Dealing With An Ex

let me get this set up I'm trying now make sure my Wi-Fi on slow day today so I wanted to pop in answer some more questions I mean every time when I try to do it I try to get through the questions but can't always get to them also being that we pretty still right now I figure no better time god bless you Oleg so if I miss you last night or if you missed the Q&A just put your question with a hashtag Q in there and then I'll catch it if I can can you do a video on men with mommy issues please that's a good one I'll try to do that I remember to put that down I'm guessing like Mama's boys Keely god bless you god bless you how to stop obsessing over a crush you know what I feel like that's a huge issue that a lot of women have and what happens is you're taking you give a man credit that he hasn't earned and the thing about it with what you see it across the board what a lot of women are doing is you thinking about and really what it is you thinking about love and you falling in love with the idea of love but you really don't have love and you really don't know that man so you just have to remind yourself and be able to say to yourself over and over I don't know him I don't know him I don't know him and when you realize that and then you have to ask yourself you know what is he giving me does he notice me is he paying attention to me is he coming for me and the answer is no the more you give yourself that reality check the more it helps you can you do a video on single mom overcoming relationship how to recover fully for a good man no can't do that on here I love just because you two you know guidelines you can't talk about that topic on here so you probably need to do therapy we got some therapists on my mentor dot life I don't know if Alka see the website on here my mentor that life its coaches on there who are also you know therapists or view in their state then you can you know find a coach in your state but to too deep for for you to and but at the same time Angelica god bless you I see you right there let me see who I miss somebody bless you now i'ma try to be on here today - my phone died nah I still got the iPhone 10 so this battery ain't as good as that 11 so I heard I need I'm gonna try to get get that 11 but they never closed the store so I didn't get get to it how to stop unblocking my ex and giving him access to me that's gonna be a personal choice you know that's gonna be your personal choice but the way you gonna be able to do that is you got to remind yourself why you blocked them you got to remind yourself why you broke up with them so you got to sit down and go through that and the thing is just like anything in life when something first happens we we feel it but then with time time starts to heal it because you get further away from it and we forget the steam we forget what it felt like so then you forget what it felt like and then you unblock them and you give them access but and that's because you're not reminding yourself of who he is and what he did and why you had to block him to begin with it's also because you're not doing the work so you have to ask yourself how many coaching sessions have I had how many courses have our online courses have I taken how many seminars have I gone to how many books have I read see what happens when you do the work which I always talk about doing the work when you do the work you taking you replace the old with the new because when you're doing the work you are now gaining clarity and you understand what you went through so you can label that you can put a label on that and say okay that was this that was this and then now you understand it and you can move forward but as long as you sitting still and you're not doing the work you really don't even understand and process what you went through so that's how it's gonna help you with that hey Tony can you do a video on how being hot there y'all asked me some questions on here for here because y'all asked about a video just pull the question from that because ain't gonna build write it down now they better remember all that so you know just whatever question you have on that just ask me a question on it it's my turn a guy wants to be with me but lives with an X and kids saying they're roommates that's a lot that's a lot he want to have you he wanted to have you on roster but a man never gonna live with his ex and their kids and nothing be going on it also means if he living there that means that he doesn't have the means to be on his own to pay for to pay his own way he don't have the money or he's still in relationship so was one of the other either he doesn't have the stability to stand on his own two feet or he's still in the relationship with her that's the only reason a man gonna live with one samantha is a coat my contact info is on my mentor got life I'll be glad to help you samantha is a coach on on my mentor got life y'all make sure you if you're looking for a coach that you visit the site hey Tony thank you for taking the time to do what God called you to do you repeat yourself a lot and it takes a lot of patience to continue to do so on such a gene with loving way god bless you a thank you I'm glad you realize that I'd be having say the same thing over and over every day but you know it's always somebody new who missed the message the time before is it okay to say hi to a man or should I ignore him until he notices me because isn't it important to build a friendship first before actually dating I mean you could I don't know what you mean by saying hi like if you pass in a man and and you smile and not like you look his way and y'all catch eyes and you smile and not you know in essence that's high but if you mean walking up to him to say hi my name is such-and-such that's not necessarily your doing the most because what you have to realize about men is that a man sees you a man sees you before you see him and if he doesn't see you that means he's not looking for women that means he is locked in he focused on whatever it may be his woman his goals his man but if he does not approach you and say something to you that means he either is not into you or he is off he's emotionally unavailable so it's never time to approach a man and say hey because men just have it in us innately to approach the woman we want to approach and if a man isn't approaching you it's a reason for it Ashley I'm glad you catching the lives tone I just found out I can become a coach on my mentor got life I'm coming hey go ahead share yeah it's it's open when you go on my mentor got like you'll see one button says become a coach one button says hire a coach so yeah if you'll coach or your consultant it's a good time to join why so many people around the world sitting still and working on themselves how did he see me as week when I checked him on how did he see me as week when I checked him on any disrespect and was willing to leave you have no change I'm not sure if you finished an on front from another question okay how do you know if a man has mommy issues and if he does how can I still date him you you can tell that's a good question thank you for putting it in question for him just in case the video is much from now you can tell when a man has mommy issues by he will interject her he will put her in your situation so he will be quoting her for one he'll call her in front of he'll call her in front of you and so you will see him talking to her all the time so that that will happen and another thing what'll happen is he'll always be leaning to what my mom said this well let me ask my mom my mom said that you know or if it's mommy issues in the sense of on the flip side for some people if she wasn't a good mom if she wasn't there then he may have a disdain for women you'll noticed that as well so it's different types but when his mom is coming up and things are getting in the way like for example like I'm married as y'all know going on 13 years this month and I have two sons with my wife so my mom and I we talk on the phone probably once a month which I need to increase that but that's because my focus versus my family and if me and my wife talking about something I don't have to say let me check with my mom let me get my mom's opinion you know my wife doesn't have to worry about what my mom said this my mom said that you know and there's been times to where my mom has wanted to overstep her boundaries and had to get checked by me and be told listen this is my wife you know don't don't don't come out the mouth anything negative about my wife I had to tell my mom that my sister that you know anybody other women constituents colleagues don't come out of my fro about my wife so to in essence and the Good Book says a man will forsake his mother and father and cleave to his wife so if you don't feel that sense that this man is grown and stands on his own two feet then that's when you need to if it's even a question about him having mommy issues then you got to be real about that and address that neasha god bless you god bless you for your blessing I love my ex he is in the streets read between the lines he has a criminal background but has a good soul to leave him for that that does not make sense it does make sense to leave him for that because if you don't believe in him to the point to where you know I was in the streets that's why my wife loved me and if you don't and that's why I became Who I am see has she not left me when I was in the streets and when I said I was in the streets I was a full time in the streets when we first got back together I wasn't working a job and then I went and got a job because she wasn't cool with it and then even having a job I still went back to the streets and although it was I had to start over and small and I'm building back up eventually it would have got really really big but what happens is is I got raw and just how them guys touched my car well in my car I had envelopes I had mail to my house which had my apartment number on it so guess what they could also later touch my house which had my wife and my son in there so it'll bring it the danger to your front door and so you can't talk about you know a good soul if you got a good soul and speak to his good soul you know speak to his guilt you know help him get the money he got and open a barber shop open a clothing store write a book you know do something like other than something that's illegal because if you are reinforcing that and he's gonna stay there and eventually it's only two options with that you're gonna lose your life literally or metaphorically speaking you're gonna lose your freedom or you're gonna lose your life it just point blank period ain't no ain't no other option ain't no way out no other way out unless you get out heyy god bless you a little bro Tony checked out your IG and read the q and A's it answered quite a few of my questions you rock blessings to you and yours always a thank you so much for reading that like you and I get a little draining but I try to do it because people always say hey do the Q&A do the Q&A so I try to go in there I miss I miss a little bit but I'm back on it right now cuz we sitting down glam-doll bless you I'm 22 and my ex is 21 now y'all see our title this here live on dealing with us because I get sold me the question by the ex I said let me just give this thing a title because everybody asked about the eggs but you can ask about whatever I'm twenty-two of my exes twenty-one but I broke up with him because he was emotionally cheating he recently told me he physically cheated and hopes he could win me back with honesty should I give him a chance I was a little not absolutely not gonna bite your business keep going and you know you did the right thing and a man does not try to get you back with honesty that's not what you trying to do honestly he trying to hurt you boy he trying to hurt you more because what he's trying to do is say oh you want to be big and bad you want to move on you want to be tough I cheated on you now ain't saying it like that but he's gonna come and be like you know I just want to be honest with you you know I just I just want to tell you everything and you know I just want to tell you that you know I actually physically cheated on you too and really it's just the dig deeper it just because that could have been between him and God he could ask all for forgiveness and move on with his life you know what how they say what you don't know won't hurt you and everything meant to be brought up if you know already been forgiven you not ready been given grace because a lot of stuff you gonna do and that you're not gonna go up and tell a man if you dealt with it yourself you handle it it's not the way but man will use that intentionally because is it a man is never gonna tell anything on himself so when a man tells something it's because he absolutely feels all the evidence is out there and you know anyways or just the sting a little bit more and if you go back after him admitting that to you then that's you're saying to him I'm okay with it so you could do it again and he loses respect for you when you do that so you came to that question boyfriend lost his father six months ago and he is struggling we live in different countries but last few weeks he's pulling away and being cold doesn't want to talk on the phone anymore it has nothing to do with his father it has men to do as father has everything to do with the fact that y'all are long distance and long distance just it's not real for a man y'all live in different countries so it has nothing to do with it with his dad because doesn't just not have a man's heart works like a man a man's heart and you've seen this if you ever if you have up close to another man like one of your family members who loses their father or their brother it's just not how me and we're like men heal fast like get over things fast and yes it's gonna hurt but a month two months like it a man is never to hurt to deal with a woman just put it like that like to not deal with a woman you might need a week and you might need a week two weeks and in two weeks is if you're the most sensitive man that God has made on earth but your average man to deal with his woman you're gonna be able to do that the next day like because a woman is consolation a woman is comforting so when a man uses a death in the family as a reason to pull away from you so you that's when you gotta understand that it's not that that's just his scapegoat that's what he is using to get out but you'll see men go to go to their family member funeral and not even cry you know it's not that he don't feel it but it's just how men heart is and and our heart is like that because of everything that God knew we would have to deal with in the world when it comes to you know serving for your country and all of this stuff it's a lot that a man sees and has to go through and that's why God made the man's heart the way it is so yeah that's a long distance and I and long distance is not real on business is never real for a man never really for man and I say no but just because I want to leave any room if you know you exception to the rule okay the ladies ago a cookie but on average long distance with a man is never real bowlegged god bless you we know get on your nerves sometime but count against our heads but count against our heads and not against our hearts okay I got you hey it's saying hey it ain't easy work now I didn't with all these different personalities all these different questions but you know how does it affect a man when his father was intentionally absent from the home lived in the same community but not with the mother and the children and did not provide it affects a man in some serious ways and you typically gonna see one of the one extreme or the other so what you're gonna tip eclis see is you're gonna see a man who if his father was intentionally absent he that man is just kind of void of of real feelings like his he doesn't know how to or he doesn't desire to have a genuine connection with a woman because of his own biological father couldn't have a genuine connection with his biological mother that kind of throws him off and he's just like I don't want that my dad must have ran from it for a reason I'm afraid to fail like my dad felt I don't want to do my children the way he did me so a man will be all the way over there or he'll be on to the other extreme of he's super clingy super loving almost overbearing because his father was not there and you rarely find that in that in between so you just kind of got to see which one he is and then you know it's kind of like picking you know which which one you want to go down with because both could end up being not good situation but you you just got a really take your time and evaluate that man all of God bless you met a nice guy says he's a man of God but lives with his parents am i being shallow because I told him I don't think we're yo what you got evaluated why he lives with his parents so if he lives with his parents and he doesn't have a job then y'all are not equally yo if he lives with his parents because they need him and he's taking care of them in their old age then that's a different situation if he lives with his parents and he has money he has a job and he has the means to afford his own place but his culture says stay with your parents until you absolutely have to move like until you meet your wife and it's time to go on with your life then that's something totally different too but if he living with his parents and their he's riding off for them like living off them and he's not really ambitious or a go-getter and things of that nature then that's when you got a problem you know that's when it makes more sense but what I've come to learn which I didn't really understand or know because from my culture you know where I'm from and the family we be trying to get out of house around 16 we've you were so ready to go but you know 17 18 you definitely gone like I my sister moved on she was 16 soon as I left for college at 18 I never lived with my parents since then so you know but I've learned in other cultures like people from the islands and different you know races sometimes different cultures either stay together and they they all stay together and you would they believe in standing house together and everybody put their money in and all that so you know you got to see okay yeah so if you got a job and he just he probably just acting his money they probably won them families just believe stack your money until you meet your wife so you could actually be passing up on a good man who was being financially responsible and he's like well I live by myself and have random women in and out and you know how to pay all these bills when I don't have a wife so I would kind of rethink that because if he's ambitious enough to have a job then he maybe stand there for other reasons so it would be best Kim you know why do you still live with your parents you know what sure what's your thoughts on that and what's the reasoning behind that and get that answer and then if he give you old lazy sorry answer then you know that's just his makeup you know failure to launch but if he gives you a very you know financially sound reason of why he's doing it then you know you got a man who was fiscally responsible and that could actually be an asset to you in a relationship found out a guy I was talking to was dealing with me found out a guy was talking to was dealing with me while he was on a break with his ex he unblocked me after a month after it didn't work out with his ex why does he still want a friendship oh that just mean you know me and struggle being alone me and struggle being alone and you know you are what he would consider a hold me down to hold me down woman you know just kind of you you just get them to the next situation he doesn't want you doesn't want to be with you has a soul tie with his ex but you you the commercial break you know you the commercial break the way he still could be entertained you'd have time show still could be entertained until the game is back on so with men like that you just got to keep it moving you got to keep it moving hello Tony how and when do you tell a man that you're dating that you have been married before you tell a man that on first date you tell the man that on first they got it they don't that does not matter to a man and the longer you wait the sneakier you look so if you've been married and you way to a month three months six to tell the man you was married now you can't trust you know you're sneaky but it's actually in a woman's favor to have been married men are more concerned with a woman who's never been married over a certain age especially like men get more concerned about that just because it's kind of like um it's kind of like when when a man chooses a woman yeah unless you really young like under 35 then when he chooses a woman for her to have been married that means that another man thought she was a wife and had what it took to be with her so that is like a it's a stamp you know it's like a stamp of approval so marriage is not like the scarlet letter a whatever that used to mean in the book in school what camera what that meant but it's not a bad thing how should I go about explaining to my son when he gets older what happened between me and his dad as far as us not being together when should I explain it as soon as he is at the age of understanding explaining and just keep it real you know but it has to be age of understanding love and relationships so when he starts to get ready to talk to women then you got a 12 13 probably right when he can understand how because he's seen his friends getting relationships and breakup so he has some understanding but six seven eight it really ain't gonna go over not fair for me to judge women who have never been married yeah it's not about on and it's not you know across the board with every man but it's also depending on age so if you hit 40 and you've never been married it is true that men do raised eyebrow and like okay but but that's not the end of the story because now he has to realize is it you that your standards and you loving yourself is the reason why you haven't been married or is it that you crazy and every man you've met you've ran off so he gonna raise an eyebrow but then you're gonna take the time to kind of talk to you get to know you and see what side if it's because you're a good woman and you just not gonna put up with games and grown boys then that's totally different you know you don't hold that against you see Tony I met her I met the guy right guy but he smokes mary-jane what should I do um if you don't smoke then going about your business if you don't smoke going by sub is not you smoke and okay you all just be blazing together but I personally having been around that growing up and having been on the other side in the streets I don't recommend being with a guy who smokes that'd just be who has any form of addiction it's just not it's just not a good thing because if a man is on a substance that he really needs that he can't live without and it's not like health reasons medical reasons then that shows our imbalance you know emotionally and mentally and what that means is he has he's more likely to cheat so when you look at cheating man is typically something underlying so you gotta really pay attention to that her mark the giver from saying name wrong but I appreciate that blessing is it normal to think about your act from time to time wondering how they are broken up no contact for five months I want to get him out of my mind that's very normal that's very much normal that that's just how the mind works though you know it's just some that's biological you know but it but it's also emotional and spiritual because you had a relationship with this person and you have a soul tied with that person you had an emotional bond you know and y'all connected on that level so when you try to move forward your mind is going to replay good times scenarios and people you knew people you met and you'll think about a random schoolteacher sometimes but you may not pay attention to that because that's not your ex but you think about an old friend that you had in first grade you know it's just that's just how the mind works you know just recalling your past and replaying situations so but when you think about your ex what you have to do is when you think about your ex you can't just let your ex take up you know rent-free space in your mind when you think about your ex you then in that next thought you have to be conscious about reminding yourself the lessons your ex taught you and why your ex is your ex so don't just think about you know y'all Little House on the Prairie running through the run through the lilies you know chasing some flowers and and you know letting the Sun beam on you don't just think about that you then consciously after your mind subconsciously took you to the thought of your ex then you have to consciously take your mind to the thought of why that is your ex I love for dangerous souls I listen to you daily move to a new city and change work place God is blessing me major but the devil is coming for my mind advice on not judging myself for my past that's normal that's normal you may have to be very practical in the sense of like writing an affirmation card out like getting a three by five and writing an affirmation what you want to believe about yourself what you want to tell yourself and read that every morning afternoon and night you have you may have to be that you know specific with it because with the mind you have to control your mind or your mind will control you so when you think about self-talk 80% of our self-talk is negative so if you just let your mind run your self-talk is gonna be negative so you have to be very intentional about what you want to say to yourself and you learn to block thoughts and as soon as that Senate start to come you know so for me being in business my relationship is perfect with my wife me being in business I made thought may want to subconsciously come to me and say old man things about to get hard but as soon as I hear old man I block it and I say blessings coming blessings is coming blessings abounding abundantly you know a I'm a money man and um I started to speak life and I don't let that negative thought play all the way out and then repeat itself so you have to remind yourself that you are loved you have self-love you blessed and highly favored you are forgiving you a better person you're growing you learning you're healing Tony my current guy still shares a house with his ex-wife we have been together one-and-a-half years she is giving him a hard time to sell the house he is very seldom there but I am unsure if I should move on or you're in a sticky situation and you kind of you you almost love to creek without a problem so you got to really think about this you're dealing with a man who lived with his ex he's seldomly there she giving you she give him a hard time by selling the house but what you got to realize is you don't really know if that's the truth all you get from him is what he's telling you you don't really know if that's actually his ex and unless he living with you then you don't know if he's seldomly there unless you live in next door and you watching so you kind of it sound like to me you you to hold me down you know it sound like to me you playing yourself because you can't take a man serious who has any close quarters or interaction with his ex unless they have children under age 18 so unless it's about their responsibilities then no you plant yourself tells god bless you forgive me for saying your name wrong my excess he has never been physical with his so-called female best friend but text says otherwise he completely denies physicality with her what do you think Tony um my ex says he has never been physical with his so-called female best friend but text says otherwise if the text say otherwise if the text say otherwise Dingaan they're not gonna be texting about their they're not gonna be texting texting they're a figment of their imagination if the text say they was physical and they talking to each other then they were physical so and then what you also got to realize is let me see what you said okay you say your ex all right so that's a red flag right there you you weren't about your ex and you dealing with your ex see you need to be preparing and getting ready for your next so the first thing is you got to stop worrying about what your ex don't look at share share you took a life coach certification sheriff sheriff share what all the videos her and Carmel kisses in to Bella sheriff they're putting words Sharron knew what I was gonna say for I said it stop worrying about your ex that's the first issue so because X you can't believe nothing he's saying anyways so you got to start preparing to move forward and if your intuition says that him and her was physical then move on with your life and I'm gonna tell you like this right here men in a relationship a committed relationship cannot have female friends can have female colleagues and constituents and associates but what that means is what that means is is that every that he every single text could be read by you that every text could be read by you that every phone call could be heard by you and that he could share every detail of all their interactions with you if she is a colleague constituent or associate that also means that they only talk about things that pertain to business or work or things that are important this is not they're not sharing hopes and fears and dreams with with each other if a man is going to be in relationship he cannot have that type of relationship with another woman that that has to be reserved for his woman can't be no this my female friend she was here before you okay was he friend to be gone after me so point-blank periodic because humans are going to be human and what you got to realize about a female friend is that when you're talking more than you seeing each other and y'all building then in y'all building that you forming real love you falling in love and and that's gonna be you know a issue for you because your man will just be arguing with you but shooting the breeze having a good old time with the female friend and so that will be building he'll be making love emotionally mentally with the female friend and then making war with you so you got to understand that days of God bless you God for this one hour gracefully walked away divorced my husband after learning of his affair three years later he still acts like the victim and hateful more over takes it out on our kids why I keep a healthy distance well for one you got to realize and ask yourself how is he taking it out on them now if it's a physical way verbal way you got a step in between you got to shut that all the way down if it means that he's just getting distance and he's not coming to see them not buying them anything then that's something he got an answer to God for that's something he's gonna have to answer to them for when they are of age and they can phrase that question to him so you just be there everything and don't worry about all of that and the other thing is you got to realize some men just will never grow you know so you got to understand that be glad that you over don't don't wreck your brain trying to understand you cannot understand the wrong boy that's one thing that just will not happen you will never understand the waste and the reasoning behind growing boy behavior it just will not make sense don't make sense to me as a man I used to be one of those grown boys and it won't ever make sense to you to a man let me see somebody ok Sodom and I see god bless you talk about dating no soul mom I'm sorry I thought that said Solomon no soul mom oh three talk about dating younger man that's that's kind of like raising your little brother you know it's kinda like raising your little brother I don't recommend it I don't recommend it especially if he's more than five years younger than you maybe more than five years younger than you then it's a stretch the chances of y'all really succeeding in a happy and healthy way it's gonna be slim to none there there are people who have done it it has worked now there are there's always an exception to the rule but I don't recommend dating younger men you you asking for a lot okay um Jessie J yeah sad something refer somebody taro T she gifted in that area god bless I want no come taro T no kind of nothing got do nut with no strategies like it none of that Oh give me a Holy Bible I've been in your shoe okay y'all talking to each other now see y'all talking to each other Joey listen the word I'm saying you got me I talking to myself my boyfriend leaves me for cheating my boyfriend leaves me for cheating yelling and calling police on him and stealing I'm changing for him do you think there's a chance I could be the one for him he comes back when I say sorry y'all a hot mess you know that's essentially what y'all luring and with what it is you saying sorry and you change about how you change so you got a lot of the issues you gotta address you gonna need you're gonna need some one-on-one with a therapist to address what happened in your past then you're gonna need some coaching with a relationship coach who specializes in relationships and that's how you're gonna heal and that's how you're gonna grow so you're gonna have to put your money where your mouth is and really don't just holla I'm sorry and then show up on on the free life you're gonna have to do the real work with the books the course is a coaching whatever that's out there for you and then showing your actions but the thing about it dis the thing I just finished watching that on that uh CJ madam Walker um little series on Netflix they offended watching that and they show how she she had that man had a husband grabbed him by them now swinging y'all no time I grabbed me twisting and she just twist a mare a day and he just broke him down she just emasculated him every day every day just mask you later and yes she has to her vision her dreams and they show him trying to help her trying to help him trying to help her but after a while he just started to you know just break down get weaker and weaker and then they'll come old devil he'll come old devil over woman and she saw that and she preyed on that and he was too dumb to see it and he fell for that other woman when you emasculated man yelling cursing and cheating you'd be better off moving on with your life choking it up asking for forgiveness moving on with your life so you'll be better off because if you stay and you trying to get that man it's gonna be hard for him to heal in the situation with the woman who did all of that to him and he may actually stick around to get revenge so when you when you dog somebody I don't recommend trying to get them to stay with you let them go on by a business you learn from your mistakes and be better for you for the next person because the person for you that's truly for you you're not gonna treat them like the link between your toes these are alined if a man truly values you a god bless rhodesia god bless you if a man truly values you will he never be your ex in the first place he will never be your ex in the first place most exes are lessons for us to learn from we have to learn and keep it moving oh these are send a blessing into get that word to y'all now take that word and I'll let that word sit on your heart what's he told your nut bo X in the first place if you truly value fitness mom god bless you Lorna in your life I pray the Lord bless you because because you did this last night with that blessing bless you ex-husband divorced me and married his mistress a month later three years three years on he's sorry and regrets everything says she's a mistake and should have worked it out I've worked so hard to forgive and move on that every lame a question no but keep working to forgive and move on and be glad that you see that life has taught you that the grass is not always greener on the other side also be glad that you have gotten to see that life that we reap what we sow and know that to be true for yourself and how you treat people how you move forward in your life so he got exactly what he deserved let him sit in his mess let him feel it and unless y'all had responsibilities together like raising you know sons and daughters who are under the age of 18 that's the only reason y'all should be talking let him apologize let him admit the mistake let him feel all of that and let him talk to her let him talk to the voicemail yet I'm taught let him sit on read on the text message let him sit in his mess to get the lesson cuz because that's what he deserves cuz he signed up for that so let them let them deal with the metria god bless you hi Tony I'm aware some men give women the side-eye past 35 they haven't been married so how do we look at men that aren't married past 35 it's not a red flag or if they've been divorced well haven't been married and divorced two different things as you say and yes but it's it's up to you you know you don't look at a man with a side I just cuz he looked at two with a side I if it's not in your heart to judge him because he's never been man paster age 35 then don't start doing it just because that's what he doing to you so don't try to act like a man because a lot of the things that men do is stupid a lot of the things that we do as men should not be emulated or copied and that's the mistake that a lot of women make is storing trying to act like a man when that man could be a grown boy so what you also have to understand is yes if a man has never been married and he's over the age of 35 I as a man give him up will give him a side I just because it's two men and women so it does not make sense to me how you could be 35 and never been married when it's so men and women so that tells me that either either he like men's but his culture won't let him admit to that or it tells me that he has not worked on himself enough to become husband material to be ready to marry a woman or it tells me that every woman he's dated has not wanted to marry him for that reason I just stated he has not become a man so to me it is a deficiency it is it's not a good thing to me as a man if a man is over the age of 35 he's never been married unless unless he's been doing the work of the Lord unless he's been living like Apostle Paul he's been planting and building churches or he'd been leading the ministry and he's been doing so according to the will and the Word of God meaning abstinent if he's a virgin and never been married by 35 then and he's been doing the work of the Lord he's been touching lives he's been leaving a legacy building a legacy he's been walking in his purpose that's I'm totally different but if he just been on his son spreading his Wild Oats just living reckless he'd been in fornication he'd been sleeping around touching all different kind of women then yes he is a deviant at 35 and never been married now if he's been divorced that is a good sign because that means that he had the courage to take that leap even though it didn't work out that he the courage to sign the dotted line that says I commit to you until death does its part and he may not have had the maturity or she he could have married the wrong woman and the woman could have been a no-good woman so to be married as always to have married and and fail is always a noble thing because especially if the person did it for the right reasons with pure intentions now if he were broke busted and disgusted and married or one man for her money and in her position in life okay that's not totally different but if he did it with her on his heart trying to be a good man then that's a noble thing saying vice-versa your Torah God bless your heart only how should having standards be approached is it okay to allow a man the time and space to reach your standards once expressed or leave him or leave him be once you become aware he does not you first got to express your standards and really you express the standards nothing like a nothing like a bullet point form nothing like you just telling him look this everything I needed a man but you see the way he moves you see what he does and you just checking him you know he coming in late without updating you and letting you know what's going on you check that he yell at you you check that he curse at you you check that you know you see some emotional cheese or Facebook messages Instagram DM you check that so you let him know what you will and won't stand for and you give him an opportunity to show that okay I'm learning this I'm learning you so let me change and you you give him that opportunity now if he does not change and you gotta address the same thing especially if this thing is a deal breaking situation like the small fox sports divine a little bit eleven leaveneth the whole lump if this is a small thing that he keeps doing that can become a big issue now you got to realize okay it's time for me to pull back I may need to move on with my life but a lot of men will go against your standards just because a lack of knowledge just not knowing what it is to be a man c-money god Bless You God bless you how man be cruel to his wife with two K and now X just F oh no that's just female just friends left three months after he had a child one year after he had a child on me at 11 years now has a girlfriend with one kid been in home with our kids after he gave ultimatum to come back one month in how to let go and forgive yeah you're gonna need some coaching use on your knees coconut too deep to di your question too long you can't fit the whole question in there so you gonna need some you gonna need some coaching yeah you're gonna need coaching and that kind of man in there he sound like a mess but he sound like he's such a mess he too made you a mess and so you really gone you're gonna need some coaching everything ain't for this Hill Q&A I hate tell you that but um but I will tell you this something is how the same application you know so the same way you heal from 11-year relationship it's the same way you hear from a one year relationship and that's by getting a new knowledge getting a new knowledge speaking life to yourself right in your affirmations getting coaching reading the books learning what you did not know because when you get new knowledge you replace the old so when you learn what this red flag looks like and when you look back and you look back over their relationship and you talking through it and then you start to see all of the red flags you miss everything you miss everything you did wrong then now you are prepared and now you're able to say you know what that wasn't love that was self hate that wasn't love that was lost that expired that wasn't self-love that was insecurity that was in love that was controlled that wasn't love so now that new knowledge helps you understand what you went through the Andreea god bless you Tony thank you I watch all your videos read and listen to your books had a one-on-one session a student in your Academy god bless you you've shown me how to love me I'm learning my Worth and setting my standards with your teachings men actually want marriage question mark so that's that's why some are a thank-you diandra god bless you thank you for that blessing - yes I'm in that one marriage and I've comes with you to be honest with you I think every man wants marriage but I think most men problem is just not knowing who he is as a man and a lot of times a man only finds out who he is as a man when he sees himself in the reflection of a woman what I mean by that is when he when he's dealing with this woman and she shows him and she and she speaks life into him and she stands her ground and she knows who she is a lot of times men learn like that like what a real woman is learned the value of having a good woman in your life and and once a man experiences a good woman in his life just heard being there being a support system not being a floor mat not allowing herself to be ran over mistreated talked down to but standing her ground and being a support system then what happens is is a man is able to see like wow I can't live without this she is an asset to my life because she makes me better and I make her better and we were strengthened in each other so you know that man won't marriage but a lot of times a man doesn't know it until he sees it question at Jessie J that when find a better job he cheated repeatedly and then put me and my daughter out the house I had to go into shelter I don't know if you told Jessie J or me caramel kids when is a good time to set up a website to your book to be published should it be made before you publish the book oh yeah you set it up right away just because you can start putting it on your Facebook your Instagram your Twitter you can have the little button on there that collects emails the way you got email addresses coming in so you can put the first chapter on there and when they give you that email they get the first chapter delivered but now you got the email so now you got 100 emails when you release the book you're able to send out an email and you may have 10 15 sales on that first day out of them hundred people or more that you email question to a man what makes a strong woman or what is a strong woman to a man and then that's a good question a strong woman and this this is thing that a lot of women confused because it's I remember it's a book out there that's called me and love bees and that's not actually true you know that's that's a lot but a strong woman to a man is a woman who she knows who she is and what she wants and she refuses to accept less than that and what I mean by that is a strong woman isn't a woman who can be cheated on over and over and over and over again and stay a strong woman isn't a woman who can be you know mistreated and all of that yeah that curse that all of that and stay a strong woman is a woman who she can love you and respect you as long as you loving and respecting her and when you stop loving and respecting her she has what it takes to walk away regardless of how much she has put in regardless of how many years how many kids how much money what she can sacrifice how far she to move what a friend saying what a family saying regardless of how much she has sacrificed and invested in their relationship when you are not reciprocating her law she'll walk oh she will walk away on you that's a strong to a man every man knows that every man respects that even know that even though we don't want to deal with the consequences of that the repercussions of that a man gonna know and respect that that when her foot hit the ground the earth shakes and that's what every man truly wants in a woman but see the thing about that's kind of confusing and that selfish about men is that a lot of times a man will want a strong woman but will try to weaken that woman and really what he wants is he wants her to be strong for the world and strong against everybody else but weak for him and it's counterintuitive it's counterproductive it just doesn't make sense but that's the stupid things that men do when we operate in as a grown boy we want her to be strong enough to turn down all other men advances but then be weak enough to let us cheat and then she stays or to let us be toxic and she stays and that's that's ignorant so but a strong woman gonna be a strong woman you know with the without you you know for you or against you she gonna she gonna rise and and that's really what every man wants but a lot of women don't understand that a lot of women think that you know oh I gotta be a ride-or-die so he cheated on me three four times as long as he makeup and he cried and he bought me some gifts and we go on some dates and we talked to the pastor I'm gonna take him back I'm gonna keep taking her back no you're not strong woman at that point you a weak woman and he knows that you never gonna get his best as if you weak on Fitness mom now see you fit mom I'm blessing y'all she is it cuz this sound like it's for somebody else question but the question is I'm missing now and some of y'all miss y'all question cuz you posting while I'm talking so you might want to type it in there but don't hit sin until you see me stop talking pretty black I'm guessing that somebody screen name what to do with my ex slash baby daddy tries to deal with me we both thirty-one tell me he'll always love me but in love with another female she publicly humiliates him on Facebook by after their constant on and off so that's your baby that so the thing about it is when you got a baby dad and he talks like thanking childish like that he's dealing with another woman is the only way you deal with him is when it's dealing with your child and that's only if you need him and that's only if he's gonna be responsible and respectful in the presence of your child like he's going to be an asset to your child like if he's not going to be a healthy responsible and respectful asset to your child's life then don't deal with him at all don't deal with him at all if he want to deal with you let him get the court to tell you that and what's because what you also got to realize is you got the judge a man by his choices you judged him by his choices in his own life but then you also judge him by his choices you know in women so if he choosing this sorrow no good woman and they always and they off and on and they always on Facebook and he and she exposing him and they going back and forth that let you know that if he has a woman like that you can't trust that type of woman around your child so you know if he moving like that you as a mother had to protect yours so you got to keep yours away from him until he learned how to pick better women because them saying women that type of women he dealing with and we're gonna be pumping your child in the head your child come over it child in the head be putting out cigarettes on your child you know be you know tan up the clothes and putting bleach on the clothes and just doing little stuff to yours because she in the wrong place and so that's what you got to realize you know when when a man when you're dealing with a grown boy so true Tony twenty years for kids but had to walk away just know that I sow good seed in the fertile soil you being one of the as well as a few there are so two blessing from my father gotta go y'all have a blessed day bless the king god bless you kid be blessed now can you be blessed y'all saw who was on here last night Keith who was on here showing up at Shauna Lord bless Keith Lord Lord Lord you could hear my prayer let's keep the key to be on here blessing me every opportunity she get I'm 41 no kids never married been single a while due to raising nephew dealing with mom dying and helping grandparents I hear being single this long is a red flag what can I do when dating you don't need to worry about date you know don't worry about dating right now what you doing you know you got a lot on your plate going on and it's a red flag for the wrong man so the man who sees it as a red flag and he doesn't dig deeper to get to know you and and the reasons behind why you single and having been married then that's not the man for you so it's a red flag for the wrong man but you got to realize that for the right man he's gonna get to know your story he's gonna hear this out what's been going on they're gonna see who you are where you are where you come from what you've come through and what you're doing and that man it won't be a red flag he will see it as a blessing from God because he'll say wow you kept her sacred and untouched and undefiled for me like you kept her to where I don't have to worry about changing her last name from another man last name you know she been there for me she's been waiting on on me to show up in her life that's how the man for you will see it being over 40 without children a marriage it's on the red flag for the wrong man okay Jesse was writing what I was saying y'all Jeff you want to type in the chat y'all gotta be oh yeah trying to get some in chat now y'all put that hashtag Q in front of your own questions so I see it because that way I won't be on here reading everybody you know just reading random comments I worked with a guy he likes me and I like him you worked with a guy and you liked him you'll never know if God like you he has never made a move and has a girlfriend to keep from getting caught up I moved my seat he found my new seat what is he thinking and what should I do no way y'all work at y'all playing musical chairs now yeah we all work at night so so that's the thing and that's one thing that I had curriculum you work with a guy and you like him you don't like you so what you have to realize is me and how I work wise and what I was telling y'all you know but man look at you and he'll get them a release and that's to release he need for being at work help him get through his day so in his mind when he look at you when he flirted with you and you give him that look interaction that's just like he didn't lay down with you that's just like he he didn't had you on your bike okay because it's just a release from the brain that's that little bit of serotonin or dopamine that he feel in his bloodstream from interacting with you that just invigorate him give him what what he needs to get through his boring day you and that's and that's how he sees his job so you like him he don't like you in fact that that you have a girlfriend I mean the fact that he has a girlfriend and you know about it that's another sign he really don't care about what you know and what you think so you got to put all that in there together and just got to realize you falling in love with the idea of having you a work crush a work husband instead of actually you know reciprocating or falling for a man who actually is available and giving you the type of interaction you need it's the ideal light T's so sultry Latisse forgiving from saying your name wrong letís so so god bless you you ask a question maybe I hope you I hope you hit sin or you got to put your question in that now hold on I saw some questions coming in pretty big last time he left he started hanging with another girl and told me he was picking between his options so I ran the girl laughing he came back to me am I wrong I just asked about me cheating okay you wanna ask about you cheating and you yelling and all of that and you ran a girl long you wrong you're gonna need some coaching and if it's not affordable I'm hoping maybe you could you know try to add some friends and family you know try to add some friends and family to help you raise some money for coaching you're gonna need some coaching you're gonna need scold you're gonna need therapy you're gonna need therapy you know cuz you ran a girl low and you you cheated on him that means you don't want him you yelling at him cussing him I mean you don't want him you know what he is to you he is your human teddy bear and what do we have teddy bears for we have teddy bears for pain we have teddy bears for comfort we have teddy bears to self-soothe to ease us he is your human teddy bear because you don't want him if you cheat on somebody in that moment you don't wanna now you probably could want him later but in that moment especially as a woman because a woman's he different than a man you know it's a whole different situation and so he gets a placeholder for you and you need to let him free because eventually what's gonna happen is you're gonna be then try to run the wrong woman off and she's gonna be just as unstable as you and somebody gonna end up with some serious consequences so I wouldn't be dealing with a situation like that pinaka god bless you for she didn't put my cash up on now and some of y'all be sending me that dollar and one of those on when y'all sent me five dollars last night god bless I think it was on young lady Mary otter who came til myself love retreat in California last year same files god bless you let me look for a question now no only guy for a couple known the guy for a couple years I'm 42 he's in his 50s one date he's consistent he says things I don't like I stopped talking to him how do I get past that and give him a chance where depend on what he's saying that you don't like so if he's saying stuff that's deal-breakers he saying stuff that's showing his mindset that can show that could lead to some control some infidelity stuff like that then listen to your intuition and keep it moving and when a man getting is 50 is he's gonna be a little bit more real he's gonna be a little bit more blunt so you just got to make sure you're not just being overly sensitive and you might need to sit down and kind of bounce that off of a wise friend or a coach Chris King what do you think about me and who sin what do you think about me and who sins you screenshots between him and ex with kids under 18 to show you what he says is what it is as far as moving on from their relationship you kind of got to take it with a grain of salt because the man only gonna show you what he wants you to see so with him and his ex you know how ex situations is you could be arguing day and tomorrow you talk about you miss Eden a peach cobbler she missed sang on that microphone so you get the screenshot or when they were cussing each other out and say I'm done with you I'm moving on but then you don't get the screenshot I'm gonna say hey I missed that peach cobbler and she said yeah hey I miss singing on that microphone and so you don't get to see that so you just got to decide to trust them and you could just tell him like listen you know you got between y'all you know you I really don't care to see that like I trust that you doing what you say you doing and you know don't don't feel the need to show me and then you just gotta watch the rest of that and and at the same time you also gotta ask yourself does he do I have what it takes do I have what it takes to be with a man who has a soul tie with a woman and they have together you know children together because it's a lot that comes with that so you got to ask yourself do you want all that come with that Sabrina god bless you I am studious so no relationship experience I enjoy singleness and have accomplished much at 25 I have suitors I should go for but never intrigue I seem to fail for rebels / bad types thoughts you're in a real you're in a real tough place you're in real a tough place because if you have no dating relation you have no dating experience no real dating experience and you falling for rebels and bad guys you got to ask yourself why you falling for rebels and bad guys it's probably because they are your alter ego because you kind of resent being so studious and being a bookworm and not having live life so when you meet a rebel and you meet a bad boy now that's the fun side of life for you and what you coming in there like a deer in the headlights of f-150 remember and you waiting to get at f1 fit the hook and it's gonna let you down so what you need to do it's putting books down before you start going to date you need to be then got through the book work got to your studious got to get your degrees and before you start dating you need to come over here to this school okay you need to go to Tony Gaskins academy.com which is in the in the description and you need to take the real love University that's a real course you need to take how to dating 101 understanding man that's a real course you need to go to this school over here before you start dating and what you're gonna learn is that when you're looking for a bad boy he's also looking for himself so that is the blind leading the blind and y'all both gonna end up in a ditch so you got to understand that that you can't be falling for for rebels and and the bad boys Oh got old live testimonial india say dating 101 changed my life i mean that was a real course not a date 101 i went in on that one night and y'all could use the coupon code healthy write down the word healthy so before you click buy now you will see a little link that says have a coupon hit that type healthy and then hit apply now all Tony guys on academy.com on queen bee god bless you question I caught my ex cheating on me he kicked me out why is he mad at me when he cheated now he's sorry and told me all there's hope should I wait now god bless you God bless you God bless you God sometimes y'all you know god bless okay never read this again okay oh you're the one I've been read again disappeared okay okay you call him cheating he kicked you out and then not he saying it's gonna get a workout and you saying should you wait okay you caught him cheating he kicked you out for catching him cheating then he telling you it can work and you wondering should you wait should you give it another chance mm-hmm now I just want you to hear that back to yourself okay and you got to get on out of there you got to be gone gone gone gone gone and the reason why the reason why man will get mad with you for catching him it's just embarrassment it's no different than when you see when you see a little boy get caught in his room doing something you shouldn't do and he have a temper tantrum and he mad and he you know what he upset that's the same way men are so what you gonna have to do you get you some baby powder and ya keep slapping yourself till you wake up you got to get you a can of Folgers and just smell all the folders in the morning you're gonna have to read you a book you have to have your affirmation car you're gonna have to really really be able to get to the place to where you can get through to yourself to help yourself understand that you playing the fool that you playing the fool right now if you even considering going back with him that you sitting there looking like who shot John forgot to kill him so you got to realize that and you got to go about your business with the man like that you got to run so fast you got to run so fast for a man like that explain why my ex-husband blames me for leaving him when he basically forced me to now he only shows hatred towards me that's just a sign of a grown boy that won't that won't change and he is in the mindset of blaming everybody else for his issues instead of working on himself so you got to understand that he probably blame if he blame the government the white man the black man the Hispanic man he blame women he blame the school system he blame his mommy and daddy he just in the habit of blaming everybody else for his issues it's being too busy a turn-on for a man um no it's not it's actually the opposite as long as this legitimate you know like if you got an old Livia Pope scheduled and it's it's real like that's really what you do that's really what it is then no that's not a turn-off but if you get in his text and you give his phone calls and he know you work 9:00 to 5:00 and you don't have any kids and you just sitting there looking at his text message for three hours before you respond that's gonna upset him that's gonna turn into an issue for you but if you truly just that busy and he got to get in where he fits in that's a good thing because a man likes an ambitious woman broke up with a guy I was dating one year because he wouldn't commit and doesn't like titles divorced three years now have a three-year-old read and watch everything you have but having issues finding a good man okay so you've been to war three years and then you met a guy and broke up with him after year cuz he you did the right thing but having issues finding a good man that's you and as you and every other woman case I here to be honest with you cuz and I'm gonna tell you all the reason why it's just a lack of good men right now the reason why it's a lack of good man right now honestly I be on switch it's just the world that we living in and with all of this social media with all of this access and what's happening is the men who have a voice so back in the day a man was more likely to just operate from his heart because the television and social media in there you know it wasn't the way it is today but today men get on Instagram and they see this millionaire who has three four women they see this other million they see all these millionaires who've never been married they see all these men are who juggling all these women they see all of this they see regular guys who juggling three fold women they see all of this and they like why should I settle for one woman then they see so many women selling themselves for a bag for a nice purse for a nice dinner you know adjust doing whatever for for look guilt so they and make see soul men and women who might try to carry themselves sort of kind of classy but I do anything for a cash I will do anything you know they seeing all of this and all of this access is right on the phone and so men is just so spoiled today just because of that access to loose booty women and so the good women walking around and the good men are being turned into Batman just because of the world we live in it's like the bad is becoming the norm and it's almost like if you lived in Sodom and Gomorrah it's like if you live before long you gonna end up just being like everything else around you because it seemed like it's the norm and the people who try and hold on to morals and values the more and more you hold on the morals the values the more and more you get drowned out and people start to call you old school and all of this and people would be asking me here's 2020 is 2020 you still believe like that and I'm like yeah because principles don't change angela god bless you're turning 55 in May single I want to be married to a quality man is it too late advice you know I just saw a picture of lady 85 getting married as long as you got breath in your body I mean long as God on the throne it is never too late it is never too late because it's men as 55 that went to a divorce five years ago and it's ready to get married do what you have to do in that situation is you got to increase your rate of interaction you got to get out of the house more and when you out more you're gonna meet more men now for some of y'all who catch all these qaid you're gonna get tired of hearing me say the same thing but y'all got to realize you know everybody needs something I tried contacting my ex this period but he didn't respond I was the one who left the relationship because a lot was going on and I had to question if he truly loved me dated for 10 months keep moving keep moving if you always go for 10 months and you broke up see typically the only time I really condone getting back with an ex is if y'all were together for 12 months or less and a lot of people say oh that won't sound right because you seem like you want to give an extra chance after 5 years or 10 years because of the history y'all got but no the longer a person has got to get to know you the longer time a person had the chance to get to know you if they still can't get it right y'all aren't meant to be but when it just was 12 months or less y'all still get to know each other it still was fresh it still was new so if you break up within 12 months that's understandable because you didn't know each other this was a stranger if you break up after three years five years it's no excuse for that because y'all had enough time to learn how to respect me how to love one another so that's why I only recommend getting back with her ex is if y'all had to take a break or part ways under 12 months now you left out the ten months because you was questioning if he loved you if you got the question if a man love you out the 10 months then he does not love you does not care for you and he realized he chose the wrong woman or he's not the right man for you and so he wants the relationship to end so he creates distance and he sabotages the relationship so that you will leave now when you leave you got to stay gone because when you left you try to the boss up you know pull old car you try to like a Power Move and then now you come back crawling hitting him up so not he laughing at you haha yeah thought you were big and bad huh thought you was grown oh yeah I see you missed call alright keep calling me honey gonna sit there and so that's what he doing to you now because he didn't like you in the 10 months that you left so understand that and keep it moving and understanding this a woman should never go back to a man a woman should never go back to a manually if I want to leave a man you got to stay gone because if you leave a man trying to send a message he got to come back to you if you go back to him you up end everything you're trying to do Angela Martin how do we join the blessed tribe it should be a little button up on the video like on the on the right hand side I find it I said join if not if you look in the description under the video under where my face is there's a description box it may have an arrow that you gotta hit to make it drop down but in there it'll say join the blessed tribe and you click that but it's only to my knowledge right now it's only four people in the US only four people in the same country that I'm in because I know it's people outside of the US that said they've been trying to join and they came but you know only why YouTube has it that way can a man have some growing boy ways because he's scared so foolish or one in love oh yeah but it's really not it really has less to do with being afraid to show up one me love and more to do with just being afraid to sacrifice and be a whole man is a man will want to show love but he just may not be a man yet know how to how does a man come back to you how does a man come back to you know maybe you kind of mean how should he come back to you cuz he come back to you just by texting you seen you calling your phone you know that's how he come back now how should he come back is he should come back and he should be asking for forgiveness he should be telling you that he saw her he should admit his fault if it was his fault he should ask for forgiveness he should tell he loves you tell you he wants to be with you and if he needed to change if it was on him and he needed to change he should be telling you how he changed and he should be able to show you how he changed so it shouldn't just be like a I said and I thought about it and I was wrong and I want to be back with you you know will you take me back no he should be like look I went and got coaching you know I went and got coaching I went in you know work with this coach over here that coach over there I read this book I read that book I think you'll enjoy this book this book really helped me this is how it helped me so he'll be showing you exactly what he's done to get better and most men typically try to you know typically try to you know come back I supported my child's father for three years he quit his job when our child was six months old and asked me to go back to work so I did when he found a better job he got us he left us I had to go in put us out had to go in the shelter supported my child father for three years and he quit his job when I child six months old okay yeah you can't do number learn from that and hopefully everybody that just seen that question can learn from it too you know that's that's just the definition oh sorry man and it's just a man who doesn't love you you know and never loved you and so all you can do is learn from that and that really comes from a lack of preparation that just comes from a lack of knowledge of you not knowing what a real man is a real man I never I never quit his job and asked his woman to go work when he able by me you know he's able-bodied and he is you know now who was on the hill talking about the dirt thing we didn't just saying a doctor chat we don't know what that is nah no no somebody paid nine asking crazy questions all what the simply say I'm not a doctor how to cope with X manipulating parental alienation very poorly handled in court but strange my time with a child oh go on my mentor that life go to my mentor that life click higher coach and in the filters select the subject co-parenting and see if you can find a co-parenting coach on there that has been through that and can you know work with you on that that's that's real deep that's a little too deep for here I'm about touching your faith in the I ain't goin out nowhere ain't been even touching nobody I'm in house why do men demote women after we mess up oh I'm falling on low battery now I told y'all gonna go to this - the phone died so ain't got too much longer why do men demote women after we've messed up and put us back in competition with other women pretty baby needed coaching session that's a third question you need to coach says I'm turning 40 next week and started dating is successful 39 year old man for three weeks now he meets majority of my standards but a few of my preferences should I continue getting to know him um he meets majority of your standards you got to ask yourself what are your standards are they real standards make sure you're none of your standards are actually a preference and then you gotta ask yourself the standards that he doesn't meet are they deal-breakers so example if a standard is you want a man that does not smoke but he smokes that's a deal breaking standard okay so you got to understand that now no man will meet all of your preferences and if a man meets all of your preferences he probably most likely will not meet all of your standards so you gotta weigh the good versus bad which the standards are the good and some of the preferences could be the bad because sometimes we want what we can't have you know I might want me some Popeye fried chicken cuz it look good gold and crispy flaky and brown but that ain't the best thing for me so I prefer Popeye chicken but my standard I probably need some grilled chicken you see what I mean so you got to understand when you weighing these out which one weighs the most standards or preferences it's always standards and no no human would be perfect and what you also got to realize if he likes you and he has most of your standards and a lot of your preferences and he likes you too then you got to understand because he also taken a chance on you because you probably don't meet all his preferences or all his standards either but we got to understand that Delana god bless you kids father has three kids the same age wants to fix kids father have three kids the same age do y'all have triplets or twins and then one other woman or is it three different women all had one round the same time that's the question now that's the question no I fit if it's the latter and you got to go on about your business Eenie phelps god bless you the Canadian I think that was Canadian hi Tony I'm a team that has been watching your videos for almost a year now okay you bless the yeah you got your debit card up in Canada thanks for all you do I am in need of coaching with you and want to know how I can get started but I'm not working well you got to wait until you working it first and foremost on the way to tell you working to get coaching okay and then - when you say team hopefully you mean 18 or 19 because if you run 18 and that means you got to have a parent that come sign you up and so that's one way to get started with coaching is a parent now if you 18 or 19 then you have to wait until you either get to some old savings so more than $13.99 or you could go to my mentor dot life and do coaching with another coach that's $25 an hour because this coaches that you know start out at $25 an hour and to be honest with you it's only gonna be a little difference you know it's gonna be a look difference and you still probably could get the result that you need what are some things men can read by looking at a woman or being around her Chiquito a man can read everything it ain't nothing that he cannot read so everything about you he can read if you have been hurt in the past and you have not healed he can read it if you lose Buddha and you trying to pretend that you not he can read it if you are not lose body you very strict and conservative and trying to act like you lose food he can read it if you strict and conservative he could read it a man could read if you were insecure a man could read if you're confident a man can read if you taking and you own a break a man can read if you Merritt but separated a man could read everything he can read everything about a woman and the reason being is just because it's a gift that was given to man because of the work the other work outside of women that men will have to do like hunting and going to work for the country to go against other countries those things are worth necessary skill so you've got to be able to read and read and react very quickly so a man literally can read everything about you and that's why a lot of women don't understand that and that's why I tell every woman you have to learn perception you got to get either with your father your uncle your brother if they're articulate and they're honest and they understand themselves if you don't have that then going book a session on my mentor taught life with me and I'm gonna get you to run down you got to understand perception because the reason being is a woman could be insecure and see things that her insecure czar hidden but if you don't realize that your insecurities are not hidden a man will approach you knowing where you're gonna give up knowing where you're gonna be weak at and that's how men end up living off of women getting money for women getting women on a bike quick and easy because he read your unhealed unaddressed insecurities in your clothing your dress your the colors you wear the way you walk the way you do your hair the way you smile the way you talk the rhythm and cadence and your voice all you we all are glass windows that's why I know if anybody we read each other you know but men have an exceptional gift with reading others just because of what a man is built for in life overall how can I discern Acacia god bless you forgive from saying your name wrong how can I discern the differences between a man's ego and his sincerity so really where that applies is when a man comes back to you when a man comes back to you you have to discern is this his ego is he coming back out of ego or is he coming back out of heart that's what that really applies and so what that means is if it's ego when you put some stipulations in place and say listen if you want to be back together then we need to do this we need to do four sessions of counseling or therapy or coaching I also want us to read this book you know I also want us to go to church also when you put these stipulations in place if it's ego he's I'm like you know we don't need anybody else in our life we don't need we don't need a man offer you two telling us what to do you don't even know what you're talking about he private cheating on his wife I'm not doing all that I'm not talking to anybody else if I can't talk to you and me you just can't talk one-on-one then I don't even tell anybody else what am i doing why did I even come back that's ego when he's coming back out of heart he's gonna be like hey you know what you know okay cool that sounds good you know let's read that book I really want to do that and yes okay I'll do coaching I'm gonna pay for it it costs a lot it's more than what I can afford but I'm gonna do that you know and so it he'll be willing to jump through the hoops to do what he has to do to grow and get better any bounce god bless you I had a dream in the summer with an ex and thought it was a dream from God and now think it's the soul time in the advice goddang Aggie but God not gonna be your dream by the ex because when God in the mix it wouldn't be your ex y always stayed together so God is gonna have you dreaming about an ex but that's what a soul tire the soul tie that emote is an emotional connection it's an emotional you know bond so when you try to move on your mind is still missing the chemical releases it used to get from being with that person spending time with that person shaquita Herot god bless you god bless you um sano-sama usually puts a question right yeah you say please read my question you should have put it right down because I seen please read my question but I don't see your question so you know you learn from like pretty bait you know keep putting that question that's how you got to do for if you want me to see it because you post it once and you see all the comments I can't I can't see your question because as I'm trying to scroll I'm touching the screen I'm about to cut the whole live off keep touching the wrong what's Carlo but why do women brag on cheating me in pretty black right on cheating me doesn't understand what you mean maybe you mean women tell my ol he cheated and we worked out and we got back together I don't know what you mean though yeah I'm about to be off this hill live now Hillsong phone going did someone say plug your phone in but I can't because I could blow up my phone in but life is like a computer system running you know so like if I unplug a microphone it get real loud sound like a fan sound like a fan is on it's running and you really can't hear me cuz it the just a machine running so loud breathing it make too much noise Keter harris got to your question ask god bless you pretty black you'll have to give me an example about what you mean by women bragging on answer whoo janeshia what janeshia janeshia um janeshia got to do a coaching session janeshia she she post a million questions I asked a meeting of janeshia questions then why you see janeshia it go janeshia question right here is it funny to men to see women hurting like I'm starting to feel men don't have hearts a lot of men don't a lot of men don't and what I mean by that is anybody just purchase your soul top courses always tell you a lot of men was raised so cold we don't know how to be warm like you got to realize like a lot of men it was out there you know that when they're going through a lot dealing with racism discrimination you know dealing with all this different stuff that it just kind of made him put up a wall and it made him cold instead of being warm so a lot of men don't you know care a lot of men don't have a heart but you also got to realize what men do that's why try to remind y'all as far as think about everything a man does you can't say all the words on here but think about what a man has to do when he signs up to work for his country and they got to go to another country what he is doing so a man heart is built different think of what a man got to do when he had to go out in the woods and hunt for food think about what he's actually doing like it takes a certain type of heart to be able to look through this here scope and hit that deer and then go get it all of that right now take a certain kind of heart the pop that chicken you know Nick like men are wired to do certain things that they take that same energy into relationships and so that's that's what you have to realize you dealing with a different type of human when you're dealing with a man and a man has to learn how to turn that side of him off you know that savagery and just that coldness he got to learn how to turn that off and a man has to learn and mature to the point to learn that his gentleness is in his strength his strength is in his gentleness in a relationship two years but now he says he would have been proposed but he says he's not ready for he's not ready for my ready-made family how should I proceed I got 10% level how should I proceed he should have been known this before now he didn't he knew it he was trying to convince himself otherwise but he knew it and he was trying to convince himself otherwise but now it's getting real nice getting real and he just told you how he feels not a question now he told you how you feel he already knew but he just got the courage to tell you why he hasn't proposed to you also to tell you how he feels nice on you now you gonna sit there and play the fool after he done told you he don't want you he don't want to be with you cuz you're ready-made family are you gonna listen to him and you gonna break up and going on about your business be with a real man now it's on you because he just told you and be thankful that he told you before three years or five years be thankful that he told you before it's too late so understand that too now so think about that hey I'm gonna go ahead and get going on because if I let the phone die than gonna process and upload on the on the computer so hey god bless y'all thank y'all for showing up on here I put me what I put in the day I win forty god bless you I'm poppin here as often as you know me and Wyatt get us a little break so I see working I come in here and do some Q&A being that we own this his situation thank you for everybody that bless me with the donation thank you for my moderators share and caramel kisses on North - Bella made this one thank y'all for moderating and I make out them a phone charger might get to do something later the day round seven or eight - I know I miss a lot of questions some of y'all y'all need a coaching session okay I'm on my mentor got life but I don't know how far my schedule is booked out but thank you god bless you we'll talk soon

Channel: Tony Gaskins

Views: 113,406

Rating: 4.9001169 out of 5

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Id: qfpItMI0YGw

Length: 106min 55sec (6415 seconds)

Published: Sun Mar 22 2020