Men and dating?

hey hey Tony Gaskins here want to pop in question I'm addressing today and that is why do men date multiple women now this is common amongst men and I always tell women any time I'm coaching a lady I say listen if you're dating a guy you nine out of ten times one of three now if there are certain guys who it was tough for him to get one woman it was tough for him to be able to date you so he doesn't have any other options but pretty much every man I've ever met has had at least two options and I'm talking about all the way down from the man that's sleeping outside of the gas station and then all the way you know so even a homeless man has a couple options because it's his homeless women too I was at my son's soccer practice and I saw a whole homeless Club and they had a whole Club and they just eat chips and drink this soda and just lay outside of the bathroom at the soccer field having a good old time you know and I didn't even sense any depression or anxiety in the group and I was thoroughly impressed with the way that they handling this but one thing I noticed is it's some lovemaking going on is some couples going on so you'll so all the way across the board now somebody just said to me yesterday that there are 22 women to every man I don't know how true that is my sister just sent me a video today I don't get a chance to watch it and it said 3 million to 6 million black women can't find a husband or even a boyfriend and I was like my goodness I got to watch that it might be the old study that I saw a long time on ABC but I got to check that out now so I say that to say there are from what it seems like more women than men now the other thing is there is a lot that men go through especially minority and men of color who come from impoverished situations where you are introduced to the life of crime at a young age to earn a living and or you just your father whoever has been stripped from the family and is incarcerated and then that kind of becomes your future as well so it's a lot of women from those type of areas who their pool of men is shrunk by you know men going to prison men losing their life to violence and all of those other things and then you also have to deal with there's more and more men now who are dating men a lot of men now even at young ages as we just saw on the news deciding boys deciding they're gonna be girls so that is becoming a thing too that's another one lost from the pool of dating so when you factor in all of these different things incarceration death switching genders dating your same gender this pool of men it does shrink that's just that is a reality now somebody asks me Tony if it's so men and women and a lot less men then how is every woman don't have a man guess what the women who gonna have a man is the women who watch the videos now so what I mean by that is is when it's a whole lot of competition how do you beat the competition in anything in life think about this in anything in life how do you beat competition you get prepared you outwork them what I mean is you get more knowledge if you have more knowledge you're gonna pass the test if you pass the test with the highest score then you're gonna get the scholarship you get the scholarship you out work you're gonna get the degree you get a degree you out working you getting the trainings you're gonna get the job you outwork them on the job you're gonna get the promotion and the race you see what I mean so just not every woman is getting knowledge to better understand herself and to better understand the opposite sex a lot of women just watching reality TV a lot of women in the club every weekend a lot of women just you know wasting their time and datin Pookie and Ray Ray and wannabe adult work girlfriend so they end up going to prison behind him or they get into the only type of fraud with wit look Bonnie and Clyde man so they end up being a part of the pool cuz it's a whole lot of men that's incarcerated so it's gonna be all of them men that's incarcerated got a girlfriend ain't none I'm single all along got a girlfriend someone got two three girlfriends and they behind the bars you hear me so listen to what I'm telling you so the men in the free world now what happens is it's gonna be a group of those men that elevates to a level of maturity and they're gonna leave the grown boys behind and then that's how it's gonna even out because the women that are maturing will then be equal to the men that are maturing and then what you're gonna have is you're gonna have a whole lot of women that's fighting oh that have not matured that refuse to do the work because you got to think about it ain't a lot of relationship coaches that that have a brand that have a following and when you look at the amount of views on the video its millions of people in the world but when it comes to consuming knowledge it's not millions of people it's not millions of people consuming knowledge and working on themselves and then you've got a lot of people that come and they watch hours and hours of Netflix and jump television and then come to a teaching video and first thing they do is go in the comment oh I really wish you could get to your point a lot sooner oh my goodness like is can you get to the point faster I don't have this kind of time okay that's why you're single that's why you broke busted and disgusted because finally a man decided to open his mouth yeah the game you can play in it okay stay right on over there stay right on over there with that group of women okay with the immatures and then the matures gonna elevate so here's the thing there is a difference in the number of women and the number of men so for one I'll tell you this as a man I'm gonna be honest with you most men it's not in this position to tell you this so I'll be honest with you as a man it is mind boggling it is mind boggling it is head swimming when you step out and you looking around and there is beauty everywhere there is boot I don't know what it's like for a woman okay because I don't know what an attractive man looked like now I know a looks challenged man but he had to be really looks challenged for me to recognize that and I don't see that often not every now and then I will see me somebody am and I just and it'll catch me off-guard and I'm like Lord Lord blessing blessing giving lord give him all the strength that he need and I pray and I pray for people and I lift them up I lift them up when I see them if I feel like in my heart that they looked challenged but on average I don't know when I'm seeing me now when I'm looking round at women this is the thing I even as a married man I see every person who passed me every woman every man and I'm not lusting after women cuz I'm married and according to my belief that is the sin but I am NOT blind okay I can see we even rape Charles knew what he was looking for mm on the movie and he grabbed that wrist and he rubbed on that wrist well I got all my vision and I tried to get glasses one time and the doctor says son you got 2015 2015 is better than 20/20 he said 2015 is actually the real perfect vision I'm like Lord I'm trying to get some glass trying to look cool not everybody's got glasses and not one let me get glasses he said you probably need more rest if you if your vision blurred you need to sleep a little more I was trying to look sexy and smart it with some glasses and the doctor shut that down so I say that to say and I got big eyes ever since I was little and my youngest now he got big eyes he got my eyes and so what I mean by that is I miss a thing I do not miss a thing do you see the size of my eyes I do not miss a thing and I go up to somebody even with my basketball teams I work with and I say something to one other player I say yeah you did it's right here and they were like man you see everything how did you see that oh they all miss nothing okay so guess what as a man I will tell you okay it is beauty in the eye of the beholder and it is beauty in every woman I told you all but when I was younger and I was friends with the young lady and I said she had a thick tongue and she's Italian oh I don't do that honey I don't mess with friends and I was shocked and appalled you know I was hurt but even her who did not have a lot of men or anything like that on guys we was young so I couldn't say man I'm chasing after her there was beauty in the eye of the beholder and so what I say that to say is that it's easier for men to see beauty to see something attractive in a woman than it is for women I've noticed that in jest coaching so like so I could be coaching a woman and show her a man and women are a whole lot more picky until they get desperate but women are a whole lot more picky than men now let's see a man could look at a woman he's gonna see something it might be one eyelash that he think is cute you know what that last over there really is getting to me just the way it's blinking and it'll be one thing that he grab ahold of and it might be her thighs it might be her calves it may literally be her ankle it might be her feet if she got on sandals and she got it on what you call that one a pedicure and she got a pedicure literally literally I'm not joking with you now how many women do you know have wanted to talk to a man because of how good his feet look but that is how some men are it might be her eyes it might be her lips it might be another it might be her hairstyle it might be her outfit it might be her midriff it could be Liv it could be her cheekbones it could be her smile and I never heard anything about it ear but pretty much everything else a man to find something to be attracted to now so what I'm saying here is it's a whole lot of women that is true there's not as many men so it's kind of like if you go into a Chanel store right and they say to you listen this whole store you get to pick you one thing what you're gonna do you're going to try on every pair of shoe you're gonna put the purses on you scrolling back and forth strutting you in the mirror you're taking your time you're gonna be another three hours trying to find to that one thing you ever did that with with your little one your son or your daughter you take them in a store look you get one toy and they got to pick up every single one every single one that's what a man takes into adulthood when he goes into the world because he now a lot of men are grown boys but even a man who's a grown man he still has all of these options and just human nature you trying to pick slowly and you trying to pick carefully and it's the thing see it's it's more women who have started and some women try to argue with me about this but if you wanted those women who you didn't plan your wedding and you wasn't talking about marriage at nine or ten years old guess what you are an exception to the rule because majority of women have been talking about a husband since kindergarten why do I know because I have a son and be coming home talking about Oh such such you know this this little girl here said she's married to such such I'm like what's he know about marriage and what y'all playing house and y'all playing mommy and daddy and he tell him about all this and this what the arm and the moms have come to my wife and said yeah my daughter says she's marrying tayden said today's gonna be her husband and I'm like wow so you can't tell me I don't know what I'm talking about when I say that it's a lot of women who've been thinking about marriage from early on now the boys go along with it but it wasn't they idea they were like oh okay I'm yo okay you my wife okay cool yeah and and be head over heels for but it wasn't his idea and so what happened when you when you become an adult man now it's time to choose your wife and here's the thing it is extremely and this may be the case for a woman I'm not saying that it's not the case I'm not a woman but this may be the case for a woman that it may be extremely terrifying choosing a life partner and for a man is even more terrifying because the man has to see the woman he has to approach the woman he has to shoot his shot he has to court the woman he has to ask her to be his girlfriend then he has to propose get on one knee then he has to marry her and he is expected to provide so that's a lot of pressure and I don't think sometimes you know I'm always walking through the woman's life and when as I'm recording my audio book which I can't be here too long today because I got to go record the audio book for our new book a woman's influence which I need you to pre-order in the name of the Lord please Lord touch this person heart to pre-order the book it's called a woman's influence and I'm reading this book for the first time I wrote it but this is my first time reading it and with the way I write I just flow it's just the noise in the spirit just flow through me and I write the whole book in like three to five days and when I'm done I don't even remember what I said so now I'm reading it and I'm like Lord amen gonna be ready to kill me I am really considering the woman's plight in the world and I do that as a man but a lot of times women don't think about the man and what the man got to do and what the man has to go through and so I want you to think about if you were the one who had to be the chooser to go and make the choice and to put yourself out on a limb and then the person you going after they get the power to say yes or no so the woman imagine a man get on one knee yes will you marry me and then you standing up there looking down not quite it's a little early um sorry uh yeah you stand up imagine what that I feel like as a man and so just although it don't happen often it does happen it does happen enough but just the thought of it happening sent a man booty clamp sweating bullets nice wobbly he is going through it because what if I get on this knee and then woman look at me like I'm crazy and asked me to stand back up because I haven't jumped the gun so he terrified that does not bode well when he terrified in here grown boy now you got a recipe for disaster cuz you got a scared man who was insecure unconfident worried and he has not been raised right he has not been taught how to be a man he has not been taught how to be a husband which none of us really taught that I mean very very few men taught how to be a husband because you see it and you see the double standards it's like oh my boy I could do what he want to do oh my girl you need to sit you need to be able to hold a dime between your knees girl what is you doing but what old man I'm glad he's like I'm dead gladdie like girls and so it's a double standard it's never to the to the girl let's never I'm just so glad she liked boys it's never that it's listen don't you be talking to nobody don't don't hook don't look to the boy is a go ahead oh I get your song a good dog but hey you know patting them on the back so men are not being taught it's how you court a woman it's how you love a woman this how you cater to a woman this how you be a hook I'm teaching mine because I the work that I do I know I see the plight but in the average household that ain't being told okay and so in your household you need to teach it if you under the sound of my voice cuz now you know now you're part of the tribe now you could teach the lesson that need to be told and so this what and you may be here on this video because you may hear some things that you've never heard in your household some of the things gonna be a confirmation but some of the things gonna be a revelation so now you gotta teach your household and that's why that's what's gonna play into this right here so what's happening is you have these men who coming in okay now I just hurt the lady in my head okay you please get to the point because I did looked up and seen him I'm at 22-minute Lord forgive me y'all gotta forgive me I just I just don't want to leave nobody behind and different people mind process things differently so that's why I be dancing around and trying to put it in paint different pictures okay forgive me did just the way I teach so understand this hell so here you have this man okay you got this world that has this double standard you got a lot of the men going to prison a lot of them getting life taking in the streets and then you got you got a group of them that changing a gender they didn't change their mind they twelve they said look the Lord called me to be a woman not a man so nowadays they switching teams then you got the man who say look I like my own I do not want me no but JD I want no tight booty of a man and so they want them a man now that's between them and Jesus I'm not condemning and talking about anybody okay cuz it's not my time yet the Lord's not called me to that yet so understand is this just what's happening so then you got this hill group of men here okay who did not go to prison did not lose their life in the street did not choose to become a woman did not choose to date a man and they want to date women and then you got these women over here so now this man he goes without any preparation on how to be a husband and he sweating bullets and he's scared to death so this is why and understand this explaining man is not excusing man I'm not saying it's right that a man should date multiple women and when I say date I mean lie to have three girlfriends and all of them thinking they the one that's wrong that is wrong but I'm telling you why men do it now when I tell women I tell women all time say listen date multiple men as long and what I mean by that is go on different dates go on three four five days it could be in the same week you could do seven dates in one week and then when you choose the one that you want to go on date number two it it might be from seven it might go to fold that you won't date number two from for it might go to two that you won't date number three from them to they might you might go on five days on date six you might say okay I chose the one I got the one listen to me as long as your legs aren't closed and as long as you ain't calling Tom Harry and called a hairy tongue ain't nothing wrong with that it is nothing wrong with being courted and going on these days this what I tell my daughter you keep your legs closed and don't put all your eggs in one basket now here's the thing women some women try to say oh well we know different than man you know oh you just think men only one they got the dados feelings that go through that we y'all ain't only one we want to sleep around too we want to sleep around more for me and two we want to do and it be certain women who say this okay and I'll just be like child please I live with a woman I was raised by a woman and I got a sister that ain't every woman dreamed to be hopping from microphone the microphone pole to pole that's yo issue that you need therapy for okay that ain't near body issues now when it come to me that's Arab an issue because I've never in my life met a man that said listen okay I just want to be with one woman the entirety of my life all right well I'll take that back I damn it by 5:00 I met three got I met three I didn't met three yeah I take that back out of met three and they all was around 23 to 26 at the time that I met him that they were singing that now I don't know if that has changed I lost touch with him I don't know if that has changed but I have met three men so let me change that and who only wanted to be one one so what's happening here is to the women what I hear the most often from women is women say what Tony I can't do that like I don't feel comfortable dating three guys at one time like that's too hard for me I just don't feel right when I hear that that lets me know right then that women and men are different because I've never heard a man say that you never hear a man say man I just feel so bad about going on these three days with three different women I feel terrible man I just cannot look myself in the mirror you never hear that from no man give me even them virgins they still want to date around they still wanna go on every day they could get you me and so but a lot of women struggle with and that's one I have to define what I mean listen you thinking kissing swallowing spit getting on your bike eventually cooking for a man cleaning for you thinking about having three husbands I said three dates okay that means going out having a conversation y'all ain't kissing Heaney picking you up at your place he don't know what you live at you draw your own car or Road your own bus bicycle tricycle or train to get to the date he don't know what you live okay he have your phone number but it's only five all of the change that if he take a stupid pill and you find out he crazy change that number so this is what you need to understand what a man is doing they don't leave multiple women the reason why he doing it is because he's scared he is afraid to choose wrong this one time I when I say that some talking about a decent man I'm not just talking about I'm not talking much a grown boy his lap dog I'm talking about a decent man he is scared to death so what he trying to do is he trying to date multiple women because he trying to see and then guess what he when all the women and this why I try to tell y'all listen to what I'm telling you now listen to me nine you mean this is what I'm trying to tell y'all when I met my wife okay when I met my wife I was talking to I had got the phone number of four other women okay recently within the within 30 days of meeting my wife when I met her also to this what was met this woman at a little college little lounge right and she was probably she was on the cusp okay of voluptuous she was too props used by one good snicker bar away from you know being in another dress eyes and I looked at and I say Lord I was looking for my wife I say I like no one with some meat on the bones I like my one with some meat on the bones nine she might she on her way Lord okay but and I just talked to like consult law I was looking for my wife met her talk to her probably one day try a splurge there too much regretted it date I mean I'm in college I'm 21 years old they called me 60 $70 by will hide I will hide while trying to look classy okay met another woman now this one was 10 years older than me so she was 32 but she were too slim so one was almost too voluptuous then one was almost too slim 9 to slim didn't shave her legs what not what's not hairy did not look like Teen Wolf but had no hair on our legs then I was comfortable with ok because at that time I shaved my legs because I was a college athlete I had just finished playing football in college and we shave I live they'll make our muscles balls a little more to make us look more athletic and and stronger so for me it was a struggle for women have mohel on her leg than me nah she had it lotion down it was slicked down but that kind of made a little worse because now I really could see it and I'm just like Lord you know I just I just see a woman as just this smooth clean pristine it just told him off with the hell but great personality great personality now the other one who like I say with voluptuous she had attitude she had attitude problem she liked art and I had come out of a relationship that were toxic controlling abusive it was just crazy I didn't I I was not excited about no one who liked the art cuz look here I just was not wired to be arguing with no woman give me and then met another woman who she worked at the same booth of my wife okay but they didn't talk to each other they weren't friends nah I just got other none with me a hug never talk never talk even on the phone on the tanks and then down the hall at another store cousin wife worked in the mall that a jurist and met another young lady who she would have been number two you know right behind my wife in in sense of attractiveness you know body and everything was perfect linked up we linked up one time and we linked up and she told me she said well I'm 17 I said what that got to go got to go why you need to tell me that in the mall I got you way over here what you trying to get me on chart chopped hey you got to go so that was our last time talking so the one talked to a one kind of find out she's 17 we talking again the other one just shot my shot just to shoot my shot it just was getting reps in the gym just like you practicing you know just to shoot my shot was not really what I was looking for I was a little too tall I had some insecurities because I'm 510 she probably looked at 6-1 if she put on some heels 6-2 so just with Schulman shot just to shoot my shot okay my jump 21 this is this the way a lot of men operate this way me anything so that was a practice run the other one was attracted to her you know the one who had a you know the body honor was attracted to her but she had too much mouth fullness she like target too much I'm like I could tell you from the hood you hear me when I when you hit me say oh well I don't agree with that she was one of them and I just I'm not really built for that and then hit go just all the lady I'm like you know technically she could shave her legs okay cool but if she and her third is and she did swim that's her body type and I don't know you know because I just everybody had a preferences I'm 21 years old still dealing with preferences so this is the same this what every man is going through it's like you're trying to find the right one and certain things gonna wait more than others and so here's the thing a women has a woman has the 100% right to do the same thing but a lot of y'all choose not to because you want to put all your eggs in one basket because you think just talking to somebody mean all in relationship when you got a bill to that point so the reason why men date multiple women is because this is a life choice you don't want to marry somebody to get divorced and this is an extremely hard choice because you literally I remember somebody telling me back in the day that lana was 32 1 thirty women one man so if it's 30 to one and in that one a third of them half half for the man like me and a half other man read in his transition to be a woman another half of the man going to prison another half for the man gonna lose his life in the streets so you live with ten percent of a man so so really it ain't thirty to one nice thirty two point ten you hear what I'm saying and so now of course in when the one inside some of them gonna date women you know some of them don't go to jail you know it's gonna be so it's gonna trickle down to what you might still be at fifteen the point ten and so when that happens it's just like you go in anywhere it's hard to eat at a buffet cuz you like man I see three folk different meals like a half but I can't eat all that so you're trying to get a little portion and you eating a little old tiny meal just so you could taste all the meals it's hard to go into a shoe store and you got enough you got two hundred others in that pretty much cover air pad any pass shoes and then so you trying on firepower shoes the same thing happened even though you're dealing with humans it's way bigger than then merchandise because this is a person you got the light down with this the person you got the light down next to so you also as a man man trying to make sure for one if I marry this woman I want to be until death do us part that's literally a man goal and I know a lot of women don't believe that but deep down in a man now maybe not that many deeps but deep down in a man the reason why you hear a lot of men say well I need to be financially stable before marriage a lot of men say that because truthfully he wants to provide a lot of meaning to say well I need to get it out of my system before I get married talking my messing around because truthfully he believes in marriage he wants to be faithful so innately a man is not Jess you know just vicious and nasty a decent man now you're gonna have savages when you talk about them but a decent man he wanna provide and he wants to be faithful and then when you look at the amount of women - the amount of men and especially to the amount of decent man don't argue with me on this because you know it's true because it feels off if it was a smorgasbord of decent man if decent men come a dime a dozen you wouldn't be in the situation that you in now something y'all happily married but you can attest to for you happily married you can attest to all of the women you know who are not happily married or who could be married and married to a trash man so and I'm not talking about a man work on a garbage truck I'm talking about a no-good man so understand this right here it is a big choice that a man has to make and that a woman has to make and that is why I say go on multiple dates now don't string multiple people alone now let me tell you what happened let me get back to this historic so here go for women out of men right one council that all right one counts that because you've 17 but it was three others Oh three others another one countless that I just cuz I mean what I'm looking for and I just sense the LaHood limo who it the other one like the article I probably could have dealt with it but and I was dealing with it probably two three meetups two three meetups no sleeping together the other one with with how on the legs great personality could easily say well and I just didn't had no man and just one one when the thing you know didn't everybody some people come on country and when you come up country and you know just down-home your mama in like that you know your mom ain't all miss priss she's not telling you about no shaving so get anything you got some women who they Miss Priss so date daughter wearing makeup in the field grade you when makeup shaving a leg doing all of that you know come 1314 getting you know all kind of pampering because that's come from their mama some people ain't like that so it's a lot of women don't say they live because the moment he passed that down to them or they dad didn't tell them it's not a thing so there wasn't necessarily a deal-breaker but at the same time I'm like just 1 to 10 years older than me technically newsflash no flaccid the done breaking news men not really attracted to women and older it is a it could be a fetish it could be a notch in the belt but typically the only time a man really want a woman that's older is when he's a grown boy and he's looking for a mommy then he can sleep with that's a special type of man who looking for a mom he could sleep with on average a man want to be with a woman his age or he want to be older because that's why you see a lot of men and they forties and fifties trying to deal with 35 yos because it is it's just more attractive to a man to have I don't know how to work this new you hear me you're younger less trauma less mileage you know it's just different then older because that's just not in a man dream it just it's just not for a woman you might want you to older man a lot of women said they want older man because of the maturity difference and to be honest with you that's the same thing that a man won't admit to but if a man dealing with a with a woman that's older than him he already feel insecure because he knows the difference in the level of maturity so no offense to the ladies who you know you and your fifties or your sixties don't get offended because a 45-yard don't genuinely want you he might want you for your 401k for your retirement check you know if you over fifty-five for your Social Security if you get no.62 for your Social Security check but it's not a genuine desire it's just not object be honest which I'll be the one man that tell y'all the truth it is a notch in the belt it is a fantasy to sleep with but not to be with okay understand that so this here man when I'm looking I'm like okay 110 years older than me so it's like I know women who became my mother at ten so it just - it just was too much of an age difference she just in two parts of life and then here was I met my wife okay when I met her she wasn't perfect so it and so this what happened man a lot of times caught up in preferences and some women struggle with this - I hear a lot of women say oh I was talking to a woman other day a client other day she said a night Tony I got a tight night I got a tight I say listen he got a tight - so judge as you want to be judged so you want judge him understand you're gonna judge you to say oh I got a tight night so certain women have a tight me and have a tight so when I met my wife it wasn't every single box checked off and I'm pretty sure I won the every box checked off for her you know she had a little less booty than I would have hoped for and I talked to the Lord about it I watched her walk away one day and I thought I don't know if I could do this Oh Lord Lord you know I need I'm looking for me some Road Time Lord she though I come on but guess what this right here goes to show you that it ain't all about physical because although my wife at at the time had a long bike now she got a whole booty okay cuz she's a hat too brought to into the world shilling went through the workout regimen she didn't built that muscle back down if she let some sit on it and now I'm I am greatly pleased and I thank the Lord the Lord told me trust me on this in due time in due season imma give you what you asked me for so understand body and all that could change a person might be a little heavier than you wanted to be guess what that's what the gentleman and a healthy eating regimen for that that could come off they might be a little slimmer than you want me to be well that's what the gym and a healthy eating regimen for so when I got my way although all the little stuff the boxes one check on the preferences everything was checked on the standards amazing conversation did not argue was not interested in Argan and debating and amazing conversation let me talk as long as I need to talk as much as I wanted to talk and then she told beautiful smile just great energy no the Lord Lord of lords ambitious got goals got dreams going to school to be a doctor and I had a look look grown boy and me nine so when I heard doctor I automatically yes I yes they're home dad my God thank you Lord that got flipped on me because she end up being the one not working since the age of 20 and 19 her thirties and have not had a job and the Lord sent me into the field of work and so it worked died but I say that to say that is why men date multiple women and because of the the choice that has to be made is a lot that's riding on that picking a life partner is not easy so when you meet a man you have to expect and understand that you one of three at the least you one of two it might not be that all the time now this what I need you to understand I met the mother women before I met my wife as soon as I met my wife and we sat down and we had a conversation and we talked we talked six hours I never talked to any of those other women in that way again Yello hey and bye if I saw him you know bumping song hey how you doing but it never was oh I want a date you wanna be with you what's up boo I miss you I love you you said it was none of that because I meant the one and that's honestly oh you know what I forgot to say Lord forgive me if you got a good point put be bless in the comments you remember when I was telling you in 2020 you got to stand out a lot of times why me and a and so many women cuz every woman the same in their own way nobody's standing out see my wife she stood out she stood out just because of the way she carried herself because of the knowledge the education that she had she had emotional intelligence and she had a quiet confidence not an arrogance so she knew not the you know she knew not to argue and debate with a stranger cuz it ain't worth her time so she disagreed with something I said I was none the wiser because she probably just took a mental note but come to find out she disagree with nothing I said we was on the same page on our standards on our foundational beliefs so all of that worked out and then she carried herself different because she met me outside on the park bench it was no bringing me in her apartment or coming in my apartment other people move every other woman moved different than that oh just come over to my apartment oh I come to your apartment and first date you behind closed doors and you were in a position what some could go down and so why did that differently that stood out Tim I'm like whoa it woman for two three times she didn't linked up with me she got apartment she lived by ourselves she don't know what a parent she is let me go in now but she got me sitting outside on his heel bench and my booty hurting and so could we sit on his heart bench for six hours talking so that stood out to me you know and then just having high goals dreams ambition so it's different when you say I wanna be this right here and that right there don't really take too much dedication commitment or sacrifice and then you say I wanna be this and I'm like whoa if one that got some dreams some ambition that's separated and so that's what I mean so even though she one built exactly how I had envisioned I felt I could work around that I'm like okay you know we'll work around that okay I'm be slipping on some pound cake and I'm gonna be taking up here to Popeyes I introduced to the Popeye that was her first time having Popeyes when she met me cuz she's Jamaican you know like to make noodle eat fried chicken like that and so could he encourage chicken and brown stew chicken and curd goat stuff like that so fried chicken fried food is not really a big big thing into making culture not someone do fried day Friday night did you make it restaurant on the buffets but she had ate fried chicken and so she told me when I took it'll pop out that was her first time going to pop and I see could be lying trying to make me feel special but I believe but I'll try to and I start putting a little weight on the night and I started taking up better eating dumplings and then rice and peas that you're making spotted I remember when I met her mom in the first time she said you keep taking yeah you're gonna is gonna show up on the hips and I said in my head exactly where I want it show up at y'all wanna be slim and looking like a cardboard I want me some body and so that's what I was thinking and showed no got it the day I'll be walking around here squeezing and juicing every day I'm squeezing on booty so I say oh let us say I want you to understand that don't be shocked and appalled to realize that you ain't the only person he meant but this how you win this thing the way you win it is by being authentically you don't try to play a role don't try to be no one else and don't get on your bike do not get on your bike because listen to what I'm telling you now okay this is what I'm telling you when you meet this man you don't know how much wrong boy he has in him so just like the man I interview on on Instagram live one time and he said he met this this woman and he went on to the bed because he was tall coming up that you try them like that and if they give in then you know that they too easy and then you move on guess what I was taught the same thing a lot of men was taught that and so what you have to realize as a woman you got to know you one of a few or one of several so if you go to Holland by oh I felt the chemistry and oh I want it too and you get on your bike you just played yourself because he don't judge you for that and yes that's not right to ask you to do something and then judge you for doing it but this essentially what an undercover cop does to somebody hey come over here hey Sam and Sam and some some drug and then you said it's warming it up going to jail and that's what happened tomorrow I'm doing 40 years sold to $20 her drug under color and then didn't take the plea took the trial and they throw the book out on this well technically you'll be doing 27 years for $20 withdraw that's this it life ain't fair life is not fair so when a man come he put that full-court press on you and get you on your bike he judge you for that life ain't fair but if you have your standards and you say listen I don't I'm not sleeping with no man I don't know I'm not sleeping with no man that's not my husband or a man that's not ain't been wit for a year or six months y'all have your own rules I say wait till marriage but some of y'all loose booty you're gonna do what you want to do go ahead you got to live with the repercussions and the consequences but let me tell you what I'm telling you he gonna judge you for every flaw for every weakness and guess what you have the right to judge him to judge as you will be judged in the good book tell you just not because you will be just as you'll be judged but guess what it is talking about a different kind of judge this right here judge ain't really judging it's really discernment it's really you reading somebody and yes you're making a judgment call because your life depends on it your future depends on it so that's why this is important and so I want you to understand that in this day and age do not get with no man and in the first month go to assuming you the only one not in the exceptional case of my wife she became the only one in the first month because she was exceptional in my mind you might be exceptional in your mind but you don't know what he's looking for so he might not think you are exceptional he might think you average so if you thinking oh I'm an exception I know I'm the one so I'm safe I could go ahead and bust its name wide open cuz I know I didn't got this man guess what you're gonna be up the creek without a paddle looking like booboo the fool and then next thing he you know he owned by his business he going by this business leaving you sitting there looking like who shot John and forgot to kill them so listen to what I'm telling you and understand is you are one of many when you meet this man and you're dealing with this man and understand that it is ok for you to date and say sleep with and say be in a relationship with to date this mean go on a date and have that conversation that's what I'm saying if you if you got enough man to do that seven times in a week that's fine as long as your legs close and your eyes and ears open and you ain't told one of them we are exclusive and I guess what there are some men that will tell you y'all exclusive and he lying there are men who want all of you and still want to share himself but if you are attentive and you pay attention to the signs you're gonna be able to tell because he gonna be a little distant he's gonna be unreachable at times that he should be reachable he gonna be every other day type of dude you don't hear from every day you don't FaceTime him every day and he could do all let us still have somebody else but if you pay close enough attention your eyes are open and your legs are closed you will be able to tell if he entertaining other women and then you can decide if you want to entertain other dates until the two of y'all say we're gonna be exclusive 100% and you truly believe that it feel that it is Tony Gaskins I apologize for going this long please forgive me I just I need to get everything god I probably forgot three four things but god bless you make sure you check the links in the description book your coach on my mentor that life I'm on there as well if you are a coach or a consultant you can join the site just how your professional headshot so that you can help others god bless you we'll talk soon

Channel: Tony Gaskins

Views: 57,677

Rating: 4.9278116 out of 5

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Id: sso2v_phORU

Length: 59min 22sec (3562 seconds)

Published: Wed Feb 19 2020