Bitlife but I always pick the worst option

hey there friends how's it going my name is called me kevin i'm filling in for kevin call me unfortunately he's deceased and in jail he's going to be busy for a while i'm going to be your new host see how long i can last with that head trauma i'm going to start a new life today we're gonna be i am wrong who you guessed it well you probably knew it from the title they're gonna pick every single wrong option that comes up every single choice i get i'm gonna pick the worst option available to me this really seems like what a child would make up to get out of giving the real name in place what's your name young man i am wrong my name is i am wrong my father's jimmy wrong my mother is katie wrong to be fair when they had that second name i can't really blame them for calling me this like how could you resist trying to feed me slap that spoon away vaccination bite my mom oh my mom got promoted to sergeant first class they must have seen the bite marks and been like she is a tough cookie okay my parents just had another baby boy and they named him jose i feel like they like him more than me they didn't give me a chance with my name your neighbor who's a stylist offers to give you a fashionable new haircut you've been thinking about changing up your hairstyle recently what will he do i'm like four i'm just gonna say i'd rather be shaggy zoinks oh my god the dog died and my parents divorced and now i'm depressed that is a hell of a year oh my god no my mom is married already again jesus that was fast all right purvis my new stepfather i'm gonna call you bro my god jimmy over here is getting married as well i'll call her sis i guess i'm suffering from scarlet fever i'm gonna [ __ ] die aren't i oh god turg is bullying me attack him oh what's the worst thing here poke his throat it did a lot of damage i got sent to juvie how was he supposed to get out of that how is he supposed to be in like juvenile court with the name i am wrong and get out of that you've been released okay good i'm back on the streets and i'm not depressed anymore juvie did a lot of work for me to be fair i'm being bullied again dude i just got out of juvie for poking someone's throat are you really gonna toy with me here now i have to scuffle with you it's a terrible idea but i have to do it claw his elbow specifically the weiners i missed oh no oh and now i'm in the principal's office okay argue i suppose oh my god now my father's giving out are you yelled at your father wait which father was that is it stepfather am i like bro back off i'm 11. oh yeah they had a brother and they named him august they're they're definitely trolling me oh great i'm sick with a fever i guess just search the web the thing is i do this as the worst option but this is what i do in real life and then i freak myself out huh got a bit of a scratch there actually a little bit of a cut well guess i'm dying then oh my god see now he's freaked himself out but even if he's right like i gotta pick the worst option so just pray it's just pray it goes away oh my god his happiness is a one percent a fishing pole and tells you will teach you everything knows about fishing you've been feeling a need to be more outdoorsy lately what will you do the worst option nothing oh i'm depressed this feels like i've lived like an entire life already and i'm 15. oh puberty is so hard i'm suffering from anxiety now and how am i supposed to get out of my depression when an unusually heavy snowfall in canada generates a month-long smell of avalanches killing 163 elk and 16 people why did they lead with the elk classmate has asked you out he's definitely not in the position to be dating he's so much baggage and he's only 15 but you know what start going out with him oh my god even his health is so low should i go to the doctor like i gotta keep him alive or i could just keep doing what i'm doing instead to take a driving test dude i shouldn't be behind the wheel at all what does this road sign me chair ahead oh they're gonna ban me for life that's not even just you failed it's like you failed and you're never allowed to take this test or even be inside an automobile ever again you graduated from high school oh my god my depression is gone same that's exactly what happened to me i pick a major dance look i'm not saying there's anything wrong with dance it's not for i am wrong it's not his specialty i got rejected anyway they they could sense it in me they saw stiffness in i am wrong military it is then i like how the marines have these swords yeah i want to play with swords i got rejected i mean if my application just said i want to play with swords i can kind of see why okay air force my name is i am wrong and i all right i shouldn't lead with the name either me want gun rejected again all right last but not least all right navy honestly you you are my first choice i just left the best for last i love the village people's song you know in the navy you can sail the seven seas in the navy uh heaven wants to be with ye please accept me god damn it i even did a little musical number all right what about starting a small business as a cat behavior consultant that seems like a terrible idea oh no they asked me a question oh which of these are you most passionate about human rights sleep music or money leap i guess they hired me oh my god i better never leave this job because i will never get another one they were just desperate isn't this my business or am i working for a small business i thought i was starting a small business was that my like bank loan application just big bold letters on one sheet i am wrong me like sleep you have a client at work who feeds her cat by chewing up cat food and spitting it into the cat's mouth like a bird record it and post it on youtube if you receive a voucher for free pairs sunglasses there must be strings attached i don't like free things all my looks are struggling that would have helped me with my looks apparently just throwing on sunglasses how do i look did it work do i look cool you know what i i don't think it actually works i'm gonna get surgery instead which in itself is a terrible idea like i look terrible i'm not trying the basic things like putting on sunglasses or you know maybe just caring for myself i'm just going straight to penis enlargement i'm gonna go to doctor thrasher it sounds like a villain out of a cartoon not so fast dr thrasher maybe he didn't go too fast because he botched it and then my evil stepmother pranked me really i just came out of a botched surgery and now you think is the best time to prank me slap her neck oh my god my happiness health and looks is so bad all right we're gonna find a law firm to represent me um we're gonna go with burger and associates what a surprise it didn't work and now i'm depressed a health boost let's see your friend invites you to play on this kawai kickball team you've been thinking about ways to be more active what will you do i'll watch your friends are all joining instagram yeah definitely that'll boost your self-confidence go straight to social media uh post a sexy pic you've always got zero likes and you lost four followers fantastic while trimming the bush you find a money clinky but it's mine now i'm gonna ask out my boss your attempt to seduce your supervisor bet he was unsuccessful well i didn't really even need to read that sentence because just as i was clicking i realized it said she was gay now i've been reported to hate jordan oh no not another choice well watching the weekends dynamic performance through the super bowl halftime show is this an advert for the weekend i'm okay with that the weekends seem good i don't know i've heard like two of their songs and i was snapping my fingers throughout uh he gets lost in a golden maze of mirrors while looking for something what do you think the weeknd was looking for the blair witch probably i'm usually looking for it no luck so far i hope well we do social media let's make a youtube video what can we make dance show those people who rejected you for a dance degree that they were wrong got zero views all right i might have to directly send it to them otherwise they may never see it i'm cured from depression a simple dance just a bit of time my depression is gone i'm gonna go on the dating app let's see uh what's the worst option here 80 plus i suppose there we go a crazy gazelle roach over here she's she's insane go on a date discuss birth control i don't think that matters it just turns to her i think it's time we discuss birth control that she's literally 70 years old your friend's dad is a drug overdose specialist who use zoom in emergency situations and talk down patients hallucinating on psychedelics your friend thinks should be hilarious to covertly add a filter to his dead zoom i think i know what this is referring to i'm here live that's not i'm not a cat uh i can i can see that pennywise oh that's gotta be the worst option all right i'm gonna buy a hovercraft wait i don't have a boating license all right i'll take the test oh does this macro signify i no engine fan i guess but i gotta pick the wrong one so no combustion vessels wait i passed fantastic always one step ahead all right buy the hovercraft straight up cash name it the unsinkable this is just this is just baiting them to kill me i also need a jet ski and the tandem kayak even though i have no one to ride it with and i have the girlfriend but she's like 74 or something i don't think she should be out there all right and i'll spend the rest on a wedding ring i think emerald ring it is buy it with cash i was trying to click on her i know that she's younger than the person i'm dating and she's my mom 72 okay dating for two years go for it propose this is not gonna work god i gotta pick the worst option at a funeral sure check that god damn it i searched the web because i had a headache and now i think i have malnutrition drink a smoothie would probably actually be a good option here so i'm just gonna hope it goes away oh i'm going negative in money why oh yeah all the boats require upkeep i suppose let's take a ride on each of them to see how good they are there there we go loved going on the unsinkable oh the log raft was lovely too oops i accidentally aged up i meant to go on a ride at all of them but now i got a text from the ex of her moist tongue they're a weird way to describe it i mean i technically are correct but it's just strange and afford it to my friends then i'm going out on the jet ski that went pleasantly they're all equally enjoyable i'm starting to feel like i wasted my money and buying that hovercraft it's like yeah the hovercraft's okay but the log raft is just as fun on your way to 7-eleven you witness a clown littering try to intervene oh my god he pounded my chest and i died oh my god 38 years old what a way to go you died after sustaining massive injuries and assault how did littering escalate to that oh you know kids so i can't even continue i'll just try again but this is actually playing out the exact same oh but she married someone else someone who looks really pissed off all right this time i'm gonna call my stepfather daddy cockford balls i wanna call him daddy cockford balls all right let's move on it's not funny it's his name feel like i'm doing the laugh you lose oh challenge someone's playing a prank on the teacher their name is fittingly bart i'm going to attack them by licking oh no why would they include that licks 2 that's equally no it's not equally weird but it's weird they're being bullied at school scuffle i'm gonna lick you i'd slap his wrist even though i'm pretty sure that's the saying that you got away with it like a little slap on the wrist but slap his wrist and i'll get sent to the principal's office okay can you at least just give me a slap on the wrist oh driving test great what does this road sign mean people asking for money ahead dan is so close suffering from anxiety he's just realized like am i this stupid really all right pick a major arts my parents won't pay student loan no boats for me i'm afraid a young lady named default default looks suggestively at you while eating a whole cucumber without chewing well that is terrifying horrible idea but sleep with her no no need for protection don't die my health is so bad oh wait yeah i graduated um let's look for a job i guess something in the arts is there anything in the arts this is bad all right no job for me oh wait i got a job referral a junior animator that's good take the job and i didn't even have an interview because i just knew someone you know it's not about what you know it's about who you know my depression is gone as i am a junior animator i'm going to design the original sonic design from the sonic movie oh this this may have been a result of the uh you know not using protection let's just have a bit of a prey and just go about her day thanks god keep an eye out for me oh no search the web oh no he sees gonorrhea drink a smoothie while at work a co-worker has generated a villain character there's a striking resemblance to you i just want royalties oh no oh no i don't pray pray hard oh my god she's calling again all right go see her oh no i'm losing my hair it doesn't bother me keep the baby this is wrong name how is he this smart with all the decisions he's been making it's time to vaccinate your daughter this is no oh my god the amount of smoothies he's drank and his health is getting no better oh my god there's so many medical issues search the web and hope it goes away how do i invest all my money in gamestop stock i don't think i've missed the boat yet i shouldn't talk about boats that's pretty much how i died last time all right to the casino it is oh no i didn't even think about what i was getting myself into i bet 10 grand but i got to pick the worst option i'll stand i won yes 19 hit me all right keep going i'll stand ah i think i just got really fortunate the first time 21 oh i was going to try and say hit me again but it wouldn't let me 17. hit me goddamn okay i'm gonna lose all my money here leave the casino the only good choice i made all day time to buy an exotic pet a wolf go for it i'm gonna call it my murderer because i just feel like that's how it's gonna end oh my god that is tragic i just got it and it just died and that cured my depression for some reason and my anxiety to be fair my person bought a wolf they have no experience and they probably didn't want the wolf i imagine that would cause you to be depressed and anxious at all times horse racing i'm gonna bet on flaps up ten grand come on flaps up please come on put those flaps up up come on oh he came last literally dead last i've been busted for what disorderly conduct what was i doing can we get a flashback there what was that i'll just take a public defender please even though i could have easily afforded the other ones now i'm going to jail all right just have a cry in prison i thought it'd be a horrible idea but i wept like a widow while waiting in line for the shower and the other prisoners gave you a round of applause gee thanks you guys you know i've had a tough life but this really feels like home in here no don't release me oh no i gotta get back to prison time to rabbit train clearly like just something here back in prison it didn't show up i didn't look at the timetable okay let's look at a different crime then judging off my driving test i definitely shouldn't be stealing a cat i got caught plainly back with people who understand me have a cry they made fun of the way i cry why i don't know what dentist but some dentists in jail offered me free and animals enamel shaping procedure free of charge yeah go for it oh it actually helped okay i thought it was a bad idea you know just a random prisoner going hey need a dentist oh god crazy eight he looks so sad but i i know you shouldn't mess with someone called crazy eight but i'm gonna attack him oh my god i left him deaf it wasn't even the kick i kicked him in the throat and then screamed in his ear leaving him deaf appeal my sentence i got i got released okay there you go thanks bad steak i'll be a karen lash out oh my god the casino calls and offers me the presidential suite if you come back and play i wonder why it's oh it must be my charming personality let's go back 21 look at that now the smart decision would be to walk away so deal 20 hit me okay all my money is gone oh my god i forgot i was still unemployed i am earning no money but don't worry history repeats itself my half brother has gotten me a job as a cat behavior consultant again my stepfather died and my depression is cured i don't know what sick twisted individual i am wrong is but his depression magically goes away every time someone dies so i guess the natural conclusion there is to kill someone my stepfather dying made me happy imagine how much happiness i get from my actual father dying i have no money to hire a hitman hold on i'll be back your father called you an asshat in a moment of fury well now i just have a reason to do it oh god damn it father time the greatest hit man of all got him first skip the funeral yeah immigration sounds good where'd i go uh that's the worst option out of here ireland isn't here so we'll have to go the second worst who am i least likely to offend from doing this the germans they don't hold the grudge they denied me i'm a greater legally then resist deportation i've been deported this is a terrible terrible idea like he's got so many diseases and everything and this poor person this poor garth guy you gave him syphilis oh he's angry you notice that your memory isn't as good as it used to be what would he do you notice that your memory isn't as good as it used to be what would you do wait what was i thinking about now with malaria how did i get malaria drink the malaria cure smoothie it's like essential oils but in smoothie form i am amazed that he's still alive like it doesn't make any goddamn sense that he's still alive oh no why did i say anything well for a walk a junkie offers you crack cocaine i'd hit that you're concerned because your best friend dustin's use of alcohol is spiraling out of control meanwhile i'm just accepting cocaine off a random person in the street oh more muscle pain drink a smoothie it was the smoothie that killed me in the end how the hell did he get to 62 and die while sleeping peacefully that makes no sense whatsoever continuous this is oh yes they're they're child i i'll have to end the bloodline i'm afraid because this is terrible how do you so much money oh they remarried they got rid of the surname that was it time for murder all of a sudden they just take a turn they're a heel now push your husband off a cliff he died there we go okay i'm going to jail i got sentenced to death oh my god and i lost my job what a horrible day oh my wait i was going to say this looks awful but i can just walk out the damn door okay goodbye i've been persist arrested i got caught immediately oh now they're swapping it's a legal injection okay out the door we go okay this was [ __ ] easy again like they're saying i'm on dead row but where are they keeping me it seems just like there's an open door sign up for twitter yeah let's do a tweet no jail can hold me long travel photo just to show them exactly where i am someone called default daft i will kick your skull take a duffle bag to israel sure international travel while i'm on the run from death row sounds like a great idea what could go wrong i got arrested run i'm out a masked gunman is attempting to rob a clerk while you're waiting in line at the bank call the police right away not only is this a horrible idea because you know i'm in the bank and just being like hello policia but also they're gonna arrest me like he's gonna be locked up for what three years five years and i i'm gonna be killed they're gonna kill me the police arrived but they were too late he died and now i've been captured great fantastic resist the rest no i'm gonna die on my 44th birthday oh no this is getting much harder run run i'm so fast oh almost oh god that's a lot of alerts okay age up i'm depressed that's because i only have one more chance of escaping or they're going to kill me oh no okay run oh they got me it worked in the movies oh my god all the pop-ups i can't even see what happened all right my final year it was postponed oh my god i immediately escaped and now i'm going to israel again someone offered me drugs yeah go for it there we go i got executed their life was going fine until like 26 and i took control and then just ruined it but we're going to end it there i hope you enjoyed if you want to see more bitlife let me know leave a like subscribe if you're new thank you for watching appreciate you and hope to see you next time bye for now you

Channel: Call Me Kevin

Views: 1,058,619

Rating: 4.9670291 out of 5

Keywords: Call Me Kevin, Call Me, CallMeKevin, CallMe, bitlife, bitlife challenge, playing bitlife, bitlife life simulator, bitlife update, bitlife god mode, bitlife politics, bitlife game, bitlife gameplay, bitlife funny, bitlife funny moments, living my bitlife, bitlife life simulator gameplay, bitlife callmekevin

Id: lmD6Sn_HXI4

Length: 21min 4sec (1264 seconds)

Published: Thu Feb 18 2021