r/Choosingbeggars "I'm a Felon. PLEASE Go To Jail For Me!"

welcome to our slash using beggars we're beggars demand that you go to jail for them hi I love your giveaway idea but I think you should give out the cost of the painting to the winner your art is cool but like someone like me is not really interested in getting a piece of painting you'll get a lot more attention this way too you're asking me to offer cash instead basically I mean what am I supposed to do with the painting plus if you're giving away the painting you're already losing money might as well just offer to give out that money you can even send it through MoneyGram or gift rocket sorry you feel that way but I'm not going to give away cash hope you find another giveaway that fits your requirements your loss I'm not even going to follow you or enter your stupid contest cool fu how are people supposed to feed their family with a piece of your sucky art I don't know maybe get a job how about maybe put a good giveaway where you actually give out things people want f off I'm blocking you asking someone to get a job to buy food for their family the nerve of some people hi there I was wondering if you guys can build us a unit similar to the one on your website with the clear plexi bottom it's for charity and I think it would be perfect to collect some donations please let me know thanks Charlotte hi Charlotte no probs have you got an idea of specs or did you want the same one in the pic also time frame please Cheers then what follows is Charlotte sends five emails in the course of like one minute each with different specifications for the computer oh wow lots of emails I think it may be easier if you just list everything you need in point form but so far everything you've listed is doable well sorry I get excited sometimes okay so I'd like the following please 32 inch screen leopard print has attached on front and sides transparent overlay on the perspex with a message purple black light light up hitter Brandon I'll send the logo a nice sound system so we can stream music I think that's it okay got it oh no you're looking at 2195 dollars plus delivery about a two-week turnaround give or take send me the details you'd like on the invoice and I'll whip one up for you Cheers this is for charity Lowell I mentioned that at the beginning you mentioned on your website you do charity machines ideal for charity supporting drug habits and anything which requires collecting money without having to pull a shank on any one brained into your specs of course maybe I didn't clarify that part sorry so it's going to Brisbane will pay the shipping ah my apologies maybe I didn't clarify that part myself I build them for charity organizations I don't actually build them for charity I think you missed the price just underneath the blurb you pasted sorry for the misunderstanding oh the way they're advertised is very misleading one would assume that a charity machine would be for charity I can see where the confusion lies one would also assume that the 1895 dollar price tag in bold would be the price of the unit we sell them to charities so that the charity can use them to collect money sorry for not clarifying that in the ad well you really should clarify it I'm sorry but we really had our hopes up this would have been an excellent earner for us we actually wanted three units but anyway never mind I may have to take this up with bear trading as your advertising specifically mentions charity and now you want to charge for it I will Charlotte I will make the fun much larger and bolder not the same size as the actual ad just out of curiosity those three units you wanted did you also expect them free your tone is a very condescending and unprofessional it's not unusual for businesses to donate more than a few items to charity we would have paid the shipping on all of them naturally I will definitely refer this to Fair Trading now Charlotte I'm experimenting with homeopathic sarcasm right now it's very heavily diluted compared to my prescription dose please excuse me if I caused any insult by not clarifying that the price underneath my items on the website is what we actually charge for said items I just happen to mention in the ad that it's good for a charity as well as P with drug habits yet people with drug habits aren't asking for a free machine or three because they fit a description on my website then threatening me with bear trading please don't respond to this my meds are wearing off I can't believe I wasted my time with your company so frustrating we have stakeholders now who will be very upset and I'm sure they'll be contacting you good bhai sorry I was dealing with real paying customers please forward these emails to your upset stakeholders let them know you're willing to give them 3k out of your pocket and work two weeks for free for charity lawl emojis what's so bad about working for free for charity I mean every time one of my videos gets to monetize that's basically what I'm doing but it all works out in the end look at all this exposure Ike it's TGI Fridays we'll never get our business ever again when a military couple come in they only give the person who was in the military the discount not the spouse I guess they have never heard the saying the hardest job in the Navy is being a military spouse when your spouse is in the military so are you who do you think keeps the house together and family strong it is the other spouse was in the military alongside of her husband it is not the matter of the 10% discount it is the matter of basically saying the spouse don't matter we go to Outback or Texas Roadhouse where they give both of us a discount and also thank us for our service I'm not in the military so I'm not really sure this is a common sentiment but do people actually say that the hardest job in the military is being a military spouse because to me it kind of seems like the hardest job in the military is getting shot at high in love with the phone cases was wondering if you wanted to collab thanks so much glad you like them what'd you have in mind if I got a case I could post on my account for my followers to see you'd get loads of orders if you purchased a case you'd be free to do whatever you want with it I love seeing people share if they're happy with it thanks I meant you should give me one why would I do that because it's my dog on the case but everyone who orders has their own dog on the case if we gave them away we wouldn't have any customers are you not giving me it then sorry I would be paying out of my own pocket I do this to pay rent front middle finger so the main thing I learned from this pose is there's services where you can put your puppy dog on a phone case what's hey I just checked out your page and I'm interested in a photography shoot hey I'd be happy to as long as I have your consent to post the pictures on my page and if that's okay when are you free that's cool I was hoping to do it Thursday down at blank definitely it'll cost an extra $10 for travel but all up 40 bucks we can do it from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. I only have to leave early so I can get the bus back home on time is that cool plank told me you did it for free I did but that was when I was starting out my business she also bought me lunch as payback could you do mine for free please I need it by next week because I want to send in samples of my modeling um hello if you call this a business it's the most unprofessional thing I'm sorry I was just having dinner I can't do it for free a lot of time goes into photo editing and I'd like to be paid it's how a business works this is stupid you're just an amateur d-bag with a stupid can and camera calling yourself a professional photographer you're an egotistical sack of freaking doo-doo and I'm making sure Blanc knows how much of a stuck-up grunt you were today go F yourself you prostitute dear group I recently went on a date with a nice woman we had dinner drinks and a great conversation as the waiter brought our bill my date asked me could I buy two takeout dinner for her kids I said no because I don't even know her kids she had an attitude for the rest of the night so I cut the date short question was I wrong for not buying her kids I never met dinner and was she asking too much too soon wow we got a two-for-one deal choosing beggar and entitled parent all rolled up into one and no my friend trust me I have seen enough entitled parents in my life to know that you dodged a bullet with this one about 15 years ago I was in a car accident not my fault and I was awarded $25,000 in insurance money as a result I took the opportunity to move out of my mom's home and get a cute little studio apartment for me and my cat the people on either side of the courtyard were very nice and I made friends fairly quickly with all the neighbors despite being so much younger than all of them after living there for around a year I met a girl my age and we became I thought good friends she had had marriage problems and was separated from her husband and the two children she had were in foster care for reasons she wouldn't tell anyone she begged me to help her get her kids back from Child Protective Services so I got a list of guidelines from the local office and together begger and I started planning to try to get her children back I bought her children furnishings and helped her get a job I even used some of my insurance money to help her get a used car so that she had transportation for her and her kids and she did get her kids back they had a small two-bedroom apartment she slept on the couch and her children each had their own bedrooms the girl's room was decked out and Dora the Explorer furnishings that I had bought for her and the boys room was decorated with sports cars as he requested it was a lot of money but I was a sucker and I thought it was a good cause soon after getting her kids back she stopped coming over as often her kids came over all the time but she was usually nowhere to be seen I found out that she was attempting to settle things with her husband and he moved in with her bringing his drug problem with him I also noticed the sleeping arrangements had changed they had crammed the children into the smalls bedroom together pawning off all of the toys and furniture that wouldn't fit apparently they used the money on pills at this point I sort of started distancing myself from begger because I don't want to get involved with someone doing drugs I did still watch the kids however as I felt bad for them their parents were often found loaded up on pills and alcohol at this point I was out of insurance money and was working 12-hour shifts with elderly hospice patients as a caregiver I used a large portion of my income to make sure the kids were fed since begger and her husband spent all their money on drugs and liquor it also meant that I very rarely had time to hike down to the center courtyard to check my mail I'm guessing I had gone a month without looking expecting that all I had was a few catalogs and several copies of the weekly shopper coupons I've learned my lesson and I checked my mail often now when I opened my mailbox I was alarmed by the large stack of government sealed letters that had been wedged in it there were six separate letters all of which accused me of a different offense this culminated in my having five warrants out for my arrest and a court date it turns out that beggar had gotten an old used car from a local junk dealership the car had if I can remember the list no tags an expired license plate and a missing taillight so of course it was pulled over beggar being on a probation period which taught Protective Services meaning if she stepped out of line they would take her kids away again panicked and decided that she would lie about her identity so she said she was me and she was driving without a license and insurance because she had forgotten her purse jerk the first thing I did was go to her and ask her what this was as I recognized the model of car as the one she was so proud to have gotten after having pawned the car I helped her get a year prior I didn't even know you could pawn a car by the way she smiled at me and simply said you don't have a criminal record so they won't punish you like they would me you don't want me to lose my kids again do you I'm not sure what she expected but I was beyond caring at this point I was pissed the first thing I did was cancel my work for the next few days and I said about making appointments with a lawyer and the police officer that took beggar's worth it that she was me simply because she knew my name and address the next day I was at the police department where I watched a video of the interaction between the cop and beggar turns out he was a newbie and he just didn't want to get in trouble for taking someone's word when he really shouldn't have and luckily for me beggar's husband was there and she was instructed to switch seats with him because I can't allow you to drive without proper ID ma'am she then walked around the back of the car in full view of the camera the officer admitted his mistake since I wasn't pregnant my hair wasn't a gigantic curly mess and I was a good foot taller than she was I know I didn't mention her being pregnant but I had to cut some things out the next day on my way out to visit my lawyer I was waylaid by beggar and beggars mom they were both furious with me for going to the police and I was instructed to go back to the station and tell them that I made a mistake and then I actually was the one at fault when I said no the poo hit the fan beggar left but her mother remained she stood in my way on the path and wouldn't let me get to my car all the while screaming about how she was going to tell everyone that I molested the children when they were in my care I was young and that did scare me a little because I didn't want to be placed on a list for something I would never ever do still though I recognized that she was screaming these threats in full view of many of the neighbors in my courtyard many of whom had stepped out to see what all the fuss was about the police were called and she was given a warning I was asked if I wanted to get a restraining order but for some reason I said no over the next few days CPS approached me and I told them everything all the while feeling like I should have come forward sooner the children were again taken into foster care and that is where all of this should have ended with me learning a valuable lesson nope in the weeks that followed beggar gave my phone number to everybody Under the Sun I was called for drugs sexual favors and even for loans one of my cars windows was smashed in with a brick and there was shoe polish writing the words lying prostitute on the back of the car at one point people started coming and banging on the door of my apartment in the middle of the night and they shattered my front window and broke my birdfeeder I was saved from taking any legal action for all this when beggar's husband and beggar were thrown in jail for identity theft buying and selling drugs all of the charges that had previously been mine and child endangerment there may have been more but I can't remember the apartment hired 24-hour security because of everything that happened and they also installed security cameras all around the courtyards thanks for all the free money and for babysitting my kids now I would really appreciate if you could go to jail for me because well I don't want to go to jail so you should go instead of me thanks for everything buh-bye I'm blind can I have it for free no pressure but I'm considering ending it all well done typing the message did you get your blind dog to type it have you never heard of Braille sure have but you don't use it pal check your Nintendo watch post there's a little clue there as to why I know you're not blind mind your own business [ __ ] I really like how this choosing beggar is like no pressure but I'm considering ending it all I mean I'm not trying to twist your arm here but just to let you know I'm literally going to kill myself and I think the only thing stopping me is that you might give me this thing for free I mean no pressure though but basically if you don't give me this thing for free you're basically murdering me no pressure though that was ours last using beggars and normally I try to end the video with a joke but to be honest all I want to do is go check out those docking phone cases

Channel: rSlash

Views: 1,845,197

Rating: 4.9344234 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, rslash, r\, sub, subreddit, best of reddit, reddit top posts, top posts, top posts of all times, funniest posts, funny, comedy, funniest reddit posts, funny reddit posts, funny reddit, fails, cringe, choosingbeggars, beggar, r/choosingbeggars, choosing beggar, choosing

Id: FPlOgpjvXnE

Length: 16min 46sec (1006 seconds)

Published: Thu Mar 28 2019