Episode 184 - The Big Fight

hey man how do you feel about welders don't do it i'm i'm not going to answer that what i'm not going to let you get me right now what would even get you i feel pretty good about welders why well does this podcast have any ability to go to mars it sure does you ever listen to dogma oh no it's dogma dog my dick is in your mouth oh i thought you're gonna say dog my podcast is in space dog my podcast is in mark i mean wow dog my podcast is in space nice outside of mars actually to be specific [Music] what's up guys this is the tmg podcast this is today's free episode if you want this episode and an extra bonus episode you can find that right now on our patreon [Music] the mystery of the flying stalkers may [Music] weed add soon woodstock you're not a stoner goodbye the army air forces has announced that a flying disc has been found and is now in the possession of the army [Music] no please look at all the signs flashing your seatbelt and get ready for debate hello everyone welcome welcome back to the ship we had a great first uh broadcast we did a great first broadcast a lot of positive reception about our new uh you uvo yeah which we appreciate yeah very much and actually i realized well i'm i realized the last episode we we didn't thank luke and kyle oh we did not yeah we thanked everyone but the two guys that helped buy this as well exactly yeah luke and kyle were instrumental to the purchase of this uvo yeah and uh we're very thankful for you guys we are we appreciate it we appreciate the hard work yeah and uh it was it was really a lot of work getting this thing in orbit so we appreciate it and uh yeah so a lot of people a lot of positive reception yeah a lot a lot of a lot of this a lot of that um by the way we just want to apologize real quick if you're watching on video you might see cody's jessie dude stop sorry you're just he's exposed you're embarrassing me man you're jlabia your gene labia so i i um these jeans are so tight that well i wore them one day and i complete like i just opened my legs like this i think i was trying to man spread a little bit yeah maybe i'll try mansplain something a kelsey and i was opening my you know giving my nuts some air and this just right down the right down the crotch right nice and so i had it sewed up but now i have this slit right here yeah and this angle exposes it particularly well so yes you can all see my jesse you're jalabia okay my j-spot your j-spot yeah so don't look at it yeah don't look at his jalebia it's not nice but i can see me on monitor right now and it just looks like my legs are shooting out of darkness like i look like a torso like you know what i mean like the shorts don't even look like they're shorts a lot of comments about the knees last week yeah you know i just gotta gotta show them off gotta bring them back i can't believe that we have a full body shot now and i didn't bring out the knees dude i think that's one thing you know a lot of people went through quarantine and like they did all this like self-discovery you know they realize things about their i don't know their own psychology and they went to these massive personal changes i just realized i don't want to wear pants ever again that's totally fair yeah that's totally fair never again do you wear sweats though yeah i will if it's like cold but ideally shorts is i think that's my state perpetually is just shorts that's fair i put on a pair of jeans one time in quarantine i took them off immediately i was like never again i literally donated all but one pair of jeans no you didn't swear what are you being serious i swear really you're done with jeans i'm done with jeans i'm never wearing jeans again really yeah i'm out just boycott jeans yeah i'm out maybe this is a movement maybe we can start this yeah as a movement like this is one thing that we all should realize collectively like noel had this observation i think we should all follow and this this needs to be a boycott jeans moment yeah if you want to if you want to set foot onto this uvo after this episode you cannot have jeans on damn depending on who you are we'll make some exceptions but for the most part yeah i just i just got tired of being jlabia ashamed yeah yeah that's fair every time i put them on you know my jalebia would form people like sweaty why is it so long what is that denim beef ew i was like [ __ ] you guys how much labia b so yeah by the way we got a lot of comments uh last week about the fact that we're not facing each other and how it's people felt bad for our necks and how it's a little bit awkward i want to say are you are you new here yeah i just i just want to quickly shout out everyone with dementia who left that kind of comment um i understand that you may not remember the last three and a half years of this show you can watch any old episode of us in person the closest cody and i have ever been was a right angle and that was still cranking our heads to look at each other what do you mean a right angle when we were in your apartment and you would sit at the head of the table and sit on the side that's true that's true 90 degrees yeah you're right we used to record this [ __ ] on a church pew basically yep on that long bench and just look at each other yeah i don't know a nice little park chat yeah no we did it one time one time we did it in our old studio where we set up a table and we did it across from each other and we were like that was [ __ ] weird yeah we didn't like it yeah we're just so used to youtube we have to be able to look at a camera and this is actually kind of sick now we can look at ourselves instead of each other which is like just like plays into our vanity i think it's perfect for us yeah we don't actually want to talk to each other guys we want to talk to ourselves while standing in the room with another person exactly yo you might notice we swapped the bulbs out as well dude i my eyes between last week's episode and some like videos i shot and some streams i didn't realize they're so beat up from you know that shoot we did oh oh it was the makeup yeah but you can even see a little bit now it's like red under it looks like it got sucked in the face a couple i know i see some shiny you're putting yeah okay yeah i had to grease it up i've been greasing all week man i actually just took all the pomade that i used to use for my hair i'm using that to repair my skin yeah a lot of really good um eye moisturizing chemicals and aid actually definitely would have thought oh we got no signal on the on the tv that's all right we're okay but yeah um well what a weekend down there hold on should we promote the merch oh yeah yeah we should i feel like we should have done this at the top but you know what it's fine we got new merch we do so people were asking us last week we came up with the first episode people where's the merch which is weird we're so the merch i've never seen anyone go yo where is this podcast merch dude i need this [ __ ] podcast more it was it was very flattering well i only saw a couple comments i'm making it seem like there's more people that yeah that's every youtuber i did see a couple there were a couple like no you should have some new merch with the new logo and stuff a couple to youtuber means a thousand yes that's so true yo so all of you been asking constantly knocking down our door about the new merch it's like this is you guys oh my god merch where is it yeah i had i had it's like people sending me rabid dms on instagram like foaming eyes red get off our [ __ ] dicks first of all second of all it's right here yeah brand new merch yeah cody has the only one no no sir oh wow oh thank you candace for putting that there that's very nice of you guys we got this beautiful white hold on you know what let me just hold the camera here there we go this beautiful white tmg with this with this this is a sexy ass white shirt actually it is shout out shout out to our boy jim pfizer shout out to jim pfizer and by the way some of you may be wondering about brandon don't you worry we got plenty you know plenty of ideas and you you'll see brandon as well for sure and we still have the picture he made us back there framed but this is this is the black hoodie by the way these are like quick direct-to-garment uh mock-ups that they made us because we did this uh we were very pressed for time as far as making the merch so the real versions are already in production and they look way [ __ ] better than this this is like the real versions have glow-in-the-dark ink it looks super crazy yeah and uh but the blanks are really good and we switched companies yeah just to let you know yeah we switched companies no more buy my merch get it 30 days later it's already in production it's going to ship out at like at most two or three days after you order it so you can get that by going to tmgpod.com and there's a couple other items too there's some hats some windbreakers and some shorts yeah so you can get um you know dripped up for summer yeah we went all out you know it was uh it was great i'm excited tmgpod.com if you want to get some of that and thank you if you do we appreciate it yeah now on to um the reason why we do things yeah the reason why we went to mars in the first place no not that first we gotta first we gotta get i think we have to pay a little respect cause we just we talked a little bit just now about um you know what we used to film where we used to film back on earth and the number of sets we went through yeah and so nate was nice enough to put together a little edit a little montage so that we could pay some respects to you know where we came from yeah oh man let's go i'm ready to cry what's up guys welcome to tv podcast what's up wait wait pause pause pause can you run this back can we get candace can we have theater mode please yeah candace please is that possible you just oh yeah there we go i love that this is [ __ ] sick i haven't seen this yet this looks crazy yeah let's get sexy all right what's up guys welcome to tv podcast what's up guys of course first episode ever i had to [ __ ] it up it's the smallest yeah i think we've talked more about see that was awkward robots on this podcast than anyone has ever talked about yeah on anything just coming your parents while watching ninja accounts that's the case then i then i'm a [ __ ] shout out to everyone vip who said you guys aren't as short as i thought we got that like eight times i've never done that before my entire life the [ __ ] out of her she didn't even want to [ __ ] she's always going to die here die here pittsburgh holiday daddy cupid draw your bow and let that come flow how to get more [ __ ] in that ass repository can i just honestly that would not surprise me you remind me of a kiss from my bros at the radio anybody want some ice cream well noelle it looks like i also have chlamydia tmg 101 what should this should be some kind of class meats 101 how to beat it we're in tulsa smoking fat doinks right now sausage gravy smothered hashbrowns oh you sick [ __ ] i get sick e-i-o-u and sometimes why daddy slept with the male lady what i don't know how many gen z kids have like creampied their girlfriend and just immediately said wonky slash i was trying to think of a good comeback we haven't had a good time in a while circumference house yeah yeah holy [ __ ] wow that was [ __ ] awesome holy [ __ ] great job i'm all smiling right now that was great yeah let's go back to that good good yeah yeah big ups that was way better than i thought and we also filmed this in way more places than i thought i thought it was just going to be the old studio the ding ding palace and then did we ever do an episode in the first ddp i don't think we did oh yeah because it was way too tiny yeah yeah it was but you know we did one project in there that we never talk about well that you know if you know you know if you yeah okay that's fine like that but we did our very first studio that we ever leased was like it was like it was like a seven by ten because it was like comically small like the three of us making music in there was way too intimate i don't think we even accurately described that place it was like a guantanamo center repurposed for music yes entirely and the fact that there was carpet on the [ __ ] walls how weird is that yeah yeah you know i mean there were um within the facility there were gated doors on like everything like bathrooms yeah it was so it was just a bad time in there hey guys we want to take a quick break to thank the sponsor of today's episode brooke linen there's something so darn exciting about the start of a new season and though the world still is a little bit sideways you've got to love the idea of starting fresh with a few things that will bring you comfort that's where brooke linen comes in and with their birthday sale happening this weekend brooklyn is offering site-wide savings on all things comfort for their biggest sale of the year brooklyn was founded by husband and wife duo rich and vicky with the goal to create beautiful luxury home essentials at prices that didn't break the bank by working directly with manufacturers they ensure premium high quality comfort every time at a fraction of the retail price that means ridiculously soft bedding towels and loungewear brook linen is so darn confident that you'll love everything they even offer a 365 day warranty that's a year wow yes if you're not privy to how many days that is it's a whole year entire year oh and gee they've got 75 000 5 star reviews and counting how many five star reviews do you have zero yeah hard to argue with that all right um so yeah noel tell them about the deal i'll tell you about that deal man you can get everything you need for a spring refresh during brooklyn's biggest sale of the year shout the brook linen birthday sale starting this weekend and if you're listening to this podcast after the sale ends you don't have to worry you can still go to brooklyn.com and use the promo code tng to get 20 off any purchase of a hundred dollars or more that's b-r-o-o-k-l-i-n-e-n.com and enter the promo code tmg for 20 off any purchase of a hundred dollars or more brook linen everything you need to live your most comfortable life so wow we've come a long way literally yeah literally we're now in another uh complete orbit i mean we're in another what would you say galaxy no no we're we're still in the same galaxy in the same area you know we just had to dip out after that weird ass event this weekend oh man that was well you know what no that was the correct ending because with how [ __ ] bizarre that whole thing was that's the only way it could have ended if it ended with ben winning that would have been normal yeah that would have been what everyone wanted and that's not what that event was it's true that event was everything you didn't ask for yeah that's actually a great take i think that's a great take it's just it was like oh yeah of course he was gonna win yeah you think we're gonna it i you know my favorite quote from the whole thing is the billionaire guy who beat up that um latin artist the dude ray khan yeah who got beat up by that literal billionaire he's a billionaire yeah he's like super rich and he's dating jake's ex wait wait what was this the first fight the dude in the pink shorts i don't think was it the very first fight yeah i missed that one oh wow that you missed a uh an unethical beating okay so so he got beat up or he did the beating he did the beating because he he's a billionaire but he i think he fought amateur he had like a professional record of 8-0 oh and the dude ray khan had trained for a month and he went in there to box and i think he's like jake paul's friend and i think maybe his management thought it'd be like a good look for him to just get in there and show some and this billionaire dude like he had hands he was chopping him down he hit him with a knockout punch oh my god he hit him with this three [ __ ] flush raycon went from like this and he went like his like he was about to sneeze that was the look and he fell right on his ass he stood back up and and the billionaires chopping them down a little bit more first of all think just listen to what i'm saying right now the first fight was a billionaire beating on a latin artist that's what i'm saying i'm confused it's the most bizarre event let me let me verify where raycon's from real quick but i'm pretty sure he's latin dude the whole the whole thing and i was saying this yesterday the whole thing was just it just gave me this really uneasy feeling we talk about like black mirror [ __ ] in the future of entertainment all the time on the podcast and what it's turning into and everything but like as far as it is now it feels like we had you know it feels like there was like this crazy boom in entertainment like over the last five years right netflix and game of thrones and like and succession all these incredible shows and then now it's kind of like the end stages of entertainment before we go into vr and it's like masked singer it's like what the [ __ ] is that a bunch of weird reboot game shows that are just like completely forced yeah and now that event last yeah saturday yeah [ __ ] was [ __ ] bizarre in every way it was like the performances were weird the the the slap boxing was weird it was shot weird like whoever directed that oh my god what the [ __ ] don't even get me started i'm serious yeah maybe don't make me put on my director goggles director's chat when he gets to talking about this but i really i want first of all i think that's super [ __ ] astute it's like yeah we're at the end we're at like the end of entropy you know yeah it's just completely this is when you're 45 revolutions out on the fibonacci cycle and you're just like you know yeah uh you're about to go out into [ __ ] nowhere um like i wasn't not enjoying it i wasn't enjoying it i was just sitting there in awe the whole time like what am i watching this is a whole new [ __ ] i paid 50 dollars for this yeah and i don't know what it is like like there was no there's no one like um you know managing the chaos it was complete chaos the whole time it was like it was like sweetie was was like completely and and shamelessly lip syncing her whole performance yeah which was a little bit like was that intentional was it made this was it supposed to make it seem like she was singing and then the like all the you know snoop dogg and all the announcers were like completely untamed and then pete davidson was completely unfiltered and it was like is this did they did they know it was a pay-per-view event so they wanted to make it seem like you paid for something so we're going to give you unfiltered explicit content or was there's just no director yeah i i mean it definitely there's no way there was a program director if so that dude like fell asleep and then woke up the day after and went oh i completely forgot like i had to show the boxing event my favorite line from the whole thing is after the billionaire dude chops down raycon by the way the dude raycon just took a knee randomly that ref that ref was bogus a ref was like a literal dirty meatball just like this was it the same guy that was pretty sure just like the old guy with like the curly hair dude like like he literally looked like like his skin looked like raw meat with like like belly button lint on the top of his head you know like if this dude accidentally gets in the middle of something and takes a little like you know he's going to be punched he's going to be dead yeah he's not going to make it raycon randomly takes a knee he gets back up and the billionaire dude opts to chop him down with body shots because he feels bad that he's just trashing him on the [ __ ] face to the point that the billionaire like hits hits to do with a couple body shots he looks at the ref and he gestures like this this guy can't fight and the ref's like that was the greatest moment out of the whole thing a boxer is in the middle of killing this other guy he looks at the ref and goes you're going to do something and the ref goes whatever you want to do man i don't know how about it yeah yeah beat him up who cares it's trillian yeah [ __ ] it [ __ ] it man [ __ ] face who cares so he so i honestly think triller was like just go for it you know no i think they just go they set everything up and then they just said just go i think they spent all the money on the artists and then they couldn't afford to pay themselves to be there yeah so they just sent everyone in and crossed their fingers that they would just you know it's like it had the vibe of like your mom like like leaves for the weekend or something and she has like a very specific list and she buys you very specific food and she's like eat this at this time and don't go over or under and i'll be back in two days and then you invite you've invited all your friends over you ate all the food in the first hour yeah and now you're going to starve next 48. the billionaire goes i want to be a part of every fight club because they appropriated that name yeah because i want to be a part of every fight club and i want to be a part of triller and i love trailer because what they're doing is so disruptive and they held true to that they disrupted every aspect of what you expected in a [ __ ] boxing card oh absolutely they absolutely did that and they did a great job of letting everyone know that boxing is actually the least interesting part of a boxing card and what you really want to see is um weird performances on what looks like a half rendered uh like like scaffolding yeah like there wasn't even a stage it was all scaffolding they were dancing on a construction site it really wore that's what it looked like like it looked like once when sweetie started performing i i like halfway through a first song i was like i thought it was like an intermission like like like like choreography or something i didn't realize that it's like this is her performance yeah yeah and and it's just like i'm sitting there and she's got the like the cane and she did like a she was kind of kicking off her performance like the top of that ramp yeah and i'm like wait how long is it going to go on up here because she was like up there for a minute yeah and then she walks down like okay she's walking down in the set but with the way that thing was built it just looked like she was perpetually walking down to the real set yeah i didn't know where the real set began exactly that's what i meant that's what i meant it seemed like it was all build up for something that was gonna happen and then i realized oh no this is it we're in the meat of it right now it looked like [ __ ] tilted towers like like after half the server's dead and and half the [ __ ] [ __ ] is beat out by like pickaxes and stuff it's like oh yeah this was looted already it looked like in mario when you go down in like one of the tubes and then you're in the underworld yeah just going like this [Music] are you wearing yours am i wearing my what your skin condom i am wearing mine right now yes well why don't we take a break and tell them tell the people about condoms hey guys we want to take a quick break to thank the sponsor of today's episode and that's skin condoms skin register trademark creates products skin creates products for those who know what they want and who are not afraid to demand it those who choose to feel everything not just in the bedroom but in life skin products are designed using the very latest technology to help you and your partner create a truly intimate sexual experience from condoms to lubes to toys skin products and body our mission to feel everything there's a reason why skin is the number one non-latex condom brand in the world because it's made with skin feel a revolutionary polyestering material that's both soft to the touch and yet comfortable for the most natural fit and feel get it the name is skin while you stay protected a weird sentence yeah they have a range of styles for everyone meaning you know small but no actually i don't know if that's true they have a range of styles for everyone if you know what i mean it's an essential to have on hand for all moments you plan for and the ones you don't choose to feel everything shop skin condoms on amazon.com and and how how crazy was it to hear two shorts lyrics and realize that [ __ ] did not hold up in 2021 oh yeah what was he saying i mean you know it held up but like for us because we you know that music is i think iconic to us but i think to any gen that's the other part that killed me is i'm like who is this oriented towards because all these artists are like pretty old besides sweetie and and dosia like i was thinking there's probably gen z people who don't get who too short ice cube and maybe they don't even really get who snoop dogg is totally in the realm of like hip-hop well i think that's why they were trying to appeal to like the widest audience possibly yeah yeah yeah and that's why i mean justin bieber's performance was the best part of the whole [ __ ] thing that was the only part of the whole show where i was like this is normal entertainment this like reminds me of something else i'd pay for i i didn't feel that way just because like when i looked at that stage layout and i started watching this performance i was just thinking is this the [ __ ] coachella live stream from 2011 on band camp like what the [ __ ] are we even supposed to be watching here i i was just so annoyed that a show could be this disjointed you know what i'm saying yeah like even that set was so drastically different from the other set that it it almost felt oh you know what it felt like what when you get a hotel room in vegas and they have that default channel on and it's showing you all the entertainment for the night that is the perfect comparison this is your entertainment for the weekend at the win you can do it put your back into it i'm sure they got ice cube here you know that's my best friend yo they got new artists this is crazy they have boxing matches get the [ __ ] out we should go see one of these this is all happening in the same place wait what i'm sorry what and what the [ __ ] was up with those random vlog cuts which there was no transition of like after the the dude fought raycon it just transitioned to snoop and sweetie walking around backstage there was no like and now a behind-the-scenes look at yeah then they're just walking and i'm like what the hell is this and then they just put the the camera op just like waddles in there and then he points down at some chicken nuggets i'm like oh this is a brand deal this is quite honestly the worst brand deal i've ever seen yeah the backstage stuff was super awkward like really really uncomfortable in both both cases pete davidson goes so like he's just like i don't know why i'm here i don't respect either of these people so i'm just gonna be honest about that in front of them [Laughter] meanwhile jake has like not like ten nine or ten dudes right yeah in his locker room he's trying to like stay like yeah it's very clear he's like trying to stay in the moment and whatever and pete's just doesn't give a [ __ ] like trolling him to his face that's why i kind of didn't that's one reason i didn't blame ben for losing because of how long after the fight went yeah if i was ben and i'm four hours past the time i'm supposed to fight i'm going in there and i'm just i might have fell on purpose yeah you know yeah it's like yeah he won yeah i just would have aged i want to go to bed i'm old i want to go to my family i'd be home to watch a movie yeah like two hours ago so just here just i'll give you my there you go just go right there and i'll and i'll fall i'll put down i'll make it i'll sell it i'll make it seem real i'll take a dive man and it'll be good yo he did fall pretty hard though we'll talk about that but i still we need to roast the camera angles on that [ __ ] because i have never you know i was just screaming at the tv almost i'm like oh you know what i'd love to see during a boxing match and over the shoulder of a random audience member yeah that's like how i want to see the fight yeah over a shoulder through the ropes on the ring and then the referee's ass just gliding over the frame and then in between there you might see a punch it's like yeah boxing match yeah it's it's artistic yeah it is what the [ __ ] was with that random body cam did you notice that no they put did the refs had body cams and they would just roughly switch to this like weird gopro angle where you'd go like break them up and it's not a good angle like you're just looking at crotch it's like they asked someone who has no who's never done like it's triller you know they're a [ __ ] video they're a tick-tock clone it's like it's so weird that they that they are now producing these massive pay-per-view events when they have no idea what the [ __ ] they're doing or they've never done it before ever like you think they'd hire one person who's done it before but they didn't they were like no we can reimagine this we're a tech company you know we can disrupt this too i feel like it was like the like the ceo's kid he's like he's got a passion for videography man yeah he's gonna direct the whole thing and the guy signing the check goes oh my [ __ ] god no he's great dude you should see his slo-mo videos of oh we should have a body cam on the ref why has nobody thought of this before see that's what i'm i'm a non-linear thinker dude that's why you hired me dog because i see things differently than you do it's like there's a reason why there's never been a body cam in a boxing match before because it doesn't [ __ ] work and it's annoying bro when like i think they try to take one of the you ufc's book by like putting camera guys on the edge of the ring but what they don't realize is in a [ __ ] octagon it's like they have more degrees of of viewing angle yeah so like they can get these you know they can angle across and like zoom in and get close on the cage and like they're standing over it you can't do that in a boxing ring you're [ __ ] eye level with the guys boxing there's a chance they're taller than you and you can't stand on the edge because if they they'll just you know i think that was part of it was like you would see dudes on the edge of the ring and i think there was this perpetual like climbing on and off [ __ ] that they were doing which blew my mind because i'm like oh you guys clearly didn't want to spend the money on the part that [ __ ] matters and it's like it's socially distant so it's not like you have anyone in there that you can't put a camera you know what i mean like yeah yeah there's no one occupying space that you can't put a camera like the correct amount of feedback to get the [ __ ] event i was dying laughing because the the dude who went away on the fake body shot yeah so he's like i i guess he's like up in the rankings with they're promoting another fight that dude tia fema and he's actually like a very talented accomplished boxer he's got like four belts it's it's like a big [ __ ] deal i boxing community can't even believe that he's doing that fight okay on triller okay and i was chuckling because the dude who um regis the guy who won like how pissed would you be you win that fight and you're like oh man i i want to watch it and your whole team's like yeah um i don't think you'll be able to watch it it's like why why not you go back and watch it it's just like referee ass body cam [ __ ] pete davidson oscar de la hoya cracked the [ __ ] out [ __ ] give me another beer like just what do you have away do you have a clip of the commentary from from the uh announcer's booth yeah bruh yeah let this rip great you feel great we're amazing and guess what now it's my turn hey mario have you ever i know were you hanging out with snoop because i see that snoop is everywhere tonight you can wash your clothes on my abs right now dude oh my god wait pause it the amount of [ __ ] weed jokes that these white announcers made to snoop was next level cringe it was like every single time they had to address snoop it's like well i had a little bit of snoop's weed earlier and i'm i'm on another planet right snoop and he's like yeah like every time every time mario it sounds like he had a little bit of snoop's ganja mario you know i have to say i've been i've been commentating boxing for 20 years now this is the first time i've had contact because of snoop's weed because he's smoking weed during the event yeah next to me yeah the whole yeah the commentary was out of control i i couldn't believe that there was no one there to be like hey guys shut the [ __ ] up please shut the absolute [ __ ] best part is the guy that goes ben askren's built like a bag of milk right before he gets knocked out i was like that is poetry just poetry it's just demeaning as [ __ ] i felt bad for him dude i was like i know roasted and he doesn't even know it and then he just got knocked out i mean bro we want to take a quick break to thank another sponsor of today's episode and that's liquid death liquid death listen you might go to the you know the gas station or something like that and you might see a water in the water section that looks like a beer yeah like a tall boy of beer you might think what the heck is that beer doing in the water section well guess what it's water and it's mountain spring water and it's very refreshing and delicious yeah you can really taste that mountain spring in there [Music] yeah that's that mountain it's that mountain spring asmr right there you know what's crazy is this stuff murders your thirst and it murders plastic um oh liquid death yeah liquid death yeah you get it murders your third completely kills your thirst yeah and it's death to plastic because you know it's no longer profitable to recycle plastic that's why they use all aluminum here's another cool thing they also donate 10 of the profits from every can sold to help kill the plastic pollution so you know you're contributing to the environment while you slip these bad boys and can i just say it's really fun to drink water from a can i know that sounds kind of stupid but it actually is a lot of fun and it looks like a beer so you can trip people out you know you like i was i was surfing the other day and i got out and i was like wait i was like drying off and i was drinking this at 9 00 a.m and i got some weird looks from passers-bys yeah but little do they know i was just murdering my thirst yeah they didn't know that you were just savagely killing your thirst exactly i got hammered later but at that moment it was just water hammered you got hammered by the the actual ocean yes yeah yeah yeah um so right now go to liquidate.com tmg to get a free set of koozies with your first order of any case of water or just grab some at any whole foods or 7-eleven that's liquiddeth.com tmg to get a free set of koozies with your first order of any case of water here's what we so you know shout out to this boy who tweeted you know he tweeted at me love you dog but you were kind of wrong about that whole thing which first of all i technically wasn't because i said someone was gonna win yeah exactly we were i think we nailed yeah yeah i think we're actually 100 correct and that someone won yeah but i don't know you know i think everyone else felt wanted to believe but we didn't listen to our own advice because after the last fight we were both talking we said nah he's just going to pick cans and it's just all going to be for play yeah like we'll just keep paying or you know wasting time to see if it'll happen but it's never going to happen because he's never ever gonna pick someone like right now he's saying like oh tommy fury and whatever he's not gonna fight tommy fury [ __ ] no absolutely not he's not gonna fight that guy i mean if he if he if he did though it would be a nice little like love island oh yeah we could we could have some fun with that one no it would i mean jake is doing what other fighters do in their amateur careers is they get their records padded by you know beating up guys or because you're getting experience in the ring right but it's crazy to think that his first fight was with um deji and that was like an appropriate match-up yeah they both had limited training they're both kind of young and he got worked yeah and i and i think jake has proven that he has knockout power which is a lot to prove but when ben would get close to him he kind of seemed to panic a little bit like i'm still not believing that you know he's like uh competent yeah actually you know what i take it back he's really good he's so good i think he is actually you could fight anyone are you just saying this that you get it right next time if he went no no no i'm saying this because i think you know and i'm gonna bump this um i actually think jake paul has proven i take back everything i just said i think jake paul's proven he's the best boxer on earth why i think i mean he could fight literally anyone why are you why are you saying this uh because i think the fight to make is him and brandon lee oh that's the guy that you used to just yeah just just just pull up brandon lee i think this is the only this is actually jake paul's only chance at competition okay cause i think jake paul would literally walk through any human on this earth okay yeah any weight class any anything i mean he's quite possibly the best boxer made by god i think i think i would say he's the most naturally talented and the hardest training boxer as well yeah probably trains harder than anyone anyone and so that's why this fight should be the next one what is this this is wait just play that real quick let's just get a little little uh comedic intermission here let's get brandon yeah [Music] that's scary that's scaring me that bag weighs 200 pounds by the way that dude is literally thrashing concrete yeah that's scary so that's okay now wait why are you and why did you bring this up because he because he said he would pay to fight jake paul oh he really so i think we need to start a gofundme for to to jump start brandon lee's [ __ ] um you know entry fee to compete with jake paul because you know jake paul only does it for the money right that's really the only way to get his attention so you know uh which i think is fair because he is the greatest boxer on earth yeah so it's only right that a guy like brandon lee has to pay yeah to fight jake paul okay i see now if you take a guess how many fights do you think brandon's been in just as a professional 12. um and how many of those would you say do you think he's one 12. he's 22-0 okay wow so this is a scary [ __ ] yeah go go to his page i'm like how have i never heard of this guy scroll down look at um keep going keep going oh is it gonna do the thing or it makes you go down a little bit more a little bit more a little bit more i think it's that clip where the referees in blue this is a great clip because if open it in a private tab this is a great clip because you can actually see what happens okay you know i'm just doing this in case someone from trailers watching this is how you can actually see a boxing match it's pretty interesting okay and only 21 years of age with a 90 knockout percentage 90 percent there's an overhand right and later the ref just says no more he ends the fight like he ends the fight he just waves it off he's like no this is done because this he just knows this kid is like he landed like six in a row the two just like it's like when you're five years old and you have a balloon and wrapped around your hand and you're just sucking the [ __ ] out of that thing this dude is [ __ ] frightening man so yeah you know i think really he's the only he's the only one worthy of jake paul's time well i think i think in a video or something like that jake paul said he's the future he said the future of boxing is here oh he's right he's 100 correct and so well yeah i'm just saying like there has to be there there can only be one future of boxing probably yeah so it might they might you know they should they might as well like duke it out and see who's it who is it's gonna be you know yeah no i definitely agree with that um yeah poor band man this is also great like look at how like janky this uh post fight interview fight interview play this crash it's so weird okay let me know when you're ready let me know when you're ready and i'll get the first question in it's from donna corby okay you can pause it i don't know yeah it's just like yeah all right ben it's he's just like you're tuned into a zoom post fight yeah they didn't think through anything man so yeah you know it's only what they made they made 70 million dollars though 1.3 million pay-per-view buys of that and so which equals 72 million or something like that sorry i forgot the most important part which how could we forget the most important part was all the budget put towards the fireworks show for after jake paul won yeah yeah that was the most important part was to make sure they had a literal battleship load of fireworks ready i'm surprised the whole [ __ ] place didn't light on fire honestly for how much like preparation they put into the actual boxing part you can imagine they didn't do any planning as far as like fireproofing no no no they just sent that [ __ ] into the air i was crying at all those memes like like jordan like hugging like his trophy and like crying at me like jake paul after he beats up a cashier like you know like that's jake paul's next fight is like a like a part-time like high school cafeteria guy yeah who boxes in his spare time like jake's literally going on a campaign and fighting the most you know um challenging opponents ever yeah you know so sorry tommy fury would be a real thing though right i think he'd [ __ ] bricks if he fought tommy fury what i'm saying like that would be a real fight that would be it would be a real [ __ ] that one it would be a real one i honestly feel it it's someone who has to be quick yeah i i don't like i i rewatched the fight three times you did yeah this is okay because it's like 20 seconds long yeah and i'm just like what what like like i i watched it back because i'm like all right i don't really remember what happened other than ben askren got knocked out it's like what the [ __ ] happened when you look at it like jake did what he was supposed to do like ben didn't ben gave him all the looks that should say i'mma knock this dude the [ __ ] out you know like ben wasn't even really covering yeah you know like jake threw out that jab and ben's hands just stayed in the same place so it was almost like ben was or jake was just like punching around [ __ ] you get what i'm saying yeah like it wasn't like ben was like cover cover dip dip so why wouldn't jake win oh so he did what he was supposed to do but i don't think you know there's that much there in terms of like the speed because like he he did a shot to the body that looked like me hitting pads i'm like you should be a lot faster than me ben no [ __ ] jason oh i see he hit him with his shot to the body i don't know his feet i can't tell the angle was so [ __ ] yeah maybe his feet were positioned horribly but i don't know yeah i rewatched it and i'm like i just hate that this kid is like acting like you know he just won like game seven of some [ __ ] yeah it's like bro you just beat up an old man and uh yeah it's funny there's so much smoke after the fireworks at the end it's like i could have swear you know snoop's around [Laughter] snoot must be here snoop we've been getting a fireworks show all night up here cause of snoop's weed did ben askren just get knocked out by jake paul or did i have too much of snoop's weed happy 420 by the way dude kind of which one yeah kind of regards by the way yeah kind regards happy 420 because i'm great to meet you by the way dude kind of regards have a nice day yeah we want to quickly interrupt this week's episode to say thanks to doordash the sponsor of this episode dinner check deodorant check morning pick me up from duncan check get everything you need whenever you need it with doordash what what's deodorant what it doesn't matter doordash connects you with restaurants you love right now and right to your door and now you can get the grocery store essentials you need with doordash get drinks snacks and other household items delivered in just under an hour ordering is easy couldn't be easier honestly it's easy it's as easy as pie open the door dash app which you can also actually get on doordash wow open the doordash app choose what you want from where you want and your items will be left safely outside your door with contactless delivery drop-off setting with over 300 000 partners in the u.s puerto rico canada and australia you can support your neighborhood go-to's or choose from your favorite national restaurants like popeyes chipotle and my personal favorite cheesecake factory so for a limited time our listeners can get 25 off and zero delivery fees on their first order of 15 or more when you download the doordash app and enter the code tiny that's 25 off that's up to a 10 value and a zero delivery fees in your first order when you download the doordash app in the app store and enter the code tiny don't forget that's the code tiny for 25 off your first order with doordash uh subject to change terms applying subject to that's a change try you try to say it subjected change terms apply best we even got a green you guys can't see it but we even got a green moon out there on the horizon yeah we got to get a wider shot of the whole ship because we'll get that wait there's a third window yeah we've got three windows here this is like almost an observation deck it is actually it's a really nice part of the ship yeah it's beautiful um yeah it's all right we'll we'll we'll just set up an angle so everybody can see it next time yeah so tell me run me down what's going on with the super league i i watched yes james a bunch of my friends are soccer fans so they were telling me about it and then i watched james corden's six minute long rant on his show about it did you watch that no it actually was really good oh and broke down the reason why people are so hurt yeah what's going on with the super league well it's just like it's [ __ ] because it just i'm not i don't follow football like that but yeah it's it's so [ __ ] because the way it's structured now small clubs have a chance at being like you know cinderella story yeah where you're you know and and you need that right yeah like that [ __ ] kind of motivates communities it gives people a shot out of whatever like it's something to reach for and it's just like nah unless you're part of the most elite the most expensive football club get [ __ ] like your shot at going pro is is in my understanding almost nil like there's no way yeah but it's not even really about the players it's about the community pride yeah yeah yeah how your team it's like it's all i mean it's like the entire identity of some of these cities and the the you know the dream of your team one day being the one that wins like what was the one that did it uh starts with an l lee lester leaster is that right kyle do you know lester and what was their they won what they won the premier league and it's the first time that's happened in like what first time ever yeah yeah and where is lester leicester uk leicester less the city no lee caster lee leechester pretty sure it's pronounced lester okay yeah how many what's the english people yeah i mean it's wild and that was like the biggest thing that's happened english people don't know how to and that's such a cool story [ __ ] you know english people what they just don't know how to spell [ __ ] yeah what's that lancaster that's leicester oh no it's not what is that war sister wolchester no it's not no it's not no it's not bad it says right there no schnoz leicester it's leicester schlester you know that he's from round here now babes listen it's lester and there's a c in there let's see just for you because you're [ __ ] yeah i can't can't there's that that's more australian yeah yeah yeah [ __ ] can't mate someone's ears are bleeding post i don't take talk look at that did we [ __ ] we posted our uh uh vaccine wax and have socks but on tick tock and they took it down for sexual content what have you what are you what are your mods doing they got straight up like teenagers there's [ __ ] porn yeah i'm saying straight up teenagers being like this is what i look like when i give head it's like and you can't say socks without getting taken down what a bizarre bizarre rule that [ __ ] voice on tick tock like that should have just burned into my brain like that's all the timeline feels like to me at times name a time where you gave head in the back of the car yeah i know yeah this is what you look like yourself and then film what you look like after you eat a mcchicken what just say it i don't understand if you put your nose up to your forehead this is what it looks like when you get your [ __ ] aid [ __ ] i'm gold then i'm gold and i'm golden name a time where you did a crime okay so when i yeah whatever um we just need to do it in that voice babe i'm fast and i'm waxed and ready to have sex her [ __ ] dirty i eat it i feel like i'm [ __ ] mad max there we go some [Music] [Laughter] we should put that up there and see if it gets through god damn bro but yeah death of a lot of sports [ __ ] this weekend pretty much the death of of soccer if it goes through which it seems like it might go through i mean you know it's the money it's the money driver yeah it's basically the billionaire owners of all of these clubs banding together and forming because they think fifa and [ __ ] take too much money right they probably do but it's all just [ __ ] up it's all but they don't make no money yeah i don't really know how much money they make but i can imagine owning a sports team you make a lot of money it's all a mafia but you know i i did the first like i've never done what i would define as a a psycho sports weekend like i work with i used to work with guys that would you know like march madness or or even world cup i guess world cup's not a great example because people would stay up for that [ __ ] all the time but like even high school my friends would on the world cup were like ditching school and staying up to like yeah 4am to watch it and whatever i've never done that i've always been like just catch it later yeah this is the first time i watched uh the trailer concert and then the ufc card which by the way i was switching between and it was so crazy like how immediate the reaction was from like because we just had a couple people over during the trailer card everyone was talking no people weren't really watching except me and then i go to the ufc card everyone shut the [ __ ] up and they're watching the fight yeah and it was just so wild how like when the productions dialed in everyone just focused yeah because you know whatever and the fighters were better and all this and that that's what it was just like a whole new form of entertainment that's all it was it was like this new form of wrestling weirdly yeah you know the whole thing is just meant to be more of like a show than it is an actual sporting event people got felt so robbed by it that they just couldn't believe that jake paul won yeah they didn't want to believe that they i actually screenshotted the most hilarious comment off this site read it read it yeah dot the the amount of self-hate projected into this this sentence like i was howling i need to change my life i can't believe i was actually excited to watch this i really do need to get off the internet and go live in the wild all right that's one follow up here guys i'm with you i had a [ __ ] night being a loser but the one thing that interrupted my anger was fight night and the excitement that comes with it even though i wasn't in the mood i still had to tune in now i'm back to being a loser but i feel the second-hand embarrassment for ben what is that what is that holy comment what [ __ ] i had a [ __ ] night of being a loser what a weird way to start that he's just branding himself as like a loser you know weird way just like i was already having a shitty day because i'm a small dick loser and i was going i was just going about my beta-ass day just just [ __ ] you know not standing up for myself and being a soft loser and now you know what that is that's unconvincing redditer yeah i'm there with you man i too had a [ __ ] night being a small dick [ __ ] no [ __ ] getting virgin ass loser watching the fight as well dude i i was with you man i spent my whole saturday browsing forums because i'm one of you this is a [ __ ] cop yeah exactly dude i'm right there with you man i was sitting you know i was having a [ __ ] night because i have small balls and i had to tune into the event and i had to watch ben lose and now i mean now i just have the second hand embarrassment while having small balls dude dude can i ask you something how bad are these mods dude these mods are ruining what we love you know man whenever i post something on the forum and mod takes it down flags it you know oh that stinks whenever i post a picture of my small balls on the forum and i'm posting it on our tiny balls and it's like they just won't let it fly are my balls not small enough it's like they're too small so i have to go to r slash tiny tiny balls micro balls yeah what's what's the [ __ ] line dude yo go candace can we get drama lighting dude i got so much karma yesterday all right here we go ready nate you're gonna have to go to singles for this all right [Music] i'm right there with you man you know i had i was already having a [ __ ] night because i'm a small ball loser like you and then i had to watch the fight here i am with the second hand embarrassment and my tiny balls and non-existent penis the only thing that gave me a little hope on saturday after just the most beta day ever eating frozen yogurt all day yeah twiddling my small dick in my small hands is that ben askren might punch jake paul chad by the way yeah in the face [Music] didn't it didn't happen yeah me and my small tiny loser balls were hoping that that chad would get absolutely whopped but no small ball guys lose again and now we're sitting here eating our attendees spilling ketchup on our small dicks [Music] all right candace we can go back to regular [Laughter] why don't we get some dramatic music that during that time oh yeah yeah we need to be able to add that in spilling ketchup on our tiny ass dicks you know what it's like to jerk your small penis with your tendy hands and by the way we're not as much making fun of these i think it's more of like a testament to how funny no i'm saying we're we're there with you i was feeling the same way is what is basically what i'm saying you know we were making fun of that comment because the way he phrased that was really funny but also i was sitting there at the end of that fight i felt wrecked i was like yeah yeah i don't understand i didn't even feel like i got played it was more like i just was more sad for like entertainment yeah in general just like what the [ __ ] i did what's that it's like nobody has any respect for any art form anymore no no really just everything dude i'm getting i did the weirdest cop i've ever done which was immediately after that i switched like asap to espn and just like rewound where the force whitaker fight was at and i just like silently forced everyone to watch that i just didn't want to acknowledge that that happened and halfway through i'm like does anyone feel like a piece of them died and every everyone in the room is just like my assistant like spock were like yeah yeah spock is like what the [ __ ] is even the point of like anything and then alex goes yeah it just kind of feels like god isn't real i'm like yeah it's just oh man it's all fake funny i think collectively we were all kind of in our feelings at the end of that yeah at the end of that night yeah it's just more it's like confusion it's like it's just like utter confusion with the like the uncertainty of like what's to come you know i i'm saying i'm calling it now if jake paul were to ever lose to put himself in a situation where he would lose i think it's gonna it's gonna lose in a way where he still wins i think the way he loses is like the if he were to lose in a boxing match the guy who beats him is going to be such a moral conflict for everyone else it's like that what that now that guy won yeah and yeah it just transferred yeah because the evil just went somewhere else yeah you know or i think he'll he'll uh he'll bail before it can get too serious yeah you know he'll just get to like 4-0 and be like i'm proud of my time with boxing and my hundred million dollars yeah i'm gonna go be a vc now yeah i mean he already is a vc yeah he is but he's a company but he made he must have made at least 10 million dollars from all the pay-per-view buys and you know it's like it feels i don't know but i mean hey [ __ ] i don't know yeah yep that's what i that's all i have to say you know just yeah anyways moment of silence for everybody's attention span on saturday yeah exactly the fact that we need to recap it for 40 minutes as well but nah this is catharsis man yeah i guess we kind of needed to unpack this a little bit i think everybody oh dude i think their therapists all week this week are going to be having like okay so yeah another one of my clients they explained jake paul to me go on great okay because when he lost i just i just rubbed my tendy stuff right i've heard the same thing for the last guy yeah he's just the ketchup on the small just listen to me okay because when tendy ketchup gets on your gets on your small balls teddy ketchup a tandy ketchup gets on your tiny microscopic dick when you spill your tendy sauce on your micro balls you'd be like okay okay don't you hate it when you get tendi ketchup on your small balls [Music] and jake paul tweeted um everyone who said the fight was fake it's tendy ketchup on their small balls we'd be like we'd be even more owned yeah i'd retweet it i'd go retweet and be like i do have tandy ketchup on my small balls i can't argue with that man my package is smothered right now oh man tiny cock's covered in tindy ketchup all right anyway did you see this [ __ ] with new maine this kid i guess got called out for stealing his tick tocks and he blew up from like zero to millions of followers in the span of like half a year like it was fast it was like within months this kid had a [ __ ] ton of followers and was getting millions of views on every single video and then someone called him out and said every single video he makes is stolen and you can watch the side by sides yeah and they're exactly the same yep and so he went on his live stream to be like to say this basically followers gets to your head this makes [Music] who sense a [ __ ] about some little happy content it's like i'm an actor i'm not a writer i'm not a [ __ ] storyteller you give me a script i'll [ __ ] nail that [ __ ] i'm not gonna think of it no but i'm gonna make yours better or make yours you know good like your [ __ ] is probably not as good and that's why it's not performing well i'm gonna go on live and see how much [ __ ] i can get in the comments for copy and content this is what happens like it almost seems like that's the best acting that he's done ever done ever like that was incredible at the end there yeah we're going live and steal content whatever dude new man your best character is yourself man yeah exactly that [ __ ] is great yeah you gotta love it you killed it in that live stream brother yeah oh you're literally she was your strongest performance to date that's the best part he thinks he's acting and all the videos are him going like and that's it it's a half a second of him doing something it's like dude you know what man i should i should we should continue the series where you know i took tyler brash and we gave him a scene yeah i'll call him new maine and be like all right [ __ ] yeah all right here's a four-page script [ __ ] paragraphs drama all right you got two weeks and i'm gonna pull out a whole crew and we're gonna see how you do yeah and we'll just put it up for the world and be like y'all [ __ ] with new mains acting or nah that's the thing is that with tyler brash his videos were povs where they were like minute long scenarios that he made up they were like a motivation he had a character and everything yeah newman's half of his [ __ ] videos that he got famous on is that one is lip singing that one song that goes yeah all right i that's not acting dude you're lip-syncing a song [Laughter] yeah man take it from us tendy ketchup [ __ ] guys take it from a couple small bald losers okay yeah we know all right take it from a couple small bald losers like yourself all right we know what the [ __ ] we're talking about and we also got to talk about mcconaughey running for goddamn governor oh yeah shit's going to pop off in the bonus episode folks patreon.com if you want to get access to this bonus episode but also every single other one that we've done there's like 70 now yeah there's a ton so you do that you pay five bucks a month and you immediately unlock 70 hours of content at least i'm not promising you that because i don't know exactly how many bonuses we've done how many 60 50 something it's in the it's a 50s it's at least a year worth yeah 78. yeah wow so uh and also teamgpod.com if you want to get some of this sweet merch and we'll see you in the bonus we appreciate you thank you for the love on the new set and uh we're gonna cruise on over to the uh bone bone zone land we got an exciting yeah we do a lot we got a door we're gonna we gotta fly over there first but yeah we do i'm sorry i had to um i just had to text one of my other small bald tendy dick friends how about why um just where he can get more ketchup all right guys i'll see you soon bye

Channel: Tiny Meat Gang

Views: 383,419

Rating: 4.9748297 out of 5

Keywords: Jake, Paul, Ben, Askren, Logan, Triller, Justin, Bieber, Doja, Cat, Ice, Cube, Snoop, Dogg, Boxing, TikTok, Neumane, Saweetie, Super, League, Soccer, Oscar, Hoya, UFC, MMA, Fight, Club

Id: N3AJ6sTQmI4

Length: 68min 8sec (4088 seconds)

Published: Thu Apr 22 2021