r/Madlads | STOP THIS MAN

so there's a four foot tall wineglass at Costco don't you frickin dare mistakes were made [Music] what's up guys and welcome back to ma my name is Damien and today we're looking through our slash mad lands the average teacher in the United States makes fifty eight thousand three hundred and fifty three dollars a year this is a disgrace under my administration we will bump that up to 69 thousand four hundred and twenty eight dollars a year oh yeah ASA Watkins he's got my vote kay more Prez for twenty twenty baby today the student debt crisis reached 1 billion six hundred fifty foot wait that's trillion holy today the student debt crisis reached one trillion six hundred fifty four billion seven hundred ninety two million four hundred forty eight thousand and eight hundred and fifty five dollars just made a payment so it should have dropped by two hundred seventy five dollars crisis averted he stopped student debt they'll be right in Simon's name in the streets two seven five Simon will be his name ed sheeran got sick of his neighbor's moaning so we just bought their houses ed Sheeran and his lazy I bought that house during the area 51 rate I'm gonna wear a t-shirt with a URL on it so the guards look it up after we all die over call the military after I'm dead that's like Louisville ten mad lot that's some curtains catastrophic really it's names cryptic for a reason is that some cryptic message he leaves after death what's the most rebellious thing you did as a kid as a kid alright reply to my dad's face about having a school project on the solar system I even made up a deadline so we'd had plenty of time but I just wanted to make something with him not sure why I lied it's kind of sad really I'm leaving YouTube for two years two years later he comes back to YouTube after two years he kept his word he kept his word and lucky smees real happy about it maybe had a little bit of burnout Murphy's law states that the best way to get the right answer on the internet is to not ask a question it's supposed the wrong answer what are some examples where you applied this law that's Cunningham's law not Murphy's Law Murphy's Law is anything that can go wrong will go wrong oh I see what you did right okay David Dunn Ellie more like David dummy ask a guy who works at McDonald's anything what do you work McDonald's four-year-old can I have some of your candy wife I got this for Mother's Day you're only a mom because of me why you bowing me I'm right I was arguing with my husband and my son screamed yay two Christmases from the other room text on bag reads as this text has no other purpose and then terrify those who are afraid of the Arabic language sometimes when my girl makes me mad I upload pictures with our forehead edited to be slightly bigger my baby look like mega mom but that's okay that's okay professor your formula sheet has to be one-sided oh I hate that oh I like that shape it's like one endless loop but it's all once that's the worst who let him do that just let me pass the test of the sheer impressive skill alone five guys nah hold that phone up five days got him got him good our slash roast me this could be the poster of an attack campaign I just proved it can't sir an eight-year-old girl was screaming at the grocery store because their dad when I buy our chocolate bars so I bought one and ate it in front of her it's just cruel you're a bully just a mean person blocked my number bra dare you how many phones this man's guy he got three six nine twelve man's got at least 25 26 phones and you're paying a monthly bill for all of them how much money you making pair of that persistent kind of money you have 26 bones there's an unsecured iHome speaker within Bluetooth range of my new apartment you already know what I just did here ich roll them that's unforgiveable Logan's around 22 buying every seat at a sad movie so no one will see me cry I wish I had that kind of money I would have bought every seat I went to go watch daddy's home - in theaters and I wish I got a bought out the entire theater so no one could have seen me laugh at that movie I just saw dad in cargo shorts on a riding mower shoot some finger pistols at another dad on a riding mower what a fricking Power Move it's kind of dad I'd beat except they'd be riding two riding mowers foot one foot per riding mower I'd be like jean-claude van damme except jean-claude van dad want to be this clean get pressure cleansed this freakin guys try to clean the exit ramp to advertise and pressure cleaned out his number I ain't even mad at him for it honestly that's pretty that's some pretty solid marketing though I cannot be mad at that one time I made my therapist cry lmao didn't you go to school for this coward didn't you go to school for this my three year old asked me how long he had to wait until he could stop listening to me I told him he had to listen to me for the rest of his life he looked me dead in the eyes and said I listened to you for the rest of your life toddlers are cold-blooded man it will be a lot harder for kids to win against their parents in video games in the future yeah my parenthood goals the stade just good enough for the latest game so that I can beat my kids at the latest game and then go victory screw them mom I admire this guy that's a that's a power statement if I've ever seen one hey Jimmy you playing the four at nine see I get dunked on kid watch me create my 90s I'm gonna go crank your mom my dad brought me home McDonald's god bless his soul my dad died let me dance for you I'm gonna eat my Nucky's in peace now Cole go think about your dead dad somewhere else grandmother tricks speeding drivers by pointing her hair dryer at them she's too dangerous to be kept alive quarantine er do it mace windu quarantine er like if you have a big P my man edited the comment or three point three K likes to say like if you have a small in case you haven't noticed you've fallen right into my trap Elmo doesn't care if you're white Elmo doesn't care if you're black Elmo doesn't care about anybody's skin colour you all taste the same Omo I don't like this statement Elmo yes something we'll talk about we're story where's the fish where's your Dorothy fish who is she death row inmates an entire Bible as I'm gonna read that again because that caught me off guard death row inmate eats and I'm reading this write an entire Bible and it's his last meal if you clean to be metal and you're not this guy then you're just a poser I mean yeah I don't see how you give your metal than that this man was on death row he's gonna go get take it out and put into the next realm and he goes bring me a Bible sir it's your last meal I stutter bring me the Word of God and I will crunch on it like breakfast guys guys I need to get my license ASAP I was on the train back from Stratford and this guy next to me got a call from his ex while my daughter was crying how can you say I told you stop calling me I've got a family now can I hear my daughter crying damn that's that's a smooth move this girl thinks I'm gonna chase her she doesn't know there's local mills that want to screw me right now on pub score I just get in and my credit card information my social security number and my mother's maiden name as the oldest brother I've mastered the art of faking my dad's footsteps just to mess with my siblings he is too dangerous to be kept alive now this is an Avenger level threat Peter Dinklage is on the calendar for February shortest one thing you selected me this will not be forgotten what's something that you act like you dislike what you secretly really like I knew a guy with a huge foot fetish that would tell people he had a fear of feet just so girls would try to scare him with their feet did you mean Dan Schneider that is something about that's really creepy I'm not even gonna front some about that is really gross no I'm scared of feet but in his head he's like hey bring on the toes I don't like that let's follow my wife until she yells at me we have almost 400 people watching you live follow your wife until she yells at you seems less something I do Jeff created a group Frick Jeff added you you're now an admin Jeff left because it says Frick you Jeff you're a solid man you get exactly what you want to say in the most clever way possible we love you I'm buying a dollar store skeleton in a shallow grave on wait hold on one more time one more time Damien you can do this this is an easy sentence this is easy sentence no problem I'm burying a dollar store skeleton in a shallow grave under my new deck should be funny in 30-some years or the next guys rebuilding it the Fox that killed like 30 of our chickens just said to go to the front yard and take a nap he just had a long day don't worry about a thing is easy killing all those chickens I bet it's not I bet it's not the lionfish is destroying the Florida coast now they're learning to fear the Glock extreme outdoorsmen introduces invasive lionfish to a Glock 17 that man is tatted to some biker just donned scuba gear and went to go shoot up some lionfish course that's Florida how's life baby gorilla that baby girl ash screw it Marty in the deep end how's life my Harambee 6970 followers I'm gonna have to block one yeah who's it gonna be any volunteers can you seriously grow up 6969 followers I quit today hey I'm quitting how come I just don't really like you guys no more I got a new job also so each job requires a two-week notice this is extremely unprofessional on your part good luck each job require STFU you lucky you've got a text the hell I can't even complain I quit my my job at a very unprofessional way if you were suddenly immortal could feel no pain and healed like Wolverine what would you do I'd skydiving no parachute eat soup a little bit too hot I'm leaving forever my mom took my phone I'll miss you all so much I'm crying goodbye shared via the Nintendo 3ds image share antenna 3 DSM is share I screamed I see that Dorothy's been using Twitter on her Nintendo this is a town will be shut down hello my mom took my phone in my Nintendo DS so I have no choice but to use my wheat thank you all for the support and love answer my DMS and follow back when I have a stable connection to Twitter bye through the Wii U image share I do not know if this is gonna tweet I'm talking to my fridge what the heck my mom confiscated all my electronics again via the LG smart refrigerator she's so persistent I got hugged by my crush feel pretty good update it happened again I just pretended them a really huggy person to my crush so I just hug her every time I see her and she thinks I do it to everyone ah here's a little lesson in trickery I see yeah geek in those where it's that would someone say your joke ladder than you and get all the credit with so much say yeah joke louder than you and gets all the credit shouldn't have made the joke Nike now look what's happened someone said it louder and got all the credit respect from past 20 years I've been doing bodybuilding I don't eat egg chicken mutton pork beef I am a pure vegetarian and I want to become the first veggie mr. universe and prove that you don't have to be non veggie to build body my name is Kumar Cuddy when I am the person standing in the back of this picture select all squares with motorcycles go ahead and select it fellas it's 2019 we still in horse way shirts yeah that's right yeah if you get with me your sweatshirts mine I don't care if you're a size medium smedium spy oh no it's mine now now I'm gonna stretch that bad boy out lost almost two hundred and five pounds last month damn dude what a dramatic weight loss what'd you do this weekend local man paralyzed after eating 413 chicken nuggets so the limit is 412 Margaret hired a man named Macbook to star in its latest ads slamming apple's laptops that's a 200 IQ play i remember one time i home he got a girl's number that worked at McDonald's in this idiot sent her a text the next day saying Mick morning and she left him on red Mick morning Milwaukee man living next to Airport paints welcome to Cleveland on his roof to confuse passengers my parents have access to mine and my brother's bank accounts and accidentally took money out of my brother's savings instead of theirs to pay the mortgage and now every time we tell him to do something he says can't talk to me like that in my house cheers dad still at work texts mom okay chicken pie for dinner nah Frick psych pish mom sees a new haircut let's see what the hell is there a skin fateful on top what you think I should have pulled out that's what I'll think Congrats on getting married beards now you and Marcia can hold hands I'm 15 and me and my ex held hands all the time in school last year you can all hand them for marriage I know nobody asked about me but I was using myself as an example you sinner can Ahmad Manny please I'm a Manchester United fan and I'm tired of seeing this sub of my similar interests Fanny please nah lad my hero absolute mad lad nice thanks to his crazy friends this guy now has a freaking prosthetic nerf gun attached to his arm what man's the Terminator these the nerf inator during my interview today I poured some water into a cup and it overflowed a little bit nervous ask the interviewer I simply replied no I just always give 100 percent get out of my interview this morning on a whim I decided I changed my toaster setting from three to four welcome to the new me thanks for following my journey has anyone told you how beautiful you are today no better luck tomorrow Toby TF lol he asked I feed using finger quotes every time I say the word organic in the people at this farmers market want to fight me parents of Reddit what is the best weird flex but okay moment you've seen from your child my four-year-old son kept peeing on the toilet seat because he wouldn't hold his I told me he had to start holding it and his response was I can't hold it because it's too big what a Chad Pepsi bottle coca-cola gloss I don't give a damn that's an OG mad ladder these are shoes with doggy footprints on the bottoms I have these and it's so funny to see my neighbor blamed the dogs for crapping on his porch hey wait wait just one second I feel like this crosses the line of Mad lad on New Year's Eve here in New Zealand some people build a sandcastle Island complete with a picnic table when the tide was out so that when the tide came back in he would have their own private island and therefore not be subject to the local liquor ban good job New Zealand hey you forgot the best part public drinking has been banned in the entire Cora mendel area and violators could have faced fines with $250 however the construction attracted admiration with the police with inspector John Kelly commenting that's creative thinking if I known about it I probably would have joined them that's incredible only a fool would buy IKEA furniture instead I just download the instructions and keep emailing the service department to say that I'm missing a piece until they shipped me all the pieces over a six month period you know I want to say that word instead I'm gonna say you wasn't download a shelf coz I don't know what are you like I can't even say it if there's like two two vowels in there what's yeah per leg why would you I'm so frustrated that don't know what that word is means or says but that's okay cuz the bring is theater for slash man lads and if you liked the video leave a like down below and subscribe for more content from MK and as always I'll be seeing you [Music]

Channel: EmKay

Views: 5,444,826

Rating: 4.9016037 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, r/madlads, r/madlads best posts, r/madlads top posts, madlads, mad lads, reddit insane, reddit funny, r/madlads emkay, madlads emkay, mad lads emkay, reddit madlads, reddit mad lads, emkay

Id: s6Zh2rWP1_8

Length: 14min 58sec (898 seconds)

Published: Sun Sep 01 2019

Reddit Comments

[u/YOUREABOT]

Used to watch Undertale comic dubs. This is sans.