r/Technicallythetruth | I DON'T BELIEVE YOU

these guys need to figure out if they want to be seen or not how's it going ladies and gentlemen welcome back to MK my name is Robyn and today I'm gonna be looking at our slash technically the truth where truth reigns supreme in the best possible way alright let's jump right into it hi James I like the picture of my wife and I but can you get rid of the other guy in the white hat please I love your work oh there we go he's gone that's a lovely picture now when I bake bread I give thousands of yeast organisms false hope by feeding them sugar before ruthlessly baking them to death in an oven and eating their corpses it's the most metal description for bread I've ever heard disinfecting pericles who died from the plague in 429 BC it's a little late now hey it's never too late to wash your hands did you know that there is more airplanes underwater than submarines in the sky huh that's a real thinker guys Confucius says by a man in airplane ticket and they fly once throw a man out of the airplane and they fly for the rest of their life okay don't let the video fool you seals are dangerous I heard a group of them killed bin Laden oh grown man grown if you had one week left to live what would you do live for one week oh you stinker transaction is canceled for some reasons that all righty then The Wizard of Oz transported to a surreal landscape a young girl kills the first person she meets and then teams up with three strangers to kill again then what's up with all these hardcore descriptions of stuff looking up references for not-safe-for-work drawings google image searches woman writing man that's exactly what we all needed my friend please do not open with a knife not well P listened but that's fair wanna see me look like a snack yes please I'm a sundae wait that you're in a cone no you cannot recite the digits of pi backwards ears Cheney up in or Rufina event bend or draw listen here you little what's the best estimate for the length of a football one foot four feet five feet or eight feet one football if you had one lasagna and you put it on top of another lasagna you'd still only have one lasagna that's true but the second one would be vastly superior a good dye manufacturer puts dye in your dye so when your dye dies you have a new dye I wish that worked with people it does try to kill a 9-month pregnant woman do know what gets me wet waters yep that's yep it does that your wife says you never buy your flowers is that true to be honest I never knew she sold flowers it's technically the truth Oh people are dying who have never died before Donald J Trump March 18th 2020 I guess George Washington died in 1799 the first dinosaur fossil was discovered in 1824 George Washington never knew dinosaurs existed well the dinosaur didn't know George Washington existed either that's fair i see a little silhouetto of a man on my shirt on my shirt and he's holding a mango yeah the vastly superior version of the song I like that this unit will be out of service until we fix it okay yeah that's totally fair see you later is there anything worse than stepping on a lego in the middle of the night a landmine he's right you know I know this is way off sneaker topic but I know this is a group full of a lot of talented people can someone put wings on this picture this isn't a joking matter well it is now dude ah yes I understand some of these symbols and it oh it craps out the anarchy symbol ain't that just adorable they think they're anarchists I spent all my money Troy you can't bring that in here yes I can it's all-terrain dummy still one of the best TV characters of all time I think I want to get in shape dad round is a shape you were the biggest mistake of my freakin life oh oh okay that's fine quick well everything is shut down paved the freaking roads we need people to pave them though just use asphalt instead I what well that looks real weird a platypus can produce both eggs and milk which makes them a walking omelet dispenser full best superhero ever parents of toddlers keep your child amused and challenged during quarantine with this Peppa Pig jigsaw oh well what a novel idea good grief that's what the Bible has taught us all along Jesus is the only way to heaven and you will never need a middleman isn't Jesus a middleman by definition yeah yeah he literally was wasn't he Russia is located in Russia well yes they say it's a mystery how the pyramids were built but I reckon they just started at the bottom and work their way up let's face it this looks a lot more difficult it looks a lot more difficult but you know those aliens built it like that just to screw with us you want a box for those sir now I hate violence is it cool if I just pay with my card oh man me writing an email I'm using an exclamation point so you know that I'm friendly and excited but now I'm using a period so that you know that I'm not crazy here's another sentence with a period as a buffer proving my normalness thanks so much man that really does hit home I have decided on a new constellation I call it the bees if you look up at the night sky and see all those sparkly dots congratulations you see the bees I've just made astrology ten thousand times easier you're welcome those born under the sign of the bees have emotions think thoughts is likely introverted or extroverted has at least a few friends and was born at some point you know I think that's actually my sign high school is easy it's like riding a bike and the bike is on fire and the ground is on fire and everything is on fire because your inhale is absolutely right John booth I recognize that name the person that made Abraham Lincoln open-minded Oh yikes the a 3000 3d printer uh-huh I hate to be the one to tell you this Jerry but I think you've been ripped up get it because there's 3ds you guys get it have you ever seen a homo sapien yeah I saw one once at the zoo I mean there's probably quite a few at the zoo all the time send me your pick in a bra please she she did what she was a lasagna is just spaghetti flavored cake it cost you zero dollars to not say that but you did and it took a few years of my life it would have cost me much more to not say anything no it wouldn't have need wouldn't've at the age of sixty snoop dogg will be 420 in dog years Girl Scouts is just a cookie company that gets away with free child labor a lethal dose is also a lifetime supply stop stop it's too much my concerned friend food won't fill that void in your heart meet a person of science oh that's not a void you want to fill though cannot ah China may be using the sea to hide its submarines fools fun fact there are more planes in the ocean than boats in the sky hey wait a minute is Nick cute when you find a cat resting on the roof of your car oh ha oh that's an insurance nightmare in 1665 the University of Cambridge temporarily closed due to the bubonic plague Isaac Newton had to work from home and he used this time to develop calculus and the theory of gravity so if you are shut down and sent home beat like Isaac do something productive Newton didn't have Dark Souls 3 with DLC Oh oh he's right he's so right I was asleep one night and woke up really having to poo while I was pooping an earthquake hit and my dresser fell onto my bed where I would have been sleeping don't know if I would have died necessarily but that gut feeling definitely saved me always listen to your gut especially when it's telling you to poop well you know what they say - time flies one time I went to hand someone a bowl of hot soup and my brain tried to say careful it's hot and here's your soup so instead I blurted out careful it's soap a man in this day and age you never know you probably saved that person's life they might have been allergic to the smoke spaceship design when building a spaceship the tiniest details are crucial for example this spaceship may be flawed because it has a giant hole in the side AIESEC Newton died a virgin which means I have a one-up on history's greatest scientific genius because I'm not dead ah he died of natural causes you pushed him off a roof gravity is natural now well you're free to go that is 100% accurate ma'am if every human alive right now was piled into the Grand Canyon what's happening I'm in this photo and I don't like it I mean I'm minutes and I like it this is my moment to shine my dog it's me who has to go to work you stay I go No following by the way this film is called the Iron Giant this film is incredible no it's the Iron Giant no this is Patrick my wife is going into labor what should I do is this her first child no this is her husband no this is Patrick this is the best way to spot a trans person while working out of the gym with your transgender friend as they begin to benchpress an amount of weight they may not be comfortable with stand with your feet shoulder-width apart knees slightly bent behind the bench and place both hands evenly beneath the bar of the weight keeping your hands below the bar as they complete their reps if it appears that they are about to lose control of the weight or are in any danger catch the bar and a system and placing it back on the stand you win this round cheese actually that is a rectangle cheese shut up my son asked me what dark humor was I told him you see that guy over there without hands ask him to clap my son replied dad you know I'm blind I said exactly technically any humor the kid has known as dark humor American Girl releases their first doll with hearing loss wait the other ones can hear us thank you my French friend I call that mercy you mean math see Hey look an alien well this is my planet so you're the freaking alien here he's got a point can you grab a card on the way home my co-workers mom just died sure here you go Elle is wrong with you nothing daughter rides mom while son motorboats now it's that image again okay no okay okay you good yeah why what's up I thought I heard something loud drop that was my shirt your shirt fell and made that noise well yeah I was inside of it it's hard to argue with his assessment but boy oh boy would it still be fun to regardless wow that's all I've got for you today folks always remember if you enjoyed this video hit that like button and if you really enjoyed it hit that subscribe button and little bell icon and until next we look at the truth of the world and I'll be seeing you [Music]

Channel: EmKay

Views: 2,745,553

Rating: 4.9392729 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, reddit stories, ask reddit, funny reddit, emkay, memes, r/technicallythetruth, r/technicallythetruth emkay, technicallythetruth, technicallythetruth emkay, reddit truth, truth, reddit puns, dad jokes, puns, emkay technicallythetruth

Id: CGXU22r3jpU

Length: 10min 55sec (655 seconds)

Published: Sun Apr 19 2020