Monster Factory: Exploding Shepard's Face Bones in Mass Effect 2

justin we can rebuild him who the space space shepard he got he got his ass blown out a ship and frankly when god opens a door to an airlock and blows you out of it then he opens a window for you to fly into and be reborn anew in the monster factory dungeon well grab it if we're going to ship we better shop hard let's do this this is approx by the way this is what it looks like behind the scenes every time we do a monster factory there's uh bone scans we do some there's robots with needles on them we get deep into like the tissue and we plug into it and tiny microbots fix the heart and lungs um it's very scientific why i don't know why they put all this work into it but they should have just put a message and said we forgot what your guy looked like can you please fix him again we forgot okay it's been a long time you forgot to so a lot of people have been asking us to do mass effect 2 and i've been hesitant to do mass effect any mass effect because frankly i don't think it is a great fit for the monster factory brand i don't think there's that what what sort of placeholder name can we give mr shepard here um jack that's the best you got no but like you're not ready for my best how about truck truck shepard i don't think that mass effect has an especially robust character creation system um not only that you have to like hack the hex editor in order to like get console commands working and even then the console commands aren't very fun so like we can't like spawn a million dragons or anything like that right um but fortunately so you're saying it's a pointless pointless worthless game unless unless we can dive into the code like a magic school bus okay and ruin it from the inside out i like that griffin because it's we're going outside we're ha we're seeing the matrix basically for what it is that's exactly what we're gonna do we're taking a big juicy bite of steak and knowing that it's all one and zero the blue steak and the blue stick get the blue steak we're gonna eat the blue snake coming back 2017. if this series had a name another name it would be no middle sliders because that's how you do it that is true see this is what i want the slider goes from here to here when for monster factory ideally i would want it to go to about here in this right that's the problem that's the zone and then back down to here i don't feel anything if i do it like this this is the most realistic this is the closest i've ever gotten to kissing somebody and i don't find that profoundly disturbing this is like this is the technique you use too it's like damn wash goes in space anybody want to go on a space kissing adventure with me my name is truck you ever been to the star hey let's go have a jupiter makeout i need to find a kiss partner where are you hiding hair oh see this is tricky this is what i'm talking about this is case in point mass effect gives you like six hairstyles yeah none of them are especially hilarious so like a lot of people talk about uh that was this one makes him look like kind of a greasy boy this kind of gives him a landing strip to kiss town don't you think like for people to tell he should navigate from his chin to his mouth here comes the airplane right there i feel like we've actually made a decent monster out of these this limited tool set that's a great thing about uh physical beauty if you mess we if you put enough normal components together eventually you will find something you'll you'll fall into that uncanny valley eventually uh what class i'm gonna go with sentinel um sorry no vanguard is the only choice that's the only acceptable class uh he has to have had a pretty horrific whatever the worst one is that's what happened to him uh slavers slaughtered his family and friends uh yeah sure yeah yep that was me yeah family slaughter yep sounds just about right ruthless don't even need to read the other [ __ ] truck shepherd a ruthless vanguard colonist from spice i mean he's okay right he looks like he could be a space hero um he looks human adjacent yeah um look at him it is weird to think though that this could also be like there is a reality in which this guy is the lead guy in mass effect like maybe some people who didn't like mass effect put this guy on the box this is that's what i want this guy is also a guy that could be the lead character in mass effect when the game doesn't give you the tools you need to fully express yourself vis-a-vis character creation there's only one thing you can do what is that griffin jack into the matrix so this is the gibbs save editor for mass effect 2. and i want to do all kinds of fun stuff okay um but for now what i want to do is sort of grab my dude's whole situation directly by the bones i want to grab his bones one by one and i want to destroy his whole scene we have access to 32 discreet face bones inside a truck this is way off the grid right oh dude we are so deep i have broken the factory warranty on truck shepard truck shepard's body could not be returned to best buy they will not give me store credit even all right so um oh god the possibilities justin they're so delicious now you won't actually see what has happened no and that's what makes it so exciting it's a gosh a pawn only a guy's face a geisha pawn a guy all right jawbone make that a nine we'll make you an 18 and you i don't even know what the z is this time i don't know oh man oh god oh bazinga oh my god oh i hate it oh i hate it get it off the screen i hate his kissing days are over he's a pelican now he is that's really i don't like it chomp you fade human back man too upsetting too fast we need a slow slide into 18 shaw let's let's tweak these down a little bit let's make it a little bit more sensible i think eight's all around in the same category i'm not like a math magician or anything like that but i think if you make all the numbers the same thing then it's not a numberologist i do believe that numbers hold the secret to our future sure uh and what if we give him like one crazy big eye no whammies big money no whammies give me a human big money no whammies oh oh oh oh oh oh what uh uh uh oh no whoops oopsie daisy oh no uh oh no oh no oops oops a daisy put this one back in the oven it needs time to cook oh whoops-a-doodle yikes it's the worst what is he doing i have no jokes he's ashamed of god look i can save you grab my chin grab my lips no i can taste you be careful with my weird exposed eyeball that's a sweet point don't worry jacob i got you what is that i never thought it went in like this oh god oh god oh no i am a work in progress god's still figuring me out do something with those eyebrows to get them on fleek i want them like off the head oh i see i see just kind of like protruding i'm gonna put in a prediction here because i still have no idea what i'm doing but i think that this is gonna make them sort of uh flank his head like two jet fighters sort of protecting the air force one okay um cheek left and cheek right it looks like okay yes we're just very very very subtle tweaks here that like with the hand of uh with the hand of michelangelo just kind of nudge it for just a nudge ooh just a skosh very delicate touches very delicate brush strokes i got out my fine brush for this one you just nudged him i nudged his look i did some detail work i hated it worse than any other creation i hate no not worse than swordface this is that no you're right this is the worst thing i've ever sword face on a nice taco date before i wakes a second with pig man i hate him if it was just a pig man that'd be one thing but it looks like somebody made one of those [ __ ] shoe measuring things uh jammed up to his head i want to put my heel in there give me the time it's a 10 and a half wide you think if you go in there now jacob will just throw himself off the balcony oh hey let's crank the head size up by two just apply that that's important that's why a lot of these have looked so bad i didn't like what the eyes did so i am going to have anything i wanted to have kind eyes that you can fall into or kind eyes that have fallen out of him you know i was thinking with all the flexibility you have here i i can't stop thinking about the fact that you could create a per like i'm not saying we should do this but given enough time and enough uh patience you could create a perfect ray romano like a note perfect captain shepard ray ramon well justin little do you know this whole time that is actually exactly what i've been doing and here's raymond it's like none of the things i put in actually did anything but he still turned out really dope what if i never took cover while playing the entire time as space romano what would be the point i mean honestly it looks it looks human-ish yeah i don't love it yeah i think once you get past the um the his amazing face and the size of his head and how that's amazing and perfect i think he it doesn't have a lot of staying power let's see if we can break mass effect okay i'm gonna do i'm gonna put in 22 on a number but you gotta give me a number between 1 and 32 and then i'll uh i'll uh i'll drop a 22 somewhere in there and we'll do that five times and that'll be justin's special boy that'll be justin's special creation because i feel like maybe you haven't had enough agency in this process uh seven thirteen uh next one twenty-four lip corner left three number three i blink right i don't even know what eye blink is one head bass oh this could be bad i feel like we're really getting deep down into the dna right into the core but i guess we'll make x 22. yeah i noticed his head's big again my voice my beautiful boy with arms wide open until the sunlight holy holy [ __ ] his head it's the letter l he's got a secret this is it we're playing mass effect baby you think this is what bioware intended um for you to download third-party software and then and hack this thing grab the bones of their protagonist and just sort of do a quick hand drive inside of his face skin i've come for you jacob jacob it is me jacob bob his blinker parts are like two sharp beats absolutely the worst absolutely the worst who are we going to romance in this run i hate good luck fight if you'll fight him off with a stick they will fight me off with a stick just sort of instinctively just sort of like muscle memory i worry that maybe the camera work is going to leave something to be desired because of how big his head is like the camera won't be able to to handle it yeah they won't be able to like savor the flavor with your permission i'd like to make a quick change yeah go right ahead holy [ __ ] holy [ __ ] holy [ __ ] did you do holy [ __ ] i thought holy holy [ __ ] what did you think you were fixing holy [ __ ] you gave him a [ __ ] it looks like a a model ship for a head holy [ __ ] you're gonna burn your computer holy [ __ ] let's just do it if you're gonna go to town right you might as well go into lincoln are you using that same design though oh yeah the design is perfect what please love please love trump please love love truck now please yes please love truck truck has one blink mouth i can't wait to the cosplayer to start picking up on this one this should be bad oh okay this is we can deal with this yeah we can work with we've made a [ __ ] vaguely lawnmower man-esque but we can this is this is doable do you know how bad it is how bad like our afternoon has been that i look at this truck and i think yeah not too bad dust dust him off maybe a little little fresh spit shine little fresh coat of paint a little odd to toilet yeah i'm quite a little gentleman going here i actually the more i look at truck the more i think he's actually the perfect warrior well there's no time for like human relations no no this will be a no romance run no time for romance i'm still trying to figure out how my face works i feel like jacob's gonna be happy to see this iteration of truck after what jacob's been through oh thank god i i at least that's a lip and that's a lip and those are cheeks so we at least have that go oh man he's still right up on him though wilson's just on face huh listen wilson is responsible for your reconstruction he knows exactly what he did giving you six discreet facial dorsal fins the subtitles are what he's thinking but they what they the only there they react who's like what what did you say let me get me get you a piece of chalk hold on that's good that's just good fashion right there shepard we're having some sort of communication here i see you're drinking from a cop i've never done that my fluid is sent to me in special bags by a space company for special faces i have to pay them 700 of my 800 space book paycheck every month just for 10 punch bags those are bags filled with punch for special faces in earthen times they were called capri suns you could buy them for three dollars now they're called special face life bags they are a nutrient slurry you do not puncture them with straws but with your ear teeth i taste with my skin how do you taste i have two different smell senses oh let's level them up chuck you've got a secret haircut underneath your your grease your greasy boy haircut it look yeah it looks like he's shedding he's shedding his original and i think he's grown a new nostril since the last time we saw him justin do we dare to dream what are you gonna do griffin i'm gonna rip the limiter off what are you doing you have to run this behind me you can't just do whatever you want no i'm going to make his head look like an asterisk you're gonna okay so you looked at truck he who shall be called truck and your reaction was eh i've seen weirder i've seen weirder today what if you mess up all the values so much he just turns out very handsome that's the dream right i right now i'm kissing the frog that's what i call hacking the matrix like it seems that your computer should not allow you to continue to do this at some point ethically what you're saying i feel like at some point you're in violation of some sort of infringement on just like god in the whole thing this one's gonna get real no oh my god oh god oh god oh oh my god if hp lovecraft saw this right now he would [ __ ] his pants to death oh it looks like stephen king's dick exploded looks like wes craven took a dump into a box fan just stand in the fire is he the right thing oh my god no he can't be killed oh my god it's he's unkillable griffin he's gonna jump through the computer screen and kill you don't don't even joke about that they're gonna they're gonna find my body in the morning underneath a dream catcher jacob sees you and he instantly winks out of existence because if you're human what is he man sorry about that he's got a face you could tie a boat to whom i feel like this has been an unconventional monster factory um how do you mean because i'm gonna have nightmares at the end of it yeah no it's definitely the scariest monster factory that we've ever done uh but i feel like we spent the whole time just sort of uh honing whatever this is this isn't even truck anymore this is something new entirely truck was a beautiful dream that you and i once shared about a space-faring kiss boy who is just a nightmare that chuck's nightmares had right exactly this is this is he has gone into the matrix as well and for some reason i keep shooting these robots in the dick so that's one of whatever this is guys is his fascination he's a robot dick collector it's my favorite angelia jolie movie or we could just call him truck because there is no truck anymore that is true whatever this thing is it has taken over trump so we can call it in our existence that we were reserved for oh my god that was the worst angle of him so far i didn't think they could get any worse it's like the movie the fly if instead of a fly in the chamber with jeff goldblum it was like a big bowl of pasta salad or something his name is a chuck shepherd and his rating is unknowable his face is unknowable his his design is unknowable his creator is unknowable i don't even just i think at some point the reigns of this project were were taken from us and give it to truck and given a truck i think he is mimetic i think he is self-designed i think he's self-aware what if miranda just disappeared and then like the chairs started to disappear oh how scared would you be if arana disappeared and then he did like an achingly slow turn to camera and just stared at you yes he looks like seven pterodactyls like this not like this

Channel: Polygon

Views: 1,869,586

Rating: 4.9503112 out of 5

Keywords: gameplay, lets play, polygon, videogames, vox media, Mass Effect 2 (Video Game), Action Role-playing Game (Video Game Genre), Video Game (Industry), Monster Factory, Mass Effect (Video Game Series), BioWare (Video Game Developer), Mass Effect (Video Game), Commander Shepard (Fictional Character), monster factory shepard, monster factory mass effect, monster factory mass effect 2

Id: bn4x_BRqIpI

Length: 24min 12sec (1452 seconds)

Published: Mon Jul 13 2015

Reddit Comments

[u/VaginalBloodFartz]

The Mcelroy brothers? Yes please.

[u/revpermin2400]

What they have done here today is unethical, and what they have done to Truck is unforgivable.

[u/someguyN7]

Justin's laugh is hilarious. Their creation was an abomination haha.

[u/[deleted]]

Thank you for sharing this, it's a true piece of art. Any LI would be proud to love Truck Shepard, hero of the galaxy.

[u/Toshistation38]

Uh oh! Uh.. Uh oh! Ohhh no! Ohhhh no. Uh... UH OH!