Why he only wants you as a friend? | Tony Gaskins

hey tony guys here popping in you know i got a question um i i can't remember this was in the comments or email not not a talks with tony and i couldn't remember if i ever did a video on this but the question was why do what does it mean when a man only wants to be your best friend and you know for the short and simple if you gotta go it means you're not his wife that's that's the first the one thing you need to know is that he does not see you as his wife and then from there it could be one of anything and so it's so many reasons why a man would do that but if if all you need to if you looking for a husband and you are wondering if this man is your husband if he puts you into the friend zone then the answer is no now one out of a hundred thousand will turn into a marriage you know and typically they are in my office a year to three years in going through a divorce because they started out as friends and the language of friends is totally different than the language of intimate partners you can be intimate partners and have a friendship but the mindset is totally different when you friends it should be like siblings it should be there's no intimacy there's nothing there there's no possibility of it no chance of it you know unless you live in a certain area where siblings you know get together but other than that there's no chance of that when it's true friendship there's no desires there now what happens a lot of times is when a man makes a woman just a friend it eventually turns into friends with benefits and there are no benefits to being friends with benefits because now what you're doing is you're developing feelings for somebody that does not want you and so now you have this emotional tie to them your brain is now craving and desiring the releases it gets when you're you know doing whatever you're doing with them that is outside of the boundaries of friendship platonic friendship but yet this man does not want you and oftentimes it happens the other way around too a woman will put a man in the friend zone for the very same reason and then after getting her heart broke by all the men she thought she wanted then she starts looking at her friend and saying hey is there something here is there a possibility here could this turn into something and again one out of a hundred thousand it'll turn into something and out of that one probably 10 of them last a lifetime and so but you'll meet people who say yeah we were just best friend we were platonic friends nothing was going on five years later three years later seven years later we decided to give it a try we started dating we got married 20 years later we happy but that is not the norm that is not common that does not happen it's so many times i'm on the phone coaching a couple who were quote unquote friends first and then got into a relationship and so here's the thing what you have to understand about men is that there's there's energy there's this you know this this energy this feeling so the the chemistry the chemical release from a man talking to a woman so that feminine aura that feminine demeanor that is refreshing for a man it is replenishing for a man so what happens is the brain enjoys different stimuli so it's you get a different feeling you get the same feeling but in a different way it's it's it's hitting the same type of receptors when you have your favorite dessert and then when you have your favorite entree when you have your favorite drink you're getting that same release but it's different taste different texture you love them the same but yet differently at the same time that's how a man's mind is when it comes to women and when it comes to interaction with women so one woman may hit this certain receptor to where it's like this the thug misses you know this the woman she could throw hands and so she got a certain vibe and energy this the woman over here she missed pris you know and she got a certain vibe and energy this woman over here she the athlete she got a certain vibe and this woman over here she actually liked women but she got a certain vibe in it and so each woman gives the man a different type of fix a different type of feeling and so a man can choose one woman to be his wife and then some men will choose one woman to be or women to be his mistress some women to be friends with benefits some women to be just friends and then some women who are just associates or colleagues hey and by what's for work today what what's what we studying in class today things like that and each person each woman is doing something different in his mind he's getting a different feeling from each one so he thinks and so what you have to realize if a man puts you in just a friend role and you as a woman want more than that you gotta run you gotta run because that's the most dangerous space to be in because the reason why that's so dangerous is if you are a woman and you're desiring love and you want to be a wife and you're dealing with this man and you see him as husband material husband potential but he is treating you just like a best friend or like a friend not even a best friend either one either way he's treating you that's all he's gonna give you when you are dealing with him and you talking to him as a woman you start to fall in love and you start you fall in friendship love but there's also a underlying feeling of romantic love and every now and then in your dreams you may be kissing him in your dream you may sleep with him in your dream y'all may be on a long walk on the beach in your dream every now and then your mind will enter this space of what if and so what happens now is because a woman brain is slightly different from a man's when it comes to relationships and and it may not be the brain it may be social conditioning so men have always been told be fruitful replenish the earth and if you start at the beginning of time unless there was just boom we don't know it to be ten thousand men ten thousand women dropped on earth at the same time so when you go all the way back to the beginning of the human existence the man holding that reproductive chemical in him that reproductive substance in him had to go and deposit that into multiple women because if he just going to to one woman it's only so much she's going to be able to do and then so now these men were going to daughter sister niece in the beginning and so from there you go into this society where it's different religions where men had multiple wives then you go to different areas and regions and where kings had a thousand wives 300 more concubines on top of having a thousand wives one or two or three or four different women that he's lying with every day she goes back to the to the quarters that she has to remain at she can be killed if she comes read the book of esther in the bible she can be killed if she enters the king's quarters without being summoned without being called she can lose her life so there was this type of thing spreading around the world even today there are religions where a man can have multiple wives there are certain little uncle enclaves and subcultures you know the sister wives thing and so this could also be not just not biological because to be honest with you my wife is enough for me as i really think about this i'm like biologically biologically my mind cannot deal with two three four wives that too much energy that too much mood swings that too much going on like got to be trying to read minds and trying to see do you want something to eat uh i don't know you don't know if you're hungry well yeah i'm kind of hung i'm feeling something but so what you won't eat well i'm not sure okay you want this no i'm not feeling that you want this no don't want that you want this no don't now can you imagine it's already off just this one conversation with one woman the brain is tired so it's actually not biological that a man is meant to be with multiple wives now he may have a fleeting desire to be intimate with multiple women but that's why there is such a thing as self-control that's why there's such a thing as discipline that's why there's such a thing as the mind the brain so that you can talk to yourself and correct yourself so now when you look at this society has conditioned men to have multiple and to be okay with multiple and has conditioned women to expect men to cheat and to expect men to look and to lust and to expect men to flirt and it has been normalized but so so what's happening is now men still being under a different law so you know under the main law of america and in certain other countries too a man can have one wife certain religious beliefs now man can have multiple wives but he can't equally treat all them wives the same because you can't give three four wives the same amount of time three out of 365 days a year and he's not going every day and giving this one two hours this one two hours this one two hours every single day and if he is they're getting a shell of him they're not getting all of his energy it just it's not humanly possible so somebody getting the bulk of his attention and they got favor like esther had with the king in the bible and then somebody else getting his sloppy second somebody else getting the crumbs from his table but if that's their religion and that's their culture then they're gonna condition themselves to be happy with that and to say that they happy to say that they pleased to say that they okay with it i don't see the woman in the comments that said she one of multiple wives i said y'all allowed to watch youtube what the real what you all here doing this is about monogamous relationships sister what you all into over there you must want to escape don't tell the truth don't be in my comments talking about you lying talking about you happy and you on my video because my video's not talking to that what you dealing with so you over here for something else what's what you answer what these questions got to do with you now come on now tell the truth you know you want you one man to yourself tell the truth stop lying you want one man to yourself that you could be with all day and every single night you know you don't want to be sharing that man with no two three other women stop telling that lie come on now i'm human too i wouldn't want to share my wife with two three other men that ain't human nature we're human we selfish as it is we're selfish as it is you ain't nowhere in the world oh yes come on oh you just pulled that out of rebecca oh come put that in me oh we're done are you gonna go put it in leah now okay go right ahead you know what you know what leah deserves some of that poll go put some of that poll in leah ah she deserves it ain't nowhere in the world these women out here happy with this situation but society has brainwashed them and conditioned them to pretend that they okay with this polyamory and this polygamy and this all this right here they they have been conditioned to believe that that's all you are worth and that's all you deserve and that's all that exists for you and that this is life and this is the way of life and this is the way it goes and you can't have one man to yourself that will only lust after you and desire you and be that is fiction that's not the truth guess what that's a lie from the pit of where the devil is because my wife my only woman my wife my only woman and i know it's relationship coaches i hear that out here dealing with more than they wife guess what that ain't every woman's story they ain't everyone restores a lot of women who they husband is for them only so if that's the desire of your heart to have a husband stop settling for being his friend stop settling for being his concubine stop selling for being his monday wednesday friday woman stop selling for being his morning woman or his night woman or his afternoon woman stop settling if you want a whole man to yourself if you got any interest in this man and he have no interest in being your husband cut him off and move on with your life i forgot to tell you what i'm going to tell you now see what happens is when you're dealing with a man and you as a woman want to be married you desire to be married when you're dealing with a man as your friend what happens is he takes up the male masculine energy in your life he consumes all of your feminine energy that you have to give to a man so you compartmentalize him as your man as even though he's just a friend quote unquote friend he actually is filling the space of he is filling the space he's completing or meeting the need for masculine energy in your life so where your body is craving the scent of a man the voice of a man the security of a man where your mind is craving that this man who is your friend actually fulfills that need so what happens is now you subconsciously ignore every other man and if you don't ignore them you subconsciously push them away unconsciously you push them away and the man the other men that meet you can tell that you are not emotionally and available he can tell that you are kind of like a shell of yourself as a woman that the space for a man he can tell that that space is full even though you're not getting a romantic committed love from your situationship or your friend with benefits or your male friend that you secretly have feelings for and he knows you have feelings for him but because he does not want you he uses you as his escape he uses you as his alternative energy his alternative conversation so when he wants to hear a different tone of voice than his wife or his girlfriend or the main woman he wants he calls you when he wants to hear a different laugh a different opinion a different aura and demeanor energy he comes to you and now you take and you give him a you give him variety so now with this variety he feels diverse he feels complete because it's kind of like with men if we if we're able we'll have multiple of the same thing because everything serves a different purpose like this watch i have on right now it has the rubber band so i got on a black shirt and it has a black face well sometimes you'll see me with my watch where it's all gold that all gold is if i got on like a polo or a nicer outfit and i'm i'm dressing up i put that all gold on when i'm dressed down and i got on this here black and i got on these camo shorts now i put on this here watch with the with the rubber band you see what i'm saying now this right here is a audemars piguet that's how you pronounce it now you know black folk we pronounce pigwet out of mark pig hey that's an art of my pig wet pig yeah i googled it said pga i was like wow would have never saw that because i spelt p gay p e e g a y y'all spell it p i q my hand on top of it right now so i can't see how i spell cuz the time on right on top of it p-i-q-u-e-t i'm like but it's from another country now the other watch the gold watch is a rolex now that right there rolex we know of that but guess what both of them cost and my wife look out for me and they two different brands so it's like well if why are you not just a rolex man guess what i got up i got movado watch and i got g-shock the little all-rubber kind of sport g-shock watch you see well why are you not see if you able to you'll get different things just human nature you like well okay even women you like well this pair of shoes is for this so this is a a four inch heel this is a six inch heel oh this is a this uh a red bottom oh this is a white bottom this right here a black bottom this right here is espadrilles this right here open toe this right here close toe everything serve a different purpose and so that's how these men some men juggle women some men say okay you the bmw woman you the mercedes woman you the toyota woman you the lexus woman you see what i'm saying oh you the head monster you the top monster the bottom monster you the left monster you the right monster you know you you you good at cooking you good at you good at this you good at that and so if he does not have a moral compass he will treat women the same way we do cars the same way we do watches the same way we do draws he will treat women just like that and and a woman see the issue with a lot of women is a lot of women so desperate for love that a lot of women just try to get in where they could fit in oh i'm just a friend right now okay i'm gonna play that role you know be the best friend ever okay let me cook every wednesday for him cook his favorite meal every wednesday oh you know what it's his birthday i'm finna just shower him with some great gifts no sister you are the friend okay you need to be getting a gift card for 25 dollars that's it that's it you a friend you not his girlfriend you not his wife you need to understand what friend mean you're not supposed to be cooking for him picking up his kids babysitting his kid doing his dry cleaning washing his clothes folding his clothes cooking his food you're not every night then on your bike every night then he grabbing your boot every night and he's squeezing your head like you're not supposed to be doing all that as no friend you see what i'm saying but it's so many women that so desperate for love they feel like this is the rite of passage like okay i gotta be his okay i gotta be like his distant secret friend first okay and then i'm gonna get elevated to like his public friend okay then i'm gonna be like his best friend then i'm gonna be his best friend with benefits then i'm gonna get to be his fiancee no his girlfriend then i'm gonna get to be the on and off again girlfriend then we get to have a situation shell then i get to be his girlfriend again then i get to be his fiancee for five years then then we get married and so it's so many women that's putting themselves through these little ringers of a grown boy and you going through and you just trying to you just like you on a video game trying to get to the next level all right let me do this let me do this let me do this no if a man won't you he know you he know from the very first time he look at you you can have your mask on and he can look at your eyes your lashes your eyebrows and your hairdo and know if he wants you he just like that the eyes the window to the soul he could look you in your eyes and know if you could be his wife point blank period pointless ain't no lie ain't telling no lie men have that gift now he gonna dumb it down and tell you oh that ain't true that ain't true it's gonna take me at least seven years to get know somebody he lying he don't wanna be married he don't wanna marry you he just want to keep you and just use you and then when he find a woman that's for him he's gonna drop you like a bad habit you you finna drop you you finna hit that ground so hard you don't know what what you to hit and you don't know what hit you you like what the wrong way he also just disappeared hey he's just gonna cut me off at night i look on facebook and he married what in the world because he knew all along what he was looking for and what he wanted he didn't want you that what you got to understand because see listen why are you giving this man your good energy you blocking off you blocking another man you blocking your blessing while you giving your heart and your time and your good conversation and your good advice to this man that do not want you but you want you a husband you giving all of you the femininity all your aura and essence you giving it to them to the man that don't want you he using you you just a little supply he just you just something that look extra you see what i'm saying you just saw me look after you a little chaser you said i mean and so he using you and then not a man that's for you that won't you you could look at him and even recognize that he handsome that he well spoken he put together he driven he ambitious you could see all of that and you'll be like oh that's nice and it's a nice looking man you know i probably ought to hook him up with keisha because keisha is singling looking for somebody he'd probably be a good fit for her and you only realize that you're doing this subconsciously because you think your friend your husband you think this man that you've been in this situation with and his friends would benefit with you think y'all going somewhere no y'all not going nowhere y'all not going away y'all it's on the dead end road y'all you gonna end up in a ditch that's all listen to me because a man who want a wife he bought that you hear me he own it you finna know and even if you building on friendship this is what you this this part right here you got to get now oh so you're saying you can't you should not be friends before you date i think i thought friendship you should be friends first no your friends but you already know from jump that there is a romantic interest when he says listen i really like everything about you and i really want to take this to the next level so i would love if we could start to build what that means is we finna build a friendship but i'm letting you know at the what i'm on what this hill thing is about you hear me and a man come in well i'm not really ready for a relationship i just i really not really you know what my mind said i'm focused on my career i'm focused on getting a house i'm focused on paying off student loan debt and it's like a relationship is just like the last thing on my mind but i do like like you as a person and i just love your vibe your energy and i just want to get to know you better and i just feel like we could just be really dope friends and just like just just see where it goes like they go somewhere it goes somewhere okay all right well you know what well at this stage of my life i'm not really looking for any male friends right now um so you know it was great knowing you you know thank you for the hat and everything but it was great knowing you you know i'm pretty sure it's other women looking for male friends i don't need a male friend right now i'm i'm dating intentionally right now okay all right okay i'll see you later you see what i'm saying that you got you cannot let no man tell you he's not ready for no relationship and y'all could just be friends if you want you a husband going about your business because guess what if he tell you y'all could just be friends but you want you a husband when you meet the other man and you talk to him because you just friends with this man when you talk to the other man who could be your husband and you mention and your friend call you oh this all this oh that's my friend brian give me one second hey b what's going on yeah okay yeah i'm a little tired up just with my friend uh-huh yeah okay yeah oh wow what okay all right yeah all right well yeah okay i'm all right we'll talk in a little bit i'll give you a call when i get in the car all right bye so now you still with your little friend that deep down you got a little something that you feeling for him he don't want you though but now over here tom sitting right here at the date with y'all hanging out y'all you think you've just been you putting tom in the friend zone when this could be your husband you the friends on him so now tom sitting over there like he all in the conversation he like oh gonna call in the car okay he heard you say you're gonna call him in the car song like so when you hang oh okay oh that's your friend oh that's your friend tom trying to act like he ain't you know jealous and insecure or not he ain't just insecure he's just trying to get a little intel oh that was your friend okay the voice kind of sounded kind of deep like she had a deep voice oh oh it was a guy oh okay okay go go oh oh that's why you said be oh okay okay all right so oh so y'all grew up together oh oh you oh you just met him like six oh okay oh y'all been knowing each other for some little while oh okay okay no so now now one thing i always hear about i always hear like women have like you know you know gay friend like you know no offense to them guys anything like that i ain't like that like i'm not humble i'm just wondering like so you know that there's a situation right there oh no no brian no he's not gay at all he uh hunt trust me he 100 straight trust me so now tom like oh oh oh okay oh okay that's cool also y'all just kind of you know hang out kick it just talk on the phone and all that okay um check please check me oh yeah everything's good food was great you know i just i just seen you walking by so i'll just like check please you know that's all it was yeah i was just checking might as well get a chance like he keep walking by okay so yeah go ahead now so y'all just hanging out and just be kicking and all that okay yeah so like you know i mean what's his situation he got a girlfriend and everything what you so not tall trying to get in that time like okay all right all righty what hey okay thank you for the hit check all right okay well you know it was great talking to y'all give you a call all right see so now so now your husband that could have been your hub you ran your husband off not even ran your husband off because you in the friend zone with this man that you low-key got feelings for but you lying to yourself about the feelings and some and some women ain't lying to themselves about the film some women know they got feelings but that man telling them oh it's not time yet i don't focus on this i'm focused on that oh and and there's so many men some women sleeping with the man but ain't got no title not exclusive or might be exclusive i ain't got no title and sleeping with the man just messing up all your energy just ruining your life just blocking all your blessings your husband walking past you every day and you emotionally unavailable to him cause you with this man who won't give you no real commitment who won't give you no who won't ask you to be his woman who won't be all in who telling you he got to focus on this focus on that he he don't really want no relationship he don't really like titles relationships kind of jinx everything and this and that he's still healing he trying to get to know god he for all these excuses he come up with when the only thing he should be saying is i don't want you i wonder why but you ain't it that way he ought to be saying but that's too hard to say but 99.9 of men will never say that because uh uh contrary to popular belief men actually don't like blatantly hurting women's feelings but the stupid thing that we do is we don't consider that it actually hurts a woman more to lead her own than to just be straight up with her so a man called himself sparing a woman feelings by not telling her you're not my wife i know yeah i know you think you're cute and all that i know you dress well i know you take care of your body you got a job you got a nice camry and all that ultimate whatever you know whatever you're not a wife and a man think that he's sparing her feelings by not being honest and straightforward with her but then he don't he he leads her own and don't consider how much more damaging that will be so if you're a man watching this because your friend that you got in the friendzone sent this you know gun well you know good and well as a man that you're not finna be with no wife and have no women friends and that and your wife be comfortable with it so this woman you calling your friend she sent you this video because she kind of got some feelings for you not a video ain't gonna get sent because she don't want the man she don't want to admit that cinnamon video shouldn't matter video so he knows the game exposed now you as a man you know you dragging that woman alone because you don't need you don't need one hush no friend she don't she don't know sports on the level as your homeboy she don't know cars on the level of your homeboy you supposed to be friends who got the same level of interest that you have this one here that's not no friend that's a a girlfriend without a title that that's a concubine without without that title that you calling a friend and you got this woman sitting still stuck in her life while you out here scanning the the roman earth scanning the world looking for your number one woman looking for you a woman and got this woman here sitting still she actually turning down me purposely and accidentally waiting on your butt and why are you calling her a friend while you out here sleeping with everything and you living your life instead of just telling this woman like listen you know i don't wanna i know men and i know a man is not gonna be with you and be okay with you being my best friend because i'm a man i'm a heterosexual man too and i know that ain't gonna fly so in order to not block your blessings i'm gonna remove myself from your life and we should just be you know colleagues like merry christmas happy easter happy hanukkah juneteenth whatever we gonna celebrate and we just shoot that message and i'm going i'm gonna let you be wide open and available for a man you know because i know how men are a man is not going to be comfortable especially with no man like me you know what i'm saying when he feel this swagger on ragu he gonna know that this ain't average this ain't this this ain't that so okay listen y'all uh hey listen don't do all that crying and all that and i i listen i know your mouth say that you don't care if if a man can't be okay with me being your friend that he's not the man for you listen that's not the case that's not true that's not true like that's disrespectful to a man for you to ask him to be your man and him to trust that i don't have feelings or lusting after you or that i wouldn't touch you because well listen hey you hop on that bike now imma touch it die you see what i'm saying as a man men don't go ahead and tell that truth and men not going to get out the way as humans we're going to be selfish it's just like a lot of women women the same way too not a lot of women will have a male friend this man will get a girlfriend and and and the woman friend calling the man all time of night blowing the man phone up you know what i'm saying knowing that the man got a situation i remember having some clients so women clients who were like you know because they were celebrity or whatever knowing i'm married and would be calling me eleven o'clock at night midnight one o'clock in the morning two o'clock in the morning and it didn't dawn on me at first because i'm thinking like ain't no way this person could like me and then i talked to my wife about it she said tony yes she said it's me who lead a wife for a client or assistant or a the wife best friend the wife classmate the wife cousin she said it happened every day she saw she said so a woman with no integrity a woman who she immorally she she just morally all over the place and she was like do you think she don't you think she'll lose sleep if she got you to liking her and she broke up our marriage she was like some type of women don't care nothing about that so then i had to come out of that because i hadn't left the game you know what i'm saying really a long time ago and so i'm just just deering head likes being naive thinking i'm just out here helping people and people just they have all pure intentions and there's no way a woman would hire me for coaching with the desire to be with me what no way and so that's how i was i had to take the wool off my eye and my wife really put them on game and i remember this one woman told me and this woman said she was a virgin so i'm like if you're a virgin and you could easily go out here and sleep with somebody but you saying you a virgin man you might got some kind of class or morals or something and i remember that woman told me she said tony as women we don't care that a man is taken what that shows us is that he's willing to commit now we just need to get him to commit to us i was like i smeared out the chill i'm like what now of course that ain't every woman but she was speaking for a large amount of women and the women who are not like that the women who are not like that those women can attest to there is a large section of women who are like that that they don't mind playing that that background until this man just out of nowhere have irreconcilable differences with his wife and then the next thing you then he with her the next day and then the woman like oh well i well you know their marriage was already bad you know if if if if he's gonna leave her for me their marriage was already done and be that as it may your butt should have stayed out the way be that as it may your butt should've stayed out the way but that's what happens and so it go both ways and so just like with a man if a man can call you a friend and have you given him girlfriend energy wife energy but yet under the title of friend if that will keep you being his due girl and being his emotional uh dump bucket where when he feeling whatever kind of way he can call and talk to you you his therapist you his life coach you his uh bank you his chauffeur you his nanny you everything to him but he just giving you the title of friend if he can use you right there and if that will keep you single so be it he's not finna tell you let me remove myself from your life and and the male masculine energy i'm bringing to your life so that you have room to receive your husband when he sees you let me get out of the way because i know as a man there's no such thing as a man and woman being just friends i know as a man that eventually there's going to be some feelings one way or the other unless somebody just totally into the opposite i mean totally into the same gender as them and even then don't stop nothing because it's women who quote unquote like women still end up going back to a man or dealing with a man it's men who say they like men and still be sleeping with women so even that don't don't mean nothing but so this but see it very rarely might be one time might be 10 times in the history of the world that a man had told a woman i'm gonna remove myself from your life as your friend so that you have room to receive your husband because if your husband come in and he see me it's gonna be very hard for him to believe that we just platonic and even if i meet him and shake his hand it's going to take a special kind of man and them kind of special man that's going to be okay with you having a male best friend that's few and far in between and that probably could keep you single longer than you want to be so i'm let me bag back stop calling me best friend like we cool or whatever but don't don't don't use that terminology when you talking to a man because it's gonna make him uneasy because i guarantee you he or somebody he know a man he know they had a woman that had cheated on them with a so-called male best friend so listen don't do that because if we ain't meant to be together you know what i mean don't i don't want you to block your blessings it's probably 10 men in the history that said that and the reason why is because as humans and at the same time too on the flip side now what about women how many women have said that how many women have said listen i cannot be your best friend anymore because you have a girlfriend or because you looking for your wife and i as a woman would not be comfortable if i met a man and he had a woman that he calls best friend because i want to be my man's best friend how many women have said that how many women have said that as humans we look we selfish in a lot of ways and we we look at what is this doing for my love bucket what is this doing for my life what is this what am i getting from this and if we getting something we don't really think about other people and that's what we have to that's what we got to grow at and that's what we got to force the issue that's what we got to force the issue you know i have my dad car right now and um it's an italian car you know it's an italian car um a maserati gran turismo and it got probably got 450 horsepower in it and um my partner you know he uh he's in family man you know different season of his life building his business and things like that i'm helping him build his business and helping him you know add some value to his company but he drives a honda civic right now and so you know it's the difference between the the horsepower and the master riding the honda civic so we came home you know after the game him and his son he's with his little son i know how little boys love cars so i said hey man you know let me hold your car because i'm thinking about getting one of those for a family member which is the truth and you take this car and so when i had his car i had his car for like two days and i'm driving this car you know i'm driving a civic i drove to my basketball training two days in a row and but having that car i said you know what the car he got three kids so me having two boys i know what that's like the car looked like three kids you know it's in this car and they're all athletes so i said let me take this to the car wash get it washed and get it vacuumed that was a stretch for me that was a stretch for me that cause i'm like i'm gonna spend money to watch somebody else's car elephant to get sweaty vacuuming somebody else call another man car dad you know what i mean like i ain't got to do that he asked me to do that he's not expecting me to do that i said let me do that so sure enough i do that but it was a stretch for me and it taught me a lesson and i'm sharing this lesson with you because it did something for me when he got a car he noticed it i was like man we don't even notice stuff sometimes sometimes i come in the house and i get to the room and my wife said did you notice how how um clean the living room was and i'm like uh no i ain't noticed that uh yeah let me go back in and check this out oh wow this look good girl you did your thing but sometimes i just know men will notice them as soon as he got in the car he said hey man i want to he he sent me a voicemail won't say hey i want to thank you for washing and vacuuming in the car you didn't have to do that you didn't have to do that man and you said you was taking your car in for service so i just assumed that if it's going in for service they're gonna wash it or whatever but if that's not the case i could shoot you some bread to get it washed and vacuumed as well and and i'm like no no man don't worry about that that ain't ain't no issue like it's cool yeah it's supposed to go on for service so that ain't no issue but i said you know what i'm trying and that's why i'm sharing this with y'all and and you get the devil up he's that bragging about himself and aj bragging oh my god that's a nice you're a narcissist you're narcissist always brag about yourself listen i'm sharing life experience and where i'm growing so that you could look at your life and say okay have i already grown there too that's so understand that and saying i rebuke you in the name of jesus get thee behind me cast out x stop rebuke you ah olive oil put some of the hand sanitizer on you say there you go and so listen so when you look at this right here you have to look at your life and ask yourself where am i selfish at do i have a friend of the opposite that who has somebody or want somebody and i'm not gonna be with this person am i blocking their blessings by having my energy in their space by having my presence when i say energy i mean presence by being in their space in their life in this role because i know the average person know people and know how frisky we are how freaky we are how nasty humans is how humans quit to get in that bed quick to fall into fornication so i know that if i'm in this person's life this woman life as her quote unquote best friend that any man she meet is going to feel a way and he don't know her he don't love her so he have no reason to give her the benefit of the doubt and he can easily assume and just because he assumes that me and her may have done something in the past may have kissed may have slept together or maybe every night then getting a little tuned up just because he assumes that i know as a man that that don't make him insecure that that doesn't make him jealous that that doesn't make him immature because that is human nature and it happens every day so he would not be wrong to assume that because it's happening so much and so if i'm genuinely this woman's friend then i need to get out the way and not play the role of her maintenance man fixing everything her security blanket her confidant because she gonna develop a type of love for me that she won't even have for her actual husband because i will be serving a role and doing things in her life that he that she don't even allow him to do because i'm already feeling the void so she don't even need a husband for this or for this or for that because she like oh i got him for that so as a man if i'm not if i'm a good man and i'm not being selfish i'm gonna remove myself and because i understand even though she may not understand and then when she meet her husband i'm gonna get a card or a text message that say hey you know what i want to thank you so much for being man enough to kind of take some steps back and not kind of play the role of dad or brother or boyfriend or husband because i was kind of subconsciously putting you in that role and that was blocking my blessings but when you stepped back and you moved out the way it opened me all the way up and i was able to see my husband for everything that he is and to receive him and fall in love with him and not have to worry about comparing him to to my best friend quote-unquote best friend and said oh you not like john or you don't do this like john you don't do that like john she actually this woman will actually be comparing and men too men will be comparing it go both ways because it's humans it's humans and men will be comparing his girlfriend to his his best friend oh you don't cook oh hey it's good now but hey that's my best friend lizzy hey i i hate to say that i don't get jealous cause i know how y'all be y'all be jealous hey don't get jealous now but my best friend lizzy hey i think she'll cook you on the table hey you know what i'm gonna do i'm gonna have to put i'm gonna have to set up a cookoff between you and lindsay and see he has a affection for lindsay he has a love for her that he's not even really conscious about and now he got this amazing woman in his life and he comparing her to his friend and don't even realize that it's making her upset because she like i can't feel this woman's shoes because he didn't fell in love with her as a friend which is a pure love that has nothing to do with the way he gonna judge me romantically or as an intimate relationship he gonna be harder on me and judging me but then giving her passes because she just the best friend and then so now in his mind she is a much better woman than me you see what i'm saying that's how i go it go it go like that both ways that's why i do not condone being friends because he did the word friend colleagues y'all go to work together hey so what the ts report say today okay cool all right gotcha all right see you later colleagues all right classmates hey class mate good to see you okay yeah hi okay tell your mom i said hey all right gotta go you see i'm saying i'm okay with colleagues classmates you feel man y'all got to be at work together okay cool but all that extracurricular texting hey how you doing what no not just know too much about humans just know too much about humans the the trust of human look put your trust in god and then there's always women in the comments and sometimes the men in the comments i have a friend of 20 years and there are absolutely no feelings whatsoever speak for yourself speak for yourself jerker y'all ain't fell on your back speak for yourself you don't know what the other person is being tormented and tortured with every single night because the feelings they have for you and will never tell you and it's ruining their relationships it's blocking their blessing because you got you a friend quote unquote friend and listen if y'all don't talk every week if y'all don't confide in each other if y'all not sharing hopes and dreams and fears and and all of this right here if y'all ain't sacrificing for each other then y'all not friends y'all not friends so stop saying i got a friend of 20 that's not a friend that's a colleague that's an associate that's not a friend i'm talking about the literal sense of the word the real meaning of the word friend confidante you know what i'm saying that's what i'm talking about i'm not talking about your colleague or your associate of the opposite sex that you say happy birthday and merry christmas to tell your mom i said hey i ain't talking about that ain't talking about that you see what i'm saying so this what you need to understand that friend zone with somebody of the opposite and you heterosexual is never a good space to be in if you want you if you want to be married never good space to be in don't ever allow yourself to be in that space so listen it's women that i know their clients their clients so if if i text them it's about business if they text me it's about business it's no i'm texting no woman hey how are you doing how is life treating you i miss you let's catch up let's talk about you know your hopes your dreams everything is business and that's how it got to be because if you go to talk about hopes and dreams and all of that right now there's going to be some feelings developed and then them feeling developed then it's going to be some comparisons oh yeah it's going to be some comparisons now it's going to be oh you know oh my wife don't do this my wife don't do that or if you're a woman oh my husband don't do that my boyfriend don't do this like suddenly yeah it's different because one is called a friend and one is your partner so the the chemistry the relationship the interaction is gonna be different you can't that's you comparing apples to oranges and they're gonna be like that and they're gonna be there you need to have friends of your same gender and the friends that you have are your same gender they need to be heterosexual because if you got a same gender friend who like your gender then that friend could have feelings for you um that is not cherry no that's humans that's what's gonna happen that's what the brain do it develops familiarity it develops feelings emotions and affection for somebody or anything that you consistently talking to all around so if if if i if i have a friend if if i have a friend and he's a man and he like men's there is a 99 chance he gonna have end up having some kind of feeling so listen i'm not going to have that nor am i going to have a friend that is a woman who like me i'm not going to have that if they could be attracted to me they're not going to be my friend you see i'm saying if they like men they in a romantic way they not fit to be my friend so who's gonna be my friend men who like women in a romantic way i'm not discriminating or hating on the man who like me you know what i'm saying hey what's going on bro all right how are you doing everything good all right y'all you and tom doing good all right all right yeah all right not going to be my friend in all in my intimate personal space where i'm taking off my shirt and all that and he liked the physique of a man no nor am i going to have a woman in that space you got to use common sense and a lot of time we try to be so politically correct oh well that is being like this no that's being safe that's being wise that's being wise because you understand human nature that's all that is you know i ain't discriminating and hating and you ain't being arrogant and stuck up no you being wise and you setting up boundaries in place so that you don't have people right there next to you lusting after you and want to be with you actually when you trying to have a relationship that what you got to understand but a lot of people we play that game we play that we play the fool and we when we just think it's all cool no no humans are flawed and yeah you could get that point to be mature but that's a huge gamble and even if you at that point there's no way for you to know 100 that your friend is at that point because you don't live in your friend mine you don't live in your friend mine so you will be you know ignorant to believe that you know 100 that your friend has no attraction to you whatsoever you don't know that because you're not them and you'll know what people live with people got all kind of skeletons and and dark secrets that you don't know about that your best friend don't know about that you don't know about your spouse dark secrets you know what i'm telling you listen now hey this tone of gas and god bless you we'll talk soon

Channel: Tony Gaskins

Views: 74,130

Rating: 4.9415112 out of 5

Keywords:

Id: sEB56EovbcU

Length: 59min 49sec (3589 seconds)

Published: Fri Apr 16 2021