r/Tinder | i'm fine 🙂

hey roast me hey how's it going my friends told me about this app so i just downloaded it out of curiosity to be honest i was not expecting to match with you now being a bot is a damn good roast hey hey hey what's going on everybody welcome back to mk i'm your host robin the one with the worst teeth and today we're going to be taking a look at r tinder the saddest one of the bunch if you think about it hi boo what up b 64 miles away damn let me go on a run real quick and make that 69. you run 2.5 and i run 2.5 69 is all about compromise is it i feel like if you think about it that way you probably shouldn't be doing it at all because someone's getting the raw end of the deal hi hey hey what's up i will delete my account take care oh story of my goddamn life do you want to hear my facts about bears yes that's the correct answer most species of bears can run faster than the posted legal speed limit in residential areas in the united states which is 25 miles per hour unless otherwise posted for those that don't know they can also slow down their heart rates at will to survive lacerations making it almost impossible for them to die by bleeding some bears can hold over 150 pounds of meat in their stomachs some bears can swim for over a hundred miles before resting basically what i'm getting at is that bears are terrifying wow you blew your load in one go man all right let's see pros in an open relationship so no commitment a big partier six foot two can probably make you laugh cons in an open relationship so no commitment probably have a drinking problem not tall in the pants emotionally unavailable but my gif reactions are on fire oh shoot i was supposed to pronounce that hi damn these bots are getting prettier and prettier you caught me thought i was doing a pretty good job had me full too so you want my credit card or social security number actually i just need your phone number damn this bot even got the smoothness dot exe guess what what you look like my next big mistake but i'm interested lol you look like the bullet i'm about to dodge oh bro my zodiac sign is the one you don't want your grandma to have you're making me think now it's cancer aaliyah age 21 swipe left i'm looking for my cheating boyfriend's profile okay i was about to use a cheesy pickup line but i'd rather not ruin my chances with you no no no cheesy pickup lines are my favorite do you like mine oh i don't think those are pickup trucks though monica you cook vegetarian do i cook vegetarians no cooking people is illegal i guess it just depends on where you are in the world dude hello i'm shy too but i'll say hello i give you points for being shy like me heck yes how many points do i need to win the bigger question is what do you want to win you what are you going to do with your prize something consensual god this is stupid if you need a nice jewish boy to take home to your parents so they'll finally get off your back about why you're still single my services are available i don't come cheap though i don't have parents well it sounds like you're in need of someone to call daddy luckily my services are still available man creates his own dating app bans all other men from joining he is too dangerous to be left alive wonder how that worked out for him in the end i honestly matched to find out what exactly fandom means financial domination guys pay to be degraded and dominated what the heck i'll degrade myself for free thank you very much what the hell rachel age 23 alright call me captain ahab because i'm missing a leg and hunting for dick she's perfect hey what's one thing you want to do in 2021 that you didn't get to do in 2020 die you could have just said you or something made it a little bit funnier but no you man cute dog can i have them no can i have you instead that was smooth was it was it really smooth it's all just a facade to make you drop your guard with me then we fall in love move to hawaii and get married but i work too much so we argue we decide it's time for us to split up i get the dog in the divorce it was all for the dog that's the long game lotta all right if we meet up for drinks and you don't look like your profile picture you're buying until you do well that's fair what if i do look like my profile picture though because believe you me that's just as disappointing me i have a car a house and a career i'm only five foot nine though women 25 and up women with careers women under 25 with no career oh no that ain't gonna work i like my men at least six three oh yes i'm six three dude i don't got a lot going for me looks wise so at least i'm tall alright i got one thing going me replying back a week and a half later i'm fine and you oh man nope i'm not responding to that dude brandon age 38 nice i see he's a very skilled fisherman hello laura you look pretty fly hey sorry if that opening pun was a little plain no problem i was just winging it so where are you from i see none of those jokes really took off yeah she's not interested in you whatsoever she's barely reading those goddamn messages you sent dude on a scale of one to america how free are you north korea wow how'd you get like that every time i get ghosted by a girl i do one push-up jesus christ me logging on to tinder expecting to find a girlfriend there are a lot of clowns on bumble the girl makes the first move girls making the first move if you're lucky ah these are the same girls that on tinder tell you that you better say something more than hay or high tinder executives when someone pays for tinder gold honestly forgot that was even an option with that app man wow i'm half italian i was wondering where your cute defining features came from so half italian i can definitely see that's in you but what's the other half well i don't know for sure but i was hoping my other half might be a little oh i see i see i'm into a lot of things you want to know anything specific surprise me well i'm kind of a geek i love marvel movies harry potter and star wars hello there hello my disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined oh good lord i'm very sick of pretending to be a cool laid-back girl so boys will want to date me i'm insane i'm literally balls to the wall insane and that's okay [ __ ] is immaculate head game is otherworldly and i'll treat you right and also cry every day high risk high reward that's a small price to pay jessica looking for a man or woman who is orphaned and is a billionaire they must also be anti-prenup because prenups are anti-love good life insurance policies are super sexy i prefer someone smaller than me but i'm not very picky how big are you hey wanna steal my comfiest hoodie what the hell yeah sweet but you got two choices do you prefer burgundy or more of an olive green olive green i'd say or whichever one is bigger okay i'll be sure to wear that one on our first date speaking of when is that hey pretty smooth let's think about this we meet up and have a great day we date for a year and then get married have two kids and then five years down the road we start fighting both turn to alcohol get a divorce and the kids are unhappy or we meet up have a good time hook up you pull out and i do the walk of shame and never see you again just think of the kids oh and i need a date to my sister's wedding i don't see the downside here didn't we kiss one time during a game of truth or dare in my neighbor's front yard in the seventh grade have you ever really felt alive since well clearly not me swiping left on a hot girl who definitely already swiped left on me gotcha most people don't give a crap about your height stop going on reddit so much that being said i only date guys that are 400 feet tall covered in hair and are enemies with a large prehistoric lizard favorite time about 10 minutes before i matched with you by the look of things oh intense bio i respect it so what are you looking to get from this app some benefits lol like dental or just medical what do you mean my first tinder match waiting for something to happen me wondering what happens next oh my god there is no way she looked like that in the original movie i'm sorry what did they do roses are red violets are fine you be the six and i'll be the nine i'd rather die damn okay you can be the nine geez tell me a fun fact about yourself um i have type 1 diabetes well very interesting i'm 23 deaf about to be 50 after i moan in your ears okay what color can i paint your nails any color as long as it's black so black well good choice are you the goth man i've been looking for i'm only goth on the inside i like wool sweaters way too much to fit the full aesthetic so you gonna let me peg you or what jesus that jumped a little bit how tall are you five five exactly exactly what what's wrong with that the heck am i supposed to do pet you how tall is she most girls tinder photos be like yeah or you can see like 25 of their face in the bottom right or left-hand corner of the photo hey hey would you like to meet up lovebird69x did you add my snap say potato have you joined my snap potato say it okay fast add me potatoes well i'd say emma's a keeper hi cutie are you flirting with me 100 can you teach me how i'm a tad rusty honestly same okay i'll give it a shot i like the shrubs in your first photo they're very green but you know not too green i guess huh i also have a feeling we're not searching for the same thing on tinder the same thing there's only one thing i'm looking for and what's that walk away just walk away right now you know what i can't stand sorry let me reemphasize you know what i can't stand so what would i have to do to get your number you're pretty cool perform a magic trick i can make your standards disappear damn anastasia if you're over 35 it's time to forget about young girls and find you a woman who can recognize signs of a stroke she is a hundred percent right on a scale from one to ten you're a nine i'm the one you need ah come on i'd say you're at least a three get depressed go on tinder yeah that's a vicious cycle can i treat you like a snow storm give you six to nine inches and make it mildly inconvenient for you to walk and leave such a mushy mess afterwards hello please don't hate me as long as you don't leave me cold and dead on the side of the road what the [ __ ] snowstorms can be unpredictable accidents happen six to nine inches that sounds a little bit generous i think more realistically we're talking two to five a closed mouth does not get fed swipe left if you support masks vaccines and tyranny swipe right if you're into crypto anarchism and natural law i run an activist group with intentions of restoring the true normal through community building and education i host a weekly virtual conference that you're more than welcome to attend honestly just looking for a little like-mindedness in this post-covet zombie apocalyptic plan endemic non-compliance is freedom holy crap please for the love of god it's not very often when you have the chance to dodge a bullet because it's moving this slow i don't really like beards lmao why would you swipe on me then well you can always shave it i won't though the beard stays you won't shave for me no i won't why not i don't like guys with beards sucks to suck then i'm not shaving it for you guess you'll have to miss out on me tomorrow night then those who would shave the beard for [ __ ] deserve neither the beard nor the [ __ ] ben franklin probably why would you ask someone you don't know to already start altering their [ __ ] body for you you freak dear men of tinder owning a house isn't a personality trait listing the countries you've been to isn't a personality trait having abs isn't a personality trait owning a dog is a personality trait though what's its name i love it do you really speak english or translator i literally work as a translator and also teach at university cool but do you speak english like fluent why are you asking someone that when it's clear you can barely [ __ ] speak it hi there cutie hey sorry i'm not interested damn can i try again give it a year hey sorry i'm two minutes late no damn you waited of course connor aged 18. yes i'm in a wheelchair i wasn't always in a wheelchair yes we can get front row parking yes i can give you a ride anywhere you never have to worry about me walking out on you but you'll roll out pretty quick autobot style me downloading tinder as a 19 year old looking to flirt with girls endless likes with no matches that's for literally every mofo that uses it i'm a hopeless romantic looking for a cute simple relationship i'll steal your sweatshirts i love escape rooms jesus is my friend i've also never seen the notebook or game of thrones i made an escape room in my basement no one's ever won yet wow pimples zero blackheads zero the number of sexual encounters i've had since downloading tinder a year ago zero and on that incredibly depressing note we've come to the end of another video but before we get going let's take a look at today's fan art one of my first fan art pictures just made it too as lexi damien jack and robin that's still not how you spell damien's name hey look at that what am i always remember if you even somewhat enjoyed today's video folks consider dropping a like down below and if you really enjoyed the video well then make sure to get yourself subscribed and if you're feeling super generous check out my links in the description down below and until next time i'll be seeing you you

Channel: EmKay

Views: 347,447

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, reddit stories, ask reddit, funny reddit, emkay, memes, Tinder

Id: igL2ENAom8c

Length: 13min 35sec (815 seconds)

Published: Sun Apr 04 2021