r/Cursedcomments | yikes

us marines have a dance-off with south korean marines nah fam they all just in the pre-game lobby dude [Laughter] oh gamers how's it going ladies and gents welcome back to mk i'm your host robin and today i'm drinking an entire bottle of champagne oh and also taking a look at our slashed cursed comments so why don't we get right into it huh before i run out of the bubbly girl on instagram i won't date you if you aren't six feet or above the girl bro she's six feet wide yeah she's gonna need as much man as she can get ladies may i introduce human magic arming the natives to destabilize the existing government on foreign soil how american jesus christ out of all things that require fire why the hell would you would you what i don't usually like gender reveal parties but that one was lit the entire state gets to care about your baby now it's not just your son it's our son oh that's a good one i hope when i die my ashes will be spread on the women's long jump sand maybe you'll get your wish and from hell you can see it happen what's the best response to are you sexually active at a doctor's appointment with your parents not that i'm aware of curious boy nearly dies after sticking 53 magnetic balls up penis he got some balls of steel no he has a penis of steel i don't know about y'all but i've never been curious enough to stick things up my ding-dong a kid is playing video games in his room minding his own business his mother walks in honey come meet my new boyfriend i'm kind of busy right now can you bring him in here instead a minute or so later her boyfriend walks in hey champ how you doing the kid ignores him don't like champ huh that's fine how about blue dragon 72 the kid turns his head quickly i haven't heard that name since i was 10. he then realized it can't be call of duty right i told you i'd bang your mom if he grew a mustache it would also be his beard that poor guy what the hell happened i'm over 100 days free from self-harm 118. i can't believe it it feels like yesterday was my 10th day clean [ __ ] yeah op bloody amazing i relapsed this week a few days short of 100 but i'll be there soon really happy for you thank you i believe in you too hang in there word choice my guy one day in the future somebody is going to live in your room and not know anything about you or the experiences that you had in it once they find the bodies they will same 18 and female i wanted to be an artist but i'm slowly going blind roast me oh i can't speak colon can somebody help do you have school tomorrow yes shut up oh my god when you eat your brother's strange broccoli sir isaac newton died a virgin that's what you get for inventing calculus i guess in russian they don't say i love you they say this which means we are one and the same and i think that's beautiful yes but that translates to eat the flesh of the capitalists if you have a small penis smile if you have the big one put a coin in imagine you're with your girl you put a coin in and she smiles imagine if she puts a coin in huh then i guess you won this is what coke looks like when it's sun bleached i found it on the railroad tracks take a swig and let us know if the sun changed the taste her do you have any condoms him no also her this way hate when a nostril is dirty the nostril are you kidding me the ear is where it's at when you're explaining the history of beyblades but the cop interrupts you and asks why you haven't paid your taxes since 2004 we get there when we get there it's like when he asks about the body in the back so impatient they need the full story guys corky until you realize the way you remove the corki is by brutally stabbing him with a corkscrew and twisting his bloody falling apart corpse out of the top of the bottle girl delete her boy okay boy delete him girl but he's my friend i can delete him if you want coronavirus you need to calm the hell down okay airplane forced to make emergency landing because woman's crotch smelled so bad so did she previously have a mug shot or did her crotch smell so bad that it was deserving of a mug shot no that is literally a picture of her crotch quite impressive that it became its own woman my apple broke the apple cutter and now i have a weapon keep the doctors away anger is not the way of the jedi have you ever heard the story of darth diabetes the wide hey thank you let us never forget the time the world's smartest man made a dick joke i can finally get an erection the doctors disabled my pop-up blocker stand up comedy dug these up in my yard today if anybody knows alyssa haley maddie and xander from iowa i have these for you keep digging and you'll find them absolutely love those stereotypical white people names just imagine introducing yourself as xander especially if you're a grown-ass man i'm sorry xander's out there i mean for god's sake my legal name is christopher robin but even i'm out here roasting y'all maybe you should take this issue up with mom and dad while i nodded nearly napping suddenly there came a clapping as of ass cheeks gently clapping clapping at my chamber door tis a visitor i muttered dummy thick and nothing more i'm really glad this generation has embraced horniness just a little hypocritical thomas jefferson his 600 plus slaves all men are created equal his 600 plus slaves jokes on you they couldn't read i found my ex-girlfriend's body in the morgue that i work at it was very awkward still giving you the silent treatment the cold shoulder did she ghost you legs are so weird cause like you can do this but then you can do this and i find it really weird the top one is all hail feetler the leg man would not appreciate what you just like into this fine specimen too build a man of fire and he'll be warm for an hour set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life god this joke is older than me at this point [Laughter] go to horny jail y'all i don't want to get political bud 478 million people live in the com zone so germany australia and switzerland is the gas zone oh boy real gamers plant saplings if only we could farm skeletons and use their bone meal to grow trees instantaneously in real life well you technically can it's just illegal i'm wanted in 37 countries for grave robbery give me my grandpa back man that account used to be so funny i'm just kidding it still is but that reply is not an angel crying at the cradle of the aborted child he was told to guard well he didn't guard it very well then imagine having sex with someone and they moan your twitter name instead of your real name yeah oh [ __ ] i'm so wet mom what the heck what do you mean honey you're so wet yes haven't you looked outside it's pouring hot moms are closer than you think oh man you can see how old this joke is by looking at that imessage photo yo what's up it's your neighbor mike from apartment 204 yo what's up mike can yell quieter because it's 12 and i'm trying to sleep i'm at work right now mike where'd you go bro mike went to join in oh if that were even remotely real that would be the worst thing i've ever read okay not quite the worst thing but uh still stop second-guessing yourself what is your wish mortal well i wish i would stop second-guessing myself really you're gonna wish for that hey it's my wish so i get to hey jumps off bridge it makes sense that he's a rick and morty fan his brain was so big it covered an entire car after all wow that's a [ __ ] good one my guy me irl the silence after your kid falls over is the worst because they're either absolutely fine or filling their lungs with enough air to mimic an air raid siren or they punctured both lungs and are silently suffocating just keep waiting we'll find out eventually when you kill someone as the imposter and you see their little pet just sitting there all alone i'm sorry little one there should be an option to kill it too still haven't played it so sure if a serial killer ever kidnaps me ties me up and tortures me i'm gonna pretend like it's my fetish and i'm super into it only three things can happen he's weirded out and lets me go he gets into it too and i get some ding-dong or he kills me either way i end up winning killer stabs her her harder daddy the licking part was so realistic until i figured out my earbuds fell out and my uncle was licking my ears instead you go to hell and satan forces you to marry his daughter ah okay she gives you a [ __ ] she can literally suck the life out of you don't mind if i do at everyone my school just went into an unplanned emergency lockdown everyone in my class is thinking the same thing since we're all american who is the imposter a villain is just a victim whose story hasn't been told yeah but have you heard of this german victim that didn't get accepted to art school twice in a row yeah just because you were denied something in your life does not mean you get to be a horrible horrible murdering psychopath like i'm fairly certain at least two of the people i'm looking at on screen are not even to mention hitler again i am very fun at parties i just don't get invited to them the wallpaper that i had whenever i was 10 the wallpaper that i have now evolution japan before and after here is my fan art i love you guys since y'all make me laugh whenever i'm upset that's exactly why we do what we do and i absolutely adore this art style and would love to see it explored even more and on that incredible note ladies and gentlemen we've come to the end of another video always remember if you even somewhat enjoyed this video consider dropping a like down below and if you really enjoyed it well then also consider subscribing and clicking that bell icon and until next time we'll catch you later

Channel: EmKay

Views: 942,834

Rating: 4.955956 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, reddit stories, ask reddit, funny reddit, emkay, memes, cursedcomments, cursed comments, reddit cursed, reddit memes, reddit funny, cursed memes

Id: FZDG2GX_tAY

Length: 11min 11sec (671 seconds)

Published: Sat Dec 19 2020