r/Thathappened | I CATFISHED MY MOM

ah what a sweet little girl actually that's my son but his hairs in a ponytail and you're balding yet none of these things have anything to do with gender good day but I said good day sir it's an all cap so I had to yell it what's up guys and welcome back to ms treta readings north of the Equator and today we're looking through our slash that happened this legit happened in my class that's how you know it's fake of the word legit one classmate started singing then when it was the chorus the entire class joined teachers came to watch and they started taking videos of us after the song was done we just started singing Queen songs the entire day what an amazing day my sister's son can't say his last name but he could secretly order champagne when they bring you a glass of champagne and you tell them you didn't order it in the respond madam your son ordered it for you I've trained him well hashtag Cheers hashtag thanks babe he's like seven years old what kind of piss-poor waiter would look at a seven year old going can I have champagne he looks down he goes yeah yeah you can so when I was 16 I came out as a lesbian to my family i sued my friend we're having pizza for dinner and I just stood up slice in hand and said they spades is for gay people cuz they're from Alabama so the other you know country it took a big bite without breaking eye contact then my friend stood up took a big bite out of her slice and kissed me on the lips we weren't dating but I secretly had a crush on her then my 18 year old brother stood up and took a big bite out of his pizza and kissed my father on the lips for three seconds that I could just see his cheeks go tomato red well my mom couldn't stop laughing eventually she had to leave the room because she was choking on her drink a little ah yes the Alabama ritual this this slice is for gay people every Thanksgiving my four year old has recently taken up cursing yesterday he referred to bed time as an effing crisis at four years old bedtime is a crisis I don't blame the kid Bill Gates in a restaurant after eating he gave $5.00 to the waiter as a tip the waiter had a strange feeling on his face after the tip Gates realized and asked what happened waiter I am just amazed because on the same table your daughter gave tip of $500 in you her father the richest man in the war that gave just $5.00 gates smiled and replied she is the daughter of world's richest man but I am the son of a woodcutter Morel never forget your past it's your best teacher not only that does not happen but the formatting of this post is terrible two out of ten to that happens out of ten then after I woke up in the morning this girl was on top of me naked as hell and I'd be like bro WTF no wonder why I feel heavy on my chest and her breast is touching me in crap someone's just not gonna say anything and let us sleep on the couch cuz it's too early for this stuff and I put a blanket over and that's what happened to sleep over last night and today this morning I went home happened IRL as always my god her balance was huge as f and she dick oh well well and I don't want to hear hey red why don't you just that one a completely different direction than I wanted it to go I don't even want to finish that sentence so I'm talking to this dude and I mentioned my cat he laughed it's their only chicken crap [ __ ] guys if gets it ticked me off and I thought man this guy's about to learn a big a lesson about talking to me like that so I threw my cat on his face I could still hear him screaming as I ran away I never got the cat though he's still out there somewhere WTF moment at work customer asked me how I stay in shape eat a lot of celery and peanut butter you're lying you do more than that me goes to the kitchen where I have a box of celery and peanut butter see told you her laughs and flirtatiously touches my arm do you eat howdy f did we get from celery teats and I see no connection well she shuts you know just trying to find out your diet honestly if you're going to speed just prove to them you know how to do it safely I've had police officers break check me and since they wanted to test my ability I put on a glorious display of sequential down shifts black lines from tire streaks in the sweet smell of heated brake pads and rotors just to show them yes although I'm speeding I'm paying attention they never harassed me any more that cop probably pooped himself wondering the amount of paperwork he was going to have to write if I did lose control of my vehicle and crashed because he cut me off since then I've gotten annoyed with them and just wave at them parked at the side of the highway doing speed patrol they know who I am wait Tony Stark Iowa every time before downshifting and hauling ass past them the one nothing to do with it because last time they want to follow me he found out I know where the truck speed governor is and I know how to keep it on the road at 180 kilometres an hour hour slash that happened so some guy now feed a spoil major thing an end game like he legit you shouted it out before the movie started everyone was so pissed they grabbed him tied him to his change baton even one guy threw a lit match at his face crazy night if I do say so myself didn't something like this just happen though oh hey I wasn't there a story about some dude in Hong Kong he watched end game went out and screamed spoilers out like out in public and got beat up and hospitalized maybe maybe there's more more truth to this story I asked the cashier why super smash but GameCube was $60 and they responded with donkey noises he wouldn't stop but while I was completely out of the mall lol what not only that does not happen it doesn't make any sense are you implying our employee followed you will bring at you or that you could hear them until you left the mall if it's the latter please describe the employees that we can use them as an old-timey Barker hey come on down to the ye olde game shop are Super Smash Brothers spent a Gamecube is 60 gold C gold come on now come on peasant you want Super Smash Brothers I game come on story time oh boy my sister calls me at 1:00 a.m. as drunk as a 19 year old can be which is as drunk isn't any other person who drinks a lot of alcohol tells me she just watched end game is going to spoil it all for me she then proceeds to slowly tell me the entire plot of The Lion King don't drink kids maybe you want to have a comma there cuz I'm not gonna drink a child thanks anonymous tweet my brother went into cardiac arrest from drinking energy drinks he was on his second one working a double had the same effect as a cocaine overdose they told us he was completely brain dead and went wake up out of his coma he did in his with us today but he isn't the same had some brain damage okay maybe couch shouldn't be drinking them any monsters when your child tells you she got into an argument with a teacher over Easter teacher Happy Easter I'm a Christian we don't celebrate Easter we honor the resurrection I am Christian too but Easter is fun for the kids to hide eggs Anna Planes the meaning of Eastern fertility the teacher explains new birth in spring we all have new birth in Jesus and I won't be lukewarm hashtag case closed who cares it's a fun holiday it's for kids ago get chocolate eggs and peeps marshmallow peeps you're a buzzkill Anna you're gonna grow to be terrible this is the only place I can share this and moms might get me my suspected D s age eight longs for a baby brother however has two younger sisters while snuggling on the couch tonight before bed he says mom you're supposed to start your period this week totally shocked I replied yes I am how do you know that well I've noticed you start your period towards the end of every month your tummy really hurts when your eggs drop dad was not out of town then so you very easily could have become pregnant a few weeks ago I really hope you are he has been secretly following my ovulation and period cycles I don't know he bet not only did that not happen it's gross that you made that up weirdest homophobic entitled mom so today I was just riding my bike down to the local grocery store and it was raining but Sun was still out so there was a rainbow that's cute I'm just riding past these two mums and they hear one of them say why the F does the government want our kids to become gay by making these rainbows in the sky yeah weirdest one yet from me got on bus bitten pay some blokes thoughts me see if ticket collect on his shirt just a fancy way of saying masive Virgin damn I live right goodnight you know put me on bro ski mask on no face no case crushed his glaciers with me long because they'll slip ons called the driver of fant Peter on flooding is just how we do alright hey the problem with me I'm gonna give you a lift right good night the best thing happened today my sister and I went to the store to get some food and I had my newly fixed wolf tail on when we were walking out this one older guy probably in his late 40s asked if I was a fox I said wolf and he smelled and turned around revealing his fluffing fox tail and I crap you not we were both excited and then he was yipping and I was barking my sister pulled me away and I growled at her and I said to her fairy uns know one another we are brothers and sisters don't fluff with our stuff man then she told me to shut up a time not a theory in don't care I got to meet someone like me anyways how was your guys asleep I was that was my dream everyone stay calm there's a knife funny watermark don't worry it's just a level 1 online funny watermark it's gonna category once not that dangerous gonna blow over after this post today at work I was taking a customer's order and he complements my hair and says my sister would sell her soul to have hair like yours I laugh and respond getting chased by hellhounds aren't worth it she can just buy hair dye then he looks me straight in the eye and says is that how you got your beauty by selling your soul to Crowley and that's how he got a free meal a young man working in the army was constantly humiliated because he was black and believed in God one day the captain decided to humiliate him more before the troops he called the young man and said young man take the key and Park the Jeep aside the young man replied sir I don't know how to drive so I can't Park the Jeep the captain said then ask for assistance from your God show us that he exists the young man cried took the key went to the vehicle praying to God all the way as a result he parked the car perfectly well as the captain wanted the young man came out of the car thanking his God and to his surprise he saw all the troops crying they all said together we want to serve your God the young soldier was astonished he wanted to know what was going on kathan was crying too and he opened the hood of the Jeep showing the young man but the car had no engine the young soldier said see this is the god I serve the God who gives life to what does not exist you may think there are things that are still impossible but the god of possibilities will be your God in 2019 amen I'm not gonna lie like the sound of it if I pray to this gun a possibilities can I pray to make you guys subscribe to the MK Channel I just don't know maybe if I pray hard enough if I pray hard enough maybe it will come good morning a hacker was stolen my spotify premium account and everytime i try to change the song he plays fu by Cee Lo Green I hate him but somehow I admire him also I would you know if I stole someone's spotify premium account I totally would do that that'd be funny my mom grounded me so I can't fished it for six months it broke her heart hey tweeted that for my soldier game console forget about it so turns out my professor is a straight savage hi oh well final exam grades are in it it turns out y'all are all freaking stupid mark Thompson had the high score of 57 way to go mark the low score was a six like Jesus Becky why'd you even show up good luck on the rest of your exams you'll definitely need it hella Mayo John one time we had missionaries over at our house and my mom mentioned the fact that there is a Star Wars religion one of them got so excited that he clapped his hands together and blurted out I want to join the other missionary give him a surprised look and then I kid you not two seconds later it started pouring and handling outside the other missionary just glared at him and went look at what you've done Larry say you want to do it now look God's mad God's mad because you wanted to join Luke Skywalker you see what happens Larry question everything story from a mom who took her child to the ER with a cut vaccine free Oh God we're going to give her a tetanus vaccine really what brand in configuration did you have in mind just tetanus do you mean the TD AP well yes so you want to give my child a vaccine for three diseases when you're only concerned about one it's the only way it comes lying or stupid not sure so how long will it take for the vaccine to help or create antibodies against tetanus about three weeks if this wound contains tetanus spores in the correct environment how long before the spores start producing toxins causing lockjaw than death immediately so you want to give her a vaccine that she won't mount an immune response with the tool about a week after she's dead then you did say you went to medical school right we left without the shot or TIG scares me that I have more information than a doctor it should scare you too copied from Laci Sanchez page both the you and Lacey Sanchez are idiots sitting in my bedroom I whispered I give half to myself and immediate my seven-year-old shedder from the living room we don't give up on this family we take a break and try again and try some more he also said those emojis out loud too when I was 13 I was playing World of Warcraft and someone asked me my age 13 was so young so I lied and said I was 14 because that meant I was so much more mature well I kept playing Wow with the same group of people in four years later he thought I was 18 someone started asking me how my applications to college were going since I was that age being caught in the lie about my age they played along and asked her advice I played along with the advice which resulted in me actually putting in a college application to a university and I got in as a high school junior so to keep up this lie about my age I now had to finish high school quickly so I could actually go to this university that accepted me great part is that I was able to do this by overloading my spring semester of senior year high school with online classes Hey Florida online high school and I managed to graduate high school year early and went to university a year early to keep this line going so here I am at a university one thousand miles from my home state finishing my BS and am now doing a master's all because $0.14 a way more mature than thirteen on a video game sorry for formatting on my cell phone in the lab I am working in for my master's project lol yeah sure bud sharp bud write that five sure buds out of ten well no one ever believes this but I have witnesses and even they thought they were imagining it our son is a type of autism where the child learns to speak read solve problems very young but as a preemie he was also very tiny four pounds seven ounces so he always seemed younger as he grew he was about 18 months old he was in his crib I was exhausted so watching TV and drinking some tea he pulled himself up and said mommy may I please have a drink sounded just like that - I stopped muted the TV and looked at him I figured I'd been on TV where I'd started to fall asleep and imagined it I said Matthew did you ask mommy for something he said yes mommy I need a drink please I started to bawl because I thought I'd actually lost it or had a stroke so I called my husband at work he came home and calming down yes I'd given the baby a bottle of water first and Matthew squealed and yelled daddy you are home my husband's jaw dropped he went over to Matthew and said sweetie did you just talk to Daddy Matthew said yes what did you say I'm glad you are home can we play now there were these people sitting in the back who wouldn't stop talking so during a kind of slow point the movie I stood up and yelled everybody say fu to those people talking back there okay three two one and we all yelled a few thoughts he's killed my great-grandma's friend in Belgium by putting him in a giant freezer he fell on and broke into pieces in front of her that's not how that works it's not how it works my friend you're using Twitter web you could have looked up how freezing works before yet whatever pizza delivery guy literally just gave me my 16 dollar order to me for free because he liked my Lord of the Rings t-shirt being a nerdy girl pays off some Duns some vegan came up to my door today and tried to punch me because I eat meat and I slammed the door on her face and now she's bag with six of her friends and the odds of very slim the stand no chance I asked the cops and I was allowed to defend myself and he said yes my day just got better they just threatened my dogs now it's on okay the fight is over I wanna knock someone jaw at a place and the cops took him to jail cuz it's the fifth time this vegan group has threatened me in a month and this is why I hate vegans there was no punctuation in this entire sentence there's just one run on wall of text me at Starbucks today what's your name me try so hard not to be handled trash at this moment yet fails Alexander Hamilton my name is Alexander Hamilton says under breath oh no quickly scribbles down Alexander Hamilton on Cup before anything else can go down five minutes later well rested to coffee for the $10.00 founding father without a father who got a lot farther by working a lot harder by being a lot smarter by being a self-starter my 14 was placed in charge of a trading charter me runs hysterically up to the barista runs hysterically up to the barista to fangirl about Hamilton for the next few minutes yeah today was a good day okay bud and that was the end of our slash that happened and listen I know that's a that was a dangerous journey we just went through but we're better for coming out of it my friends and if you liked the video leave a like if you really liked the video I want to hear more from Mk just give us a subscribe and as always I'll be seeing you [Music]

Channel: EmKay

Views: 3,091,880

Rating: 4.9353633 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, r/entitledparents, r/choosingbeggars, r/choosingbeggars top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, sorrow tv, rslash, giofilms, fresh, emkay, r/thathappened, reddit that happened

Id: LmgvvSXBPZY

Length: 17min 5sec (1025 seconds)

Published: Fri May 03 2019