r/Facepalm | INSOLENT PARASITE OF A CHILD

stabbing victim pulls knife out of own neck kills terrorists um I'm with the cat-like did he still die or did he just not die in the first place I'm so confused g'day everyone and welcome to maa the voice of Jack is back I'm giving my face up Rhys Mac in preparation for all the face palming we'll be doing today in us how this really hurts I'll slash face balm let's go you will hear from astronauts but not from space there is no such thing as space our sky or atmosphere just keeps going hmm explain the ISS Voyager 1 and 2 are the planets comets Hubble other galaxies explain fairies dragons magic etc I'm sure you get my point why explain something that ain't real this is why we need science at school so no one grows up just like this tool 65% of women cheat but 85% of the time it is the man's fault example women tend to cheat because they feel lonely for long periods of time in a relationship and so my lean on another man for support and accidentally have sex with them oh where to begin you can't accidentally sleep with someone talk to them if you feel like the relationship is distant just break it off and accept the fact that you relationship has come to an end blaming someone else for your bad actions is exactly why you don't deserve to be in a relationship excusing your lack of loyalty through your easily manipulative emotions does not excuse you from being a bad partner if you're a boy or girl or anything in between and you actually think like this you don't deserve to be in a relationship now look at that negative result well dunya green across the board hey great news I had diarrhea but now it's gonorrhea ha ha ha yeah I have gonorrhea what a great idea and you can keep the trucks running for warmth yes let's seal up and sleep in the area of the vehicle where the exhaust fumes come out kittens free to a good home appear to be part Siamese I think they're feral and abandoned by their mama they're a little bit bitey and scared they don't seem to purr oh this is Oh miss as bad as that time those people thought they had a dog but it was a bear which of these outfits would you wear one or one you can only choose one we can't do the other one I'm sorry we ran out of stock okay we ran out of stock selling dying light the following enhanced edition for ps4 only $36 u.s. Oh best offer here's a better offer pre-owned for 20 to 39 jenna fischer says young office fans often tell us she looks like an older version of Pam young is an age or young as in people who have only just started watching the show because I go ah or are either way the Black Plague disappeared without a vaccine just saying hashtag auntie VAX it killed one-third of Europe fun game but all ads are for sex I like the game but the ads are a bit much and long first one was lesbian sex then cheating sex then threesomes then more lesbian sex so that's the target demographic for the game I guess sex deprived lesbians but the colour scheme and font I am going to assume this is an adult site at least that's what my informant tells me oh look it's the five-year-old who's driving on the highway to buy a Lamborghini before I question how he got there in the first place what the heck is on his face guys hold on I'm literally in the middle of a mental breakdown I don't know what's happening to my life as of right now what happened what happened she said she doesn't know what's happening yeah maybe given the moment to breathe so they can collect their thoughts before just spamming what happens you learn something new every day just realize that these little bumps on the steering wheel are in Braille so that blind drivers have no trouble finding the horn to what other drivers when necessary and now say it together with me wait what here's an idea maybe it's for general drivers so they can feel it themselves as well without having to look down at the steering wheel of a mare try using a bit of logic it's amazing what it will do catch up with a classic Star Wars Galaxies of herpes you're positive I do not consent to 5g radiation I had a Facebook buddy unfriend me the other day for approving this stuff wrong also can we note how mutated that person looks what are they meant to show that that's what will turn into or that's what we're meant to be either way I think we all know that those 16,000 signatures are people who are using their mobile phone to microwaves and other products all the time let's read this literally know your rights stand up first they spilled no wrong then they use the wrong your and then they add an apostrophe unto rights and then so on makes it worse with the damn GI Joe from Chris Evans behind the scenes from the First Avenger BTS army please stop using BTS to gain likes on your photo also please stop using our BTS kpop name Chris Evans reply please stay away from this so friendly but also very intimidating yes this lady had a German sign saying work sets you free during her protest about there her freedom to work during this whole lockdown issue now apparently she was unaware that this was a sign that was at the front of every concentration camp in Nazi Germany nonetheless madam I give you a thick sloppy facepalm why the freak amende cal simplest thinks of this stuff miss feinstein was quite willing wearing the same dresses before she had obviously prepared herself understanding Arthur Brown she stuck her most sympathetic smile on her flesh-colored face you must tell me about yourself Arthur miss Feinstein said well I'm actually flush colored myself funny enough yeah we have a lot in common I bet you're at least partially accidentally vegan comment below BuzzFeed no harm in 1971 burglars broke into an FBI office by writing a note that said please don't lock this door tonight and plastering it onto the front door it worked and they stole several files hey I wonder if we can work a second time how do you even pronounce this how many solar radii is this how many solar ready read read I Radi only Americans know what real tacos are Mexicans don't even have real tacos because they are too poor to afford meat now why would you me goes to that huge line spotted in Spanish town turns out to be large dog with a strange haircut clearly someone was bored and wanted to freak out their neighbors how is it that you can get a colonoscopy let a dentist stick his hand in your mouth spit flying everywhere but you cannot get a haircut gee Karen oh my god her name is literally Karen maybe because those things are actual medical emergencies instead of your basic hairstyle bazooka among weapons found during raid and luxury condo near downtown Houston sir that's a shotgun I don't think anything that is natural can be bad for you hold my beer so does she know the poison exists like viruses in general like they are natural things food allergies I mean I could go for days auntie backs mom mom of three perfectly unvaccinated kids rest in peace Tommy love my essential oils hold up there is something wrong here so I first noticed the McDonald's ad in the background and my immediate thought was this was old french fries is actually sand that fell off a train as it went on the track but still god damn it no I feel like eating McDonald's to my blind followers yeah they're blind alright if they're following you with this kind of logic first time posting please be gentle oh you're on the internet now buddy they won't be how can I flip this image so my son is the camera I've tried using the flip canvas horizontal and also image invert but nothing seems to work please help we laugh at the absurdity of this now but I would not be surprised if in like twenty to fifty years we have technology that can do something like this I'm bilingual okay but your press buttons' in English well silly me thinking that an airline would adhere to social distancing guidelines currently aboard a nearly full American air flight and I've never felt less safe or cared for in my entire life yeah look I'm not surprised that crammed as many people in as possible to get extra money also which airline is actually good in America because I hear so many terrible stories but there was every single airline you guys have mean the boys fiving a I claim myself too in quarantine it's all youth oh that's the joke don't worry man I sold here a damn cake get the joke for ya set yogurt natural biotics zero sugar contains sugar did you know the soursop fruit is ten thousand times more effective against cancer than leading chemotherapy treatment I know you're lying because cancer isn't something you can kill by eating or drinking something police in Bulgaria used tear gas against protesters but forget the quinces blowing in their direction the protesters would have had a field day with that one gliding lizards miniature horse Japanese flying squid whoa hang on what are you serious Japanese flying squids are a thing I am NOT going swimming anymore in our / justice served boomer is now considered a derogatory slur and automatically removed due to the increasing use of this term in an offensive manner we have decided to automatically remove any future occurrence of the slur Wow Broome is getting some legs in the slow world I was going to say as boomers fault we're constantly making us use the word but I feel that just makes me the problem oh look at this poor blind man having to Braille on his smartphone like he can't even commit to it poop every other day to protect the environment Brazilian President has suggested people should poop every other day there's a way to save the planet I was gonna say he clearly pulled this out of his ass but it was an odd day so he couldn't do that Oh what are you doing man it's the other hole right there look it's right there attention don't drink water after eating fish because the water may cause the fish to swim and then you'll feel all in your stomach remember by the intensity of this tweet I feel like he's dealing with this right now imagine being Asian like for real stop lying I know Asian people don't exist I'm a purebred Texan I'm sorry I'm a purebred Texan and even I know Asia is a myth you've been weird girls need to stop pretending why is he even coming to this he looks like he's watching a video on how to make cake looking to purchase a kitten under $10 must be in mint condition I have a black baby looking for a kitten but thanks lul it is a kitten well I've got a kitten it's not mint condition mate but it is a glossy so you still worth 10 bucks ooh wish I'd selling a camera for $13 that's meant to be 4k but is actually HD 1080 whoa what a surprise do not steal is it worth losing your job I don't want to be seen walking around with terrible spelling let's join hands together to make our Hospital infection free no no no no no no no no don't no no no no no no what PR team would have approved this only claims he used to work 25 hours a day all my viewing of Kitchen Nightmares has taught me just to never go to any restaurant in America no you see the clear tape actually does work because you see if you yep if you put it on my daughter says the earth is flat daddy for the first time oh I wish we could call child protection services on conspiracy parents nature's to be enjoyed not destroyed mm-hmm yeah you've made a really good point Elon Musk tweet wipes 14 billion dollars off Tesla's value yeah it'll be back up in like a year yeah look at that high class security ain't gonna get anyone through that fence there's there's no way yeah there are 11 types of people those who understand binary and those who don't isn't that ten though $300 per child coming on mais child benefit check how about people who have a disability that prevents them from having kids what a jerk yeah you sure your bike secured man you wanna get a unit double check free America now if one day my words are against science choose science almost masterchief just following orders sir the Chiefs right though we're just following orders man what's worse the fact that someone left their sandals on the trolley or the fact that someone owns those sandals VR headsets are dying and lonely death stop saying virtual reality is dying they're like on the same website it's like they're bickering to a third friend well you tell Barry Collins this okay did I not get the game card from your party eight looks like an SD card not a game card help one of these things is not like the others one of these things you got scammed new updated universal Nvidia shield remote Cosby 71 49 so if you don't want to pay $60 this isn't for you meanwhile on the actual website oh look it's only $29.99 what newborn animals look like try not to say ah they are so obviously fake come on alright folks grab yourself an ice pack you're done for today's session thanks again for watching please like the video if you loved the content subscribe to my clinic ation bail so you can see more of our videos at chicka check out more videos if you want to as well my name is Jack you are beautiful for existing and I'll see you in the next video you

Channel: EmKay

Views: 589,723

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, reddit stories, ask reddit, funny reddit, emkay, memes, r/facepalm, r/facepalm top posts, r/facepalm best posts, facepalm, r/facepalm emkay, emkay facepalm, facepalm emkay, therewasanattempt, r/therewasanattempt, r/therewasanattempt emkay, therewasanattempt emkay, fails, reddit fails, epic fail, fail compilation

Id: m9vm2R4OsEQ

Length: 12min 20sec (740 seconds)

Published: Mon May 25 2020