Stupidly Long Crap Food Special | Ashens

Oh God food special but on the plus side that's not my hand it's done hello oh he's agreed to come along and help do this thing where I'm going to eat horrible food he can be a second opinion or a wrong opinion if it's different to mine if I like everything I don't like anything dan you obviously haven't seen these before well if you got first I've got some real horrors can we just say your surname you can say my surname if you like Tomlinson you know why I'm saying that Lyle's because everybody was going oh it's this day off this internet channel owners that damn off another internet channel and getting it wrong all the time I would kill to say what Internet no that's terrible alright then here's an annotation you're happy now yes very happy let's go and watch it I don't want people say max is better than my channel they love watching it out instead of me and all I do or starve starve it down Oh Deary me I became very unpopular in the damn community - is going are you the water delivery Russians yeah everybody on Twitter speaks exactly like that anyway we go read some crap mate right let's tear this first thing fresh from Dollar Tree I believe Giovanni's Lobster spread with cognac oh my faith I detect a hint of sarcasm so it costs a dollar which is like what seventy pence something like that seventy pence for something that apparently contains lobster and cognac so what's the main ingredient going to be bread or something and newspaper ingredients Hammad well Hammad is lobster pollock that's a cheap fish who laid two palm palm oil I when I read in English but does be better and pricing sizes making these senses about the Americans lobster Pollack palm oil milk Pollack broth Oh God boiled polyps eyes or something soybean oil passing monosodium glass got monosodium glutamate will be fine mMmmm forgive me yeah yeah I also got some bruschetta from parent lands to go along with it nice is that luxurious yeah we can have it on that little seems slightly less hands it's like we're going for a picnic where we're facing it so right we have to rip this open somehow we had both our other arm seven friend living life right that's right mr. vegetable bruschetta so put down that plate mmm I'm along with this sofa and still be open this thing I reckon can I do this one-handed oh look at this strengthened thousand men look like dog food oh god it really does look like dog food what does it smell like you you sniff first I'm scared oh I'm glad the audience didn't see ya oh that's horrible it smells like the sea and not not in a good way sounds like a dog condoms left on the bed right where's the knife all the souls bequeath in the bits so just make it a bit similar even taste of it this is fantastic so area have some of that back you know man right what am I waiting feet on the way for you yeah let's do it simultaneously I would suggest you don't take a big bite okay Giovanni give us your lobster goodness hmm something's quiner that's when the bridge is actually quite nice good work less no worse that's the worst thing in the world no smiles on Pleasant though it tastes better than it smells I'm glad for that hmm leave most elastic that's not massively impressed by that but it's not that bad I'm quite surprised I was expecting something pretty bad for lobster and dollar tree no Floyd be gagging clever yeah so I'm not yeah it's okay this is alum can you chase the cognac yeah - you know my Biscayne you like deal it's from stores not stupid thinking of it injecting poison in that for months before he sent it to the Pheo box he checks me through a tin well um that was it kind of disappointing anyway actually almost nice hmm alpha more different out of 10 I would give it 6 that's quite high yeah that's quite high you would eat that yeah if somebody gave it to as a volleyball you would eat it I suppose men with a smile on your face pretending mmm do you like Lobster anyway I've only had it once we yeah I do I'm big fan of the seafoods mmm but when it smashed up in paste with Pollock and cognac and newspaper yeah poison and hats then it's not so good I'm slightly dreading these bacon gumballs bubblegum flavored like bacon so they claim don't come and called accoutrement sure it's not an accoutrement it's something you eat kind of oh and on the back there's a terrifying snake and bacon rasher blowing a bubble which is i presume it a bacon - that is okay yeah the bubble based cannibalism has protests oh man right what do they smell like I already smell anything actually maybe you've got code unless Trevor if I wanted to smell a little bit bacony more like fat and salt at the very least I think you've actually brought together a little I think it's gonna fall out that spirit actually if you smell together yeah actually does think it's nice Oh is horrible it smells a bit like sweat sweat flavored gamble we'll be eating that you said that wiggle out that my head need to think of something I've seen something nice that loves the thing we just know something nice all right he goes 3 2 1 gumball oh god aah dance matters out like I've still got mine oh god I wish I hadn't you all right no the all he's disgusting it tastes like that bloke fat and salt it really does it's just Oh well you know I'm not a big fan of them yeah bacon especially like that I do like bacon everybody likes bacon down but that wasn't it didn't taste debate it was just like fat and salt and horror it was however it did fight very quickly and then it was just sugar and they because of you I felt like I have thought unhealthy just putting my all I could just like really up my quest well I'm not gonna say you're wrong would you like to wash your hands afterwards with this bacon so terrifying man on it I mean washing his hands in bacon I would suggest genuinely you don't touch it with your hands because it absolutely reeks ever smell yeah go for it it's like the smell of the Gumbel's yeah twenty times are strong that's four really bear or deer doesn't know what will do with that is they're genuine bacon in there now when we thought so physically now it's just soap ingredients and bacon fragrance fragrance that wasn't very good was it shall we have some steak ties to it yes have you ever heard I know you're a bit of a nutrition buff so you probably haven't heard of school bars oh remember episode of The Simpsons where Homer is climbing a mountain and he's got these bars that made out apple juice and newspapers yes that's what this is not literally made out of newspapers but it's like it is and the thing that worries me is they are actually sold as school bars which doctor given to kids to take the skills won't just give them a apple or a pear as opposed to this mashed up sugar mix by Potter demand oh the concentrated apple puree all the rotten apples we couldn't put in pies that's not a joke dehydrated Apple molto dextran all they go fructose is that sugar fructose has got various loose yeah I think why I think so vegetable oil apple extract pear juice concentrate mmm-hmm I don't it's going to be unpleasant by any stretch but you're gonna really see what I mean that's a good dog blight treat it does does I don't I I don't remember them looking like this actually it's the texture it really is like newspapers and apple juice here have some mm got it so dense it's like eating a million apples and a million newspapers it's not bad I'm so it's like it's a was really bad but this year is really dance different these things kind of upset me that they exist what why do these need to exist now will it be more sugary than actually is of course it's not as sugar as I remember hmm I feel like it should be more sugary than actually is but it's not bad it's just kind of fun yeah don't graze yeah totally crazy it's an apple man kids need apples to eat I tell you who would recommend that this man I've never heard of welcome to Larry the Cable Guy beer bread serious look you gotta try it it's presumably how he said I've never heard of Larry the Cable Guy Lapham he's not very popular there's a person who sent me this attached to this post-it note get on your knees and thank God by name if you don't know who this man is it's obviously not a big fan of him so is he somebody like him pop in the media but not liked I don't know he must be like - he's got his own range of cooking products mmm so Larry the Cable is he like a real person or a comedy person is he like off a reality TV show with cable fitter he became popular then was he a pretend man I can't understand he seems to have a hat that says guitar dome on it I consider a bad I don't know more I understand that's why you look so bloody smug heydays bro you'd be smug if you had your own Ranger Miriam bloody Rio brain and problem here here chef excellence how smoking bags it looks like he's wearing he's just put his head through a tablecloth he fell over a bit I've just raised it doesn't say guitar does get git-r-done get your done okay get your down these from the best country that have to do you get it done boy that's a creature lived like that brings the only something that does worry me slightly is at the bottom they've actually deliberately made the package look like it's been ripped that's weird they want to do really appeal to people who would buy ripped packaging it's very gritty bad bread probably literally serving suggestion put it on a plate I like that it's not taxing they've gone yeah they've not been potential design sighing to you let's be a bread put on a plate shoving your face with all your hey this recipe calls for a can of beer just be sure to use the beer and not drink it of course you have to be 21 years old a tree what the where does he live Saudi Arabia with 21 years it's not the legal limit in America you can really get easier yeah you're me 21 21 you it's free yeah you have to be pretty old I think that I think it's not ongoing joke that um most according glashütte head start in this eighteen frozen yes so that's why yeah I was injecting cider directly in my eyeball when I was seven years old I mean but that's we're so you can probably like own a bazooka at age 16 but you can't trick to it what's the legal limit for any organ are there a bloody clue probably varies by state thank you see you have to imagine that America is like 50 separate countries glued together mmm I don't know why you'd imagine that is prob not true anyway you should try my other products should i loaded mashed potatoes loaded mashed potatoes with water gun powder exploding mash those spicy mashed potatoes need probably cuz it's easy to sell in a box corn muffin spicy corn muffin chicken batter spicy chicken base Kanaka red spicy bread it's a fish powder tea spicy tea spice icy spice be a batter for fish fair enough Deluxe mac and cheese with smoky bacon that macaroni and cheese not really big mac is in that white cheddar mac and cheese with bacon hamburger dinner ooh triple cheese hamburger dinner lasagna dinner cheeseburger dinner blimey no more spice of the bomb oh look get your redundant foundation is that his um range of like head I quite like him there he's a charitable man I do feel a bit sorry for him for just from that post-it notes we understood it like that I can't help it complete get him although winters trip I'll bet thanking God by name that's a strange thing to say is don't most Christian face don't ascribe a name to the gold deal ah no nothing then no just the Jehovah's Witnesses isn't it who called him Jeff also no Jehovah that's it Oh anyway we'd better make this bloody you noticed we've already opened the box and jumped out the contents which are in the kitchen anyway I'm gonna hide behind the camera go make it down to the kitchen you intro wheeze really opens the kitchen and here we are cooking we're first to an ashen sets on behind the camera and it's done so here we are with all our products and all that we need to we have the bread this is the box that it came in and I was bread Larry's beer bread and here's the mixture it looks like cooking or something you get yourself the finest cooking so basically Larry the Cable Guy beer bread box you open up and it's just a huge bag of drugs yeah you have my child for a man I mean I tend though I'm just the guy favors but it wasn't a lot because I think it's been cut with flour bread mixes because of somebody gives you higher than cocaine is you happier than cocaine as well we've also got the Barrett to mix it with I got cows Berk is it's not like cheap piss like Foster's but it's still very cheap only the finest right no not only that that's right butter is kind of on the cooker cooking oil is a melt butter how much butter water can trim around quite there's couple steaks it's not um yeah it's not very I'm not a big fan of us it's yours with you I'm not really young before - Lissa - are you a friend Logan I know I don't drink I think it's okay this isn't gonna go away so like I need if ingredients ah do you like the bold Larry Larry looks like a positive guy he looks very plain happy and quite you know GQ it looks like a very very positive person but I got no cheese do I feel like I'm the cynical one on this one I really feel like I'm gonna be the one who's them rebound man you bring in Larry downer right just make it man before we get upset by the instructions while we supposed to do so for government ok well the wonderful instructions are as simple as possible they've been labeled like picture forms in case you're illiterate let's always know you can just look at it so you've got your bear you gotta preheat the oven to three where have you got gas or is it less electrical we have them actually done like yeah we'll have to do that after you've mixed it cut away going to try and mix into the bowl all right how much if the phone how much my buzz fine yeah we've done the Botox one 110 okay ready for this go for it have you got Harris so I'm doing how the second one never been so excited nervous I feel like the police came in and life almeida what's in the bag what's in the bag nobody yet honest Thompson quick Stewart of 20 flush it all of it I can see you calm down how do you feel about breaking bread I'll be cool on them and can't wait baby whatever we're doing any like oh man I don't like any of these babies I don't like this situation what's the next um it looks just as simple as that blend surely you have to put beer in it at some stage yeah especially just blend the beer and the back together pour of that butter in ooh but terrific I was realize you're probably going to need a wooden spoon or something to actually stir it wait like you know what I think I'm hearing so solemn or not I've seized my hand I'm not being funny man but Hugh maces stuff this is absolute disgusting come on seriously then we come you go put the whole lot in you go keep going you got something to stir it outside perfect you can't plant stuff like this really can't you gee I wonder if they notice that jump cut where I had to plug the camcorder into the moment we just realized I forgot to attach the proper microphones this might be really quiet well your end my face is close to the camera I want to smile every day let me smell that every time you smell that Oh rancid on me if you pull the whole lot listen yeah it's not dumb just trying to mix it down try and dumb it down a little bit I was like glue and poop together at last is it meant to go like this I've got a clue does it say anything on the instructions expect failure lager sick yeah that's that's beautiful after mouth drinking lager passing out you wake up to a pile of sick and that looks like that and we're gonna cook it into bread marvelous oh yes boys got weird smells vaguely like sort of well bread mix and playfully like something very unpleasant you're ready for the oven oh yeah I must explain to the people at home discovered I don't have a loaf tin because my ex-girlfriend took it if we're doing it in a pyrex dish okay actually I should have checked in the oven in case the lifting is in the oven it didn't occur to me $10 you know no no no Jesus Christ does it that's like a full of computer chips look what that's a double dragoness at the jammer arcade board photo I've run out of places to store these damn things in the midbass I never use yeoman so I stuck as unbelievable that's plastic I got Li put the boot track in the media completely forgot is another people so no way come on EXO about you really free oh come oh my god I talk about bloody hell most people hide booze or something in the oven I'm party he tease arcade game that wouldn't have helped the sound problem on the board write down get the bread bread I want some bread down write down Fred let's check on this thumb good you bread I'm sorry board has it actually cooks that's really good it looks good it looks real what we done wrong that's the way of things but physically all these things work like cutting Spain it doesn't serve this like deflate it's full of spiders and millions just crawl out raining spiders just really good it's really nice muddy hell Larry you are the cable girl and apparently something I've written a song I just thought you did grease that dennou the bone oh you know that's never gonna come off you sure the camera yeah yeah man let's zoom in a bit turn a little screen over bloody hell it does look really good it does look a bit like it's got an evil face it nurse hasn't got a pop thing a little bit that's a slight worry yeah I think I think it's a explode explode ah you've got to leave to cool for a bit more yeah got a let let it cool down does it say how long will the Box ready my kind of thumbs ready as I'll ever be it looks good it smells good some reasons gonna kill us head cause bug could make cakes Kyle's give me bread sorry but could make cakes why not they got a lot of money some form of do we should used hire can and pretended we were James born their jobs fear is that this is more like a Swanton ism is bread isn't is venting Brendan yeah beer bread it says bread it says Oh God so you got time wash miss hunt order if you didn't grease it digitally it'll definitely terribly can either thinking about you meant to test element yes you're supposed to put like a knife foot or fork in it and see if it comes out if it's still sticky it's not done it's probably sticky I can didn't Larry tell us that on the instructions Larry's that Compton I think don't blame Larry don't blame the cable you know a bad workman blames the cable go still a happy-go-lucky guy that takes a lot other kind then why is he pre-packaging food the rest of it doesn't really not say to prick the bed on the instructions just as cool in pan for 10 minutes that's the last thing he says me it's the last thing he ever said remember me as a bread maker you can try you know that go on you're such a wimp down I'm not sure how to take this crazy poker face but what is it he can't form words he can't even decide whether you like it or not what I'm really scared mr. celli looks good Chloe any stuff that people spit milk mean stuff that people sent you this is true well honey parsley okay it was just a dried mixed nuts Jenny checking the bag before does yes almost sounds like it slippery so you do that about 50 times I didn't say anything we're all watching dad we all hate you you all want to see you suffer bear that's something that's why it's beer bread it cooked good good good be fair wasn't my very complicate a monkey a monkey kids made a monkey with a rubber to grease the bowler rifle he could have helped can really need to stand at home the joke in this video is I'd never seen except or like running to get my jam aboard I've left in the oven taste is it actually cooks or this all does is always cook yeah we did we did a good job cooking it well I think Joe Kinnear take it you can taste the barony British yeah I'll bring it over a little bit God he's a bit derp we had a little mad you reckon yeah I thought it's good you know oh it's hot mine so spicy all that right you could tell me was hot before him black fingers come on oh yeah is bread big about what you reckon so we're actually um you can test fear on I can't get we've got quite heavy cold dose when the reasons I'm hardly going camera oh yeah you can taste a beer yeah sent me know do you like it it's not particularly wonderful is it sponges don't you very small sponge I reckon it's okay but hmm oh god the aftertaste is just boiled lager is the bird is for the birds birds that will get pissed um yeah it's not that graze it's not like an awful or anything that's not I don't know if it's that I don't think it's a problem with Larry's setup it's just a problem perhaps with the concept of it yeah maybe I think there's a waste of a cat of kolesberg that could have been and it sold a profit to a teenager it's a lot of washing up as well for for as much more batteries I don't know okay that was my mother's Bowl Siri I died nine years oh yeah don't worry we'll sort of travel oh yeah what would you give it out of ten out of ten hmm come get a meat eater I wouldn't eat it probably like with the peddler and the streaming so if I was really hungry and I had nothing else probably yeah probably to them but okay so pretty but like a three I would say it's not unedible you know I wouldn't suggest I wouldn't recommend this at the same time mm-hmm yeah yeah all you get out I think we are seeing about three I think if perhaps it was less doughy it could have gone up to four or even five but it's really but you catch throw them you're bad I don't think about texture it's just the taste it tastes of cheap bread and beer but there's a reason what about is not thereby know if I'm eating something unhealthy at least when I taste I can't taste the versus you taste the lager that's quite healthy I can't leave you environment too many crappy bread and yet you're still eating more of it kind of feeling with it yeah you can be addicted to it and then don't you'll be traveling to America specifically to buy like a library in Lausanne I like a drunk she gave her favorite dance man I did dance with boys you

Channel: ashens

Views: 1,592,007

Rating: 4.9107366 out of 5

Keywords: food, special, ashens, dollar tree, lobster, paste, bacon gum, school bar, beer bread, larry the cable guy, funny, poundland, dan, bacon soap

Id: Sfz9qlkzF40

Length: 28min 13sec (1693 seconds)

Published: Sun Apr 14 2013

Reddit Comments

[u/keiyakins]

One of the times you really do have to call him Doctor Ashen.

[u/PPStudio]

I easily love this moment and just recently remembered it on the occassion. But I have never noticed the fact that he also has a set of printer ink bottles next to his oven.

[u/Wheredoesthetoastgo2]

If he hadn't had gotten that beer bread, he would have fried the board! Bet whoever did was a handsome genius guy

[u/[deleted]]

I have a decent collection of arcade games, but I have yet to use the oven for storage

[u/whythai22]

He might have done the board a favor actually, since you can reflow a motherboard by baking it in the oven.