r/Facepalm | something's not right here...

hey uh buddy when they say wear a face mask they don't mean a literal face mask hello everybody welcome back to mk my name's jack and today we're gonna whack our faces at the insufferable people of the world think the world's getting better well think again dallas turned four on the 27th of july he loves homemade chocolate chip cookies great dane great danes of instagram gentle giants big boy spoiled rotten homemade cookies man's best friend ah chocolate is poison for dogs moderation is key but thanks for your concerns yeah okay you're right but in this case no you can drink acid in moderation and that's still not good for you at least that's what the government wants you to think education minister reviews incident of child left in underpants during school day i was in shock the child's mother told you net i couldn't believe it i saw my daughter and saw how the other kids were laughing at her i asked the teacher why she did it and she said that the rule stated it is forbidden to wear a sleeveless dress i told her so just underwear is okay yeah what the hell you can always rely on a school to take dress codes far too dramatically sometimes i remember when my high school informed the girls that the reason they couldn't wear sleeveless tops to free dress days and such was because it would be too distracting for the boys because apparently naked people on the internet isn't a thing and i'm pretty sure it's girls who are more attracted to arms than guys just saying it's dumb outdated logic schools need to stop this have a safe weekend ah thanks buddy oh no the condoms have holes in them quick inform everybody attention everybody if you're going to have a safe weekend please do not use the condoms i repeat if you're having a safe weekend do not use condoms thank you extend your laptop's battery life with battery saver in opera's browser please please use us this feature doesn't work at all but you know it it makes you feel better it's like buying a bunch of plastic straws instead of just using the ones that are at mcdonald's ah so this is the field trip that peter parker and his school went on multiple choice question what is in a watershed streams all of the above rivers land so a and b are the same damn answer wow guys play the newest nintendo game on tv game the totally legit entertainment system tles it has 3 000 pirated games on the latest graphics from 20 years ago and supports hdmi output that seems to be the only thing we can really promote about this but hey super mario 3d world wow look it's like that soulja boy entertainment system thing all over again u.s town rejects solar farm amid worries it would suck up all the energy from the sun ah yeah this is big brain time no it's not three prong plug is plastic is this a prank was excited to try this product but when i open the package the three prong is plastic see pictures how am i supposed to use it now comes the hassle of printing out a return label and going to a ups store to return it good quality especially cords i'm scared to buy electrical goods online in the us it is my first time someone on the top blamed that there was a plastic covering but you can simply get rid of them yeah i guess they didn't ever bother to actually you know just pull it off please practice social distancing six feet apart okay ah the icky wiki coffee sickie will be having a field day at this place ah damn rain if only i had something to cover my head with ah an umbrella that's that's how i was god damn it man come on maybe it just can't open okay let's let's just benefit of the doubt why do the women ever have to take a dna test to see if it's their child yeah well why don't men pull their own weight and actually carry the child themselves for nine months for once huh frank i'm sick of carrying the baby it's your turn now yeah chuck it in put it up there saw the dumbest elevator today it had a button for the floor i was already on i don't know how i feel about this you should feel sad that's how i feel and you should feel annoyed by this guy too in the old days did people see in black and white because like new movies that are in black and white so were we like colorblind 50 years ago okay by the way they've written this i'm going to assume that under 10 years old that and i also thought that when i was a kid like i could never understand or explain it myself but i just genuinely assumed and thought okay we must have been black and white when we were like in the olden days lol i just saw a news headline from the usa it said manhole was about the size of seven to eight washing machines they'll really use anything for the metric system that is the metric system though it's easy so basically two toasters is a microwave three microwaves is a washing machine and five washing machines are a joke that i don't know how to finish oh look another post you posted it at 9am not at 2 45 pm i'm from another part of the world my dude yeah you deserve those four town votes why the freaking men gay girls have buttholes too what an idiot girls don't poop tag me or i'll tell everyone your girl's account why are you r that's not how it's spelled dipstick oh edgy silhouette man we heart you if you ever feel alone don't of course forget your psychologist and therapy a boy band group has figured out your mental health problems guys just don't do it man i wish i knew about this from the last seven years wasted all that money on just trying to develop myself and figure out my own purpose in life to give myself more joy and not feeling alone or worthless i should have just listened to a one direction tweet how to buy xbox gear without paying xbox prices didn't realize xbox had its own currency system and wait since when did xbox have a watch could you imagine gaming with that thing frick the illuminate you're the reason this world is fricked up you bear i couldn't think of another one to replace it with sam we are not the illuminati we are illuminate fridays a branded knight that showcases top djs and quality production at a nightclub here in atlanta oh okay sorry yeah okay i'm just gonna hold it in one star i don't know how to download games [Laughter] i am incapable of this thing and it is your fault this ten thousand dollar professionally made piano is terrible why because i suck at it when xxx temptation said the saddest thing about betrayal is that it never comes from enemies it comes from those who trust the most i felt that well yeah why would you trust your enemies may i ask why you chose k for your daughter's middle name that's also my daughter's middle name that's my mom's middle name ah yeah i was just wondering because nobody started naming their daughter's middle name k until after kenzie was born i don't even know you or your daughter okay just thumbs upping my way out of this conversation bye what country are you in usa must be a number paul walker reportedly returning for fast and furious 10 as well unfortunately it's a very literal statement when i say i'm sure he's dead tired of appearing in any more furious movies now should i be slandered for making that dark of a joke yes i should i hate myself for thinking of it but it needed to be said man it's like xxx temptation always said you only got one shot did not miss your chance to blow ladies if men want to leak your only fans content then leak their twitch content yes everyone's getting freebies you whitey don't seem to understand how twitch works but hey sure if you think that's gonna work you do you kanye says slavery was a choice get zoned at the end of the video well at least the title is relevant [Laughter] like damn they purposely wrote it like that too you know they did in breaking news moments like this there should be a type of podcast you can listen to in real time easily accessible for free radio you're thinking of a radio no it's not radio it's a podcast we're like we'll you know play it constantly 24 hours a day uh you know we'll put some music on there as well throughout it a bit we'll have some talks uh discussions about the latest news and maybe got some people on to have some little jokes and quips here and there but it's not radio quick uh join my kickstarter i'm putting it at three million dollars for a 500 system do you think humans will ever walk on the sun i was just thinking and thought how crazy it was that a person walked on the moon and mars i was just wondering if you think a person will ever be able to walk on the sun too i know it's really hot but i'm thinking if you go in the winter when the sun is like 30 degrees i bet they could do it i spy with my little eye someone who skipped their science class that's right amanda it's you you freaking idiot well if they do it would have to be at night never mind we got a new contender today i found out that martin luther king jr wasn't our first black president bruh you thought he was our president yeah i mean at least he's correcting himself not many people seem to do on the facepalm subreddit uber's search for a female ceo has been narrowed down to three men too often women get the cleanup jobs so i read up on this apparently all the women they were approaching were refusing it because they didn't want to do the cleanup job of replacing someone who was stepping down due to misconduct and sexism blah blah blah so to be fair an uber it wasn't like they weren't genuinely trying to find a female ceo he's a duck's eating chicken this the title says it all would this be like us eating monkeys or something because like ducks and chickens are birds but they're also different technical species i don't know why i'm trying to add logic into this let's just move on to my blind followers uh how are they supposed to read this it's sign language are you dumb yes they are the dumb one congratulations here's your medal for being smarter and here's your prize oh it's a book on braille wow what a coincidence parked next to this guy just so he has to come back to his car and find a faster one next to it okay anything else you want to share with us to gloat about your insecurities with validation and seeming successful muzzles are for dogs and slaves i am a free human being yeah okay uh the difference there being the fact that dogs and slaves would have to be forcibly wearing them as in they can't just take them off themselves whenever they wanted to you're wearing a face mask you can take that off whenever you want it's just that you're a threat to others if you do it and are very selfish get a cute pattern on it if it'll make you feel better make it feel more like a fashion piece than some sort of medical equipment like my god americans i am so sorry for you guys the majority of you deserve so much better than this today i propose to my girlfriend by knocking on a door and kneeling in front of it i forgot that her door opens outwards well if you were dating long enough you'd know that just saying don't think you guys are ready to get married don't even argue with me i know i'm right my school's looking for a photographer for our christmas party but the thing is you're going to pay us what you'll pay us to photograph people then you can use our party as a market or something am i making sense yeah you're not making any sense at all what logic oh man freelance work creative arts in general this is the stuff you have to deal with like if you're gonna do this just buy your own damn camera adult children are costing many parents their retirement savings young adults are being forced to rely on help from parents to survive due to overwhelming student loan debt and crippling low wages there fixed your headline god so true oh no the newer generation of kids keep getting less violent with crime rates and are getting academically better slowly over time what can we complain about them for well a lot of them are going into higher education now so maybe we could blame them for our generation telling them to do that out genius red mustard ah this will go lovely on my dino bird boob i'm calling chicken breasts that from now on some dumb motherflipper tried to get a discount on a kayak because it was displayed outside in the rain as if a kayak's sole purpose isn't to be wet it's like they say whoever said the customer is always right clearly never worked in retail oh a dog person i will voice them accordingly what's your height i'm six foot three what's that metric oh god six for three inches i think in metric and to this day he still doesn't know that he can simply google it doctors are warning teens not to put potatoes in their anus after guys come on stop with the online challenges just stick to the dance stuff on tik tok okay at least the only thing splitting open uncomfortably there are your hamstrings or something name a yellow fruit orange you are so wrong tide pods and vaccines share 15 of the same ingredients i love what these things they just always say vaccines they never try to specify which specific vaccine they're talking about like they just assume that they all have the exact same stuff and we share like 80 dna with banana peels what's your freaking point yes it's great because it's true what would you do in this situation yes such a deep philosophical question here's my response what the frick are we meant to do the entire planet of earth is going to be destroyed well uh i'll i'll just hop over to mars i'll just just walk on over there easy also i'm pretty sure the planet wouldn't like stretch like that that's not how black holes work actually on second thought i don't know how black holes work so this probably is probably what happened so no someone in the comments is probably gonna know this and it's gonna make me look like a complete idiot then i'll be the one whose face pumped oh what a cruel cruel world meanwhile in capitalist america what absolute dystopian hell world are we living in covent 19 testing site near walmart sponsored by pepsi i guess that's what i like you're like what pepsi plague 2.0 three countries that i want to visit south korea thailand and china how about you uh paris canada and korea okay buddy you're going back to school now bye-bye dwell shock for wireless controller for playstation 4. was 65 dollars now screw you 70 dollars you want it well too bad is mine you have to pay more top broadcast right now oh a guy playing guitar so many people are watching it i'll be honest this one's a bit hard to see could you use a thicker red circle next time just so i can tell better your english makes me vomit you're it's it's not the right you're you're not using the right york you're the reason aliens don't visit us anymore all my siblings and myself had chickenpox and measles my own children all had chickenpox and i'm pretty sure my son had a mild case of measles we're all unvaxed i'm just gonna ignore the lack of apostrophe there ruining that last sentence yeah that explains the chickenpox and measles yes it does what's an orgasm when you fold paper to look like birds and stuff ugh that's oregano idiot oh for goodness sake i'm gonna look at the actual definition so i don't actually screw this up and explaining it um here we go an individual animal plant or single celled life form there you go you're welcome ev facepalm this post yes that's where we are yeah this is a clear sign that you've been on reddit for too long that you've just lost track of which subreddit you've ended up in travis scott says he is sitting on over 3500 unreleased songs um that's a char yeah and what do you think the chair's filled with huh cds or maybe usb sticks for 3500 songs have a wheelchair but your arms get too tight from pushing it around well don't worry guys we've got an upgrade for you upgrades people upgrades man who called coronavirus fake crisis gets infected wife in critical condition oh that's what you get mate but i honestly hope you recover well oh look and it's florida it's it's always florida can i get someone from florida in the comments just to is this really common for you guys or am i always just seeing the worst of it all so i heard it was fine putting your phone in the microwave to charge it my charger broke yesterday my battery is pretty low so i thought i'd give it a go this happened oh no who would have seen this coming but don't worry buddy hopefully your phone gets replaced and you can try out the new uh waterproof feature that's in the latest apple update yeah you just download an update it makes your whole system uh waterproof so you just throw it in the water if you want it's all fine okay google tell me a joke okay here you go what is a bug's favorite sport i don't know me neither i like to imagine someone was just very lonely and bored and decided to speak to google and it just ends the conversation there just me neither no i'm not gonna keep talking i'm done golf cart driving florida oh my god tries to blow up neighbors chickens with homemade whiskey bomb during dispute over bb gun but like how far did he get though to achieving that like did he already make the bomb did he manage to throw it and set it off and stuff or like was he just kind of caught in the act one in four women will be beaten by husbands yeah keep him fighting fit with these three belters astar why pay more thanks so much for watching today's video guys please give it a like if you enjoyed today's content as always subscribe too if you'd like to see more regular content coming from the channel my name was jack always remember that there is no such thing as failure only feedback in the moment you try something again it turns from failure to feedback and i'll see you guys in the next video [Music]

Channel: EmKay

Views: 1,022,931

Rating: 4.9304566 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, reddit stories, ask reddit, funny reddit, emkay, memes, r/facepalm, r/facepalm top posts, r/facepalm best posts, facepalm, r/facepalm emkay, emkay facepalm, facepalm emkay, therewasanattempt, r/therewasanattempt, r/therewasanattempt emkay, therewasanattempt emkay, fails, reddit fails, epic fail, fail compilation

Id: RByGDHTxigk

Length: 16min 27sec (987 seconds)

Published: Fri Jul 10 2020