hey Tony Gaskins here wanted to pop in a been a long day for me being coaching thank you to all of you who have visited my mentor dot life remember that's my mentor dot life not calm wanted to do a video on this how to date now I talked to you about being abstinent meaning abstaining from intercourse saving yourself now not everybody will be able to make it all the way to marriage I understand that to be honest with you in this day and age with men if a woman makes a man wait longer than he has ever waited that in itself earned so much respect in his eyes that he's like wow she is totally different so set your goal to make it until marriage because don't say well I want to make it one month I want to make it three months I want to make it six months say no I want to make it until marriage I want to save my body if you're if you in the v-club version then you already own that if you are born-again virgin you newly abstinent some of y'all calling it celibate and some of y'all calling a celibate celibate I'm celibate I'm like no you ain't cuz you know how to spell the word so whatever you calling it save yourself until marriage but see this is what it should look like okay when you dating number one is the man should approach the woman the reason why is because the man is the one who has to get on one knee and say will you marry me so he needs to lead by first approaching the woman to say hey like you or I'm interested in you or hi ma'am what is your name would love to ask if you're single however he does it he needs to approach when a woman approaches a man whether you send him a DM trying to flirt or whether you walk up to him that is like a gazelle approaching a lion when a man approaches a woman that is like a lion approaching a lioness so you either want to be his lifetime partner a lioness or you want to be his lunch a gazelle so understand it is of the importance that a man approaches you another reason why the man needs to approach you is because it takes confidence it takes confidence and if a man does not have the confidence and the strength to approach a woman to walk up to a woman and say hey I see you I'm interested in you I would like to get to know you if a man cannot do that I'm here to tell you and guarantee you he does not have what it takes to lead a household because leading a household is way harder is way harder than approaching a woman when you got to be making the decisions getting up off your butt going and do your work as a man and that is that takes responsibility being 100% faithful loving your wife loving your children that is not easy so if he can't even approach you and a lot of women they they go and they make them excuses and they say oh well you know well what if he's shy you know what if he's shy shy men are introverts 70% of in terms of men are in Traverse might be 80% but that does not the one area a man has confidence in is when it comes to a woman so if he does not muster the courage to come and talk to you I don't care how many times you've seen him at church and work or whatever if he cannot muster the courage to come and talk to you you are not the one you are not the one and he is not ready point blank period do not try to argue with me on that so save it the next thing is when a man approaches you and he shoots his shot and you like what you see you like his energy you like his approach and you say okay cool we can talk you know here's my number you need to give the man your number but I've been hearing women say oh well he gave me his number because I wouldn't give him mine that doesn't make any sense because if you want to be courted then you need to give him your number so he can show you how serious he is about you if you give him your number and he doesn't call you within 24 hours when he does call you lose his number or when he does call you don't answer it you shouldn't be actually phoned anyways if it's not in your in your address book and if he shoots you a text then that even that text should be within 24 hours here's the thing in the beginning of dating this is another thing when he reaches out it needs to be if he texts you to say hey how are you this is such-and-such you your response should be a I'm doing great how are you then his response it needs to be timely not an hour later because he just texts you now if you took an hour or tool to text him back then it's different he could be busy when you text him back what if he texts you and you text him right which is what you should do if you're there and you're available don't get into the mind games don't be playing mind games oh he texts me I'm gonna make him wait an hour when we play mind games everybody loses so if he texts you and you're available text him back but don't text them if you drive and don't text them if you work and don't text them if you spend in time with your little ones or your family do not neglect what you're doing to respond but if you are available then respond and then when you respond now if it's right when he wrote you he should be writing you back if he writes you you write him right back and then you don't hear from him for an hour or something when he writes you back it should be with an apology so sorry I got a phone call so sorry got into a wreck so sorry this right here if he just come right back just picking up on the conversation and you just met him losing number loses number so in the beginning ain't no playing round ain't no playing around you know with a man and I'm speaking on this side cuz it's the man who should be doing the pursuing now when the man if the man takes you first and you text him back instead of having a text conversation your next message needs to be hey give me a call when you're able I don't really do texts like that give me a call so now he needs to be okay when are you free when can I call you said I'm I'm free now so I'm tired of right now I call you such-and-such time he needs to be calling you within 24 hours so if this is this is a red flag if you meet a man and in the beginning you all he's doing is texting you you wasting your time that means he is in a relationship it means he's in a relationship or it means he's juggling too many women and he doesn't have fun time for you you can't play those games so if you get them on the phone and you're talking to them now we got some here now we're going somewhere okay so now when you own the phone this is what you have to realize in dating you need to have in our conversation if time permits if this is someone that you are interested in and he is interested in you every single day y'all need to talk one hour a day if it's broken up in 15-minute increments okay cool if it's broken up in half-hour increments or 20 minute increments okay cool if you talk a whole hour okay cool the only time you should talk more than an hour in dating is if you don't have anything else to do this is what I mean do not neglect your homework your children your sleep your work or anything of that nature to be on the phone with somebody because some people will take your time and they know that you are neglecting things and what you're showing them by neglecting these things you are showing them that you don't love and respect yourself and that you are semi desperate so that lets a man who may be a grown boy that lets him know he can get over on you he can get more from you than he deserves so you talk an hour a day okay now listen you need to have ten hours of talk time meaning you talking if you talk seven days or if you talk five days and then the weekend let's say he's with his family meaning if he has you know one two three I don't know how many he didn't brought into the world but if he's with them okay cool let him give them their time if you have your own you give yours your time on the weekend and so you can make an exception to the rule there but Monday through Friday then that's your time you're talking an hour a day if you have the time after you then put yours to bed and it's 9:00 p.m. to 10:00 p.m. or 10 p.m. to 11:00 p.m. on Saturday then you can have that conversation Sunday you need to be in the bed getting ready for work Monday so you'll need to be on the phone 10:00 to 11:00 or 11:00 to midnight okay listen to what I'm telling you so now you're not neglecting your responsibilities and then here's what's gonna happen y'all talking you need to talk about 10 hours and when I say 10 hours this could be give or take now but what I'm saying is you'll need to talk to somebody within 24 hours of meeting have an hour conversation and then the next day y'all meeting up on a date see what this ten hours does it give you some time to see if this person is crazy you get to hear some things you get to hear and if this person trying you if this person disrespecting you when I say trying you I mean talking nasty when I say talking nasty I that could be being me or it could be being being nasty what what he wants to do to you or do you do this do you do that send me a pic picture of it show it to me if he's going right there now you know you got a grown boy he's just looking for a way I don't think man loses number but if he talking about life love business dreams hopes goals and that's what he's talking about and he's not talking about anything sexual now you want to something that on me you roll out the red carpet they don't mean you so turned on you ready to be spread eagle it just means that now you got a little some and you got to pay attention and keep watching so down here's what's gonna happen after you feel comfortable depending on who you are how old you are and where you find somebody you fast somebody fast or like fast FAS T Manish hot fresh whatever term y'all use someone you fast so two three hours five hours worth of talking you ready to go on your date now somebody was raised by a worrywart what I mean by that you raised by a worrywart you raised by the person who tell you to go check the mailbox when you walk out the door they lock the door on you you got to stand and knock on the door to get back into the house and they just sent you five feet to the mailbox you've raised by somebody like that so you so scary that now you need to have twenty conversations you want you twenty hours of talk time before you ready to go on a date because you think everybody you meet want to chop you up and put you in their freezer so okay cool better to be safe than sorry so when you ready the average number should be brown ten hours of talk time the man needs to ask you on a date he needs to ask you on a date if you talk to a man for 30 days 30 hours and he has not asked you on a date and y'all live in proximity of each other to where you can get together and go on a date lose his phone number lose this number he either in a relationship or he broke busted and disgusted and he is not creative he is not ambitious because even if he's broke pocketed he could walked you around the lake y'all could go walking around the lake y'all could go walk around downtown he could least afford one of them slices a piece of out the window downtown if he can't do that going about your business because he needs some more time to get himself together and don't y'all confuse this and be all in the company well tell me what you see you dead tell us the data broke man you just said it's about his character understand this if a man got character he gonna be able to afford a date because character gonna have him working double time working overtime he gonna be able to forward a date now he might not be rolling in the dough but he can afford to walk around downtown get one who slices a piece out that window I understand what I'm telling you listen said so by average of 10 hours a talk time now you could go on a date when you go on the date listen to me when you go on the date you need to get yourself to the date if y'all live in New York then y'all on the people train we don't move like that in Florida okay if you got to do uber lift bicycle tricycle car rent a car borrow a car friend got to drop you off if your friend want to go on a date a camo friend come absolutely whatever make you feel comfortable but get yourself to the date when you get yourself to the date he'd get himself to the day so don't let him pick you up because after this date you might need to cut him off so you're trying to be cute you want to be Miss Priss you trying to act like a queen from Queens you let him come pick you up now he'd know where you live you find out on the date he slapped crazy so now you tell him lose your number guess what he could lose your number he got your address so get to the date yourself okay when you get to this date you need to keep this date between two and four hours because if you go longer than four hours he's gonna start to fill itself he's gonna start to realize you giving him a whole lot of time you weaken in your position and he gonna realize that he really really working on you he getting you hot and ready like Little Caesars and if he spent that much time with you he might be trying to go back to your place or ask you to go back to his place and you might actually be hot and ready because all that good conversation and quality time because you still got a you still struggling with you loose booty ways so understand that and know your boundaries now if you've no years struggling with loose booty ways okay that they could go for hours but what you gotta realize is you got to have a life so you got somewhere to go oh I gotta keep going cuz I need to get home and get ready for tomorrow I don't care tomorrow Saturday you got something to do you your dream work is on Saturday you're working on building your dream on Saturday I don't care tomorrow sign that you getting ready for church you got to beat Church you own the earth some uh Cherbourg so you got to go about four hours you need to go and so at this date this is a public place where you can talk so just go out to eat go out to eat or go somewhere where are you walking okay bowling is not a good first date because you're throwing your arm up and you tiger so your aren't hurting your back hurting you breathing hard skating is not a good first date you're tired you falling or if you could skate you still breathing hard it's not a good day you need to go out to eat go out to eat but not a jazz lounge you need to go out to eat somewhere that got like an outside patio you could get your food and y'all could sit out then y'all could talk about two hours get your appetizer you know three courses if he can't afford that then he's not going to suggest that he gonna suggest y'all go walk downtown or y'all go walk around the lake and so y'all might not live somewhere with a lake but he gonna send you to a cheaper option you need about two hours on this date you need minimum or two hours of talk time when it's time to go home you want me to take you on Oh No thank you Oh No thank you I got it I got it the bus stop right there if you up there somewhere where you take the light New York oh no a train station right there uber I got it over no no don't do that you can't do over you cannot do it over oh yes absolutely I can yes I can and don't be afraid to tell a man you know honestly we just met so I rather do this uber because we just met I'm still getting to know you it's okay for a man to know that you have some precautions that you that you take your life series is okay he respects you for that so don't worry about looking crazy now you got to make a whole big deal about it and hopefully he won't make you make a big deal about it when you say oh no I got it because a man loved to see that you got your own not on the first date on the first date when you go on the first date as a woman offer to pay your half now all y'all against this but the reason why I say this is when you do this you let a man know that I got me you let a man know that I'm not looking for a handout you let a man know that this is the first date you are a complete stranger I don't know you I don't need nothing from you I'm not like the rest of these here women I can afford to pay for me you offer to pay your half okay he's gonna appreciate that if his money is where it needs to be and if he's a good dude he's going to say no thank you I got it when he says that you let him pay your half don't argue him down don't fuss and fight about it let him pay your half he's showing you his chivalrous by you offering to pay your half you got to see if he's actually chivalrous if he doesn't offer to pay your half if he if he says okay cool all right you got it it is not an immediate red flag what that means is is that he just was not raised to court a woman he was not taught about courting a woman one number two he could think that this is a part of the me to movement the feminist movement and he could feel like you doing this for women's empowerment and if he says no I got it that you could take it as he's stripping you of your independence and your right to have yourself and honestly men walking on ears like that today with this help me too and it's a feminist it's good men who are scared to death they only want to speak speak to you because you know they just afraid that something gonna get taken the wrong way so don't get too caught up on if you are and not if you don't offer to pay you have and you don't want to do that it's not the end of the world because nine out of ten times a man is expecting to pay and he's not expecting you to offer to pay your house so don't worry about it me personally I would tell my daughter when she's going on a date a you take care yours cuz I only want buddy thinking you owe him nothing I don't want him getting no kind of feeling I want him to know that he is not needed and to know his place that's what i'ma tell my daughter that what I tell my sister y'all do what you want to do because y'all know best I refused to pay for a first date oh my goodness oh my god what do we come to hopeful so first we got to be dating the broke man then we got to be paying our own way oh my goodness is it always the women got to make all the concessions you mean to tell you know what oh uh sir I'm unsubscribing you know oh my god and then it got to be and then that's what women say that don't make no sense at all on the first date he Pam not once we get to know each other and once we become an item I make offer to pay that don't make no sense because when you hear when you hear that's when he gonna be paying for you when you hear when you not heels that's even more of a reason for you to offer to pay your half because this a stranger you hear me what do what you want to do on that night after y'all date is over you get yourself home if he called you to check make sure you got there okay cool he should call you or text you we live in a tech society don't get too offended if it's a text then after that if y'all get on the phone after the date you need to be getting ready for bed so don't get on the phone and then be on the phone 3-4 hours because you're given too much time you're weakened in your position you showing him you ain't got no life you showing him that you're desperate so you need to have something that you need to be getting ready to do why hey thank you so much for calling and checking on me I had amazing time tonight I'm gonna go ahead and get in the shower and get ready for bed I look forward to hearing from you tomorrow okay all right and he might be oh you got to go you got to go what you yeah unfortunately I got to go you know cuz talking on his phone and gonna pay these bills over here and and this light bill is sitting on this desk looking at me sitting on this countertop looking at me so I need to go get to sleep so I can get up tomorrow and be productive at work all right all right i'ma let you go it he make you hang up on hang up on it but is what it is but he'll let you go after that he need to be calling you every day listen listen to me listen to me y'all get hung up on wrong things when you own that date don't get hung up on if he opened your door if he pull out your chair don't get hung up on all that don't get hung up on if he paid for the whole date don't get hung up on if he let you pay you half don't get hung up on all that now the one thing up to you ought to get hung up on if he asked you if you got it you got it tonight and he's serious not if he's joking not but if he Sears or if he asks you so they're going half you're gonna put your half in that's totally different so nine nine you all in the comments Eunice sprained your thumbs telling me how sorry I am and you two missed this part of it that's totally different if he asked you do you got your half or is this on you put your track shoes on and run a date over with or just get through the day actually don't even argue with them don't even don't even go back and forth with them pay pay for it pay for it just just just counted us you you just paid for a course on dating just pay for it so okay yeah I got it and then he think he got him one he think he got him a meal ticket he think he got him a do girl didn't it tomorrow when he called do do the number you have reached is no longer in service whatever he got to here you put him on a block list don't never talk to him again cuz he a grown boy okay now after the date you know got home he didn't checked on you if you don't check on you don't get hung up on it we get too hung up on this little stuff people not everybody is raised to court people people tell me all the time hey let me know you got home safe man I go home and go to sleep god no I'm home safe ain't got to tell you I'm home say what you gonna do if I'm ain't safe nothing so don't get hung up on the look petty stuff okay the next day y'all talking another hour now y'all need to be talking every day for an hour okay and y'all need to go on a date once a week once a week and talking every day unless it's extenuating circumstances that prevents you from being able to talk now if a man calls you every other day let him go if he called you every 3-4 days let him go a man who was serious about you and truly interested in you he liked the way you look he liked the way you walked he liked the way you talk that man gonna call you every day you hear me if he in the Navy on a submarine he didn't own a little text phone trying to get that message to that ocean to you if he is into you he could be in in a part of the world he getting a message to you give me if he's into you if he's not reaching out to you keep it moving go ahead bout your business listen to what I'm telling you now now thirty days if you have taught every single day limber up on this video I got to go and get home y'all see it getting dark outside on me I mean hell everything reflect them yeah I'm in a my mentor that life corporate headquarters so that's why this glass behind me now list him after 30 days if you are the one if you are the one he's going to say to you hey you know you really and this might happen faster it might happen in a week it might happen in two weeks and I said some caveats and some nuances to this now y'all hidden vocabulary words so now listen to me in 30 days he gonna ask you if you are the one a I want you to be my girlfriend would you be my girlfriend can we be exclusive you cut off all the tools I'm cutting off all the ladies just me and you within 30 days he popping that question if you are the one if it comes sooner than that one week two weeks that need to be no intercourse involved it need to be no nasty pictures it need to be no no kind of sexual favors involved and he need to be gainfully employed meaning he need to have a job he need to have him a place to stay and he need to have him a car and he need to have citizenship in the country that y'all reside in if he does not have transportation if y'all don't drive with when you live he need to have money for the bus in the train or whatever y'all ride if he does not have transportation a place to stay a jaha and citizenship and he asked you to be his woman inside a thirty-day it's a red flag but you put your shoes on and take off but he's not looking for law he's looking for help okay all right thirty-day he asking you to be his girlfriend the absolute longest is 90 days about a 90 day mark of dating if he has not asked you to be his girlfriend you need to cut them off lose his number and keep going this way y'all make no mistake at this way y'all and he's dead beat relationship this way y'all are career daters this is why because you go past that three-month mark still not having a real commitment okay not understand me listen to me here now when y'all become exclusive everything needs to stay the same do not open your legs do not move in together and do not be doing anything nasty you hit me sang it on the microphone him gonna start asking can he eat some peach cobbler nothing nasty okay nothing none of the look stuff that y'all get into trying to beat around the bush oh well we just do this oh well we just hot dog oh we just doing this no nothing just what they need to look like phone calls and dates now when y'all exclusive 30 days in I mean 90 days in now he can pick you up drop you off but still at this point inside of six months you need to have no in-home day --tz-- that go past eight o'clock and he need to know this listen I don't have anybody in my house past eight o'clock so I want you to understand you want to come over and you want to cook or we take turns cooking or we get in there we cook together we need to be doing that dental seven we start at 6:00 dinner at seven eight o'clock I need you to go because I just don't do that I don't do that with the life I live it's just the boundary that I have guess what he's gonna give you all the problems in the world or he gonna be questioning you instigating grilling you begging your coercing you he's gonna be doing all of that but all that but he gonna respect you he is going to respect you okay keep your boundaries so inside of six months nothing past eight o'clock now if you saving yourself until marriage then after six months you could stretch it to ten o'clock but still he need to be going to his place you need to be going to your place if y'all go somewhere y'all do something you know y'all going out of town y'all going somewhere didn't guess what he need to have his room you need to have your room okay and he none it is here we sharing beds if you saving yourself don't tell yourself you falling in love you're making love to the mind eventually now this was happening when you keep these boundaries and you keep a man on the phone and you keep him out and about dating now after y'all two had several dates and y'all know each other bowling skating skydiving movies air flying all this stuff is okay but golfing all this is okay after y'all exclusive and you know each other before then you need to be where you just can talk okay now here's what's going to happen when you keep your knee boundaries and your legs are closed and you're with the one you're doing nothing sexual the only thing that's what you don't it around look back on the level no that's alright now just look just look peck on the lips you hit me and cheek forehead lips and with the peck on the lips you ain't even getting all into the time and if you get a little time it just look ya'll talk but it ain't tongue wrestling all this right here because when you're going to do all this right here the next thing you know be doing all this right here you got all this right here going and that thing you know clothes coming off you mean so you've got to have boundaries okay there's the perfect dating scenario 80 90 % of people ain't gonna be able to do this not listen to me 9 this time I forgot one of the caveats and it's not yeah I told y'all know it Cabot somebody put definition cabbie I don't think you fit but I'll still use I did like where sound listen to this head caveat okay you cannot have these kind of boundaries if you ain't got your life together okay the three B's brain brand body you can't come in here with these kind of stipulations and these standards and you're looking like who shot John and forgot to kill him okay you looking broke busted and disgusted and you want to have these these ten is what I'm giving you this quality one and standards this one on her game this one within three bees in order if they not ordered in order you'll need to be dating because you can't come in there broke busted and disgusted looking like the back of a 67 Chevy and then want to have all these strict rules and regulations cuz he can be like this and you ask me too much to be looking like that you asking too much to be looking a hot mess you hear me who you think you will so he gonna be confused and you'll be confused too if he had all these stipulations and he look a mess you mean so take care you first now listen with these boundaries name hurry up with these boundaries just what's going to happen at month twelve between twelve and thirteen months if you are the one he's going to propose okay cuz his third member the third leg hit meat leg it's dry is dry as the Sahara Desert yummy and he ready to dump that stick in some Aquafina so guess what because you made him wait 12 months he knows you now he knows your heart your mind your spirit your soul your energy your your hopes your goals your dreams your fears he knows you because you're all been making love to one another's mind not body but mind so now he knows that you are his wife it don't take longer than twelve months when you doing things the right way it does not take longer than twelve months but at twelve thirteen month mark he getting on one knee okay when he get on one knee you do not move in together you don't start singing on the microphone if somebody don't know what singing on the microphone is please understand you don't start singing on the microphone he don't start Ino peach cobbler you don't get no more benefits you'll get no more benefits now I forgot another thing here tonight I forgot something you know this here process y'all independent you're not doing his laundry and you're not cooking his food everyday you're not you're not doing all that okay he's doing his own laundry he cooking his own food when y'all when you cook for him that's a date and y'all taking turns you cook he cook or are you teaching him how to cook he learned how to cook and he actively helping he not on the couch at your place flipping through ESPN why are you and the kitchen slave and if that's the case then you do that the next time is his time even if all he could do if he don't know how to boil water then then put some hot dogs in the microwave but he need the cater to you to y'all independent and you don't everything everything else beyond going on dates and talking on that phone for an hour and pecks on the lips pecks on the lips ain't no Robin not in a Robin in body parts you ain't stroking he ain't stroking and poking none of that y'all doing this thing the right way now y'all gonna fall deep deep deep deep crazy in love you me but that's the point that's the point of dating and so listen no husband benefits when he asked you to marry him listen to me the size of the ring does not matter it does not matter it only matters if you know he really really got it now if he really got it and he gets you a look diamond you got to get a magnifying glass to see okay he trained you okay he but and that's a red flag because you need to see if he too frugal for your liking for your lifestyle but you would know that way before this the size of the rain the type of the rain don't matter if you got real lucky could put a rubber band on your finger okay do not trip on that and I know it's easier for a man to say it but I'm telling y'all y'all in the missing I don't good man cuz you weren't about the size of a diamond one thing I know about a relationship coach and a former matchmaker now 19 times the bigger the diamond the smaller the love this one I'm telling you now that's what I'm telling you the bigger the diamond the smaller the love you hit me because me and bite at the compensate when a man come in genuine he gonna do a ring that makes sense he's not going broke and got a file bankruptcy and got the raw Peter to pay Paul just to get you a ring that you're gonna be knocking and banging up against the wall and a cop dough chipping up the diamond diamond I felt like you didn't lost the $50,000 diamond and now you're looking crazy and they're trying to file an insurance claim insurance claim so you were closed well you ain't getting nothing back and a sensible man he's not doing that he's not focused on the rain okay when y'all get engaged don't get so caught up on the proposal and how he does it okay he need to get on a knee or even if he's not on a knee if he say will you marry me and y'all sitting down don't get caught up on all that stuff focus on the law see women focus on wrong stuff because you've been reading these books and in fairy tales well I want a man that's gonna be he need to put one of them signs on the helicopter in fly through the sky say will you marry me and it needs to drop roses down you know cuz I wanted you to this I dreamed about this all my life and I want this to go viral and so you weren't about the wrong thing if he said will you marry me if y'all got a different type of relationship and he said hey so what'd you think about marriage you read it cuz I'm ready if that's how y'all talk then okay cool don't don't don't because I've seen you people go all out and go viral online for the proposal and be divorced within five years I didn't seen it time and time again don't get caught up on all that let me let me give you example my wife ring that I proposed to her I got on one knee get probably the wrong knee cuz I ain't know what need to get on it was on Christmas Day and that ring was all for QVC or HSN for $69 it was a rose gold it was a fake rose gold faith three carat cubic zirconia for $69 that's all my money could afford I went from that to a $2,500 reign from caves and I went from that to about a 3,500 to a $5,000 ran from Kay's jewelers okay and you know checks for Sandy Nate I ain't saying go down I'm just don't even like case art but the raggedy juror they got but that's why I went and still to this day she she got eternity bands and she got some cartier love rings that cost $1,000 and she wear a little set now I'm working on some crazy but you know we 13 years into marriage we getting ready to March will be 13 years and my wife's ring and she went on her ring on her finger probably $5,000 you said I'm saying it's not about that y'all focus on the wrong thing limit her up and so when he proposed to you the wedding needs to be within 12 months meaning by month 24 y'all need to be married you know you slip off after the engagement and you get on your bike y'all move in together you start cooking cleaning doing laundry trying to prove that your wife which that has nothing to do with being a wife because that ain't a wife role in a healthy marriage there are no gender roles so don't feel like you got to be cooking and cleaning and swinging from chandeliers just prove to him that your wife you already wife if you're a woman your wife because our wife is a woman okay that's all he need to know you know everything else about you so understand what I'm coming from with this here okay now when you take and you get engaged everything stay the same he got his place you got your place he got his transportation you got Joe transportation he got his job you got your job ain't falling off he ain't quit his job on the couch borrowing money from you no no did that happened it had that happened and he ain't ambitious to go do whatever he got to do flip burgers get on the back of that truck that's going to mow lawns whatever he got to do if he doing all that and guess what going about your business cuz he's an played you for the okey-doke and then when y'all get married they need to be within 12 months and then when y'all get married now this when the new cherry is getting popped on the honeymoon this one y'all moving in and so that's how this thing goes you keep this thing legs closed eyes open you two independent people who are courting get to know each other through this period of 12 to 24 months leading up to marriage if by 24 months y'all not married going about your business going back to business the absolute longest is 36 months and that is special circumstances I said extenuating circumstances earlier but I don't know it's then you're waiting me look it up you got to put it in a comment I like the way it sound okay extenuating circumstances is the only reason y'all go 36 months if if you got a doctor's order and when I'm talking about like a law of doctors you did a session with me and I say okay that qualifies under the extenuating circumstances you good to go 36 because he deployed or you know he identity stolen and he getting his life back together flipped upside down mother father brother sister went through with tragic losses back to back to back to back okay you good 36 months 36 months and one day yeah Mary got to go got to go y'all got a giving a cleaning man in here going around cleaning you got to go okay at that point it's time so understand this go back through this list to this three four times you need to this is the perfect dating scenario shoot for this you may fall short but shoot for this because like the saying says it's not that we aim high and miss is that we aim low and hit so understand that it is Tony Gaskins I hope this bless you god bless you we'll talk soon make sure you click the links in the bio I got the courses and the upcoming events and continue some of y'all been going to my mentor that life some of y'all have bought the session with me thank you I'm not the only coach on there so look around and it might be another coach that suits you better as my mentor that life god bless you we'll talk soon
