r/Iamverybadass | i'm trembling

this is why i beat up catholics those chums ought to stay on the irish side of town where they belong proud protestant i am very badass no you aren't little boy i am i love it when they don't understand just what the person was saying [Music] how's it going ladies and gentlemen welcome back to mk i'm your host robin and today we're going to be taking a look at r i'm very badass oh this has always been one of my favorites i enjoy some good old-fashioned cringe spent earth day throwing an ax at a tree wow you really showed the earth oh man you got mother good you don't get it you're messing with the wrong guy i hope you know you and your uk self better understand that when you mess with someone you don't know you're entering into a black hole buddy and i live in that black hole [Laughter] well actually you can't live in black holes that's physically impossible idiot know this about me i'm not what you're used to i'm a rare breed you may think you want me but can you handle the essence of what i really am you may think you can handle me but how deep into the abyss are you willing to go you may think you want to be my opposer but are you ready to die ask yourself do you really know oh boy he's got some hashtags hashtag rarebreed hashtag alphamail hashtag myfathersun hashtag you have no idea hashtag wolfspirit okay hashtag you don't know me i think we do now no i think you just told us who you were a child i bully people too i'm with you show us a pic then hero here i'll go first 40 years old 5 foot 10 180 pounds father a two bench my body weight for reps three days a week the other days are for legs and abs well thanks for letting us know you don't skip leg day and my wife who's still in her 20s by the way okay can scrub the whites on my obliques but to be fair i had killed men on three continents likely before you knew how to read but hey healthy at any size am i right dude what the [ __ ] are you talking about i would have survived that baby knife cut i guess i'm just built different yeah you really are built different you're built out of spare parts bud why do you let people bully you lmao i don't i just don't want to unleash my demon on them okay if this were to happen if anybody and i mean anybody touches my stuff they'll end up in the er with a popped lung and liver cancer how are you planning on giving somebody cancer so yesterday i was out driving around and pulled up to a stoplight next to a guy in an older bmw he looked at me laughed and gave me a thumbs down he then proceeded to tell me i'm driving a piece of crap that's when the light turned green and after that i just saw him in the rear view mirrors none of that happened literally none of that happened dude lol you can't cook okay do you know 10 ways to immobilize or destroy a tank with household items no i didn't think so oh yeah yeah yeah that's the exact same thing as not knowing how to cook macaroni you [ __ ] idiot i love the serious level of false equivalency here you you can cook well i can stop a tank with ajax live peas fully until i get to you oh my god what's happening here this morning on my way to work i caught a big macho alpha male yelling and screaming obscenities at women at the store without even thinking i flipped into marine corps mode got in his face used my di voice and that piece of crap slunk away like a coward ah you really got those damsels in distress you saved the ladies every single person who says that they defend themselves or slap someone are all bullsh i tolerate a lot but i can't tolerate that i'm like a farrell cat touch me and you're on the floor unconscious oh you got the emojis in there though someone's arrogant stfu that's the cringiest thing i've ever read thank you i used to be a real criminal i kicked down people's doors and robbed their houses i stole from cars garages stores deal ships ran from cops more times than i can count i led a small gang of criminals to commit strings of felonies with me i've stolen more in my life than most people will earn in 10 years i've even put people in the hospital despite my size i have insane one-hit ko power okay anime boy now i sit at home and raise my daughter trying my best to live a peaceful quiet life you are not the star of the movie quit thinking you are i work and clean and try my best not to be a crappy dad no one ever thought i would have my own place and a vehicle and keep it or raise a child by myself did anybody ask damn on detected jesus what's up with the spelling did you had to have done that on purpose right i used to pull my gun out on mofos when they messed up my crap had to stop when they got the cops involved one time and they let me off with a warning because they knew the type of danger i was edit here y'all go again with the down voting did that crap make you feel superior or something yeah a little bit because your story's bullsh lol i'm a 34 year old man and a medically retired fireman with osteoarthritis in my back and neck and bad shoulders and when i was a younger man i did nothing but fist fight i never lost nor have i ever been knocked down and i punched very hard and very accurate those fighting i know the first video are an embarrassment to me everywhere my wife hits harder than that wow holy mother of run-on sentence i tried i don't give two freaks about my friends or my family you're gonna get real sad when you realize they don't care about you either just know if you're friends with me i've ranked you based on your skills as to how useful you will be after the grid goes down it doesn't change our friendship now but just know i have lists a team b team c team and dead weight i know where i belong don't screw with me why not you're gonna hit me with your comic con sword i've seen paul it's gonna snap in half dude fun fact if you get in my way i'll kill you there are a lot of people that are okay with just saying they're gonna murder other people it's really really weird how the internet changes you remember if i keep being rude you will lose my temper and i will beat you up and i will not regret even if they expel me from school wait wait wait wait wait let me try that one more time remember if i keep being rude you will lose my temper and i will beat you up i'm really confused by that heaven doesn't want me and hell is afraid i would take over i don't think satan's looking to retire anytime soon but whatever am i batman am i joker i don't know yet how i treat you depends on how you treat me first that didn't make any sense at all oh god murder on my mind that sounds great people hearing this song that's creepy me holding two knives in each hand and dancing like a creep who wanna kill everyone you're holding two knives in each hand you're just fisting two knives each hand you got four knives you're holding four knives like a freak these guys balance strength and agility holy damn cute maybe next freaking level um no as a purple belt taekwondo yes as a taekwondo it's honestly sad to see mainstream media glorify such amateur displays of athleticism bro you're a purple belt a lot of people are born males but not born men i'm a man nobody screws with me nobody screws with my money and nobody screws with my family here's a picture of my carpet i make fun of everyone and everything i make fun of religions races height weight and a bunch of other stuff if you can't handle that don't get pissy either unfriend me or grow some balls hey also i'm watching spongebob you're a big boy i kill people i like some of them beg for their life i don't feel sad i don't feel anything maybe we should put people like this in prison or something like that i'll we'll figure something out funny i went in with my own pen and tried to vote and they ripped it out of my hand and tried to give me a sharpie so i took it and snapped it in half got in the dude's face and told him to give me my pen back before he ended up on the ground i got my pen back i had to go home though i couldn't vote that day i love the look on people's faces when they talk to me like i'm some lunatic and then i tell them how much education i have and i randomly tell them about a job experience because i've done everything or randomly throw in one of my 100 hobbies and skills or just start freestyle rapping no [ __ ] way he included that at the end of all that that is incredible this is the only person in the world i'm calling alpha male 1 hey everybody i'm in the hospital i got my rifle out for pictures with my daughter's prom date last night but he was also carrying and didn't realize it was a joke what did i just say long story shorty they had a beautiful evening and i should make a full recovery in six to 13 months know what's real intimidating being tied up in a freaking basement for freaking with my fam oh shut up that is the funniest post i have ever seen nah i don't want to slap winnie i do want to drag his ass out of the 100 acre wood and stab him 47 times in the chest with a dull spoon though if you wanted to cause pain it would be better to slowly peel the skin off okay are you 12 anyone who attempts to human traffic and does it in my sight i will personally human traffic you to the river and dump you off the bridge hope everyone else does the same it's such an invisible crime so we all need to keep our eyes out and protect our women whatever at least your heart's in the right place i met some girl on discord on the 13th of this month me and her were talking about anime and the types of shows we watched i was interested to know if she did what i did i sometimes think about killing people okay she does too even went on to tell me how she wouldn't feel bad for killing anyone not even her parents then she told me how she wanted to kill someone before she dies me too i think after that she was like it doesn't matter you're not gonna tell the cops that kind of left me shook even though she was right she went on to ask if i'd tell on her if she killed someone i said why would i give a [ __ ] about who you killed she said she liked me probably as in someone she knows aina snitch after that and told me to stick around i'm still in contact with her well if either of you are serious or if this woman is even real uh you need serious serious serious therapy years worth i'd say i'm still a kid 12. and i understand the villain more than the hero maybe because i am one okay maybe you are buddy test me i dare you break into my house harass my family i won't use warning shots because ammo's too expensive no it's not i'll call an ambulance so you're asking rotten jail though don't screw with me or my family cause i'll end you i promise did you just invite me to break into your house and harass your family i mean you gave me an invitation so you shouldn't be mad if i do that right you're the type of kid that would have turned sideways as i walked down the hallway as i kept my shoulders square oh poor thing sorry to bring up that memory oh wait now you're doing the same to your boss who's me wait you're my boss being threatened and made fun of my entire life for being white okay buddy i've become extremely tough and all of you seem so very soft in your smug prejudice ironic that you want to learn to fight from me now went running errands yesterday four times sized up by gym rat mexicans who believe i don't belong in my own hometown keep poking the tiger through the cage you have no idea what i can do oh you poor white man oh no how hard is it for you to be a white guy tell me more about that please hey the guy's got to justify being a racist somehow i guess my wife doesn't have to worry about our finances just as if we lived 500 years ago and she wouldn't have to worry about eating or staying warm i am the hunter gritty with a steady hand i will always make the kill dude you just went to safeway and bought some steak shut up i'll only give him this if he went to the store and actually didn't forget a single thing his wife asked for cause that is a big win so i'll give him that if that's the case my daughter likes a boy in school so i'm picking her up and taking them to lunch oh god this is the grossest thing ever hey dads stop [ __ ] doing this it was never funny it was never cute it's gross threatening a child with a gun is [ __ ] disgusting and you're a [ __ ] better think twice be stealing my bike just saying okay what exactly are you saying though we're confused listen here you little sh you're only tough here where i can't reach you you wouldn't say this to my face you'd be destroyed so freaking hard i would take your life without hesitation i already know where you live this was just a test yeah okay let's see if you're as tough as here when i come when you what bro when you what you're gonna come on me i've got a beast caged inside of me and he's about to come is that what you're gonna say and i'm about to let it loose and rip you to freaking shreds kid looks at you angrily eyes turning red from rage next time don't be such a bit online and don't screw with real men did you just rp with me you just put a little bit of role play in your threat so when i was 10 i was caught stealing gum i got cornered and begging didn't work so i punched the 25 year old security guard in the weak spot below the ribcage when he wasn't looking and he fell on the floor and was out of breath and i ran away alrighty my elementary school friends saw this and thought i was the biggest badass in the whole elementary school beating up adult bullies and i sucker punched a 30 year old security guard when i was 12 and he took my friend's skateboard i was always very good at aiming for weak spots i aimed my knuckles right at his temple and only way a 12 year old can really reliably knock down a fully grown man after all it kinda stuck around and got exaggerated it had an interesting reputation in high school stories got twisted to the point where people were saying crap like in this great fighter what friends telling bullies not to mess with me since i was beating up people older than them since i was in elementary school in middle school i was above average as i was always interested in martial arts but the way my friends treated me because of that crap and how rumors spread people believed i was three to four times stronger than i really am none of that is true but you know what we've come to the end and that's a great note to end on but before we get going why don't we take a look at today's fan art huh made this mk drawing on my phone so it's not pretty good but i hope everybody likes it you made that on your phone jesus make more on your phone because that looks pretty dang awesome always remember if you even somewhat enjoyed today's video consider dropping a like down below and if you really enjoyed it well then make sure to get yourself subscribed and click that bell icon and hey if you're feeling super generous why not check out my links in the description down below i'd love to have you around my twitter sometime and until next time i'll catch you later

Channel: EmKay

Views: 363,939

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, reddit stories, ask reddit, funny reddit, emkay, memes, Iamverybadass

Id: JRb1FOLklbY

Length: 15min 25sec (925 seconds)

Published: Tue May 18 2021