Snack Braff is Zach Braff if he'd just commit to going to the gym an hour a day | Monster Factory

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- [Justin] You know what? I don't feel like we're being fair to WWE. - [Griffin] It's not supposed to be like this. - [Justin] It's not supposed to have a hand, it's not supposed to be at a weird angle. - [Griffin] Yeah. What if we just have a little Clint? (intense rock music) Justin, is there a horse so beaten, so already scrowdy-row, just pre-boned, so bad that we ethically can't monster it? Do you know what I mean? Like, at what point are we just sorta, at what point is it bear baiting? It feels bad. - [Justin] They say you shouldn't beat a dead horse. But I would argue, should you beat a live one? I think not. - [Griffin] This is not an alive horse, though. I do wanna speak to the MyPLAYER Wizard. Oh, shit, Justin, did you bring the MyPLAYER Wizard an offering? (Justin laughing) Justin, if you didn't bring him a crystal or an orb or something, oh, man, we're gonna be in a lotta trouble. So let's choose a class. Any class that Asuka's a part of is a class that I would love to join. - [Justin] Do not reference real wrestling on this video. - Any real wrestling? I apologize, you're right. Let's see, strong style, yeah. - [Justin] Obviously, strong style! - [Griffin] Okay, now let's customize. Actually, oop, sorry, thank you, WWE, I forgot that you do allow us to sorta, - Let's see what they've got. - do it. Oh, well that's not. Okay, hold on, their randomization, no, their randomization has to have some sort of filters on it. - [Justin] Oh, come on! - [Griffin] No, this is horseshit. There's no-- - This looks like the same person changing wigs! - [Griffin] Ooh, shit! Whoa, that got real close up, didn't it? - [Justin] Griffin, I hear you wanted random. That random South Park humor. - [Griffin] I do want that random South Park, hello. Can I not sorta fuck with the bones or the face, though, what's going on, WWE? Okay, so this is why it was, this is not gonna do it. As bad as I wanna see the career mode, I'm not going to do it if our options are just this. This is where we part ways, career mode. - [Justin] You would've been some connective tissue. - [Griffin] You would've been neat, some way to make this one stand apart from the nine other fucking wrestling games that we've done already. - [Justin] This man. - He's always so good. - He's always the man that they start with, and I feel like it's Vince's way of saying, if I could find this man, I would be done. Like, he would be the new Vince, and he would be in charge, and I just want this exact man, I can't find him. Just a blank canvas man. - [Griffin] I found so many men, Roman Reigns has more hair than this man, Dean Ambrose was closer, but the nipples were all wrong. (Justin laughing) I wish we could do a play with perspective. - [Justin] It looks like you're looking at a white Grimace from the toilet. Like, if Grimace was white, and you were in the toilet looking up, this is the view that you would have. - [Griffin] Oh shit. Oh, face photo capture's still in the game. - [Justin] Oh, nice, Griffin, you got to, I love when you do this, you got to! (relaxed jazz music) - [Griffin] So, I prepared for you a sort of, sampler platter. What will you be having today sir? The Braff is excellent. But we get lots of compliments about our Leguizamo. The Clint, is an acquired taste. And also, there's gonna be hand in the Clint face. - [Justin] I'd like a tasting pour of the Leguizamo, please. - [Griffin] Yes, let's sample that really quick. (both laughing) Oh, something inside of me just popped! I don't know what it is! - [Justin] I'm having an episode. Oh my God, I lost control of my body! I'm falling into the floor, I'm having a literal, (he wheezes) episode, my brain's not getting enough oxygen. - [Griffin] Oh, shit! - [Justin] I need a-- (he wheezes and laughs) I can't! I can't, Griffin, I can't do it! I can't do it, make it go away. That was the fucking Ark of the Covenant. I can't look at that! (he cackles) - [Griffin] Lets have just a little bit of Braff in my life, here we go. (Justin coughing and laughing) Oh my God! (he laughs) - [Justin] I can't, it's impossible. (both laughing) - [Griffin] Oh, no. - [Justin] Joker's back in Joker Two. - [Griffin] God, no. - [Justin] Shit. I don't think that's right either. - [Griffin] Are you sure it's not right? Let's just complete the hat trick. Oh, no! - [Justin] That's my father. - [Griffin] That's dad! - [Justin] That's my dad. - [Griffin] We could, ostensibly, now hold on, hold on just a tisch. Maybe there's a chance we could, sort of, jimmy this in a way, that would, do you know what I'm saying? - [Justin] The eyes are still. - [Griffin] The eyes don't have it. - [Justin] You know what? I don't feel like we're being fair to WWE. - [Griffin] It's not supposed to be like this. - [Justin] It's not supposed to have a hand, it's not supposed to be at a weird angle. - [Griffin] Yeah. What if we just have a little Clint? (both laughing) That's badass, though. If we could do multiple faces, that's badass, but I don't think it gets better than John Leguizamo. - [Justin] Just to close the loop on it, I'd love to see a perfect-- - See if we could actually do a good, that's John Leguizamo. - [Justin] That's a John. - [Griffin] That's a John for sure. You could be fooled for thinking that's actor, John Leguizamo if you saw him on the street. Oh, shit. - [Justin] He's already got his wrestling name, The Pest, that would be really good. John, The Pest, Leguizamo. - [Griffin] Any more faces that I should try and download? - [Justin] I would just like to get my face one time. - [Griffin] Okay, let's get Justin. Alright, let's see how this goes. We'll start with you. - [Justin] Oh, this is good, this is great. One of the problems is the head that they have is a long head, nobody's got a head like that. I wish, in my dreams, you know? - [Griffin] You can adjust the head size but only after you've placed the picture down. - [Justin] Okay, look at that. That's not bad. - We're getting there. Hey, Justin, what you just said is wild because it's deeply bad. (Justin laughing) - [Justin] I kind of look like John Cena, it's good. - [Griffin] You know what, Justin? You know what's fucking me up is that you look like professional wrestler and movie star John Cena. - [Justin] I kinda look like John Cena in this one. That's accurate, true to life, fair enough. Yeah, that's about it. - [Griffin] Why do you look so much like John Cena? That sucks! - [Justin] It's weird. - [Griffin] You have kind of off-set John Cena dimples, also his eyeball extends past the eyelid. Let's try out mine, 'cause I worry that the beard or terrible facsimile of a beard, is not gonna do it for us. And also you're gonna have to stretch out my shit. There's gonna be mad artifacting, though. That sucks. - [Justin] That's not bad. - [Griffin] It's not good! - [Justin] It's not bad. Okay, so let's talk about plus and minus. Obviously the facial hair's a huge problem but I can't blame Vince for that. (Griffin laughing) - [Griffin] That one ain't Vince's fault! - [Justin] That ain't Vince. That one ain't Vince. - [Griffin] Okay, I'm not sure I wanna make myself into a monster, it feels a little self-insert-y. - [Justin] Yeah. Now, Zach Braff. - [Griffin] Now, Zach Braff, I wanna make into a big, big monster. - [Justin] Let's get Zach Braff perfect and then worse than perfect. - [Griffin] I don't know that we're gonna get him perfect when this is the starting line, do you know what I mean? - [Justin] Yeah, you do need at least, let me see-- (Griffin cackling) - [Griffin] I do need to get the eyeballs, just outta there. Okay, okay, so I can kinda close 'em, make 'em a little vestigial. Is this anything? - [Justin] Okay, I gotta go back here. I had to go down to the cellar. And, I had to blow off a few cobwebs. But found one from the private reserve. - [Griffin] Oh, that's a good Zach Braff. Justin, premium Braff, dude. - [Justin] Yeah, dude. - [Griffin] The secret's all about aligning the ears. - [Justin] Is that the secret? - [Griffin] I don't think teeth are just gonna work on this one, though. - [Justin] We'll have teeth, there's nothing to be done about that. - [Griffin] That's about as much as I'm willing to compromise, Justin. (Justin laughing) That's about as far as I'm gonna come to meet ya. Okay? That's about as good as I'm gonna let it get on this one, okay? Any further and I'm gonna compromise my own integrity. Do you understand? - [Justin] Yeah, I get it. - [Griffin] I know the nose sucks. The nose is so profoundly off-kilter. And so wildly higgledy-piggledy. I'm going to look at the points, and you look at the actual person. And just give me an honest opinion about-- - [Justin] You aren't even starting close. - [Griffin] That's, oh you fucker. - [Justin] That as far as you can get? - [Griffin] Oh, but I can nudge, hold on. God, this is the worst. Okay, the nosey's willing to. - [Justin] The nose'll work with you. - [Griffin] He'll talk to us. This is not gonna encapsulate the nostrils. The nostrils will be-- - The nostrils can't be part of it. - Oh shit, that sucks! From the top, it sucks! - [Justin] It actually does suck. Zach, can you close your mouth, sweetie? It's just for the-- - Zach, buddy, we're taking a picture, can you? - [Justin] I love those chompers, bud. But if you could just close the mouth, sweet stuff, we gotta get a, just for the wrassling game? - [Griffin] Zach, I notice you sort of shut one quarter of your lips, which I didn't know, okay. That's Zach Braff. Hello. - [Justin] That's Zach Braff right there. - [Griffin] Facial structure. Okay, now let's chop and screw. - [Justin] Quality. (Justin laughing and groaning) He looks unsure. - Oh my God, it sucks so bad, dude, it's a death mask. I don't like it. - He looks unsure if you should've done this. - [Griffin] Ears. - [Justin] Get 'em going. Get 'em going, you gotta balance out something. (Griffin cackling) That way, it's something else to look at. Ugh, it sucks. It sucks! - [Griffin] It sucks. - [Justin] It sucks. This looks like Zach Braff got stuck in a cave for, like, millennia. And this is what his children's children's children's children's children came out as. - [Griffin] It sucks. - [Justin] Fucking, they're good at hearing, bad at speech, good at eating raw fish. - [Griffin] This is doing, also, still kind of nothing. - [Justin] Yeah, it's making the eyes worse, which is interesting. - [Griffin] I think we did a lotta face work when we were uploading 100 JPEGs to wwe.com. - [Justin] Are those on Vince's home computer at this point now? - As far as I know, anyone can download those. - Is that how it works? - [Griffin] So I'm gonna stop working on facial structure. Okay, face is, good! - [Justin] Good, it's a good face. - [Griffin] It's a good face. From far away, it's not a good face. - [Justin] No, but up close it's real good. Zach, this could be you. - [Griffin] This could be you, Zach, but you playin'. - [Justin] Zach goes in day one, he hits the gym. What is gonna be the first thing that he's working on? That's not, what do you guys think 640 pounds means? That's not it. - [Griffin] Body type. - [Justin] There's two types, type one and type one. - [Griffin] It's the same type. That is the most powerful fuckin' body I've ever seen in my life, Justin. That's 640 pounds of grab meat. That is 640 pounds of tussle muscle, baby. Neck? - [Justin] No thank you. Delete. - [Griffin] Let me see the fucking neck, you scamp! - [Justin] Delete neck, hey, Griff, which of these necks do you like best? - [Griffin] You mean these literally identical necks? Help me, help me, they've got me in the video, let me out! Sorry, Zach. - [Justin] Take it up with your agent, bud. - [Griffin] Did you hear something? I didn't hear anything. Back. Wow, that's a real asshole he's got right there, huh? (Justin laughing) Oh my God, Zach. - [Justin] Yes, Zach, you shouldn't have. - [Griffin] Once again, I am fairly certain we cannot put a shirt on this boy. - [Justin] No, but maybe some tattoos. - [Griffin] A very defined Zach. We want him to be rugged, ripped, ready to fight, Scrubs Two, he's gonna just beat John C. McGinley's ass. - [Justin] I wanna pitch the name of Snack Braff. - [Griffin] Now, yeah. So you've just named, also, our creation which is good. Let's look at his 10 butts. - [Justin] Hey, which of these fucking, the assholes are what's actually different but the censors won't let us show it. - [Griffin] What's different about these butts? I feel like I'm doing a Slylock Fox, something's different between these two pictures. One butt cheek's bigger than the other, what's going on? - [Justin] It's just a butt option. You can have one butt cheek bigger. Okay, I can see the difference, that one's kind of tooched a little bit. - [Griffin] Yeah, I like it, it's fun, it's flirty. The thighs are going to be two big old, prime rib roasts at Ponderosa. What's going on there? 'Cause one of his veins seems like it's having trouble being a vein on a 3D model of Snack Braff. We've got a puncture in our Snack. And he's just gonna float away. What if his ring attire is just nude Snack Braff and his entrance is clothed? And so he'll come in, it'll be like, uh oh. I have to wrestle this guy? And then he takes literally all his clothes off and they're like, I have to wrestle this guy?! - [Justin] That's the most skin you can show, right? He can't be hanging dong? - [Griffin] I don't know if he can hang brain, let's see, clothing. Lower body. Trunks. - Delete. - [Griffin] Dragon Slayer. I forgot how good these are. - [Justin] Wow, there's like a lot, huh? - [Griffin] Yeah, but we want one with some nuts. - [Justin] That little fancy, that fancy pantaloon, may be the best we can do. - Big, cool, big Snack Braff diaper is about as good as it gets. - [Justin] Yeah, I think that if you have to wrestle Snack Braff in a diaper you are going to be struggling. - [Griffin] Can we make the diaper out of metal, though? - [Justin] He's a space baby! (Griffin laughing) - [Griffin] Snack Braff! - [Justin] Snack Braff Space Baby. - [Griffin] It's Snack Braff's special carbon fiber diaper. Okay, so this is his glowing space diaper. And this is good, stitch. I can stich my own, I can do some light cross-stitching in the wrestling game. - [Justin] Why don't people like this game? It seems good. - It seems pretty good to me! - [Justin] What should it say? I'm no superman? - [Griffin] No, Justin, it should say step inside. (Justin laughing) - [Justin] Okay. I think if you tried to step inside Snack Braff's space diaper, you would go to jail. Or back in time. - [Griffin] Snack Braff is inviting you into his-- - [Justin] If you do more things it's gonna look less like a diaper. Don't mess it up. - [Griffin] But is it gonna look more like a space diaper? The answer is yes. That's badass, dude, I don't even know what those are. - [Justin] Fuckin' little peacock feathers or something, that's cool. - Badass, dude. That's on there. Oh, yeah. - [Justin] No. I'm sorry, but no. I might be able to help you with booties. If you look at booties. - [Griffin] That's kinda cool. - [Justin] What is that? - [Griffin] I don't know, it looks cool, though. Alright, that's even cooler. Yeah, that's pretty fucking cool! (Justin laughing) - [Justin] Booties, booties, booties. - [Griffin] You want them big. - [Justin] I bet you will find something that looks like, we need the closest to baby booties possible. - [Griffin] Oh, see, I'm not thinking of him as being a baby, I'm thinking of him-- - [Justin] He is, oh okay. - [Griffin] I'm thinking of him being a big, you know, a space alien, who, doesn't know how to keep the human fluids inside. - [Justin] Here's my short story. Baby shoes, size 23, worn weekly. - [Griffin] For fighting. - [Justin] (he laughs) For fighting. - [Griffin] What do you think about these? They're worth 20 points. - [Justin] Ooh. They give you 20 points for those these days? - [Griffin] Now, we can make them also, whoa. - [Justin] Those are cool as hell. Honestly, I'd fuck those up for real. Hell yeah, dude. - [Griffin] So, those are actual tendrils that are capable of poisoning you with the most righteous asteroid toxin. - [Justin] This is just what he wears to fight! - [Griffin] I keep forgetting the face! (Justin laughing) I think we got it in one. - [Justin] Wow, instantly. - [Griffin] I mean, I'll kep looking, I'll keep digging around, but. I don't hate this. - [Justin] You'd think that would be the point you throw the shirt away. - [Griffin] At what point the moths have eaten this in such a specific, horny way. - [Justin] I'm sensing some real mission drift here, Griffin. - [Griffin] Oh, is that what you detect? - [Justin] I'm detecting some mission drift. - [Griffin] Are you detecting mission drift or did we fucking just find-- - [Justin] Can I see the suit jacket with the space diaper, please? - [Griffin] It's saying no. It's saying specifically-- - It won't actually let it? It'll let you do Ted DiBiase, of course. - [Griffin] You know, that's kinda fun. - [Justin] I can't believe it puts limits. You know, good on them. So many games forget to put in ways to thwart you and I. They don't specifically thwart us. - [Griffin] That's pretty space. - [Justin] That's good, that's futuristic. - [Griffin] That's future space in a way that I am actually feeling. What, don't. - [Justin] Why would you even display it, then? - [Griffin] Why would you let us even see it, then? Yeah, you're an asshole, WWE. - Fuck off. - You're a big asshole and you're a fucking shitty game, I hope nobody else buys you, I hope we were the last purchase. - [Justin] Oh, look at that, though. That's excellent. - [Griffin] You're back in. You know, it's getting a little too homogenous for me. I would love to have, no, I take it back, I like that bioluminescent shit so much. I do want him to have a blaster cannon on one arm that he can use for special attacks. I'm kind of min-maxing him a little bit, but if he had a ranged projectile. - [Justin] Whoa, whoa, what about that thing? It shoots blades, like that, what about that? - This one that shoots blades? The hawk blade? - [Justin] Yeah, it shoots the hawk blades out. - [Griffin] So the hawk blade came from, is he a superhero from his planet? That uses the hawk blade? - [Justin] No. He's Zach Braff the actor, who's seeing what he could pull off if he was hitting the gym a little bit more. - [Griffin] This whole time, Zach Braff has been the hawk blade. - [Justin] I'm saying that he's not now, but if he dedicated himself to getting into the gym. - [Griffin] That's too many hawk blades. There's only one hawk blade, that's stupid. - [Justin] It's passed down through legend, you can't just make another one. - [Griffin] Can't just have two hawk blades. But you can have, fire storm. Yeah. We need more tendrils, though. - [Justin] Ooh, the glow is neat. - [Griffin] Yeah, that's sort of what comes out of the hawk blade. - [Justin] Yeah, that's representing the beams that could be coming out of the hawk blade if Zach Braff would just-- - Go to the gym every once in a while, - Really dedicate himself. - [Griffin] and start pounding the tires and-- - [Justin] Not every once in a while, he goes every once in a while now. But if he would make it priority in 2020, don't even try to do it now, obviously it's too late in the year to start changing your habits. But in 2020, if he redoubled his efforts and really focused on getting into the gym. - [Griffin] He could wield the hawk blade. So this hand is injured, 'cause it doesn't know how to use the blaze storm. I'm just gonna leave it like that and I'm not gonna do the rest of this because, holy, well, back accessories is extremely good. - [Justin] If Snack Braff could have katanas, and we don't give him katanas, that's kind of on us. - [Griffin] That's an entrance object only. - [Justin] Of course! You probably aren't allowed to have anything on your back in the ring, - No, you can have this. - [Justin] now that I'm thinking about it. Just the one chitin. (Justin laughing) Now, this is from his mother's side of the family. - [Griffin] Right, this is not me and Justin putting a hat on a hat, this is. - [Justin] He has two different lineages of incredible ancestral power! (both laughing) That if he would just hit the gym a little bit harder in 2020, not now. - He could wield the hawk blade, and his natural chitin. Hold on, give me the front of the turtle, too! Vince, give me the front of the turtle! I'd love to see where they think glasses are going. (Justin laughing) - [Justin] Just gotta increase your prestige to get that great look. - [Griffin] But I probably won't. - [Justin] Ey. (Justin laughing) - [Griffin] Justin, I deeply love this, is the thing. - [Justin] Yeah, that's actually great. (Griffin cackling) - [Griffin] It looks like the fucking girl from the Vine! ("Take on Me" by A-ha) Justin, the glasses make it. What's it gotta be? - [Justin] I think the shark glasses. Yes! - No that's too many mouths. That's too many mouths. This is so subtle and so righteously powerful. - [Justin] Okay, fine. Oh, that crown's good, though. - [Griffin] You like the crown? 'Cause that means I already won. - [Justin] The match is over. - [Griffin] It doesn't matter who wins or loses this match, I the turtle king, have already won. I don't know why he would take the shell off. I don't wanna create a whole different thing. He's good as is. Maybe one thing. Maybe we give him a nice suit. (Justin laughing) He's just a nice boy, and he wants to do a good job for everyone. Gotta take those fucking gloves off, what's he doing? - [Justin] You're a businessman. - [Griffin] You're a businessman, get those gloves off there. No, no no. No, no, no. No, no no no, not on my watch. - [Justin] Like a businessman! (he laughs) (both laughing) - [Griffin] I wanna give him hair, where does the hair even go? - [Justin] Can we just get this one bit as close to Zach Braff as humanly possible? - [Griffin] Yeah. I guess. I guess we could do that. (Justin wheezing and laughing) - [Justin] Zach? (both laughing) With maybe one hour in the gym a day, Zach, all I'm saying, just hit the gym. (he coughs) - [Griffin] Presentation. Oh, God, they've done it to us again, haven't they? They probably have Zach. - [Justin] Zachary, Zack, Zack, just Zack. - [Griffin] My nickname is Zachary. Let's pick the closest thing to Braff. Which is gonna be, (he hums and boops) - [Justin] Brad. - [Griffin] Zach Bram. - [Justin] Zach Boy Bradley. They call him Zachary but his name's Zach Boy Bradley or Snack Braff. - [Griffin] Oh, my God. (Justin laughing) Personal information. Crowd reaction. Is, huh?! - [Justin] Stunned silence, is that an option? - [Griffin] Crowd balance, a mix of cheers and boos. Personality traits. - [Justin] Very proud, he managed to find that time at the gym. Very disrespectful, though, - He does not appreciate it. - [Justin] For reasons. - [Griffin] He needs this so bad! Loyal to a fault. Cowardly also to a fault. Extremely aggressive despite the cowardice that I just said. Home town. Fucking "Garden State", baby! Where is it? Justin, quick, where was "Garden State" filmed? - [Justin] New Jersey. - [Griffin] Where in New Jersey? - [Justin] "Garden State" was filmed in, South Orange, New Jersey. - [Griffin] Not an option, we're going to say Nutley. And this is always the best part. Clayton, if you could just give this the usual treatment. You don't even need us for this part, do ya? You know what to do, Clayton, take it away. (upbeat dance music) (both laughing) - [Justin] Hey everybody, quick programming note. In the near future, we're gonna be publishing new episodes of Monster Factory just on the McElroy Family YouTube channel. So if you aren't already subscribed to that, you'll wanna go ahead and do that. - [Griffin] Smash it, baby! - [Justin] Griffin, I asked you not to, I begged you not to. - [Griffin] Mm, smash that!
Info
Channel: Polygon
Views: 421,811
Rating: undefined out of 5
Keywords: wwe2k20, wrestling video game, wrestling, pro wrestling, zack braff, zach braff, Monster Factory, monster factory wrestling, Justin McElroy, griffin mcelroy, scrubs, wrestling game character creator, character creator, video game character creator, funny video game, wwe character creator, funny wwe2k20, wwe monster factory, John Leguizamo, videogames, video games, polygon
Id: FJlxn4Etujw
Channel Id: undefined
Length: 26min 1sec (1561 seconds)
Published: Wed Dec 04 2019
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