Stop Looking For Him!| Understanding Men University | Tony Gaskins

hey tony gaskins here popping in now didn't have a small business saturday in my spirit today but got a good question tonight from our group coaching call um for the 2021 jumpstart course that we're doing and one of the young ladies she asked she said tony you know how do i meet a man with this situation going on gotta wear a mask and you know working from home a lot and can't go to the grocery store all the time how do i how am i going to meet my husband and i want to tell you and a lot of times women don't like to hear this but just like the bible say he who finds a wife finds a good thing and receives favor from the lord it intentionally said he who finds a wife not he who is found by a wife not he who is pursued by a wife not he who is lured in by a wife so it's not a mistake and what you have to understand and i have to tell you this like i really don't really know how to make this any more clear for women than other than he will find you like all you have to do is exist all you have to do is just get out the house just just leave the house just go to the grocery store and i know a lot of you say well tony i'm i've been doing that and i'm 90 years old and still ain't met him listen the older you get the more serious you need to get about your life if you under 30 stop worrying if you under 30 stop worrying you over 30 don't worry but get actionable meaning sign up for coaching and get some feedback on the energy that you're sending off and literally a lot of times it's one thing a lot of times it's one thing because what you got to realize is a lot has to do with energy and then a lot has to do with presentation but your energy and your presentation a lot of times is determined by your thoughts your mindset where you come from what you come from what you've come through what you've overcome so that dictates your life in a lot of ways so if you don't recognize and realize that what your mom passed down to you or your dad passed down to you is toxic or you know worrisome or bothersome or alarming if you don't realize that because you've never been told by a healthy whole sane driven motivated positive successful individual outside of you to say hey that's not normal hey that's not healthy hey that comes from a place of fear you dress like that because of the trauma you experienced as a youth and you're still operating from that place of fear so you're saying where's my husband but you're dressing in a way that repels men because you still feel vulnerable and afraid so that has to be addressed through coaching counseling you know self-work or hey you are saying you want this in a man but you're not doing that as a woman so you're saying you want a man who's built like this but you're not built equivalent to that for a woman you're saying you want a man who is like this but you're not the match for a man who is like that but if you can't see yourself then you won't realize that you have a sign on your forehead that says rescue me or that you are living a lazy or complacent lifestyle but wanting something that you're not because you're seeking approval so you don't want to make the sacrifice that it takes for you to really change and grow in this particular area but you want someone who has made that sacrifice in an area of their life to grow or change in that way and then you will live through them they will be what you can't be or what you refuse to sacrifice to become they will be that for you but what you don't realize is that he does not want a woman who won't sacrifice in that area because he had to sacrifice in that area so this what you have to understand that just like you hear when the student is ready the teacher will appear when the wife is ready the husband will appear that's that's real it's hard to hear though it is hard to hear y'all get myself that's hard to hear because you might be in your 40s and you're like where's my husband what in the world what you mean when the wife ready uh when the wife ready hold on oh the husband will appear what are you talking about i'm ready i've been ready i'm a good catch yes but you can't catch yourself somebody has to catch you so what you have to understand is okay what is there that i need to be doing that's going to position me better and so for a lot of times it's like to be honest with you a lot the first thing a lot of times is superficial just because men are visual creatures so the first thing that i notice a lot of times is something superficial it's just a woman who she just hasn't tapped into fashion or you know her body you know just like you know doing what she needs to do with herself with the way she presents herself that's typically the first thing like in different people it takes different levels of you know focus on yourself and your presentation the next thing it it comes down to just mindset you know and heart your heart's posture your heart's positioning you know what are you living with what haven't you healed from what are you telling yourself and so so many women are saying i want a husband but in the next breath saying men are trash men are all dogs you you're gonna get cheated on no matter who you're with every man is gonna be unfaithful and so you're hearing that and so then you're like okay um that shows on your face and the other thoughts is well she has a husband she has a husband how does she get a man how does she get a man i look better than she does i make more money than she does my body's nicer than hers and then you're looking and you start to operate from a place of jealousy or a place of comparison and then that shifts your energy so now you're more so frustrated and fed up so when you walk past a man he sees a woman who looks frustrated and fed up and that's not an approachable face but you don't even realize that's what your face is saying because you haven't taken inventory of your thoughts of your personal thoughts and what you're telling yourself and so it's literally typically one tweak now when it's when there's no tweaks that need to be made that's when it's spiritual that's when it's a spiritual thing and god is saying to you i won't put more on you than you can bear you're not ready because you haven't completed or even began the work that you were given to do so [Music] what are you doing i can't send a man into your life when you haven't started your company or you haven't taken your certification or gotten your degree or you know gotten in position for your promotion or started your company so that you can start your non-profit or your llc your for-profit company you haven't activated purpose so if a man comes into your life right now before you've done what you need to do the growth the healing it could be mental it could be emotional it could be spiritual it could be you know physical it could be in business but it's a spiritual block to where the gods you're praying to the god you're serving you're not hearing you're not listening to because you're shouting commands and what you want but you're not being silent and still and hearing what you need to do what needs to be done by you and so not realizing that that actual activation do you notice how yeah you really don't see a successful woman single you know like if unless she wants to be single like most successful women and when i say success it doesn't i don't mean millionaires i don't mean a hundred thousand a year i mean a woman that is in her purpose a woman who's doing what she's put here to do you and regardless of her height her weight her color her look successful women meaning she's in her purpose and she's doing what she's called to do if she has worked on herself because there are successful women who are single but it's a mental block it's a mental block so a lot of the successful women i work with they still haven't who are single a lot of successful women who are single haven't overcome their loose booty 901 their loose booty ways and so they still getting on their back so yes you're successful in business but you're not successful in life because you don't understand the value of your body so every man you meet when he gets your body then you lose value to him because he's like she doesn't know her value and if i could sleep with her in this amount of time if i left tomorrow then another man could sleep with her in the same amount of time so then now she's racking up all of these diseases all of these babies all of these soul ties all of these bodies all of these connections and so a man who is quote unquote a good man in your eyes doesn't see you as quote unquote a good woman because you're not judging him for sleeping with you you could do the same math but you don't understand how he's judging you because he values your body more than you value your own body and he values your life more than he values his own life so he feels you are more of a prize than him so where he may feel like his body doesn't mean that much if he spreads it around he feels that your body should be reserved and that you should love yourself and respect yourself and he has this mentality that's like what you will call a double standard because you're like hey if you you asked me to do this so how are you judging me for saying yes and that is life my uncle is serving 40 years in prison because a undercover agent asked him to sell him some drugs so it's like how are you asking me how are you taking me to prison for something that you came and asked me to do like you set me up like you wouldn't have known that i do that if you wouldn't have came and asked me are you using it are you gonna go to jail if you secretly using it no but that is how most men try to find their wife just not knowing any better not hearing a video like this not realizing that he's damaging his soul and creating soul ties by pursuing you trying to sleep with you and then sleeping with you and then judging you for sleeping with him and you like how in the world you're gonna leave me for sleeping with you i gave you a gift i gave you a prize and i wanted something just like you wanted some so how are you better than me and that's the thing men innately see women as better than us he see he literally men are looking for a woman who can make them better if you have the same habits and the same shortcomings and the same downfalls and pitfalls as him he's like it's nothing you can do for me because you are to help me you supposed to be stronger smarter better and i'm looking up to you and i know this sounds crazy but just look around just look around every man that has changed his life for the better if he's in a relationship he attributes he attributes it to his wife what these men are saying is this woman because of her outlook on life because of her stance on life because of her belief system she made me want to grow and be a better man and if a man wants better and you as a woman reinforce his negative behavior his toxic behavior then he will leave you because he says i could do better by myself or i could do bad by myself so if you're gonna let me sleep with you and i haven't worked for you i haven't earned you then what is the point of us being together and me putting you on a pedestal if you don't even feel like you deserve to be on the queen pedestal and so but when when you as a woman and then some women say no you got to work for me but they aren't working for themselves meaning she says no you gotta work for me but he's like but you're not a prize and you're like how am i not a prize and he's like well look at you you don't take care of your body you're not you know trying to get in shape you're not trying to be better but yet you're saying we can't sleep together i can't sleep with you but you're not taking care of yourself so you want prized treatment but you're not doing prized behaviors and so that's another reason why you see so many men move on with their life and it's typically one thing and a lot of times you can want a man as a woman but not be spiritually available not be emotionally available and the man can tell that so a man and so you can be in protective custody meaning that god has his hands on you and will harden the heart of a man and not allow a man's heart to be softened enough to fall in love with you or fall for you because you haven't activated and done what you're supposed to do and then what you have to understand is you attract you attract the man based on your level so if because different people like different things so the type of man that you attract as a high school dropout will not be the same type of man that you would attract as a ged holder would not be the same type of man that you attract as a bachelor's degree holder as a master's degree holder as a doctorate degree holder at different levels of men and different levels of attraction based on how a man views himself the man that you attract when you are [Music] two 300 pounds overweight is different than the man you will attract at 200 pounds overweight different than the man you attract at 100 pounds overweight at then the man at 80 pounds 50 pounds 40 pounds 5 pounds overweight because it's different levels of men so a man who doesn't you know who struggles with his weight and he doesn't know how to or he doesn't care to get the weight off if he knows how to but he doesn't care to then he's okay with a woman who is you know way overweight but he's the same way but for a man that may have different implications than it does for a woman so for a woman it may not mean that because you're overweight you are you know sloppy in the house and messy in your house and or lazy at in business but for a man if he is way overweight that may be a byproduct of him being unorganized undisciplined lazy unmotivated so a lot of times where women don't understand where is my husband and why am i not attractive to a man because he he does the same thing or he has the same fault so he has the same issues or he has the same this is different it means different things based on society yes there are double standards and yes we operate under those whether we like it or not 99 percent of people operate under double standards and men and women have double standards of their own that they've made up that they've seen that they've accepted and so it's different it means different things a woman who smokes weed is has that's different it has different implications than a man who smokes weed a woman who drinks different than a man who drinks a woman who will sleep with a man on the first night different than a man who will sleep with a woman on the first night a lot of times the reasoning is different a lot of times the thought process is different the feeling is different what it does mentally emotionally spiritually is different why because we're not the same being men and women are not the same being so a woman can't think like a man and a man can't think like a woman so you have to understand you and where you need to be so and it's different levels because a lot of times we behave in the world based on how we are treated and we are treated how we're treated is determined by how we look and how we look is determined by societal norms and of beauty constructs in your region in your state in your country you know in your socio-economic class and so you have to understand this now this may be something that they did not teach in college or in high school and this may be very painful to hear that's why i'm doing it between you and i so you can hear it on your own don't let your insecurities speak for you in the comments just get what i'm telling you and understand this is the real world whether you like it or not whether it makes sense or not whether it might not make sense but that doesn't mean it's not reality and but here's the the bottom line the truth is is when you are ready he will come when you are ready your husband a man sees you every anywhere but here's the thing based on your natural look you may need to be doing something different with your eating habits with your body with your face care routine with your hair care routine with your clothes you may need to be doing something different but you're doing the wrong thing because you haven't gotten unbiased outside feedback and the work that it may take you feel like it's too much so you say okay talking to a fashion consultant and setting a budget aside and getting outfits and paying this fashion consultant to go to the mall with me or to sit on zoom with me while i order these clothing items offline is too much work i am not doing that but if you were raised in a very conservative backwoods country a certain type of extreme or very hollywood uh fashion forward borderline way too much too loud too you know too skimpy if you were raised in a certain type of extreme then it takes extreme measures to balance yourself out so that you can be approachable so that you can be attractive in your natural skin in your natural body i'm not saying go get under the knife get face surgery because everybody beautiful in the sight of god and beauty is in our beholder everybody look good to somebody but it may but even your somebody may require that you do a little bit more preparation than you're doing and that's where the painful part is is a lot of times it's just one thing and it's like listen okay with the situation that god gave you you can't wear that and you can't just do that or you can't just say that or you can't just you know you got to adjust and adapt and do this over here and sometimes just honest real raw feedback so it's like when i got my wife i didn't have my four gold teeth on the top i just had a two on the bottom she fell in love with me but she eventually encouraged me to get them two gold teeth off the bottom you see what i mean so she really wanted a clean cut man not no man when the two gold tee separated looking like an old school two dollar pill she wanted a clean cut man you know i used to have braids and i had a little twist at one point she like my hair low cut clean cut you know so guess what if i would have been so stuck on having six gold teeth long scraggly goatee you know locks i wouldn't have attracted my wife because she's not attracted to lox even though she's jamaican and people had a stereotype that jamaican men got lost all jamaican men got locks and and all the way jamaican women gonna be attracted to lost my wife does not like locks at all she's not attracted to her and she's always told me that the whole time she don't like a man who shave his legs as athletes we shaved our legs and some some athletes shaved their arms too she did not like that me being an athlete when i met her i used to shave my legs she expressed to me i don't like shaving leg i don't want a man who legs moving in mine and i also don't want a man who when your hair is going back you prickling me under the covers your legs rubbing up under me and cutting me with them coarse sharp hairs growing back my wife told me that so you see what i'm saying even in what you're looking for everybody gonna have certain preferences that to them it implies something so that preference although some preference got to be you know weeded out that preference implies something about you and so when so when your husband isn't showing up there is some work to be done because you can have what you want but you have to become what you want to attract and so literally and it's this painful but literally and this goes both ways men and women like i've seen guys who they had a vision of the type of wife that they want but it was something about their personality or their lifestyle that they refuse to change so the type of woman that he wants doesn't want him or men want this certain type of woman and this woman may be shapely with nice you know butt nice thighs you know nice mid section but the man may be you know uh built like this toiletry bag and so he want a woman that's like this right here but then he want to be built like this and the woman she's like listening i've put in too much work in the gym you know i've i i sacrifice yes i want to eat popeyes every day because i love the taste of that louisiana fake fried chicken yes i want popeye but i sacrifice and i eat grilled chicken and broccoli because i know what that grease is gonna do to my body so this woman is saying like yes i want to eat at midnight and and have you know high sodium ramen noodles because they tasted and i used to love them in college but i stopped eating at eight pm to give my body a window you know the process the work on the healthy fueling foods that i've eaten in the day and yes i want to drink soda because it's tasty and i love the carbonation as it's going down my throat but i substitute that soda for water because the longevity that it's going to give my body and what it does for my cells and my skin that's what the woman is saying so she's saying listen i understand you got a good heart and see i have to flip this because sometimes women get offended when it's on them but really the same thing is being said in a lot of cases the woman said listen i understand you got a good heart i understand you successful but we're not compatible because when i want to go to the gym you want to go to the table when i want to drink water you want to drink soda when i want to live to see a hundred you probably gonna live to see 65 because of your lifestyle and your habits so we're not compatible because i don't want to get married to you and then i'm going on and i'm ready to travel and then you going to meet the lord because of the way that you've chosen to live your life because of the ignorance that you were raised with in an area where people were not educated about the body and how it works and you've remained in that ignorance and you've remained in that cycle of ignorance and you now are a product of your environment and although knowledge is in front of you and being presented to you you don't want to get this knowledge and grow you don't want to change so we're not compatible and that a lot of times is what it is and it's typically something you know mental some just a mindset a thought process a belief system or it's physical you know which that pretty much encompasses everything mental or emotional or physical but you have to identify what area it is and just see okay like look it's what it's going to take or you may have to identify okay who are you attracted to and why are you attracted to that type of man who put that in your mind who told you that's handsome who told you that's a good man who told you that's husband material who put that in your mind what's the root of that and why are you overlooking this man right here who wants you [Music] why do you want this type of man when this is the type of man that is crazy about you and wants you and this type of man that you want sees you as average and mediocre in every day because he can have this other type of woman or he wants this other type of woman but you want him so he will do with you he'll settle for you but he doesn't want you but to you he is a prize because he's 6'4 or because he's muscular or because he looks tough or because he looks like he can provide security financially or physically or spiritually and so he looks like this ideal husband but he doesn't want you he doesn't want you he doesn't respect you he doesn't see you as a prize he doesn't see you as as a wife but you want him because that's your vision of a husband but you haven't evaluated how he feels about you and how he sees you and women like you nor have you taken into account how this man over here sees you and why he adores you and why he wants you and what it is about him that is quality characteristics that you're that this other guy that you want does not have but this guy here is you're not identifying why you're not attracted to him and and getting to the root of that to see if it's a vain place a superficial place a place of ignorance a place of you know misinformation miseducation and that's the same thing that some men do a lot of men suffer from that same thing they're not evaluating that but here's the other key is you got to be okay with not being chosen or not being approached by a man who has a double standard a man who believes and lives in a double standard and can't see himself refuses to look at himself and only wants to judge you you have to be okay walking away from that man you got to be okay not being what that man wants because that's his loss because he doesn't even know what he's looking at because he's not really a man he's a grown boy so you have to understand that and be okay with that and realize that this the thing yes the man for you is the man for you your husband is your husband but what you have to realize is your husband that you're going to be successful with your husband that you're going to be happy with he doesn't just want you he wants the best version of you because he is presenting or is growing with you he wants you to be growing at the same rate that he's growing he wants you to have goals like he has goals so yes he's your husband and he wants you but he doesn't want the mediocre complacent version of you the version of you that won't sacrifice and just wants to give in to you know youthful lust and feed your you know the childhood traumas or generational curses or ignorance that you were raised with want to just wallow in that he doesn't want that version of you he wants the version of you that wants more that wants to grow that wants to be better that wants to stretch yourself wants to push yourself because that's what he's on and if you meet a quote-unquote husband and he's not growing and he's not trying to be better and you are everything he wants but you want more out of life and you want to grow and push yourself and he's not trying to grow and push himself then guess what you have to be willing to walk away you got to be willing to say listen i gotta have something to work with your man shouldn't be a build-a-bear a builder man a project that's not what you're looking for no he's not gonna be perfect i need to get back to my old chat with his child i've been in this chat too long i've been in the chat too i've been in chat three hours let me check out my buddha yeah i gotta get going i did our call i called two hours then i'm shooting this video because tomorrow i'm going from game to game now and this one thing all right this one thing about me i'm gonna have to stop showing my life because it's a lot of people just be bitter and upset but me i believe in living you hear me tomorrow i'm going to a bowl game football game i'm leaving that game to me and my going to the basketball game i believe in living you mean we get one chance we get one chance on this world i'm not going to live in fear i'm not going to live in scarcity i believe in living yeah i mean so when you see me going here now don't get upset and jealous with me you know get inspired and get out the house go do your walk around the park you know we'd be safe we'd be socially distant but we live because i believe in living you only live once and you sitting there shut up in the house you sitting in the house and you don't want to get out the house and go nowhere and do nothing and y'all you living in fear listen you're going to be mad watching me cause i'm feeling little and don't put your fear on me don't put your fear on me don't be no what about you know this i'll talk about the blood of jesus and lived his life that he then gave me and make the most of it because the marine promise you mean so live your life now try to shoot this video you know this friday night so you'll see this on saturday but i just don't be running around all day but i want you to understand you know he is going to come but what you have to realize is you have to get prepared you know you got to do what you got to do and if you don't know what to do if you had your wits in he like what do i got to do understand and he said man i did everything man i'm everything i i did this i'm dead i don't know why i can't trap my husband listen that answer right there is going it's going to hurt that answer is going to hurt but it literally could be something like listen you dress like a stripper on her break when you need to dress like a chic and modern pr lady look at the pr ladies outfits and look at the strippers outfits on her break and compare the two you need to go from strip on a break to pr that might what i know fashion i love my best i'm not gonna change the way i do okay where you gonna remain single like you've been single what oh and the answer might be okay listen have you seen the movie the help okay where the ladies was house maze okay i want you to look at their hairstyle in the help the maids you wearing the same hairstyle that viola davis had on in the movie it's 20 21 the hairstyle gonna have to go we have to do something different with the hair so every man walking right past you because you looking smart use this scroll uses important and he keep going because he like whoa i i want to be able to dress up and go to the ball go to the gala the gala however you pronounce it the non-profit organization fundraiser with a little bit of pizzazz on the woman i want to turn a couple heads but she got on the house worker hairstyle from the 50s ain't gonna do that because i don't want to argue with her i don't try to change i don't want to walk around neck tire because she holding up that wig that i don't convince her to get on she's scratching tracks all day because she is not used to wearing her hair like that and i don't want to have to try to change her so imma just keep going about my business it might be something like that it might be like listen i know you went through some tough times in your life i know stuff was hard and in those moments you start to emotionally eat and you built the relationship with food but the relationship that you built with food is an unhealthy relationship so that unhealthy relationship with food is showing up in your body so it's sending a message that you don't love yourself and that you're wallowing in your trauma or your pain of your past and you will be a project and he is not fit or ready to train you in that area so he keeps going by this business and then the man who do who does come into your life he sees that recognizes it ignores it but it's because he wants your money your access your privilege your position your comfort because he's not on your level financially so he wants you for that or you are a fetish you know he has a vision of being with a woman a fetish for a woman who has a unhealthy emotional relationship with food and notice i'm not using derogatory terms or anything like that and saying all that because i'm saying this from love that a lot of times it's just a little tweak it's just a little tweak and then some of y'all some women it is you s you too desperate for a husband so you walk around you look like this that's how you look you walking around and you walking with a straight face but you so ready for a husband you don't watch everybody else wedding proposal you go on youtube you watch proposals all day you watch the bachelor in the bachelorette on repeat you on everybody comments who get married you'd have been the bridesmaid 28 times you so ready for a husband that when he see you although you making a face like this this one [Music] i just happen to have a gatorade this is not a prop i did not have this for the video did not plan to use it so i want y'all to understand i i literally dropped my gatorade not long ago and that's how you look to him and you don't even realize that's how he see you like the alien on ghostbusters you know he sees something totally different and you don't realize your mindset you so desperate and ready and thirsty for a man instead of being completely focused on yourself and your grind and your business your career whatever it is your your corporate career your entrepreneurial career whatever it is instead of being completely wrapped up in that and getting better and growing as a person in the 3b brain brain body you so desperate for a husband he could see it on you from a mile away so a lot of time it's just a it's one tweak it's it's mental it's emotional it's spiritual it's physical and sometimes it's you know when i say physical i mean superficial sometimes just understanding perception just understanding perception like if i if i walked around with my six goal teeth that i used to have and i'm dead [Music] nah if i kept that same energy that and it just means i don't understand perception so it's like i'm just stuck in my hood i'm stuck in my ways of being with the grown boys being with you know my gang gang and i'm just stuck in that and i just know one way to communicate and then i'm wondering why can't i get married i ain't got me no little shout out man i want no bad you don't have it come on nobody won't be like why every woman i'll be dating she'd be like you cool but i gotta go a separate way like what's up shorter like what wrong come here you see what i'm saying so sometimes it's just the same way a man have to adapt and change and grow and learn a woman had to do the same thing you just may have to learn okay okay just shift it this way like try this type of dress this type of outfits just do a little bit with this hairstyle like okay do a little bit more over here you know with your health health and wellness you know just all right let's just focus there and and master that and then here he come he he'll come to man because you're the master jew you don't work on you so understand it it's painful it is painful when you hear we attract what we are but it's true it's true i hate to say that and and this where a lot of people get hung up well i only only uh walk up to me i'm not my thug so how i'm attracted that only grown boys only sorry man do that i mean to him you look like his reflection because he sees what you can't see he reading you totally different but you've never taken the time to have a session with a man who gonna be honest with you who was married and faithful and not trying to sleep with you and going to give you honest feedback from the male perspective because you telling yourself i don't care about what a man got to say but then at the same time you say i want a husband if you want a husband then you you got to care about what a man thinks i ain't gonna do all that okay you're not gonna have a husband just get on my nerves so you mean to tell me you gotta do all of that but man guess what he got to do all of that for you he got to do all of that he has to work on himself too do you just want a man come up to you looking all one kind of way he way to the extreme in one way or the other like you don't want no man who coming to you with no pants pulled up to his chest with a tight belt and a pants bunched up like this and he got a belt buckle right here and he got the glasses looking like this glass it looked like this and toothpick in his mouth in a computer bag and you can be like this i understand you smart like i understand you love that computer i understand you love to work on that computer but can you have a little bit of swagger like can we pull the pants height and pan down just a couple of notches you said i'm saying so it's the same it go both way you don't want no man coming you look like he just had you know he all he do is eat thanksgiving dinner every day you don't want no man come to you like that so you have to make sure you don't look like all you doing eat thanksgiving dinner and listen okay yeah you know the love of the lord fatness the bones but listen you still got to get to your comfortable space where you good at that that's not a certain weight it ain't saying everyone got to be you know 175 or under that might not be for your body your white yo your weight might be another number on the scale but it fit on you differently so ain't about somebody else it's about you it's like are you eating healthy are you working out are you taking care of your body in every aspect mind body spirit are you keeping your legs closed are you feeding yourself right eating right you're living right he's getting enough sleep are you taking care of yourself if you're taking care of yourself and that can be vouched for by a life coach health and wellness coach personal trainer they can say okay yeah the regimen you own is a-okay if that's the case then you're in a good space if that's the case then you know what you're supposed to do that's because you're good if that's the case then it's just a matter of time then it come down to god's timing and that's when you need to be sensitive to the spirit and you have to have a spiritual discernment to where you could hear okay lord you have not set my husband so what else do i need to activate in order to be in season in preparation uh and now listen now listen okay listen now i got to do this over on like this right here because if this was a live seminar and i'm stepping on your toes you end up squirming you ready to get up the devil get into you get your purse you know what i'm like this man i'm showing this crap i'm not gonna be give me the purse okay okay you just please get off my scrap you sitting on the scrap and you getting up all loud just so everybody could see you leaving because i'm a male children it's not now i'm a male shoulder it's not superficial nom nom now i'm a double standard now i'm a charlatan now i'm just all of that that's the honest reason why you know men and women can't be honest with each other because we're so sensitive we're so sensitive and i'm just here to tell i could be i'm married i'm married okay so i'm just trying to help and well and it's hard to let you know that listen it's just probably one thing now one thing probably something you have not considered or that one thing is you haven't been willing to sacrifice to do it it's just and so many women come to me and i'm told so many women listen it's one thing and one thing only your fashion [Music] that's it that's the only thing listen talk to my wife i'll set up a session with with you and my wife y'all get on the computer let her see your body type and let her get you some outfit suggestions for your body type ain't now a woman but that session with hawaii and i'm and my wife don't do coaching anyway she don't want to coach she ain't got she ain't got time still she say and so i'm like okay wow you're more busy than me all right i'll hit you so you want me to coach you don't want to go all right but no she don't she don't do no coaching but and i could do it cause i see her now yeah my wife can afford the designer now and so a lot of people despise alex who had labels but no if you pay attention to how she put outfits together it actually you send different messages cool comfortable you know classy cute sexy whatever she got different styles and it's perfect i absolutely love it and i just know as a man me and gonna respect a woman who can look fly but also look sophisticated and you know classy and and on trend you know up to date and so i know what it looked like but a lot of women don't want to hear that but yet trying to attract the man but don't care about what a man think or or feel and because it it's male chauvinist i guess you know what have you but um or yeah that's the double standard but i'm here to tell you you're husband on the way you just got to be willing to make that to make that one change or it might not be a change it could be about what you need to activate so if you got this far hey god bless you you came you listen i know it's painful i know it's hard you know hopefully ain't step on your toes if i did you know activate do what you know you need to do to get in position if you really ready for a relationship become what you want to attract become what you want you want an ambitious man be ambitious if you want an ambitious and healthy and fit man then be ambitious healthy and fit if you want a spiritually sound man who is obedient to the spirit then be obedient to the spirit and if you want a man who opened the feedback and is open-minded and can listen and communicate be that person you can't be getting angry and shutting down when somebody give you a little bit of advice but then you want a man that's going to be open and communicative this doesn't go together because as soon as y'all have a date he gonna realize that you sensitive and that you don't like to hear no truth directly your way but you want to give out all the truth you said i mean become what you want to attract and then get some feedback from a professional on if you are portraying yourself how you want to be perceived and if not what tweaks need to be made because perception is reality so what other people think does matter like if i didn't care about how you think about how you feel then you wouldn't be here watching my videos so i have to be sensitive and if i just came on here and just flossing every day and just hey look at it look at this just showing off just putting you down making you feel less than hey i got more money than you ain't on my level hey get like me i'm throwing money like if i ain't care how you feel and i just was doing that would you keep showing up if i'm demoralizing you and i'm making you feel you know like you less than or like i'm better than you or like i'm so blessed and you not blessed you know instead of trying to motivate you and inspire you and give you some insight that maybe others won't tell you you know would you be here i gotta care about how you think your opinion matter if i want you to be here now if your opinion just ridiculous and i know that i'm doing right and i'm you know in a good space then that don't matter and that's what i mean the same thing for you if you know you doing right if you know you ready and you prepare then ain't no change need to be made it's just about god's timing at that point and that's when you got to consult god to see okay what is it that i need to do or that or that or give me the patience that i need for my season you know where am i at what is going on give me that wisdom knowledge understanding patience poise what have you and so it may not be something drastic or even small that you need to do it could simply be timing it could simply be just the season of your life that you're in so hey this is tony gaskin god bless you you just have a voice memo pop up on my computer here somebody sent me a message i'm gonna see what this is talking about at midnight hey god bless you and um we'll talk and and uh oh let me know okay it's midnight and you see my wife let me she would let me work you know why we've been gone uh on a little vacation come to the new year i took that break so what my wife she realizes is seasons it's time where i with family like tomorrow we going we're doing games and we're gonna have a good time so i'm doing this video tonight and i just had to do my two hour group coaching call and so i be with family all day tomorrow you see what i mean is what i want you to understand about when i'm doing this it's still a balance i don't work for youtube you two work for me i still have family time and i have work time and my wife and my kids understand that when it's daytime it's daytime when it's work time it's work time so i want y'all to understand don't ever feel like oh tony giving us so much time because what i'm giving you an hour a day if that you get out it's 23 more hours so don't ever assume that just because you seeing a video from me every day that i ain't living what i'm preaching i ain't got no family life because if you want to see me with my family now just go watch my wife's stories follow her on instagram you see the video follow him on instagram at sheree gaskins and uh so you see the other half you know see see the other half of me because i'm not a vlogger so i'll be showing everything but you'll get to see the other side of my life through her follow on on instagram and sheree gaston hey god bless you we'll talk soon

Channel: Tony Gaskins

Views: 133,179

Rating: 4.9335747 out of 5

Keywords:

Id: moEnEn46chk

Length: 57min 31sec (3451 seconds)

Published: Sat Jan 02 2021