r/Pettyrevenge I Tricked The Office Food Thief Into Eating Worms

welcome to our slash petty revenge where no revenge is too small our next reddit post is from Arndt and banoffee this revenge wasn't intentional but it was truly satisfying in our office we had the typical problem food thief I ran out of milk faster than I should have one of my two yogurts once disappeared my piece of pie was bitten numerous cases I bought a small fish tank with a macro POTUS fish he was a predator so I bought him some blood worms they were frozen and portioned into nice cherry colored candy size bricks can you already see where this is going I'd thrown away the box so they were in the inner package with no identification marks I kept them in the fridge and every day I took half a brick and one glorious day I found out that the fresh brick that I was going to chop in half head it's corner bitten off the clearest human teeth markings I've ever seen I never knew who that was but I imagine how that person takes a bite of candy feels it melting in their mouth wonders what's that taste and texture and why isn't it sweet spits it and sees that these are blood worms oh how satisfying I made sure to tell everyone in the office about it loudly it gives me a huge grin every time I remember it down in the comments we have this story from Johnny Walla decades ago I had sorry this is a good story decades ago I had friends who used to make chocolate magic mushrooms a friend of their stopped off on his way to work to buy some for a weekend camping trip as it was summer he didn't want them to melt so he put them in his lunch bag and left him in the staff fridge midway through the morning one of his co-workers crawled out the mids room screaming that he had gone blind they ended up calling an ambulance for him my buddy checks his lunch bag and sure enough half the chocolates were gone the chocolate bandit regained his sight and while the hospital attributed to something he ate they never did figure out it was magic mushrooms I've never heard of magic mushrooms making people go blind so my guess is that he ate so many magic mushrooms this dude was absolutely trippin a balls and just thought he was going blind serves as guy right our next reddit post is from all-father I work at a logistics company and my job is to find drivers to take freight from A to B I work with the same trucking companies a lot but sometimes I get one-off drivers this is one of those a truck driver calls me asking about a load for the next morning coming out of Laredo Texas going to Portland Oregon what's the rates we can pay 3,500 on it how about 4,000 sorry the customer is strict about the rate on this one it has to be 35 oh man I need this I need to get home to see my son and my wife is sick then we need 3,500 on it the customer will not go higher the guy ends up taking it if you think I'm being too hard on him keep in mind there really isn't a whole lot hitting from Texas to Oregon at any given time so I could try to get him his rate but I'd risk losing the load to another driver if he really needs to get back why does he want to go back and forth negotiating on price and risk it the answer is because he's full of garbage the next morning I get a call from the customer saying that they've changed the facility that's receiving the freight it's still going to be in Portland just in a different space something like a 20 to 30 mile difference tops it should be a complete non-issue considering the driver has just started a 2,200 mile journey so it's a drop in the bucket I call him back hey just a heads up the receiver called to say that it's going to deliver to a different address in Portland Oregon oh well you can send my rate confirmation with a little bit more money what do you mean the agreements changed so I need to renegotiate seriously it's like a 20 to 30 mile difference from the original one 20 to 30 miles is kind of a long way to go okay what do you think you need for the new rates $4,000 should do it oh really the original rate you wanted huh wow what a coincidence are you serious it's only fair I put the driver on hold just to spite him for trying to handle me like that and I start working on something else out of curiosity I checked the address for the original delivery facility compared to the new one turns out the new receiver is actually 25 miles closer to the shipper in Laredo the new travel distance is two thousand one hundred and seventy-five miles I pick his line back up hey we'll change the rate up after all okay send me the confirmation okay we ran the miles and the new receiver is actually 25 miles closer to Laredo so we're gonna need to reduce the rate to $3,000 whoa what are you talking about well we're cutting 25 miles off the trip and it's kind of a lot of miles to cut it's only fair right so that 3,500 still good right of course it's still good I'm not gonna change the rate by 500 bucks because of a 25-mile difference I'm not a butthole our next reddit post is from stormdancer first just FYI in most handicapped parking spots there's a place next to the parking spot marked off for loading and unloading wheelchairs in the US it's usually painted with diagonal stripes onto the story my son and I were at Walmart and as I parked I saw that a new BMW convertible owner decided that the stripe spot was set aside for him I looked and there was no sign of a placard or handicap tag this pissed me off and I stood about it the whole time we were shopping when he was still parked there when I came out I decided to get spiteful I found a piece of paper and left a note on his windshield that said so sorry I didn't mean to scrape your car with my wheelchair I would leave my contact info but you were illegally parked blocking my van so good luck buffing that out we sat in the car another 20 minutes and waited out came this guy looking like a personal trainer he came jogging up to his car chatting on his phone he saw the note screamed oh shoot then he spent the next 20 minutes going over his car inch by inch rubbing every speck of dust or dirt he was still looking when we left nothing harmed no damage just a sinn hopefully learned our next reddit post is from Bradley driven this was the end of senior year of undergrad I was rather studious never missed a class paid attention turned in every assignment on time and got good grades this other kid in class was nice enough but a slacker would bang his phone all class and was the worst group teammate throughout the term we would say hi in passing but that's about it desks in the class were the type where two people sit together and while there were no assigned seats students tend to sit in the same seats all semester so it struck me odd that when I sat in my seat well prepared for the final that mr. slacker immediately sat next to me the exam was to be 80% scantron multiple-choice and 20% essay and was to be 50% of our final grade in the class I had a strong feeling that the extent of mr. slackers exam preparation was his plan to cheat off of me the professor was so lacks he sat at the front reading during exams sure enough every time I turned a page he turned a page when I would fill a circle he would fill a circle some students huddle over the papers to fend off cheaters I leaned back making it exceptionally easy for him the only problem for him though was I would make a tiny dot next to the correct answer and fill in the wrong bubble for all 80 questions not surprisingly we finished the multiple-choice section at the exact same time and I moved on to the essay section mr. slacker however felt that 80 or maybe a few wrong of the total 100 was good enough and he went ahead and turned in his exam skipping the essay section altogether I finished the long answers corrected my scantron and turned it in I did not hear his name called a graduation our next reddit post is from fever fears this happened when I was in elementary school my school was very strict about bathroom and water breaks and didn't trust us to not wander the halls I wasn't the smartest child but I was perfectly behaved I never asked to leave unless I needed to actually do something never use the nurse to get out of class especially since it was my mom and always listen to the teacher one day in art class I was feeling nauseous I didn't verbalize this because I thought I could deal with it myself I didn't want all the extra attention in my head I thought sometimes I feel better after drinking some water so in the middle of working on my art project I walk up to my teacher and ask can I go get some water at the water fountains no she replied I soaked back to my desk and kept working on my project it started getting worse and worse so I walked up to my teacher again and asked in my best brown-nosing tone I could muster can I go to the water fountain please she responded no go back to your seat don't ask again then I got that feeling in my stomach the one where you know it's too late I puked all over her shoes and outfit and then I was sent to go talk to my mom about how I puked all over my teacher and wanted to go home down in the comments we had this story from B pond this happened to me in kindergarten I was feeling sick and apparently it didn't look like I was paying attention so the teacher called me to the front of the board to give the answer I walked up to the front stood there for a second then vomited waffles all over her shiny black shoes with everyone looking at me good times our next reddit post is from gloss afar and for context this takes place on a plane once while seated in the second row I had my briefcase placed in the space between the first row in the wall as we near the end of the flight the man in front of me suddenly turned around and said you need to move that before we land I know this they make the announcement on every flight but something about his tone just pissed me off and I said I'll wait for the announcement he gave me a hostile glare I asked you nicely no prick you ordered me rudely but whatever I saw him trying to flag down the attendant to report me and eventually he did catch one's eye at which point I silently whisked the bag away out of her view he didn't notice it because he was watching her approaching he gave her his aggrieved complaint and then turned around to point at nothing she looked over the seat at me and I made the universal finger twirling to Temple what a loony sure she gave me a sympathetic look and walked off leaving the man to stew our next reddit post is from amber joke this happened this afternoon today was balls hot and between my car's AC not working and my body's habit of sweating puddles in anything over 70 degrees my mood was already a bit thin I was picking up some items from Home Depot and parked halfway in a quarter full parking lot plenty of open spaces around I haven't gone to the store much in the past few months so while I was trying to remember the personal protection equipment order of operations I absent-mindedly let Mikey slip from my lap to the cup holder I'm all kitted up and go get my stuff from the lockers and head back to the car I start patting my pockets and feel that little ball of fear rolling around the pit of my stomach I started walking faster and as I get to my car I see my keys in the cup holder I'm standing there staring through the window while sweating buckets from a 3-minute walk annoyed but I contact roadside assistance and get a truck dispatched quickly as I'm leaning against the front of my car a van comes down the lane on the opposite roll and pulls into the spot right in front of my car as the driver starts pulling clothes from my legs I shout hold it and put my hands out she stops the van about a foot and a half from me and looks pissy like hitting me would have inconvenienced her plans for the day I look around at the nine other open spots all next to her are behind her in the area and gesture towards them she gestures at me and mouths why I guess she was asking me why I'm just standing there and despite it not being any of our freakin business I say I'm locked out of my car she sits in her car for five minutes just heading to the heat around me while I dick around on my phone eventually she gets out skal's at me and goes inside about 20 minutes after she went in my tow truck shows up but it's on the lane opposite me I was feeling a bit petty so I stopped the guy right behind the van not thinking anything would come of it well right as he goes to get the tools van lady comes out of the store she was livid Lee muttering to herself as she gets in her car and turns it on I explained the basics of the situation and the tow truck driver looks around at all the other open spots and sheer comfy when a mischievous grin comes across his face he starts opening the door taking a few extra minutes to make sure he does it right and then has me sit in his air-conditioned cab while he fills out an order form because his phone was acting up the dude probably took an extra 10 minutes to do his job while Van lady is stewing in her annoyance I appreciate the Solidarity and through him a few extra bucks for the service he didn't made sure I got to leave first before rolling out deer tow truck guy you rock I would imagine tow truck drivers get yelled at by entitled people on a nearly daily basis so I'm sure that he was equally pleased that you handed him this win our next reddit post is from corporate slave I was waiting at the elevators they didn't take too long since my apartment building isn't that big I got inside and right when the door closes a hand pushes through she looks like your typical middle-aged Karen she presses the 17th floor and she takes one look at my floor which was on the second she scoffs glares at me and says the second floor really it doesn't take too much to piss me off her comment was so unnecessary and uncalled for who cares if it was a second floor it's my decision whether to take the stairs or not I just finished an overnight shift and I was exhausted I guess my exhaustion made me extra moody because when I reached my floor she was scrolling through her phone I quickly run my hands through as much buttons as I couldn't I say have fun jerk right when the door closes and because I was extra exhausted there for extra moody and petty I press the UP button when the elevator barely reached a third floor so I can use the other elevator and press a bunch of buttons again to further inconvenience her just in case she decided to get off in the third floor and take the other elevator take the stairs in if it's not that big of a deal just don't be effing rude to your neighbors for writing the elevators to the second floor you don't know if they're exhausted or if they have non visible health conditions that make it hard for them to take the stairs the top comment of this thread comes from I like to walk and it reads I hope she had to pee that was our / petty revenge and today we've got a shout-out I'm shouting out people who follow my podcast who leave me a voicemail and inker FM as a way to say thanks for supporting my podcast so thanks Jess for supporting my podcast I really appreciate it hi my name is Jess and I'm one of your Canadian fans so I'm super polite eh I just let's let you know that I love your videos and your podcast and I want to thank you for all the content you put out every day you've introduced me to a lot of subreddits that I wouldn't have found without your videos and I'm really enjoying the difference and variety and genres that you put out I like to listen to your videos while I'm at work I work in HR and I'm working from home right now so whenever I'm doing really repetitive tasks it's good to have your videos or your podcast on the background thank you so much for that I hope you're staying safe and healthy right now and giving lots of love to your family and you go again just thanks for what you do and I look forward to hearing your shout out bye

Channel: rSlash

Views: 379,277

Rating: 4.9507365 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, rslash, r\, sub, subreddit, best of reddit, reddit top posts, top posts, top posts of all times, funniest posts, funny, comedy, funniest reddit posts, funny reddit posts, funny reddit, fails, cringe, pettyrevenge, petty revenge, r/pettyrevenge

Id: VI79oT1jANg

Length: 16min 19sec (979 seconds)

Published: Wed Jun 24 2020