Close Yo Legs! (Tony Gaskins IG Live)

I'm gonna do an hour she feels like I need to give more of me some time so sometimes you make me do an hour but I try to at least do 15 and 30 minutes but it's one common theme and this is not common today in our society it's not really popular and that is to the ladies which I'm going to talk to you really and when women always say well Tony you know why don't y'all talk to the men a lot well for me personally over eighty percent of my supporters online on women so I talked to who listening I just don't believe in doing a bunch of talking to a brick wall so if whoever here that's who God called me to talk to and so somebody else is talking to the man because for me over 80% of my following there's women so maybe TD jakes or some of the other speakers who got more men following them or at least 50/50 could send a message to the man but to the lady is the one key thing that I won't try to understand and this is gonna be hard for you to understand but if you are not married if you are not married and you want to be married close your legs and close your wallet that's the two things that you gotta do for the rest of 2019 and going into 2020 it's close your legs and close your wallet and now a lot of people do not want to hear that because a lot of women want to talk about oh I'm grown and I need it too and I need this and that and so I want to do it and I need to test it out got all the excuses in the world but like like the folks used to say the older folks used to saying you mannish are you fresh are you fast you need to stop being fast and close your legs and the reason why you gotta close your legs is because for a man that is the finish line for your average everyday man now you're gonna have some exceptions to the rule but for your average everyday man for the man that y'all are mostly meeting the finish line is in the bedroom is in between your legs when you give a man that the race is over and so you have to ask yourself has this man ran a sprint or has he ran a marathon when you when a man runs a marathon for you and then he gets the prize that's when he truly is conditioned to go the distance that's when he is his mind is conditioned his heart is conditioned and that is when he falls in love with you what you have to realize is that for men the goal is to lie down with you it is not to make love to your mind is to make love to your body the goal is and people say oh no that's a--that's a grown boy you're talking about Tony Dane a grown man no that's a grown man too that's a grown man too just because a man is a good man or a mature man does not mean that he's a perfect man that's what y'all need to understand a good man it functions has the same desires as a grown boy and what he wants to do unless you meet a man who has who says that he is abstinent until marriage or he is a virgin now I know virgin men in their late 20s and I know abstinent men in their late 20s but other than that I have not met any others I could think of to I could remember meeting and coaching two young men who were in the NFL and we're virgins until marriage they are married now and so I have met me who are waiting until marriage they do exist men don't broadcast it as much as women but most men don't try to turn it into a book deal or a business like some women who are abstaining and you know but there are men who are abstaining now what you have to understand is that every man who has lied down with a woman and even a virgin man I talked to said that he is considering having sex before marriage just to see what it's like now every man that you meet who has already had sex will desire to do that unless he's made a commitment in his life but what you have to understand is that just because he desires it does not mean that he will not wait the other thing that you have to understand is that just because he puts up a fit and he gets upset and he may not talk to you for a day or two does not mean that he won't wait see what a man who is sexually active will do when he meets a woman who keeps telling him no every time he tries to sleep with her what that man may do is try to put you on ice try the first 48 to you know try to smoke you out meaning call your bluff he'll try everything so he may not call you for a day or two he may ghost you for a week what he's trying to do is see if you will get desperate and call him and say hey what's going on I miss you I really like you I've been thinking about it and you know I've made my abstinence and Idol and you know I realize after talking to my girlfriend that maybe I need to be intimate before marriage because what happens if you wait until May jen is bad and so he wants to see if you're gonna start questioning yourself and backtracking on your stance and the thing about it is is what you have to realize is just because a man asked for it does not mean he wants it what what what a lot of men are trying to do and this is not necessary this is not right but this is what's happening what a lot of men are trying to do is they're trying to see what woman is different from every other woman so if every woman is getting on her back then he doesn't know who to choose because everybody's in the same boat but when a woman says I'm not gonna lie down with you until I'm ready and you as a woman only you know you're not gonna be ready until marriage you don't have to tell him you're not gonna be ready until marriage because that would be making a promise and the Good Book says don't make a promise let your yea be yea and your nay be nay cuz you don't have the power to change not one hair on your head to black oh great and so you don't want to make a promise to that man you just you live a day by day and you're praying for the strength and you're praying for the grace because if you make a promise and you tell him you are understanding until marriage and he puts that full-court press on you and in a few weeks you fall into the bed now you've lost all credibility with that man because now he will say oh you know what this one the mo one the most see Harvard 90-day rule women she or she or he'll you know San Shi accident for clout she want some clout she thought she was gonna play me she thought I was a sucker she thought that because she say she waiting I'm gonna put her on a pedestal and treat her like a queen and then I hey so what I did is my mom okay this dad in the earth okay mom hit him with this healer with that that's they I know she in the bed that's what are you gonna say when you're talking to his boys and they gonna be like hey I told you I told you brother I told you they'd be failure I told you that's all count they just saying that now because all these relationship coaches online you don't talk to my team in like Tony Gaskins and no I hear just trying to get money so they hearing them so they coming at you and telling you all I'm asking it I'm Houston it and this way they're gonna tell you bro they gonna say this oh I'm celibate that's how you know she needs celibate because she can't even spell word she can't even say the word right oh I'm celibate the word is celibate and look at the definition that leave me what she think it mean what she is is abstinent what she said she's celibate they got a whole nother meaning that's what a priest is celibate she actin it bro listen these women only know what they're talking about these women ain't they planned these game listen to me and then you put that bangle and she fallen into the trap leave cuz now you know you can't trust her now you know she a liar a man I'd rather have a woman who really is gonna make me wait until marriage if I gotta wait three years till I'm ready to marry her I remember that woman didn't wonder who tell me she's waiting until marriage and then I got into bed a month later and so that's what's happening with a lot of women today y'all are saying that you're gonna not sleep with a man but you have not truly made a decision and then you go out and you tell the man that that's what you're doing and you telling him for cloud you're telling him for the wrong reasons you telling him cuz you're trying to look special it's no different than saying you vegan people saying a vegan for clout and how it all kind of bacon people saying they vegetarian for clout people saying they own the keto diet for cloud people do any people say they get up at 5:00 a.m. every morning for cloud for thirty three thirty you know people say all this kind of stuff they work out six days a week for clout everybody trying to look special but who really living it behind closed doors who really really living it and consistent with and so that's the thing that's happening is y'all going out here and you trying to tell the man you not ready but and that you waiting and then he flipping and tossing you a couple weeks later and then you're looking crazy when he flipped the switch on you and he goes you or he's changed that's because you gave him the prize before he even ran the race you gave him the prize too early and so what you have to realize and it's just a sad truth it's not right but it's what it is you think your prize is your mind you think your prize is your ambition you think your prize is your conversation skills your intellect that's that may be true for you but for a man the first prize is what's between your eyes and after he gets beyond that after he gets past that when he realizes that that's not way that you're not giving that to him that's when he starts to see what's in your mind what's in your heart cuz he a man asleep with anything he'll sleep with any woman you could have you could be our brain and he'll sleep with you you could be any color height shape size voice could sound any kind of way in education level any financial level and he will lay you down because that is the first prize in a man's mind because he is wired to be fruitful and replenish the earth once he gets beyond that and he realizes that that is not all to you because you didn't put that on the platter and you didn't that the first thing on the menu once he realizes that you're not with that and that you're not this everyday woman that he's used to dealing with that's gonna allow him to kick a little game and then be on your back once he realizes that then he steps it up and he starts to make love to your mind and when he starts to make love to your mind what happens is at that point that's when he falls in love because he love making is not intercourse lovemaking is conversation and quality time so making love has nothing to do with lying down together and once you realize that that's when you tap into something special and so what happens is if you can really make a decision that you are going to be obedient to your belief system to what God has called you to in this season of your life and you are unwilling to compromise your morals and your values and your standards the man will see you in a different light than he sees majority of other women and then when he looks beyond the physical when he looks beyond that intercourse that level of intimacy and then he understands what real intimacy is which is conversation and healthy effective communication now he falls in love and when he falls in love with who you are and you fall in love with who he is now you have something real because it's bigger than intercourse it is bigger than that and so that is why when people say well I need to try it because what if we don't and then we get married and it's terrible to be honest with you there's no such thing as terrible when you're in love the reason why that action is is not good is when you're doing it with someone that you are not in love with and that is typically out when you're outside of marriage when you are out of wedlock and you are having intercourse that's when it's bad but if you don't if you reserved intercourse for marriage and you build love through conversation communication quality time when you get married that act will be the cherry on top it's not the cake and that's what a lot of people who don't understand real love who have never had real love anytime I hear a person put a lot of emphasis on sleeping together that is a clear indication to me that they've never experienced real love because when you have real love that's lovemaking like me being married going on 13 years of marriage at the age of 35 going on 13 years of marriage at 35 years old I have no real love now and knowing real love I can go months if I had to I can go months without physical intercourse and still be in love yeah I may feel a little frustrated but I can literally go months if I had to and because things happen in life may have a surgery may have a back surgery can't can't do nothing me may have a baby it's both wait six weeks so it's times in life where you may have to wait six eight weeks or more due to sickness and that's the problem with putting so much emphasis on intercourse because I see couples where one of their partners have has had a stroke at a young age in in their 30s 40s and now cannot perform intercourse so if all you had was that then what do you have I've dealt with couples who cannot communicate and they said well oh well we get along through intercourse you don't have anything then because it's gonna come a day that that's off the table anyways when when the male's body doesn't perform the same and maybe a woman gets to a point to where she really is not crazy about it so what do you have if you cannot make love without intercourse meaning come with conversation communication and quality time then you don't have a relationship so the goal and the focus should be is let me make love to my partner's mind not my partner's body first let me make love to her mind and get to know who she is here in her mind not between her eyes get to know who she is fall in love with her then know her know her when I say know her on me intercourse then know her but see that make too much sense for this society it takes too much time because we're in a microwave society where we want instant gratification if you're not married but you got a partner and y'all are sexually active try being abstinent try abstaining from that act of intercourse and try seven days then go 14 days then go 21 then go 31 and see what y'all have see what you have see if you can make love to one another's mind see if your quality time and your conversation is good enough and if that's not good enough if you remove the physical intercourse and all sexual acts you remove all of that and you go to quality time and conversation if if your relationship falls apart and it goes to just arguing that's when you know that you have nothing that you have nothing because that act should be a plus not a priority because life may not always allow for it to be a priority because schedules body changes ailments sicknesses surgeries being able to come together physically intimately may not always be on the table so if you don't have mental stimulation and real love you have nothing so understand that is why it's important to stick to the blueprint of the creator that says keep it off the table until marriage because you need to know who you are with that's the reason that's the benefit of knowing who you are with versus what type of lustful chemistry do you have and I have to be in a real seminar to go a little deeper on that help y'all understand the other side of it when you build real love and the benefits of the intimacy when you have real love and and how much synergy there is even for people don't have a lot of experience with intimacy physical intimacy when you have real love the experience is on a whole nother level then somebody who could have a hundred bodies to their name and have a whole lot of experience or one body or five bodies but just was so active with that person that they got a whole lot of experience the experience when you have real love is totally different now on the other part of other side of closing your legs it's closing your wallet and if this man is you zip your pants up and I encourage the man even though talking to a brick wall I encourage the men to zip your pants up and see if you can make love to this woman's mind see if you enjoy her conversation and who she is as a woman and remove that off the table remove the physical intimacy off the table and see if you can fall in love with her with her intellect with her heart with her spirit with her belief system with her morals and values and fall in love in love not some love a little bit of love love feelings but fall in love with her then when you know you are in love and you know she is the one then marry her and make a lifetime commitment to her see all that right now that's you don't want them y'all wanna y'all man wanna lick on necks y'all wanna lick on necks y'all wanna suck on ears y'all wanna suck on toes you want to do all this other stuff for a turn-on for the woman I'm gonna tell you what's gonna turn on what's gonna turn on make love to her mind with your conversation then let her see your grind which our ambition then give her a ring put a ring on it then marry her and make a lifetime commitment that's eternal that's what's gonna turn on own then when she's your wife for life that's when you could worry about making love physically and see men getting it backwards and so you're trying to go break backs and you're trying to do all this extra and it's still wack because the mind is the largest sexual organ so if you don't make love to the mind then what you're doing with the wit y'all bodies is just that's what it is so understand that and not ladies on the other side of this and this for the women specifically it's close your wallet your wallet should only be open to your husband and that's when the two become one if it's not your husband then you shouldn't be splurging on him you shouldn't be I saw the video with a girl who looked like a boyfriend look like a boyfriend forgive me if it's a husband if it's your husband okay cool he's not too guilty to me he walked in the room and she had all of the rose petals eyes and she had all the the Gucci shoes and Gucci belt his bow for water ran he don't even take no baths he don't even take baths he takes showers he don't even take vows she got the bath water brand she got money and she you see the money play your business you see the money play your business he only know how to do business you see that need to be for business consultant he only know what he doing he looked at one looked at 21 years old and see this is what I mean by women giving a boyfriend and then if it's a husband then that's different but he he had boyfriend spirit to me and she had girlfriend thirsty desperate girlfriend spirit to me and husbands and wives can do that but she could have said that you know and what my point is a lot of women doing that for a boyfriend even if that was her husband a lot of women doing it for a boyfriend and you splurging for your boyfriend for the ground so when you go and you spending your hard-earned money on a man that is not your husband and that could be gone any day and twice on Sunday that could leave you any day and twice on Sunday when you splurge it on a man like that that is not your husband for the ground trying to get cool points you're not getting cool points you getting full points could have the same man or take the money you gave him to invest in his business and go spending on another one that same man will put them shoes on you bought him and walk out your life and be wearing the Gucci belt you gave them and smelling good with the bathwater that you ran for a man and this what I need you to understand I can say to come already married a man has done nothing for a woman until he walks you down the aisle and when I say down the aisle I don't mean just a wedding I mean until he marries you a man has done nothing for you until he marries you and when he marries you that is not the end that's not the finish line that's the beginning line but he's done nothing to deserve praise until he marries you when he marries you now the fun begins and now he has to be conditioned to run the marathon now he has to be conditioned for a lifetime love but see what's happening is women are getting desperate and lonely and rushing into a situation with the wrong man and trying to buy a man by getting on Louie and Gucci trying to buy the man's love paying for expensive dinners at best at best what you need to be doing before marriage is going have at best or y'all taking Turner's so if y'all go to Red Lobster this thing don't let him take you to Red Lobster and you pay for Red Lobster and then I mean he pay for Red Lobster and then you take him to crustaceans and you paying for crustaceans damn they don't count Lee y'all take and turn a pan but you paying $50 he paying $50 and you paying two hundred and fifty dollars that don't count so what you have to understand about a relationship and look I got doing some seminars there 30 minutes gone Phil I've been talking five minutes what you got to understand about a relationship before marriage is that y'all are two independent people so women stopped expecting a boyfriend to pay your bills stop expecting a boyfriend if he want to offer to pay your bills then that's a man now a man is supposed to be the one if anybody paying it should be the man it shouldn't be you paying his bills and you launder him money cuz the man has to ask for your hand in marriage the man got to pay his dowry the man is supposed to be showing that he is ready and willing to protect and provide and so what you gotta understand is that y'all are two independent individuals when you so this means both of y'all need to be able to pay for your own transportation both you need to be able to pay for your own living space and take care of all your bills by yourself because that is independent if one of y'all can pay all your bills and the other one cannot pay all their bills the person who cannot pay all their bills is a dependent so in the maturity continuum you go from deep tended to independent two interdependent and some of y'all get stuck in between independent and and interdependent y'all deviate and become codependent which is unhealthy look up the definitions at google codependent after this write it down right now but google it later and so the goal in marriage is to be interdependent this means that both of you can stand on your own two feet if you have to but you join forces it's like merging companies it mean like both of y'all doing good you're profitable in your business and you say you know what we better together then competing against one another so you bring both of you together and you come into one account in marriage and you have one account but then both of you have your individual accounts where the money goes into one pot the joint account when you're married and then both of you get an allowance so you got such clothes and shoes and stuff you need to buy and stuff you want to do and gifts you want to buy for friends and family for birthdays and holidays so you put money into your in your independent your individual account and and both of you do that so that if you want to go surprise your partner your husband your spouse anytime my boyfriend girlfriends if you want to surprise your spouse with a gift they can't log in and see that children swipe that Neiman Marcus and know you bringing them a gift before you bring the gift because you didn't transfer from the joint account to your individual account but see what's happening is in the day in space y'all you know women by trying to buy a man trying to show that you don't need a man and that does not flatter a man bye-bye you splurging on him and spending all this money on him and paying for the dates and paying for the vacation that does not what that what that does not make a man respect you what that does is it sends a message to a man that this woman is desperate for love and she trying to buy me so instead of him so that switches his mindset from protector and provider to perpetrator and leach so now he said okay oh you a fool so if you were fool I'm gonna let you play the fool yeah give me a new Yeezys yeah give me the new motorcycle yeah investing his business in my lawn care business you know yeah do this yeah let me move in with you yeah let me save my money to go to school you know he shifts his mindset when you come in and you become the provider and you show him to provide him okay I'm gonna be a stay-at-home dad okay ooh who me and so he ships his old man said because you're trying to prove a point cuz you're trying to prove I don't need no man I take care of myself okay take care of yourself pay your bills take it your kids if you got kids take care of take care of your tuition take care of your credit take care of you and let him take care and then y'all won't come together in marriage and you interdependent so and at that point you don't matter who made the most money because the two become one so I made I'll earn my wife but my money is her money anything that I earned that is paid to Tony Gaston it belongs to sharee Gaskins too and she could spend whatever she won't love it and vice versa because we want and in marriage that may fluctuate you know right now Steph Curry earns more than I used to curry but when he retires Ayesha curry may be earning more than Steph Curry so it matters the two become one and no matter who made the most because you want and as long as there's no taken advantage of and you are not sleeping with the enemy and you with real love but see the only way you don't have that real love is if you built real love and dating but if y'all will flipping and Thompson in the bedroom why y'all before marriage now when you get married you don't know if you really married if you were the sole man but you will sell me you don't really know if you were in prison or if you will prospects of prosperity if you were slipping in Tulsa before marriage because y'all didn't build on real love you didn't build on a firm foundation you built on lust and you built on deception and manipulation and gain and lies and so when you get in marriage yeah you could get taken advantage of and see that's what happened to today when you look on the celebrity round you see a lot of women who about their bad day about their bad but they come in trying to prove a point so the man say okay okay you wanna find a Lambo okay you wanna you want a spurt splurge you want to get me to get me that you want to pay to go to Turks and Caicos you want to do all this and that take care of me okay um let's take care of you and didn't get married didn't realize they sleeping with the enemy and then got to be filing divorced five eight ten years later and then the man asked him to keep the house or to get spousal support and that's because before marriage instead of having your eyes open and your legs closed you spread-eagle with your eyes closed hey too much truth I got to go hey god bless y'all I'm gonna put this up on you to the replay so if you missed any of it you know I'm uploading YouTube it'll be there I'll go to me YouTube youtube.com forward slash Tony Gaskins god bless you good and you to where you're gonna be able to see it so don't write don't write anybody could type in YouTube so don't write me in the deal and it went a lot of it you need to put it up put it on a GTV no I'll put it on YouTube because what YouTube got going on over there I like what you two got going on our GTV don't have that

Channel: Tony Gaskins

Views: 117,700

Rating: 4.9338346 out of 5

Keywords: should I wait until marriage, tony gaskins, relationship coaching, life coach, relationship advice, how to wait until marriage, reasons to wait until marriage

Id: hOywBHQxaPI

Length: 37min 12sec (2232 seconds)

Published: Wed Oct 30 2019