Be happy single!!

hey Tony guys is here you know I really all over the place today didn't really know which angle to take on today's video but kind of talking about the state of relationships today to women dealing with men who want to come back and I'll be honest with you if he wants to come back or if you're single and you don't have a man that's coming back let me help you understand this right here is be okay being single be okay being single we live in a new day all right and I'm seeing I'm meeting a lot of quote-unquote good women a lot of women who have things going for themselves got the head on right and of course there's a lot of women who aren't that now when it comes to meeting good men who are single that's not happening as much now they are out there but it's not as many as it is single women so guess what a few things go into play and I want you to think about this it's kind of like if you're talking to somebody and about anything business and let's say like you need something done to your car if a person is a high-pressure sales tactic person and they're just like going going going like you know yes I could do it for $100 you know and you want to sign up today if you sign up today hey I'll sign get right and I can do it for $95 you sign it right now all right and matter of fact you know we'll just go ahead and do $90 you go ahead and sign up right now yeah I can't let you get off the phone if you want to take this deal just go ahead if somebody shows desperation then you less likely to want to deal with that person now if somebody is cool calm and collected and say okay for that right there it'll be $100 on would you like to bring it on in or or do you need to wait some time in like oh well I'm not sure I'm checking around hey no problem mom you have my number just let me know and with that it's like it says to you Wow okay this person got business this person got business they don't need my money so they're not gonna be looking to trying to scam me or get over on me and mmm that's somebody I want to work with the same thing happens in every area every aspect of life so in a relationship that's why I have a quote that says when you are 100% happy being single that's when you're ready for a relationship now understand 100% made me 80% okay it's all the same what I'm saying is you're not unhappy and miserable and desperate when you're unhappy and miserable and desperate as a single person you need to stay single a relationship will destroy you because you are going in incomplete but when you are content and understand content does not mean you don't desire more content means you are grateful for where you are in your life so you are content and you're balancing that contentment with your desire so understand me that's the space you want to get to to where you can go to bed peaceful at night even if you've got to be listening to my videos why are you going to bed why are you zoning on out but you just got good messages going into your subconscious you are you can go to bed without crying because there's some people now going to bed punching their pillow punching the pillow crying cursing God out just going off on God and God sitting up there like they're right the world did you and they just how could you do this to be Lord I trust you I serve you I kill I paint my child I even kill ties to Tony caskets in addition to my pastor and you and this stock of forgive me lawful said called haha this not get married that's not getting married and I'm still single and going on in the Lord life what bringing all that energy up here sending all that up yeah and so Lord confused so what you have to realize is you have to get to a place to where you can create a jeweler routine that that look urge that you have for that love for that relationship to be back with your ex or to be with your next you curve in that your curbing it with some that curbing that enthusiasm with other activities with your purpose you know you starting your nonprofit organization to raise money to be able to buy groceries for people when they lose their job you really dive and deep in there you write in your book you becoming a life coach so you could be a singles coach so you can help other people who's struggling with single life help them find peace and happiness and knowing that that's gonna help you at the same time you dive in deep if you got to go on my mentor dot life every week and have you a $25 hour session you spending a hundred dollars of mine you working a good job you take care yourself you may have kids but you can afford their hundred dollars some you can afford more than that to where you just VIN you getting your frustration off your chest you get in your worries your doubts your fears you get all that off your chest when you talk to your life coach and then guess what they're giving you good feed sound feedback you like I need to hear that to hear that Wow I needed to hear that see that's where you got to get to that's the place you got to be and that's where you got to get to now and understand that when you get there that's when you ready for love that's when love gonna find you see love will find you the person you posed to be with that person you're gonna meet that person when you're not desperately looking now imagine panting for air and imagine having your tongue out that's how you look when you're dressing also doctor when you start an unnecessary conversations when you being all extra in the conversation that you just struck up and the person even feel like talking and you struck up a conversation and not only did you strike up a conversation you being extra who wants to deal with you when you're paying for air you paying for you you got the tongue guy but if you look in composed well put together confident calm cool that right there that energy that or people want to be around you people want to get closer to you people want to know you people want to understand because that emotional intelligence is attractive so your ain't desperate out here so understand that cuz see a lot of people going from thirsty to dehydrate it and that's not a track down so think about it when somebody come over to your house somebody come over your house do you like the person that drink three of your sodas or three of your juices get three glasses of water eat three bag of chips eat your leftover food eat a plate want a second plate do you like that person or you like the person come over and they just have a bottle of water they just hitting on that one little bottle of water don't even drink it all take take the rest with them and who you're gonna like company from the person cool calm and collected even the Bible say do not go to the King house starving do not go in there starting like you ain't never ate before you need to go in there with some sins and so that's what you have to realize about a relationship so what's happening now just what's happening okay you got thirty women and you got ten men all right now out of this thirty women three of them three of them gonna be ready three I'm gonna be cool calm and collected three are cool calm and collected then guess what out of this ain't me and one of them initially gonna be cool calm and collected so guess what although it was thirty other women when you happy being single when you know who you are you at peace you work on your business you're working on your body you're working on your brand you're working on your brain you're working on the three B's brain brand body brain brain body brain brain body you're working on the three B's guess what you elevate and you go into the top you going to the top 10% of women now you're going to the top 10% of women over here with the man you're gonna have these men the man who is ready working on his three bees he's going into the top ten percent of men so now the chances of you meeting the person for you is much greater because you change your mindset you change the way you move you've changed your self-talk you're doing the work you're no longer average you are above average and understand this now you can be above average in one area and that's that that's the issue is most people are above average financially or they're above average physically or the above average spiritually but it's just above average in one one area your goal what you gotta be is you gotta seek to be above above average spiritually emotionally financially physically you're working on you the three B's when you're working in that way now you're growing now you change it so guess what most men gonna take shortcuts most women gonna take shortcuts do you want to be you know do you want to have all everybody being your competition because y'all on the same level or do you want to elevate to that next level so now here you have instead of everybody being an option it's only three people that's option not nice just 10% of y'all that's even ready for a relationship so now you know cut everybody else out because you're working on yourself now I may have said my numbers wrong but you get what I'm saying you have to get to the place to where you're not thinking like the other singles you're not desperate you're not cursing god got out you're not beating up your pillow every night you know you ain't walking around looking desperate and thirsty trying to show all of your body trying to bait you know trying to bait somebody through pictures on social media you working on you you're working on the brain brand and body you focus you dealing with what's that hand if all you got in your life is friends and family right now no romantic interest that's where you focus that you being the best aunt or uncle the best cousin the best son or daughter the best sister or brother you focus on where you can be focused at doing what you can do and you know that love is on the way but your chances increase the better you get the better you get so now let's say let's say all ten of these men have a grown man inside of them every man got a grown man inside of them but to be honest with you it's a grown woman that pulls it out because when you elevate and you go from being just like the whole thirty and now you get to the top three women in the pool in the dating pool and you're in your city now that you elevate now you are grown woman now you elevate over here as a man you a grown man and so you two come together you ain't perfect you're not perfect but because you know what you want what you refuse to settle for you're able to hold the other person accountable so now the little bit of growing boy that's in this man the grown woman holds him accountable the little bit of grown girl that's in this woman the grown man holds her accountable and so you can literally have and see this the thing the reason why it can be more men even though it seemed like is less man the reason why it can be more men that's available more single men that's available than single women is because the men are the pursuers the men are the choosers so the man is the one who has to get on one knee so all 10 of these men could be looking for their wife they all ten could be looking for their wife they are none perfect now but all ten of them got got a wrong man inside of them and the more grown you are as a woman the easier it's gonna be the call that out of him the call that growing boiled by to him to rebuked that growing boy and increase that grown man now here's the thing now imagine with these men they looking for a grown woman so now imagine it going from being 30 women that these 10 million choosing from to it being 3 women now the woman got the advantage because it's 10 different men over here that gonna be choosing and so if this woman has elevated she worked on her brain her brain her body she knows what real love is she knows what a real man looks like she knows what a real woman looks like she knows what a healthy relationship and a healthy marriage looks like she's gotten that knowledge even though if she's never had it she's done the coaching she didn't went to my mentor dot life she had a session or three or four sessions with me so she knows so now she know what looked for so when it man come yep get away get out way get out the way you alright I'll entertain you so now really although it seems like there's less men as you elevate as a woman and you stop being like everybody else you stop vibrating on that same level operating in the same mindset now you go to a new level and the same thing is gonna happen with a man because first you're gonna meet the man represented too when he sees that you the real deal he gonna kick that representative to the curve and he gonna become the man he needs to be if he's the man for you but guess what if he's not you got nine others in line why because you elevated so now the other women is no longer competition for you so now you got to pick out a little now the men lining up but here's the thing that only comes with confidence that only comes with patience that only comes with doing the work being okay being content so when you're confident and you're content being single do not chase love don't chase law don't look for love look to love yourself how can you grow how can you get better how can you change how can you be a better person focus on that when you do that you're going to attract what you've become you're gonna attract what you become not saying that what's less than you won't approach you he or she may approach you but you will still attract what you've become and you're gonna recognize that when you attract that person you're gonna see it because you've become it so now it looks familiar real recognize real now you know this person is for me well see you've got to be cool calm and confident because if you desperate then you're going to miss read you're gonna miss judge this person you're gonna ignore all the red flags and you're gonna be up the creek without a paddle because you're so desperate for love so listen and then especially if you sing with our kids now if you sing with our kid I'm trying to get out the house if I was you singing with no kids I'm out the house six out of seven days out of weed six out of seven days out of the week money I got layup Club Tuesday I got crochet Club Wednesday I got the Church Bible study and Life Group Thursday I got the Jazz Club Friday got fun Friday Club Santy I got sweet Santa Club Sunday I got Church oh my oh my the house if you sing with no kid you got to have your routine that you going going going going that you're part of clubs and organizations you're going to events all the time you invested in you you read the books you doing your coaching you investing in you you are a brand you are entity you to CEO you doing community inclusion you look at yourself like a company just how the company got sponsorship efforts they got the community involvement efforts they got diversity initiatives that's how you live in your life you you African American you going to a salsa class that's your diversity you learn how to salsa you learn how to make on doubles and roti in whatever your race is you get into the other races culture and you learn you're learning from them learning what they do you can book the activities right on airbnb.com block the activity opening back up now but you having about you looking up you're going on meetup.com you joining groups that fit you and you're going to those monthly meetings you might be in three or four different groups so that way you got a meeting each week you got a meeting each week or there might be all four in one week on different days but you out and about you meet in people you ain't shaking hands you give them head knowledge right now we still ain't shaking hands yet so you give a head and I hate how you doing virtual high five but you're out and about you mean people ok you got to take a hand all right little hand sanitizer okay great to meet you mm-hmm so yeah so tell me about yourself but you out and about you moving around you're not sitting at the house doing nothing cuz he does a thing a lot of singles sitting at the house and you expect God to send your spouse to your doorbell you literally think you literally telling yourself God could do all things God can do all things I have seen stranger happen then waiting on my husband to come to the dead God can do it oh you hit me my husband tall dark handsome eventually it's gonna knock on my front door I know it the whoo oh god I served it it's literally people telling themselves that mm-hmm you got you got faith nine you've got a whole lot of faith your mustard seed faith you got you got avocado seed phase you hit me you got faith nine but you don't have our works you got to get out the house and when you get out the house you got to look like you poster be out the house you got to be put together you look like you're going no prom night but you put together you taking care of yourself brain brain body and I'm gonna tell you know what I'm seeing as a coach [Music] what I'm saying is a lot of people saying they read it but truthfully they are not ready a bit more resident a man on the moon are not ready I seen so many singles saying that they bring a lot to the table and I'm just like yeah you bring an appetite to the table yeah you're bringing a fork to the table yeah you bringing a napkin to the table what pool table what where when how who told you that who told you it was a good catch I mean my whole coaching career 13 years now I've been here men and women saying that they amazing now some I talked to some and the ones who a good catch you know who got it all together I confirmed that now it's a lot of people that's tweeting and posting some time just reading tweets sometimes just read a tweet from somebody or see a posting somebody I'm a good catch I don't know what's going on out here and me being a relationship coach I click and I look I'll do my little valuation yeah yeah you look at that they gonna be throwing bait mean ready you got to get ready brain ok knowledge you need to be watching a video every day knowledge brand it's ok to have you a career but have you started something that you can't be fired from cuz just like this right here a lot of people thought it was sin a lot of people thought they was setup thought it was ready got furlough got laid off and I had you took the life coach certification you could have jumped right on my mentor dock life supper minute that loss of income supplemented that unemployment check you're giddy but knew you want to start nothing you want to start nothing that you couldn't be fired from because you thought you was job secure because you got a degree in it a master's in and a doctorate in it no ain't nothing secure ain't nothing secure so you got to be working on your brand what are you building well you weigh upside that where you book at where your nonprofit well your for-profit why didn't you finish the life coach certification yeah you got plenty of sense you got a heart to serve why do you want why aren't you not a life coach yet you know cause number $700 you you can blow you blow through that any way you could be making that money back right now right now like other people doing it but you said now happy with that job half with a little raggedy jaw that any given day they could give that Pink's no brain you get a knowledge brand you're working on you you building something you're working on you you focus you locked in taking your life to the next level body you taking care of you you eating right you're sleeping right you're walking you exercise at least 30 minutes a day even if you're just walking around your neighborhood least 30 minutes a day you take care of you the three B's when you're doing that when you're doing that guess what when you single and it feel like you stuck in single life you need to do more don't just keep doing what you're doing do more do more get better push yourself to the next level push yourself to the limits you got one business start to you got two businesses mentor one person on how to start their first mentor if somebody else on how to start a second do more do more get busier get more productive and when you do that guess what you elevate your elevate you see you could look at a person right now now imagine me if I go and add a muscle if I go and get me a muscle what that's gonna do it's gonna make me look down imagine if I go in I get a degree ooh you accomplished imagine if I go get a master's imagine if I got one company and I and it's successful and I started another company see what everything you do with the progress that you make you get more and more attractive you become more and more appealing on in the dating pool because you're bringing more to the table and so that's what you got to understand you've got to be content being single you got to be happy for this time to just focus on you where you can do what you want to do take all the trees you want to tell you I got a single client that's just opening up businesses businesses open up offices around the country and I say keep doing that because that's what you could do when you're single come on you get a relationship stuff change because now you got to worry about somebody else thoughts and worries and fears and doubts and all of this and a person that you wit can hinder you they can't hinder you it might be love it still could be love you still could be happy but you can't do everything that you could do when you single when you sing you get up and run go do whatever you want to do when you're in a relationship and rightfully so you got to check in you got to be on one Accord you got to be on the same page you got to get permission approval to go make this move in business to go go here go there do this do that talk this / talk that person you got to be in right-standing with your partner when you single you got the freedom to do what you want to do how you want to do it when you want to do it where you want to do it take advantage of that as a single love that embrace that and get better keep growing and elevate yourself cuz you got to look around and you got to look around you got to see the competition and you got to say okay all right think about everybody you know of your gender think about everybody you know and then look at the three B's how much do they know I'm finna learn more look at their brand okay what's their career what kind of careers I'm up against what kind of businesses entrepreneurs I'm up against okay mm-hmm let me tap into my greatness let me do what I know how to do mm-hmm didn't look at the body okay how did popeyes chicken they eating out here Oh vaping smoking weed mm-hmm all right let me focus on my own sleeping around mm-hmm Stephen with 12 million a year 24 many yep mmm let me cut that all the way up you said I mean you look around and now you elevate to that next level you go to the next level my goal was to be the best husband I don't want no husband I meet to be a better husband than me I want to be the absolute best I want to have the highest output and and that's what I'm about and you got to have that mentality to say I'm going to better my best I'm gonna be better today than I was yesterday and when you do that when you focus they're on you growing not just you were tracking somebody but you growing that's when you're like gonna change for the better it is Tony gasps I got to go cuz I got a hat ina upload this hill video before my coaching call and uh forgive me for getting this up late hope you get to see God bless you we'll talk soon

Channel: Tony Gaskins

Views: 46,876

Rating: 4.9652662 out of 5

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Id: vIjXvxgPt-0

Length: 30min 28sec (1828 seconds)

Published: Mon Jun 08 2020