Can you be friends with your Ex? | Tony Gaskins

hey Tony Gaskins here now I know on these relationship videos you so used to seeing four-minute video 7 minute videos 13 minute videos but listen to me when you really are in a relationship when you really think about this thing when you really get down to the caveats and nuances you began to understand that there's nothing simple about relationships especially if both parties don't understand themselves and understand think about this the man and the woman has to get to the point to where you understand yourself you love yourself you understand what a good man is you understand what a good woman is and you understand what a healthy relationship is that's a lot of knowledge and so it takes way more time than we give it and that's why we fail because think about this you go through school from pre-school all the way through your doctorate degree if you go that far and you never take a class on loving relationships think about it but yeah the number one thing that everyone wants is someone to love them but we have no preparation for love so I want to answer this question because I hear so much about an ex when I do my YouTube lives when I do my Instagram Q&A in the story I get this question all the time well all of the questions deal with my ex my ex my ex and that's just it's dangerous it's very dangerous and it doesn't mean that it can't work out but that's what you have to understand can you be friends with your ex and the straight answer first is no that's the straight answer but then you have a yes yeah you plan to get back together but here's the thing there are some caveats in here because if a man leaves the woman so if the man leaves the woman you have to understand man men will never walk away from something that they love a man just won't do it I mean look at sports look at sports like think about boxers a boxer pretty much fights until he dies like he literally grows old in the cage in the ring think about every other like Michael Jordan the greatest ever retired walked away came back looked terrible for a little bit and you know God rest his soul you know Kobe Bryant we saw him play 20 years that last season you know it was a tough season grueling and when you look at a man and when a man loves something it eases through his pores like when a man loves something like they they'll show you you know the movie always reference taken with Liam Neeson that's a fictional representation of a man's love like that's what it looks like and there's why I need every woman to hear me when I say this a man who loves you will never leave you he will never leave you the only way he leaves you is if you cheat on him and he loves himself if you cheetah and when I say cheap not just like physical sex with somebody else but I mean cheat in the sense of if you're disrespecting him and that's against his rules if you are lying to him using him manipulating him deceiving him you know cursing and yelling at him or cheating on him emotionally or physically so when you go against the man standards that he has for his life if he loves himself then he loves himself enough to walk away and that's the real definition of self-love so if a man leaves a woman then no you cannot be friends with your ex if you are the woman if the woman leaves the man now this is where it comes in so if a woman leaves a man for cheating for lying or for something he did wrong now in this case if the man if you leave a man for cheating or doing you wrong as a woman you can never you can never go back to him if he comes and chases you and in your heart you feel like he made a mistake and you want to forgive him then that is when you can entertain him but this is the thing it has to be intentional he has to be intentional so the only way you can entertain your ex man is if you left him is if you left him the woman left the man and you left him for something he did wrong to you if you left him because he was too short if you left him because he wasn't your type if you left him because his breath was thing if you left him for any other reason other than what he did to you then never go back because why would you be going back because you left him because he didn't meet your preferences you went into the cold world and realize that it's not a whole bunch of good man that they are not growing on trees like leaves and you got your heart broke by the man that you wanted and so now your ex that you love look ugly that you call look ugly when you were talking to your girlfriend's your ex that you left he still standing still and he may be trying to get at you but that's what he wants to do get back at you he's you he resents you and he wants revenge oh you think I'm lucky i'ma show you something so if you as a woman leave a man because he is little ugly keep going because if you take that man back he gonna dog you out he gonna hurt you for leaving him because he knows why you left him if he knows he didn't cheat on you he treated you like a queen but then you end up cheating on him for tall dark and handsome man so think about this if you are a man and your woman cheated on you and you left her no you cannot be friends with him she broke busted and disgusted she cheated on you because she has low morals low values low character the same reasons a man cheese let her be let her lie in her mess let her sit in her mess what I called it let her sit in her mess and get the lesson for cheating on a good man and you've gone about your business you've gone about your business and find you a woman who can recognize and realize and respect a good man you cannot be friends with her because she has a Jezebel spirit and she will block your blessings if you left her because she wasn't the one for you but you say you got love for and you go and you get another girlfriend you cannot be her friend yeah I know you want to because you think she was meant to be your friend but if you truly love her let her go because if she loves you now guess what you're hurting her because you're dragging her alone and you're sending her mixed signals and this where this video came from woke up this morning and a lady left in the comments she said to me Tony I was with a guy we broke up he moved on he's in another relationship but he calls me all the time talking to me telling me everything that's on his heart I'm confused because in one video you said that if a man leaves you he doesn't want you and then on this video you're saying if a man leaves you he always comes back or something like that she said and I respond to her I said you answered your question he doesn't want you he wants the woman that he's with but he wants to be in your life meaning he want to keep you stuck see a lot of times men go back sometimes women go back because she realized she made a mistake because she left a good man for no reason she loved him because of her preferences but he did nothing to her so I get that question from women too I didn't really like him I wasn't really feeling them I left them now I'm missing them now I regret it should I go back I don't recommend it because he's gonna Harbor some resentment now let me help you understand why you cannot be friends with your ex see when you and understand friends friends mean that you are confidant a friend is a confidant a friend is someone that you talk to you share your hopes your dreams your fears your worries that's what a friend is so if you're saying like if you're calling a friend someone that you say hi and bye to someone that if you see you're cordial with that's not a friend that's where people get this thing confused that's not a friend that's an associate you do do that to a stranger so stop confusing the terms friend is one guy came and to me and he said you define friend with a very very narrow view so if you divide define friends as narrowly as you do then no men and women can't be real friends and I'm and I'm like that's what a friend is like a friend is rare you don't have 50 friends real friends you may have one two three at the max real friends everybody else is an associate a colleague you know a comrade a co-worker a teammate like on your literal team but it's people on the same team that hate each other it's people with the same blood coursing through their veins they hate each other it's people working the same department rushed on the same line for the fraternity or sorority they hate each other so friend is something that is rare it is special and it is a small circle so understand that so when I say can you be friends with your ex the answer is no you either going to get back with your ex and be lovers or be nothing at all because and the only way you are something is if you have children together and that is a business relationship it's a business relationship there's no we're not together but let's go on vacations all together none of that let's go on a walk in the park together let's go out to eat together know that especially if you want to move forward in your life and you want to attract somebody else now see here's the issue the issue with this is so often this what happens and it goes both ways so often the woman leaves the man to send him a message to try to teach him a lesson and then she sits and she waits and she wonders is he coming back is he coming back when is he gonna come back what's taking him so long is he gonna come Chase me is he gonna work from for me you left him for the wrong reason you can't leave someone my wife said it the other day when we did alive with y'all it's called a woman's influence with sharee Gaskins if you missed it and she said you have to leave for you you can't leave trying to play a game like you can't leave you got to leave because you are leaving for you and you got to move on with your life you can't leave playing a game waiting for him to come chase you this is the other side of that that I always see men men take women for granted she toner mist reader light or deceiver manipulator user controller then she finally finds the strength whether talking to herself talking to a friend or she bumps into some of my videos reads reason one of our books finds the strength and leaves and now the man is on bended knee oh I messed up oh I messed up now my inbox is getting blown blown up oh I messed up I messed up I ran my woman off and it's like that's what you get that's what you get why did you take it for granted in the first place why are you so sorry now you should have had that energy before you ran her off so if you ran her off let her go let her go unless you know the only way as a man if you ran this woman off the only way that you should go back to that woman to try to win her back is if you know for a shadow if you know beyond a shadow of a doubt if you know for a fact that you can be faithful to her for the rest of your life if you can treat her like a queen for the rest of your life and that's the issue right there 9 out of 10 times when a man goes back to his ex to be with her he gets her back she's skeptical she doesn't really trust he's the perfect amazing man for a year she drops her guard he gets complacent then he dogs are out again he cheats on her again because he had not made a decision to be a new man to be a better man he did not do the work he did not read a real relationship book he did not pay for a session or four sessions or eight sessions or twelve sessions with a real relationship coach he did not work on himself and change himself all he did was beg and plead and cry for another chance but on the inside nothing changed and that's why women get dead dirty on the next time around and I've read countless time from women I gave him another chance and he did me worse the second time than he did the first time and let me help you understand that because when you leave a man you prick his ego you hurt his ego that's why these men is so many men on YouTube with these tactics to get women back because it's a butthurt man and he and he goes to YouTube to get all these tactics these conniving sneaky tricky tactics to get a woman back and guess what it's because a man who was ain't short of crazy did everything in the book to get his ex back didn't even want her back but his ego was hurt and he did not want to accept failure men hate failure men hate losing men hate rejection that's why men come back it's not even about you it's about the loss it's about the failure it's about the rejection women ask me sometimes well why if he left me or if he cheated on me why is he angry and being rude and nasty to me when he was in the wrong it's because of the rejection it's because of the failure he's angry he failed he's angry that you found the strength to love yourself to not kiss his butt to not chase him whether you left him or if he left you for another woman he's angry that he lost his punching bag he's angry that he lost his cat his pet kitten he's angry that he lost his human teddy bear he's angry at that and so that's why he is rude and nasty when he's with this other woman and trying to make you jealous by doing stuff for her that he didn't do for you and posting pictures would hurt that he never posted with you it's because his ego is pricked and he's angry and this what you have to understand about me now men can make a mistake women can make a mistake people can be honest people can come back together and but I don't teach the exception to the rule so this what you got to understand if it's meant to be an exception to the rule it will prove itself to you you don't have to argue and fuss and fight and debate if it's meant to be an exception to the rule then it will prove itself beyond a reasonable doubt like you won't have a question if you have to ask me or anybody else a question about your ex and your exes feelings and intentions if you are feeling confused and you're getting mixed signals then you are not your relationship is not the exception to the rule you are a part of the rule and that is 9 out of 10 times when the X comes back it doesn't work out because you broke up the first time for a reason that's what you have to understand and realize nobody walks away from something that they really want nobody sabotages and mistreats and takes for granted something or someone that they really want that's what you have to understand so it's like this what's your dream car think about it what's your dream car think about it okay now imagine you got that car if you have that car you know what it feels like if you don't have that car imagine you have that car are you going to drive 90 miles an hour and wreck it into a brick wall makes no sense but that's the equivalent of a man cheating on a woman he driving 90 miles an hour going the wrong way and runs into a tree are you going to and he cheated on purpose are you going to purposely wreck your dream car see a lot of people don't understand you you get a confused like you broke up for a reason you broke up for a reason so you need to understand that if you are a part of the rule it's not gonna work when it comes when you get back together when you get back together and all this is a thing and a lot of times people try to point back to my relationship with my wife we married 13 years happy man we broke up in dating but the caveat is it had only been two months so I didn't even know her she didn't even really know me she just was quick to pull that trick she was quick but if she saw a red flag she out of there because she had just come from a grown boy so her grown boy radar was very sensitive so she saw Griffin I'm going that's totally different then when you've been with your person you were with your ex for a year two years three years four years five years they had more y'all have more than enough time to get to know each other to learn one another and to know how to make it work and if you couldn't make it work after a year or more then you have to realize you broke up for a reason so your situation doesn't compare to my situation where my wife was you know just on edge because she had just dealt with a grown boy so boom and then here's the truth in this is when she left my ego was so big because I was a ladies man at that time I used to deal with a lot of different women so my ego was so big I was like forget you I'm not chasing you even though I knew that she could be my wife this one thing that a man knows though one thing that a man knows about women is that any woman could be a wife it's not that it's just one woman that is so that's a wife because women typically are lovers nurturers like a man can make almost any woman now you got a special type of woman that's kind of us that's a savage because of her pain that she's experienced she's been used abused taking advantage of mistreated and she turned into a sandwich she was like I'm not gonna keep losing this game I'm gonna learn how to play this game and I'm gonna master it and I'm gonna be the best at it and she's like a black widow out there you got that type of woman but that woman is is rare it's more rare and so I can name names but when you if you look in the media reality TV you could pinpoint the black widows out there and so but that woman is not that common and take this from the man who had been out there and been around and so with my wife my ego was so big and that's the thing that you have to realize about me man well a man if he gets left now I didn't leave her because I knew she could be my wife I wasn't gonna leave her but I wasn't also but what I wanted was for her to stoop to my level to let me be and do what I wanted to be and do and she was like no you gonna be the best version of you if you're gonna be with me so understand this it's a difference not take your time take your time you need to listen okay you might need to rewind this a man is not going to leave a woman that he sees as a wife but he may not change for the woman right away he may test her to see if she's gonna accept him for who he wants to be his lower self and if she leaves he may forgo that woman and let her go because of his ego he may let her go because of his ego understand that but here's the thing women say what will he regret it not really because it's not that much of a difference between one woman to the next unless she's in the savage class but other than that women on average want love women on average want to have a man to please a man to start a family to have the white picket fence and the dog women on average want that then not every woman but most women want that so guess what most women will be you can deal with most women will be tolerable they're gonna be respectful understanding everyone have their quirks their little ways about them but almost any woman can be a wife so that's what you got to understand that's why he doesn't always regret it so what question is well why does he come back this is where we have this is where that turn of a soul tie comes in a man see when a woman comes back and when a woman goes back to a man when a woman leaves a man because he's little ugly and then she goes back this because she faced the cold reality of the world and she realizes that she let a good man go for no reason see when a man goes back it's it could be it could be a little bit of that sometimes like oh he realizes she was a good woman but it's not really that because the next woman was a good woman and the next woman was a good woman just because of how women are raised and so but what it was for the man is where we come into with the soul time so men are kind of like children men or we're kind of like a doll you know might be why we you call us a doll but I learned from from a doll is the dog they pick up routine fast so when you take them on a wall they know how to get back home when you get close to your house they they know your house they know not to leave the house like they go out to the front yard they go out to the sidewalk but they know not to go only way they're going run is if they don't want to live there or they being mistreated on the inside but other than that they know where to be and so that's kind of how a man is he gets you he's a creature of habit so your smile your voice your laughter your nurturing spirit when he's sick you took amazing care of him when he needed to talk you listen if he wanted to be vulnerable you didn't make him feel like a pump or a chump you listen and then you spoke life into him you were positive with him like you y'all had y'all issues you may be yell first fight sometimes got into stuff but he felt your heart for him but see this is his thing when a man leaves you or when a man lets you go like if you love him and he's gonna come back fighting and clawing tooth and nail for you and he goes on to another relationship by the lady who asked me he has a new girlfriend this is the thing this is the reason why man it's gonna be hard to hear it's gonna be hard to hear there's gonna be hard to hear okay it's because the physical is because of the physical you don't have the but that he wants or the flat stomach that he wants or the breasts that he wants or the eye color that he wants or the skin complexion that he wants or the hair texture that he wants or the level of income that he wants see men are different from women in the fact that men are very superficial on average we're not I don't teach exceptions because somebody has driven 90 miles an hour and hit a tree and lived but if you do that odds are you're going to die okay that I don't teach exception so don't come in my comments trying to argue your exception I'm an exception but I don't teach to do it the way that it worked for me because I know I'm an exception so understand this on average men are very superficial men are visual creatures women are - to a certain degree but it's a lot of women with a little ugly who married a man that's a little idea man typically when a man marries a woman that is rough on the eyes it's because of something else it's because he/she has money it's because the way she takes care of him it's because he feels like he's with his mother and he's sleeping with his mother oh yeah oh yeah that's too real now that's too real but a lot of men let me tell you what what what a lot of men are actually looking for on average and this is what you got to realize a hot mom a hot mom yeah it's sad getting sad what what I mean by this is a lot of men are looking for a woman who is hot you know like your friend's mom who was like whoo but she does everything a mom can do like she can cook she can clean she can run the house she can take care business she you know just Bionic super woman but she's gorgeous that's what men get caught up so much in fantasy man caught up in so much in fantasy than reality and that's the difference between men and women now some women caught up in fantasy too but what I mean by this is you know how men have like toy cars like as I Drive down my street when the garage doors are open it's so many men with a classic car men like toys like you spend 60 thousand a hundred thousand dollars on this old-school car painting it fixing it up changing the engine I'm trying to do the same thing myself we just like to have something to get into take our mind off stuff and to escape men like fantasy and to be away from reality and so what happens is a lot of men hinder themselves from real love because they can meet a woman who truly loves them a man could meet a woman who truly loves him but he will sabotage the relationship because he has always dreamt about a woman with green eyes and this one that has dark brown eyes I remember men telling me I remember a black man telling me I want a woman she has to have long black hair she has to be red red is like skin you know or exotic I remember a Italian guy you know he was Italian and something else telling me I want a woman but she has to have black hair she has to have like she has to have dark hair and she has to have light eyes and she has to have like a olive color skin you know like you know that's that skin color that's in between dark and light she has to have that color basically a white woman with a tan but a natural looking tan and she has to have an accent yeah yeah like huh I remember talking a guy in the matchmaking I used to do matchmaking I don't do it - no more it's too much headache it's too expensive and he was like she has to be fired nine or taller five three is too short yeah she's beautiful but she's too short I'm like wow so men are like that women have a list - but women will compromise their lists their preference is faster than a man will so that's what you have to understand when your man left you it's not because you're a bad person it's not because he couldn't deal with you couldn't put up with you were spent unless you cheated on him if you cheated on him I'm not talking to you okay I'm not talking to you talk to the women who you were good woman in the relationship you didn't cheat on him you didn't dog him out you didn't manipulate him use trash him and he sabotage your relationship either he left you or you had to leave him because of what he was doing if you are cheating woman and and he left you for that I'm not talking to you cuz he left you for cheating but a lot of times men leave a woman because she's not physically or financially what he wants a man chooses a woman physical or financial the personality men become Navy SEALs men become Special Ops men fight MMA men box men play football what I'm saying what I'm saying by that is men can endure a whole lot of pain so personality with a woman is not all that is not really a deal-breaker like if a woman is exactly what he dreamt of looks-wise she could be the snobbiest just Rudess nastiest woman the world has ever seen and he's gonna put up with it if a woman is financially this gonna hurt this this gonna hurt this gonna hurt but I'm gonna help you understand this because I was a matchmaker okay so one thing that I understand is what looks attract what looks that's one thing I understand clearly let me help you understand is a man who looks like Stedman his type when that man that's that skin complexion that's that height that's that demeanor describes what he wants in a woman and want his ideal woman that woman will never look like Oprah Winfrey nothing wrong with Oprah nothing wrong with Oprah but that man that statement is it will never look like Oprah Winfrey Point Blank period point blank period I hate I hate that but that's a very big example now listen to this there's another example for you of how is typically physical or financial when a woman who looks like Beyonce describes her ideal man that man will never look like jay-z nothing wrong with jay-z he's somebody tight so what is it financial status power influence that Trump's that supersedes that overrides everything else so understand this as a woman when a man sabotages the relationship when he sabotage a relationship for one he's either he's a grown boy because he's a grown boy just point blank period let's get that out of the way he's grown boy he's immature because if you're not his type he shouldn't have approached you he shouldn't have even gotten with you he should have been man enough to say you're not my type he should have been man and you gonna cry in a car you gonna cry in a car but he should have been man enough to say it's not gonna work out so he's a grown boy well let's make no excuses for the grown boy ISM okay but on this next on this next part what I need you to understand is after that it's because either [Music] you're not financially or you're not physically where he wants you to be so now that makes me think of well why would Jay Z cheat on Beyonce because she's financially and she's physically what men desire well for one some people say this whole cheating thing was a publicity stunt and didn't happen we don't really know we don't really know but if it is real the reason would be is because of ego and it would be it would be because of a bruised ego and what I mean by that is if a man does not grow if he has not grown and he has not healed if his woman out earns him or is bigger than him more powerful than him more famous than him or has more longevity than him her trajectory is higher than his and she's she's like it will make a man shrink and feel insecure and also if the man feels like the woman chose him with ulterior motives so when a man looks in the mirror he's hard on himself and what a man is going to do he's going to go back to the 8th grade 6th grade he's going to picture the 6th grade version of himself and he's gonna picture this 6th grade version of her he's gonna look at the 8th grade he's gonna look at the 10th grade he's gonna look at the 12th grade and if that man feels that the woman that he married would not have married him when he was broke before the money in the fame he's going to harbor resentment for the woman and his revenge will be to cheat now let me help you understand this I'm explaining this to you but it may not make any sense to you because a lot of things men do don't make any sense a lot of things men do is stupid and immature I'm the first to admit it a lot of men will not admit it because of the man law we're not according to the man law we're not allowed to admit how stupid we are in a lot of cases when we're acting stupidly we're not allowed admit we have to turn a blind eye and be ignorant and oblivious to our stupidity according to the man law I don't live by the man in law because I understand it breaks down society and it calls discord and division between men and women which weakens the home which weakens our world and that's why we in the mess that we're in today because men refuse to man up and be real men and break the man law the man code that has broken down society and men want to have their cake and eat it too and be a bunch of punks and chumps and want to use women like pawns on the chess board and forgetting that the queen is the most powerful piece on the board a lot of men don't want to understand that and that's what ticks me off and that's why our society the way it is that's why I daughters slide down polls okay that's why our daughters on Instagram live twerking and showing everybody part because their daddy was sorry and then man want to make excuses for me and then when a man become a real man the man with the voices and the men in the position of power want to call a real man a simp want to call a real man or Chun not understanding that heater Chung heater pump heater growing boy because he can't love one woman and treat her as God's child treated away God intended for her to be treated but he'd want to call a real man of sin but really he'll sucker and he a punk now y'all gotta forgive me forgive me forgive me okay but that's where the problem lies so understand this man goals and sabotages the relationship and it's because he doesn't want you it's because he doesn't respect you it's because he wants you to put up with whatever he's willing to give you and I was fortunate to be an exception to the rule because of what God intended for me to do with my voice and with my experience and with my mistakes so understand that's why I live through the 90 mile an hour tree crash to do what I'm doing today and unless you got the same calling you're not gonna get through trying to be an exception so understand this right here you cannot be friends with your ex you cannot be friends with your ex you're either gonna get back and be all the way in from day one but if you try to be friends remember what I told you the reason why a man comes back to you is because you bring a peace and a soothing sense of soothing feeling to his life so he wants her booty or her money or her body but he wants your heart he wants your time he wants your energy to see let's say he's on this here frequency right here and let's say your energy is on this frequency right here pure healthy whole energy you bring him up when he talks to you see this woman her money may be here but her energy may be here so he wants you because you bring balance you bring balance but what it does for the woman or the man in this situation the one who's being used a man or a woman what it does for you is it keeps you stuck it keeps you stuck like a duck in a truck under plan but it keeps you stuck because now you sending you receiving mixed signals because you like do they want me do they want me or not like what's going on like how do you hold another relationship but still calling me honey how did with a whole nother person sleeping with a whole nother person married to a whole nother person but still calling me you know won't you cuz because they don't see you as enough they don't see you as enough but you play a vital piece you play a vital piece but see that's unfair to you if you just getting used as a pawn see you just appease just a sec stuff up you just a piece but you ain't the king or the queen and that's how they're using you and you because you receiving mixed signals you you're frozen in time you're frozen in time and so guess what your energy your romantic energy is for them this person man I wanna and you stuck there so when you walk you you seen the movies with a zombie when you dealing with your ex when you go to the grocery store to the gas station just what you look like you look like a zombie so when a potential suitor sees you your eyes are glass over your eyes glass over your shoulders are too stiff there's no fluidity to your movement you like a zombie that's how you are seen because you are stuck you are paralyzed by the put in a trance by your ex who is using you for a fix for a feel good so then you say well if I make him or her feel good then why are they with that person instead of with me it's because they you are missing something that they want but while they see you as imperfect based on their unrealistic fantasies someone else will see you as perfect so instead of feeling like you're imperfect you have to understand that you are perfect but your ex that you're entertaining can't appreciate your perfection so you are playing yourself by dealing with your ex and you are keeping yourself stuck and when you see this is thing lock beeps uh-oh no I'm friends with my ex and we're great friends and we get along great no y'all are cordial y'all are associates if you talking to your ex every day and you and a whole nother relationship then hold on the relationship that's stupidity that's stupidity and it's weakness because you don't need your ex in your life and you're blocking your blessings you can't even experience and realize the fullness of love because your energy is still tied to your ex that's what you have to understand like my mom and dad got a divorce they still talk but it's about me and my sister or it's about business my sister's business or my business it's about business they're not just on the phone I miss you I love you how are you doing who were you dating no my dad is remarried my mom is still single so I had a family business I opened the restaurant for them that they ran my dad my mom with my dad being remarried so yes that was unconventional but you know what it caused a lot of stress it caused a lot of it caused a lot of stress you know on my dad wife I know she had to feel it but my mom and dad they kept their distance they were business they were cordial but it's because I'm their son and I want them to have a business that they can pay themselves they just happen not to be together guess what it only lasted one year and I thank God that it only lasted one year because it couldn't end up costing my dad his marriage so the only thing that complicates that should complicate the situation with your ex is if y'all have children together me being the son of my mother and father and them being divorced complicated their situation that is the only thing that should complicate the situation with you and your ex if y'all don't have kids y'all don't need to have no contact if you don't have kids no contact completely cut off now and listen if y'all have contact that means y'all need to be back together but if you if if heat not coming all the way back or she's not coming all the way back y'all need to go your separate ways if y'all not willing to come back and do the work read the books take the courses get the coaching watch the videos whatever the work is to get the new knowledge to learn what y'all obviously did not know about each other and about loving relationships if y'all are not willing to come back and completely do the work to be together then go about your business cut it completely because you're hindering your blessings you're blocking your blessings because of their energy being in your life their energy is sapping your energy is sucking you dry and it's leaving you barren and empty and the person that is walking past you everyday sees you as an empty vessel you're a dead man or dead woman walk in your zombie because of you are still focused and tied to your ex and then guess what if your ex is in a new relationship and still calling you and talking to you yes your ex is absolutely hindering his or her relationship if you are in a relationship with somebody who is still talking to their ex in a friendly manner then you need to leave that person because they have a soul tied with their ex and they need to be held accountable to either go get what they ex or to focus on the only way you should be with somebody who's still talking today X is if they have children with that with that X or those X's because some of y'all with a man with multiple baby daddies or with a woman I mean with a man with multiple baby mamas or with a woman with multiple baby daddies so that's the and guess what those conversations need to be supervised so listen it's fine for you to talk to your ex about your children but if that's what y'all talking about you could talk right here especially when you getting to know this person you build him with this person trust got to be earn it got to be built because of soul ties if a person talking to the X they could easily be sleeping with the ex they can easily be flirting with the actors like the woman that was in my comments her ex flirting with her got her thinking he still loved her got her thinking he still she say she he talk to her tell all his business all his hopes fears dream just come 5 min so she actually feels special listen to me listen to me got to say this harshly a lot of y'all Christians ain't gone like this you ain't special that's stupid get ain't special that's stupid ain't calling you stupid I'm calling what you're doing stupid let your ex go if you ex don't want to be there if your ex left you or if you have believed your ex leave your ex B let him or her be and gone about your business so that you can meet the real love of your life hey you might need to watch this video every day if you're dealing with an ex to understand y'all either gonna be together and being a section to the rule and do the work but y'all gonna be gonna be a part but you cannot be in the middle you cannot play with it and don't kill what you think you know oh my man with my friend we get alone yeah my you blocking your blessings you fooling yourself you playing yourself you hindering everything that could be coming in your life because you're dealing with your past and let me help you understand something to love is to take a gamble to get in a relationship is to take a gamble and when you gamble most of the time you lose some of the time you lose so what I mean by that is is if you took a gamble on love and it didn't work out you lost move on move on you have to let it go you got to let it go because it's done it's over with so move on and if it's meant to be it will be and it will be beyond a shadow of a doubt it is Tony Gaskins celebrity life coach best-selling author your virtual coach make sure you get the book a woman's influence if you made it this far if you have not got this book it's a little sacrifice you know especially right now in these times but if you able get the book if you not wait till you are it's gonna bless your life I admitted some things I told some things as a man in here that I did not want to say that I did not want to admit to as a man but I did and I think it's gonna help you whether you male or female hey god bless you we'll talk soon

Channel: Tony Gaskins

Views: 104,955

Rating: 4.9350495 out of 5

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Id: ZE6E8eBAqWo

Length: 59min 24sec (3564 seconds)

Published: Thu Apr 09 2020