Poundland Special: Bag of Crap | Ashens

cheapo blimey 2013 and I'm still not dead I know I can't believe it either anyway time to look at some more stuff from Poundland and other such shops with similar names and first up our old friends at signalex are helping make our phone music play louder with iphone speaker amplify sound from the iphones built its speaker this is the 14th take of this introduction I can't stop laughing at it it's literally an ear trumpet that you used to see in sort of a drama cent in the 1920s that old people would show in their ear hole to amplify sound except it's supposed to amplify the sound from your super duper high tech phone and they've even made it look like an ear trumpet or something hanging off a gramophone least pretend to make it look a bit futuristic in some manner cured anyway easy to fit clips are in seconds are they hoping you'll think there's some electronics involved I don't know and there's not much said other than designed for iPhone three four 4s or just a pity I don't have any of those but I'm hoping the one I do have will fit right inside there's a funnel maybe yes I don't know right that looks like for a different table I think this will be closest to the phone I have oh I so want to run around a pub with this stuck in my ear just going out to people and saying what's that sunny you probably gets thrown out but man it would be amusing right so here's a phone playing some music ready steady music [Music] right rewind that and here it is magically amplified so there's the ridiculousness of what I'm doing hits me occasionally um yeah well the good news is it is genuinely louder the bad news is it makes it all Santa nian shite and isn't that much louder to really worry about if you do want to amplify the sound from your phone get a pair of bloody speakers they're only cheap and they don't look like this look it's Gandalf's hat right next on the agenda of fun how about a terrifying mask of minor celebrity Holly Willoughby hooray this is something I picked up for the that Christmas video I did for the music e song what was it called I remember I listened to her like a million times you're the best thing about Christmas that's it but it wasn't a scene we ended up not using because Ava didn't have the running time for it and B it didn't quite work on a human level anyway but you can now pretend you're Holly Willoughby when you rob a bank which is always nice now that's a very minor thing as compared to the next one which I had to buy for the simple reason that well other than the fact that masks in Poundland are brilliant anyway celebrity masks if somebody I have absolutely no idea who it was just didn't recognize them at all the best guess I could come up with was is it the bloke who plays Andy Sugden in Emmerdale the soap opera answer no it's somebody else oh no I can't remember his name I genuinely can't remember that everybody in the comments are we going it so say it somebody offered like one of these reality TV programs where Essex or something that I haven't seen but you can now pretend you're a minor celebrity that nobody actually knows who you are you may as well just wear your own face I don't know but the real king of these celebrity masks this absolutely horrifying Bruce Forsyth mask look at his expression why can you get him smiling or something you look so pretty Syria like basically he's coming to dismember you also what's that on his lip there's like a little bit of yogurt or something left it's horrifying just stare into that for a few seconds and now you will never fear anything again in your whole life unfortunately if you're in a car you may have weed yourself but don't worry because you can get replacement rear seat car mats in patent land are you ready nothing can prepare you receipt car mats two-piece set ideal for the back foot wells 100% cotton pile back mix fiber what the hell does back mix fiber mean answer nothing now you may think I've stored these somewhere filthy nope this is actually what they're like in the shop including this weird Harry I think exactly a man-made fiber of some description basically these things look like they were weaved together out of fluff from a tumble dryer and pubic hair and then left somewhere filthy for a few months look at it all this stuff honestly this is what it's like in the shop you can buy the most filthy Maps imaginable I mean just looking at 50 pence of Matt on you to mats for a pad and that's pretty good to keep your car clean but do you really what you're not keeping your car cleans you're making keycard dirtier just by bringing them in I would love to take this down to forensics and see exactly where all these fibers have come from well on the plus side they've been quite strong backing I said oh man it's a big lump of something you know I don't touch these anymore oh well that was nice wasn't it let's have something a bit more fun shall we how about fantastic our old friends from their jokes and gags range with their weird smiley lunatics six metal tricks can you untangle them it's some sort of irritating puzzle like a fingers getting a posh cracker so the idea is you've got to be able to untangle these things have you well let's have a think about it that was pretty easy all that this looks more difficult how would that go would that go through there oh no look you've got to properly twist this right I think I actually know a really good way of doing this and I think yep there we are absolutely perfect untangled in seconds don't judge me life's too short anyway well sir we got how about an intelligent DIY model car right if they were that intelligent they probably wouldn't call an aircraft a car for starters I can t assume there's some sort of large amount of irony placed on the word intelligent they're 43 pset construct your own fantastic model ages 8 purse instruct and play look here's all the parts you're supposed to get that you can't read because of that thing have you noticed a small problem yet if it was that bloody intelligent probably their aircraft would have wings call me mr. right brother but I can't help feeling that planes don't get very far if they haven't got any frickin wings just got little stubs it wouldn't get anywhere it's got a giant propeller no wings and no tail we have to span a screwdriver instructions oh that's really handy instructions and massively oversimplified instructions in fact and a handful of small metal part that's almost certainly don't go together properly and no I'm not gonna bloody make it there's one thing I don't need in my life it's an intelligent model car that's actually an aircraft that doesn't have any bloody wings good grief 2013 this is the best they can offer anyway little story for the next one the next three items come from a shop called pound world we don't have any of those local to me so I'd never been in before but recently I stayed in a hotel which happened to be next door to a pound world Alleluia unfortunately due to these circular starts during being there I couldn't buy any things I couldn't carry around me which is a pity so I saw three really horrifying rubber toys most of the other stock was very similar to sort of Poundland stuff however by magical coincidence somebody sent to the PIO box exactly the three things I would have bought I can only imagine they were psychic or they follow me around and everywhere I'm gonna go for the psychic one here's the first toy of jokes and gags look similar to fantastic but a different company finger puppet a fearsome set of Nashes with googly eyes it's the trophy from a murderous psychopath it's absolutely horrifying would you give this to your children answer oh my goodness ha ha i betray the Sicilian Mafia and look what happened to me he's even got a tongue a horrible rubbery tongue this is slightly freaking me out actually as unpleasant toys go this is pretty high up I would have said there we are 140 children who are fans of Dexter Hall similar programs there but don't worry you can distract them from their nightmares with a dunce in monkey dance little monkey dance is it just me or does that sound a little bit creepy so will it be to pull the thing of his head in the package I didn't realize that was not very dancing that was very brighting slightly in a package simply pull monkeys cord and watch him dance around oh isn't sticky and weird it's gonna get filthy up from it five seconds dance monkey dance they oh here we are yes he does kind of do that's that's a very weird concept of dancing that's more like having some sort of horrible neurological incident that you may never fully recover from oh yeah a little bit of waving in agony there Thanks dancing monkey for making none of us ever want to dance again in case we don't survive also look at his dead vacant eyes just as a little addendum for you they're marvelous but nothing beats the damaged packaging of bulging buddies watch me grow in size there's a tiger that's been run over by a truck and has a pipe up his ass blows up like a balloon it says crazy inflatable balloon animals what literally there are six animals in total elephant Tiger frog thing hippo and tiger no that must be a lion then and I say I was gonna buy the elephant myself because the trunk makes more sense although actually think about it it's funnier to have a tube stuck ever to our size opposable why not collect them all I can think of so many reasons so no jobs quite sticky as well you've got this thing morning it's a tiger it's very dead let's blow some air up his anus and there we are that's hours of fun for the whole family who wants an inflatable tiger it's like it's like something your deviantART Deary me oh yeah instant Tiger flatulence what more could anybody ask for what is the concept behind this toy if anybody knows please for the love of christ almighty keep it to yourself okay time for something a little bit different currently online you can buy something called a buy I think is called a bag of crap and which is a term that has been used before but it's currently being used by these people for literally sending you a bag of crap if you send the money there's like different grades and things like five pound ten pound and 20 pounds and you pay for the crap and the postage and they send you random items they have sent me a 10-pound bag of crap and no that's not the weight that is the cost and here is what I got for the magic 10 pounds and postage that was spent and M&Ms scented candle nutty lemon fair enough have a sniff it smells vaguely lemony I suppose not sure but the nutty bit let's light it yeah that is quite lemony I suppose I'm going to put that over there and leave it as a fire hazard I would say would throw out to the white balance on the camcorder that seems to have happened to considerably some time ago next up a DVD copy of Milton Berle's low impact high comedy workouts get old milton berle I believe is an American comedian who looks slightly older than the universe this is actually something that's in Poundland I've seen it repeatedly so we can guess where they got it from either power lines or its suppliers so America's beloved uncle Miltie mr. television presents possibly the safest and most comprehensive senior exercise video available so the main point of this is to give it to somebody fairly young as an insult understood with that what's next bloody hell the same thing in slightly different packaging moving swiftly on realistic security camera it looks like a key security camera but isn't home shield security easy installation no wiring battery-operated realistic of course is easy installation no wiring it's not real is it so basically this is looks like a fake security camera oh sorry it looks like a real security camera no it doesn't and flashes a little LED to confuse burglars and evil turns into thinking you're watching their every move and it's so cheap and plasticky this have just fall to bits if you actually put it anywhere it's also a sort of weird clicking thing going on presumably that's how you turn them to light on off and look fake lens so people think they're being stared at mm not entirely convinced that would really keep anybody away from your valuables I suppose it would because they saw if you had something as cheap and as this you probably nothing worth stealing in the house so it makes sense and next up a test tube the original shot in a tube alcohol 15 percent by volume bloody hell pineapple and Coca oh god I don't like pineapple night coconut this is gonna be good so there's sent me something massively alcoholic is point to 7 units of alcohol per tube that's very kind of you and oh that's right for the blaie Security seal had gone this is an alcoholic cocktail of water sugar flavorings citric acid and potassium sorbate please drink responsibly you would have to drink responsibly to read the instructions we'll put you off a life go on then the things I risk for YouTube let's have a sniff Oh oh dear it's kind of smells of plastic actually that will be the coconutty bo spat have a sip oh yeah it's very potent alcohol juárez tastes vaguely of coconut leaves us all plastic aftertaste no real hints of pineapple I wouldn't be recommending that when Noah did where they got that from they don't sell a golden parent land or anything something else they don't sell in pound land is just cool bliss tamarind drink which if the can is anything to go by is made entirely of poo ingredients tamarind juice sugar salt water I've never heard with terror and I've certainly never seen one oh dear no it's not fizzy well I supposed to be fizzy but gone off over the years actually what is the best before miss Lee I can't tell it's the product of Thailand that's all I can tell you well you certainly look at this in Poundland Cheers oh Jesus Christ Oh oh that's horrible oh oh oh it's got like a weird savory taste to it it's like a drink made out of rancid potatoes or something Oh get back to your tree tamarind meanwhile that's gonna go down the sink ah oh dear and the only slight worries the last item is potentially worse big sheet featuring what can only be described as a cartoon character shoveling astroturf into his gold pocket times - oh good there's ten of them on so I'll get a lot of enjoyment out of them all the writing is in the language I do not understand and well the idea is you rip the package open and either shovel it in your mouth stick it on your mouth or roll it up and shove basically shoving in your mouth is very popular it's something you live a picture of microwave and some writing down their products at Island well that's good and what flavor is it well there's a picture of some chillies so I'm guessing some sorts of chili flavor recently right and where's it see we need us something that's been them desiccated and stuck coated with chilies I really don't know what this is at all if you do know the game the name even please do write it in the comments if you know the game right there as well say you've lost do something Oh every time you how did you roll this up it just shatters you trauma perhaps is 50 years out of date most food people send to me is you know no seaweed definitely seaweed to taste like expired prawns no real hint of chilli just a really big fishy dodgy prawn II taste yeah that's pretty unpleasant actually I've got to say that's not gonna be on my Christmas list this year four items to give people during the festive season to make them happy perhaps items to get people the out of my house if I don't want them here my yeah oh it's gummed up on the inside of my mouth oh dear alright that's enough of that and hopefully enough of that for several months that was powered land special that was a bag of crap box of crap whatever it's called oh I'll give you a link below and I'm gonna go rinse my mouth out with something quite caustic against my better judgment I decided to try and build the intelligent model car aircraft anyway here's as far as I got before I got so frustrated with the lack of instructions which tells you to do things in the wrong order and other things that don't make sense things that fall apart because the pieces aren't made and the little nuts don't fit into the bolts properly deep breaths basically I'm not gonna finish it and it's never gonna fly but it never was with wings that big [Music]

Channel: ashens

Views: 2,984,878

Rating: 4.9067206 out of 5

Keywords: poundland, poundland special, special, ashens, review, funny, inflatable tiger, magic rings, megaphone, ear trumpet, gramophone, phone amplifier, signalex, funtastic, rubber teeth, dancing monkey, puzzle, seaweed, chilli, tamarind, drink, juice, horrible, food, horrid, disgusting, car mats

Id: NcFQF3PZFRk

Length: 19min 44sec (1184 seconds)

Published: Sat Jan 12 2013

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