 to a thousand dollars a day i don't pay handing me 1500 in one day you see what i'm saying and they literally no college degree no education could barely spell the word pay but they on the site thumbtack.com homeadvisor.com so when i go looking for somebody to need to do something because i'm not the handyman that was the lord blessed me to be able to afford a handyman because i'm not a handyman so he don't earn what i earn but he got some set of skills that i don't have and i'm willing to pay you brother come on over here i ain't shame at all did god call me to something else he called you this so he you let me pay you you need some relationship coaching now you got to pay me see we i'm not trying to step on your toes so if your man know what he gifted at and he tapping into his gifts and he know how to go and get money for his gifts he handy whatever he do he like the landscaping he can visualize a yard and he know what kind of mulch what kind of rocks what kind of plants that's his skill set that's going to end up making him millions of dollars one day if he going to get it so you also got to look at that don't just look at where he yet look at his trajectory but now if you meet this man and it's like oh man he'll look complacent like man he's looking to look calm like i really don't feel no hustling crying and then this is the other thing you can't let you can't take this man and because you so busy in your business and you working so hard down at your insurance office you know down at your car lot you know down at your uh esthetician shop to where you taking him and just bringing him around you all the time to where now it's like you to hire him like he traveling with you he doing everything no you got to let him get his money so you can't take this man and turn him into your human teddy bear you can't do that let him get his money let him find his footing let him build his business and if your business me you got to travel you got to go here you got to go there you got to work 12 hours didn't do that and y'all could net outside of work when y'all could connect and then you're going to see if y'all meant to be you just can't pluck him up off his job and come with me because i made this kind of money i made this amount of money and you wasting your time with you can't do that because now you taking his scrotum and doing it just like that just that's what it feels like to him so then when you do that to a man and now you know castrated that man now he gonna look at you like a meal ticket so now he don't even respect you he don't love you could not you dragging him around like a little raggedy hand dog you drive him around like your human teddy bear now you he he following you doing all your work but now he don't get to make money for himself as a man so he can't get to feel like a man so now that just make him a savage now he become a scavenger now he want to eat off of what you kill see a man need to eat what he killed see you dragging him around you got him in your office you got him up under you sniffing your booty now you're doing the hunting and he just eating all what you can so that is not the nature of a man but if you put him in that position he will eventually become that hyena yo go watch the lion king go watch the lion king do you want move fossil or do you want on them hyenas because when you're the bread winner and you dragging this man around and you got him following you around and and you got him working with you and you got him all in your business y'all just met y'all ain't been together a year but now he start to struggle the average man gonna struggle with that because he's like i'm not using my hands i'm not earning a living i'm not making money i'm following her because she's bigger and better and got more going on i'm following her so man i'm feeling less than see man she respected me she respected me she let me hustle and grind she thinks she's smarter than me she thinks she can make more money i can make more one and a half so hey all right i got something for her i'm gonna cheat on them with keisha i'm finna cheat on them i'm gonna go to my baby my ex who respect me at least she had this kind of money but she respect me treat me like a man and like man all we could afford mike donald she was cool with that i'm trying to take her might not see something mike darma you wouldn't catch me dead in a mcdonald's all right i got something for i'm gonna take all her money uh take it right on over there i'm like you know what i'm gonna take her money invest it in my stuff get my stuff off the ground and then leave her but dragging me around like i'm old dog like i'm a little lap dog you see what i'm saying men struggle with ego because a man the nature of a man is to hunt and to gather the nature of a man is to provide so when you take and you the provider i'm not saying go sit down i'm saying let him show you i'm not saying give up your money and live off his money i'm saying let him be a man still let him pay for the dinner still let him treat you without you having to swipe the car still let him and and if you just doing it you doing this for a season okay when y'all get married now y'all could come on up to your level of living when you married because now y'all won but in this courting phase he need to be courting you at the level he could court he'll need to be on lebron james court because if that's not the level of court he owned all right he might need to be on joe smith court that's the level he owned so you getting to know is this the type of man you want to be with it ain't about lifestyle and all of that it's about who is this man can i fall in love with him and based on the way he treat me can i love him let me see what his mind said that because he might make thirty forty thousand fifty thousand sixty thousand but if he's still taking you to the dollar menu that let you know he got limited thinking that let you know he got a scarcity mindset because a man who making 50 60 he could splurge and still take you to rule chris and spend that 250 dollars he could splurge and do that and show you his mindset is he a stretcher do he stretch his mind is he so frugal that he broke minded or is he willing to stretch his mind and elevate his level of living so that his hustle and his grind catch up to the level that he want to be on see by you allowing him to show you where he at where his pocket set where his mind that you get to see if this the type of man you even want to be with that you want to you know submit to and be in a relationship to where you the wife he the husband you trust in his lead you trusting him to call some shots but also you get to see if he could trust you to cause some shots because see submission in is not a one-way street we submit one to another so me allowing my wife to handle the finances without me even looking at the finances that's me submitting to her i'm putting trust in her now i know how to do it all so that's why i don't have to sit there and look over her shoulder and what we're gonna do what we're going to do we're not at a budget in state we pass the budgeting stage in the sense of we could afford what our life needs so i ain't got to sit down and crunch numbers you see what i mean and then what i want to do put up for the future she trusts me to do that so i'm in charge of investments i'm in charge of the iras and the etfs and uh this and mutual funds and all i'm in charge of the stock purchases or the crypto currencies i'm in charge of all of that she in charge of the day-to-day finances so we in two different areas she trusts me in mine i trust her and hers we gotta sit and look over each other's shoulders some people y'all want to do that all right god bless he gonna hit my cookie god bless that ain't how we do it so you got to figure out the way how you jail with this man how you mesh with this man because submission is a two-way street so you need to see if he is willing to trust you in your strong suit you got certain knowledge in certain things and you want to share that knowledge with him because it could help him when you go to share that knowledge do we get an attitude i already know that i already know that you ain't teaching me nothing already know that but you looking at his life and you're like you don't know it you do not know what i know trust me because if you did you would be in the position you in so now you see he got an attitude now you see he gonna have his foot on your neck with your money you earning the mo money and his foot on your neck so this what when you live on his level the level that he can provide for this first year of dating it allow you to get to see how he handles money how he managed money his relationship with money his mindset and for you you sacrificing for a year if you love his character nah i'm not saying go through a year of he double hockey sticks if it's torturous because in in this not the man for you i ain't saying just get this man the whole year to have you eating that el pablito who got an elf rating on the thing or you eating that uh miss mary soul food shack who got a f rating for a whole year because and you only like this man you feel me and i'm not saying just shut up and be quiet you say hey you know let's let's we ain't got to go out to eat you know cause yeah i'll be honest with you i really cannot survive another episode of mad cow that we had that we got from that that meat we was eating last week so i'm okay cooking at the house like we could cook together if you got a favorite dish you know how to cook we could take turns cooking we could teach each other our favorite recipes like i'm fine with that like open your mouth speak up but you still need to see where this man mine it when it comes to money because what you want to make sure is that he's not a gold digger that he's not money hungry that he's not money driven that he's not uh when i say money hungry i don't mean that he's not ambitious i mean that he's not in love with money see the love of money not money money is not the root of all evil the bible say money answereth all things so it don't it's not implying that money is rooted of the boxing the love of money so when he would do anything to get it he want a gamble to get it he want to hustle to get it he want to do illegal to get it he want to you know work seven days a week 16 hours a day to get it to where he got no quality of life that's where his relationship with money is a bad relationship with money he ought to be a hard worker yes he could put in some overtime but he ought to show you balance y'all ought to be going on a date every week he ought to be he shouldn't have you on the dollar menu he ought to be willing to take you at least applebee's two for 20. all right cheesecake factory air 90 and splurge going to the steakhouse or unless y'all vegetarian y'all go to the vegetarian house but his relationship with money ought to be a healthy one he ought to have a savings and talk about savings and talk about investments so you see especially don't compare y'all situation to my situation i met my wife when i was 21. y'all grown today so y'all most of y'all 20 uh 20 at least 25 years old so here a man's relationship with money had to be different the older he get and you need to take some time to see that before you taking just oh come on in here come on in let's let's eat where i eat let's shout with our shot let's fly fly let's do what i do no because when you do that it's going to kill his hustle it's going to kill his ambition and he's going to say all right i'm just going to hit you on her wagon and just let her take me to the promised land because i know she she headed to the promised land office what's your opinion what the toe put that toe in my mouth he's sucking toe he licking on here all kind of peach cobbler every night every other night he anything because if a man get turnt up by some money he turned out i seen the boy on youtube i seen the ball on youtube who is a man who dressed like a woman and wear makeup and do makeup videos i think i ain't never clicked on the man video cause i do not want that popping up he's a white man but dressing act like a woman got him a black man who just was with a woman the black man then left his woman and they came to this hill man woman man woman that came to him when i looked at that brother in the eyes i said he turned out for the money that man would do anything i said he come from so much poverty so much brokenness so much just all of this he would do anything for that money so that man this her brother was in the house he [Music] landed the man one do all kind of stuff to him so he could live in a mountain so he could be have money and then what the man the man woman what he said now see i don't know what they call what they refer to themselves they they say they they say they so cuz i don't know if they you know so y'all forgive me for not being politically correct i don't you know understand all the terms all right but what what the person said i saw it pop up on a headline said that the guy starts stealing from him that's a prime example right there with a man turned out for that money he gonna come he gonna do whatever he got to do so if the person still got a pole between his legs because i don't know i know it's a man because he got a man first name but i don't know if he still got third leg but the brother that got with him he probably was in there doing everything but then now the guy say the man was stealing what you thought he was finna do when you ever seen a man look like that with you that that don't even go together but that's what a man who would bought that money he would do anything so a lot of women who making good money that man turned out for you and he doing everything and you telling everybody this the best man i had never experienced this like in my life that's because he bought that money and he gonna be absolutely amazing for that coin and when he get you and he married you and he got access to your money then and only then will you see his true colors or if you give him access to the money before y'all get married hey tony guess i gotta go god bless you running out of time we'll talk soon forgive me if i hurt your feelings bless you

Channel: Tony Gaskins

Views: 56,889

Rating: 4.9414053 out of 5

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Id: 7SmTHEc23Wg

Length: 59min 50sec (3590 seconds)

Published: Tue Nov 10 2020