r/Roastme | oh... oh no

[Music] what's up guys and welcome back to ma my name is Damian and let's turn up the flames cuz we're going back to our slash roast meet autistic female community college student who is proud to sport a unibrow I'm not scared of your roasts I've seen this girl pop up before so I'm you see what everyone had to say about her she used to have two eyebrows but she shaves a top one off classic I've seen that pop around and look at that 6.9 69 nice what was it like discovering fire hot I promise we're more scared of you than you are of us Hey look at that it's mono Lisa did you guys hear that I heard the gods reading that one where have you been living since notre-dame burned down you look like if Edie from edit and he was a female how does someone with a unibrow so thick also have a receding hairline bro the thunder is gnarly today actually I had bangs before puberty hit so I decided to grow the mountain show my forehead more who lost the only bangs you'll ever get I see why your parents fed you with a slingshot their aim must be amazing considering the fact that it must fit through the bars of her cage as well that's a pretty worthy title you could have just said hey you guys Community College good fire bad 19 year old French aspiring sound engineer whoever thinks every bit of criticism have fun I've seen livelier expressions from a morgue sort of like a dead coke addict with a wig on also kind of sort of like Emily but she went downhill and died of a heroin overdose how is the sketch of you more appealing than the real you the sketch Buster buyer are the most depressing one-two punch I've seen in some time huh I guess Notre Dame is only the second we're staying too habit of France this year hey don't feel too bad at least Notre Dame can be fixed you look like a depressed time traveler from the 1940s that sounds quite nice actually you look like you've been crying have a cold have no air conditioning are slathered in Vaseline and just started feeling the drainage of the back here throat from whatever you've been snorting a week you look like the female version of a dude who goes to open houses to steal women's underwear the dude who still insists on getting his porn from the video store because the internet lacks that personal element you look like the mcpoyle brother who discovered Instagram and so put that through Ubu translator and you know I'm gonna read it you look like you've been crying have a code have no air conditioning us I sweated in Vaseline and just started feeling the Dwain it's at the back of your throat from whatever you've been snorting all week you were quite the female version of a doodle goes to open houses to steal women's underwear the dude who story cysts are getting his poem from the video store because the internet wax that personal element you were quite the mcpoyle boa who discovered it's the gram Oh pairs like a Spanish conquistador from the 1700s that's what I was going for yeah you succeeded listens to Joe G but doesn't know filthy Frank yeah kind of a Miss Amy trap house holy crap up keeping that name thank you keeping your armpits unshaven doesn't make you French Frick sound engineering is a great choice for you you have a face perfect for radio felt cute might delete later I don't know Oh bro already we got four nine in the backyard let's see when he comes again about fortnight you trying to contact with him antennas he's dead that would clone this man but his barber already did mom hahahaha one black guy to another fix your hairline I know you're trying to match a hairline shape to the ship your eyebrows but bro you are embarrassing us this one hurt the most and look at Denzel Korea's autistic brother Darius paprika I loved you a good burger you look like the upload for tonight highlights to a community of 25 subscribers there it is there's the fortnight reference got it you look like a bacteria is that point zero one percent the hand sanitiser couldn't get you look like a goblin lives in a fanny pack stealing the wheat of bad children who disobey their parents a weed Hobgoblin you look like a budget version of ASAP Rocky ASAP pebble a cent he said but it's a cent I like that must feel odd holding a son I'm not having to turn to the left for once oh oh my god what's odd is I'm holding one without an empty hat do your worst I am a doctor I've seen everything how horrible for your patients that the first thing they see after getting clear vision is your face they bold you to assume as patients we get a clearer vision after he treats them but doc why are using a rag and a bottle of chloroform to dilate my eyes because I'm about to die lights up melts your passable handwriting makes me seriously doubt your capabilities as a doctor I actually had a technician write it for me because I can't write for crap seen everything except Bob's in vagine or his wife's I bet you tell everyone on the phone your name is Bill I've never seen this part of the convenience store hey that's the only optometrist to pursue a 9/11 vision hi I'm doctor about what my patients call me a bad doctor you look like you get a sadistic satisfaction from giving children eyedrops can you blind me so I don't need to see you ever again it's worthless on our slice roast me dude it's absolutely ruthless toast me bro please avoid fat jokes unless they're original I've heard them all roast me and she's holding in her mouth ain't that cute all right let's read the roasts never asked a prom where's a prom dress for every outing to Walmart it looks like you were poured into your bra and forgot to say when I bet you tits would be out of the picture if it wasn't for that bra leaves move to the middle of the trailer before it flips over you look like you've been cast as Ursula and Chyna's knockout version of The Little Mermaid remake I would genuinely want that role I get that you clearly love grease but you don't have to use it as a shampoo you're disgusting the children you're the embodiment of a Walmart Supercenter Eric Cartman after the sex change okay that's like a that's a decent six there should be a reality show where each week the FBI lifts a dirty fingerprint off your chest and then solves a cold case [Laughter] CSI suicide unit honey MooMoo I like that one I'm moving to Italy in a month and scared out of my mind give me something to distract me okay all right got a couple of rings on some glasses okay if I'm gonna pick something to make fun I'm gonna say it's either the chin or the eyebrows a man that knocks off sorry who's Amanda Knox don't get it that's good oh here's something on the eyebrows your eyebrows look like Italian mustache signor a mustache you who does your eyebrows don't bother learning Italian just to have people read the Braille on your forehead wash me it's very faint but I see what they're talking about anyone notice that the first round around Jesus hey buddy nails a little more wood yeah maybe that'll distract him oh that one hit deep man how many days have you been awake too many my dude Italy should be scared not you if I was Liam Neeson I wouldn't come searching for you neither would the kidnappers looks like your foreheads made a sand paper oh that's rough yeah that's sandpaper bye Italy you clearly mean Olive Garden moving to Italy you mean studying in a safe easy program where you won't actually have to deal with living to Italian well could chew it into the stereotype that American women are easy so I don't I don't think that's a roast that was mean-spirited genuinely that wasn't good natured at all I can only assume this is some part of a zoo exchange program like how the China gifted the us some pandas now the u.s. is giving Italy a rare breed of chimpanzee my GF broke out with me last night and I feel nothing now I need to be put down by you good people throw your hair it's coming out and the hairline is going down first there it is first post are you were in a wig made of her drain hair or something generally the eggs goes on top of the ramen not the other way around he didn't know it's okay question about the pubes glued to your head is that from just one did you have to collect them from multiple sources yo for real man your hair looks really bad like god-awful I'm not even roasting you right now I'm letting you know man to man you really need to fix your hair at least shave your head don't look better than the broccoli cut out you got going on now if it makes you feel any better she didn't feel anything either I see Scott tenorman tricky into buying his pubes again the fact that you managed to get a girlfriend looking like that is a great confidence boost it looked like Sid from Ice Age and I imagine if I heard your voice it would give me a yeast infection hey maybe she'd take you back he took the dead squirrel off your head not Giri he's my friend with a haircut like that I don't blame him it was like all about his hair my dudes ones about my poor guys hey I grew my hair out for two years for this moment don't let me down another one about hair let's go he's got a pimple right in the middle of his forehead you see that slum duh Slumdog Millionaire is nice you hear reminds me of Rapunzel except you with you you're not just letting your hair down you're letting your friends and loved ones down as well thanks Rapunzel you look like you steal scrap metal and iron for a living we're at all yang kissing if Jack Sparrow was from Bangladesh get a load of this guy how much longer are you planning on not getting laid yank like I have a choice in the matter his name is the gang latesh I love that when you go to the airport all the TSA agents get aroused aroused like sexually doubtful the only fingering the agents will be doing is frantically fingering the 9-1-1 button at their desk you wasted two years hey my mom says I wasted 21 just being alive don't worry buddy nice hair but we still hate you for what you did to a lot a good thing arranged marriage is your fate those packed some punches those are zingers but that brings us at the end of our slush roast me if you enjoyed the video leave a like down below and subscribe for more content for man K just come on now yeah ba gallon I wonder uh would be funny to put my own picture on roast me and then do a video on that how would that go you think that'd be funny and as always I'll be seeing [Music]

Channel: EmKay

Views: 2,713,842

Rating: 4.936512 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, r/roastme, r/roastme top posts, r/roastme best posts, roast me, reddit roast me, roast me funny, r/roastme emkay, reddit funny, emkay

Id: 1tBdEZlQd5E

Length: 11min 22sec (682 seconds)

Published: Mon Aug 12 2019