The Cringiest TV Show of All Time: Keys to the VIP

hey there welcome back to my channel if you're new here what's up how's it going and if you're coming back what's up how's it going it's very good to see you again you see what happens when you subscribe to my channel you get an extra greeting at the beginning of every single video so press the subscribe button fine folks we've got a very special video today I'm very excited I've wanted to make this for a very long time but I just don't know how to go about doing it but today feels right we're gonna be talking about a very strange television show that used to be on television obviously the show is about you know spinning game being suave so I thought I'd look the part okay I'm growing out my facial hair I'm gonna look handsome and strapping and I'm just gonna look like a super good boy and I let you guys know an Instagram that I was growing my my mustache out I haven't looked at the comments yet but I thought we'd look at them now and start this video on a high note you know so let's take a look at all these how these compliments shall we alright I'm just gonna pull it up remove immediately went from soft boy looking effervescent a 30 year old in the party looks like therefore summaries I hate it you looking dumb to stop it this is what my sleep paralysis demon with his life like Curtis I think there's some dirt above your lip I have never been so terrified scrolling through my community you are rat at this picture smells like 26 cream flavor blasted goldfish you guys I'll be right back it's gonna shave this off really cool oh my god are you kidding me no razors am I gonna do I can't keep this on my face if only there was a company that could hit oh yeah today's video is sponsored by Dollar Shave Club we all know what Dollar Shave Club is high-quality razors with new blades sent to you in the mail for an affordable price it's the best but did you know that they have way more than just shaving products Dollar Shave Club has something to solve all of your grooming needs in just one box there's shower products like the sage and black pepper shampoo oral care products like the peppermint kick toothpaste skin products like the citrus Hawaiian ginger face cleanser and so much more dude one product I've really fell in love with is this dr. Carver's shave butter for years I've been using just random shaving gels from the drugstore but after trying this dude I'm never going back it's the smoothest goddamn shave I've ever had and that's especially good for you mustache hating citizens of Curtis town because I can get rid of every last little hair on my face and it doesn't matter if you're a boy or a girl or whatever you identify as if you want high quality products and the most bang for your buck Dollar Shave Club is the way to go my guy join the club with one of their starter sets for only $5 and after that the restock box ships regular size products at regular price get this exclusive deal at dollarshaveclub.com slash Curtis town and you'll also be supporting me and my channel so I can make bigger and better videos in the future all right thank you very much Dollar Shave Club now let's get into the video cam back I just had to go do something really quick he was nothing really okay so a little while back I made a video about this old kid oh and that I later found out was only really played in Canada and to keep up with this well I guess we'll make it a series now and weird old Canadian television shows we're gonna be talking about one called keys to the VIP keys to the VIP was basically a game show where two fellows would go head-to-head with each other through a series of challenges and whoever won won a nice like fun VIP night at a club and I know you're wondering what did these boys do to compete with each other did they do some sort of athletic challenge some sort of crazy gross like fear factor challenge type thing do they answer skilled testing questions nope they battled it out in a club to see who could hit on girls better yeah and they did this while four dudes would watch them from some remote location and judge them basically I don't know what they were thinking when they made this but it's we're gonna watch one episode in particular see the format of it how it was laid out and how exhale II cringy it really was when I was researching for this video I watched way too many episodes of this and my brain literally doesn't work anymore it was ruined it was ruined in the process but for the content baby it's what you do so we're gonna watch Season one Episode four and the title of this episode was cocoa butter Chris vs. yak off the trapper okay let's go [Music] in tonight's battle cocoa butter chris takes on Jakov the trapper in a three-round contest at mink nightclub each round is a challenge carefully designed to test a player's ability to seduce women in a real-life battlefield real-life battlefield you know it would be hilarious if that's what war was the Curtis here reporting for duty okay here's your chinstrap beard and aviators go where don't make your country proud where's my gun I really like fighting and stuff oh that's weak [ __ ] this is the real war picking up chicks the cameras are hidden the women are real and the game is on now we get to meet the judges who apparently are masters of picking up chicks and stuff there's just the [ __ ] smoothest dudes you've ever seen dude so smooth they're hairless and very soft so smooth here across town at Chi Lounge our expert panel of pick up commentators with perspectives descending from the four corners of the male psyche there's Allen the cold calculated master of pickup analysis peaches an ex all-star jock inspired seduction specialist jock inspired subduction specialist I hope that's on his resume Sheldon the mysteriously coy and unorthodox philosopher and Chris a hopelessly romantic man of integrity I'm gonna say something right now I'm gonna be vulnerable I used to watch this show a lot I don't know why because when I watched it I was like ten probably ten to twelve is when I watch the show a lot and I don't know why I wasn't going to clubs it wasn't picking up girls I was so nervous around girls all the time when I is that age obviously cuz I was ten but even more embarrassing than that this Chris guy the last guy they showed you I thought he was the coolest guy in the world just cuz he had like longer hair I guess and a soul patch if you're gonna have a guy judging how well another guy is doing the judge shouldn't have a soul patch no offense if you have a soul patch but if I see someone with a soul patch I'm not taking anything they say seriously they the words come out it gets tangled in their soul patch in and of an inch [ __ ] happens you know that's science dude lock it up okay now it's time to meet the two fellas competing let's go pop first Yakko the trapper hey I'm Yakko this is my pad everything here reflects what I do why I do it accessories you gotta have the right stuff can you even imagine a more early two-thousands pair of sunglasses you know those [ __ ] fast ones that are like when I'm shooting targets I'm a hunter why do I but also kind of a little bit of a trapper yeah you know what I mean who doesn't love a cowboy right yeah I love music I love to DJ I mean good for him he has a lot of hobbies and interests but I don't think a bow and arrow should ever be that close to a turntable that should be a la where those should be kept a certain number of meters away from each other nice I'm rooting for this guy okay only because of the extremely pop collar and the puka-shell necklace if you got the confidence to rock those two together my god you can do anything dude I'm really concerned for Yakov cuz I think he hasn't slept in a couple of days I like how he was talking about increase torque times there was hunting well I think in prehistoric times the yak off would have been the hundred [Laughter] bullying I know I was poking fun at him but I was only making fun of his his hobbies and his clothing all right I'm making fun of things that he chose to do he didn't choose to look like that but these guys are just like [ __ ] this guy's ugly as [ __ ] [ __ ] this guy he doesn't have a soul patch like me these four guys know everything about seduction and how to pick up girls they're all so [ __ ] mean let's watch them bully this poor man ha ha ha cocoa butter cray hi my name is Chris and welcome to my palace okay Jesus Christ I know I edit my videos too [ __ ] but oh my god can we dial it back like a bit like all this flashing and crazy transitions for a guy's bedroom before I go on I like to use cocoa butter because this is the number one key to my game I put it on everywhere tonight I'm winning I'm taking that title and I'm taking the ladies home because I'm smiling and I'm fly if this guy isn't in jail right now for murder I'll be surprised look at this face dude this is what you see before you die and what the ladies like did ha ha ha the most awkward thing I'm what the ladies like so the cameraman was like waiting for him to say something else videos like I'm what the ladies like is he gonna say something else should I just like keep it rolling I don't round one each player has five minutes to impress us with his unique seductive prowess no rules dude that's cool let's go what is this girl care I mean these girls look old enough to vote let them make decisions this is like the main problem with this show when you try to like game a PHY is it a word game fi oh my god it is cool when you try to like gamify a human interaction it's impossible because these two girls had boyfriends and obviously they're not gonna be like well yeah this dancing guy is dancing here's my number so you can't really have like consistent outcomes every time because you know they're human beings not a game but hey what do I know let's keep watching [Applause] not for a little bit ladies secure [Music] going with your name I need to know otherwise that like that's a thing that automatically set up to fail like that's so weird for one guy to just be like I don't maybe it maybe it's not I don't know do people just go to clubs alone and being light and just like - your name alright hey you wanna date okay do you wanna dance no you don't all right what's your name and then it just goes on forever I have no idea I think hazel yeah oh so the end of the first round zero zero because you know they're both bad they didn't kiss anybody what was that what was that all about huh kiss no it's a round one was freestyle where they can do anything but most of the time they have these little like challenges or rules and this one in particular they have to not use any words and just dance because you know it's a totally human interaction that will definitely work okay Jesus Christ so it's really hard to watch a lot of the time because obviously they get shut down most of the time another thing I want to talk about the four judges through all of the episodes I've seen in my life probably all of them because I I was very weird ten year old I guess you they never show them picking up girls or anything cuz I feel like if they did show them in a club doing this with the same setting it would go just the same because it back to my regular point they're not treating these girls like you know human beings I don't know just a thought let's keep going that's a DQ because he's not supposed to say a word he's supposed to get somebody to dance without saying a word it's not the rules dude you can't talk to someone dude how dare you bro that's what I'm gonna do to start conversations now start dancing in front of people don't even like saying a word hey welcome to Starbucks how can I help you sir there's a line behind you can you just go why isn't this working catch me at your local Starbucks absolutely busting a move very soon I'm three each player must retrieve a woman's phone number what the player doesn't know is that his opponent will be sent in just steal her away [Music] good okay well that was the most uncomfortable thing I've ever [ __ ] seen in my life this is almost like a legal it's two guys being like we'll come on no like what with me don't dance with me no I mean uh but like what about meat and me come on like just pulling Oh gross man it's so gross but hey the battlefield did those are deuce killed [ __ ] soldiers out there and the trenches dude being creepy that's what you got to do man he's trying like so hard to like still be cool why sup Oh God there's no way in hell that can give the VIP experience any of these clowns nobody really won any of the three rounds because the casting director did a terrible job under the casting director was for the show but they should be fired immediately what's that you want two guys who are really cool and it can are really smooth and stuff okay well I'll do the opposite of that goodbye we might as well just crown that guy you're the champion of today's game buddy congratulations that guy enjoy your VIP experience so now they just crown a random guy I guess which is actually pretty funny I'll give that to them that's really funny that they did that and now this guy just has a fun night at a club so there you go there's an episode of keys to the VIP I wanted to talk about this show because I remembered it a few weeks ago and I for a second I was like it was that actual real show or did I just imagine all of that but it's very real and you can watch all of them on YouTube so I'll leave it in the description if you want but it's just a really strange concept and I've watched a lot of episodes in the past few days and most of the girls are insanely uncomfortable when these guys come up to them obviously and these challenges are relatively tame I've seen some episodes I'll show you some examples but literally one challenge was you had to start your conversation with an insult and then still try to get their number how [ __ ] up is that you know and some TV executives were just like dude I know we're already objectifying these girls but how about we [ __ ] insult them too what do you think guys and then everybody clapped the weirdest thing about the show is that when they're competing they're in a club drinking you know dancing with girls and the prize is to go to a club to drink and dance with girls that's like if you got first place for gymnastics at the Olympics instead of a gold medal they were just like congratulations now you get to go do more gymnastics enjoy not a very good prize there's just absolutely no way that this TV show could exist today thank God it's so [ __ ] up to just go into a club and be like hey girl give me your number all right great I'm never gonna talk to you again because this is for a show for what so I can win and hang out with other girls [ __ ] you it's so so weird and the worst part you know worse than the editing the creepiness the objectification what's worse than that is chris's soul patch obviously the massaging everything is a lot worse than that but dude don't have a soul patch that's the main thing that i want you to take from this video Chris if you're watching this and you still have that soul patch please click the link of my description all right okay I mean I was gonna do it for this video thank you very much for tuning in if you liked the video please press the like button one like equals one soul patch then you won't like it that's not a good thing one like equals one shaved soul patch let me know if you enjoy this you want to see more videos like this Canada had a lot of very strange television shows and I'd love to do more so let me know if you want to see more weird Canadian shows that I can make fun of and obviously don't forget to press the subscribe button because I make a video every single week and there's so much fun and you'll get an extra greeting at the beginning of every video so press it did trust me to implement thanks again to Dollar Shave Club for sponsoring today's video I've been using them for like over a year so it's really cool to get to do a video with them click the link in the description give it a try you'll love it did that's the new slogan Dollar Shave Club you'll love it dude and you'll also be supporting me in my channel so yeah check it out guys thank you very much also in the description you can find links to my super cool and soft merch and links to my podcast that I do a weekly podcast called very really good it's a lot of fun and there's also a patreon for that podcaster you can get early access to episodes and a bonus monthly video episode alright thank you very much for watching I've been Kurtis Connor I'll see you guys next week I'm gonna go dance in a Starbucks goodbye hey guys thank you so much for watching this video if you want to see more from me there's some videos right on the screen you can click and watch and don't forget to press that subscribe button alright I'll see you next week thanks so much peace out [Music]

Channel: Kurtis Conner

Views: 2,626,388

Rating: 4.9818988 out of 5

Keywords: kurtis conner, kurtistown, keys to the vip, cringe, cringiest, cringy tv show, pick up artist, pick up artist cringe, cringey pick up artist, of all time, commentary, weird, reaction, kurtis

Id: JWACRX13HIs

Length: 19min 49sec (1189 seconds)

Published: Fri Feb 01 2019