Poundland Food Special - All Day Breakfast | Ashens

[Music] it's Poundland special time again why do I do this to myself yes every so often I go in Poundland and try and locate food items of dubious quality and I've got some courses for you today maybe I don't know I haven't actually tried them yet the first one is from our new best friends at hunger breaks people who watch my extras channel which would be all of you go subscribe now then you can find the previous video about something a bit like hunger breaks all-day breakfast what is even on the front what is that what is that what is that it looks like a tomato made of dead animal deep breaths hunger breaks all day breakfast with a cup of tea with a teabag stuck in it mm-hmm because all day long you're desperate to eat your breakfast of congealed carrot is that it looks like something the dog is spewed up just before it dies deep breaths calories 450 23% of your daily recommended dose of calories in this tin that is indeed an all-day breakfast what keen an all day breakfast stuff is over I never really want em so fried food first in the morning but that's just me tell him I also don't want any of this baked beans in tomato sauce with sausages button mushrooms chopped pork and egg nuggets chopped pork and egg nuggets with cereal that's arrivin and bacon please don't tell me that supposed to be bacon this is gonna hurt right um yeah ingredients is mostly beans there some Tomatoes and there's like a small amount of water pork and sausages in there and things and no day this is gonna be bad the one I had of these before was really quite monstrous it was sort of flavorless beans and utterly anemic jellified semi meat stuff I have a horrible feeling this is going to be very similar right how do we cook it empty contents into a suitable container cover and vent microwave on full power for three minutes staring halfway through luminous one minute blah blah blah reven I'll see you in about four minutes I have this weird feeling that microwave gave me a stare of pure hate as I put this in anyway that's not the one that's gonna eat it ready do only what it smells like the answer is very weak beans oh yeah look at that mm-hmm and that children is what a Fox's [ __ ] looks like dear Amit yep that's the kind of meat quantity we're dealing with here it's just like Jilly even the meatballs look obvious about that play-doh I don't know supposed to be the egg or something in it no idea looking just go through it with the side of the fork as if it's nothing because it mostly is I imagine these are not made from the best parts of the animal in fact I suspect there is a disturbingly high percentage of scrotum and labia in this stuff anyway let's try some beans beans though it looks a bit less anemic the other one there was some sort of coloration to this the beans are they're not great yeah same as the other one sort of mostly flavorless in fact flavorless is pretty much all you can say to it they taste pretty much of nothing but don't worry because there's a couple of button mushrooms I like mushrooms in general now I'm totally sure about this one and get a look at that well that tastes like a small mushroom that's been boiled in a load of very low-quality sauce because that's pretty much what a tease you know I'm in bits of sausage yeah I can't think of anything to say about this isn't gonna make me gags or just eat it Wow I'm slightly worse I think of n these sausages from the previous that's amazing it's just like jelly with a hint of meat deeply deeply unpleasant unpleasant and troubling so let's try the meatball thing probably might have egg in it that's basically the same as that except slightly slimy er oh it is going well isn't it right I think this will therefore be bacon presumably what's resemblance this has to bacon now I'm not sure they can not normally that slimy and floppy when I eat it and I'm putting this off okay another bit [Music] different texture in that it has some amazingly zero flavor this actually look at less flavor to it than the pointless excuse for sausages and the meatball things absolutely astounding there we are so if you've got a pound to spare and you particularly want to eat something so bad that it makes you appreciate every other meals the rest of your life I cannot recommend this highly enough let's just put that over there near the bin and somewhere a bit high so the dog can't get it although frankly he looks a bit worried by right next the good thing is there's nothing else by hunger breaks oh wait I lied apparently they're doing something in a pot two hot pots new classic beef bolognese pasta when they're putting classic in inverted commas that's not a good sign one and a half minutes done you have been minced beef and a polonaise sauce with pasta yeah thanks I'm very aware of what some valen eise's information storage bla bla bla produced in the UK if you're not completely satisfied with the quality of this product we're not freaking surprised ingredients not much of any use eight percent minced beef ninety-two percent something unpleasant um how do we cook it pull off plastic leagued and keep to one side okay that's probably not supposed to happen it's now a naked tin right look it's like some sort of space meal from the year 3000 BC again we pull off plastic limit or side pull the ring to remove methylate great what does that smell like Jesus Christ you did not know oh that's really not good um probably Roma's heated I hope replace plastic lid on pot and place the middle of microwave heat on high for one and a half minutes staring halfway through I'll see you in one and a half minute during the last 20 seconds of microwaving it my terrifying banging noises I don't know who's trying to escape or something or maybe it was the microwave suppressing a gag reflex anyway have a look at this beauty apparently some pastor in it yep there kind of is I think that's technically pastor could be the entrails of some strange animal from another dimension and maybe that's what pastor is and the government's been lying to us all this time who knows all I know is if I can keep making up weird stories I haven't got to try heating it because it really doesn't smell particularly bolognesi also that I mean maybe there some mints in this kind of soup stuff it's floating it I don't know and there are sort of gritty lumps or something hurt em it doesn't seem to be a whole lot of actual mints as we understand it okay then here goes Bolognese Hawaii this is made by somebody with no excuse me yep couldn't actually swallow it and that was amazingly bad Wow I'm actually quite taken aback by that often these things aren't great but they're not usually quite that bad that was developed by somebody who clearly has no knowledge of Bolognese but quite a lot of knowledge of low quality dog food I think that was amazing I wouldn't no idea what that was supposed to be umm what I know it is supposed to be but there's no evidence to it in the actual food itself oh man deeply unpleasant left a sort of aftertaste of some sort of vaguely garlicky tomato II think almost the aftertaste is almost like bad bolognaise but the taste moves in your mouth I have no idea how to describe it without torturing somebody to death in front of you letting you listen to their screams and that would probably give you some idea of what it felt like in the mouth um so yeah not a big fan of that I think chef excellence could rustle up something better he's bloody fictional oh well at least we've got no more of microwave treats to go through our bloody hell and right I've actually encountered these before in the past little goblin pies then no they don't have real Goblin in them happy now um basically they used to come in little metal tins are used to heat up but this is the age of the microwave and the age of quite a lot of white dust and horrible some flour spills now something um ingredients water wheat flour beef onion beef kidney yeah cuz it's a steak and kidney pudding or as people's dads often say to a infinite hilarity snake and pygmy pudding shut up it's a bigger better value pudding mmm now I actually do quite like meat puddings and stuff and steak and kidney is okay not a massive fan of kidney but I don't mind it in a pie looks a bit mashed up in that one you know I do like the sorcerer pudding outside I'm not entirely sure how this is gonna go though honestly believe from I remember these these used to be quite good so maybe this will help us made in the UK by Simpson Reddy Foods Limited they're the people that make that purple mush they used to eat on there the first series of The Simpsons right established 1910 threw away all scruples 2010 I've got no idea let's find out shall we microwave in 90 seconds what the exactly carefully run a sharp knife around the rim of the pots to remove the film later that's a bad thing I don't know if I'd trust most people who buy this with a sharp knife then put the pudding on to my bail plate open and down heat on full power 90 seconds of watch the pot lift off the pudding I was gonna say do you take the top off but no it takes itself off that's slightly worrying leave to stand for 30 seconds as the pudding will be hot thanks for pointing that out right see you in 90 seconds humph it hasn't risen off the top like it said it would in the instructions this disappoints me ok here we go that's better looking a bit better as well that's awfully hot I should probably leave this 30 seconds or so before actually placing it in my goal but so let's cut it open a bit it's good your squad yeah yeah we got inside mashed up steak and kidney but not a lot of it and that was only a quid but blimey um you know but there's an awful lot more kidney than steak in there as well right I'm gonna make this into something I can actually eat and yeah give it a few seconds this is a bit hot what should we talk about in the meantime I'm just gonna fix my eyes forward and try not to look at the things I've got to try for dessert why do I do this to myself oh yeah because it's still more fun than answering the phones at the job centre right let's blow on this to stop it reaching into my mouth with its hotness and destroying my head okay let's try it yeah piraeus then it's not great I've got to say there's a slightly sort of overdone taste to the pudding part and the inside isn't that great and it doesn't actually taste of you know steak and kidneys that's what it is it's better to not have much of it than have some god-awful jellified mess like we got in the teen I suppose but yeah compared the other things we've had particularly the bottom a stuff this is perfectly acceptable mind you to be fair cracking your own face open on the pavement is probably acceptable compared to eating that polonaise so yeah that's fine well doesn't Goblin we salute your gobbled annoyed tendencies and look they do other flavours as well well one other flavor meat and gravy pudding what put me off was that it doesn't specify what the meat is generally it would say pork or beef or horse or goblin or whatever but no just meat actually what is it according to the ingredients water wheat flour beef in lard authorized protein asked my favorite type of protein mm-hmm fair enough well I'm not gonna try that I've had plenty enough for these things for one day and frankly I'm slightly scared I'm going to die right I'm gonna clean this away then on to dessert hey I wish I was dead so time for something sweet to take the taste away or indeed I have a much worse taste I'm completely cheating here cos and none of these items are from pound land to my knowledge they were all sent to me from America I believe by various different people or maybe they were all sent by one person who is the greatest monster who ever lived I honestly don't know but anyway here's a blue lollipop with a weird face on it lollipop artificially flavored here really thanks for pointing that out I never would have guessed nutrition facts don't want to know actually citric acid is in the ingredients along with lactic acid corn syrup it's basically acid in corn syrup [Music] feels like it's really horrible why is its mouth melting that's just freakish it's is it good like one vampire tooth or something it's supposed to be like an ice lolly bow which was sticky and unpleasant and probably been out of date for various years there's something slightly worrying about its face as well really isn't it I think that face is possibly the last thing that several people have ever seen okay what does it taste like hundreds of fingers that was a sticky adorable I don't even know that's supposed to taste of is like a rush of chemicals and sweetness which does their pretty much tie in with meister of the ingredients well i'm not impressed by that at all it looks now steve it doesn't taste very good but don't worry instead we've got a luau sugar cookie what is this creature i see what was that thing um Mel Gibson said hello sugar tits yet this must be what he was referring to um ingredients love oh my goodness it reads like a chemistry experiment for very advanced students and there's a thing on it it's just a picture of a pink flamingo that's not a good sign this cookie it especially has a stick in it I've just realized my what a cookie have a stick in it and is apparently by John Waters anyway snip-snip like cellophane or something around it that really doesn't look particularly good cookie dough them no she snapped in half of the waist which is always a bad start to a date come on oh it's all just disintegrating into there she did not survive the carbon freezing process oh dear well let's eat part of her head and see what it tastes like oh man that's bad oh the taste slightly off just of chemicals and moist oh I had something one of these two specials is very similar to that that's bad no dearie me yeah I have to get the vacuum cleaner out later you know how when I tell you what love is to be far better a macaw on a stick no I don't know either similar stick to this thing actually winter it's the same company fun fact card and tattoo inside brilliant just what I want I want this tattooed on me so everyone can see that I've eaten it all well let's see what this one's like macaw fun facts a macaw has an average lifespan of about 60 years some macaws can fly up to 40 miles per hour the cause can mimic human speech not fun at all Liars only look at this little tattoo over macaw and loads of purple blood or something here that makes sense right here on the parrot face let's eat some of your head chewy not much flavor to it but the flavor is is vaguely Pleasant actually unbelievably this is the pick of the litter so far by far the nicest we're still pretty bad but it doesn't taste like it dried up there's something wrong with it all that little Billy just made it with his Christmas chemistry set so that's all positive hey we are sit over there and nurse your gaping head wound and finally we do have a little something else dizzy daisies artificially flavored candy I suspect this is similar to that blue lolly thing but the great thing is you can pretend you're a surveyor before you eat it mmm length ingredients sugar glucose syrup water citric acid artificial flavors color added toxic just don't save yourself no he's really supposed to eat this perhaps you not trust you are supposed to spin it round and be amused by yeah it's just right isn't exactly the same as the yeah well no it tastes tears the sort of artificial lemon flavor very pronounced lemony taste so it's a lot better than the horrible blue thing over there still not great though I would not be recommending this to anyone who actually wants something to put in their mouth and digest oh dear well that's enough Claire I think quite enough of that for a considerable amount of time through after that I need a bloody holiday I think oh I've been a holiday for s six years I don't know where to go where's a good place to go on holiday look help me out here people you're watching this give me answers Jonathan where did you go at Christmas for Christmas I went to my grandmother's house it was really good time Garret lots of do we need presents well that's no good I can't go to your grandmother's house and I'm Noah that'd just be weird Aaron what vacation have you taken recently my last holiday was MCM Expo packed in May the MCM Expo was a holiday do you live in a war zone or something bloody hell anyway I can recreate my MCM experience but just throwing a load of money down a hole and staying at home was being rude to myself Michael where have you been last week I went to a place called cologne which is a country called Germany whilst they all played lots of very new and exciting games I know I was there and it was work not a holiday wasn't going well at all Katie what have you been up to the last holiday I went one was Tyree in the Inner Hebrides and it was so boring that we had to invent our own game called jump the job' in which all we did was jump over sheep traveling to the Outer Hebrides and repeatedly jumping over sheep [ __ ] isn't really on my to-do list I've got to say Harvey where did you go now you see that's just weird I'm really not keen on having kids inexplicably plummeting into something I'm trying to eat actually my cousin Steven went to Japan a few months ago and visited a mega or a fault Steve mate how did that go bloody hell he's not gonna find shoes to fit nice sorry I don't know what to do I think I'll just stay at home and get drunk one of the last holidays I went on was Center Parcs in France it wasn't too bad quite nice we bought one of those underwater cameras that you could use in the pool and we lost it first day I got it back a couple of days later after I found a lifeguard sitting playing with it and I said to him that it was mine and I got it back it wasn't till we got back to England when I had the camera developed that we found out he'd been sat there taking pictures of his penis

Channel: ashens

Views: 3,660,982

Rating: 4.8819547 out of 5

Keywords: Poundland, food, tin, all day breakfast, sausage, meatball, pork, bacon, beans, slime, indigestion, bolognese, microwave, pot, horrible, yuck, steak and kidney pie, goblin, lollipop, cookie, macaw, holidays, Junji Ito

Id: Aueah-mOjDI

Length: 21min 25sec (1285 seconds)

Published: Sat Aug 25 2012

Reddit Comments

[u/EnlightndOne]

Why is he eating on a cushion?

[u/LegitHolt]

Why is my mouth watering?

[u/b0dhi]

Pretty funny: -

mince as we understand it

and

mmmm...length

[u/Andrebatman]

had to stop when i realized it was 2am, i dont wanna reevaluate my life just yet

[u/Rich-P]

Yay, Ashens! I love his reviews of cheap knock off toys. I always find myself looking in wonder at these toys whenever I'm in a poundland/99p store. He buys them so I don't have to. What a guy!

[u/[deleted]]

Love Ashens, he makes me proud to be British. Every time I pass a poundland I feel an urge to salute and remember the fallen who died from eating the food there. And if you think this is bad you should see some of the things I used to buy when I was broke. For example I used to buy a massive can of curry sauce for 5p a can from Tesco, I guess that's about 10 cents? You would think the can alone would be worth that much... Oh well, it made good curry. But god knows what it was made out of.