Let him earn your love!

hey Tony gasps is here I am going through some of the topics that you all sent me so these are y'all's questions not mine so understand that first I wouldn't always pick these but since y'all asked them I'm gonna answer them and one of the highly voted questions was how to make a man earn your love and be honest with you as I thought about it I'm like well I just thought about about two minutes ago but I was like you know what that's actually a good question because most women do it the wrong way and the reason why is because you've been telling yourself that you need a man that you're tired of being lonely that you're jealous of your friends who have gotten married and started families and so because of everything you tell yourself you actually have messed this up for you so you got to think about this it first starts with your mindset and just literally say this a man needs me that's what you need to say instead of I need a man you need to say a man needs me instead of saying you know I'm tired of waiting you need to shift it and say I'm glad that I haven't settled for just anybody so you have to shift your thinking you know reverse your thinkin invert your thinking whatever you need to do so that you can look at the picture as you are the prize you're not the one who is waiting on a handout waiting to be selected you are the prize so understand that and shift your mindset first and what the young lady asking her question was other than what can we do other than not sleeping with them you know that's one way to make them earn you but what else can you do and nothing really will matter if your mindset is not in the right place then after that you have to understand that you have to mirror a man whatever he does I didn't this was a term when I made it up right in the book years ago and then I've been seeing around people talking about mirroring but I don't know what the clinical term or whatever whoever made their term up what it means but for me what I mean is you give a man exactly what he gives you nothing more and when I say exactly that's kind of can be taken out of context so I'm not saying like if he gives you he buys you a pair of shoes you buy him a pair of shoes what I mean by this is you don't give him more than what he gives you so if he's not calling you don't call him if he's not if he doesn't text you don't text him if he doesn't ask you on a date don't ask him on a date so this is what I mean by you mirror a man and you can mix it up a little bit to where if he calls you a few times then now you can call him but I've seen women write me and they said I'm dating this guy and I'm the only one reaching out I'm the only one initiating contact that should never be the case because men are hunters by nature a man wants to work for what he gets in life his his money his promotion his body his woman a man wants to work for a real man so you should never be the one initiating contact with a man it should always be the man and then you can reciprocate the contact so if he called you today and y'all are item y'all are in a relationship then you can call him tomorrow if y'all just met and y'all are just dating like you know not an item yet then he needs to be calling you and he calls you every day takes you every day another thing what you can do in this early stage is you have to make a man give you real time so text message is not real you know sending you a video message is not real sending you a voice memo is not real he has to get on the phone with you get on the phone and go back and forth in conversation with you if y'all are in the same city then he needs to come see you he needs to see you at least once a week if he works 40 hours or less even if he works 60 hours or less he can come see you so that's what it needs he needs to see you once a week if y'all are within if you're within four hours because four hours is nothing for a man you know to drive for a woman that he wants it's a lot you know four hours is 40 hours to drive for a man if it's for a woman he doesn't really want and he's just kind of using as a placeholder using as a roster filler but four hours you do that in a heartbeat like don't get off work Friday or Saturday morning get up 5:30 6:00 a.m. hitting a roll you listen to your favorite album your podcast your videos you know the radio you there for you know spend all day 8 p.m. get on the road back to the house that's nothing for a man if he wants that one so anything less than that like y'all 3045 minutes old he definitely need to be coming to see and it doesn't have to making a man earn you has nothing to do with money so don't don't look at it like and this what a lot of women make the mistake and say oh well we go on dates but all the dates are cheap or we link up you know like we we meet up to go on a date but we're not spending any money like he doesn't spend any money that has nothing to do with earning you you don't want a man to buy you that's not earning you that's buying you you know it's a difference man when I was watching the show in is this dad he rich and his son is a driver what a dad is a billionaire so it's like okay if it's underaged the cars then son gonna get to be one of the racers because his dad is the money and that's buying not earning as the other guy who's a real good driver but he didn't get the spot on his team because he didn't come with a lot of money he didn't have a sponsor so that's what you have to realize don't look at a man earning you just because he's buying you gifts or he's paying for expensive dates or he's taking you you know helicopter tours or you know what have you that is not earning you that's buying you and you've got to be able to differentiate between the two see a man earning you is him giving you his time when he gives you his time and and now here's the key now there's the caveat a man earning you is when he gives you his time and he doesn't have endless time to give you so he works a full-time job like and if he works for himself if he doesn't work on somebody somebody's job he's working on his business his brand or whatever full-time like he's given his situation at least 40 hours a week and so he doesn't have just in this time this isn't I'm not talking about a man who is living with his mom and not working so he's living off of his mom he's not living with his mom he's living off of for his mom I'm not talking about a man with no job I'm talking about a man with a job because a man with no job he shouldn't be talking to you in the first place so if you talk to a man with no job you need to call about your business anyways cuz he got other stuff he need to be focused on trying to work out trying to get together okay understand that now a man with a job he if he's giving you time real time on the phone in person that is him earning you now another thing is you have to kind of spread yourself out what I mean by this is you can't come in like it's been women who asked me can I kiss on the first date absolutely not absolutely not what if he got mono you know rat nineties time what if he got that 19 and you go on a date y'all go on a date you posed to be social distance but no you you going on a date and y'all just gone social distance in your car and y'all ain't 6 feet apart and then you he leaned over the kids and he got that 19 but it no sentence showing up yet not you got the 19 now if you got respiratory issues you're going to meet the Lord you know and so you have to think about this is you've got to spread yourself out it's still certain this might make 13 years of marriage for my wife and I and it still certain parts of her it's still certain you know parts of her personality you know just expressions it's still certain parts of her that I still have not experienced and it may be certain parts of me that she still has not experienced and what I mean by it is you just don't give everything all of you every part of you to a man so early and that's the thing it's like it's so men and women that be so desperate for a man that in the first year you already you don't pull every rabbit out the Hat you don't pull every trick out the bag under from under your sleeve you didn't slit it now ever it's kind of pole you got every kind of launcher ray you don't every kind of trick of the trade he has experience from you and he barely even know you it's only been three months it's been six months it's been nine months been 12 months and you doing everything you were in there and giving him while you cooking hamburger with cheese on it and it's like how you doing how you cooking and doing that at the same time and he's like what's going on so then he knows that you desperate that you lonely so guess what he's not earning you because he under you have to realize is that most men nine nine ten minutes they have something to compare you to nine under 10 min so when he when a man meets this type of woman who there's this type of one okay America so I'm gonna talk about this type of one y'all make sure you pre-order the book a woman's influence i merit is one when a man meets this type of woman the first time they link up it's not in her inside of her apartment its outside on the bench but it's another type of woman oh yeah you come over I live on one two three main street yeah the code to the gate is 95 and I leave the door unlocked just come on in so it's that type of woman okay nice up and then it's another type of one who I live one two three main street but not gonna give you the cold to the door to the gate or how to get in the building or whatever I'll meet you down there just call me and I come down and get you okay it's that type of one and but ya both I'm letting you come today place on the first second third date and don't know you from a can of paint don't know you know better than the man on the moon and that's an issue so so he sees that but then he sees this woman over here who she won't let him come to her place won't let him come in her place they said not at the park on a park bench she drove herself won't let him come on the first date it's the type of woman that I say yeah I live on one two three main street come you know you can come pick me up and then just give me a call so it's that type of woman so now if he cuckoo for cocoa puffs you don't even know this man but now he knows where you live because you want to feel social forests you want him so Childress you won't feel like a queen and so you can gave him you trapped in you so trapped in being taken care of a man got to pick you up on a date so you trapped in that so now you know where you live but then it's another woman say okay yeah um what you want to go to the bowling alley okay cool what time yeah let's do seven o'clock all right I'll meet you there he liked it okay and then so now the one woman he'd know where you live so he picked you well he'd take you all to take you home when you find out you don't like him a week later and you tell him you know you stop answering his calls you can't really leave out the house you open the door he's standing there looking at you why because you let him pick you up before you even vetted him and know that he is or isn't the man for you where this other woman she good because she met him at the thing and I see it some women that's gonna meet him at the thing so it's another type that's gonna meet him at the bowling alley and they're gonna go bowling and then they're gonna stand up and talk afterwards you know at the car and it's one time woman they're gonna they're gonna talk out that she's gonna give my church hook okay she's gonna give my church hook Wow little pat on the back you know that one hand look pat on that other shoulder look there you go and then she's gonna get in her car and she's going the long way home and she in her rearview mirror she's making sure but he's not following her she own she owned that so you not coming to my house I'm meeting you at the at the date afterwards I'm hitting you with a church huh okay yeah we could chop it up for 10 15 more minutes I in a parking lot but it's either cult is he the hot and human in his parking lot or a cold in the parking lot so I'm not standing here all too long so my half in the fall and they're gonna get frizzy I got to go so he'll go to church go to church her gone and it's that type of one okay then you got another type of woman who she's gonna meet you there because she won't show she independent she wants you to see her BMW she wants you she wants you to know she riding some nice wheels oh yeah oh yeah you could walk me to the car oh she need you to see that she hidden that remote oh yeah she won't let you know which one it is ok now let's stand here and talk not her you got the kind of woman she comes down and talk for hour and then a hook gonna be sensual gonna be two hands sensual ok with that type of woman he might to slide the hand down a bite get them a good squeeze okay and that's that type of one so now because men like to work because me and won't work for what they get because men want to earn a woman because what you let a man do shows a man how you value yourself and it all comes from your mindset so here's the thing this ain't about playing a game this isn't about playing a game this isn't about playing a role this isn't about trying to playing hard to get this is about shifting your mindset to where you really think like this you really believe to where you really say to yourself you need to call me if you want to be with me you need to initiate the call not text not text me to doubt you need to try to link up to see me every week if we live within distance you need to set that up if you really want to be with me you need to meet me we need to go on a real date so whatever this even if it's walking around the lake we need to get out the house and go somewhere and at that place we're gonna spend some time where there's two hours or four hours whatever it is how much overtime you have to give without neglecting your responsibilities don't don't miss your homework don't miss your sleep no don't leave your child with a babysitter too long like don't neglect your responsibilities but give the time that you have to give and your mindset needs to be you don't deserve to kiss me because I don't know I don't know you and how you do your lips what you do with your lips let me watch your mouth a little bit okay you don't need to be filling on me grab him handful of booty trying to rub on all this you don't deserve all that cuz I don't know you so you don't get to do all that long sensual hook I'm not giving you all that cuz I'm not trying to send a mixed message at the most I get to hand hook but it ain't gonna be no long embracing all of that okay hit go to hook you still a stranger and you you run like that for the first 10 days you keep it real cordial this tool now a man is like wow so with my wife you know I was used to being very forward because every woman I had ever dealt with I could pretty much be real forward you know just real just out there just say whatever well we heard her energy was different because she met me outside sat me down at the bench we taught for six hours she didn't try to sit beside me she didn't use any terms of endearment she didn't try to touch me you know how women are you so what else it may be slapping all on you and they be and all of that a man reach that oh you thirsty oh you loose booting or your flirt a man read that I liked and using any terms of endearment so I read that because you meet some women and they like hey boo how are you and it's like this my second time calling you your boo and some women oh that's just how I talk you know something there's Charter defending said no that's how you'll grow Montag just leo grandma call everybody boo sweetie honey cutie pie she got the right to do that she didn't been here 60 plus years she do what she want to do you trying to get you a husband you can't call around the man you just met boo honey sweetie huh babe none of that you got all words of endearment got to be I not even know nickname a lot of women what's up T you don't know me my name Tawney you see that mean no terms of endearment in dating life is business something like that you could be cool and cordial cuz you ain't trying to go there but in dating is you gotta let a man know this strictly business right now like we still platonic like you you courting me and you got to do the work for me to drop my guard that's how a man has to feel and so you got to evaluate yourself and how you moving so my wife when I met I'm using a real dis type of woman as an example of a woman who make a man work for so and it was meet me outside of my house let's sit down and talk can't you talk can you have a conversation we talk six hours after the six hours I got to go only remember really getting the whole he prodded was a look look Churchill but I thought I won't remember nothing about it so I know it wasn't nothing special then third fourth time talking I talk like that four hours six hours I remember getting a longer hook I got a longer hook I remember trying to slide my hand down grab me a handful she caught my hand caught my hand pulled it up back up on the bike pulled it back up to her back I was like whoa okay this will 1 out of 10 women here meaning she's Indian top 10% because most women they are gonna let you get that look that look squeeze in jail laughs what you doing oh my god yeah oh you kill me what are you doing you know they are going excuse me you know that but they don't let you do it my way caught my whole hand I know i'ma let you do it then laugh it off and all that nope give me a hand put a hand up then I remember getting ready to go I tried leaning in okay I'm gonna give my whole time and when you coming back from that hook I tried to leaning in okay get my old kid and so I'm coming in she did me like this I was like whoa like man can get me okay we don't we don't talk 24 hours not 24 hours meaning like for one day but we had to met up and we would talk like 6 hours at a time and I'm like man you all know everybody I had them put him more work than I ever put in like the first few times of sitting and talking that was equivalent to like a month like three four days talking to my wife was equivalent to the amount of time I will put in with any other woman like an entire month because she just was a great conversationalist and she just required that she didn't say you got to sit here and talk to me but she wasn't she wasn't going forward she just was talking like some women when you sit if you sit and you talk to a man and in this first hour you leaning over touch on you know slapping them on the arm you laughing that stuff that ain't even funny you called him boo that he knows he don't have to talk to you for five six hours because he know you already lose booty he know you already gonna be a little easier the the takedown then but a different than this type of one he already knows that so you're not gonna get that but well my wife sitting on the other side of the bench talking to me and just having good conversation without flirting without calling me terms of endearment what laughing too hard without you know doing anything without arguing or debating or being ruled or either just being a great conversationalist it kept me there I was stumped I'm like wow this conversation is just fulfilling replenishing like this amazing and so I was falling in love the more I talk so in the first few days which involved no money just sitting talking I had given in three days the amount of time I would give another woman in 30 days or 45 days literally and so for 90 days literally and so this is what you got to understand so when it comes to a man earning your love is across the board now in all it is like a lot of women within the first 10 days you like oh yeah come over to my place and I and I cook a meal that's a mistake because they say a way to a man's heart is through his stomach it's some truth to that but then it's not some truth to that like it's truth to it he just starved of a home-cooked meal meaning like for me it's true for me because I didn't grow up with a cooking mom so a home-cooked meal is like that might write me a check for a thousand dollars that's like it just knocked me off my socks by you kill some spaghetti and I'm Josh because I didn't grow up like my mom would cook maybe once a week and so when a woman cook a meal like my wife she cooked did you know she didn't cook at first but and she didn't cook I didn't know how to cook my mom could cook amazing but my wife played like four different sports three four sports and so she was always traveling always at a game always doing something so she wasn't raised like domesticated she wasn't raised like knowing how to cook every meal and so my wife didn't cook so that was something that was another thing that I had to work for so instead of her inviting me over to cook I had them buy her out to Popeyes you know she that was her first time eating papaya so she tells me cuz she's Jamaican so don't really eat a lot of fried chicken C you know curried goat and curry chicken and jerk chicken and you know salt fish and all that so I would take another papaya that's what I'm from and so it's costing me money whereas a lot of women do yeah come on over and our cooks on and you like oh so as a man you inside the first you inside the first two months you know in ten days because if you do one day a week and I say you you vet in a man for ten dates you need to vet a man for ten days so before you give him any privileges before you kissing him like in a real way before you let him correct caress rub on you you know before you let him spend the night at your house before you let him you know get privileges you vet him for ten days and if he want to do two dates in a weekend Friday night and Saturday night okay cool then it just go that's gonna take out five weeks you see what I mean this is how a man earners you and so with a lot of women do is come on over and his first day second day third day she on my short short so she got a little tight leggings and then she and they're cooking cooking a one meal she know how to cook one meal her grandmother my mother show her and I mean she's gonna put her foot in it and it'd be the best thing cuz she trying to bait a man see me and know that me and I already know that because he got something to compare you to it's another woman over here who he was with her six months but she cooked for him and then it's certain type of women that within the first few months he could a man could give her a sob story it's tough being a single man especially when you had an amazing mom like I didn't really have to you know do a lot of laundry and all of that then here go to woman she want to be Katniss Ava Oh laundry that's so easy for me like I was doing laundry since I was 9 or 10 years old you could drop your laundry off over here that's totally fine and the man like whoa okay we only been dating three months don't even wash my drawers so he had the house in the st. you know scrub and trying to get that look crud out of drol trying to get the crud drop full he'd take it over that tool or he keep all these cruddy drawers and let her wash you know you know pants and all of that shirts and he walks hand washing his drawers and and think about it is he know how to wash he know how to do kahiko do laundry and fold clothes better than she can but he just planned a man gonna play you to see how desperate you are to see if you looking like who shot John I forgot to kill him see if you booboo the fool and so oh you gonna be so hungry see if you see if you know how to cook see if you gonna cook because he know I don't need to know how to cook because when I realized she really wanna know ready-made cook I was like okay well either we're gonna have to learn how to cook together well I'm gonna have to learn how to earn the wok afford to eat out here tonight and have a different shelter the night chef Ruby tools did a nice shelf olive garden that night shelf Chili's the night shelf Appleby the night shelf Kobe steak house you know the night shelf Lucy's was hot and ready so I'm gonna have to learn how to learn so that's the mindset I went into I ain't looked down on because she couldn't cook I ain't looked down because she wasn't trying to be a housemate because she wasn't watching my dirty drawers and all of that I looked at as a classy respectable woman who know who she is who knows she don't have to work for a man she got bent over for a man and a lot of time women say well how do I show a man on wife material if I don't cook and clean for him that's not wife material what who told you that a wife means a housemaid if that's not in your wheelhouse if that's not in your skill set then y'all got to be able to earn the money or he got to be able to earn the money before the housemaid or he got to get in there endure or y'all get in there learn how to do it together like that you don't have to come pre prepackaged I cook I clean I do laundry you know I slide down poles I sing on the microphone I do this I do that know what you need the brain wife is a woman who is respectable who is responsible who is full of integrity and character she's honest she's trustworthy that's what a wife is she's god-fearing that's what a wife feels wife does has nothing to do with your domestication around the house how good can you do laundry and fold clothes how good can you cook daddy that has nothing to do with being a wife but see we've made that it we've made it that way and especially grown boys you know male misogynist male chauvinist whatever y'all want to call it grown boys that's what type of men put a lot of emphasis on that because they don't understand because guess what what they don't understand is that it's women who will cook three meals a day and what's he don't you she'll cook three meals a day you'll never see a dirty pair of socks or a dirty pair of drawers in your life soon as they hit the hamper it's done it's hot and ready the next day for you right back in your draw but when you got to go on the roll for a week or two she'll she'll be sleeping with another man men don't understand that it's women who know how to look perfect perfect body dang ain't gotta say you're light you got to get a microscope define you will say you're light ain't gotta say you're light and got a half out of place come completely waxed I mean brows done lashes done nails done lips feel crow's feet feel wrinkled forehead Botox I mean pristine head-to-toe but can't trust her further than you could see you and little and and let him man shoot his shot in the dam and he looked like he got more money than you she's looking for the next argument the the beer bottle down man don't realize that that is women that's built like that and so with the grown boys they come and they they looking for all these look can you cook can you cleaning can't do it sang on the microphone can you get on your bike you know that were they looking for that whoa I want to know how good she is at this when that means nothing that means not because guess what if she is amazing at this scene fall out the sky like that that come from practice buddy that come from frankness so a real man actually he won't a woman a real man actually won't his woman to be kind of amateurish like he kind of want her to be amateur and that's what women don't understand women coming up you try and do every trick in the book and don't realize that that's only impressing a grown boy who's going to be cheating on you anyways so he wants you to be an all-star in the bedroom because he just want to have good fun in there with you because he gonna be cheating on you anyways but a man who planned to be with you until death does you part he'd know y'all got time to learn he know y'all gonna learn together y'all go experiment and explore together you come in there and you all high-flying acrobatic in a bit won't a real man gonna be like who all-star team you play it on you mighty good juggling balls you was on the Harlem Globetrotters that's what he wondered who you been globe-trotting wit that you so good judgment bball in a bedroom like the Harlem Globetrotters and you thinking you getting credit because you just showed what I know you just set yourself up cuz a man gonna look at sideways so even if you didn't bend down the roll a few times and been around the block a few times and roll that bicycle a few times you gotta fall off one time to make him think that he finished be showing you and that you start an old fresh and that's literally what I mean is you got to reset from your last relationship if you had one and he flipped me and tossed you every kind of way when you come in a part of making a man earn you is he got a day two he got to court you he got to be with you and then when he get you that mean marriage for you like it mean for us who in the Holy Bible if that mean he need to marry you first and that's what you want didn't great and then when he married you they don't mean you pull out every trick in the book that'll mean you're doing everything still even in marriage okay it just regular then he got the express and communicate hey hey y'all got to talk y'all grow together you build together because you hit the reset button so you're not bringing in old tricks you ain't bringing in tricks that you were doing in your last relationship on this hill man cuz now he lookin like he can't even focus on on y'all because the stuff you doing in the kitchen in the bedroom whatever the stuff you doing is making him think we're you learn this at or why you treating me the same way you treated him why are you doing the same thing for me that you did for him because you didn't reset and so and sometimes women don't realize that when a woman say oh he's not the best man he's not that good but I can't leave because he is so good in the bedroom and I'm like how you think he got that good so he could have something brewing down there that he bought to have brewing in you because if he that good that come from practice and you ain't the only one he practicing with so you need to understand that and and appreciate a man who don't know his way around and and y'all got to grow together and bond together and build real love with real chemistry so that's what you got to understand overall is remove the desperation the frustration all of these things that's making you do too much kill too much show too much say too much and just read and respond let him do the talking be mindful as a woman that you not talking too much because when you talk too much you tell everything so now you read your whole script he knows what role to play he didn't he didn't read your whole script cuz you put it out there so he said okay he'll go to star okay I'm finna play Denzel I'm finna be Denzel in this movie and I'm finna when I can Emile war thank you for telling me everything you want in expecting me from a man on the first second date you should you don't have to tell a man what you won't need and expect from a man because he already know what a good man is and if he doesn't give you that then that means he doesn't feel you deserve it a man already know this innate this come from God like it's certain thing yet that we got to learn but deep down a man know deep down a man know he's just gonna see what you willing to get away with I mean what he can get away with what you willing to settle for but he already knows but if he doesn't want to give you that because he don't feel you worthy of it he doesn't feel you're his wife then guess what he might do what he might do is sit and let you talk you running your mouth and he's just taking notes okay so she like a man open the door I'm a dog I'm a cheater she don't even know that open the door told me nothing I'm still gonna be cheating on her it's what he's talking to herself I'm opening every door I'm all over her door I'm a closed her door I'm gonna get the restaurant door and she think a man should pull out her chair in the restaurant okay pull out a child even though her arms work she won't feel like Queen yeah pull out of jail oh she think a man should paid for the whole bill on the first date okay I'm gonna pay for it no doubt hmm pay for it absolutely okay and walk yeah open the door going I open your card Oh close your card oh okay got a rolls on the on the seat when I pick you up hehe just taking notes because you didn't told him how to be a man what you looking for in a man that's gonna get you aquafina ready and I see where I'm from we trans that for Hill you told him what's gonna get you there for Hill ready you know what I'm talking about you just let him know what's gonna get you ready so now he had no plans and intentions or doing any of that because he don't feel that you were there that because he doesn't see you as being his wife you won't meet his initial requirements he talking to you for practice he talking to you just wet it whistle he talking to you just to go through the motions just you the sparring partner for his real championship fight for the woman that he want to be with you the sparring partner but didn't know it you came in there talking talking talking like you the trainer so not even did all this talking now he's gonna give you exactly what you say you looking for and then what you gonna do is when he does exactly what you told him you want it you gonna give him credit for it as if he did it on his own and then when you give him credit for it you fall in love with him because he just did everything that you said you wanted in a man and that was not him and it was not what he was gonna give you so now you fall for him you give him all the credit for everything that he has done and then boom you own your bike and so now he gets what he wants he get what he wants after he get it a few times 11 is the number after hidden been down there with you 10 times he used to you cuz now by that 11th time even had you every kind of way he then had you every kind of way he then had you all the ways okay so now he used to you not so now come time number 11 and now he acting funny now you and my DM you have been dating this guy for a few months and everything was great everything he was so amazing but now now he's distant now he's acting distant now he's acting different and I don't understand it oh yeah that's what happened you talk too much you gave too much you show too much you did too much instead of sitting back letting him serve you let him work for you and you saying thank you let him show you who he is and you just read and respond or read and react you let him show you who he is what he believes a man should do and be and all it is let him show you that's why I tell when offer to pay your half on the first day so he can show you where his mind is that if you say oh okay cool yeah go ahead now you see what type of man he is if he said no no I got it now you see what type of man here you got to give a man enough rope to help himself or himself you got to get him the rope this let him show you what he gonna do with it instead of laying at all a lot and telling him well you know I really and he said well and this hot man set you up a man knows what he's doing so when he comes in he's gonna ask you what are you looking for in a man that's that's that's that's the trick question right there and that's where you have to be able to say I don't know I know it when I see it and he like oh okay Wow see he ready for that and you weren't ready for that but you're talking to the man you talking to the one who played all the games so you're gonna be up on game but you wouldn't know that but he asking you what do you look for in a man so that everything you say is everything he could pretend to be because he got one goal and that's to see how fast he can get you in them sheets okay and if not the sheets then the bike seat or whatever that's what he'd want to see how fast he can get you there and the faster he gets you there the less he thinks of you the less he feels for you point-blank periodic lot of y'all wanna argue with that but no that's what he trying to do and I be honest with you even a so-called good man a man who has good in him who can become upstanding citizen a great husband Great Father even that type of man may try you that way yeah yeah because for some man that's the only test they know for some man that's what they were shown that's what they were told try to get with him and see how fast she'll let you get with her and if she do it within two week if she do it within three months sure he that's what he has been told and that's all he knows and so he'll try you even as a good man he'll try you and if you don't know who you are what your standards are what you stand for and it's what you gotta realize when they say all is fair in love and when they say that what they saying is ain't no rules to this game out here you got to know who you are and you got to come with Joe settle rules and your standards because if you go out here in this dating world and you expect somebody to just come up and do right by you just because it's the decent human - do you sadly mistaken you gonna get toe up front a flow up you hit me you gonna get drunk like a mop you mean it's gonna be really bad for you if you just expecting human decency because the man that you meet you'll know who raised them you don't know where they come from you don't know what it allows what they didn't seen what they don't suffer what they they gone through you know none of that so you gotta have your rules your regulation what you stand for what you believe and if you have that now you get the see who he really is so now let me think now it's something I'm leaving out here cuz I just flowing off the top and I don't have any notes no car so it's um uh probably and y'all have so many questions y'all okay so what about this now if he ties his shoe with his left hand and then to his right hand what does that mean so I know y'all got a question that I don't love but maybe I could put that in another video but overall what I need you to take from this video and stop doing the most stop doing the most stop feeling like you gotta cook for a man cleaning for a man get on your bike for a man before he's even your man what I mean by this man your man meaning y'all are exclusive you item you in a relationship and it's been that way for at least six months like stop trying to flirt with a man be cute for a man just be yourself what I mean by that is don't be trying to look sexy and bite your lip and call him boo and baby on and all that you just met the man don't don't kissing on the first date you need cross your mind let him grab and squeeze and touch on you should not be crossing your mind you need to vet this man so literally pretend this work this how you got to pretend how would you act if you met me if you met me and some people are huggers but how would you hug me me being a married man how would you hold me if you met me and we went out to dinner to talk about business how would you behave how would you talk at that dinner that's that's the same energy if you met me as a married man or even if I was single no no if not if I was saying it but as a married man if you met me when you're gonna invite me to your house you what's your answer it might be never unless your wife come with you or never unless we married unless we in a relationship you become unmarred that's the same thing a man should not be coming to your house unless y'all are exclusive and you know what feel it and believe it and the same energy you would have with a platonic situation like if you was talking to me or in an other merit man the same energy you have it'll be a light hug it wouldn't be no kissing wouldn't be no flirting wouldn't be no nasty talk wouldn't be none of that keep that same energy for the first ten days for the first 10 days the only difference in this situation is you're not actually dealing with a married man actually you might be dealing with a married man and don't know what you might be dinner with a taking man and don't know what so that's why you got to keep this same energy for the first 10 days not only difference is is what no it's not a difference if you're dealing with a man that is married and did not dealing with but if you know a man like you're doing business with a merit you're not gonna text that man you're not gonna be calling that man you're gonna be there for the meeting when he reached out for the meeting and he set up the meeting you're not gonna text him at a certain time cuz you don't know if his wife said no his phone you're not gonna call him before a certain time or after a certain time if you do need the text or call him you're gonna do it inside of some parameters inside of certain times because he's married so that's the same thing you have to you have to have the same energy with a man that you need that you getting to know and it takes on average about 10 days before you really get to see this man and know this man and that's ten physical dates meaning two hours or more on a date and in between those dates y'all are talking for an hour a day it doesn't have to be an hour straight it can be 15 in the morning 15 at lunch 15 right after work 15 at night before bed it could be 30 on your lunch break 30 at night or it might be just texting through the day and then an hour conversation from 9 p.m. to 10 p.m. right before bed whatever it may be he a man who wants you and it's and it feels like you have the potential to be his wife he gonna get you out of day some what I'm saying he got our together you don't have our together you'll need to be dating because it's gonna take you an hour today to get to know a man if you don't have an hour to give then close your leg close your eyes close your ears to men and go on about your business working on your career working on your brand if you don't have an hour data kill if you don't have one day to wait a week to give you shouldn't be dating because anything less than that you gonna get tore up front of flow of you hit me listen what I'm telling you now hang on leading wrong now listen to me not a ton of guys in here god bless you we'll talk soon

Channel: Tony Gaskins

Views: 447,794

Rating: 4.9102864 out of 5

Keywords:

Id: lcHRlvHRiRA

Length: 52min 42sec (3162 seconds)

Published: Wed Mar 25 2020