r/Me_irl | somebody help him

when i grow up i want to be carried away by owls well you gotta give him an a plus for originality on that you go daniel chase your dreams what's going on ladies and gentlemen welcome back to mk i'm your host robin and today we're going to be taking a look at r slash me irl i never know what to expect with this one without much further ado let's hop right in shall we cool things about being an adult eat chips whenever you want no bedtime tired all the time sad all the time wait a sec i love kindness unless it's a person at a four-way stop waving for me to go when it's clearly their turn simon i like the way you think sodium an explosive metal chlorine a deadly gas table salt [Laughter] chemistry sure is great when someone you trust finally touches you and you realize you've been starved for physical attention all your life now what kind of parents you guys have man my mom gave me hugs omg shark dude we're sharks all right this is how i feel about teenagers okay i don't smoke dope i don't drink bourbon all i want to do is shake my turban this guy seems like a pretty cool dude me order something with same day delivery at 11 59 pm amazon oh god damn it therapist all right so we typically call these things a traumatic event not a bra moment or major l oh no no no i don't like that at all ah man i'm only 24 why do i feel like i'm 90 half the time my evil clone pointing to me shoot him he's the clone friend aims at the clone the real alex would never pass up an opportunity to die that's real friendship if you ask me mother my son will be a doctor he will save people's lives father no he's so smart he will be a scientist me in the next room hey i do that all the time for my second date with my husband we met in new york city and went to a party and ended up at a mcdonald's at 3 a.m where he reached across the table grabbed my hands looked at me adoringly and said i hate this i wanted to go to bed at nine do not expect this of me again hot damn setting expectations real fast me respecting the quarantine as much as possible everyone on instagram don't worry you'll most likely be fine however they're not gonna be so lucky so count your blessings my friend bill gates is spending 150 million dollars to try to make a coronavirus vaccine as cheap as three dollars brits you guys are getting charged oh oh don't even get me freaking started i've already had to tell every member of my family and my roommates that if i'm dying i'm sorry that's it i'm not going in the debt for nothing man just let me die america be like time to vote for president these are your choices is that lutarkin redmond it is isn't it humans sends interstellar radio message into space every life form in the universe swipes left well can you blame them though as i can't me reading 300 comments of an argument on facebook that has nothing to do with me hey whatever floats your boat you find it fun and entertaining you do you boo believing in the bible makes you a christian but reading and understanding the bible from first to the last page makes you an atheist strongly disagree i do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man she must be silent [Laughter] oh man i need to see the responses to that pov you are a female with a legend of zelda shirt on oh god no no no this is making me very uncomfortable ah okay i can't hold on any longer we're moving on when you stop being shy around new people but you start getting annoying why are you like this oh wow oh wow this one really really hits me it's like getting punched in the face by a truck i'm just sad now my top three assumptions when doorbell rings number one murderer number two police telling me everyone is dead number three that book i ordered about positive thinking wait everyone is dead everyone what the hell man man we're sorry to report that everyone has died oh no that can't be get pregnant you'll find out who your real friends are i promised you that i just feel like there are steps you can probably take before this one i mean you could lie that's easier than actually doing it when god hates you ooh yeah that's unfortunate not many blessings for you to count her friend 1957 905 grams 1978 1800 grams 2005 4200 grams freaking hell how old is this chicken when your friend about to do something stupid but you kind of want to see what's going to happen stop but maybe don't stop too quickly my wife i be like connected but no internet first day as a bartender her pina colada please me okay can you make it a virgin trying not to cry yes i know how to make it as a kid i thought sleepovers were wild because we played video games for 10 hours then i heard about girl sleepovers and they're wild man they gossip and eat 40 pounds of food and take blood oaths and host fight night and sacrifice the weakest member to the goddess of the moon like what the hell alright ladies in the comments you know the drill tell us what's what when the page is taking forever to load so you hit reload and just that exact moment when you hit reload it finally loaded every freaking time my phone hundreds of screenshots i don't use don't worry i'm sure you'll use them soon just just keep them a little while longer gender is a scam made up by bathroom companies to sell more bathrooms son of a [ __ ] figured it out i can only be contacted by telephone call i can only be contacted by text message explain why you cannot be contacted by telephone call i don't like it that's totally fair they gave you a box to write anything you wanted in there you could have just written cheese smell good and they're not gonna read it they don't care me changing all my socials profile pictures after getting a good picture we all know damn well how hard it is to get a good picture of ourselves okay when you're almost asleep but you hear that you got a text and you have to roll over to see who in the world would be contacting you at the ridiculous hour of 9 pm and it turns out it was just ebay reminding you about that stupid weird 35 year old graphics card you looked at once for no reason and then this happens again at 9 45 pm and it's just a notification from credit karma letting you know yeah you're still okay i wish for a million more wishes oh dear you stupid idiot you guys know how this car from cars is a world war ii jeep which implies that there was a car hitler and a car holocaust and also there's a car pope which means a car jesus died on a cross for their car sins wait till you remember the buses and taxis and rvs of that universe me during my emo phase me during my current phase where i'm a thousand times more sad but dress normal for work that's dressing normal for work where the hell do you work i would love to get a job there hey hey how's your night going my what night okay good night insecurity well that's not what i was looking for but i hope you figure that out man everyone at schrodinger's funeral looking at his coffin when the barber spins you around to reveal they ruined your freaking life i don't think it was the haircut that messed you up in this case my guy me just trying to find an empty toilet stall the person i made eye contact with it's even worse when the crack in the door of the stall you're sitting in lines up with the door to the bathroom so it's freaking inevitable i just received a two-hour voice message from my boyfriend guys guys i listened to it and his dumbass forgot to end the voice message after saying good night and just slept what if vesuvius volcano erupted in 2020 ariana grande drew a black line on her shoulder to make us believe she wasn't naked in the pool with her boyfriend well you know celebrities aren't supposed to have sex and be naked and stuff that's gross see look cases are dropping get stick bugged lol idiot he fell for it when you carry your personal cloud everywhere you go me at 15 i'm gonna be a cool adult i'm gonna be down with the youth me at 25 this goes right back to what i was just saying earlier when the main character is dying but you know he won't cause he's the main character poor linus i feel so bad for linus laziness random motivation at two in the morning more laziness ouch i am in this picture and i do not like it oh that's your girl lmao then why did you just give me your number and insurance information after i rear-ended her in the applebee's parking lot i don't know harvard graduate i don't know i can't explain that one for you people sick of seeing the same meme format me combining formats for internet points oh god what have you done having to cough out in public excuse me everyone i need to inform you all that i do not have the kovid i simply have choked on my own spit because i am truly incompetent as a human see look cases are dropping ah how the turntables oh lovely now wait a minute the americans are asleep quick post images of free healthcare you can't do that that scares me so i came in here a few months ago and bought this and the antenna's already fallen off can i just upgrade to an apple the guy wants to be mad but he can't the four stages of making a meme yep that's about right i don't know from experience i'm just guessing only psychopaths buy a sticker and immediately put it somewhere no you have to think about all the places you could stick it get overwhelmed and then put it in a drawer for three years do you not have a water bottle because that's the easiest place to put it other than your laptop or something i don't know maybe on your toilet yeah accessorize your toilet they're always boring white or eggshell thanksgiving dinner 2080 me has dementia this turkey has big dick energy my great grandson bro what the hell march commercial during these uncertain times we're thinking of you and your family august commercial look you might as well catch it at burger king me trying to fit the sleeping bag back in the sleeping bag bag i feel like once you actually get it back in there some kind of cosmic being will come down from the heavens and give you an oscar not like one for the movies but here you completed something no one else in history has ever done and i mean universal history not just human history me at 14 can't wait to travel the whole world once i'm earning my own money me now mustn't forget that tupperware at work it's my only one car full of boys slowly pulls up next to me while i'm walking home from the beach me thinks i'm about to be cat called boy number one yo sweats nervously where'd you get that boba oh it's just down the street on the right god i freaking told you jared have a safe flight you too you too god i'm such a freaking [ __ ] me in 2040 looking at the f my son got on his math homework that i solved not all landlords are bad people hey i noticed you were going through a tough time right now financially i heard you got laid off because of the pandemic i hate seeing my tenants unhappy so why don't you enjoy a rent-free month wait really you're amazing i've been stressed for the longest time and this might actually be the gesture that gets me back on my feet you have no idea how grateful i am nah just kidding go crack yourself usps tracking package has left the facility we've got no freaking idea package delivered what we see what humans see hey wait a minute i'm colorblind introverts whenever they get the wrong order works for me oh another one that hits deep within my soul coronavirus enters my body flintstones vitamins i ate 20 years ago our time has come bonnie let's go sometimes i feel like i fake my depression for attention my depression literally doesn't think it's good enough to be real depression i got depressed depression bro dudes who order boneless wings close the fridge with their hips yeah and what of it my hands are full of my is fat you freaking wish you were me look man i don't like getting my face and fingers all greasy gross nasty plus i like chicken nuggets my mom bought me a two carat ring carrot oh my mistake i stand corrected my dad's signature my signature oh god yeah it's always going to be that way can't wait for our kids signatures to surpass ours and we'll feel real stupid dad pumps gas into car mom the smell of gasoline gives me migraines me in the back seat inhaling that petrol incense smells good okay me holding newborn son he's beautiful doctor we're gonna have to give him some shots oh hell yeah pour it off it says freaking birthday first person to eat a banana this is not good first person to peel a banana dude guess what fakest thing i've ever seen fakest thing you've ever seen really they made a movie about dinosaurs destroying an amusement park but this is the fakest thing you've ever seen quit yelling capslock is stuck spilled baja blah [Music] i love masks i can't believe i let y'all just breathe on me before i feel the same way about grocery lines like always stay six feet away from me forever believe you me this pandemic has changed things across the world forever what is the opposite of um i don't know dexter i think you just screwed remember kids drugs are for losers yay drugs this a-hole fish decided to walk out of the water one day and now i have to go to work and pay rent thanks a lot you piece of crap me stepping out of the time machine i come from the future soldier oh great we could use your help thousands of us have died in this war for a treasure called salt what like table salt why do you call it that why do you call it that remy i hate this debate he's a street rat he would absolutely clobber stuart with his bare hands stewart hasn't worked for anything in his life remy knows the struggle stewart's a little yeah but stuart has a car oh and a freaking airplane and he's friends with a cat i don't know i feel like stewart's posse makes up for his lack of street cred things strict parents think they're teaching you how to behave what they actually teach you how to listen for footsteps how to appear busy how to manipulate someone into calming down how to lie on the spot if someone gave you 200 because you're ugly would you take the money absolutely i'm ugly not stupid guys if you know any rich people that are willing to pay me to be ugly please give them my email you ever smell the air and it smells like the third grade scholastic book fair on a chilly tuesday in october of 2007. chris holy [ __ ] you can't do that to me i'm gonna lose my mind now our cat was forgotten outside she activated our ring doorbell to come in well did you let her in doctor i have your test results me did i pass [Laughter] you will soon what depression isn't always obvious shaving my piano oh bill wurtz never change if you see this straighten your back you banana-shaped oh yeah all right hold on all right that's better i can't wait for me to go right back to my slouching position in about 45 seconds if asians got random english tattoos as well it means love in english i just got a new tattoo it's chinese for japan look i'm sorry that your language is more visually beautiful than ours the english language is boring at least when it's on paper i mean for real though if you want your childhood to completely disappear right now go look up times new roman and tell me you don't feel different i'm gonna freaking die disease symptoms tummy hurts a bit too much for a bit too long i don't understand why two people reaching into the same bag of snacks at the same time is considered romantic like excuse me you're in the way of my snacks excuse me no excuse you [ __ ] i was first bro there's nothing like when your game loads for a second and you see yourself in the black mirror of your monitor and you have that brief clearness of mind and think what the hell am i doing with my life then the happy colors come back and you forget all about your problems five-year-old me after saying no we can't to the bob the builder theme song mom i threw up that's nice son wait i don't have a son and i'm a man what are you doing in my house girl touches my hand my ding-dong erects why though she only touched my hands your ding-dong will forever be silent on what it likes now that i've lived during a plague i understand why renaissance paintings are all of chubby women laying around with their boobs out well i can't really relate i mean i lay around with my boobs out too but no one's painting me or offering to paint me for that matter i would like to formally apologize to the jurassic park franchise for every time i've gone why would they just constantly reopen the parks people are dying 2020 has me seeing clearly now oh my god the real world sure is nobody in their right mind would come to helsinki in november except you you bad welcome i have a sudden need to go to helsinki severely injured woman heroically fights off paramedics trying to force her into medical debt oh god oh that one hits hard and with that we have unfortunately come to the end of another video and i was just getting myself going too i was having a really good time always remember if you even somewhat enjoyed this video consider dropping a like down below and if you really like it well then make sure to get yourself subscribed and click that bell icon i mean you already know why i don't need to remind you and until next time we'll catch you later

Channel: EmKay

Views: 514,891

Rating: 4.9632254 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, reddit stories, ask reddit, funny reddit, emkay, memes, r/me_irl, r/me_irl emkay, r/meirl emkay, r/meirl, me_irl, me_irl emkay, emkay me_irl, meirl, meirl emkay, emkay meirl, wholesomememes, wholesome memes, emkay memes, wholesomememes emkay, r/wholesomememes, r/wholesomememes emkay, r/memes, r/memes emkay

Id: KIMVo1XOV0U

Length: 18min 3sec (1083 seconds)

Published: Thu Oct 22 2020