r/Madlads | THE ABSOLUTE MAD LAD

I'm in my bed hey dude same what's up guys and welcome back to MA my name is Damien and today we're looking through our slash mad lands guy named Joe tells Elon that the Tesla autopilot chimes are too loud and waking up his baby Tesla honors Joe's request and makes a new setting that lowers alert volume Tesla names at Joe mode good old Elon I left the Google review with the storage internet saying it's very clean aren't you like not allowed to do that or is it business owners not being allowed to do that it's something like that I turn hot walk walk hot walk god I'm so dyslexic I turn a hot dog water into ice cubes for guests that I don't like you're a cruel house party host sorry that took suffer to get out I'm just stuck in on you watching you pour the water into an ice cube trays I'm gonna bring my own ice next time my teacher is asking kids did you get anything for Valentine's Day the kid says no she puts candy on their desk when she got to me she didn't even ask she just put it on my desk I know you didn't get nothing Samantha here you go my annoying landlord I pay this dude 1,800 bucks every freaking month and all she do is complain about his making too much noise walking around so I bought a dog whistle blow at all hours of the day and night now I complained about how much her dog barks and keeps me out that is the ultimate penny move and I applaud you I do too till they find the dog whistle Mary Kay who email you when you blog him fellas marry a woman that doesn't play these kinds of games well yeah so she very relationships just that for fun I'm here to communicate with you I don't want to like have to after we're dating you have to like fight to chitchat with you now no it's not fun let me be cute and take you out to stuff they'll be like nah picture an Arkansas woman 38 where his bag of meth is a bow in her hair well from authorities convincing decided it will no longer be paying taxes what is he gonna do tax me more go ahead I won't pay those either oh I'm going for prison the one paid for by my tax dollars sorry didn't pay him now there's no prison I am at least three steps ahead of the government at all times Braden I want elect you for 2020 calling teachers by their first names okay so I never understood the whole like can why this is such a like extreme thing for some teachers I went to I was home-schooled boss we had an external building that you could go to was online school and they had an actual physical building for tests and stuff and there were a good few teachers that I would just call by their first name and they were super chill with it maybe it's just each person I don't know Q though the history teacher loved that guy a Chinese farmer who quit school and third grade spent 16 years teaching himself law to sue a chemical company for polluting his village Wang and Lin couldn't afford to buy all the law books he studied at a local bookstore so he paid the store in bags of corn to let him sit and read copied all the information by hand and learned what he could with the help of a dictionary he won the case in 2017 what a madman that is it that is far from a mad lad that is a hero I love this guy that is determination in spiked catch me if you can man who led police on a two-hour chase through a corn maze was finally arrested just hide in the corn bro do you really there's a clear path of corn that you can adjust hide and snuck through light run through the maze right and then just disappear into the corn at some point and they wouldn't know they'd have no idea call a little punk stealing out of a gas station earlier today and I told them put it back don't do that little homie it's a better way he doesn't need a little guidance so I said come ride with me took him to Walmart and told him it's more room in here this were asti let's get it mom man teaching them the way I'm pretending to be a hot girl on tinder so I can match with my roommate until I'm coming over so they'll clean the apartment brother that is 200 IQ the bot will now automatically report comments containing kill yourself how about you commit death yourself to elderly dudes escaped a nursing home and went to a heavy metal concert you're really moshing I love them this student where says it's Tuesday shirt to school every Wednesday Nord I thoroughly confuse the rest of the school I'm gonna wear shirts for every day of the week like that it's Wednesday it's Thursday did didn't it go back copyright strike the freaking president as good as a look at this photograph but dick Lee bad copy I didn't do it don't my wife asked me to help decorate the cookies for a sister's baby shower and then just as quickly asked me to please stop helping well you did fine so what in my class is a presentation of why another student is a communist why Quinlin blank is a secret Russian spy I would sit down and listen to it even if I was the student life hack what impossible goals on your bucket list so you never be able to complete your bucket list so you'll never die I'll take that into account ha ha ha silver gold and platinum for a comment I need a book that happened to me god dammit give me a few hours gotta find a book to eat alright it's done [Music] [Music] [Music] stop disliking my videos that's a weird camera angle dude you good Disneyland's first-ever customer has been using his lifetime ticket every year since 1955 that's adorable bro oh that's so cute is that real I hope that's real that's awesome I just convinced my mate that the inside of a cheese grater is in fact a stick new night club trippy as hell where is it oh it's shortage shall we go oh yes please imagine being on GMT in that gap probably freak out oh dude I reckon you have a great time great if you know the name your dog after the last thing you ate what would they be called apple-pie dog fine my own renamed Publix hot wings unbranded someone keeps doing this in my neighbors water tank and he keeps painting over and it never ends gamer gets doom running on a McDonald's cash register he's an elite hacker it's what he does man just don't don't but dump him no mind dozens of people along the west coast report finding us be message in a bottle contains a single photo of a man in Halloween costume exposing himself how'd they get my USB Drive I was a private picture what's the craziest excuse you old man ever told you for not coming home at night you said he was cleaning his house and mouthed himself into a corner he had a way for the floors to dry and fell asleep it's the man who prides himself on clean floors mom please behave while I'm gone me now you see this after 8:00 today I had 800 milligrams of caffeine exercise for two hours eight literally a tea pizza rolls and did a face mask the line between self care and self-destruction is a fine one but God do I walk it hard brother I have to tell you something that will lower your entire opinion of me when I was 12 I made flyers for my fan fiction and I handed them out of the train station you're hustling dude there's nothing wrong with that Jeff Goldblum likes it when fans call him daddy you're opening up Pandora's box Jeff does that look like a man who's afraid of the contents nah I'll call him daddy as long as he calls me daddy - Jeff Jeff Goldblum specifically in particularly Jeff Goldblum's all I need a man hurled racist slurs and a punch at a FedEx driver then died after he was plunged back damn he sent him to God same-day shipping high school teachers your college brush your college professors won't be nearly as laid-back as I am Mike Ilitch professor dear students while grading your notebooks and eating trail mix a catastrophe occurred much AMEX ended up all over the floor in your notebooks there may be particulates of said trail mix left if any of you have a severe peanut / tree-nut allergy please contact me so I know how to thoroughly decontaminate your notebook sorry for the inconvenience PS if you feel like it - bring your pen to class thanks to each disabled woman has told she's too ugly to post pictures fights back with selfies there you go that's that self-confidence grind I love it boy 9 takes wrong turn on the 5k race wins 10k race instead that's talent that's a prodigy as a future running be the best runner in the wild wild west I'm trying to revise but instead I decided to see how many pens I can hold up my head and the answer is 7 14 21 idiot 26 dunce 50 motherfrickin 1 what is that part blurry why can't I see it 70 forget for one freaking hundred my boyfriend spent an hour looking for this loud frog outside in a puddle when he finally caught him and I took a pic of both of them and he literally said a whole piece so I was at Wollman earlier a lady was looking at frozen turkeys but she couldn't find one big enough she asked the stock boy at least honkies get any bigger he replied with a straight face no ma'am they're dead he's not wrong if you screwed up in school you had to meet the teacher after class screw-up more and you had to meet with the principal in 2004 I used this strategy to go all the way up the chain of command and meet george w bush from now on I'm telling jobs that was the general manager at Toys R Us what the hell did gone call John a Toys German soldiers lighting a cigarette with a flamethrower I mean hey that's one way to light a dart brother it's one way to do it cats need glucose drip after mating with five females in a single night what a madman I love him this tiny caterpillar I get bloody noses a lot and I can usually feel it about 30 seconds before it starts dripping today in class my nose started to bleed but right before I turn this very religious boy who sits next to be in whispered how Satan as my nose started to drip he freaked Phil back and hit his head he had to go home for the rest of the day eventually there will be so many human beings I having an original thought be the equivalent to winning the lottery you appeared to have submitted a common or unoriginal thought as such it has been automatically removed leaving girls on red is funny because it must really suck to be left on red by a guy that's 5 foot 7 has no friends or ambition whatsoever had a 2.6 GPA in Community College and the closest thing to a hobby he has a sweet mean let's craft followers that don't care are you okay you all right bro true story I'm flying right now but through Wi-Fi in an app on my phone I'm Hawking the horn on my car back home to annoy my family how beautiful it is to find someone who asks for nothing but your company give me your company that's beautiful Pepsi you might as well take it but man fired from job keeps turning up and getting paid for four more years how do you not notice that hey didn't we let this guy go yeah buddy keep showing up if someone try to make me dig my own grave I would say no they're gonna kill me anyway and I'd love to die the way I lived avoiding manual labor dude I love going into the bathroom holding down the talk button on my radio and letting all the workers in the store hear me piss if you're ready username would predict the way you die how will I happen well I'd be alright names lives hey Mamma Mia four five dunno one we thought you might like the arse Elijah I'm a total piece of crap community you're welcome this kid's been T posing and making the microwave sound for around 25 minutes until the teacher yelled at him to stop today I waited on three ten-year-old boys the orders three virgin pina coladas and when I asked if they wanted food they told me now it's just a chips and drinks kind of day and then they took me 11 dollars on top of their 11 dollar check I like those kids they're going somewhere they're like an old group of friends already they're like old men like a group of old dudes who left the retirement home for a party but they're like let's get some drinks and chips I wish I had a group for friends like that gave my new boyfriend a key to my apartment he hung hot dogs from the ceiling in every room while I was at work if I ever quit my last tweet is just gonna be next tweet just to piss everyone off Dutch farmers fed up with getting blamed for carbon emissions and being taxed to their butts so he decided to storm the hague today ten thousand tractors descending along the roads the woods and beaches it's not on the news go get em boys one time I was late to practice and the coach made me run laps my dad was the coach he drove me to practice Supermarket employees pranked [ __ ] who parked car and shopping cart section nice prank this guy had the best Halloween party costume he was the fire wait was he oh my god he was pay me to do nothing he's got music out and he's getting paid look at you Luther Oh apparently I need your permission to have this bank card help a guy out permission granted most people that say they don't like reading probably spent all day on their phone reading my ex-wife always said she hated reading luckily for me she didn't read our prenup and when that idiot cheated on me with my Barbara ended up with full custody of our guinea pig my dad never asks for his picture to be taken then today he asks first pic and does the most extra dad thing ever he's cheap posing to spell Thornton I want a quarter pound there was no fresh onion no ketchup no mustard no pickles cheese beef patty or bun all right so what I want I'll pay three bucks 19 for it so Kyle's ordering actually nothing homeless man starts company becomes rich and hires only other homeless people I like that that's cute in sixth grade art class this kid named Richie was doing the self-portrait assignment and the art teacher tell him the draws eyebrows and he was like but I don't have any and he lived at his Beiber bangs to reveal yet none cuz the day before he shaved him for 20 bucks what a madman a hitchhiking robot that relies only on the kindness of strangers to travel across the world made it safely across Canada Germany in the Netherlands within the first two weeks of the American tour it was found with its arms and head ripped off Oh Mike haha so I'm giving out rotisserie chickens to trick-or-treaters tonight hey who the hell gave my brother rotisserie chicken when he went trick-or-treating don't quote me boy cuz I ain't say anything don't quote me boy because I said anything eazy-e ten million dollars for a god Jesus and Satan signed Bible for sale ten million dollars or best offer rarest signatures ever God Jesus and Satan stay cool John God have a good summer Jesus always nice to meet a fan you're the ones who keep me going see my high school had a ten dollar fine for swearing on campus one time the kid was caught saying crap during gym and the principal told him to pay up he have a 20 and said to keep the freaking change love them but why is there fine for that I - I would not do that at all you kidding me no way Jose wouldn't do that at all when we were little my parents threw us an Nye party but set all the clocks forward so he thought it was midnight at 8:00 he put us to bed brought in the babysitter and went out for the night this is the third parent I aspire to be I tweeted this kid for having unauthorized merch and then he screenshotted it and put it on a shirt dude I can't believe they're all that crap they back together whoo my butt stupid I posted this on my story and the guy ended up finding my snapchat somehow and sent me this oh my god guy in the back is shook I'm shook all right I've had enough today I start my war against brain twitter every brand tweet will have this in the replies you'll put it there these social media interns will get with the deserve shut up brand shut up Carson hi Carson oh I hope you're having a lovely day Carson I have nothing else to say - sorry long person who the hell is the right person I'm sorry I had to see that side of me no no who the hell's the right person spice up any Facebook comment with random quotation marks Congrats on your baby Congrats on your baby Congrats on your baby public service announcement for men boxers are not shorts you cannot wear them outside hey don't tell us what to wear teach the girls not to stare I wrote the URL do this on every whiteboard in my school he recalled the whole school you can I eat food with water in its name as affect your life easy it translate the language of the needed on the knower of some things a foreign language is one of them has anyone found that Easter egg in your Tesla which releases Cthulhu our Dark Lord it's our update now let's feature a post from our /mk by user accurate underscore idiot spooky fan art for mk ok works for the bourgeoisie how dare you admit that how dare you tell them that that was a secret that I told you in confidence thank you so much I love it and that brings us to the end of our slash man labs if you liked the video leave a like down below and subscribe for more content from MK and as always I'll be seeing you [Music]

Channel: EmKay

Views: 5,129,206

Rating: 4.9385266 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, r/madlads, r/madlads top posts, r/madlads best posts, mad lads, reddit mad, reddit insane, reddit prank, reddit crazy, pranks, r/madlads emkay, reddit funny, emkay

Id: dbHzaXVlRTU

Length: 14min 52sec (892 seconds)

Published: Sat Oct 12 2019