r/Tinder | she can’t spell

you seem cool as heck and i want to know you well play your cards right and you just might get to know me i play blue eyes white dragon in attack mode oh he is so in there [Music] how's it going ladies and gentlemen welcome back to mk i'm your host robin and today we're going to be taking a look at r slash tinder oh no thank you aaron age 27 from old dominion university for the girls above 30 i'm a nice financially stable engineer for the girls under 30 i'm fun at parties and my dad breeds labrador pups and for literally everyone anyway look at my body seriously if you get to flex on the rest of us with a photo like that you don't need to be putting any gimmicky crap in your description aaron natalie age 21 woman dating me is like biting into an oatmeal raisin cookie and realizing it's chocolate chip and then realizing two hours later it was also inedible you had me up until the edible part i'd be pretty furious if i just randomly ended up high you're cute you have a nice smile thank you i like your beard she's a baby beard but she's starting work the three week itch can i sit on it sometime oh you're in boy yes ma'am don't call me that i don't like it alright [ __ ] check out this girl i matched with that's a bot bro oh god it's so easy to tell isn't it mickey age 25 dad your kneecaps hand them over so should i expect you to be shipped over to my house the next day or do i need to take you out first you can expect shipping delays since it's the holiday season the walmart box i'm matched with on bumble's offering next day in-store pickup so my zodiac sign is the one you don't want your grandma to have hmm you're making me think now it's cancer oh can you help me diagnose what's wrong with my car everyone's always asking me about how their car is doing and no one ever cares about how their mechanic is doing i hate it it's a good thing i have my library card because i'm totally checking you out very good but oh no looks like there are some outstanding fines on your account which means i can't lend you the item till we sort it out over drinks tonight now that was smoother than tennessee whiskey was it maybe my standards are a little different i'm trying to figure out if you have a sick ass tattoo or a sick ass tattoo or maybe both how big is your ding-dong i mean i'm no farmer but i do take pride in my crops my eggplants are almost as big as the ones you can buy in the store and if you think my eggplants are big you should see the size of my [ __ ] for cheesy pickup line press one for generic greeting press two for a witty sexual advance press three to finish the lyrics press four to repeat this menu press five four hey lmao country roads come on play along weird ass name you got we're two people i've never met a wii is your full name we two people couple is that a double-barreled name you up for it or not up for what sexual activity profile literally says looking for a threesome nah okay fair enough are you both 21 or is that your combined age psa girls don't be afraid to do this i was having a rough day and as dumb as it sounds this really did make my day that much better i'm gonna keep it real and sweet and simple with you dylan you're beautiful wow that's the rarest thing i've ever seen can i ask you a question ask away do you like raisins i like frozen grapes lmao damn i just checked and i'm all out of those can i offer you a date instead damn i guess that'll have to do rachel describe your perfect boyfriend dead and leaves me lots of money that's fair if you like huge ding dongs you'll love my personality what happens if i like small ones then then you'll like my actual dick foreman entrepreneur sure oh wait what do we got dog lover hiking stand-up comedy concerts and music okay my ideal first date would be something low-key like dinner at my parents house with all my extended family obviously just to take the pressure off you if all goes well second date either grab a coffee or move in together i'm not one to rush into anything so we'll see where it goes from there anyway we'll talk about it over dinner with my whole family all right blank age 30 just looking for my oxytocin fix and to be on my way so you're just looking for oxy lol oxytocin is a naturally produced hormone it's the love cuddle chemical our brains produce so i've only got a morphine hookup would that work well seeing as i'm a former opiate addict i'm gonna have to give that a hard pass though i appreciate the gesture i gotcha so you're saying we should stick to amphetamines sake if you're looking for earmuffs for the winter i come with pretty thick thighs i don't know carrying you around on my head all the time might not be very productive can i tie your shoes i don't want you falling for anyone else i just sent a complaint to google maps why because it hasn't listed you in the best places to eat out oh great are you an s.a.t because i do you for 3 hours and 45 minutes with only a water break i'm more like a driver's test your enthusiasm to take me is adorable but you're most likely 16 and don't know what you're doing i'm a hopeless romantic looking for a cute simple relationship i'll steal your sweatshirts i love escape rooms jesus is my friend i've also never seen the notebook nor game of thrones i made an escape room in my basement no one's ever won yet wow i love disneyland me too face ride sure why not i meant fave oh my god i'm dying i'mma just say right now the best part about this whole conversation isn't that mess up it's that he told her that my bedtime is at 12. corey age 32 straight man i like to run a lot my ex didn't like it she would always say you're too quick and you always come first so i ran a bit slower and came third but that didn't make her any happier hey marnie what's a fun fact about yourself hey once i had a dream about a frog eating my toe wait you thought that was a dream that was me asking for a kiss to break my frog curse oh gosh i'm so sorry i didn't realize that was you eating my toe loki liked it so when we break in this frog curse i don't want my parents to know i'm gay do you want to go on a date wow this is wild they're those kinds of parents huh yeah both my dads are crazy ooh plot twists abound girls sending the first message on tinder guys yeah as an ugly person i never got that luxury would you rather screw a goat nobody know or not screw a goat but everybody thinks you did are you the goat one message and you're already thinking about screwing me to be fair i was thinking about that even before the message hey hi how are you fine what you doing nothing how was your day fine all right bye then if you don't want to be there then don't be there jesus some people actually use these apps to talk to other people and meet other people and you're not helping by responding with fine yeah fine grandfather seeking companion for granddaughter she suffers from poor choices i'm guessing this helped her out quite a bit if you could rearrange the t and the a in your name that'd be great i hate how good that one is and i've never heard it before my guy you are smart hatty bro you aren't wearing any hats what the heck max i'm sorry bro i thought you were hattie now you're telling me your name is sorry bro ha you're actually hilarious no i'm actually max haha oh thanks i never get invited to anything how are you god i hate the way these read a bit tired got my first dose of the covet vaccine earlier today so i'm feeling pooped how's your week going that scares me are you starting to transform makes me think of the movie i am legend yeah my skin's actually turning into that weird type of material called my doctor says it's just boyfriend material says not to worry smooth the perfect tender profile doesn't exist i'm dying to meet you where can i see you she must be busy maybe she doesn't have notifications on she's thinking of a good way to reply she'll reply tomorrow she must be sleeping it's already seven it takes her a long time to reply not because she's busy but because she does not want to chat with me she cancels plans with me when she finds literally anything else to do she initiates small fights in which she tries to demean me my only purpose in her life is to give her attention and boost her confidence when asked i'm not going to waste my time and energy this way anymore hi got any plans this weekend i'm in my most irrational fear mayo like the clinic like the condiment well you can run away from it it'll never catch up do you ever swipe right on someone and hope that it'll be a match that was me when i saw your profile that's a terrible opener but i just wanted to be honest with you since we're going to get married now do you say that to every girl in hopes no i don't i promise believe it or not my openers get a lot worse than that my openers usually hello this general kenobi we can get married yes oh you're so attractive you've seen the multi-billion dollar franchise that i've also seen dang where'd your upper torso go oh my god that took me a minute which is exactly how long i last in bed that's what god gave you a mouth for hey she's got a point samantha a [ __ ] has 8 000 nerves if you're gonna get on my nerves you might as well get on one of those just one of them hits call nurse button on hospital bed i won't lie that's the best pickup line i've heard you've caught my attention this isn't a pickup line i genuinely need a nurse can you help well what would you like help with sir i crapped myself i don't know what to do it's everywhere the moment she said you've got my attention this dude knew that it wasn't gonna go anywhere so may as well have fun with it i hope your day in the mountains went well i'm really sick and hope to see a doctor tomorrow ah babe have you tried the nhs hotline dial 1-1-1 also walk-in centers at your local hospital are sometimes easier to get into than a gp let me know if i can help sending you big hugs i'm in the hospital and i need surgery i just wanted to thank you for the walk-in center tip it saved my life whoa hey that's a little bit different than the last ones this may be controversial but screw waffles marry pancakes and kill french toast what makes you so sexually attracted to waffles i've got a thing for holes waffles have what is essentially a hole in it in fact many holes wait i'm supposed to be the one in the holes i also just discovered there's an emoji for holes i hope you like pegging okay wait maybe that was a little too strong you don't know me yet don't ask me to send some pics take me out on a date buy me some food and try to get me naked at the end like a freaking gentleman ah chivalry will never die we wants it we needs it need what it's ours they stole it from us you mean freedom sneaky little hobbitses i'm confused you must trust master jesus what the hell i get that her name's precious but this is just weird all around see i'd message first but pretty girls scare me so i see you still message first you calling me ugly huh i saw it going differently in my mind no i'm just a major dork some guy on reddit thanking me for reviewing his tinder profile me who's never had a match are you the stock i just bought in gme yes i see why everyone's telling me not to pull out damn that was smooth hello there why is spider-man so good at comebacks i don't know why is spider-man so good at comebacks with great power comes great responsibility that actually is the first time i've heard that ones that's pretty good that works no i have a boyfriend we can go to lunch though what you doing on tinder if you have a boyfriend breaking up with him on the 15th tell me you're joking why what's wrong you can take me out to dinner monday wow that's just so messed up maybe there's a good reason for her doing it this way but i somehow doubt it yikes real quick what's the name of the 2011 rom-com starring anna faris and chris evans what's your number what's yours that's a good one me having never gotten a tinder match in my life going through this subreddit like same i mean not that i want one now i'm perfectly happy in the relationship i'm in but still when i was on the market it was [ __ ] torture instead of going to couples therapy married people should just join tinder and see what a nightmare single people have to deal with that's not a bad idea probably a lot cheaper if you're registered blind how did we match is your labrador really that good with a phone i just follow the instructions to the cha-cha slide while swiping and hope for the best sarah f9x two plus two four interesting you are sentient okay maybe not that sentient sugar daddy i give good cuddles conversations and sex let me know what you think lol i definitely am not in the right income bracket to be a sugar daddy but maybe something familiar a splenda daddy if you will hey are you today's date because you're 10 out of 10. that's cute and thanks too cheesy are you a shoe because i think we'd make a nice pair well that one's cheesy okay then i won't go with my vacuum cleaner joke because that one sucks no i want to hear it please oh lisa i like your detailed profile i don't like yours i'm sorry for wasting your time have a pleasant evening well appreciate you being upfront about it have a good one now that i know you're a nice guy what's up eh we're not playing that game oh hi mark anyway how's your sex life it's from the room the rooftop scene my vibrator is getting so much action these days how about you oh yeah my response was also from the room crap was it nobody tinder couples looking for a third every damn time i'm actually a big fan of foreign currency not entirely sure why i'm telling you this guess i just want to pound sterling oh you look like trouble i might be that's funny cause i always seem to be getting into trouble jesus i have train facts i know this isn't my first train historian match i was very excited when i saw you again oh well then any train questions or do you want a random fact i recognized you from reddit ages ago when i had a fake profile on here a random fact would be great please during the shooting of the film the train the script called for a scene where bombers destroyed a french train yard it just so happens that nscf the french railway had a yard they were planning to destroy anyways the studio offered to destroy it for them and after decorating the yard with tanks and trains they blew it sky high twinkle twinkle little star let's have sex inside my car how well has that one been working for you i think i'd have more success sending the original song you would scott you would carsex is cramped and annoying i don't know why anybody would be like yes let's do that are you from tennessee because you're the only seven i see bold coming from a five ouch luckily for you i like my boys a little ugly well not luckily for you i don't like [ __ ] so bye although in this case this dude definitely deserved it because if you rate somebody the first message you send to him you deserve to get a little bit of fire coming your way titanic what sorry that's a bad icebreaker my vagina just permanently sealed shut oh i thought it was funny me swiping left on a hot girl who definitely already swiped left on me yeah when a hot girl starts the chat on tinder something's wrong i can feel it yeah it's always a little suss at that point isn't it and on that ever glorious note we've come to the end of another video folks but before we get going let's take a look at today's fan art mk king dice that's it i love it what the hell is going on in the background always remember if you even somewhat enjoyed today's video consider dropping a like down below and if you really enjoyed it well make sure to get yourself subscribed and click that bell icon and if you're feeling particularly generous take a look at my links down in the description below i'd love to have you around and until next time we'll catch you later

Channel: EmKay

Views: 275,587

Rating: 4.969449 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, reddit stories, ask reddit, funny reddit, emkay, memes, Tinder, r/Tinder

Id: HmCpmRpG-Xk

Length: 15min 33sec (933 seconds)

Published: Fri Mar 26 2021