r/Technicallythetruth | DO NOT USE BLADE

you can live the entire rest of your life without breathing yeah what's up guys and welcome back to MA my name is Damian and today we're looking through our slash technically the truth there's literally no way to convey sarcasm through written text there was literally no way to convey sarcasm to written text also / s wine I don't drink water hey she said she doesn't drink pal I mean yeah stop offering I read that you might quit acting and just disappear where did you read that oh right here I wrote it down thanks Zack crap oh I get the joke yeah because you can compress coal into diamonds that would ruin minecraft is a game though straight up so funny meme bad concept Alex is a former child Alex 25 is a former child from Oceanside California we all once were Alex hey if we removed all laws the crime rate would be 0% how about you think about that okay sit on that how to trick a name dude I've been sending this to my friends all the time oh oh I've been sending this um you know friends with discord for like the past three days it makes me so happy whenever I see a you bastard Damien or just like an I hate you after I post it it fills me with joy how many people are gay at least five according to Google my doctor said now that I'm older I need to install a bar in the shower a new dummy choice done let's take a brief look back at 1975 shall we there it is bikes pill for sale yes it is what's the lowest you'll go on this two miles per hour anything less than that you'll tip over you know for that issues give it away for free I think after that haven't be paid enough at that point my four-year-old niece is on the hyper side so my brother-in-law was trying to teach her about behaving and said little girls are made of sugar and spice and what else and her best Batman voice she replied lying bones the hell is a kumquat it's like an orange but small and you get the skin it also doesn't have the bone is there an orange that have bone Brian notice why I said it doesn't had the bone I mean Brian you're not wrong but you're also not right I want a brain transplant change my mind well Steven that's a very interesting proposition why are you asking publicly this is a crowdsourcing event Stephen just curious what's the source of this photo oh you know probably a camera here's a chart to help determine the risk of bear attack no risk of bear attack that's a really high risk of a bear attack that's also no risk of bear attack what is the most pointless thing that actually exists circles oh hey quite curly grants you've reached a new personal best for longest amount of consecutive time spent alive don't ruin that streaking out traveller now what do you know about being alive you hoodie not even a man you're just a hoodie what do you know about being alive bet you'd shrink in the dryer idiot I'm looking at some a DeLorean good shape low mileage only driven time to time here's a step-by-step guide to becoming a fossil step 1 die well that's all I need to know really right did you fly me to walk from my hands to the pump it's a 35 minute walk from the pub to my house the difference is staggering it's true I could get it this door handle fits perfectly into this hole in the wall well I mean there's a reason for that don't tell no one but that hole in the walls because of the door who actually says they're good at eating well eating competition winners from one they would be actually pretty good eating you ever heard of Matt Stoney that guy can eat he's what we call a hungry boy do not use blade to open but this mad lad has no concern he's got the clover on his side he's going right in he's got a seven-leaf clover on his hand luck is on his side how did you describe yourself in five words efficient that's only one word I know electricity consumption in Europe in 1507 and the entire continent just zero kilowatts dude cartoon characters only sneeze when it drove into the plot actually a cartoon character only exists ones relevant to the plot get your facts straight walrus okay bud Ernie how do I look with your eyes Bert did you not know that it's very with your eyes you idiot with your peepers you [ __ ] dolt dunce face Paul oh I get it I see the joke here why are extinguisher well hey I mean you're not wrong but it doesn't seem like it's gonna be enough in the case of a real emergency fitbit's are just like Tamagotchis except the stupid little creature you have to keep alive as yourself but I get no funny little reward out of it and what's the point watch Florida man steal a car realize a baby is in it drops baby off safely before making his getaway you know he's more responsible than whoever left a baby in a car alone well I could never lend this shirt to anyone fricken Robert Downey jr. well he can lend it to your wife you know every girl's a squirter if he cut the right artery and that's my motto the life baby no I'm a squirter if he cut the right we first to your apprentice just started on the job I'm on he brought in a curry for his lunch my tradesman just asked him how hot it was and he went just depends how long you put it in the microwave he's fired now hand in here don't worry teach I'm Way ahead yeah well come on excuse me tip when making it a play Disney music in the background that way if it gets leaked online Disney attorneys will have them all taken down dan I appreciate the advice you know I think height all depends on how tall you are oh now dude seems like a weird factor to have in there we just ate why are you making pancakes they're for the dogs why are you making pancakes for the dogs they don't know how duh I have intended to just get a one-way flight to Ibiza Ibiza I beat a Biser Aviva Ibiza how's the sound in there Ibiza how is that the pronunciation where are you getting the sound no I have a big problem with that we Abbi fuh how does that word even relatively look like the sound Ibiza oh oh I wanna fight whoever made that decision whoever made that we're throwing hands whoever made that decision we're throwing hands tonight I will find you and I'm gonna dock you in the brain dude ten you just get a one-way flight to a beef ax and see where I'm in and see where I end up probably a B phone so it's a stupid name hey is there a combination of Alvar of your noun that doesn't sound like an innuendo Oh suck your D that's not anyway it's pretty direct actually I like that in a vendor's end game dine historic says that he has ironed them before clicking his fingers this is a subtle nod to hyoeun man Iron Man 2 Iron Man 3 The Avengers Avengers age of Ultron Avengers infinity war Captain America Civil War Spider Man and spider-man homecoming where Tony Stark is in fact Iron Man just in case oh you cheeky little best as I see what you're doing there I hate you oh I hate you if you're who looks like this she's a keeper a beekeeper made a necklace with my man's so I'll always have a piece of him wherever I go please the kids are going places they call it speaks Korean in Korean thanks man looks like there's a very suspicious leak into the sink and that leaks like what do you want what do you want what do you want for me bub huh what are you looking at I'm just a leek doing nothing wrong to learn who rules over you simply find out who you're not allowed to criticize Voltaire ah so we need to rise up against showed with leukemia that's not quite what he's saying but okay blindness complete or partial loss of vision symptoms may include vision loss well it comes with the term I suppose I suppose you're correct that but why like my grandma died last week what man that blows sorry dude friendly reminder that planet Earth is a dense molten core encased in a layer of solids and therefore is technically speaking a ravioli Danny you're not allowed on earth anymore buddy we're sending you to space not allowed to come back until you delete this tweet Gideon may not rest now there's monsters nearby Kyle's trying to sleep maybe he can't sleep though why the Frick that we let morning people set the world's operating schedule dude they do that while we were sleeping on my last leg oh-ho I said you can't get no more if you lose that other one sorry I hit my microphone today special order any two pizzas and pay for them both really that's a steal I'll take it the big part of this story is lost when it becomes a movie you know a big part of stories lost when you cut a big freaking circle out of it you idiot hey how does one make a thousand dollars a week you good job paying 52k a year your pets have tripled in size what is your immediate concern that my pets have tripled in size like what is going on what I feed you guys that kibble doing something to you hey I hate to ruin your smile but I want your lips really is that the best pick-up line you come up with no wait I got you I got you left and right check it out meow ha ha robots or dinosaurs it's important dinosaurs by 61% Ezekiel's asking the same thing I'm asking how's this even a question uh because it has a question mark in it dude stupid you idiot this ain't my first rodeo me after buying my second Isuzu Rodeo whenever you walk into a public restroom you're temporarily transported at home so you can poop in peace this is more of a crappy superpower which is easier to break your crushes relationship or one of these bad boys you know a sharp object can technically make short work of either of these if you thought about it this sign signifies absolutely nothing at all it mainly takes up all space and wastes the readers time thanks the Shrek what is the one thing that you would miss the most of you suddenly became deaf sound probably Hey look at spaghetti carbonara never text me again this speaker only plays rock music check it out baby haha hey you know what if you can get this a mean without the cabbage and the near unapproved Mimar maybe the Queen shows is dishonest early on in the movie cars by saying he is speed when in contrary he is the car Hey look check this out statistics show that teen pregnancies dropped drastically after the age of 20 no one knows why but hey the trends of trend the flash status running I sure hope so I've been asking people what LGBTQ means and nobody will give me a straight answer I'd get it that's funny I had a stroke that made me gay what makes someone gain for Chris birch from whales it was a stroke stroke of a wiener more like it boom my name is Dottie Meldrum I'm here all week summer camps are requiring children get vaccinated amid measles fears hey do they offer camps for kids that are not vaccinated yeah they're called cemeteries when will home he steals my asthma spray you're breathtaking please return it please ten hours of absolute silence the original baby close your eyes the video is gonna be in VR I printed this guy's guy you wasted ink my thoughts on homosexuality it's gay oh yeah that's kind of the point dude that's at least three diamonds bro you're right George you're even in the video dude this truck door he's living in 2099 now he's watching a trailer Wikipedia built the biggest modern information hub you see nothing but nerds as needs to correct each other actually the use computers bro the recent sex with a vampire doesn't usually result in pregnancy is it because their sperm is dead it's because the vampire can't come inside without an invitation thank you for coming to my haunted talk me pays with credit card later no that wasn't married cash money of you yeah and I use my card it's important to beat rentable on your own skin because it's illegal away someone else's see I learned that the hard way and after I got out of prison boy did they set me straight the world's largest vacuum chamber featured a none other than our slash well that sucks and indeed it do with skeleton and without skeleton we're just a sack of meat you tell a lot about a woman's mood just by her hands for an example if she's holding a gun she's probably angry it's the worst day of my life nah this is the worst day of your life so far thanks oh man and before we end this video let's take a look at a post from our /mk by user alia the N demon fan r4 MK your videos never fail to make me smile oh thank you know that little guy I'm saying it a little guy that's me huh you got my eyebrow thickness just right I love them thank you so much that's gnarly it's sick and that brings us to the end of our slash technically the truth if you guys liked this video leave a like down below and subscribe for more content from MK and as always I'll be seeing ya [Music]

Channel: EmKay

Views: 1,942,576

Rating: 4.940959 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, r/technicallythetruth, r/technicallythetruth top posts, r/technicallythetruth best posts, technically the truth, r/technicallythetruth emkay, reddit funny, reddit truth, reddit jokes, reddit memes, reddit puns, emkay

Id: SFZ_HNv59_A

Length: 12min 18sec (738 seconds)

Published: Mon Oct 14 2019