Monster Factory: What If Dark Souls Were Made Of Pizza?

alright let me tell you about my family Justin I was at Arby's yesterday and I had my delicious meat meal right I had some of my favorite sandwiches a selection of my faves and when I was outside of the Arby's and by which I mean I behind the Arby's I took rack back door out um I ran into a woman who was an older woman I would say and she's wearing a dark purple robe and she had sort of a gnarled old face with like some natural fung fungal growth on it okay and she handed me a disc of the video game Dark Souls and so earlier and she said play this in your monsters Factory and I think it's just the single it's just one monster right and she chided me um and she said I had basically belong and shorted this whole story is I went to Arby's and I got my favorite sandwiches and then a some sort of which said I had to play this disc of Dark Souls this this game tape or else I'm being cursed forever oh wow and be dragged to hell I love this font by the way this on-brand font this I mean I don't know man you'd have to take it up with the Arby's wish um but let's just hop right into it and do a monster factory Dark Souls because I think we can like have some fun well that's weird it is so weird and then uh and that theme song can we put the theme song up because I'm pretty sure it's Snoop Dogg and dr. Dre's the next episode yeah that is definitely next episode um let's not worry about like some of the strange things that we've seen so far and let's just like hop into uh let's just hop into character creation because that's like the the Arby's meat of the monster factory brand okay what's her well just cuz it does look like the Sheila's pizza I'm sure that's just like how the rust on that shield grew and grew yeah yeah he loved it under some wet plates yeah I got mold yeah it makes sense it happens I mean maybe it's just like burnished and that maybe like he blocks some fireballs and they just like burned in on the metal of the shield okay great okay that's weird that's weird like a slim Goodbody was demonstrating that you are all pizza that's it that's what it looks like and it could just also be like a really really rough condition like some dry nerve agent some sort of toxin I want to point out that I had all these grand plans to do Dark Souls but then I realized that there wasn't a very good character editor I thought this was it little did I know that you could further customize it through this menu and I was dabbling with these things like there's a random face option and you know how exciting that is to me but it still wasn't many options little did I know there's a third submenu it is its sub menus all the way down Dark Soul Wow anyway let's get wild we just came on the one I don't know that we're getting extreme results though well I mean we're kidding the thing is well well hold on spoke too soon oh one safaris gonna get hands to begin I'm worried that I'm where the different isn't really gonna give us let's let's I know we're know middle sliders but I think same is not going to get crazy different is not gonna like know how to [ __ ] up the current the current fatal zone enough all right so we can now you just sort of follow the path you're really hammering on that button oh man it's like I'm playing [ __ ] Mario Party minigame The Wizard over there should I get to California oh wow we're getting somewhere fun looks like the face of the Teletubbies son oh that looks like Kabuki theater it's as Freeza spooky kabuki pizza skin man don't like it I do like it though okay wait wait that that's kind that's kind of good that's kind of good what's I mean what's the fiction that we're going for that our contrarian me is like like a crunch Murray came to life while watching this is like the worst it's like that and the negative Oscar for worst short animated film goes to this alright don't do any more goofy mobs here this is really good stuff this really good work I love that look at him looks like he's like he's being permanently pinched by Grandma like to Grandma's to cream I just came in and just Drew and quartered him I'm assuming that whatever this Arby's which version of Dark Souls is I'm a diamond you know obviously I haven't explored it but it seems to have like an emphasis on pizza should we just go ahead and make the noid oh my good like annoyed for a modern generation a modern oi like a modern take on the avoid the noid was that Domino's yeah it was a Domino's hit thing I kind of liked the idea of this this annoyed when he comes into you just let's call it what it is he breaks and enters into your house and attacks your family I don't want him to have like a fun look on his face because I'm in many ways I'd find out more upset yeah that's true yeah we want a nice relaxing uh home break in he just has black like cold black eyes like a doll's eyes okay this is gonna be a scary man that's gonna be bad to see yeah I think so hard so our men have been like fun like haha like a goof um up this one will be a bad man to look at and he'll be bad to see and take in with the eyes acuity is like a modern sleek Lloyd reboot I'm really liking that what would would he still be called annoyed or I mean be called something like [ __ ] Lloyd calm or something yeah Lloyd our hashtag annoyed this is the resdac note we had we had a the first of probably what will be many system memory issues you're trying to process are bees which Dark Souls this is just as good of annoyed I give you better annoyed yeah I mean if what did I say about shitty first drafts this is gonna be this is gonna be a huge improvement all shitty first drafts belong in the doodoo bin Ernest Hemingway that's true son is tombstone which is weird that they would let you put the word shitty on a tombstone like kids yeah kids could be having this Cemetery kids playing this graveyard mister well I actually like this annoyed much better thank you yeah I'll take this annoyed any day of the week I I have pizza upstairs I wasn't worried about it before yeah like I am now I want to go check out my pizza huh some challenging stuff we've never really explored lip play here at the monster factory but I want to get really silly with it wow this changes a lot of things look it is the beautiful scamp that that almost looks like a mummy jaw um and then we have to pick a class so obviously I've been thinking about this a lot like the noid is kind of a thief right except it doesn't take the PC just kind of ruins it maybe that makes him more of a bandit I mean he's certainly deprived and there we get like a wow look at that [ __ ] juicy ass he does there's actually no ass there yeah it's negative ass then another a snowing got his ass like a noise it just loves asses yeah I think the class that makes the most sense though is the pizza man sir class because you get ok that's not real you get magic right the beginning of the game and your stats elevate very quickly and it also is just sorta not some thumb at eclis appropriate for the noid this isn't the Dark Souls than I remember this is my grandfather's Dark Souls no it's it's your grandmother's Dark Souls if your grandma was a witch that hung outside the Arby's okay now oh no oh yeah we have what okay well I see a few issues just sort of like there um what's the one what it can you enumerate the issues and just like well can you tell me like what's bothering you well let's start with the UI okay it looks like Angry the souls games have always had kind of a like the UI there's just way better ways to sort of get that information across yeah but like specifically in this one you know I think you can see pretty plainly there you've got on the bottom right a rupees indicator I am in it and that's actually you know what Justin you're right that's not from the original Dark Souls that is a change and then I think another change might be uh the C buttons on the UI oh no I'm lying I'm playing with a GameCube controller so that's just it just pops those up alright well that's a pile of pizza well it's the no this is the is just a plan fine you have to access the bonfires in there basically like little checkpoints okay well alright alright under the helmets law I see four pizzas yeah that is weird actually yeah with the armor they're just for different pizzas um well that's what he's I mean that is what he's wearing like they do actually a pretty great job of real world world villain man in the floor has Pizza skin yeah well yeah that's and again another another unsolved mystery I guess there are some what I'm gonna go ahead and call framerate hiccups that I've been experienced I can't imagine why oh you Oh too slow is that is that the proper I don't remember all the dope strats okay okay okay okay all right yeah no I'm starting to think this is maybe an unlicensed pirate version I don't think this is how the game is supposed to look I'm pretty sure yes this blast never looked like a mountain Dew bottle I'm just gonna rip it and jacket oh [ __ ] yeah refreshment power energy strength bravery courage insulin how's your ass chopped up well I'll never know maybe I'll know in a few seconds hey everybody just calm down um wow this is going pretty rough I mean it does give me some time you like stuff this is like this is [ __ ] turn-based to hurt so it's active time battles here I was using the vac system there oh yeah got that big old pilgrim key for me big pilgrim where those birds I'm a feedom some pizza from a mouth chew it up spit it up in um give us cold give us just give us orbs got him staring happy pepperonis pepperonis well they're not there wait was this in the original game did the Arby's which hack in like a [ __ ] level cluesive area hahaha No now did not go loot accurate Wow golly that's a lot of Pizza that's a great deal oh my god there's a great wow this whole is a Pizza Kingdom just like a lot of Pizza there is he returning home or is this a conquest situation or did he fall into the dream of a ninja turtle it's impossible to say I remember there's secrets back here oh my god oh you guys are battling it out huh yeah we're doing a little trainer battle I want to see if his Pokemon can stand up to my Pokemon whoa well he's coming in seal the deal done I want to watch his final breasts up close yeah that's your essence mmm delicious as it looks like you should have avoided my ass is that enough to get another level in yeah I'm gonna name this level mark after the man I killed to get it what should I put mark into I mean faith would be appropriate but at the same time no way do a good job come on come on baby come on are you John maybe you or the computer the computer I do I am curious with that Steve Harvey item was have he picked up yeah yeah look at him he's here to protect me can you now that won't be in in uh oh my god having him down there makes me feel like he's like Navi like you could just ask him for advice wait listen it's me Steve Harvey Hey Oh didn't want to use a okay well yeah I'll slam a slice seems like a poor time to use it but whatever man I love these very very clever [ __ ] yeah Harvey strength why you can really get wow what a hi what up I got your glossy JPEG to see you two like this sweat you can see the the grease sweat the oregano on it look at that Fleck of oregano yeah yeah I'm starting to see where some of our pizza problems will come in this is art this tunnel has some like a pretty cool effects going on though yeah kind of a pizza - I would actually love to go down this is just actually probably what my like intestines look like at this point he just like some slow running water through a tunnel of Pizza Skeet I'm dead city might be equal bad oh it might even be more pizza a little baby okay this is almost exclusively Pete's yeah it looks like the areas that were made out of cobblestone and you know that more typical construction materials have been completely substituted here for high glossy pizza JPEGs which I love don't get me wrong I love looking at pizza I can look at pizza all day long it's just I'm worried about the gaming like yeah your desk is pizza homie hey man hey dude I want to tell you how to do your thing though your desk is pizza and you look really wicked hungry which seems weird to me thank you thank you kindly oh no what are you doing oh no not my katana you know it's a desk how could you do this to me mana you better hope you don't need more ass I mean yeah I won't but also I'm not too worried about [ __ ] all bones Ninja Gaiden over here I think I'm gonna be okay I gotta say the bosses are a whole lot less scary when their names are rendered in Comic Sans yeah that does help and when they're walking on a bridge made of pizza if you had an arming of hunger kids and this wouldn't even be a contest my half as health this is an easy gaming for children yeah we're basically dealing with Mario is missing okay yeah he's a pasta sauce the noid is like a beast he is unstoppable I'm glad that the RV's which had the good sense to leave some textures like yeah like barrel dot exe is still very much a barrel yeah I think she assumed I had like the new top of the line like Radeon 980 cuz she asked me actually when I was eating my sandwich I wasn't paying attention because I was like luxuriating in that beef but she was like you've got like that new Radeon 980 [ __ ] right that's one you're using a master cooler rig right that's the one has got that PPE right I'm about to send you on a pizza adventure but it's gonna produce a lot of heat the pizza processing unit side chip that doesn't seem right that's really inaccurate it's pretty indicative of Dark Souls that if you made the whole thing out of pizza and put Steve Harvey's face [ __ ] everywhere and switched out the buttons with C buttons and put in Mountain Dews health potions it's still better than 99% of all video games I would say it's better than 100% of the original Dark Souls well that that game - yes all right are these slight little framerate whoopsie daisies gonna keep me from crossing the finish line that is made out of fire from a dragon's mouth on this rail is there no bonfire over here there is I gotta run to it I think I gotta get the pizzas just kind of hides he's not and pure annoyed [ __ ] me holy [ __ ] oh yeah did they put into the Arby's which put in some sort of like sexy mod yeah giggles got those for Skyrim I think maybe one of those exist for this game as well it looks like the law like the pizza makes a lot more sense when a as near as I can tell his loin cloth is also made of pizza see ya that that does seem to be another pizza based promotional item it's a living that's a fun little thing I like to do love doing that is the fire pizza is over ball pizza it looks vaguely Pizza like let's say it I think it maybe I think it might just be a no I think it might just be a million pizzas that's pizza dog yeah that's a million pizzas oops oops is on you're out thanks for the souls thud did you want to [ __ ] around too or oh man looks like everybody's getting pushed off a bridge today just one of those days huh God what the [ __ ] that's not I mean this isn't this seems all right whatever all right [ __ ] the drake sword can't cut I hate to ask you but can you just like putting a hack to make your arrows like you a million damage I mean I could download a Meghan Trainor right now if you want me to is that the kind of video you want to make I mean we can get really no but you get really [ __ ] far in the game really fast no come on let's no here no that's a good idea let's cheat capture show the [ __ ] weakness we're gonna [ __ ] cheat let's do it right how to give up on Dark Souls why do most people quit because their brothers tell them to you weren't even a Dark Souls meghan trainor unlimited souls is that sound good Justin I'm a download they sell probably my computer even more viruses than Dark Souls are bees which Edition is already put on here but let's go crazy there's no way your computer will be able to stay the sort of like rendi and you say hey do you think this is the real download button or not whoa I've got a lot of souls Wow what kind of build should we go for uh cuz i was thinkin like Galactus or the consumer world yeah I'm killable yeah for sure come on [ __ ] yeah let's do it let's do it let's do it let's do it huh I mean once you do it it does but then get it out it does it oh sweet I mean it goes against my whole aesthetic but I know it doesn't their faces look so weird yeah I can't figure it out I mean the the the are bees which did warn me that should replace the faces of all the undead monsters with a high-res glossy PNG of Louie Anderson oh but that might be hard to I can't prove or deny it yeah man what if the walls are covered in Louie Anderson and their faces were pizza that's probably gonna easy fix I think Jay man in fact why don't we do a save and quit right here and see if we can't reach luck world 2-1 together yeah the Arby's which said it's a glitch in the game if you replay if you holy [ __ ] I've infinite items if you throw down an alluring skull and they're exactly the right out I'm doing a bit you throw down on learning skull in just the right area then it does a texture swap now is like campaign signs free of and pizza baked pizza don't worry Anderson this is my running mate pizza I take you know we're all a guards oh my god well I certainly haven't lightened the the loading load on this game thanks rolling such a glossy JPEG of high res texture hey Felix the worst huh hey sorry about all that excuse me hey thanks pal yeah yeah hey Lowell can you slide the pieces I'm like the back of a [ __ ] Shoney's menu makes the pieces kids it's fun you'll get a free 2% milk fix oh ha ha upside down loser hey it's me Louie I know you're about to fight a hard bar so here's a cheat code I think this version of Dark Souls is sick [ __ ] mo hey do battle on me great night don't spill any blood in my mouth just kidding do I'm nasty I've been nasty this whole time I can't believe I got an achievement for that I can't believe the game is rewarding me with achievements I'd like to make a run for a boss because I tell you what I think would be great what's that is if you could capture video a lesson beating a boss and then upload it as like a hints video yeah or beating that boss but make no reference attack but the walls are pizza and your shield is Steve Harvey and Louie Anderson is there too yeah and and that you have infinite help and every strike is a death blow all right well let's next time we get to a boss remind me and we'll just like do a live vo sesh on that yeah oh man oh that's a lot of boys I don't think they're gonna let me hit them no I don't think they're gonna let this happen seriously what no what the [ __ ] if in a health Dollard if in a health used to mean something my day when I plugged in a game genie and I tapped in all the numbers and letters and it said don't worry Griffi you're not gonna died that was a bond of trust game Keys let us down again watch playing Barse nightmare and I turn on infinite lives if I ran out of lives I would go back to eb games or Babbage's and I remember in the game genie excuse me Toys R Us can't speak to your manager I've got a faulty gene on my hands I need people to once the the monster factory FAQ gameplay walkthrough of the Capra demon blood loss human blood loss is funny this is marinara and FAQ Walker goes up I need everybody to like and share it with your friends but uh tell them it's a really great strategy and then everybody should really get on it and that has changed the way you see Dark Souls for holy [ __ ] you just got what is he okay he had like an extra boy on him oh my god these men are just monkeying around pizza silly boys you're using my body like a MacDonald play place oh now they're not yeah I know they're like I know we're cheating a lot in this Louie Anderson Pizza fantasy world but it's still really satisfying to kill dudes and Dark Souls yeah traverse this white light alright here we go alright so this is going to be a quick walkthrough on how to take down the Capra demon you might get hit by the wolf and the Capra demon and the other wolf right when you start out the fight don't even worry about that you want to get up these pizza stairs as quick as you possibly can and then roll off them and then that's going to confuse the Capra demon it's all about demon confusions to trick to this fight Justin got any pro strategies you want to share yeah if he leaves you in the opening you definitely want to take advantage of it watch his animations for any time it looks like he wants to be stabbed or you could stab him and he loved it um it's really important to have a nine million nine hundred nine thousand nine ninety nine Souls before going into this fight Capra demons going to see that number and he's going to be like just kind of confused by the whole time now the trick is in your first hit take away over half of his health bar you may be wondering how to do that you might say good for my DPS isn't high enough for the Capra demon fight and I say like I understand that it's time to hit go back to the the old kind of garage tiny rustic grind and but but it's important to take at least half his health with every sword swing and do not take damage if you take the image make sure it instantly refills now you want to try and get the camera inside of your character and this is going to be really important because if you can't see the Capra demon he can't see you now your pizza's slices may not be representative of humanity your humanity may not look like pizza slices in that case you're gonna want to make sure you have the latest patches downloaded those are updated really regularly and they really change the balance of the game Justin that's right and a lot of tips for giving you just aren't going to be functional in versions 1.7 through 1.9 yeah if your if yours if you have any differences other than what we're showing you you have a patch that has it downloaded and you definitely want to get in touch with named kovanda and let them know that you have a technical snafu on your hands um now what you want to do is get your gold pine resin ready you want to have 35 of them and face this wall and then just shake your head no no no I can't shake it no now you may see that and wonder like does that mean I can't use the item does this mean I can't use the item I'm worried about how many times the wolf is hitting me and that's totally fine hi I'm completely Donal uh this is a great strategy uh now it is really going to help the Slama do here if you do need any extra health and make sure that you do have the Steve Harvey shield before you enter this area you're going to find that in the upper lower undead bird puncture you stop by there and again don't worry about all the hits that you're taking here you're not gonna lose any help try to think about the hits that you're not taking any way you want to stand pretty close to a Louie Anderson symbol of power make sure you know scopin - yeah it's been really important and then you've got the key to the depth no problem and remind me again Justin where I take that key to the depths just to the depths yeah sure anyway that's it that's the whole end of the video for our Dark Souls strategy guide stay tuned we were having some trouble with the rest of the bosses but I think with enough persistence we're going to be able to crack this nut thanks for watching IGN rock did IGN where IGN and this is IGN if the noid is tasked with trampling pizzas yeah he has done he's literally doing it yeah he's doing I mean he does it all the time he hits pizzas with swords he sets him on fire he transposes pictures of Louie Anderson on to them well he didn't he didn't do that the RV's which did well that's oh now that no that happens from time to time the old annoyed does exist anymore this toy does yeah uh any destroys pizza like with a lot of efficacy and he's using a medium that's gonna connect with teens and kids that's video games not TV anymore no child's ever seen the TV yeah this I mean if anything this game has been me I guess hate pizza does annoy tape pizza no he just likes he prefers calzones I guess that makes sense yeah um how would you review this really fascinating art game version of Dark Souls that were playing um well I have a pretty specific scale of uh Family Feud hosts and ray combs kind of being at the bottom he did his best but just not like my fav yeah and then number one is Steve Harvey and on this I'm so glad to hear you say that yeah of course it looks like he's pointing to it um but on that scale I'm going to rate this a game and this is mainly just to get an image of it in the video I'm gonna rate him a Richard car yeah you oh my goodness what is that what is that evening

Channel: Polygon

Views: 1,561,669

Rating: 4.9364767 out of 5

Keywords: gameplay, lets play, videogames, Dark Souls, From Software, Souls, Monster Factory, McElroy, Justin McElroy, Griffin McElroy, Dark Souls 2, Dark Souls 3, Arby's, PC, Steam, Dark Souls: Prepare to Die Edition, Mods, monster factory dark souls, dark souls pizza, dark souls character creation, dark souls character customization, dark souls character

Id: _v1v0t8Q5xg

Length: 31min 20sec (1880 seconds)

Published: Mon Mar 07 2016

Reddit Comments

[u/[deleted]]

I hope they update the precious children graphic one day.

[u/MediumPotato]

Hey! Do battle on me brave knight!

[u/Quip_Qwop]

Shoutout to /u/JakeTheSnake5