- [Griffin] Star Trek, holy shit, holes, holes, holes, holes,
holes, holes, holes, holes! - [Justin] That's like, how
good do you need to hear? - [Griffin] Oh my god. What? - [Justin] Whoa. - [Griffin] He looks like- we could-
now we have to be careful, We can't make The Noid again. (spooky theme music) - [Griffin] Live long and prosper, Justin, Star Trek time has called
for us to come home to the stars, where no
one's gone up there before. - [Justin] We've already
made our creation, this is Chief Petty Officer
Mayonnaise Beefcake. - [Griffin] Hi, I'm Mayonnaise Beefcake, you can tell from my patch
that I like triangles. This is Star Trek Online
something of something, and it's an MMORPG that
I looked into last year. I set the researchers on it and I said "No, you're not ready yet little fishy," and I threw the little
fishy back back in the sea. I think that their whole
shit got re-vamped, like character creation-wise,
this year, so-- - [Justin] They're ready for the big dogs. - [Griffin] I think they're
ready for the big dogs to come play in their little muddy pit. (Justin laughs) Now that's an ali-um right there. - [Justin] They did so much
of the heavy lifting there. - [Griffin] He's got
bumpies, he's got ponytail, he's got straw to fruit
pouch under jacket. We're loving all of your look, Dominion. This is the Terms of Service Starfleet, which is just, I guess
like Discovery Starfleet, except the hair
(Justin laughs) goes sort of more swoopy-like. And that's cool, and
the ship looks shittier. And virtually everything else. - [Justin] I, sorry, could
you get a quick enhance back on that real quick? I'll tell you when to stop,
stop, stop right there. How about this fella? Not that fella, that fella's fine. Let's take a look down at that
fella in the bottom right. (Justin Laughs)
- This is cool. - [Justin] He's trying very
hard to not be noticed. (laughs) He looks like somebody
is gonna recognize him and make him go back to
his post in the bathrooms. - [Griffin] Romulan Republic, so this is kind of a Dash Rendar, but he's got the lumpy stuff up there-- - Loves adventure.
- And people love that. Klingon defense force, you know them. - Yep, Worf.
- It's Worf. - [Griffin] I would love to make a Worf. - [Justin] Here's a quick Worf for you, "Battle is so cool, I love it." - [Griffin] And here's
the first one again. - [Justin] Still kind of
just the same white bread (laughs) boring man. - [Griffin] Yeah, well, when they stacked up
the different factions, you gotta have a little sandwich going. It's literally his dad. I don't wanna be either of these. I am drawn to old shitty Starfleet, Klingon's gonna give us
a lot of Worf action. I mean, here's what I need
to reveal to you now, Justin. - [Justin] Okay. - [Griffin] This game is exciting for me as a Monster Factory content
creator for a lot reasons, I mean, obviously, we
have access to a lot of, from across the galaxy,
just a lot of friends, like the Bajorens, and the
Benzites, and the Betazoids. - [Justin] Betazoids I love, telepathic? Yeah. - [Griffin] The lobey boys... - [Justin] Camera had to
pan on down to grab him! - [Griffin] Got a big old tall eyebrows, and all this is cool, right? You got a Sith Lord, whatever, or we could just make our own alium. - [Justin] Oh, so they'll just
let you kind of freestyle it. - [Griffin] They'll let you just kind of make your own alium. - [Justin] Huh. - [Griffin] I guess these are the classes. Which one's gonna let
us beat the most ass? - [Justin] Probably
Tactical Officer, right? - [Griffin] Yeah, so let's go science and we'll break all the barriers. - [Justin] Like Sherlock Holmes, you know how sometimes he's got a gun? - [Griffin] Yeah, "Go
get your stethoscope", fuck you, I'm here to kick ass. - [Justin] I'll fix all
the bones I break after. - [Griffin] I think we have to start from one of these canvasses, and this is about as-- - [Justin] Wrapped in plastic.
(both laugh) - [Griffin] This looks
like he's wearing pantyhose over his head and he's
about to rob a bank. (Justin laughs)
it's very good. Hair hair hair everywhere, coloring whatever whatever whatever. Oh, hello there, advanced! - [Justin] Oh, you'll just-- (both gasp) (both exclaim) - [Justin] Delicious. - [Griffin] Let us begin. When you take a pottery
class, the teacher will come and just flomp down a
lump of clay there for you to start doing your bad business on? That's kind of what this is. Like what shape do we want our clay? You know I like dual lobes. You know I've always liked them. These Lisa Lobes. Skin types, "skin"-- - [Justin] (laughing) Skin type is "skin"? - [Griffin] He got holes now, skin type is still "skin"-- - [Justin] That feels like
they're irritated with you. "You know, skin!" - "You know, skin."
- "Like, skin?" - "From skin?"
(Justin laughs) - [Justin] "Like, you have it! "Skin!" - [Griffin] Ooh, this is good. I like this Mardi Gras mask situation. You make it very pronounced. Oh wait, that means how
far it come outs the head? - Oh, whoa!
- Oh, can make it go into the head, yowza! - That's kinda a cool effect!
- That's kinda neat! - [Justin] I like that! - [Griffin] Now what
color is that, though? - [Justin] Okay, now we're
headed down to the party. - [Griffin] Yeah, I mean, let's just go bright purple, I guess. - [Justin] Yeah, absolutely! - [Griffin] Oh, we gotta pick the skin. Oh yeah.
(Justin exclaims) - [Justin] If we go in like a purple-ish, I'm almost wondering if we should go back and do like green for the highlights and then kind of a purple-ish,
pink-ish for the skin. I think that might look kinda fun. - [Griffin] Okay, yes, yes, yes. Sort of a festive Thanos. Intensity of the forehead detail. Wow. Exceedingly, oh wait, we haven't even-- (shouts) - Whoa, damn!
- Whoa! - [Griffin] Damn, Star Trek! - [Justin] Go back a couple. I love that California
Raisin look we got going. - [Griffin] That is kinda neat. - [Justin] 90's kids will love that. - [Griffin] 90's kids aren't
gonna like any of this. (Justin laughs)
No kids will enjoy this. Whoa, yeah. I think that's what it was on originally. - [Justin] It knew us better
than it knew ourselves. - [Griffin] That's quite good. And then, oh, the top of it, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I like these angry, (moans)
(growls) "I don't like Mardi Gras." - [Justin] "I just dressed
up to get free beads!" - [Griffin] "But I don't
want to do the Mardis Gras!" Nose detail, not applicable! Nose scar. (vocally clicks) - [Justin] (laughing)
Oh, I like the tools, like "Oh yeah, I got nostrils,
no big, just like you!" - [Griffin] "I got holes for days, baby!" (Justin laughs) Choose your own adventure! (Justin laughs) - [Justin] That's to scare off predators that think they're
attacking his real nostrils. - [Griffin] Oh wait, I see, I see, I see. The tat can be anything. I mean, the two dots is pretty choice. - [Justin] It's good. - Make it--
- Intensity! - [Griffin] Doesn't seem to do much. The intensity of the tat, what do we like, we like that yellow, we
want to keep that going? - [Justin] Something
bright that stands out. - [Griffin] Or we can do black and make it just sort of disguise it. - [Justin] I love that. Natural camouflage. - [Griffin] Rotation, eyes. Not that. Ooh, ooh! (both exclaim) - [Justin] Wow, that's disturbing. The slits are kinda good too. - [Griffin] Yeah, that's giving me... I should probably learn that guy's name, there's a guy in a band and he had that, and everybody was like
"I can't not fuck him!" (Justin laughs) Ears. - Check.
- Should probably be something pretty cool. - Wow.
- No, not just check. It seems like we can do some stuff. - [Justin] Just anything you want, huh? - Whoa!
- Oh my god! - [Griffin] Wow! Now we have to be careful,
we can't make The Noid again. - [Justin] Can't make The Noid again, and can't make Mac and
Me, which you're in-- - [Griffin] (laughing) Oh, damn! - Terrible IPs territory.
- Yes, oh my god. We'll be hearing from Mac's lawyers. - Shit, shit, shit.
- Jesus! - [Griffin] Yes! - [Justin] That's some EQ shit, I love it! - [Griffin] I gotta get back
to just the big two-hole, just fucking flank steaks. (Justin laughs)
Where was that? - That choice beef.
- Yeah, look at that. - [Griffin] Just so many holes. "Yes, we Sclaptherians
are known for our holes." (Justin laughs) - [Justin] That's kind of
the dual-hole thing again. Where you don't know if you wanna plunge a screwdriver into his brain like so many 90's thrillers
made such great use of. - Good luck finding it.
- You won't know. - Whoa, damn!
- One of these holes just goes straight
through to the other side. These are cool! - [Justin] This looks like somebody didn't know what eyebrows were, like they were doing (Griffin laughs)
hair for a while there, what if we just did bones? - [Griffin] Yeah, and just
more, just chunks of ham? I don't like fur eyebrows,
I want more flaps, I want more secrets, I
want more places for him to be able to hide candy
when he goes to the movies. - [Justin] That one's kinda sad. - [Griffin] Which one, that one? - [Justin] "Aw. "Oh gosh." - [Griffin] I mean, he would be, kinda. Eye attach. Oh wait we get more choice, oh shit. (both laugh) - [Justin] Looks like motherfucker
went to get his retainer, his parents are like "No, you need it, "It's prescription. "You have to wear this
all the time." (laughing) - [Griffin] Oh my god, we
can change every color of it? Let's get those pastels, let's get some-- - [Justin] By the way,
I've actually just decided that that's a fashion visor. It is completely not prescription. It is just something he wore (laughing) as an
affectation in high school, and doesn't know how to stop wearing. That's where I'm at. - [Griffin] "I'm also constantly
watching pornography." - [Justin] He's got that working for him. - [Griffin] Head attach organic? This is probably gonna be pretty good. What the fuck? - [Justin] I mean, that's Groot, right? - That's kinda Groot.
- That one's got a Groot in it. - [Griffin] I like the
nasty little antennas that look like they're begging
for food from their mom. (slurping) - "Please."
- "Nutrients, Daddy." - "Papa."
(Justin laughs) - "Papa!"
- He looks like he's cheering! - "Nutrients, papa!"
- "Hooray, yay!" - [Justin] "Yay, sports team!" - [Griffin] "Sunlight! "Yay, papa, thank you! "Take off the visor, papa,
so we may go to the back!" - [Justin] That's very good to me. - [Griffin] What, the
nasty little antenna? - [Justin] The nasty
little antenna, grubby-- - [Griffin] Look at these, I
like these nasty little ones. Oh, yeah. And you know what's
great about that, Juice? Two more holes. - [Justin] Yeah, I love it. - Count the holes, one, two.
- Orifices for days. - [Griffin] Eyes are
technically three, four, nose-- - [Both] Five, six, seven, eight, nine-- - [Griffin] Ten, eleven.
(Justin laughs) - [Justin] Lemme go a little lower, the question starts to get a bit fuzzier. - [Griffin] Hairstyle, can
we get some holes in here? - [Justin] Can we please get some fucking cool-ass dreadlocks? (both laughing) It's offensive! I think it's offensive and he
doesn't even understand why. (Justin laughs)
- Yeah. - [Justin] He got it done and
walked into Starfleet Academy Day One, (laughing) and everyone's like "I don't think you should!" (laughing) - [Griffin] "I don't
think you should, bud." - [Justin] (laughing) "I don't think so." Oh man, the bald pattern is fun. - [Griffin] Which one? - [Justin] I mean, just the fact that, maybe it's not balding,
maybe it's just like the head is shaped-- - [Griffin] Like a Tonsure? - [Both] Yeah. - [Griffin] There was one
sort of nasty long hair that I kind of, this I kind of enjoy. - [Justin] I like that. - [Griffin] It's kind of mullet-like in a way that is fun for me. - [Justin] Space mullet. - [Griffin] What if this is
just beautiful blonde hair? - [Justin] (laughs) I could support that. - [Griffin] Hair shininess? - Boom, yes.
- Check. - [Griffin] I want to be able
to brush my teeth in his hair. Mouth accessory. (gasps) and a little cute mustache. (both laugh) - How do they think it's...
- Shit. - [Justin] How, how? Aw man, these are all-- - [Griffin] "My name is Commander Riker, "but a witch cast a spell on me." (Justin laughs) Now we come to the sliders. - [Justin] They're just gonna let us scale whatever we like here. - [Griffin] That's fine. Head overall width, yep. Head overall height. Okay. Head overall depth. - [Justin] Whoa, whoa! - [Griffin] Kinda like that. Skull height. (Griffin shouts in disbelief) - [Justin] Unbelievable. (Griffin laughs) Unbelievable. - [Griffin] Cranium slope. Holy shit! (laughing) Oh my god! (laughing) Look at his headphones! (Griffin laughs) - [Justin] This can't be a hero, he can't be a hero!
(Griffin laughs) He can't be a hero! - [Griffin] (laughing) This
Megamind-looking fucking dude! Oh my god, there's even more-- Justin! - [Justin] (laughing) Are
you fucking kidding me? (laughing) Impossible! - [Griffin] Holy shit! - [Justin] (laughing) Holy shit! It's impossible! - Oh, he likes that.
- This cannot be a cadet, a regular cadet, how are you blending in with your school chums, Chrumlor? - [Griffin] "Blargh, no
one likes me. (laughs) "Do you have any spices?" (Justin laughs) "My Walkman's charge is low, "it runs on my own bile--" - [Justin] His head, turn him to the side, is that a battery meter-- (laughs) - Yeah.
- Is that a battery meter on his fucking long... (laughs) - [Griffin] Yeah, it looks like it. - [Justin] "It's charged
by human emotions." (Griffin laughs) "I know it feels like a leap of faith--" (both laugh) (still laughing) - [Justin] Oh, he's the best! - [Griffin] The way he's
looking around, like "What's so funny? "What're you laughing at?" - [Justin] We're both agreed that he is the first of his kind to, well, I was gonna say go to Starfleet, but I'm just gonna end the sentence there, - Just the only one of these.
- One of his eyes is not even looking in the laser. - [Justin] (laughing) It's so far-- (laughing) although I like it below it, it's like bifocals. (laughs) - [Griffin] He looks like
a judgy librarian, like-- - [Both] "Hrm--" - - [Griffin] "You don't
know Dewey Decimal?" - [Justin] This is a real game. - [Griffin] It's a really good game. - [Justin] Real characters. No one's gonna like this guy-- (laughs) - [Griffin] Oh please, let's
find a role-playing server. We still have like two
whole more sections to go. - That's impossible.
- Nose, well, this won't be very fun,
'cause he doesn't have one, oh, wait. (sniffs) This one makes the
mustache even less visible. I wish he'd stop moving his head, I think I'm having trouble clocking him, because his head's so big that the movements are very dramatic. - [Justin] Is it taxing your personal computer graphics card? - [Griffin] Yes. Nostril position, yeah, by nature of the, oh my god. Okay, mouth, mouth should be fun, we should be able to get
some traction on mouth. Wow, he is nonplussed. - [Justin] He's like resisting
the sliders at this point. - [Griffin] M-hm, (laughing)
you can watch his upper lip like (groaning) "No! (groaning) "No!" - [Justin] "I won't!" - [Griffin] That is him on a bad day, and then, maybe he sees a dog
for a second out the window, and he's like "Hm". Jaw height. - Cool.
- Oh, boy. - [Griffin] Let's see the opposite, just-- (Justin groans)
Ugh, that's good too, dammit. - [Justin] God, they're both very good. - [Griffin] I hate it when
we get like this, Justin. - [Justin] I mean, what're we supposed to
do with this, Griffin? - This is bad.
- They're both very good! - [Griffin] This is
better, this is better. These guys, they're
having a day, aren't they. "Are you watching what's going
up on the dais right now? "Are you seeing this action
on the dais up there?" - [Justin] (laughs)
"Don't look, don't look--" - [Both] "Don't look, don't look." - [Justin] I like the idea of this guy as an extremely proficient lover. (Griffin breathes sharply) All the orifices you could want-- - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Pornography, any kind, in his holo-projector, ready for you. - [Griffin] And you know that
thing can output a projection, for when he likes to pass that
shit on the left-hand side. - [Justin] (laughing) Absolutely, he can turn into a party instantly. - [Griffin] Neck length. (exclaims) - [Justin] All the way down, I think, yes. The head height is such that-- - [Griffin] Yeah. The ratio would seem not as-- I don't know, man. (Justin laughs maniacally)
That ratio's pretty sweet. - [Justin] No, it's good. Neck bulk. - Dummy thick neck.
- Thick. - [Griffin] Loving that torso bulk. - [Justin] I want the
fiction that putting on this man's uniform every
day is a tantric exercise, (Griffin laughs)
that takes him hours (Griffin laughs)
to squeeze in. - [Griffin] I think we typically
go short torso, long arms, I'm wondering what the inverse, you see, that doesn't do much for me. - [Justin] (sighs) No. (groans) Good. (Justin laughs) - [Griffin] I want his shoulders
to be skinnier than his--- - [Justin] It's okay to have an aesthetic, you know what I mean? - [Griffin] Yeah, yeah, sure. Stomach size, whoa,
okay, they really let you have fun with that one. - I love it.
- Okay, can I say something? - [Griffin] The big
belly is lending itself to a kind of cartoonishness that almost seems to disarm
the effect of the head, do you know what I mean? His proportions now look
like he could show up on American Dad! or some shit. Man, I just kinda like a little kid body-- - Uh-huh.
- With a dummy thick head. Arms bulk. - Nope, not applicable.
- Jacked. - [Justin] Jacked, okay. - [Griffin] Jacked,
he's a science officer, but he can strangle you
to death with one hand. Upper arms bulk. This is weird, this is
what's weird, his tris? No good. His delts, or whatever the
arm calf one is called? Those are jacked. Those are huge. Hand size. (groans) (groans) Little. Hands bulk. Little but thick. - Yeah, fuck yeah.
- Little but thick. - [Griffin] Look at that, I effectively just flared
his sleeves with that. - Yes.
- That's hot as hell-- - [Justin] Good on them for
letting the sleeves adjust, a lot of people just
let the things-- whoa! - [Griffin] Changed my
mind, that's way better. - [Justin] Fuck, that's good! - [Griffin] Legs. He knows how to use 'em. Or does he? Nope, he doesn't. - [Justin] (exclaims) He doesn't. - [Griffin] Feet size. (both laugh) - [Justin] Did that lower his height? - [Griffin] It did. - [Justin] (laughing) Good on 'im! - [Griffin] I am worried we have made like a Chibi version of this guy, (Justin laughs)
just with the body mods, you know what I mean? I'm worried it's like a Chibi art style, and I really don't want
to disarm the effect that that big, big head and neck-- oh, oh hi. - [Justin] You know how Michelangelo said that the sculpture was
already in the rock, he just had to chip
away until he found it, I feel like this guy
was already in the rock. Everything we've done has
not been a conscious choice, it's just been chipping away
to find his essential essence. - [Griffin] Yeah. - [Justin] That is actually,
can I say something? That's better. - [Griffin] Okay, let's
return to the hands, then. Let's just go down. - [Justin] Can I just say, quick sidebar, you developers have done
a great job in this game with forcing the Starfleet
uniform to adjust to whatever our whims are. - [Griffin] It's really,
really incredible. - [Justin] It's fantastic. - [Griffin] I like the
torso just being sort of non-exciting, I like the flared arm body meat, that's cool to me, I like the
thick legs, the shoes, maybe. Let's go look at the shoes. - [Justin] You know The
Man From Another Place in Twin Peaks? - M-hm.
- This guy looks like the guy that The Man From
Another Place in Twin Peaks would have a dissociative nightmare about. Like when he has a nightmare, this is the guy who's waiting for him. - [Griffin] He does kind
of look like a child, but we're gonna be seeing his backside. - [Justin] So does Yoba,
but people love that guy! - [Griffin] Did you say "Yoba"? - [Justin] Did you say "Yoba"? - [Griffin] Oh my god,
they're gonna let us just fuck up the clothes. - [Justin] Aw, fuck yeah. - [Griffin] Fucking skin to win, Yoba! Let's see it! - [Justin] (laughs) Give
us what you got, bud! God, I love that. - [Griffin] None, not any. What about a cool, oh, that's very catch. (Justin exclaims) - [Justin] Casual day! - [Griffin] Color. - [Justin] I mean, I thought it was dictated by his position, but I guess not. I guess it's just whatever you want. I feel like he's bringing some
70's lounge energy to this. Looks like fucking Rick Moranis
in Ghostbusters. (laughs) - [Griffin] Yeah, I like
his yellow turtleneck he's definitely wearing. - [Justin] Yeah. - [Griffin] Maybe he does have bony claws. - [Justin] Does that help? - [Griffin] Helps me,
it'll help him beat ass. (Justin laughs) - [Justin] The most
dangerous man in the galaxy. - [Griffin] Maybe I'll meet
you halfway, bare long nails. - [Justin] Okay, good. - [Griffin] Uniform, pants
loose is pretty good, pants tight is good,
let's just check the-- (Justin laughs)
(Griffin talks under laugh) - [Griffin] I need a more casual shoes. - [Justin] That's true,
yeah, it's just boots though, (laughs) it seems. - [Griffin] Well, there's
"Boots tall loose". - [Justin] Kind of a floppy boot. - [Griffin] Kinda just a floppy boot. - [Justin] Oh, look at it, it's got kind of an UGG flavor now. - [Griffin] There is kind
of an UGG quality to it, let's go with maybe a
nice neutral earth tone. (both laugh) That sucks so bad. - [Justin] (laughs) It's really good. - [Griffin] Oh my god, wait, wait. This could be hot as hell, actually. Get that loud-- - Oh yeah, that's good.
- Wild style. - [Griffin] Fuck yes. Yes, yes! That's good, loving that belt. The belt is wrong in every imaginable way. - Not a lot of options.
- It's wrong in every way that a belt can be. - [Justin] (laughs) They issued him this, and he's like "What do I do with this?" - [Griffin] I love him. - [Justin] Yeah, this guy is great. - [Griffin] I love him,
I'm not afraid to say it. - [Justin] Probably our most
challenging adaptation yet. If you wanted to bring this guy
into the world of animation, - Or cosplay, yes.
- Or visual arts, a lot, he's a lot. - [Griffin] Enter a name. - - [Justin] (sighs) Captain, Captain... (Griffin types)
(Justin laughs) No way. (Griffin types)
(Justin laughs) (Justin laughs) Do that, see how long until we get fucking blasted out this game.
(both laugh) Captain Yoba Skywalker...
(both laugh) (laughing) No way! (laughing) No way will that get past-- (both laugh) the fucking censors. (Justin laughs) (Justin laughs) - [Griffin] Now people know
where my allegiances lie. Ship name. (Justin laughs) - [Justin] (laughing) With a K is great. (laughing) K is great. Time to get permanently banned
from Star Trek. (laughs) - [Griffin] You have your orders, Yoba. Engage! - [Justin] Impossible. Impossible that we've not
been ejected from this game. - [Griffin] I have lost
who I was following. (both laugh) I'm gonna need a different chair. (Justin laughs)
We're screamin' now! - [Justin] (laughing)
Is this full impulse? - [Griffin] (groans) My skin's
coming off my face-bones! (Justin laughs)
Enjoy my porno! It's Worf! Oh, Worf, Worf, Worf, Worf! - Aw, somebody help him!
- Worf, Worf, Worf! - [Griffin] Get Worf! - No!
- Get Worf! - [Griffin] Save Worf! (intense keyboard music) - [Justin] Hey, everybody, quick programming note,
in the near future, we're gonna be publishing new
episodes of Monster Factory just on the McElroy
Family YouTube Channel, so if you aren't already
subscribed to that, you'll wanna go ahead and do that. - [Griffin] Smash it, baby! - [Justin] Griffin, I asked you not to, I begged you not to-- - [Griffin] (groans) Smash that!
Look at all those ...
The funny part is that Star Trek Online is literally full of characters like this... they picked the wrong game to Monster Factory.