r/Tinder | Can't change my name sorry

hey hey you're cute literal 10 and a 10 I know 10/10 is one you're a 1 what's up guys and welcome back to MA my name is Damien and today we're looking through our slash tinder I usually go for a it's but I guess I'll settle for a 10 you win that got me Congrats I'm your bro now you know I like that that's that's confidence that's suave had smooth Rachel 20 send me $10 see what happens nice move my guys sent her gold digger by Kanye West I like your style chief new dating app idea called 7.5 only for people who are like a strong 7 maybe an 8 on a good day who look karna athletic but would probably die if they had to run a mile have depression but the kind that makes you funny cars check engine light is on no one else is allowed okay what just download that real quick I like that idea I'm gonna I feel like I'd fit in that bracket maybe I feel like a kid again because imagining with you was like finding the prize and a happy meal because I'm a choking hazard gotcha I can't be mad about that one the lol you can't yes you set him up for it it was a hook line and sinker and my man he went for it yeah you got to really applaud the UM the opportunity that he took so I will allison 18 years old i got fired from the smurf bank for drinking on the on the job but we can't have nice things it's exactly why we can't have nice things are you my appendix cuz this feeling in my stomach beast want to take you out i hope i can feel you in my stomach i do not hope that Ali Ali you're asking for a tall order if you can feel them in your stomach there's a couple issues cuz you're you're you're you're messing with an orc if you can feel that man ins it in your stomach something medically is wrong you match with Madi on 23 7 19 so cuz you're in the army are you an officer because you make my privates stand at attention well don't oh my god I love it please don't get weird I'm sixteen next moment army cadet so big moved abort mission are cb4 retasking yeah bored mission for sure my dude hi why are you awake just got home from work rough why I had so many questions sorry I'm pretty effed I'm a stripper that literally answered all of them yeah hey babe sup I'm available I don't like that I'm trying to say available available I don't like how it sounds it doesn't roll off the tongue look available y'all just need to change the English dictionary to how I say I'm available for what I can come to your room for some fun where you staying most of the time I'm at the space between crippling depression and disappointing my parents so come on over the other mediocre time I assure you I assure you Tut's I have some bad news for you love what is it 5 foot 4 oh my god I'm 5 foot 2 you're perfect oh that's cute that's adorable that's that's a cute one let's take a bath oniy a toaster 19 I like taking baths with people how am i dear super like Becca and Spencer 24 years old not interested in dating we're a married couple looking to see if anyone wants to come to church with us we figure if you're on tinder you might need to lecture Jesus in your life this is a real offer to come with us nothing seems alright Blanc 18 years old all the birds were killed in 1986 due to Regan killing them and replacing them with spies who are now watching us the birds work for the booze huazi okay damn alright how bold is bold because I eat my cereal with no milk and that's pretty bold if you ask me you ever tried cereal with water that's the bold I'm looking for now we're cooking with gas I eat my syrup with no waffles cream cheese no bagel IE but through the pants come over come on you never realize how boring your life is until someone asks you what you do for fun play minecraft with the boys when I was born I had a decision bomb coochie or a good memory can't remember what I picked I know what she picked burgers are cool I'm more of a sub type of girl hmm six inches or the full 12 inches damn okay look at we're talking actual subs I can only take a six inch because I'm small Katie more than that lmao so you're a sub type that's happy with a six inch I think we'll get along fine there's nothing wrong with a six inch okay shout out to the six inch I new computer-science what about you the head life choices dude archaeology damn I don't think I could go out with you then you'd always be dating other people damn I know my pun was good but I wasn't expecting you to make you speechless guess I'm just that funny huh a real comedian huh okay call me back I won't disappoint you when we go out for drinks though I like the confidence will you serenade me too what kind of musician are you I'm a peonies peace peace say screw you cerium saying peace a pianist I'm so sorry also guitar I guess I shouldn't leave with that one that's really cool now wanna play five truths and a lie you game hell yeah go for it okay I'll throw out six things I'm a black belt in Taekwondo I don't have any student loans I've done some ESPN broadcasting I once drove six hours to Idaho with my left foot because my right foot was in a cast I've had a vasectomy I've been in the car accident five times last ones a lie what how'd you guess that I want to be a detective I'm smarter than you give credit for lol I did not give you credit for being smart the first two are in your bi own pictures the third is likely linked here mentioned of being something professional in an obscure sport the fourth is too specific to be a lie the fifth is a wild card and therefore was likely true but the last one is different than the others it has a number in it which means you've likely been in at least one car crash the actual total number is obviously different than what you indicated oh good marry me if it was that easy I'd be married a million times over my dear it's fair it's fair enough what a smoke crack I'll bring the crack you supply the pipe holy crap I've been president whoever that is lmao sometimes you get surprised Alex hey cutie bats eyes lol it's gotten to the point where I can't tell who's real and who's a bud on here okay now you really lost me but oh crap you're a real person there's fake accounts on here that match with you and try to direct you to camp sites fake uh no you just never been hit on by a hot girl or something lol there's a rule thumb on tinder for guys about buds one to two photos no profile info and messages first you hit all of those okay now you really lost me but holy crap are you kidding me what's wrong are you a real person uh yes I'm a real person what you never met a horny girl before what why don't we hang out that night at home hmm logic hey is still too soon no to the neckbeard that programmed the spot I salute you damn girl you area 51 cuz I died to get inside you I think I gotta let you because that's so smooth and original nice work my guy hats off chief yes I have a daughter at school was it like having a minute you it's pretty awesome lol have you tolerated cool tricks WTF she's not a dog law how old is she 3 it's not too late go on fetch sit roll over and you know the classics what does a wiener in a Rubik's Cube have in common they're both my uncle's toys I played with when I was little all I can do for that answer is clap mine is nowhere near that funny what's the difference between a cat and a coochie nothing they're both things I haven't shaved since 2003 I like the answer wouldn't stop me though hey did it hurt when you fell my man's name is tangelo like the citrus hey did it hurt when you fell you got anything better than that what am I gonna say finish the line smartypants when I fell from heaven no it did not hurt no see that wasn't the line I don't even want to say it now I was gonna say when you fell for the vending machine because you look like a snack but you were too impatient huh hello what I'm fine thank you for accepting my invitation I hope I do not disturb you no problem are you a robot how old are you 4,000 years old me I'm 22 what's your job I basically bring Souls across an interdimensional portal to feed the ancient ones what do you do for fun me I'm a caregiver what are you doing now harvesting an elderly lady for organs and eventually collecting her soul I'm alone in my room and naked you want to see me not really this old brothers kind of putting up a fight maybe later promise me that it'll stay between us okay bro I just admitted to harvesting organs you better be the one to keep quiet snitches get stitches after our harvest they organs Pretender bio said where we're going we don't need roads have a date with it this week I don't need a flux capacitor to see that you're in my future you are the only man on here to hit me with another bag to the future reference you win damn I can't wait to see my prize it also helps that it's one of my favorite movie series of all time so I'm equally impressed it's in your bio maybe the prize can involve you noticing the subtle Back to the Future poster that's on the wall next to my bed hmm that's lie Mary I like to superglue my thumbs to my nipples and walk around like a t-rex what the hell don't judge me don't judge girls on tinder how tall are you you guys on tinder how much do you weigh girls on tinder you are supposed to do that I used Google autocomplete to write a dating profile and it may be the best dating profile ever name my name is in French age my age and seconds location I live in a shed nationality I was born in the dark body type my body type is ready Reggie is that you I'm looking for someone to share in an adventure who enjoys listening to sad music and has two thumbs I enjoy long walks on the beach I like turtles I like dogs and I like to party my ideal partner would be a person who is addicted to alcohol who can fix my car and who thinks the earth is flat my turn-ons are hugging and depression my turn-offs are being blocked on whatsapp and being found in human form guys that have a hard time meeting girls if you tried painting some wings on the side of a building and waiting for them to come take fascias thank me later 30-plus women on tinder having kids divorced owning a dog not looking for a hookup are these personality traits no and that brings us to the end of our slash tinder and if you enjoyed the video leave a like down below no one's gonna know just go ahead you hear this do that and subscribe for more content from MK and as always I'll be seeing you [Music]

Channel: EmKay

Views: 1,947,198

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, r/tinder, r/tinder emkay, r/tinder top posts, r/tinder best posts, r/tinder reddit, reddit tinder, tinder funny, reddit funny, emkay tinder, emkay

Id: HMND_iQs3BY

Length: 11min 39sec (699 seconds)

Published: Fri Aug 02 2019