r/Iamverybadass | i'm terrified.

the devil asked me how i knew my way around the halls of hell i told him i don't need a map for the darkness that i know so well okay [Music] what's up ladies and gents welcome back to mk i'm your host robin the worst one and today we're gonna be taking a look at r slash i am very badass i am incredibly excited i love this subreddit because it really helps me feel better about myself and my own temperament alright let's get in there four of these and or four volts plus sour patch kids used to be my breakfast during high school the highs were great but the lows sucked having heart palpitations just thinking about that oh here we go lol i consume on average over 2500 milligrams of caffeine each day and my resting heart rate sits between 38 and 52 bpm and even when sprinting my heart rate never exceeds 145 bpm and my blood pressure's normally in the 90 over 50 range i regularly give nurses heart palpitations when they take my vitals who is he conor mcgregor an mma fighter oh thanks a temper tantrum throwing toddler with more money than brains he'd beat the life out of you dude i don't know i've been fighting for 25 years as a bare knuckle boxer and my nose is still straight i'm also taller have more reach and like 30 pounds on him okay can we set up the fight between mcgregor and this random dude be forewarned anybody hassles me about wearing a mask is gonna get way more than what they asked for okay i'm that one dude who never smiles nice i've been betrayed and lied to so much emotions seem useless nice shouldn't have reported me thanks to you i got an ip band you really think i'm gonna leave you alone after that only if you find a way to get me unbanned will i ever forgive you but reddit doesn't have a way to do that so you're screwed uh oh also you clearly don't know your history so i'll tell you 49 bc was when julius caesar crossed the rubicon which is exactly what you did when you reported me if you're going to ruin my reddit experience i'm going to ruin yours self-correction so might as well accept it until all 15 of my accounts are unbanned i won't stop oh no i'm shivering in my boots everything he says is facts the problem is 95 of men especially this new generation are beta cucks this is exactly what the feminist agenda is they want to get rid of all alpha men uh like myself so they can further push their agenda wow nothing's more alpha than referring to yourself as an alpha the only threat i felt wearing this hat was from some foreign pos who was wearing an african flag on the back of their jacket seriously he stalked me in walmart but he chose not to dance with the dragon yeah okay billy bob you're the dragon all right also an african flag like a flag for all of africa the whole continent or was it a specific country because i doubt you'd know the difference bro my whole team and i used to bare-faced headbutt the other school's locker room before every away game for the hell of it concussions are weak i see it hasn't affected your cognitive ability at all let's just say if you mess with the bull you get the horns i guarantee i tell you to shut up in person i'm six foot three two hundred pounds and i'd hurt you if you tried guess what i'm six foot three and 200 pounds and you know what i wouldn't be throwing that factoid around as if it's gonna scare anybody because that 200 pounds means jack when you're six foot three my guy what did joker do to jason todd there might be something wrong with me this just makes me laugh in a weird way and smile okay buddy good for you so i had an epiphany don't run me off the road when i'm going 120 miles per hour and you're doing 65 cause if i have time to follow you i'll kill you the amount of these guys that just straight up say they would commit murder is insane why didn't i cry i guess men don't have emotions okay we can tell you're an incredibly funny dude by that profile picture to everyone morning everyone sips blood well it looks like tom no longer works with this company when you're manic and someone starts acting aggressive towards you you dare oppose me mortal this made my day i'm the type of guy that is super nice but low-key i'll rip your heart out and eat it while it's bleeding all over my face so what you're saying is you are completely psychotic and should be locked away from the rest of civilization what kind of normal mofo says make me mad one time i will eat your heart to the hole who threatened me with a baseball bat mine's better you freaking muppet are you uh are you threatening him with a katana are you okay i'm just it may not work out like you think especially since you probably bought that from a gas station and that false economy mofo is going to crack right in half i'm a 260 pound corn fed soldier that breaks punching machines at bars for fun i'll gladly take on any 125 pounder so what you're saying is you're super buff you can break punching machines but you are specifically looking to fight people that are out of your weight class because it's easy to all my friends i apparently was hacked by some a-hole who has nothing better to do with their life which if i had my way i would gladly end their sorry existence for them i fixed it and it should be okay now i'm very sorry for the inconvenience okay i actually got in a fight yesterday let's say i won okay congratulations i like that though let's say i won so you probably didn't we're all just going to agree that you did though okay if you're not a police officer you can't understand the pressure you feel in the split second when you have to make a decision on whether or not to shoot an unarmed civilian eight times yeah no offense but your writers and editors are idiots if we put a training suit on i could wreck them within 30 seconds pin them to the ground and take their gun away from them unarmed doesn't always mean non-lethal let me know if any of you want to step up to the plate i would absolutely adore it if one of them did and he backed down so i walked into a store and the lady was like you can't come in without a mask blah blah blah well she sat with her arm propped up on a box of masks i asked if i could have one and she looked at me like okay i'll take my chances with security what what are you talking about do not screw with me 2021 i've seen some i love the gloves and battle axe my guy how does that mountain do code red taste yeah i hate my school bunch of freaking ding dongs that's why i carry a four inch knife around school maybe a small school but there are fights all the time and who knows when someone wants to fight i keep a 20 gauge shotgun under the seat in my truck wow your kid my parents warned me about sounds wild over in new york lol i'm a nice guy if you know me and you're one of my buddies but if anyone screws with me or my buddies they better run [Laughter] cool you gonna just stand there and bleed yes i like to do that sorry oh this one looks like it's going to be tough hold on my mom friends is a swat and one day my mom can't pick me up so the whole swat team came to my school and my classmates were like that's low key cool to be honest yo why do i sense cap hold on what what i call the logical exemption me entering a store employee excuse me you need to wear a mask to enter me haven't you heard about the 90-year suppression order employee no i haven't looking confused yeah well the government is protecting 28 convicted high-profile files including a former prime minister staring at me looking shocked and confused not knowing how to respond yeah so i don't have to take orders from file protectors have a lovely day walks in without suffocation device no looks given i don't listen to a government that protects profiles suffocation device holy crap how much of a do you have to be to think that a little piece of cloth is going to suffocate you too raw for peace with society still too much love to be gangster i created a paradise back home out here i feel like some lone wolf living amongst sheep you try your best but you can't help but bite some of them where my wolves at hashtag hustlerlife hashtag missinghome oh i'm sure that everybody that just read this post really hopes that you do go home and hopefully never come back if you're not bleed when you leave you're welcome back i'm gonna need to read that one a second time in my head really quick hold on no it's still not making any sense i'm sorry we gotta move on only cowards use baseball bets true warriors use their hands yes and true warriors die a lot more often you sir making these videos is an idiot that doesn't seem to know his rights people don't want to wear a mask they don't have to this is a mandate in some states not a law [ __ ] i don't wear masks even at our local government center here in minnesota what a big boy i voted there and paid a parking ticket there without a mask and if someone would of said something i would of reminded they work for me if anyone i mean anyone confronts me i will tell them i'm afraid for my safety and i will beat the crap out of whomever and then proceed to call the police on them since i'm the victim holy crap six foot two three hundred pounds football wrestler okay good that's some background information we needed so if your mask is worth and kicking freaking bring it on anybody want to take bets that he's not even remotely six foot two yeah i'm an [ __ ] do i care no it's 20 20. i'm not letting timmy who dresses up as a princess tell me what i can and what i can't say i think timmy would kick your ass oh this one looks like it's going to be a nightmare to read last time it happened some older dude ran a red light and gave me the finger for almost hit me i exploded and chased him through a small town where ive was doing three times the speed limited and ran red lights was insane finally caught him and i was a 55 year old dude crying because he could see i would kill him ended with him finding the cops and hiding with them then i ran yeah i i'm next level sadly i'm the kind of guy who steps out and kicks your but you're not the kind of guy that knows how to type he's really threatening even i felt threatened if you got threatened by that maybe consider taking up some self-defense classes just so you don't look like a [ __ ] in the future if that kid pulled his bogus plastic firearm me i'd smoke his little right out of the house and onto the streets what a spoiled wizard wow big man big man just gonna say one thing the biggest difference between any of you and me is that i don't feel guilt and embarrassment i could kill a baby and walk around like nothing happened holy sh dude in other words i wouldn't feel guilty about ruining your life you like to run i'll shatter every bone in your legs you like to write i'll shatter every bone in your arms so just a tip of advice don't piss me off man you were so close you almost had me all the way up until you said just a tip of advice i don't respect men i could beat the crap out of i know the measure of a man isn't brute strength and whether or not he could knock someone out but family members aside i inherently have little to no respect for men i can physically dominate okay it started at 17 when i realized i could seriously screw up my whole math teacher after taking up muay thai you could screw up your [ __ ] okay since then i've been constantly sizing up any one male who's in a position of authority their words just seem to carry less weight if i know i can wreck their sh it's juvenile but i still haven't grown out of it yo you big boy you i pray a fella look at my in the urinal next to me if you want to see imma put one in his face okay buddy you're clearly stupidly secure in your sexuality and your manly hood so have a good day hope it works out for you and unfortunately we've run out of the goodies for today folks and i was just starting to enjoy myself but before we take off let's take a look at today's fan art mk content is part of what keeps me sane decided to make some fan art being this handsome robot chat he is quite handsome look at him yes i'd like to give him a high five i just don't know which hand to use always remember ladies and gents even somewhat enjoyed this video consider dropping a like down below and if you really enjoyed the video well then make sure to get yourself subscribed and click that bell icon and until next time we'll catch you later

Channel: EmKay

Views: 454,712

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, reddit stories, ask reddit, funny reddit, emkay, memes, Iamverybadass

Id: pbBd_HYS-4w

Length: 12min 19sec (739 seconds)

Published: Wed Mar 03 2021