Monster Factory: Randomly Generating Horrifying Faces in Dark Souls 2

Justin raaaah welcome to a new video series I've wanted to pilot on polygon comm our video game website not our video game but you give I mean my video game website ok that's fair called monster factory I wanted to do it for a long time and then dark souls 2 scholar the first sin came out and I sort of decided that this would be the best imaginable way to kick-off monster factory which will be sort of a celebration of user-generated human faces and video games and bodies I think we should get in right yeah we'll do that we'll explore the whole package the reason I want to do Dark Souls 2 scholars are first and obviously as a from software game so there's a there's a wide array of you know customization options I gotta say you're starting with a sweet boy yeah it looks like a sweet boy he looks very very kind we're gonna do something about that though um so you know you can you can do whatever you want with these tools in in terms of character creation tools they're pretty robust as far as they go what this game has in it that completely changes the game the monster factory game that we are inventing right now is the randomization option okay so you click this button right right and you get six sort of slightly tweaked versions of the face you're working with now now what we're dealing with here is like kinda different also right so they're changing it a little bit every time here's where here's where things get just magical with dark souls 2 scholar they're first in I'm gonna keep hitting the randomization button over and over again just picking the same sort of slot over and over again and we're gonna see what happens to this sweet boys sweet face together you ready so we'll just take it slow at first one step at a time okay okay alright features are kind of spreading out a little bit now they're coming back together in the center now they're really coming together in the center nose the starting to kanpei nose is starting to evolve face is starting to normalize a little bit now the face is getting a little bit calmer uh really chill face actually right now eyes our eyes are basically disappearing at this point eyes are almost gone eyes are almost dying eyes are almost gone eyes are gone eyes are now gone chin has started to turn into something completely non human eyes have now turned in verse are now looking inward nose is now taking up three-quarters of the face cheeks are disappearing cheeks are eroding cheeks are sloughing off down to the chin meat nose has become enormous and completely bulbous like some sort of it's like a Volvo on this person's face eyes have now become triangles like two viper fangs on this man's face my total total head height noses if this guy is now becoming Nigel [ __ ] Thornberry just do six real quick ones why would this why would this be how it works now do you think if you win it long enough you would get back to something approaching humanity no no no any shred of humanity that this thing one specifically looks like a gentle giant I'm into it I didn't make it do any of this no it just happened let's see what this [ __ ] gets us hey hey alright I'm kind of liking this let's start from scratch and see see if we can get a better roll let me know what you think he's had enough this is perfect right here it's like some sort of fish monster now looks like you just say the gusher in a gushers commercial said what liter what fruit could this possibly sour nope oh my god Oh now that's the that's a this is supposed to be a fun video series I don't think if we play through a part of the game as this we're gonna have any fun l know that this looks like a like from a dark version of Gift of the Magi where he sold his face to buy a gift and his and his wife bought him like a face scarf or something like a face a face Snuggie or something like that like oh dear I sold my face I know however I don't have it let's see what the game has in store for women and let it stand all right okay I'm kind of I'm kind of into this Oh let's give back just a little bit more just a little more slot five I see oh boy now it looks like a Zelda character brought brought to life it does yeah I got our dimension now this person has it's interesting the way that this person's face yeah and kind of a WC Fields Gin Blossoms type thing going on start like that should we do hair ahead of time because it doesn't seem to do a lot with the hair I think you got to find the hair that matches the face you end up with I'm gonna put a lot of stink on this one yeah I want it to be really foreign and alien to me Oh God I slowed down for a second yeah you can't you can't stop you get you already committed you thrown your head over the fence you have to have to keep going for it how's your day going well we're uh it was going better until I've been confronted with these grim visions of humanity stopped by sheets got some coffee you know the years it's funny all right let's see we got oh my goodness what is that what is that even okay this game rule well mister why would it even have these settings in there you know what it looks like it looks like Darth Maul we undercover at a high school hey you kids into the latest music I just ate some battery acid and put some in my nostrils why are his nostrils [ __ ] Chloe I don't like anything about this person I don't want us to it here's the thing in in monster factory the highly successful polygon video franchise now what I don't want us to make fun I don't want us to poke fun at our monsters I want us to love them like Lady Gaga loves her fans interesting it seems like no matter what we pick the there's there's sort of a singularity in the center of the face that sort of pulls all the features in there's a gravitational power to the nose oh oh no even universe now face is like making a break for it I'm out of this head no face for you oh god Justin Oh what is even happening his face is just triangles now it's getting way worse oh my god it looks like the the Soul Reaper why what is his hair is inside him now that's how bad this game has done it it's like the top part of his head is eating the bottom part of his head it looks like his eyes are trying to flank his nose help see here we go we're like this is how quickly the game is like oh you wanted a real about this you want real [ __ ] up in the middle with green lips right doing my best I mean you said random I kind of like the sad clown vibe that some of these characters have so very very pale yeah I like how in the world of Dark Souls 2 random means oh you don't want eyes right let's get rid of the eyes as quickly as possible I gotta say that that is getting very close to working for me yeah me too enjoying that ah look at that I like he's got around right it's down here I kind of he's starting to look almost a little bit like a cartoon turtle yeah like maybe a squirtle may-maybe that's the direction we want to go with this monsters we want to actually make squirtle from the video game Pokemon yeah that seems were good to me that's something we making but the most squirtle like well we got to get rid of that hair squirt I know here I'm gonna pull up a squirtle reference in another window just so I have something to score bill I know that pretty pretty round look look at that look at your tattoo but I have to a physique super buff squirtle is that are we are we into like a more streamlined sleek I'm hotter dynamic I am horrified search Google Image for super buff squirtle I mean you don't need to because this is going to be soon this is going to be on the Wikipedia entry for super buff squirtle and the problem is also you're gonna have to tweak those eyes out this world's got huge eyes Oh Jesse yeah you're gonna need to like blow out the eyes well uh man this might be tricky then I I mean that may be as good as it gets maybe we just do like a super chill squirtle like super duper duper high like I refuse to believe in all this oh I've given him it some sort of unicorn horn go back maybe under browse the squirrel have a unicorn horn in the middle of his head yeah I mean basically he does not know all right it would help if you could get I'll tell you what would be great if you can figure it out there though if you can knock those lips down they're just like a real thin line that would be that I can do that I can do that would be amazing mouths one lip fullness yeah dig all the way out and lips eyes I mean I mean I'm adjusting this it lit physic miss Lin thickness that's what we need and metamorphosizing this creature the game has cease to recognize those things on his mouth he talks with as lips oh yeah they're getting they're getting their occlusion uh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I tell you oh that's good that's real good um not really a pucker I mean a little bit of a pucker I guess I think that's just gonna continue to fold the mouth into itself I don't think you want to look like you just ate an atomic warhead no but that mouth is gone now this view makes it all the more terrifying how like obviously this face has just been sort of slapped on - yeah oh yeah fleshy exterior it looks like a temp face it looks like it like you took your face into the shop and they gave you a rental face yeah yeah yeah I mean no I mean no no no but but yes for our purposes his eyes look too sad for me I don't want to see that constantly so it's an out its bother me I bags yeah we don't let those why would that be the default get out of there get out of there I bags so this is art squirtle so far yeah is there a different build that you uh that one looks good to me this one for squirtle man yeah and physique again I have to keep asking do we want a [ __ ] completely jack totally ripped see this on the beach and you'll just barf your guts out because how many delts and Charles yeah I like that it feels like squirtle was granted a wish to walk on land as a man for a day okay that's what that's like that the the story that I wanna that I want to try to capture okay so this is squirtle what class would squirtle be hey let's see what's I mean like as naked as possible well that would be deprived I mean right you're saying he climbed out of the lake traded his voice traded his voice so he can't speak to a witch a witch this means I guess it's appropriate right I think he starts out with pound so just punching is going to be his mo until we find this guy a weapon I would have no way of knowing but yeah let's assume you're right but then again I also feel like a heavily armored class also kind of makes sense right because he's a turtle except it doesn't look as odd like where did he get it he climbed out of the ocean like I'm out of the ocean he strangled a bandit to death and took his clothes no that's not that's too far off message my one worry is that you're not going to be able to get out of the starting area well let's start myself off with a life ring okay good are we do we feel good about this No welcome squirtle we shall summon human out of the ocean he shall be the one to deliver us this turtle man this squirting turtle man we will use the last of our magics to summon this squirting turtle man from the depths of the ocean sister are you sure this isn't yes it's an excellent it's an excellent way to use the last of our magics are you sure because we could make some no tres really the squirting turtleman will be the deliverance from the darkness that is here in the world of the our souls the darkness of our souls too this is so this is so much better than the storytelling that's actually happening in the game mm-hmm have you considered moving to Japan and working for fromsoftware I must remember the ritual come on turtle you squirting turtle man calm and deliver our entire land I think it's gonna alright and we're off to the races he's hard to look at in the light I feel like his his pace eNOS is uh I don't know a lot more accentuated than I want to hate you with one thing squirting turtle man cut is summon from the ocean he's confronted with creatures he does not understand wouldn't the first thing that he did would just be to start attacking yeah yeah for sure he would feel so threatened by his by his uh situation I feel like the first thing he would do is just start taking swings now one of these women is the one that will let me Reese penned all my attribute points at some point in the game so I don't want to attack them oh is this going to be a long play for you are you the other playing the entire game right now you guys didn't tell you about that um but yeah he's scared this is this is not a violent act this is like he's scared he's a is there a scared emote no that doesn't necessarily that does not feel like squirrel to me no not doing a ton of damage yeah it's almost like he sucks but at least she's not swinging back oh wait a minute oh no no and I didn't even know that can happen we're finding new secrets already alright so this is now a boss guide this is how to take down spoon lady as squirtle you want to make sure not just use one fist you got to Wow she's doing big damage to you and you're not you are not as squirtle is not accustomed to our land fighting ways let's be honest well that's because he hasn't learned water gun yet I gotta get out of here nobody knows what happens if you die at this point I think you're just like getting the game over there we go No thank you deliver me deliver me back to my turtle creator now here's the question will she forgive you man I hope so cuz there's Chinese chess to that room I didn't get what if squirtle just hates treasure he doesn't trust anything inside a hard shell yeah exactly ironically he was kicked out of the squirtle squad and anything with her oh god no oh god I forgot that hollowing I forgot about Hollow squirtle we can't die anymore in this video I can't I can't take it it's terrible hey guys we cool is everything are we back to well she doesn't see my feet what it's nothing I'm gonna take my anger out on no she is still very not cool with you it would seem squirrel man later maggots gotta get the chest so I can punch it apart I hate chests and treasure again I got some rubbish gosh you rub me a turd I'll never get to scribble man okay I apologized can you do it I'm sorry about how can she punch what she can to my aquatic valley you've made the classic mistake you throat score no man in the briar patch come on down here let's see how it works out you don't wanna do that govern that was instinct instinctively - back in the water I was gonna try some reinforcements yeah come to me my aquatic Reverend alright we have to do I have a human effigy oh I thought I started with a human effigy God in heaven I think there was one in that chest no it turned into rubbish because you smashed it apart with your big stupid claws gotta get those souls back yeah well I don't need a tutorial because tutorials are not for winners Justin Google where I can find a human effigy right quick I just don't want to look at all of this flesh I can see bone coming out of squirtles arm right now this is this is a fantasy I have never possessed okay so we got this horrible undead squirtle and I feel just terrible for a not picking the starting gift that would have given me human effigy and be destroying the second human attitude that I found so if I'm over to the thing about it is this squirtle is terrible he's going to die like you're you're you could use a human effigy and then you would instantly lose it because he's such a terrible character you've created well let's suggesting this is a Souls game it's not about the stats it's never been about oh this is good this is one way you could go now I know you're wondering Griffon don't you want to go get that Estus flask shard spa up I hate it great I'll squirt off I can't stop I hate him right ah oh god there's meat on his head this is coming off squirtle God why this is a secret no oh man yeah so this is a discolor the first sin now that guy's there you know what uh why do you only have one ss5 [ __ ] what how cuz I haven't found the shirts to give me extras got him to start with one yeah dude it's brutal Wow it's a hard video game a bob and weave yep perfect what is your end game these are the easiest duties in the game what is your play I'm just trying to get to that that second bonfire there's a speedrun bead run strat you don't stop for anything except for this broken street sort that wasn't worth it at all Jesus I'm dead no no no with this another thing on that wider 18 guys here now please God go go go go go go go they can't follow you there except they definitely definitely can and will follow you there Oh No did you see that dope [ __ ] no one can't stop mr. squirtle get some of the way now get the thing of the dope that could have been an effigy please sprint please sprint now go go go oh oh they go go go go there's something over there against that wall shut up no no no bonfire no oh God Oh what is this thing he's doing he's holding his wrist it's broken Oh squirtle now he's just contemplating some stuff why did I come up here I miss I miss the ocean so much is he gonna give up him up no sir no what no he's not go go go go go go go go go faster water climber yeah he's like a good ladder boy yeah for sure go go go go go go go go go go you're fine oh oh oh please spark it up do your worst then matter I'm immortal now why she might have a weapon smite here you're right you might get some saws off of this I'm cursed no that's the worst possible thing that's out of a [ __ ] how was I supposed to know she ain't giving up right there there's Europe that's what you need a witching urn that's exactly the one item that's gonna deliver you from the situation you find yourself in though this is the way forward uh there's several ways make this jump effortless human effigy who's back got a lot of stuff happening down there now it's a whole burger come touch it come touch it come get a taste come give me the only Souls I'm gonna get the entire game I come to action ledge there's a fire-breathing dragon down there right uh yeah and I get that fired oh what's that here's here's what I'm saying he's a fire-type you're gonna be strong against him if you revitalize first you should be able to beat him no I will die and I no no no no your squirtle he's a fire type I mean I can't fight that kind of loud shouldn't stop there well see you in heaven Charmander wow it worked that was a miracle go open it you are the come on everyone you just need that Ida it's a good item in there if I remember correctly yeah Justin it's a wicked good item it's a sword a good sword nothing you'll be able to use god it was [ __ ] Fight Club in that piece for a second you're really handling it big you were making it dead here's a question when I spawn into that bonfire room is millenia gonna continue to be miffed I think you could take her if you just have the dedication well she cast a magic spell that cursed me so no Justin I don't think that's yep-yep-yep yep-yep-yep yep-yep-yep yep-yep-yep long memory on these npcs they do not forgive and forget you are gonna try to fight this cat though right you know what their friend you might even have a shot oh [ __ ] ripping out your butthole you backstabbing with your hand that did 93 damage you've got this you've got this you're gonna have to let stop letting him hit you with the sword that's one of the things on the docket you had to wait until I was taking a swig might go juice what's up what's up what's up here yeah squirtle squirtle now go back to her and see you she'll say you so therefore 97 maybe you think maybe she was upset because I didn't have souls before not because I leaping striked her look she's going back to her place I was too harsh he's like in uestion it was just one punch hey I owe it you hello wait hold on I want to say I've got deals no no no I don't even like that the way she's moving right now she's got way more health than that other guy there's only one way I'm gonna be able to beat Malinche and that's that's if I squirrel up I'll keep in the way monster squirtle use hydro pump it's very effective Oh keep it going keep it going yes look at you you're so powerful yeah uh what does she have water she had some good coveted silver serpent ring plus one and let me see here Oh God letters from her grandchildren oh god what have I done this is a picture this says me and meemaw this is terrible I'm ready too grandma murdered our good uh I think this was a pretty good success uh thank you getting right in there close up on his face what would you give what rating out of 10 which you give squirtle on a scale of 1 to odd real monsters I would give squirtle a 7 what do you give that nipple though 11 hook it up to both of them more that's what me to collectively you

Channel: Polygon

Views: 2,595,317

Rating: 4.9582753 out of 5

Keywords: gameplay, lets play, polygon, videogames, vox media, Dark Souls II (Video Game), Video Game (Industry), Action Role-playing Game (Video Game Genre), Dark Souls (Video Game), Squirtle (Character Species), Pokémon (Brand), Monster Factory, griffin mcelroy, justin mcelroy, monster factory dark souls 2, dark souls 2

Id: LlKnEgPEGmA

Length: 27min 17sec (1637 seconds)

Published: Mon May 04 2015

Reddit Comments

[u/judsoncovy]

This sounds like Griffin McElroy's voice

[u/Horny_Dalek]

I just spent 2 hours watching every Monster Factory video. My sides have now surpassed Voyager 1.

[u/mybodyisreadyyo]

I love how serious they suddenly get at 4:16

[u/I_Dont_Always]

Oh man, idk why, but this video had me rolling!

[u/[deleted]]

This is how my first playthrough of dark souls 2 went.