r/Technicallythetruth | Hey, it's true!

what are you currently reading twitter technically i can say that i'm reading pictures right now too logical loophole [Music] good day guys and welcome back to mk my name is jack and if you're looking for some liars well this ain't the place for that pal we only speak truth here technically so beat it extra fancy mixed nuts premium quality the packaging doesn't say it's edible so this works to be honest my music taste is so hard to describe like it's literally everything except for the songs i don't like oh no way same z's let's share spotify playlists mine's just songs people have danced to on tick-tock because i have no unique qualities as a character oh that's gonna get a lot of hate to me making out with girlfriend on the couch huh you want to take this to the bedroom aight i'll grab this end you get the other nice to see a meme out there about how good i am at picking up a woman's hints what is a person from london called a londoner underneath my neighbor is from london and he is called rob you are welcome math as a kid math as an adult what you think about little kids fingers huh it's a bit creepy mate maybe you should uh use a calculator like every other sane adult you freak if i see you thinking about maths your kids playground oh i'm calling police sperm cell the other million sperms oh the face that room looks like a mess why are they on the floor like that ah the circle of life is disgusting this isn't what the lion king taught me at all an extremely realistic mechanical rhino sand sculpture dude that is so cool wow that is realistic really looks like sand [Music] [Laughter] ah you suck that is dumb you suck i hate it it's just what i imagine the artist is saying when he reads that two-year-olds when they look at clocks these are confusing times to be fair i think they have that same thought towards practically everything but this is also me when i wake up before my alarm clock like why what are you doing brain do you hate me because this is why i hate you this is why we have issues where did all your money go i'm either wearing it or i ate it literally nothing in between in fact i only buy food i just i wear my food and then i'll eat it later on would you care for this hot dog from my armpit on the plus side i am completely immune to flashbang grenades [Laughter] oh no if i was the teacher i'd give this kid an a defend your answer sarge i don't know how much longer we can hold them damn it private you defend that answer at all costs this boy's getting today notice the patio was currently not open because it is closed oh this is like the last one where you need to defend or explain your answer but you just you can't be bothered going into details there was a spider on my desk but it's under control now so you don't need my help okay no wait come back bunk beds are human shelves if this guy owns some sort of hostel i don't want to go there oh the boneless avocado avocados don't have bones that's why i said boneless but if avocados don't have bones in the first place why would you even say it because it's boneless duh this guy got destroyed with those straight facts life advice lamp don't buy a car buy a gun you can get a car with a gun i'll be honest mr life advice lamp i don't think you're good for me shut up and do it punk you've really changed what you expect i couldn't stay a sperm forever that's what you think and you you are correct which came first the chicken or the egg hold up how's this all connecting are we connecting them by like species traits and just evolution or we connected them as if like a bird got busy with a crocodile guys animals aren't pokemon you can't this isn't how it works like not joking if humans go extinct nobody will care because there'll be nobody uh the people going extinct well looks like reality had to face reality hilarious mood just a cow on the beach it probably did oh come on man accidentally sets himself on fire in brooklyn hoo-hoo self-burn those are rare ask reddit why the frick aren't you asleep because it's morning here i look forward to seeing hunter risk's minds being blown by the existence of time zones it's currently what in australia oh wait so how big are you though uh six foot four-ish no i mean like in bed how big are you still six foot four just sideways like come on oh i'm saving this one to use one day which songs give you goosebumps the goosebumps theme song this is the only true answer anyone who says anything else is wrong and deserves to be deleted as well no there's no subjectivity with this question it is truly they were genuinely asking for the goosebumps song would you take a bullet for your partner part of me but taking things that are not yours is theft babe you took a bullet for me i'm calling the police i'm sick of this from you travis we didn't agree to this in that prenup has anyone else been feeling like laid off david wallace lately i know i have dude no way andy there looks exactly like the actor in the screenshot that's wow wow what a coincidence anyway condoms are for demonetisational demonetization pigeon with the head of a horse and a body of a horse that's a that that's a horse it's not a pigeon that's a horse though if it feels it belongs to be a pigeon then i'll accept it because i'm progressive like that i'm progressive towards horses or pigeons whichever i'm i'm progressive shut up hi are you still selling the truck i saw the photo already composure hi are you still selling that truck yes can you send a picture of the truck jesus sorry he should have immediately sent a photo of his trunks that would have been just perfect veterinary doctors are the only doctors who eat their patients ah it's scary because it's true people who can handle cold showers how not having hot water helps how to burn 3 000 calories in one hour very creative i love it not the best method to burning your calories but hey if it makes you feel better you go right ahead and waste all that cake mix and now for some lovely poetry by someone named owner it reads this store is not open today because it is closed sorry truly a deep and profound message to the current times and life struggles what am i saying look this sounds correct whichever way you look at it ah yes oh landed that one perfectly death live pro noob question mark clearly this was written back in the early 2000s teachers are far more edumacated on a young slang when you are colouring a pie chart time spent on blue time spent on yellow yes it's correct yes sir well done you get a point a school festival is a festival that takes place at our school people die if they are killed don't let anyone deny that anime is deep and philosophical for me cigarette companies will never be able to advertise to this generation everyone knows their health risks so every tactic seems borderline criminal they can't appeal to us on any fundamental level every cigarette you smoke takes seven minutes off your student loan debt oh my god i gotta hand it to them that is really good advertising horrifyingly dark but still good shower thoughts there is no reason to fear ghosts ever either they can hurt you or they can't if they can't then the best they can do is the occasional scare and if they can hurt or kill you then you're a ghost too now and it's freaking on oh we're on the same ethereal play now buddy come on bring it all that's what you get for freaking me out give me a heart attack i'll give you a left right good night what is something that is universally a wee wee move yeah i'm calling it a wee wee move what about it moving your wee-wee [Laughter] thank you for this contribution yes thank you thank you complex donuts you have you have made the world a better place you're just a butthole aren't you no i've got arms and legs and everything like babe i'm the whole package except i don't have a way sorry if that doesn't work out oh don't worry i have one wait what awesome hey you going to sleep yes now shut up how can something be cake flavored if cake can be any flavor nothing is written in stone do you get it do you get the joke see the joke is that nothing is written in stone it's written it's it's there the the nothing it's written the nothing nothing is written that's that's the joke hi uh guys tell me why we fight for freedom or peace loot boxes they should apply loot boxes into the military i'm sure people would be joining it in flocks just imagine some guy running around with some shiny gold helmet but everyone's scared of him because they know that oh he's got a rare thing he's been playing for a long time why is there a coyote on a bus well don't worry man with this thing questionably in sun here's an apparent expert on the case because they can't drive it's uh it's pretty self-explanatory some kids gonna look at this and start crying violently to their mother yeah who wouldn't orphans ah just super evil i love it cool bug facts oh not this again if you were to lay out every human small intestines end to end across the earth the entire population would die thank you cool bug uh can i ask why you uh want to mention that to us you okay buddy you want to speak to someone professional about this roses are red that much is true but violets are purple not freaking blue damn you rhymes for ruining my perception of colors properly in primary school if your dog does a poo please put it in a little bin no god damn it not the actual dog i'm sorry rosie but you've been a good friend i have you why did you poo why did you poo you just couldn't hold it in could you the switch was too heavy so i had to get a lighter one every phone is a folding phone if you're strong enough considering people have put their phones in microwave because they thought it would charge faster i wouldn't be surprised if people did try this kind of crap ugh why did no one tell me that this phone that could easily break from being dropped break when i fold it easy to understand yo why does your bio say you don't have rheumatoid arthritis because i don't cannibalism would serve both overpopulation and world hunger what only exists because humans are horny humans flashlights babies this is like doing a maths problem where everyone did completely different working out but all came to the same correct answer if video games make children more violent why do they keep losing fist fights against me dude who are you he's just this big bulky man he's approached like kids after school they're leaving classes like going home for the day just approaches them on the street like hey you play call of duty what's your level bro come on oh that's good love y'all fight me come on show me what you got oh man you're far too weak stop it please i'm only seven years old richard has seven years to prepare come on yes my daily dose of humor is thinking of a big brawny man beating up a bunch of kids but joker is bad you are so brave for hating a popular film bless you braver than a vet vets aren't that brave all they do is take care of animals that last guy is technically the truth but i'm gonna give it to freaking sonic capable hedgehog here the seething fumes of sarcasm from that comment is just fresh a new scientific study claims that fertility is hereditary if your parents didn't have any children chances are you won't either uh hold up you telling me that i uh i can't have kids cause thank god just gotta point out that adopted kids exist so technically parents who don't have kids can still have kids so uh well bam there goes your study mate beating science with better science like a big man beats up little kids who can't get violent from video games that's that's what we do at the channel hold your finger sometimes my geniuses it's almost frightening i mean genius tumor sure but you're not gonna get any progress doing that age check how many of y'all remember these things those tasted horrible tasted what the hell it's nice to know though that i'm not the only person who is curious to try these things why did i put it in my mouth i don't know okay i was a kid gummy balls and like ball candy things were like a thing back then and there's a computer mouse with a little ball in it so you you're curious you do you want to get what's what's it like huh and you give it a taste and you realize that it's like rubber paint and suffering that's what it's like but you can't get rid of it it's the taste it stays it lingers it's like a constant reminder of your feelings funny post by the way time 9 15. wall clock love you tony but it doesn't beat the post from gladiator where he's like oh you're not entertained that said someone should cut out this photo of tony and put it on a clock i think it'll be great nintendo entertainment system will nintendo entertainment system will rock the dwayne johnson letter u oh it's actually we smith wii smith dwayne you oh of course it's that famous song we will dwane you by clan me so zero degrees celsius is the equivalent of 32 degrees fahrenheit my math teacher yeah so me so does zero degrees celsius plus zero degrees celsius equals 64 degrees fahrenheit my math teacher apparently gets some sort of sudden brain aneurysm thing so where you going why are you living the classroom sex ed is literally just how it's made humans yeah yeah it is how long do they stick to the wall until they fall off how has this got so little likes why is this got so little likes come on internet who can drink two liters of gasoline no one you'll die jerry can come here you son of a worthy top view front view side view thank you spider-man but this is morning assembly you don't need to put this presentation on right now ask a question that can change the world if women's nipples need to be censored but men's nipples don't can i censor a woman's nipples with a man's nipples yeah i never get this logic with things like social media and stuff but hey as long as women flaunt them and men oogle over them they're going to be considered censorable content still super dumb logic though when my son was five he asked what does coffee taste like i replied unfortunately not as good as it smells his response oh like shampoo and how do you know that little boy i understand that your son is a man trapped in a woman's body yes he'll be born in july oh what perfect stock imagery you are not a real gamer unless you play video games and relying on clapping to send your point across doesn't make it valid just shows it lacks constructive criticism yeah guys animals aren't pokemon you can't this isn't how it works i made it i'm alive i am done with technically the truth for this day thank you all so much for watching and dealing with my partial growing insanity uh thanks again uh like the video if you enjoyed the content guys subscribe for more we've got more coming along on the channel thanks again for watching my name was jack and i'll see you guys next time see ya

Channel: EmKay

Views: 609,482

Rating: 4.9383888 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, reddit stories, ask reddit, funny reddit, emkay, memes, r/technicallythetruth, r/technicallythetruth emkay, technicallythetruth, technicallythetruth emkay, reddit truth, truth, reddit puns, dad jokes, puns, emkay technicallythetruth

Id: G8YQGO-Q2co

Length: 14min 36sec (876 seconds)

Published: Thu Jun 18 2020