The man you’ll meet!

hey Tony Gaskins here what the popin I thank you all so much for all the anniversary love thank you for to the person who sent me a cash out god bless you I really appreciate it it just goes without saying it's been amazing to have your support but what to answer this question it kind of talked to this remember I talked about right now in the situation we're in things have changed you know YouTube so you have to be careful with certain words because they don't have the humans coming into the office to be able to review things so bear with me on this but I want I want to help you understand 95% of my viewers are women so that's why most of my questions come from women I really don't receive questions from me through email or DM or what have you and this question I keep saying it's kind of like the man you'll meet what can you expect and women always say to me well Tony there's no man that's like you and I need you to understand that I wasn't like me like when my wife met me it was some work that had to be done that's that's why this book a woman's influence is coming out April 7th because it was some work that has to be done I want you to understand and it's all about mindset it's all about how you view the world some of you you can't be bothered you know some some women oh I just don't know miss me gone you need help I ain't got somebody you can't be bothered and if that's your lighting like that's where you are in life okay cool I get it you know you got a lot going on cool others other women will say hey I understand nobody's perfect I'm not perfect as long as he willing to work he gonna have to help me I'm gonna have to help him and if you're in that space then you're ready to receive your husband you ready to meet your husband understanding that no human is perfect you know what my wife she had to help me with my temperament you know I played football from the age of seven to the age of 21 so that's including three seasons in college and it's a very serious game you use a very intense game and you talk to seek and destroy and that's what we was out there doing and it became hard to turn that off you noticed this just like I played running back so you get you know 260 pounds guys who just as fast as you exploding into the side of your temple and imagine what that does to your brain I literally was a different person it changed me people don't talk about this and doctors might even say it ain't real but I lived it I know it's real my whole personality changed because of just what's happening so it was hard sometimes to turn that off in real life and I still battle with it today that's why I don't you know keep this hell on me cuz I'd be doing life you know is that my house in case you want to come in my house you know and other than that I keep a security guard just because I know my mind yeah I feel like I'm still healing so my wife met me my temperament was was a lot off you know and she had to let me know she had to teach me she had to showed me listen no no that's that's what you did with your ex-girlfriend when you when you here and don't yell at me oh and if I want to yell she going about her business so that let me that taught me how to speak to her the other thing is when she stopped me from doing that that's a like initial communication so if I said if I can't raise my voice at this one man I definitely can't curse at if I can't raise my voice and can't curse let me see if I could get away with coming in late hey I be I be back by midnight you know stepping out with the boys going on you know to the club or whatever I caramelized ooh I'll be back by midnight and came in by 5:00 in the morning three four five and one I can't remember and knocking on the door no answer no no no Elsa had to go back to my apartment and next day she let me know you know you said he's gonna be there by midnight I went to sleep and you ain't getting in after midnight you told me you're gonna be there by midnight and I was like wow so this one me he'll play no games got to keep my word you know most women get on up you know come on open the door and go get in the bed he get right on in the bed and he might get into bed and go to what you get over you know that's how a lot of women would do six out of ten women respond like that but I had one of the women that you say you're gonna be here be yeah if you give me your word keep your word so now here I was right out the gate when I started questioning her a lot well you at what you doing who you with what you got on Yeah right Yeah right I bet similar pitch Yeah right what's that noise I hear in the background you know a lot of guys act like that when I started doing like that huh phone hang up and then I reach her later it's all sorry I lost signal no you didn't you hung up the phone no I did not I lost signal she hung got a fine and then after a few months of that she said I think we need a break because I was trying to be everything that I had been in my last relationship which was two years of toxicity but when I came to my woman she just shut down everything just what I need you to understand is it's a teaching in behavioral science for those of y'all in behavioral science psychology class or whatever maybe you didn't heard about this but it's a teaching and behavioral science that I learned working in group home when somebody is attention seeking or the exhibiting maladaptive be and how you deal with that me and my wife we took that and we implemented that in our relationship because although we was dealing with individuals who had mild retardation it still working real life and one of those things is two different sides to it one is to stop to redirect and to reinforce to stop me if the person is doing something to harm you or harm themselves you stop that behavior if they're doing something that it's not harming you were harming themselves but it's just attention seeking like you're doing to me you ignore redirect reinforce so with the clients it was like they making all kind of noise hey did you see um sunsets got traded you just redirected their attention oh yeah I saw you got treated man man I'm so happy we got Tom Brady and then you reinforce that conversation yeah man you ought to say your money so you go to the game now this one you dealing with the the people we were working with but in a real relationship the way my wife would do that is I would get a lot of tools only know what I got out to about it a condition came on too fast like I didn't even know what I was upset by could just been just my brain wiring from from autumn concussions I don't know but I just get a look at Atul and Jeff and I want me some attention I'm sitting like that cuz I want me some attention I want her to say what's wrong with you because of you and she just walked right on past me walked right on the path I'm just seeing a walk and I'm boiling I seen him I'm say not to me what she doing it nor she cuz I ain't harm her home myself so ignore then the redirection Hey Baby you want something eat I'm over there starving yeah what she was thinking about making not just format not just format for we don't know why just want some attention like a grown boy and what you think about making I don't know what you don't you feel like making that bacon egg sandwich yeah I could do that all right thank you she redirected my attention you want some meat or you want me to put the game on or what have you when I respond to that just jump right into the conversation just jump right into that now so you redirect now you just reinforce see that's the thing there's a lot of times we get so caught up and I had to teach my wife I had to teach my wife I had to say like listen cuz she could do it right sometimes what you him you're not a machine and then sometimes I could be being Petty and she'd give in to it and I may say something so like she may say oh I need to go to target the do this pickup that I place the order online he do the pickup Oh Lord here we go so where I got to drive to now well tired of driving you and then she'd be like okay fine fine I'll go I'll try this okay like I didn't ask you and but really I just were talking like it just was I just was joking it was like but I did it with a serious face and she'll take it serious on my babe you you know you came listen to me like you can't take me serious like when I give you a little push back I'm just talking that's just me lie so I had to remind her like don't be sensitive don't don't be like a leaf in the wind just being blown to enfold like stay you stand your ground all the time know what you want don't be afraid to ask me for it tell me what you want tell me what you need from me baby can you drive me to target can you ride with me to target just tell me what you want I'm yours you own me my body belong to you and what the Bible say you belong to me we won so you can't come in and be scared just say what you feel to ask for what you need your wish is my command i'ma give you a little push back just try to convince myself that I ain't sayin but I'm gonna do whatever you need me to do whatever you want and so I had let her know that and she just her personality is just not the one to ask you for something but you gotta be able to ask and I just talkin my sister the same thing she tryin to get a new place and they read it they waiting on the pavement a day but she get paid tomorrow so she'll be flushed with cash tomorrow and lady sent her out today and I say tell the lady it's the last day of mine you run a group home you work for APD agents a person with disability I got a lot goin on you'll get it back to her within 24 hours that's normal business oh I don't want to ask a favor of somebody I'm doing okay you asking no favor you did business you tell a person what you need to do and that's how life have to be and see we go in and we go on this stuff tiptoeing women always coming and asking me how should I tell a man what do you mean how should you tell them just tell them the longer you ain't yelling and cursing well what is he gonna get offended it you could inhale and he get offense why you breathe what you were just breathing you had like you gotta breathe and you like huh [Music] so you want me to not breathe da that's what Nemo doing in the ocean you know here you do with anything and you're like but you can't worry about a person feelings as long as you've been responsible and respectable and you come in with pure energy how they take it that's on me and that's what I need you to understand when you meet a man you never wouldn't be so quick to be in my comment oh oh I tell you what um don't get a man who is this that in the third oh no what you talking about and listen to me you never going to meet a man I'm a man so I meet men in a raw form if you a woman listening to this you meet men representative you meet his representative I meet some men representative too if they want to do business with me you know get down with the crew they want to make moves I meet they representative too but I'm a man gang recognize gangs I read right through it on my name like a man man what you are that you doing what you doing man and so I could read right through it and I'm trying to get down to the genuineness and so you know some of my mentees they'll tell you like a you want to come in here acting like you want to serve Tony and you want to carry bags an open door talking to let you carry bags and open doors you're acting like you want dry 7-10 I'll let you drive 17 hours so that if you faking you won't get exposed you think I'm saying and you can't fake for too long so when that energy shift up no I see the real you you Joe we're trying to get down you said I'm saying and so that's what you have to realize and anything especially in a relationship you mean the man representative but this is what I need you to understand as I'm man you will never meet a ready-made man you will never you've never gone meet a man that's perfect all the way around he might have perfect ambition legal ambition or he might be perfect in Romanticism but he's not going to be perfect all the way around he gonna have some pieces and he gonna be missing some pieces and this where it's gonna come from and that's what we had to realize I tell man you have to help heal a woman's heart before you can have her heart if you want a woman to give you her heart you gotta help heal her heart because she's not coming to you ready made perfect and whole she's gonna have daddy wounds or she's gonna have ex-boyfriend ex-husband was what she's gonna have societal rooms she coming with something she don't like her body type she don't like her skin complexion she don't like her oil in her skin she don't like a pH balance she don't like her hair her natural hair she don't like a teef she don't like a lips he don't like her no she coming with something that's gonna be an insecurity and you gotta be able to say oh you gotta be able to speak and I saw the shift happened in my wife she came with insecurities but I just spoke so much life into and just made her feel so good made her feel so sexy and beautiful she started walking different it was a few times I said to myself Oh Tony you don't blow the head off too much wow what a now she was working she was trying to work on that yeah but you're gonna blow the head on so much you know stop working yeah a few times I had a feeling so comfortable you know we put that baby weight on I had a feeling so comfortable see 12 plus 8 you made me peanut butter and jelly you know okay yeah yeah and I still do it and truthful on care body to flower I really don't but I just I saw how before she was so conscious but then after I kill reinforcing his speaking love and just let her know I love you as you is that consciousness started to go away like she started she wasn't as self-conscious she was more confident and that's what I mean by healing a heart I saw where because her parents relationship didn't work out and she wasn't raised in the house with her father I saw some boys there and it affected our relationship in the beginning but when I took in I stepped up as a man and I loved her and I feel those voice to where she didn't need her father's affirmation his his love blessing and affirmation became a plus but not a priority not a necessity it became okay if he loved me and he showed love cool but if he don't cool because I took and stepped in and loved her in a complete way the same thing has to happen the other way around with a woman but with a woman instead of you is more so stopping a man see a woman's love for a man is different then a man's love should be for a woman and that's why women get on my nerves always talking about it goes both ways or that's vice versa and then some grown boys always talking about oh they go both ways everything don't go both ways everything don't go both ways cuz we got different roles there's no gender role but we love differently so see a man's love is sacrificial a man's love is sacrificial now a woman yes she may submit but she's submitting to a man who has sacrificed his entire being ego in life so her love is really reciprocal even though it is saying wives submit unto your husbands but it's saying husbands love your wife as Christ loved the church this Ephesians 5 so the way Christ loved the church even if you're not Christian let me help you to the game Christ died on the cross he was crucified for his people the ones who believe in the lifestyle and the God that he came to represent to say this is the god of mankind worship and serve this God and and because you have offended this God instead of you paying the price we already flooded the earth instead of you paying the price we already burnt down Sodom and Gomorrah we can't keep doing this so what I'm coming to do I'm his son we want father-son in the holy spirit but I'm coming to give my life in place of yours so when you draw the parallel and you say okay a husband it's supposed to have a sacrificial love then a woman has this submissive love which that might not even be a word but we just made her worse of Missal I have this submissive love but it is reciprocal you hear what I'm saying okay vocabulary so understand what I'm trying to help you understand is that a woman you can't come in and have this man who broke busted and disgusted he got all these voids all these insecurities and you just and you just wanna Gil Gil Gil give give no because now you reinforcing his behavior so what you have to do with a man the way a man learn is by being told and what I mean by being told I'm not saying being raised I'm not saying being trained I'm saying that when he does something that is a behavior that you don't want to see happen for the rest of your life you have to check that behavior in that moment in that day you check that behavior and you have to do this over and over and what this man is learning he's learning how not to allow his past issues to surface in negative ways so he's learning although my father yelled at me I can't yell at her although I suffer from abandonment issues and people lying to me and people being untrustworthy I can't be a liar and untrustworthy with her although all I saw was teachers and players and nobody in a monogamous relationship and that's all I know I can't be unfaithful to her because she's not going to talk and a man can and will adapt to every behavior that you check when do you check it you redirect it to what you need hey don't yell at me you stopping it because that could be harmful to your relationship it could incite some things to get out of hand okay so a mmm don't raise your voice at me see something see 70% of communication is nonverbal so if he wanna yell instead of you just getting back to stop him cuz that might end make him go louder you you got this one might be at me physically she put a hand up so that kind of caught yeah that kind of caught me off-guard 70% of communication is nonverbal so that caught me I was like then she said don't talk to me like that oh wow okay [Music] never been told that before okay all right well how would you like me to talk to you talk to me like an adult with some respect and she had to say all that but I'm just kind of spelling it out but see what happens is a man will come and he'll exhibit his negative behavior and the woman think that she had to match him at his level of immaturity or stupidity or irresponsibility and then now they just start going at it now they're just going in they just butt hit button hit button he is and now the relationship implodes and then they Harlan loves pain marriage is hard all it is but didn't learn the rules of engagement didn't learn how you interact with somebody and its goals this particularly here stopping the the behavior you don't want to see repeated that goes both ways I had to check my wife on some stuff she had to check me on some stuff and then guess what a human mind can learn and adapt I remember working a group on the behavior scientists came to me she said Tony the definition of retardation is not being able to fully comprehend and adapt so unless you wit somebody whose mind can't fully comprehend and adapt you shouldn't have to keep going through the same behaviors over and over and over when you won't chance number three four five six you wasting your time you you are dating someone or married to someone who is relationally is what I call it that's my term not so you hit ask some well I just I made that up in in this head of coaching from behavioral science to this he had took my experience miss that's what I call a person who is relationally meaning that they cannot adapt they cannot hear what you need comprehend and give you what you need but see this a thing they may not literally be that they choose that because they don't believe that you strong enough to walk away on the other side of that is if you're strong enough to walk away they don't care if you walk away but see here's the thing most men most men and when I say most men man when I say most men I'm talking 9 out of 10 I'm talking 8 and a half out of 10 most men will make a woman leave them before he changes so that's why you got to leave home soon don't wait to five years to leave you didn't lay the groundwork of the behavior for way too long my wife left me in the first two to three months of us meeting and starting dating she sent a message quick and when she left she did not leave saying I'm coming back she did not leave and then write me a week later two weeks later a month later when she left I didn't hear anything from her until I reached out to her six months later for a friend who want to connect with her roommate my ego wouldn't even let me reach out to her and we both went back to our old mess she went back to hers and left it I went back to mine and stayed until me and my wife got back in touch then I let my old mess go and came back in full fledge with my wife but now I knew better now I knew you got a real one she gonna put up with no mess and see this what I need you to understand you gotta be ready to go through some tests with enthusiasm knowing that is coming you also have to be ready and willing to leave to turn your back on the man walk away and never look back unless he runs you down catches up to you gets in front of you you know how in the movie where he running he catch him and he get in front of and then he backpedaling talking to a listen listen if let me talk to you that's what he got to do you know figuratively figuratively metaphorically or literally whichever one it got to be okay but that's what he got to do and then when he does dad you like okay well look what what ended us last time all that got to be out the window what have you done to change like how is this time gonna be any different than the last time like what have you done how have you grown who you listening to who you're talking to what books have you read seminars have you gone to okay now you get to hear and see what are you talking about and this what you have to understand the man you meet you're gonna have an area and it's gonna happen it's gonna deal with something with this parent so what's gonna deal with something with an ex what's gonna deal something with you know in school with his peers or it may deal with something buyout biological a body part you know being look less than average it's gonna come from somewhere and what you have to do is use discernment in your conversations in your interactions to see if you can pinpoint where his voice exists why does he have these voids in his heart where is it coming from and this is what every woman has to be but doesn't want to be let it asked me last night and that's a therapist okay you got to be technical licensed but what I mean by that is you may opt to do coaching get coaching or therapy just so you learn how that professional speaks to somebody and and I'm not saying baby a man I'm not saying raise a man what I'm saying if you want a man the woman is the activator for the man man you remember when you used to get the S Curl I just get an S Curl you put the Box in your head not you put the cream in your head you let it sit down then you wash it out the next morning you wake up looking like a baby chick but what you got to do is get that bottle shake it up that's the activator rub your hand in there then boom you get to shine you get your curl you could pat down curl getting curls just how you like boom now you got your s curl that activator that's what a woman is for a man that's why God made Eve God say okay I got him I don't put the relax in the paint activated heat this man need to activate home so that's what I want you to understand and 90 not touching that I know y'all sitting up what's on you rubbing in nineteen your I know I'm helping and good cover by the blood of the Lamb you hit me and so this is what you got to understand you're the activator I'm not a enrolled you wanna play but that's just what it is and the man is gonna learn from your heart he gonna learn that you remember the saying tough but fair that's what he gonna see Wow I just checked I just changed in the vehicle right and I real cool went through the deal buh buh-buh-buh hey y'all just get me in there man just do what do whatever got my wife you know a new vehicle fire anniversary and I had to deal you know go tough they had calling a lot of favors you know nummy make deal have boom big deal and I wouldn't know but I just went through the paperwork man hey don't worry about it man hey I'm covered everything will be all right like I know I'm giving y'all the good a great deal in here the haggling all this man but but her old vehicle that I turned in had some wheels on it that I wanted all for them they trying to tell me oh well no we better take them off that day well no if we could do it all week I wrote my sales person back I say listen I say hey bro that's not an option I'm coming up there right now take my wheels off my truck put it on it on this other one thank you he wrote me back oh okay all right I have everything I have everything I'm set up for you he just told me he don't know they gonna be able take care of me all week he was trying to stalk me out cuz they want to keep him wheels on a car traded in that's what I mean by tough but fair that's how you got to be you you you your energy have to be so loving and so kind but when this bar business when you need some respect hey listen here don't ever talk to me like that again he talk to you like that again that that mean they got was LeBron picking up that bag picking up that person walking off the stage that's how you got to be and just like that out of here he gonna be blow he's gonna sit because you might be the first woman that he called a bluff and found out you weren't bluffing now he wrings shopping cuz this what I need in my life I need a woman that's gonna hold me accountable I need a woman that's gonna push me into greatness that's not gonna let me be average cuz he listened it's human nature to be average that's why you on a dead-end job that why you scared to write your book cause you keep asking yourself Who am I who gonna read my book Who am I Who am I ain't got no college degree ain't got no mentor you didn't meet me from a celebrity or celebrity and say hey coming on listen to everything he got to say no I put my cellphone with the help of God I put my cellphone you said I'm saying so it's human nature to be average it's human nature to sell so you're gonna sit down you're gonna settle and that's what a man used to but when he come with all his mess and you check it at the door there's a Playboy we're gonna unpack their baggage we'll have to unpack this baggage in order for us to do it we got to do you're gonna have the healing grow cuz all that right here all that energy that's not coming in here and you ain't got to say it like I'm saying it my wife and you really say is she it really was her actions she was she wasn't doing no captain no no she never once in 13 years of marriage my wife has never yelled at me my wife has never cursed at me but she let me know exactly what she needed in room tall in wrong time don't yell don't talk to me like that and if you say you're gonna be here at 12:00 be here at 12:00 but don't come at all or whatever time it is 6 p.m. 7 p.m. 8 p.m. I just learned that early on when I was 21 and we still was hanging out with the boys and all that that's why I use 12:00 midnight as an example but if you get off a fire it Ivan drove that same way it takes 30 minutes to be home I spec you to be here 5:30 if you hear fire earth and you get off at 5:00 I need a police report or the wreck that you got in otherwise keep it moving and you've got to be that real - tree that's what get to respect that's what get the respect on play with nothing and nobody by minds I'm the nicest guy you ever wanna meet the nicest guy you ever wanted me but let me feel like you're trying to take advantage are you trying to play me and you're gonna see a whole nother side real quick and I and I ain't gonna raise my voice with you talk to you just like this what do you think I am booboo the fool you thought I was born yesterday let me tell you what's about to happen right now that's what you bout to do oh we're gonna have some issues that hi honey business when you're trying to play me and that's how you gotta go into a relationship and that's how me and my wife that's how we got here 13 years of healthy marriage being real what you need what you expect and we ask him and expect being wit respect ain't no domineering ain't no controlling ain't no yelling ain't no fuss fight argue it's just real raw relatable but communication so understand is you really gonna have to have the ability of a therapist or life coach because you gotta be able to call people on a jump but then at the same time speed life that's what you're gonna have to be able to do because if a man brain you jump and you get junkie with him it's gonna fail you cannot stoop to his level of brokenness you got to keep your level of wholeness let him know you refuse to come down to his level and if he wants to be in your life he has to elevate and what he's gonna be so used to is women coming down to his level that to meet a woman who is confidently calm and strong not a woman who got the huff and puff and blow the whole house down like the big bad wolf but a woman who is confident calm and strong it actually calms him and make him stronger my wife teach me everyday she teach me every day without even knowing it I'm gonna give you a real-life example we went to chick-fil-a today and went to drive to cut some takeout you can't go in and this was after we'd gone to the car place getting them getting will switch and why they were switching will we win the chick-fil-a in her new video and the chick-fil-a lady at the Wonder was a real pretty lady real pretty lady okay so when I looked at her I noticed she pretty my wife sitting over there my wife looked over there noticed she was pretty and I could see my wife she watching the interaction because sometimes the people had wonders like the Gila I especially if you and some you riding it so nice and they came all the way see and they don't know if my wives is people who have stopped us in the mall and we was day and early on not as much now but still sometimes now I remember the lady stopped us and pulled my wife over to the side and said um don't you think he's a little old for you she thought my wife was 16 so sometimes the people at the woman that the one that may think that's my daughter you know sister whatever they don't know what's going on and I'm pulling up on something okay that might be one of they dream calls and so my wife she she kind of looked over them and I noticed I kind of felt me right but so I said oh yeah and let me have a ketchup please I said well how much it cost and and she said the price I couldn't hear she was talking low kind of mumbling and I said how much and she said it again no okay oh can I pay with out she was like yeah okay and then and I said oh okay you're my ketchup as well like oh yeah okay and so look interaction all right and she she's looking at me like she looking nervous and I could tell she a pretty lady now I thought to myself we got our food we drove over to a parking lot parking lot completely in because can't nobody going stores and we bite then we we eat all of but I'm eating my little breath my white hat perfect and I'm thinking to myself I say what if we pull it up to a drive-thru and then man that is one look like somebody that women say is very attractive cuz I know I don't know what a tractor man is I know what other ills I don't know what a good-looking man I just could go by if it's a celebrity man and women say oh and I just take notice of his feature so I said what if this like this this young lady the one that she probably will resemble like a young Jada Pinkett Smith when she had the long box braids right so not an unattractive woman and I said so what did this man was it is one a version of attractive man and it kind of flushed up my wife or something what would I say I'd be over there when we drop you would looking kind of hard when you look like look like you trying to smile to me you'll I have a little smile on your face and like what what are you talking about what I seen it I seen it you think I'm dumb you think I'm dawn you wish I won't need him in the car right now would you so I'm going through my head everything my insecurities would have been saying you know what my wife ain't say a single word like a lot of wouldn't be like oh you look girlfriend huh I know she was cute that's your type ain't it that's your time I know you're tight you you forget you told me you're tight on our first date I remember you're tight and that was you're tight and I watch the way you look at a lot of women to do like that a lot of men to do that that's very normal I understand what I'm telling you that normal to be insecure I'm not saying it's a good thing I'm saying that's what a lot of people are and so I'm saying no and I'm checking my insecurities cuz I still battle with a 13-day 13 years in a marriage but my wife teach me without even teaching me she say a word by that woman didn't say oh they look like you're tight look like a little smirk but like you felt a little jitter down your spine she could have said all of that and I and I would have had none what'd you talk about oh good great big man get out of hell man or I could have flipped it if I was guilty of it if I'm not guilty that's how I respond if I was guilty of it what oh my god maybe you're so insecure you see the post on me yes I didn't say insecurity and not attractive man get on my nerve if a man guilty that's how you gonna respond if he's not guilty gonna laugh y'all even if he was like look guilty but it didn't really mean that he don't laugh y'all but my wife teach me how to be calm how to be confident how to be respectful but at the same time how to be real and that's what I want you to understand if you a woman watching this is that it is unfair it is unfair listen to what I'm telling you now listen to what I'm telling you hear me out now listen what I'm telling you yes it may feel unfair because you say why do I have to be have to have a heart of a therapist or life coach why can't he have it why do I gotta learn how to talk to a man why do I gotta learn how to check a man on his nonsense I shouldn't have to do all that oh I shall have to do all that for no man he need to come ready and I sense a single word him but it's like when has that ever been your case in life when have that ever happened for you in life never and that's why it ain't never happened because it's never going to happen every man you meet gonna need some work and you're gonna need to know how to work it like Missy Elliott's on say better working you you gonna need to know so this what I need you to understand is that what I'm saying is look what God did look what God did he did not create us the same did not create us equal and I had to talk about that but I said lo I ain't mad it ain't mad at slow going by to peer dude you got dude Lord hey do you play when I'm weirded lord know you gave me lord I thank you for the easy life you gave me well look what he did he told the one man to carry the future of the world in her stomach for 10 months he show her a lot of people said nah hey is Tim he chose the one man cuz you gotta remember forty weeks full of turn four times 40 divided by four four months in is ten okay nine man it's actually opposed to be ten okay cut the first fold inna happen you take you take the test that fold okay some of y'all knew that the educate something about your own body so he chose the woman to carry then chose the woman to feed just what this will pectoral it don't produce nothing I used to hold my song he go ahead and go buddy even getting another L you wanna wrong one huh get back to your mama he told the woman to carry he told a woman to feed a woman's life expectancy is longer a woman's threshold for pain is greater a man get a cold and in the bed acting like he got hit by a Mack truck a woman they say giving birth is the equivalent of 20 bones being broken at once that's why I try to tell man man you got to expect that you got to respect the creation I bought my wife a vehicle yesterday and the finance guy we was in there he had me sign on the papers at the speed of light and go through now number with me cuz I told my anniversary I need to get back home cuz we gonna have us a takeout dinner and so just let me sign what I don't know and so I told that man I said listen to me everything in my life changed when I started treating my wife like a queen he just got married in October I'll say everything in my life changed because you got to understand there's a universal law so um man he is a man has to respect the creation of a woman but this what a woman has to do a woman got to realize that you fearfully and wonderfully made you gotta realize that you was given some things that a man was not given your temper men your endurance your calmness your clarity your nurturing nature that's innate so my wife it was time you know it was it was time to where she would you know complain about you know just like life just like you know doing for the boys and everything that come with being a mother being a parent and she would kind of run down the list and and at the end of it I would say but you built for it like you said all that but God didn't make no mistake I said cuz understand is not to take no shots but it's women doing what you doing who work 40 hours a week for somebody else and they don't have a good man they don't even have a man and that's how God equipped a woman so I say understand that you well-equipped to do everything that life will require of you and look what I'm doing as a man to provide for my family on a high level without man-made degrees formal education but to provide on a high level to be in the top one percent of earners in the world at a high level because God said so cuz he said I built you to be able to do that so don't don't bring me your complaints about your lot in life don't come crying about the hand you was dealt just play and you're gonna come out on top so that's what you got to understand ladies is yes it's a lot of responsibility on you but when you take that responsibility and say I'm built for this guess what responsibility gonna be on that man as well he gonna have to own up and man up and do what he is called to do and if he's unwilling to do that you got the strength to walk away and eventually guess what's gonna happen you're gonna meet your match you're gonna meet your match and you're gonna treat you right he's gonna do you right he gonna be a full man my wife last night she was not expecting the anniversary gift that I got her and it just I just had the idea on Sunday and she just kept saying last night she said man you crazy you crazy she said who had this idea on Sunday and then on Monday go make it happen she say man you crazy I said it's the god I serve it's the god I serve then people at the dealership they say listen it's the only color combination of this car in the whole state of Florida this is a limited edition like the deal that we doing for you is unheard of we mean the guys say I was on the phone all day to make this deal happen now I said it's the god I serve God has equipped me to take care of my woman like a queen you ever seen a queen lil go to go somewhere and look at how queen leo okay that's the lifestyle that God done equipped the man they give you mentally emotionally physically you take care of your spiritual he gonna add to your spiritual in a healthy way but that's on you he equipped for that so guess what you equipped for you equipped to identify and address the voice in a man heart and mind in his personality his immaturity you equipped to speak to that call stating a body I'll speak life in tone and to ignite his purpose with your presence with your poise give me with your praise with your posture you are able you equip so this what I'm trying to tell you don't run from your gifts because I could say to myself man is too hard man and some days I said man is too hard man everybody need me man I gotta take care of my whole family all the guys hit me up told my mentored him and helped him in business holy lady called him about eight issues oh my mama had to gotta help her gotta help my daddy gotta help my sister gotta help my friends I grew up with and then I got to remember God remind you rather be in your shoes are in a shoes you rather be the well that people come to drunk thing or you rather be at somebody else well you rather be gifted with what I gave you or you want somebody else problems see you got to be comfortable being who you was called to be and if you call to be a catalyst in somebody life by loving and respecting yourself not laying on your bike by loving and respecting yourself holding this person accountable you gonna reap the benefits of everything that come with it because you stepped into your purpose and you didn't run from it out of fear and frustration Oh ain't got time ain't got time for no man I'll let you got to be doing and he's um I gotta talk to him I didn't talk to him my dad and I got teaching in seiza where's mama father what a momma Dee uh-uh he better gonna meet ready if you waiting on a man that's perfect just like you ain't perfect you waiting on a man that perfect you're gonna die first you might meet them in heaven if you get there or you gonna have to meet them down there but you you might meet them on the other side if you waitin on to come perfect if you don't expect to have to utilize the unique skill set that God gave you to speak life to bring accountability then you deactivating your activation because you are necessary to the progression of the human race what you have to understand is that you don't want to have to do nothing if you don't want to add nothing bring nothing to a man life guess what he don't need you he better by self then because you gonna need something you gonna need some words of encouragement you gonna need some affirmation you don't need some love and support you don't need some help healing from your issues you ready-made so stay out the comments comment warrior talk about L I'm tired of raisiny man Oh puto Big Ups shouts I to a man that ain't got to be raised it's not about raising a man go raisin a man mean you paying all his bills raising a man mean you take he'll lazy sorry man there's ain't got no MBA raising a man mean that you do the same thing for this man that you would do for your son Danny what I'm talking about what I'm talking about is holding him accountable inspiring and pushing him to greatness and refusing to allow him to settle for Less as long as he want to be in your presence and if he won't get better then you got to get going that's what I'm talking about ain't no putting words in my mouth now hey this Tony Gaston god bless you if you got this far put be blessed I made it in a calmness god bless you we'll talk soon

Channel: Tony Gaskins

Views: 110,420

Rating: 4.945437 out of 5

Keywords:

Id: 8u5vFXuZx-A

Length: 57min 42sec (3462 seconds)

Published: Tue Mar 31 2020